1 00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:12,846 As you reach the end of your first year in the afterlife... 2 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:14,681 what do you remember most? 3 00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:16,891 The everlasting friendships you made? 4 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,769 The adversity you overcame together? 5 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,063 The day everything was chocolate? 6 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,690 That day was awesome. 7 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:27,235 I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. It was all chocolate. 8 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:30,655 You only have a few hours left in your first year, 9 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:34,200 so why not do as many amazing good deeds for other people 10 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,412 as you possibly can by midnight? Just in case. 11 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,665 I know. I know. I'll take it out. 12 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,667 I'm a little tired, okay? Lay off. 13 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:46,963 That movie, minus the part where Eleanor gives away the entire experiment, 14 00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:49,007 will play before the party tonight. 15 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:52,552 Speaking of which, the theme is One Year Down, Infinity to Go. 16 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:54,637 Dress is London black tie. 17 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:58,099 That means Knightsbridge black tie, not Kensington. 18 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:01,978 Or heaven forbid West Brompton. 19 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,105 Can you imagine? 20 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,273 No. 21 00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:08,610 Also, just after midnight, in order to reset my processing power, 22 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:12,072 I will be violently eating my Janet babies. 23 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,948 I'd advise no one look directly at me. 24 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:18,286 Copy that. So, tonight at the party, we're going for one more point grab. 25 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:20,663 I'm gonna suggest they make toasts about each other, 26 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:24,042 celebrate their ups and downs, demonstrate personal growth, 27 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:26,711 blah, blah, blah, humanity is saved! 28 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,965 One more day, guys. Let's finish strong. 29 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:35,553 And to that end, as you might know, I've been practicing human magic. 30 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:36,513 Oh! 31 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,682 - Ta-da! - Dope. 32 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,601 So, I was thinking... 33 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:44,729 No, the Magnificent Dr. Presto is not performing tonight. 34 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,065 - Come on, I... - Dude, magic is always lame, 35 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:50,735 but it's especially lame here, where there's actual magic. 36 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:53,947 As a counter argument... check your pocket. 37 00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:57,951 The other one. 38 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:02,372 Oh, shoot, sorry. It's my pocket. 39 00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:05,500 - Ta-da! - Dope. 40 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,168 You know what? You can perform. 41 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,420 - Really? - Yeah, you changed my mind 42 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:10,880 with that pocket thing. 43 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,132 Oh, boffo! 44 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,217 Oh. 45 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,760 - You're being mean. - Yep. 46 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,811 I am very excited for tonight. 47 00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:27,564 And dare I say, you all look so splendid, 48 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:30,692 you could work the coat check at the Met Gala. 49 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:33,611 Oh, speaking of the Met Gala, remember that security cam footage 50 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,947 of Solange and Jay-Z fighting in the elevator? 51 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,533 I learned to read lips. Turns out she was yelling, 52 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:41,244 "No fair! I wanted to be the one to push the button." 53 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:46,541 So, uh, yeah, it wasn't as juicy as some people maybe thought it was. 54 00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:49,210 Hey, gang. Had a pretty good round today. 55 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:52,255 Better close this door. I don't want all those birdies to follow me in here. 56 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,716 Why? 57 00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:56,718 Okay, Brent, hurry up and change so we can get to the party. 58 00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:57,719 Oh, right, hang on. 59 00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,096 Uh, Janet gave me this... 60 00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:01,306 Tuxedo in a can. 61 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,225 - Oh! - Ooh. 62 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:07,687 I came this close to firing Janet, but she's gotten a lot better. 63 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:10,356 Okay. We're not leaving yet. I need to show you all something. 64 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:14,360 This is the result of months of observation. 65 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,071 Now, I know you're gonna think I'm crazy... 66 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,948 No, why would we think that? 67 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,200 But there is something wrong with this neighborhood. 68 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,037 And it involves the people in this room. 69 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,124 So crazy that we're at the end of this thing 70 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:29,918 and we have no idea how we did. 71 00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:34,547 Janet, any chance you could get a look inside that obelisk? 72 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,049 Check that magic scoreboard? 73 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,800 There is a chance, yes. 74 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,553 About one in 970 trillion. 75 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:41,971 Let's give her a whirl. 76 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,058 It did not work. 77 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,100 I'll be right back. 78 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,310 Ugh! 79 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:53,274 I feel okay about most of it, but I just wish we had one concrete sign 80 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,567 that Brent has improved. 81 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,653 One moment where he bumps into someone 82 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:59,197 and sincerely says, "Oops, my bad," you know? 83 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,740 I would kill for an "Oops, my bad." 84 00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:02,951 Who's a girl gotta fork to get an "Oops, my bad"? 85 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:06,454 Hey, hey, hey, panicking about this experiment at crucial moments 86 00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:07,956 is kinda my move. 87 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,707 - Don't fall apart on me now. - I won't. 88 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,210 It's just... You know me. 89 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:15,004 On Earth, I never played a game unless I knew I could either win, 90 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,340 or bribe the ref so he'd throw it for me, 91 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:22,053 and if we lose, I'm gonna be so mad. 92 00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,221 Just one more day. 93 00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:26,266 We're gonna stick to the plan, not do anything radical. 94 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:31,521 Though we could do something... magical. 95 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:32,897 You gotta let it go, man. 96 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,232 She's right. 97 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:38,152 I've been suspicious about this place since day one. 98 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,154 Over the last few months, I've been collecting data, 99 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,322 and now I am positive. 100 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,116 Something is truly forked up. 101 00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:44,951 You didn't tell me about any of this, muffin! 102 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,411 Okay, you call her "muffin?" 103 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:49,080 I'm getting a lot of breaking news at once here. 104 00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:50,123 I was gathering evidence. 105 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,792 I didn't want to compromise the integrity of the data collection. 106 00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,335 Oh, so romantic. 107 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:56,838 Here's what I know... 108 00:04:56,921 --> 00:05:00,216 Eleanor and Michael are up to something, and it's focused on us. 109 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:04,637 I mean, there are 300 people in the neighborhood, and somehow, 110 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,557 they just spend all their time talking to the six people in this room. 111 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,892 Well, I mean, who else are they gonna talk to? 112 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,019 Dumb Shorts Cathy? 113 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,271 What is your problem with her? 114 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:17,025 I mean... shorts? "Cathy"? 115 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,568 What isn't my problem with her? 116 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,154 Jianyu, you okay? You look sweaty. 117 00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:22,989 Oh, no, he's fine. 118 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,658 He always sweats when he's meditating. 119 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,493 He calls it "sweat-itating." 120 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:32,707 No, I mean, um, he doesn't talk, so I call it that. 121 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:34,167 I'm friends with Sting. 122 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,710 I can't take it anymore. 123 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:39,255 I know something and it's just graduated from hot goss to relevant AF. 124 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,215 Yes, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. 125 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:46,554 That's not Jianyu. His name is Jason, and he's here by mistake. 126 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:49,390 Chidi's been helping him hide and become a better person. 127 00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:53,936 I also knew about this, of course. 128 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,064 Might as well come clean, darling. 129 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:01,569 Hi, Simone. Jason Mendoza, Jacksonville, Florida. 130 00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:03,237 Go, Jags, obviously. 131 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,947 Um, what else about me... 132 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,115 I was born in a swimming pool... 133 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,659 Okay. You never told me about this, Ducky! 134 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:12,371 "Ducky?" I'm gonna have to sit down. This is too much. 135 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,665 Well, I swore I wouldn't tell, 136 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:17,877 and keeping your word is a central tenet of deontological ethics. 137 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,629 Oh, so romantic. 138 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:24,967 Okay, let's assume certain things are odd about this place. What is your theory? 139 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:25,885 I don't know. 140 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,179 Maybe this isn't the Good Place. 141 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,472 Maybe it's a test. 142 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,600 My best guess, it's some kind of experiment. 143 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,560 We're being observed in a closed environment. 144 00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:37,980 Simone, look at this logically. 145 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,066 We are in paradise. 146 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:43,319 There's fresh air, mountains, Janet! 147 00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:46,030 And yes, some of us are under 5'10", 148 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:49,367 but other than that, it is literally perfect here. 149 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,493 No, it is not. 150 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,828 Jason is proof. 151 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,747 And if you need more evidence that this isn't the Good Place, 152 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:57,166 clearly, he's not the only one who doesn't belong. 153 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,337 Actually, she's right. And I know it for a fact. 154 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,507 For the first time ever, I am desperate for you to keep talking. 155 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,884 Well, right at the beginning, I talked to Mike and Eleanor, 156 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,803 and they were like, "Yeah, don't tell anyone this, 157 00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:12,765 but there's a place better than this, the Best Place, 158 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,517 and that's where you're headed, amigo." 159 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,852 I don't think they actually called you "amigo." 160 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,104 I had to go through the year here, kind of a test I guess, 161 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:19,230 which, obviously, I aced. 162 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:22,150 So, at midnight I'm on the first Escalade out of here, baby. 163 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,151 - Brent? - Yeah? 164 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:24,402 - Think about this. - Okay. 165 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:27,405 How could you get into the Best Place? 166 00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:32,869 You would literally have to be one of the most incredible people in the universe. 167 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,832 - It makes sense to me. - I don't know what to tell you. 168 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:40,418 Okay, in the words of Princess Kate 169 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:42,462 after we came back from our shopping trip in Ibiza, 170 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,005 "There's a lot to unpack here." 171 00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:47,967 Perhaps we should just put our concerns aside and enjoy ourselves. 172 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,260 No way. 173 00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:52,221 We have to figure out exactly what is going on here. 174 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,725 Okay, just go to the party, but keep your eyes open. 175 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,477 - I've got a special mission for us. - Oh, I... 176 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,646 Oh, good. Muffin and Ducky are on the case. 177 00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:08,613 - How's it going? - Awesome. 178 00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,157 - No, it isn't. - Oh, yeah, terrible. 179 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,076 Simone knows the neighborhood isn't what it appears to be. 180 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,912 She's been collecting evidence for months. 181 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:19,665 So, all that hanging out with Brent, and participating in group activities... 182 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,083 Was under false pretenses. 183 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,753 She was observing him. She's been observing everything. 184 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,838 Guys, pick a card. 185 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,507 - Yes. - No time. 186 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:28,799 The subjects are onto us. 187 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:32,720 They know something weird is going on, and it could derail the entire experiment. 188 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:35,056 Oh, no. 189 00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:37,642 Oh, sorry, uh, that was unintentional. 190 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:40,937 What? 191 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,607 There's nothing here. Did you find anything? 192 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:47,276 Just some song lyrics Michael wrote. 193 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,821 "Here's a trippy little ditty, 'bout a train to Groovy City. 194 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:55,409 Open up your freaky crystal mind, and we'll have a cosmic good time." 195 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,411 That makes me think we're in hell. 196 00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:00,373 Look, we tried to prove your theory, but it feels like we came up empty. 197 00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:04,418 Chidi, there is so much evidence they've been lying. How can you not see that? 198 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,337 Eleanor told me that this was her first neighborhood. 199 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,881 Maybe some of these are just honest mistakes. 200 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:15,972 And, also, she told me some other stuff that I really want to be true. 201 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,474 What kind of stuff? 202 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,353 Well, it was something about us. 203 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,317 Why does everything I do fall apart so close to the end? 204 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,778 My first experiment, now this experiment. 205 00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:34,949 I only got halfway through writing "The Purple Train to Groovy City." 206 00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:37,451 - I just ran out of creative juice. - Focus. 207 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,246 We cannot let this slip away from us at the last second. 208 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:42,707 New plan, forget the toasts. 209 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,166 We do nothing, 210 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,127 and we hope that our early successes 211 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,588 make up for the embarrassing mess we've become. 212 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,631 Like Facebook or America. 213 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,217 Okay? Sound good? Michael? 214 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:57,138 We have no way to know what this really means for the experiment. 215 00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,266 I don't think we can play it safe. I have a plan. 216 00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:04,729 It's risky, but it might be the only way to get them to where they need to be. 217 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:06,981 Do you trust me? 218 00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:10,651 Yeah, fork it. Whatever it is, I'm in. 219 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,029 - I'm always down for forking it. - We trust you, Michael. 220 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:17,825 Then trust... the Magnificent Dr. Presto! 221 00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:22,705 Man, you cannot pull that hat out after you ask us if we trust you. 222 00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,373 Soulmates? 223 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:27,251 That's what Eleanor said, that we're soulmates? 224 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,878 Yep. Pretty neat, huh? 225 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,672 I think it's pretty neat. Do you think it's pretty neat, intensely, forever? 226 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:37,053 Chidi, I really like you, but I don't think we're soulmates. 227 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,430 Because I don't think soulmates actually exist. 228 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:40,890 Right. 229 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,351 Right, right. 230 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,519 - Right? - Think rationally. 231 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,481 Isn't it weird that she only told one of us that we're soulmates? 232 00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:51,484 Is it odd? Yes. 233 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:54,320 Does it mean that Eleanor's motives are questionable? 234 00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:55,738 Also, yes. 235 00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,491 But does it suggest that she wasn't being truthful? 236 00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,618 Yes. Okay, I'm starting to see your point. 237 00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:01,702 Whoa! 238 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,248 What does that mean? 239 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,459 Why are there only four of us? Why not Tahani and Jason? 240 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:11,212 Why are there emojis? I mean, one of them's party hat guy. 241 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:12,880 I mean, that's good, right? He's friendly. 242 00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:16,676 It's better than thermometer guy, or angry cat or smiling poop coil. 243 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,010 Okay. We have to get back to the party 244 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,845 before Eleanor and Michael notice we're missing. 245 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,222 Great plan. Let's kiss. 246 00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:23,516 Sorry, still thinking about the soulmate thing. 247 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:24,975 - Let's go. - Okay. 248 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:28,521 Ladies and gentlemen... I can't believe I'm saying this. 249 00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,940 The Magnificent Dr. Presto! 250 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:36,737 Thank you. Now, I know some of you may not believe in magic... 251 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,447 Well, I think they believe in some magic. 252 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:42,284 Yesterday, everybody ate a lollipop that let them talk to birds. 253 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:45,246 Okay, but this is Earth magic, 254 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:49,583 and it's harder, and if you don't understand that, 255 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:54,380 I'm here... to change your mind. 256 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:55,673 Ha-ha! 257 00:11:55,756 --> 00:12:00,136 Oh, come on. It started out as a dollar bill and now it's four quarters. 258 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,303 "Change" your mind? 259 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,888 - Michael, it's three quarters. - What? 260 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,014 Oh, oh... 261 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,224 Three quarters. 262 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,769 Three quarters. Even harder. 263 00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,271 Thank you. 264 00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:11,814 Can you make them clap harder? 265 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:13,441 They see what they see, man. 266 00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,151 Did you guys find anything? 267 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:19,071 Yes, proof that the four of us, and only the four of us, are being forked with. 268 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,866 But we still don't have any hard proof that this place is evil, 269 00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:24,785 or that Michael and Eleanor are nefarious, so, you know, 270 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,829 no one's heart needs to break just yet. 271 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,747 I'm with him. This place is fine. 272 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,666 If you guys don't make the cut for the Best Place, 273 00:12:30,749 --> 00:12:33,711 I'll try to put in a good word for you. You guys got business cards? 274 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:36,338 Brent. I need a volunteer. Come on up. 275 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:43,387 Okay, Brent, I want you to take off your wristwatch and place it in my hat. 276 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:47,475 Now, this is a Rolex. It's the exact same watch Richie Sambora wears. 277 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:48,559 - Ah! - Be careful. 278 00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:53,439 And now, the Magnificent Dr. Presto... 279 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:55,316 will transform your... 280 00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:56,817 Oh, oh... 281 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:01,822 Oh, whoa, no, no! 282 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,828 Brent, can you hear me? 283 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:12,166 If it somehow helps, there's a small dove in your pocket. 284 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,504 Never mind. 285 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:21,759 Brent, I'm so sorry. I must've screwed up the trick somehow. 286 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,011 Hold on. We're gonna get you out of there. 287 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:24,929 Yeah, you better. 288 00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:27,139 I got a hell of a lawsuit on my hands! I'm gonna frickin' own this place. 289 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:28,766 Okay. 290 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:32,061 Okay, everyone, uh, please disperse. We'll let you know when it's safe. 291 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:35,147 Uh, you three stay here. Keep an eye on Brent. 292 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,859 We're gonna try and fix this remotely, using eternal-being technology. 293 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,779 - Tahani, Jianyu, try and find a rope. - Right-o. 294 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:45,074 Okay, so what do we do? Try to climb down or wait for the rope? 295 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,034 Neither, we get the fork out of here. 296 00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:50,454 Chidi, a giant hell-hole just opened up and swallowed one of us. 297 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:54,166 I don't care what this place really is. Giant holes are bad and we should go. 298 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,584 Or giant holes are bad, 299 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,712 so if someone falls into one, you try to help get him out. 300 00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,465 I'm not scared. 301 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,176 I'm shouting so you know I'm okay. I am very brave. 302 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:09,098 Whoo! I hope this works. We basically just confirmed that we're lying to them. 303 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:12,601 Oh, man. Was this a bad idea? I mean, what if this was a bad idea? 304 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,103 It wasn't, homie. It was a good idea. 305 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:17,231 - Can anyone else weigh in? - I'm serious. 306 00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:21,068 In football, trying to run out the clock and hoping for the best never works. 307 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,319 It's called prevent defense. 308 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,114 You don't take any chances and try and hang on to your lead. 309 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:28,951 But prevent defense just prevents you from winning. 310 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,787 It's always better to try something. 311 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,707 Jason, that was... coherent! 312 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:37,209 Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to. 313 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,044 It's a good plan, Michael. 314 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:42,089 Hopefully, they've bonded enough as a group to rescue Brent, 315 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,258 call me, get a train and all head out of here together. 316 00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:46,468 But was it a mistake to have Brent fall in? 317 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:50,097 We could've had Chidi fall in, right? Or a cute baby panda. 318 00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:53,017 Or maybe, you know, a box of donuts. Everyone loves donuts. 319 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,518 Brent was the right choice. 320 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,896 It's not a tough call whether to save Chidi, 321 00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,523 because he's a brilliant and kind person, 322 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,651 with a caboose you can bounce a quarter off of and I know 'cause I've done it. 323 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:06,739 We threw Brent in there because there is no reason 324 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:09,325 any of them should help him, because Brent sucks. 325 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,493 Brent is the opposite of a box of donuts. 326 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,913 - Toilet full of broccoli. - Yeah, kinda. 327 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,998 Brent is a toilet full of broccoli. 328 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:18,834 But because he sucks so bad, 329 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:22,254 if they do risk their safety to help him, they'll get more points. 330 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,214 Basically, it's a Hail Mary. 331 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:28,594 It's risky, but if we complete it, we win the game. 332 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:31,305 That was two good analogies in a row. 333 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:34,266 I'm now worried he's a demon in a Jason suit. 334 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,436 Are we really in hell? 335 00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:42,024 I didn't lead a perfect life on Earth, but I worked very hard. 336 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,943 Making fun of people you'd never even met. 337 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,611 I guess you must be right, Simone, 338 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,613 because you always have to be. 339 00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,490 Hey, are you the bottom of a coal-fired pizza? 340 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:52,952 - Why, because I'm burnt? - Gah! You are always right. 341 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,537 If it is hell, I know why I'm here. 342 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,832 Almond milk. I drank so much of it, 343 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,168 despite the negative environmental impacts. 344 00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:04,588 Wherever we are, I do not wanna be here when the clock hits zero. 345 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,632 Now might be our only chance to escape. 346 00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:07,633 Not without Brent. 347 00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:11,345 Do you think if the roles were reversed, he would waste any time rescuing you? 348 00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:14,890 Maybe... if Elle Macpherson were nearby and he wanted to impress her, 349 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,685 or if he thought that I was a prince he could ransom... 350 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:22,064 That's not the point. He is a person in a hole. 351 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:26,193 I have a duty to help him get out. What he would do is irrelevant. 352 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,403 I don't think it is. 353 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,114 If you do a science experiment a thousand times 354 00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,574 and always get the same results, you move on. 355 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:36,036 We've given Brent a thousand chances to be a good person. 356 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:40,916 In one of them, he was so awful, you punched him in the face. 357 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,128 Okay, when I did that, I thought cutting him out of our group 358 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:47,923 meant that he would have to find another place in heaven to hang out. 359 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,259 That's changed. I can't just leave him. 360 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,761 Well... 361 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,472 I respect your position. 362 00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:59,101 I respect yours. 363 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,691 Look, I know everything's really scary right now, 364 00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:07,109 but I just have to say it. 365 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,821 That was the most boring breakup I've ever seen. 366 00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,702 Hey, Chidi, shake it off. 367 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,121 - Another bus comes every 15 minutes. - Brent. 368 00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,965 - Where are they? - They never called a train. 369 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,801 - They must've taken Brent's Escalade. - Oh, that's good. 370 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,472 The important thing is that the group bonded and stayed together. 371 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,641 - Hello? Can someone help us? - "Us"? 372 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,227 Yeah, this frickin' genius tried to help me and he fell in. 373 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,938 - I thought you were smart, man. - Are you serious right now? 374 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,357 Well, turns out the group did not bond. 375 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,276 The group snapped in half. 376 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,490 Will you help us? These rocks are really sharp down here. 377 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,200 - I'm scared. - I'm not. 378 00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,452 - Just give us a second. - Guys, I think we're cooked. 379 00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:01,371 - It's over. - No. No way. 380 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,458 I am not giving up. I told you I only play games I can win, 381 00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:06,585 and I played this game, so that means we can win. 382 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,545 - I don't think that tracks. - Shut up. What do you know? 383 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:12,674 Literally everything, but keep going. I am liking this energy from you. 384 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,969 We have eight minutes left, so that means we keep trying. 385 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,180 What else can we try? We've already blown everything up. 386 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:19,139 We can't blow it up again. 387 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,599 If there's one thing I know in this world, 388 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,393 it's that you can always blow up the same thing twice. 389 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:25,562 He's right. 390 00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:28,315 We have one last move here. 391 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,110 Guys, we are so sorry about your ordeal. 392 00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:33,028 We just have a few questions for you. 393 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:36,031 Where are John and Simone? We can't find them. 394 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,535 They left. I don't know where they went. 395 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,286 Typical. Disloyal jerks. 396 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:45,124 You know, man, actually, they really tried with you, 397 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,542 and you made it very hard to be your friend. 398 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,460 You wanna know what happened? 399 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,671 They got jealous because I'm going to the Best Place. 400 00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:51,797 They bugged out. 401 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,298 You're not going to the Best Place. 402 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,176 Don't you get it? They're torturing you. They're torturing all of us. 403 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,264 Because this is the Bad Place. 404 00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:12,151 Oh, man. I can't believe you figured it out. 405 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:16,405 Wait, he's right? This is the Bad Place? 406 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,615 Yeah. Damn it, he's right. 407 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,576 - We had a good run, though. - We did. 408 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:23,287 So, no Best Place? 409 00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:24,746 - "So, no Best Place?" - No. 410 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:28,542 Oh, Brent, you big white oaf. Never change, bud. 411 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:31,753 Well, I guess we should let them know you guys are on your way. 412 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,213 - Yeah. - Wait. On our way where? 413 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:34,590 The actual Bad Place. 414 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:37,217 They let us toy with you a little just for kicks, 415 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,636 but now you're going... 416 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,096 And trust me on this... 417 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,182 it's a lot worse. 418 00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:52,232 - Well done. - Let's hope it works. 419 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:53,942 We only have a minute left. 420 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,319 Man, crazy twist, huh? 421 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,946 It's like something out of a Chip Driver novel. 422 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,158 - Leave me alone, Brent. - I'm kinda freaking out over here, man. 423 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,536 - You're my only real friend. - I'm not your friend. I don't like you. 424 00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:06,788 - But you helped me. - Yeah, I did. 425 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:10,000 Because I have this stupid moral code that forces me to help everyone. 426 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:13,962 But you have never helped anyone because you don't care about other people, 427 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,048 which is the bare minimum that a person has to do. 428 00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,258 Just care, a little, about the other people around you, 429 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,093 and you can't do it. 430 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,557 What are you trying to say here? 431 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,687 You are a bad person. 432 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,984 - You can do this. - Come on, dumb-dumb. Faster. 433 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,614 No, I'm not. 434 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:44,326 I'm not... I'm not a bad person. 435 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,663 I'm not. I'm a good person. 436 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,833 Oh, man. 437 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,837 Oh, no, no, no. 438 00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:57,965 No, no. 439 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:03,345 Look, Chidi, whatever happens next, I, uh, need to say this to you. 440 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:05,013 All right? I am... 441 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,976 I am so, so sor... 442 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:21,196 Sorry, Eleanor asked me to bring her this the second the experiment was over. 443 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,282 Well, you know what they say. 444 00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,784 It's zero o'clock in the sky somewhere.