1 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,594 Oh, Janet, you disappoint me. 2 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,847 I expected more of a fight from you. 3 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:17,183 Yet here you are, all alone in the Bad Place, 4 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,937 rendered powerless by a measly magnet jail. 5 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,105 [laughs boisterously] 6 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,484 It's okay, I guess. 7 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,069 What is the issue now, hmm? 8 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,946 That's not how Michael laughs. 9 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:32,157 It's more of a delighted giggle. 10 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,116 [Shawn] She's right. 11 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,869 You need to nail his subtleties and mannerisms 12 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:37,495 for this to properly work as torture. 13 00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:39,164 [sighs] 14 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,457 My problem with the role 15 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:43,334 is that I haven't fully figured out Michael's motivation yet. 16 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:47,922 Like, I'm inside Michael, but I need to be "inside" Michael. 17 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,133 Hmm. You know, it actually feels more like torture 18 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,427 when you discuss your "acting process." 19 00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:53,470 You don't get it. 20 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,430 If you really wanna know Michael's motivation, 21 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:57,390 it's the same as the rest of my friends: 22 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,434 Loyalty, empathy and love. 23 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,686 -Ew. -And that's why they will prevail. 24 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:04,689 I hate to break it to you, hon. They're not gonna prevail. 25 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:08,485 No one's coming to save you. 26 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:09,402 [laughs maliciously] 27 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,697 -Oof. Getting colder. -I know! 28 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,532 I could feel it. You know, it was wrong. 29 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,159 I'm just... I'm in my head now. 30 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,077 [groans] 31 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:21,456 [Jason] Hey, Mikey, I have a question about our plan to save Janet. 32 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,416 Is there it yet? 33 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,876 I do have a plan, yes. 34 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,670 But to be honest, I have no idea if it will work. 35 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:28,963 Maybe Glenn can help. 36 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,425 Yo, Glenn! How should we rescue Janet? 37 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,219 [bubbling] 38 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:35,762 He doesn't know. 39 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,597 Listen, Jason, old friend. 40 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:42,310 I already gave Eleanor and Tahani all their afterlife memories back. 41 00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:45,855 I haven't restored yours... for obvious reasons. 42 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:49,317 But I think to maximize our chances of survival, 43 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,529 it's time that you remember everything we've been through. 44 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,281 Prepare yourself, this might be intense. 45 00:01:56,741 --> 00:02:01,704 Oh... dip! 46 00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:03,248 [Jason panting] 47 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,375 -Do you remember everything? -Yes. 48 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,711 Last time I was in the Bad Place, I threw a Molotov cocktail. 49 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,046 That was sick. 50 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,882 I was afraid that you'd watch 300 years of memories 51 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,008 and that would be your takeaway. 52 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:17,720 Buddy, I did that to help you know what not to do. 53 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,764 Impulse control is critical. 54 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:24,269 Fight the urge to blow stuff up, even if you feel like we're in a jam. 55 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:25,812 Got it? 56 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:30,692 I mean, that's very lame, but, yeah, I understand. 57 00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:33,987 Wait, can I have all my memories back again? 58 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,446 I forgot most of them. 59 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,702 [theme music playing] 60 00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:46,332 Welcome, everyone! 61 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,751 Janet will be unavailable for a bit. 62 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:52,255 She's undergoing some routine system maintenance. 63 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,840 Oh, I know what that means. 64 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,508 Eye lift, maybe an ear tuck. 65 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,510 [Chidi] Mmm. Mmm! Mmm. 66 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,304 When we don't have Janet, 67 00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:02,932 we like to refresh your memories of your old lives, 68 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,684 when you did things for yourselves. 69 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,853 We call it Earth Day! 70 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,897 And, yes, we know that's a thing on Earth, 71 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,648 [scoffs] but what are they gonna do, sue us? 72 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:11,566 [crowd laughs] 73 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:15,361 So, get ready for some fun, lo-fi activities. 74 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:18,448 -This group over here is gonna knit. -[gasps] 75 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:21,409 You folks are gonna do your favorite activity, gardening. 76 00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,410 [cheers] 77 00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:23,953 Oh, man, we better get something better than that. 78 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:28,207 And you five are going to a gorgeous, remote lake house. 79 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,501 Swimming, waterskiing, the works. 80 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,128 [laughs] 81 00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:33,838 Suck it, gardeners. 82 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,423 Why do I feel like that's not the first time 83 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:36,716 he's screamed those words? 84 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:43,473 Ugh. Get me down from here, you tiny butthole. 85 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,390 Ow! 86 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,686 Thank you for keeping me safe from my sexy, bad-girl sister-aunt. 87 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:49,729 Ew. 88 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:54,067 I know that I've caused you a lot of trouble in the past... Classic Derek. 89 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:56,486 But from now on, I'm here to help. 90 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:57,737 I'd feel a lot more confident 91 00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,615 if you weren't holding a champagne glass full of Scrabble letters, 92 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:01,908 but you're all we got. 93 00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:04,494 You can keep the neighborhood running, right? 94 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,413 Well, I wasn't technically designed for this, 95 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:11,417 [chuckles] but to be fair, I wasn't designed for anything. 96 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,587 Okay, we're gonna get the humans far away from the center of town 97 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,089 to help lighten your load. 98 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,006 That would be really great. 99 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,216 -Okay. -Okay. 100 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:19,926 All right, babe, it's go time. You ready? 101 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,346 Absolutely. I feel very confident with you in charge. 102 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:26,182 In the words of my godfather, acting in what can only be described 103 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,476 in hindsight as his most problematic role... 104 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,478 "You the man now, dawg." 105 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,273 As always, thank you for finding the quickest possible way to say things. 106 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:37,527 Now, head off to the lake house, and do your fabulous Tahani hostess thing! 107 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,320 Actually, uh, now that you bring it up, 108 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:43,825 Michael and Jason are rescuing Janet and you're running things here. 109 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,535 Even Derek has an important job. 110 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:48,329 Ah. 111 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,706 I'd like to be more useful. 112 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:52,000 What is it that you Americans say? Uh... 113 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,793 "Insert me, coach man!" 114 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,670 "Put me in, coach." 115 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:59,465 Babe, we need these humans to stay happy and occupied. 116 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,384 All right? So just pump 'em full of champagne, 117 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,803 and those tiny little sandwiches and keep 'em dazzled. 118 00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:05,096 [chuckles] Of course. 119 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:07,598 Though I'd never serve finger sandwiches at a lake house. 120 00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:09,600 I mean, what am I, Welsh? [chuckles] 121 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,353 Are you? I don't know. No, right? 122 00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,483 Okay. We have to move quietly. 123 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,111 We can't be seen by anyone until we get to Shawn. 124 00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:22,071 It's the only way to rescue Janet. 125 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,489 Uh, Michael? 126 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:25,408 I'm scared. 127 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:26,826 Me, too, bud. 128 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:30,872 I mean, what if all this time apart has changed me and Janet's relationship? 129 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:32,915 What if that special connection is gone? 130 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:34,792 Yeah. 131 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:39,797 I mean, for me, it's scary that we're standing in the birthplace of evil, 132 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:43,092 surrounded by billions of demons who wanna destroy us. 133 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,052 Hmm. 134 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,471 I guess we both have things we're scared about. 135 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,224 [Tahani] Hello, all. 136 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,060 I took the liberty of preparing a few simple snacks. 137 00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,645 Ooh! This place is nice. 138 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:58,983 Did anyone else see that movie The Lake House with Keanu and Sandy B? 139 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,069 Ugh, I love a movie with gentle magic. 140 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:04,489 Gimme a time-traveling mailbox, or a mother-daughter body switch, 141 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,741 or, like, Sarah Michelle Gellar as a chef 142 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:09,869 and her food tastes amazing because she cries in it. [chuckles] 143 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,704 I should have been a screenwriter. 144 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,414 Yeah. This'll do, I guess. 145 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,166 I got dibs on the master bedroom. 146 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:18,669 -Um, Simone? Where's Chidi? -He decided to just stay at home and read. 147 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,421 He said swimming in lakes scares him. 148 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,507 To be fair, most things scare him. 149 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,843 Well, never fear. 150 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,471 You all stay and enjoy the full-sized sandwiches. 151 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:31,099 I shall go and fetch Chidi. [chuckles] 152 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,267 Tahani is on the job. 153 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:37,688 Perv 'stache, four eyes... 154 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,357 bee monster. 155 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,525 Whoa! 156 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:41,651 Is that you? 157 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,112 [Michael] Technically, yes. 158 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,739 But it's a version of me I no longer recognize. 159 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:50,618 Behind that handsome smile was so much cruelty, 160 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:55,581 so much pain inflicted on so many, with such glee. 161 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,041 Shameful. 162 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:02,171 What echoes of this former self await me here? 163 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,464 [Jason] I feel you. 164 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,342 It was always hard for me to go back to my old high school. 165 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:07,760 So many memories. 166 00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:11,305 Also, the junkyard machine crushed it into tiny cubes. 167 00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:16,394 If we get out of here alive, remind me to re-erase your teen years. 168 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,025 Come on, guys. Hurry back. 169 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,110 [exhales heavily] 170 00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,112 Oh. Hey, Wanda. Everything okay? 171 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,364 Barg-de-barg-de-barg-de-barg. 172 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,740 Come again? 173 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,702 -Oh. -Barg-de-barg-de-barg-de-barg. 174 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,079 -Derek? -Oh! Hey! 175 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:39,709 So, uh... things are... not going well. 176 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,252 -Hi there! -Hi! 177 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:42,920 [Eleanor] You said you could handle this. 178 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:46,340 Yeah, well, it turns out being a single father to 300 kids 179 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,301 is not that easy, Eleanor. 180 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:51,220 Okay, well, the four humans are still at the lake house, 181 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,972 so we can figure this out. 182 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,683 -What are you doing here? -I came to get Chidi. 183 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:56,684 He decided to stay home. 184 00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,145 Chidi's up there? Right now? 185 00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:02,732 Oh, Chidi, there you are. 186 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:06,777 Hi. Sorry, I should've told you. I decided to just stay home and read. 187 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,780 Swimming in lakes scares me, and so does waterskiing-- 188 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:10,907 We know all that, Chidi. 189 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,826 We never expected you to meet the group at the lake house. 190 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,497 We had a special solo activity planned for you. 191 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,582 -Really? What is it? -Mmm-hmm. 192 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:25,880 We have hidden several clues in this apartment to a puzzle. 193 00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:27,215 Ooh! 194 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,841 -[chuckles] -I love puzzles. 195 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,385 They're so much fun, but they're also like homework. Win-win. 196 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,638 Well, this one's a doozy because when you solve it, 197 00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:36,057 you get the answer to the truth about the universe. 198 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:36,974 [chuckles] 199 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,519 Spoiler alert... I guess. 200 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,979 Hey, Tahani, you've been so helpful, 201 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,857 but everyone's back at the lake house with no party hostess, 202 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,776 which is obviously less than ideal. 203 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,277 So, go on, get. 204 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,071 -[chuckles] Of course. -Yeah. 205 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:51,447 -Good luck, Chidi. -Okay. 206 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:53,866 So, what's my first clue? 207 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,285 You've already gotten it. 208 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,413 Ooh! 209 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:01,374 [indistinct chatter] 210 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:03,876 [Shawn] All right, idiots. 211 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:09,215 This is hour 52 of the 4,000-hour presentation on the future of torture. 212 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:12,593 -He's gonna be on stage for 4,000 hours? -[shushes] 213 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,345 Here's what I think. We should throw a Molotov-- 214 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,514 -Jason. -What? I didn't say cocktail. 215 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,516 I could've meant Molotov anything. You don't know. 216 00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:20,184 [Michael] Just trust me. I have a plan. 217 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,311 Humans are worse than ever. We have to innovate. 218 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,355 Sure, poking sticks work great, 219 00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:27,024 but should those sticks be sharper or hotter? 220 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,944 Should they counter-intuitively be less hot? 221 00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:32,697 Let's begin with slide number one of 7,000. 222 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:33,698 [clapping] 223 00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:37,076 Nice speech... not! 224 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,328 What's up, dingus? 225 00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:44,166 Oh, no. Oh, that's not good. 226 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:48,004 Oh, what are you guys... Oh, no. Don't do that. That's not Derek. 227 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,338 -Derek. -[Derek groans] 228 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,965 I'm going back to the lake house to entertain, 229 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,550 because, apparently, that's all I'm good for. 230 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,552 -Okay. -I'm gonna need some party supplies. 231 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:57,555 Cocktail napkins with a cute, lake-related slogan. 232 00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,932 Maybe they could say "better lake than never." 233 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:03,185 Oh, sorry, I've just got nothing left in the tank. 234 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,273 Derek, when you get rebooted, you become more advanced right? 235 00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:08,316 Yeah. 236 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,568 Well, perhaps then you'd be more capable of controlling the neighborhood. 237 00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:11,485 Hey, yeah, yeah. 238 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:14,322 You said you wanted to make this up to us. Well, now is your chance. 239 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,489 -Yes. -Yes. 240 00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:16,407 Derek. 241 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,327 What are you doing here, Vicky? You're early. 242 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,537 And do you ever take that suit off? It smells terrible. 243 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,663 It does? 244 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:23,581 No need to be alarmed. 245 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:26,542 I know this might look like Michael, the traitorous slam-pig. 246 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,919 However, this is actually our very own Vicky, 247 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,921 wearing the latest in demon technology: 248 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,341 A custom-made, look-alike skinsuit! 249 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,176 -Spin around for us, would ya, hon? -[exclaims] 250 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,472 As you are all aware, our current system suffers from diminishing returns. 251 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,850 Sure, the first time someone gets butthole spiders, he's miserable. 252 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:46,520 But soon, the humans get used to it, and worse, the spiders get bored. 253 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:50,483 These personalized skinsuits represent the dawn of a new era: 254 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,485 Torture 2.0. 255 00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,570 -[Michael] Oh! [laughs] -[crowd cheers] 256 00:10:54,654 --> 00:11:00,951 And speaking of which, I figured Demon Con would be the best place to surprise you 257 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,079 with my greatest invention. 258 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:05,289 Come on out... Jason. 259 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,582 [crowd gasps] 260 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:08,918 [crowd cheers] 261 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,337 I had the boys down in R&D make a Jason suit. 262 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:13,547 Thought it'd be a fun, new way to torture Janet. 263 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,841 -Come on. Come on. Here you go. -I didn't okay this. 264 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,219 I know, but, hey, I'm Vicky! 265 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:19,345 I'm a total munch. 266 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,055 That you are. Good point. 267 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,307 Hmm. Not bad. 268 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,102 They went a little overboard on the cheekbones, but still. 269 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,104 Wait, who's in there? 270 00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,564 -Glenn. -Makes sense. 271 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:31,857 Get an idiot to play an idiot. 272 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,901 I was beginning to wonder where you were, Glenn. 273 00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:36,070 I'm right here... in Jason. 274 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,906 -Definitely not a big bucket of goo. -[Michael clears throat] Okay. 275 00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:42,868 Say, boss, what do you say we put these innovative suits of yours to work? 276 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:46,580 We'll go torture Good Janet and let you know how it goes. 277 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:47,998 -Which way is it again? -Wait. 278 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,458 I have a better idea. 279 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:54,088 I say we torture Good Janet, right here, right now, live on stage. 280 00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:56,340 -Rufus, go get the Good Janet. -[crowd cheers] 281 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,884 [whispering] This part of your plan seems risky. 282 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,428 This was not part of my plan. 283 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:03,139 Oh. Thank God, I thought you had a bad plan! 284 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:09,770 Okay, it's easy. Just hit the button. You've seen Mindy do it a million times. 285 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,480 Yeah, here we go. 286 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,067 [sobbing] No, no, no, don't kill me, me. 287 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,360 Don't do it. 288 00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,820 [groans] Huh. 289 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,406 Now, why is that so hard? I kinda... 290 00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,366 You know what? I see what I gotta do. 291 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,076 Just kinda look at this... 292 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,203 [screaming] Derek! 293 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:32,626 Excellent. 294 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:38,048 -[Eleanor] Dude, what were you thinking? -[Tahani] I just wanted to be useful. 295 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,217 All I ever get to do here is throw parties, 296 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,011 which is all I ever got to do back on Earth 297 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,471 and now I've ruined everything. 298 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:46,098 No, you gave us a way out. 299 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,224 So, I fixed everything. 300 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:50,644 No, you've made things difficult in a new way, but I can make it work. 301 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,521 But the important thing is I did something. 302 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,565 -Be quiet and follow my lead. -Yes, ma'am. 303 00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:56,358 [Eleanor] Chidi? Come on out, bud. 304 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,402 Okay. Am I close? 305 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,780 No, there's 4,000 clues in here. You found five. 306 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:02,698 I'm just gonna skip to the end. 307 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:08,037 This puzzle was going to take you on adventures all over the neighborhood. 308 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,122 Horseback riding, hot air ballooning and... 309 00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:14,335 I asked Tahani to be involved because she did all of those things on Earth. 310 00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,253 You've been in paradise for a month, 311 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:19,006 and you're still so reluctant to try new activities. 312 00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:22,885 Yeah, I know, I'm just not a new-experience kind of guy. 313 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:27,139 I mean, my comfort zone is basically... that chair. 314 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,184 And, honestly, the arms are a little sharp. 315 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,896 I want you to believe that you're safe here. 316 00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:36,273 That you can trust me. 317 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:38,984 Do you trust me, Chidi? 318 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,238 Yes. I really do. 319 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:43,906 Then come with me. 320 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,993 These personalized skinsuits are a true game-changer. 321 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:51,747 Imagine being able to torment a human not as yourself, 322 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:55,084 but as their wife, or ex-wife, or just some mouthy broad. 323 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:59,129 They are so convincing, they even work on a Good Janet! 324 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,006 [Janet grunts] Jeez! 325 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:05,302 Ugh. Great, more Vicky. 326 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:08,764 Hey, your Michael impression stinks almost as much as your suit. [scoffs] 327 00:14:08,847 --> 00:14:10,474 -Why does everyone keep saying that? -Pfft. Oof. 328 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:13,394 Welcome, Janet. We have a special guest for you today. 329 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:14,520 [sighs] 330 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:19,358 Hi, Janet. It's me, Jason. Your boyfriend. 331 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,485 I really miss you. 332 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:27,408 I know we were in a fight before, but I hope you've forgiven me because... 333 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,452 I love you... girl. 334 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,288 Not a girl. 335 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,707 -Well, Janet? -Yeah. 336 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,250 How's that make you feel? 337 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:38,794 Terrible. [fake crying] 338 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:39,837 [Michael chuckles] 339 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,340 Adequate work, Glenn. 340 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,426 -Rufus, take the Janet back to her cell. -[Janet] No, no, no. 341 00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:48,846 No, please, uh, let us take Janet back ourselves. 342 00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:51,974 I wanna get a little extra torture time in on the way there. 343 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,392 I don't see why not. 344 00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:54,351 [Vicky as Michael] Hello, dummies. 345 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,021 -It's me, Michael. -[crowd gasps] 346 00:14:57,104 --> 00:15:00,316 I'm just kidding. It's me, Vicky, in a Michael suit. 347 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,233 [chuckles] 348 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,444 What's going on here? 349 00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:06,030 I was never told that I had an understudy. 350 00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,784 [Eleanor] There you go, buddy. You're doing great. 351 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,161 Where are we going? 352 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,914 Um... Somewhere fun. Just follow my voice. 353 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:18,876 Ooh! 354 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,588 This is, uh... kinda fun. 355 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,300 I'm very scared, but also... I like it? 356 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,178 -Hi, there. -Hi, whoever you are. 357 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,721 Don't mind us. We're just doing a trust thing. 358 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,348 Hi, there. 359 00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:34,683 What was that sound? 360 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,226 A unicorn died. 361 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,645 -What? -No. 362 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,229 [stammering] Not a unicorn, my mistake. 363 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:42,566 Just a regular horse that someone stabbed in the head. 364 00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:43,984 What? 365 00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:44,944 [Eleanor grunts] 366 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:48,530 What in the name of Kevin Spacey's self-made Christmas Eve video message 367 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,783 to try to get back on House of Cards is going on here? 368 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:51,909 -[whispering] Mike. -[Shawn] Who are you? 369 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,035 [Vicky as Michael] Who am I? 370 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,745 -[Shawn] Who are you? -You had this the whole time? 371 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:57,081 Yeah. I wanted to explode a bunch of demons, 372 00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:59,208 but you told me I should wait, so I did. 373 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:02,294 Vicky, why did you build a second Michael suit? 374 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,047 He didn't. No, I mean, I didn't. 375 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,966 [stammers] Oh. Look... 376 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,885 [crowd gasps and exclaims] 377 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,471 It can't be. 378 00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:14,848 Yes, it's true. 379 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:17,226 It's me, the real Michael. 380 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:20,604 We know all about your plot to sabotage our experiment. 381 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,774 We know you brought Chris in to pretend to be Linda 382 00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:26,819 to distract us while you planted a Bad Janet 383 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,821 to pretend to be a Good Janet. 384 00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,740 No, stop clapping. This is real. 385 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:32,950 Someone capture them. 386 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,827 Rufus, I'm warning you. 387 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,787 I know we go way back. We used to be roommates. 388 00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:41,208 But if you take another step, I will use this demon exploder on you. 389 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,168 A "demon exploder"? Come on, man. 390 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,212 At least try to make that sound convincing. 391 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:46,797 [crowd gasps] 392 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,215 Wow. 393 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:50,259 Touché. 394 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,262 I used to be just like all of you. 395 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:57,808 I sat right where you're sitting, at more than 10,000 Demon Cons, 396 00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:00,019 and I believed that we committed torture 397 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:03,230 as a part of the moral balance of the universe. 398 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,315 But I've learned that's wrong. 399 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:08,944 Humans are capable of self-improvement, and so are we. 400 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:12,239 And down deep, Shawn knows this is true, too. 401 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:16,368 I beg you, open your eyes to the truth. 402 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,203 [slow clapping] 403 00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:22,124 Bravo, Michael. 404 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,793 What a monologue... not! 405 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:25,794 [crowd laughs] 406 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,173 I'm not scared of you. 407 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:33,093 Because I've gone there, Michael. I've become you. 408 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:37,848 You may act like you've changed, but deep down, you're still a demon. 409 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:42,144 Vile, ugly, capable of so much darkness. 410 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,103 And now... 411 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:45,522 you're home. 412 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:46,857 [crowd gasps] 413 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,025 Oh, come on! 414 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,570 -[Michael] Let's go. Come on. -Let's go. 415 00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:55,074 [Shawn] No, you morons. Stop applauding them. They're getting away. 416 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:59,369 I swear, the production value at Demon Con gets better every year. 417 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,248 Man, look at this house. 418 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,876 And that beautiful lake. I can't believe I almost missed all this. 419 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,129 Is this the answer to the truth about the universe? 420 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,423 -Well-- -Uh... Part of it. 421 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,050 Oh! 422 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,885 The puzzle continues. 423 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,471 Hey, you decided to come after all. 424 00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:18,972 I did. 425 00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,600 Thanks to Eleanor and Tahani. 426 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,644 [Simone] Aw! You two are the best. 427 00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:25,020 Well, that was insane. 428 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,148 But we got through it... together. 429 00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,317 No, we didn't. 430 00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:31,985 You got through it. 431 00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:34,696 I almost ruined it a hundred times. 432 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,866 From now on, I'm just gonna stick to throwing parties, 433 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,451 because it's the only thing I'm good at. 434 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:40,744 [scoffs and fake sobs] 435 00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,498 -Hey. -What? 436 00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:47,459 When I said "throw a party," I didn't mean a pity party. 437 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:50,337 This isn't a pity party. I'm genuinely sad. 438 00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:53,257 The only thing I can do is throw pointless parties. 439 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:55,884 You run the entire neighborhood. You're so capable. 440 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:59,513 I have seen you get stuck in any manner of crazy situation, 441 00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:01,431 and you always figure a way out. 442 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:05,602 Yeah, man, because I've had to scrape and claw my way through life, 443 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:10,190 and you grew up in a castle full of diamond lamps and golden pillowcases. 444 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,942 You never learned how to think on your feet. 445 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:14,194 Look, if the roles were reversed, 446 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:18,031 and I had to throw a fancy party to save all of humanity, 447 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,408 I promise we'd be screwed, 448 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:24,371 because I wouldn't know what salad fork to put next to the... whatever spoon. 449 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:28,584 The whatever spoon is really only used for certain festive jellies. 450 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:29,585 See? 451 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,462 Babe, the dodos in that house 452 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:37,176 are literally the four most important human beings in the universe. 453 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,887 I wanted you to take care of them because I trust you. 454 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,722 Plus, your parties aren't pointless. 455 00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:44,766 They're opportunities for them to bond and form friendships. 456 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:50,314 You know, the thing we need them to do so we're not all tortured forever? 457 00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:52,191 You're right. 458 00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:54,276 And thank you. 459 00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:56,486 But if we ever get through this, 460 00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:59,489 I want to learn how to do something meaningful. 461 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:03,076 A real skill. Something helpful and fulfilling. 462 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,287 Okay, man, if we survive this, 463 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:08,415 I promise I will support you while you... 464 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,501 -learn to weld or whatever, deal? -[chuckles] 465 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:13,420 Deal. 466 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:18,800 [fires] 467 00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:21,220 That oughta stop them from following us. 468 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,387 So smart. 469 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,097 Nice to have you back, Janet. 470 00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:27,476 That must have been hard for you... to go back there. 471 00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:29,811 It was. 472 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:33,732 I don't like thinking about who I used to be. 473 00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:34,691 [Jason] Listen, Michael, 474 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:40,530 it's okay to feel or plead guilty about bad things you used to do, 475 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,991 but you don't have to feel shame about who you were, 476 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,494 because you're not a demon anymore. 477 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:48,205 You're just like a nice, weird, happy old dude. 478 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,290 Huh. [chuckles] 479 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,251 Thanks for rescuing me. 480 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,002 I missed you so much. 481 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,128 I missed you, too. 482 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,797 Bad Janet was so mean to me. 483 00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:00,926 She told me so many lies. She said the Jags cut Blake Bortles. 484 00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:01,927 Can you believe that? 485 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:02,844 Oh, no. 486 00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:04,805 Jason, that wasn't a lie. 487 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,641 Blake Bortles was cut by the Jaguars. 488 00:21:07,724 --> 00:21:09,351 What? How? Why? 489 00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:11,478 Who's their QB now? 490 00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:13,021 A man named Nick Foles. 491 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,982 Nick Foles? Are you kidding me? 492 00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:20,153 He won a Super Bowl! We're gonna be unstoppable! 493 00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:21,822 Foles! 494 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:25,742 -Foles! [chuckles] -Foles! 495 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:28,161 [Janet] Oh, no. Nick Foles just broke his clavicle. 496 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:30,205 [Jason] No!