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Ha-ha!
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No way!
3
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Er...
Gosh!
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Where's the hole?
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Ah!
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Are you having a laugh?
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Oh! Oh!
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This program me contains strong
language and adult humour
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Hello, welcome.
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00:00:34,388 --> 00:00:37,004
It's Taskmaster, it's episode eight.
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I'm Greg Davies — sweet, sweet eye
candy for your mum and your auntie.
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Five funny clowns have been battling
it out over several episodes now.
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Some have proved themselves
surprisingly resourceful,
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others have made their families
worry about
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whether they're looking
after themselves.
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One and one alone will lift
a papier-mache trophy
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into the air and shout, "This?!
I went through all that for this?!"
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Let us meet the jesters on
the battlefield of the absurd.
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They are Ardal O'Hanlon...
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Bridget Christie...
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Chris Ramsey...
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judi Love...
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and Sophie Duker.
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And next to me, a man who cries
every time he watches Free Willy
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and who frees his willy every time
he cries.
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It's little Alex Horne.
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Hello, Greg. Hello, everybody.
Nice to be here.
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All right? Yes, I've got new shoes.
Feeling confident. You like them?
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Well, they're better than your
usual plastic slip-ons, I suppose.
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Yeah. They're very nice.
They're quite tall.
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They're quite tall.
Where do you think they end, Greg?
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Where do you think they end?
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I just...
I've made you little windows.
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I've just seen those. Yes.
Do you think they come up to,
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to my shin, Greg? Do you want to
open the window?
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I thought you'd like this.
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Yeah, the, the shoes are still
going. Yeah.
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Do you want to look at the knee?
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Yeah. See if they're still...
They can't be still going.
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They're still going.
OK. Oh, they can't be up the thigh.
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Do you want to have
a little look, Greg?
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Yeah, yeah, you're wearing
thigh-high boots, Alex.
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Let's get on
with the show, shall we?
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Yes, here we go,
it's Prize Task time and,
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this Prize Task time,
they've all brought in
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the loveliest thing
to hold above your head.
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Ooh.
Greg will give five points
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for the thing that he thinks is
the loveliest to hold
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above your head, and then tonight's
winner will take home
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five things that are lovely
to hold above your head. That's it.
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Sophie Duker,
what have you brought in, please?
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I've brought a teeny, tiny trophy.
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Here it is.
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Er, this is it compared to
a mighty trophy.
55
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There we go.
It is a teeny, tiny trophy.
56
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Now, that sort of endears me
to it a little bit.
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Yeah. It's a teeny, tiny trophy
that I won
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the very first time I did stand-up
in a stand-up competition.
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And they bulk-bought teeny,
tiny trophies.
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They gave it to anyone who believed
in herself enough
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to get up on the stage
and do two minutes
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of teeny, tiny,
trophy-worthy material.
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That is quite cute.
And that's what I did. Yeah.
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And it got an "ah"
from the audience.
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Yeah. Which is very clever.
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Chris, something meaningful
to hold above your head?
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Yes. Now, we all know the best thing
to hold above your head
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is your hands.
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You can wave them in the air like
you just don't care.
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Yeah? This is worse than teeny,
tiny trophy.
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I've brought in
the un—untuckable shirt.
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Here it is, the un-un-tuckable
shirt.
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Oh!
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I was not expecting to get turned on
this early in the show.
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But that. The shirt...
That is horrendous.
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The shirt is sewn directly
onto your underpants
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and it is impossible to untuck.
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The self-confidence I would feel
would be lovely,
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knowing that my big belly's not
going to fall out,
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followed by my awful genitals.
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I feel like you're tucking in
too far into the wrong bit.
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OK, it might not be lovely,
but it is,
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it is very practical
and does genuinely appeal to me.
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Ah, Judi.
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I went for a lovely fan.
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Yes, Judi's brought in a fan.
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There it is.
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Yep. I mean the obvious thing
to do with that is
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to hold it aloft above one's head.
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Well, it's when you get... Look,
you know how hot you get
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cos you're hot, right?
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Imagine if, in the most hottest time
of your life,
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you could just stand there... I'd
think, "Ooh, I could do with a fan."
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"Over my head." But, oh,
I'm holding it above my own head?
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Yeah, you know that moment when you
walk in and the air con hits you?
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You hold that fan too high,
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you are going to untuck your shirt,
and it's going to be terrible.
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Do you know what would
go well with that?
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One point.
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00:05:16,353 --> 00:05:20,768
Ardal, only you can,
er, help Judi out.
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00:05:20,793 --> 00:05:25,658
The loveliest thing to hold above
your head is a table tennis bat.
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You are back in the game.
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He has brought that in,
and there it is.
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It's a table tennis paddle or bat.
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Well, it's a,
a great way of making friends.
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Like, let's say you're at
a railway station.
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OK. And you hold the table
tennis bat above your head,
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you will quickly attract followers.
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They will think that you're some
sort of a tour guide
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and they will join in,
and you can bring them places,
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and you can certainly get to
the front of the queue at,
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at a museum.
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Thanks, Ardal.
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Bridget. Oh! I have brought in
a handmade,
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lace parasol that was made by a
neighbour for her child.
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When her child was young,
she accidentally,
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they went to the beach
and it burnt a bit.
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It?
The, the child.
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It?
She hadn't put the... Shush!
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Sunblock and stuff on,
so she made a parasol
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for the child when it was younger,
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and then, when I had my children,
she said,
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"Would you like this for yours?"
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Here is the vintage
parasol. Beautiful.
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Oh. Ooh. Lovely.
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Ooh, it is nice.
It's lovely, isn't it?
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You could spin that behind you
as well.
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Yeah, but when you're walking round
with that parasol above your head,
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like, do hundreds
of tourists follow you?
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So, it's pretty straightforward,
as far as I'm concerned.
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Ardal can thank me for one point
for his bat.
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One. Two points for a fan that helps
no—one
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is the most generous thing
I've ever done.
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Er, just because it doesn't really
go fully above your head,
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but I do so admire and want it,
I'll give three points to
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the pant/shirt combination.
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Mr Chris Ramsey.
And then there will be a jump up
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because of the emotional content...
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they've got to take five
points each.
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OK, so it's five points
to Sophie and Bridget.
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Yeah!
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I'd like the first task, please.
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Certainly, and we're going global
with this one,
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because it's time
to find out who's the best E test.
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In you pop, Ardal.
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Yes, thank you.
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00:07:52,715 --> 00:07:55,020
Hello?
Hello.
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00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:56,970
Oh, no!
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00:07:56,995 --> 00:07:59,259
Swedish.
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00:07:59,284 --> 00:08:03,020
Learn Swedish. Oh, shitting hell!
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00:08:03,045 --> 00:08:05,770
"You'll have a five—minute
conversation with a Swedish person
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00:08:05,795 --> 00:08:07,570
"in 15 minutes from now."
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"The phrase book and tablet must
remain in the caravan."
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Best demonstration of
the Swedish language wins.
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Your time starts when you first
said "Swedish."
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What? So it already started?
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00:08:21,845 --> 00:08:23,129
Yeah.
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00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:30,570
Pretty straightforward.
Mm-hm.
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00:08:30,595 --> 00:08:32,929
Learn a language. Yes.
How long did they have?
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00:08:32,954 --> 00:08:35,299
15 minutes, but it is a category-one
language, Swedish.
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00:08:35,324 --> 00:08:37,660
It's as easy as French or Spanish
to English speakers.
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00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:40,620
Oh, thank you. Well, move over,
Punch and Judy and make way for
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00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:43,330
Judi and Chris. Here we go.
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00:08:43,355 --> 00:08:45,620
Tack's got to be thank you.
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Ooh!
166
00:08:46,595 --> 00:08:49,290
Tack. Tank. Tank.
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00:08:49,315 --> 00:08:50,490
Tank.
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Adjo, goodbye.
169
00:08:52,435 --> 00:08:54,049
Boom!
170
00:08:54,074 --> 00:08:55,620
Ne} Ne.
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00:08:55,645 --> 00:08:57,179
Nej-Nell-.
172
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,900
Nej. Nej.
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00:08:58,925 --> 00:09:00,460
Five out of six.
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00:09:00,485 --> 00:09:03,020
If he says them words, I'm laughing
me head off.
175
00:09:03,045 --> 00:09:04,820
Ar? Ar.
176
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,620
Ar, at, at.
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Oh, oh, yeah, at. Eh'?
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00:09:09,404 --> 00:09:10,820
Sorry?
179
00:09:10,845 --> 00:09:13,210
Please come and talk to
a Swedish person. Oh, man.
180
00:09:13,235 --> 00:09:15,540
Judi, we have to go
and talk to a Swedish person now.
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00:09:15,565 --> 00:09:16,566
OK.
182
00:09:23,405 --> 00:09:25,741
Oh! I was wondering how he
wouldn't be here.
183
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,211
OK.
I'm good with iPads.
184
00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:31,180
OK, Judi, your five minutes
starts now.
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00:09:31,205 --> 00:09:32,260
Heja.
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00:09:32,285 --> 00:09:33,541
Hey.
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00:09:35,796 --> 00:09:37,411
Er...
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00:09:37,436 --> 00:09:38,651
He's-.
189
00:09:42,726 --> 00:09:45,130
I've, I've forgot it all.
190
00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:47,411
Ven samale England.
191
00:09:49,205 --> 00:09:51,651
Ven samale England.
192
00:09:51,676 --> 00:09:53,101
Mm...
193
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,930
Hungrig? Erm...
194
00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:58,571
Oh, er...
195
00:09:58,596 --> 00:10:00,621
Ute Ho“.
196
00:10:00,646 --> 00:10:01,701
Yea h, lite trott.
197
00:10:10,366 --> 00:10:12,101
Hej, Judi.
198
00:10:15,676 --> 00:10:16,901
Is he still there?
199
00:10:16,926 --> 00:10:18,701
Yes, he's still there, Chris.
200
00:10:18,726 --> 00:10:20,981
God, er...
201
00:10:21,006 --> 00:10:22,901
Mar, mot, morgon.
202
00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,371
God morgon?
203
00:10:26,796 --> 00:10:28,701
Football!
204
00:10:28,726 --> 00:10:29,851
Don't like it.
205
00:10:29,876 --> 00:10:31,821
He'; da.
206
00:10:31,846 --> 00:10:32,901
He'; da.
207
00:10:32,926 --> 00:10:33,981
Super.
208
00:10:34,006 --> 00:10:35,291
You too-per super.
209
00:10:38,236 --> 00:10:40,180
Hungrig.
Oh, OK.
210
00:10:40,205 --> 00:10:41,701
Hungrig.
Tack.
211
00:10:41,726 --> 00:10:43,982
[He], he], ba-gej-hej. Wey—hey.
212
00:10:45,847 --> 00:10:47,292
So embarrassing!
213
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:56,782
You lost, you lost confidence for a
few key phrases, I thought.
214
00:10:56,807 --> 00:11:00,141
Well, look, you know,
he ended up saying "super" to me.
215
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:02,852
Yeah, and you replied,
"You too-per super."
216
00:11:09,237 --> 00:11:15,622
Are we 100% sure that Chris
established that he was hungry?
217
00:11:15,647 --> 00:11:17,011
I did ask him a couple of times.
218
00:11:17,036 --> 00:11:19,652
He was, he dodged the question,
actually, which I thought was bad
219
00:11:19,677 --> 00:11:22,572
on his part. I thought "good moron"
was a terrible mistake but, in fact,
220
00:11:22,597 --> 00:11:23,702
it was correct.
221
00:11:23,727 --> 00:11:25,292
It was correct.
That's what I'm saying.
222
00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:26,732
I mean, I...|'ve got to say,
223
00:11:26,757 --> 00:11:28,342
I didn't think it was
a total disaster.
224
00:11:28,367 --> 00:11:30,652
OK. Exactly. I mean, it was no
holding a ping-pong bat
225
00:11:30,677 --> 00:11:32,141
above the head, was it?
226
00:11:32,166 --> 00:11:33,732
Er, let's go, who's next?
227
00:11:33,757 --> 00:11:36,702
OK, yes, by genuinely popular
demand, Fred's back,
228
00:11:36,727 --> 00:11:41,061
and next to speed-learn
Swedish are Ardal and Sophie.
229
00:11:41,086 --> 00:11:42,982
Ja leder efter stromming.
230
00:11:44,847 --> 00:11:46,782
Thank you.
Tack.
231
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,181
Tack. Great. Tack.
232
00:11:48,206 --> 00:11:49,261
Tack, tack. Tack.
233
00:11:49,286 --> 00:11:50,982
I want to be cool. La get.
234
00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:54,462
Hej, la get. What's up?
235
00:11:54,487 --> 00:11:56,732
Jag ar hung rig.
236
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,261
Her-mer-du.
237
00:11:59,527 --> 00:12:01,862
That's you time up, Sophie.
That's, yes.
238
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,212
Please follow me, Ardal.
OK.
239
00:12:04,237 --> 00:12:08,113
How's your Swedish now?
It's really great.
240
00:12:08,138 --> 00:12:10,543
Ardal, you've got five minutes,
your time starts now.
241
00:12:10,568 --> 00:12:12,062
OK.
242
00:12:12,087 --> 00:12:13,903
Hex'.!
243
00:12:13,928 --> 00:12:15,653
Valkommen...
244
00:12:15,678 --> 00:12:18,293
till Taskmaster.
245
00:12:19,398 --> 00:12:20,703
Vad heter du?
246
00:12:20,728 --> 00:12:22,373
Pg hater Fred.
247
00:12:22,398 --> 00:12:26,142
Hej, Fred. jag, jag heter Sven.
248
00:12:29,167 --> 00:12:32,733
Jag ar gravid.
249
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,863
Cool, cool.
250
00:12:36,888 --> 00:12:41,223
Fred, Fred, Fred.
Fred, jag ar hung rig.
251
00:12:41,248 --> 00:12:42,293
OK.
252
00:12:42,318 --> 00:12:45,932
Jag, jag leter efter stromming.
253
00:12:45,957 --> 00:12:47,373
Stromming?
254
00:12:47,398 --> 00:12:50,373
Stromming. Ar du stromming?
255
00:12:51,608 --> 00:12:52,733
Ar du stromming?
256
00:12:52,758 --> 00:12:55,012
Nej stromming?
257
00:12:55,037 --> 00:12:56,543
Oh...
258
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,543
Ah...
259
00:12:58,568 --> 00:13:00,833
Vil du ha...
260
00:13:02,398 --> 00:13:03,733
Hmm?
261
00:13:03,758 --> 00:13:05,983
Erm, McDonald's?
262
00:13:10,928 --> 00:13:12,012
OK.
263
00:13:12,037 --> 00:13:14,342
Fred. Fred, Fred, Fred...
264
00:13:39,372 --> 00:13:40,372
Adjo.
265
00:13:42,372 --> 00:13:43,677
Thank you, Sophie.
266
00:13:52,702 --> 00:13:56,477
Erm, the song. Yeah. I mean,
where the hell did that come from?
267
00:13:56,502 --> 00:14:00,067
I was in Sweden once, and I was
outside a railway station
268
00:14:00,092 --> 00:14:01,707
with a table tennis bat...
269
00:14:03,502 --> 00:14:04,757
and...
270
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:09,916
I, er, met some people who worked
in the Volvo factory,
271
00:14:09,941 --> 00:14:13,557
and we ended up going out
to a pub and,
272
00:14:13,582 --> 00:14:17,036
er, by the end of the night, we were
singing Swedish drinking songs.
273
00:14:17,061 --> 00:14:18,116
So...
274
00:14:19,702 --> 00:14:21,957
as it turned out,
I could speak Swedish all along.
275
00:14:26,811 --> 00:14:29,477
Let's not overshadow Sophie's
superb attempt.
276
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:31,957
I think you may've gone in quite
hard by announcing
277
00:14:31,982 --> 00:14:33,197
you were pregnant.
278
00:14:33,222 --> 00:14:35,996
Yeah, I think he was really, er,
279
00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:39,507
reluctant to take accountability
for that.
280
00:14:39,532 --> 00:14:41,887
And, at the back of
the phrase book,
281
00:14:41,912 --> 00:14:44,757
it was useful things to say
if you find yourself in Sweden.
282
00:14:44,782 --> 00:14:47,197
Yeah, "|'m pregnant."
Yes.
283
00:14:47,222 --> 00:14:50,246
But your pronunciation was, erm,
pretty good.
284
00:14:50,271 --> 00:14:53,527
I just think you, you formed a bad
relationship with him.
285
00:14:53,552 --> 00:14:55,866
Well, he wasn't forming good
relationships with anyone.
286
00:14:55,891 --> 00:14:58,527
He was stuck up, man.
287
00:14:58,552 --> 00:15:00,278
He kept trying
to tell me about football,
288
00:15:00,303 --> 00:15:02,838
wouldn't tell us if he was hungry or
not. He was a horrible man.
289
00:15:02,863 --> 00:15:04,198
That's what I'm saying.
290
00:15:04,223 --> 00:15:05,638
Er, guess what? It's break time.
291
00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:07,997
You know the drill —
You make yourselves a cuppa,
292
00:15:08,022 --> 00:15:10,917
I'll put Alex in a choke hold
and we'll meet back here shortly.
293
00:15:10,942 --> 00:15:12,508
See you in a bit.
294
00:15:21,263 --> 00:15:23,078
Hello! Welcome back
to Taskmaster,
295
00:15:23,103 --> 00:15:26,127
where we're in the middle of a
language-learning task.
296
00:15:26,152 --> 00:15:28,797
Yes, we are,
and Swedish Fred is back.
297
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:33,127
Our competitors have been trying
to cram before performing
298
00:15:33,152 --> 00:15:35,438
the best demonstration of
the Swedish language
299
00:15:35,463 --> 00:15:36,718
via a conversation with him.
300
00:15:36,743 --> 00:15:40,318
Finally, it's everyone's favourite
period drama comedian,
301
00:15:40,343 --> 00:15:41,997
it's Bridger ton Christie.
302
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,078
Hang on a sec.
You OK, Bridget?
303
00:15:49,103 --> 00:15:50,638
Yeah, I'm just ringing my brother.
304
00:15:50,663 --> 00:15:52,358
Are you now?
305
00:15:52,383 --> 00:15:53,848
Hey, Jim.
All right?
306
00:15:53,873 --> 00:15:55,518
I'm sorry to ring you
out of the blue.
307
00:15:55,543 --> 00:15:57,997
I've got to talk to
a Swedish person.
308
00:15:58,022 --> 00:15:59,848
Would you help me?
309
00:15:59,873 --> 00:16:02,588
Absolutely. Thanks. I'm in Sweden
now, so no problem.
310
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,947
What shall I say?
Er...
311
00:16:04,972 --> 00:16:06,738
Has there been any things
happening there?
312
00:16:06,763 --> 00:16:08,017
You can just say...
313
00:16:10,083 --> 00:16:13,228
Wha he de sen ahon na mi nenen.
314
00:16:23,813 --> 00:16:26,739
Oh! What was that then, Jim?
315
00:16:26,764 --> 00:16:29,589
Well, you asked him, "What's
happening with the Prime Minister?"
316
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:33,948
Er, because he's got a lack of
confidence vote against him today.
317
00:16:33,973 --> 00:16:35,059
Oh! Erm...
318
00:16:35,084 --> 00:16:37,869
So it's a very, very topical
question you put there, Bridge.
319
00:16:37,894 --> 00:16:40,419
Well done.
What do you think I should ask next?
320
00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:45,898
Is that a question or is it
a statement?
321
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,179
It's a question, yeah. Oh.
322
00:16:50,644 --> 00:16:52,948
He said... That's definitely the
question to ask.
323
00:16:52,973 --> 00:16:54,589
He said, "I've got no idea."
324
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,259
Shall we make it a bit lighter?
325
00:16:56,284 --> 00:16:57,309
You could say...
326
00:17:03,973 --> 00:17:06,259
He said, "Thanks very much and the
same to you."
327
00:17:06,284 --> 00:17:07,948
Tack. Adjo.
328
00:17:07,973 --> 00:17:09,309
Adjo. Tack.
329
00:17:09,334 --> 00:17:11,698
Oh, bye-bye. Jimmy,
thank you so much.
330
00:17:20,124 --> 00:17:21,339
Do you think it's fair?
331
00:17:21,364 --> 00:17:23,698
Let's get this debate out of
the way with.
332
00:17:23,723 --> 00:17:26,028
The actual wording is
"Best demonstration of the Swedish
333
00:17:26,053 --> 00:17:27,229
"language wins."
334
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:29,539
And I guess she did demonstrate
the Swedish language.
335
00:17:29,564 --> 00:17:31,028
It just wasn't from her mouth.
336
00:17:31,053 --> 00:17:33,339
I thought it was quite
a clever thing to do,
337
00:17:33,364 --> 00:17:34,419
bringing your brother in.
338
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,779
Well, it's quite clever to have
a brother who lives in Sweden
339
00:17:36,803 --> 00:17:39,669
and has lived there.
And he's never available.
340
00:17:39,694 --> 00:17:41,979
Shall we deal with
the lower-ranking numbers?
341
00:17:42,004 --> 00:17:43,260
Yes, I think that's a good idea.
342
00:17:43,284 --> 00:17:44,898
Right.
343
00:17:44,923 --> 00:17:46,339
Hi, guys.
344
00:17:46,364 --> 00:17:48,259
Are you hungfY?
345
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:51,870
Cos I've got a delicious point
for you. One point to Chris.
346
00:17:51,895 --> 00:17:53,260
Yes. Now, the second between...
347
00:17:53,285 --> 00:17:54,390
Hi, guys.
348
00:17:56,365 --> 00:17:59,310
It's, it's much easier this
way, isn't it, Greg?
349
00:17:59,335 --> 00:18:01,029
This is much easier
than I thought.
350
00:18:01,054 --> 00:18:02,860
Here's your delicious two points.
351
00:18:02,885 --> 00:18:04,860
Thank you.
Hungrig. Hungrig.
352
00:18:04,885 --> 00:18:08,180
I actually thought that Sophie was,
had a great deal of potential
353
00:18:08,205 --> 00:18:11,230
until she got bogged down into
a pregnancy narrative.
354
00:18:11,255 --> 00:18:13,540
Right, so three to Sophie.
Three points.
355
00:18:13,565 --> 00:18:15,310
So it's between the folk singer.
356
00:18:15,335 --> 00:18:16,620
Erm, Ardal takes it.
357
00:18:16,645 --> 00:18:17,860
OK. Yeah.
358
00:18:17,885 --> 00:18:20,140
So, four to Bridget
and five to Ardal O'Hanlon.
359
00:18:23,005 --> 00:18:24,750
Can I have the series scores?
360
00:18:24,775 --> 00:18:27,510
Yeah, OK. Well, it's interesting.
361
00:18:27,535 --> 00:18:30,230
Judi's at the bottom with 106,
362
00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:33,500
Ardal's gone up a bit to 112,
and then it gets tight.
363
00:18:33,525 --> 00:18:35,949
Chris is now in third place on 120,
364
00:18:35,974 --> 00:18:39,029
Bridget 121, Sophie 127.
365
00:18:39,054 --> 00:18:42,899
Ooh! Six points between the top two.
366
00:18:42,924 --> 00:18:46,590
And in this episode, Judi on four,
Chris on four but, at the top,
367
00:18:46,615 --> 00:18:48,230
it's Bridget with nine points.
368
00:18:55,054 --> 00:18:57,470
And what have you got
for me now, my hairy chum?
369
00:18:57,495 --> 00:19:01,500
Hello, it's your absolute favourite,
it's a really disgusting task.
370
00:19:01,525 --> 00:19:02,590
Mm!
371
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,621
La—la—la—la—la—la—lab!
372
00:19:17,646 --> 00:19:20,111
Back in the lab.
Here we are.
373
00:19:20,136 --> 00:19:21,981
Aye — aye-aye, aye, —aye—aye.
374
00:19:22,006 --> 00:19:24,780
I like this.
Yeah, well, they match your outfit.
375
00:19:24,805 --> 00:19:25,981
Yeah.
376
00:19:26,006 --> 00:19:27,111
Do you like everything?
377
00:19:27,136 --> 00:19:29,391
Well, I,
I don't know what that is yet.
378
00:19:31,925 --> 00:19:34,700
"Stick your tongue out
as far as it will go
379
00:19:34,725 --> 00:19:38,501
"and keep it out until
further notice."
380
00:19:38,526 --> 00:19:40,951
Thank you. OK, I'm going to read you
the next bit of the task.
381
00:19:40,975 --> 00:19:43,621
Oh.
Please, can your tongue stay out?
382
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,471
Right. So, it's got to stay like
that now, Chris. Mm-hm.
383
00:19:49,496 --> 00:19:51,341
I've got an abnormally
short tongue.
384
00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:54,030
Is that really as far as it goes?
385
00:19:54,055 --> 00:19:55,900
Mm! You're discriminating
against me.
386
00:19:55,925 --> 00:19:58,341
I'm not, I'm just commenting on it.
No, you are.
387
00:19:59,646 --> 00:20:02,111
Whoa. A big one.
388
00:20:02,136 --> 00:20:04,391
Ahh.
389
00:20:04,416 --> 00:20:06,261
Every time Alex blows his whistle,
390
00:20:06,286 --> 00:20:09,341
you must lick the lemon,
then the sherbet,
391
00:20:09,366 --> 00:20:10,950
then the ice lolly.
Uh—huh.
392
00:20:10,975 --> 00:20:12,910
Every time Alex honks his horn,
393
00:20:12,935 --> 00:20:14,672
you must hold your tongue in front
of the fan
394
00:20:14,696 --> 00:20:16,030
for five seconds.
395
00:20:16,055 --> 00:20:18,751
The tongue that sticks
out for the longest time wins.
396
00:20:20,696 --> 00:20:22,061
Do you understand the task?
397
00:20:24,526 --> 00:20:26,221
Uh-huh.
398
00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:31,551
Awful.
399
00:20:31,576 --> 00:20:33,910
Is that really how big your
tongue is?
400
00:20:33,935 --> 00:20:36,311
Uh'.!
401
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:39,830
No such problem with Sophie.
Yours is, er, impressive.
402
00:20:39,855 --> 00:20:41,701
Yeah?
Yep.
403
00:20:41,726 --> 00:20:44,031
Basically, I'm saying one person's
got a tiny tongue,
404
00:20:44,056 --> 00:20:45,273
one person's got a massive one.
405
00:20:45,297 --> 00:20:47,112
Yeah. Let's, let's...
We're all different.
406
00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:49,472
Let's get on with the task.
Yes. Although, before we do,
407
00:20:49,497 --> 00:20:50,912
I do have to apologise
for this task.
408
00:20:50,936 --> 00:20:52,752
If you don't like human spittle...
409
00:20:52,777 --> 00:20:54,142
Oh, God.
410
00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:56,502
Genuinely, it might be worth looking
away occasionally.
411
00:20:56,527 --> 00:20:57,672
Yeah. Oh, my God.
412
00:20:57,697 --> 00:20:59,661
Don't you dare look away.
413
00:21:00,967 --> 00:21:02,112
Good luck, everyone.
414
00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:05,031
Also, sorry to our first two,
Ardal and Judi.
415
00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:06,581
Here you go.
416
00:21:06,606 --> 00:21:08,831
The time starts now.
417
00:21:13,217 --> 00:21:14,982
Mm!
418
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:17,392
How long do you think
the average tongue is, Judi?
419
00:21:19,297 --> 00:21:20,701
Sherbet now, please.
420
00:21:27,726 --> 00:21:29,422
Three inches.
421
00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:36,862
Tongue out, please.
422
00:21:38,527 --> 00:21:42,302
Then we're going to dry
the tongue out with the fan.
423
00:21:42,327 --> 00:21:44,031
Yeah, back to the lemon.
424
00:21:46,297 --> 00:21:47,831
Keep it out, please.
425
00:21:50,497 --> 00:21:52,222
OK, good start.
426
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,832
Pardon? It's disgusting?
427
00:22:10,857 --> 00:22:14,023
How long? Well, so far,
you've done four and half minutes.
428
00:22:15,448 --> 00:22:16,832
It's longest time wins.
429
00:22:24,328 --> 00:22:26,023
It's in, it's in!
430
00:22:28,298 --> 00:22:29,753
Fuck this.
431
00:22:31,687 --> 00:22:33,063
Well done, Judi.
432
00:22:33,088 --> 00:22:34,912
Sorry for any mess that
I may have left.
433
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:37,353
Ah, it's only a little,
little pool at the bottom.
434
00:22:42,378 --> 00:22:45,273
Incredible. Was this both of your,
your favourite task?
435
00:22:45,298 --> 00:22:48,073
Erm...
I didn't mind it actually.
436
00:22:48,098 --> 00:22:52,023
I mean, sherbet, lovely.
Lemon, lovely. Lollies, lovely.
437
00:22:52,048 --> 00:22:55,832
Yep. I mean, I, I'm just proud of
myself that I could still
438
00:22:55,857 --> 00:22:57,582
communicate with my tongue out.
439
00:22:57,607 --> 00:22:59,223
Yes. Oh, the standard was wonderful.
440
00:22:59,248 --> 00:23:02,023
Do you want to hear the nasal
communication now? Please, could we?
441
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:03,753
It was better than her Swedish.
Yeah.
442
00:23:03,778 --> 00:23:04,943
Here we go.
443
00:23:04,968 --> 00:23:06,943
Oh, for fuck's sake.
444
00:23:10,328 --> 00:23:12,662
Yeah, it's crystal-clear, isn't it?
Crystal—clear.
445
00:23:14,168 --> 00:23:16,073
OK. Unfortunately,
you do have to see more.
446
00:23:16,098 --> 00:23:17,912
It doesn't get any better,
so here we go.
447
00:23:17,937 --> 00:23:20,712
This time,
it's sorry to Bridget and Chris.
448
00:23:20,737 --> 00:23:23,633
It's got to stay out.
Please, don't cover your tongue.
449
00:23:28,937 --> 00:23:31,912
Just one lemon. Was that licking?
Mm—hm.
450
00:23:34,889 --> 00:23:36,713
Was that licking?
Mm—hm.
451
00:23:42,459 --> 00:23:44,713
That was licking.
452
00:23:44,738 --> 00:23:47,304
When I blow the whistle, please.
453
00:23:47,329 --> 00:23:48,713
How's it feeling?
454
00:23:51,299 --> 00:23:53,224
Whenever you want, Bridget.
455
00:23:54,329 --> 00:23:56,793
Mm, mm, mm.
Mm-hm?
456
00:23:59,219 --> 00:24:01,994
Oh! Ah, now, I think it went in.
457
00:24:02,019 --> 00:24:04,304
Mm.
It did go in, didn't it?
458
00:24:04,329 --> 00:24:06,224
I am going to stop the clock.
459
00:24:06,249 --> 00:24:08,104
Are you going to keep it in
or keep it out?
460
00:24:08,129 --> 00:24:09,583
0h!
461
00:24:25,099 --> 00:24:26,634
Nah, I'm done. I'm done.
462
00:24:26,659 --> 00:24:28,074
Oh!
463
00:24:30,049 --> 00:24:31,304
How do you feel?
464
00:24:31,329 --> 00:24:34,074
Oh, just... ashamed mainly.
465
00:24:41,329 --> 00:24:43,833
I mean, your attempt, Bridget,
put me in mind
466
00:24:43,858 --> 00:24:47,554
of the film Turner And Hooch.
467
00:24:47,579 --> 00:24:49,913
|'m... that's what I was going
for, yeah.
468
00:24:49,938 --> 00:24:53,104
Chris, I just wanted to acknowledge
your technique,
469
00:24:53,129 --> 00:24:55,663
which was the hummingbird dab.
Yes.
470
00:24:55,688 --> 00:24:59,584
He wasn't taking
luxurious licks of lemons.
471
00:24:59,609 --> 00:25:01,475
He dabbed, he moved on.
472
00:25:03,180 --> 00:25:05,515
It did escalate severely
after about five minutes,
473
00:25:05,540 --> 00:25:07,355
but, yeah, the start put him
in good stead,
474
00:25:07,380 --> 00:25:09,664
and he is, at this stage,
the leader.
475
00:25:09,689 --> 00:25:10,875
I'm not surprised. Yeah.
476
00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:13,355
Because there... and there wasn't
much flob until later on,
477
00:25:13,380 --> 00:25:15,714
but when it came, woohoo!
478
00:25:15,739 --> 00:25:18,355
He looked like he was icing
a cake with it.
479
00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:22,155
Don't try this at home.
480
00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:24,714
Or at work. Don't try this.
481
00:25:24,739 --> 00:25:26,745
Don't. No, none of us ever
want to see this again,
482
00:25:26,770 --> 00:25:28,745
but I want to have a look
at Sophie's, obviously.
483
00:25:28,770 --> 00:25:30,515
Mm. But first, we need a break.
484
00:25:30,540 --> 00:25:32,834
You've just got time to go
and have an energy drink
485
00:25:32,859 --> 00:25:34,875
with the weird guys down the park
486
00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:37,794
and think about the impending
collapse of society.
487
00:25:37,819 --> 00:25:39,025
Bye.
488
00:25:48,860 --> 00:25:51,794
Hello, and welcome back
to Taskmaster,
489
00:25:51,819 --> 00:25:54,155
where we're about
to be taken off air. Yes.
490
00:25:56,220 --> 00:25:58,544
It's just a fascinating task
about the human tongue.
491
00:25:58,569 --> 00:26:00,195
There have been four attempts
so far,
492
00:26:00,220 --> 00:26:01,905
and in the break,
I gave each of them
493
00:26:01,930 --> 00:26:04,235
the number for the Salivation Army.
494
00:26:04,260 --> 00:26:05,955
Oh, God.
495
00:26:05,980 --> 00:26:07,625
There's one almighty tongue left.
496
00:26:07,650 --> 00:26:11,085
Step forward, and further apologies
to Sophie Duker.
497
00:26:11,110 --> 00:26:12,515
Oh, God.
498
00:26:15,579 --> 00:26:16,955
Ah-ha-ha.
499
00:26:18,140 --> 00:26:19,804
How's that? Eh.
500
00:26:21,290 --> 00:26:22,625
Oh, dear.
501
00:26:24,471 --> 00:26:26,446
Oh, that's awful.
502
00:26:29,471 --> 00:26:31,916
Eh-heh! Yeah, no, me, too.
503
00:26:33,341 --> 00:26:34,876
Eeeeeerrrr!
504
00:26:34,901 --> 00:26:37,555
We've reached the ten-minute mark.
505
00:26:37,580 --> 00:26:39,956
Is the tongue tired yet?
506
00:26:39,981 --> 00:26:41,316
Uh-huh.
507
00:26:41,341 --> 00:26:43,675
Do you know how many muscles
you've got in your tongue?
508
00:26:43,700 --> 00:26:45,266
Seven?
509
00:26:45,291 --> 00:26:46,706
It's eight.
510
00:26:48,011 --> 00:26:50,266
You can stop at any time. Eh-he. No?
511
00:26:51,830 --> 00:26:53,805
It's quarter of an hour now.
512
00:26:53,830 --> 00:26:55,396
Which is the worst one?
513
00:26:56,830 --> 00:26:58,706
I'm not making you do this.
514
00:26:58,731 --> 00:27:00,446
It's streaming out now.
515
00:27:00,471 --> 00:27:02,706
Let's dry that up, shall we?
516
00:27:06,301 --> 00:27:08,116
Thank you.
517
00:27:08,141 --> 00:27:10,956
Ha-ha-ha-ha-hah!
You're going to be sick?
518
00:27:10,981 --> 00:27:12,345
No, I'm covered in spit.
519
00:27:12,370 --> 00:27:14,956
You're covered in spit. Uh-huh.
520
00:27:14,981 --> 00:27:16,626
Yes. Yes, you are.
521
00:27:16,651 --> 00:27:18,555
Not going to be much lolly
left soon.
522
00:27:24,141 --> 00:27:25,916
I think you may have... may
have finished.
523
00:27:25,941 --> 00:27:27,475
Do you think you've finished? Mm-hm.
524
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:29,446
Yeah. Mm-hm-hm?
525
00:27:29,471 --> 00:27:31,396
26 minutes.
526
00:27:31,421 --> 00:27:33,316
How do you feel now?
527
00:27:33,341 --> 00:27:35,166
I don't think I know who I am
528
00:27:35,191 --> 00:27:37,526
if I'm not licking those things
any more.
529
00:27:48,421 --> 00:27:49,757
Incredible work. Do you think?
530
00:27:49,782 --> 00:27:52,887
I mean, it actually made me
physically gip.
531
00:27:54,982 --> 00:27:57,596
Do you think Fredrik from Sweden's
going to call me back now?
532
00:27:59,662 --> 00:28:03,596
No. I mean, she only really stopped
cos she finished the goods.
533
00:28:03,621 --> 00:28:05,346
The lolly...
534
00:28:05,371 --> 00:28:08,037
The goods were in a pile
on the floor
535
00:28:08,062 --> 00:28:12,067
above a lake of flob. Yeah.
536
00:28:12,092 --> 00:28:15,676
It's one of the most impressive,
useless talents I've ever seen.
537
00:28:15,701 --> 00:28:18,447
Thank you so much. Well, look, the
points go according to the times.
538
00:28:18,472 --> 00:28:20,067
It's very simple.
Judi, you showed grit
539
00:28:20,092 --> 00:28:22,067
but you only get one point
for your five minutes.
540
00:28:22,092 --> 00:28:24,957
Ardal, six minutes 40, two points.
Bridget, 12 minutes, three points.
541
00:28:24,982 --> 00:28:26,787
Chris, 14 and a half minutes,
four points.
542
00:28:26,812 --> 00:28:30,277
But with 26 minutes 20,
five points to Sophie Duker.
543
00:28:35,782 --> 00:28:37,167
Please can we see anything else?
544
00:28:37,192 --> 00:28:38,277
Course we can,
545
00:28:38,302 --> 00:28:41,527
and as that door closes,
another one opens.
546
00:28:57,631 --> 00:29:00,787
"Walk through this doorway
wearing the longest shoes
547
00:29:00,812 --> 00:29:02,527
"and the biggest hat."
548
00:29:02,552 --> 00:29:03,637
This door?
549
00:29:03,662 --> 00:29:05,327
Yes.
550
00:29:05,352 --> 00:29:06,837
It's not a very big door.
551
00:29:06,862 --> 00:29:09,606
"You must open the door and walk
through this doorway,
552
00:29:09,631 --> 00:29:13,327
"wearing your long shoes and big hat
within the next 20 minutes."
553
00:29:13,352 --> 00:29:15,638
"Bonus point for the most stylish."
554
00:29:15,663 --> 00:29:18,198
I mean, how am I supposed to know
what he considers stylish?
555
00:29:18,223 --> 00:29:19,427
That's... that's annoying.
556
00:29:19,452 --> 00:29:21,118
Your time starts now.
557
00:29:22,702 --> 00:29:25,477
Well, I'm just going to go
and find a hat and some shoes.
558
00:29:25,502 --> 00:29:26,687
Oh, OK.
559
00:29:26,712 --> 00:29:30,528
Where, where will I find a big hat
and large shoes?
560
00:29:30,553 --> 00:29:32,078
I don't know.
561
00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:34,477
OK. You're no help.
562
00:29:38,273 --> 00:29:40,918
Right, I don't think
there's anything in here.
563
00:29:40,943 --> 00:29:44,248
I think it's quite stylish to be
in mourning. It really is.
564
00:29:44,273 --> 00:29:46,557
It really is.
565
00:29:46,582 --> 00:29:51,198
My sister went to Saint Martin's,
uh, fashion school.
566
00:29:51,223 --> 00:29:53,557
She...| think she'd be really
pleased with that.
567
00:29:53,582 --> 00:29:56,758
I need loads of shoes... Right.
..and loads of hats,
568
00:29:56,783 --> 00:29:58,638
and I want to tape them all
together... Mm.
569
00:29:58,663 --> 00:30:01,198
And then wear it and just pop
a little flower in there
570
00:30:01,223 --> 00:30:03,968
and stuff like that. All right,
I'll gather some hats and shoes.
571
00:30:03,993 --> 00:30:06,248
Yes, please. Where can I meet you?
572
00:30:06,273 --> 00:30:08,278
I'll be relaxing, sitting down.
573
00:30:08,303 --> 00:30:10,888
I just need a bit of help
getting into my new shoes.
574
00:30:10,913 --> 00:30:12,328
Ah.
575
00:30:12,353 --> 00:30:15,093
I take a lot of pride in the things
that I make.
576
00:30:15,118 --> 00:30:16,733
Think it through.
577
00:30:19,477 --> 00:30:21,383
Quite long, Ardal.
Yeah, they are long.
578
00:30:21,408 --> 00:30:23,733
Actually, could you
push that in a bit?
579
00:30:23,758 --> 00:30:26,023
I can't get it out of my hair,
though.
580
00:30:27,158 --> 00:30:29,532
I might need a colander or something
on top of this.
581
00:30:29,557 --> 00:30:31,943
God, you took a bit of a while,
didn't you?
582
00:30:31,968 --> 00:30:34,223
I done my best.
I've got a bag of shoes. OK.
583
00:30:37,048 --> 00:30:39,093
Can I hang them on the door?
584
00:30:39,118 --> 00:30:41,413
Can you hang what on the door?
The shoes.
585
00:30:41,438 --> 00:30:42,614
What do you mean?
586
00:30:42,639 --> 00:30:44,944
I don't know.
587
00:30:51,159 --> 00:30:53,134
But, you know, there were some
familiar things
588
00:30:53,159 --> 00:30:55,494
for someone who's been watching
the whole series.
589
00:30:55,519 --> 00:30:58,774
Judi, incredibly lazy,
getting you to do all the work.
590
00:30:58,799 --> 00:31:01,134
Always. Sophie's obsession
with death.
591
00:31:01,159 --> 00:31:04,583
Bridget working away,
baffling herself at one point
592
00:31:04,608 --> 00:31:07,254
with her own question.
593
00:31:07,279 --> 00:31:09,054
And Ardaljust silently
working away.
594
00:31:09,079 --> 00:31:10,384
But I'm a bit confused. Yes.
595
00:31:10,409 --> 00:31:12,974
Where was Chris?
It's a good question, Greg.
596
00:31:12,999 --> 00:31:14,533
Well, it's an easy task, isn't it?
597
00:31:14,558 --> 00:31:16,413
Make a big hat
and craft some long shoes.
598
00:31:16,438 --> 00:31:20,814
It's an arts—and—crafts task
with endless possibilities.
599
00:31:20,839 --> 00:31:25,174
And yet, here is Chris Ramsey.
600
00:31:25,199 --> 00:31:28,134
Oh, this is a horrible caravan.
601
00:31:28,159 --> 00:31:30,494
There's a hat,
but it's a regular size hat.
602
00:31:30,519 --> 00:31:33,564
I'm not having that.
Right, I can go places, can't I?
603
00:31:33,589 --> 00:31:35,134
You've had two minutes.
604
00:31:36,639 --> 00:31:38,974
I can look other places.
OK, I get it.
605
00:31:38,999 --> 00:31:41,744
Shed seems to be the first
natural point of call.
606
00:31:41,769 --> 00:31:43,614
Yeah, if you want a hat.
607
00:31:43,639 --> 00:31:45,054
Is that a clue?
608
00:31:45,079 --> 00:31:47,054
Why's there no hats or shoes?
609
00:31:48,199 --> 00:31:50,463
Ah, OK, here we go.
610
00:31:50,488 --> 00:31:52,384
What was I doing?
611
00:31:52,409 --> 00:31:56,054
Oh, God, how many hats
does one caravan need?
612
00:31:56,079 --> 00:31:57,944
I don't understand.
613
00:31:59,329 --> 00:32:00,854
All I've found is normal—size hats,
614
00:32:00,879 --> 00:32:02,533
and I can easily go through it
with them,
615
00:32:02,558 --> 00:32:05,134
but I haven't got long shoes —
I'm only a nine. Nine's all right.
616
00:32:05,159 --> 00:32:07,855
I don't understand what's happening.
617
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,135
Oh, for God's sake.
618
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,534
There's no fucking shoes!
619
00:32:14,559 --> 00:32:16,895
What size shoe are you, Alex?
I'm a ten.
620
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,175
That's longer than mine.
Can I have your shoes, please?
621
00:32:32,330 --> 00:32:33,855
You can walk away now, Chris.
622
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:35,615
Thank God.
623
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,135
Good day.
624
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,745
I think there's a degree of style
in the cowboy hat.
625
00:32:46,569 --> 00:32:48,855
"There's no fucking shoes."
626
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,255
"I don't understand
what's happening," times five.
627
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,895
So, you literally thought
the task was find a big hat? Yeah.
628
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,214
Yeah. And big shoes. Yeah.
629
00:32:58,239 --> 00:33:01,305
Do you want to see some people
who actually did make long shoes
630
00:33:01,330 --> 00:33:03,334
and big hats? Yes, please.
631
00:33:03,359 --> 00:33:06,895
OK, well here is judi
with Ardal O'Hanlon.
632
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,025
Are they the right size?
Yeah, yeah, they're a good...
633
00:33:21,050 --> 00:33:22,575
they're actually a good fit.
634
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,255
Ah!
635
00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:32,335
Do you mind shutting the door
behind you?
636
00:33:34,001 --> 00:33:36,616
Task complete. Task complete?
Yeah. Wah-hey!
637
00:33:36,641 --> 00:33:39,545
Thanks, Ardal. Lovely
shoes-and-hat combination. OK.
638
00:33:47,521 --> 00:33:48,976
Oh, hi, Judi. Hi.
639
00:33:49,001 --> 00:33:51,215
You look nice. Thank you.
640
00:33:53,081 --> 00:33:54,415
Are you worried about this wind?
641
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,056
Not really because it's classy.
642
00:33:57,081 --> 00:33:59,335
Oh, course, yeah.
643
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:00,936
Thanks, Judi.
644
00:34:00,961 --> 00:34:03,496
I bet no—one ain't designed
nothing like this.
645
00:34:08,291 --> 00:34:10,626
Let's talk about the style,
cos I think that...
646
00:34:10,651 --> 00:34:13,826
that Ardal really nailed
a certain style,
647
00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:15,776
a period in time,
648
00:34:15,801 --> 00:34:17,266
lost now,
649
00:34:17,291 --> 00:34:20,856
where I think you went
for a broader approach to fashion.
650
00:34:20,881 --> 00:34:23,496
I went for a kind of Vivienne
Westwood kind of look, you know.
651
00:34:23,521 --> 00:34:26,696
All fashion. You looked like you'd
been kicked through a charity shop.
652
00:34:28,521 --> 00:34:31,986
Eclectic. Eclectic individuality.
An eclectic style.
653
00:34:32,011 --> 00:34:35,746
It's individual
because it's... everybody's style.
654
00:34:35,771 --> 00:34:37,106
Exactly.
655
00:34:37,131 --> 00:34:42,496
And again, what I do with my task
is bring harmony.
656
00:34:47,211 --> 00:34:50,056
Truly the work of a madwoman.
657
00:34:50,081 --> 00:34:51,656
It's the final ad break of the show,
658
00:34:51,681 --> 00:34:54,106
and soon someone will take home
some worthless tat
659
00:34:54,131 --> 00:34:56,386
and a lingering hollow feeling.
660
00:34:56,411 --> 00:34:57,747
Hurry back.
661
00:35:05,862 --> 00:35:08,647
Hello!
662
00:35:08,672 --> 00:35:11,196
Here we are, back and ready
for the last part of the show.
663
00:35:11,221 --> 00:35:13,566
Before the break, the comics
were trying to get through
664
00:35:13,591 --> 00:35:16,116
a tiny door with the longest shoes
and the biggest hat.
665
00:35:16,141 --> 00:35:18,037
There is also a bonus point
for the most stylish
666
00:35:18,062 --> 00:35:20,366
shoe-and-hat combination.
667
00:35:20,391 --> 00:35:23,087
Finally, it's Bridget and Sophie.
668
00:35:38,752 --> 00:35:40,037
Ah.
669
00:35:40,062 --> 00:35:41,757
I can't really see.
670
00:35:43,221 --> 00:35:45,167
Ooh, they are long.
671
00:35:45,192 --> 00:35:46,647
Oh, madam.
672
00:35:52,992 --> 00:35:55,807
Uuuuuuuuh!
673
00:36:03,632 --> 00:36:05,116
Oh, God.
674
00:36:09,632 --> 00:36:11,246
Oh.
675
00:36:13,672 --> 00:36:16,196
Whoa!
676
00:36:17,502 --> 00:36:19,277
Ah.
677
00:36:28,753 --> 00:36:31,808
Wow. What style. What grace.
678
00:36:31,833 --> 00:36:34,558
Um, that's the most normal
I've seen you walk all series.
679
00:36:36,913 --> 00:36:39,758
An intriguing character
that you conjured up.
680
00:36:39,783 --> 00:36:44,168
Uh... Yeah... quite a small hat,
but man those were big feet.
681
00:36:44,193 --> 00:36:45,608
Yeah.
682
00:36:45,633 --> 00:36:47,367
The shoes were long with grief.
683
00:36:47,392 --> 00:36:49,117
OK, well, look, here they all are.
684
00:36:49,142 --> 00:36:51,478
I think you can see
the relative sizes fairly easy.
685
00:36:51,503 --> 00:36:53,838
Oh, look at mine.
Look at mine.
686
00:36:53,863 --> 00:36:56,168
If I have to score it visually,
then I...
687
00:36:56,193 --> 00:36:57,838
I think it's the only way. OK.
688
00:36:57,863 --> 00:37:00,758
So, whose is the smallest
of the shoe-hat combos?
689
00:37:00,783 --> 00:37:03,088
Well, Chris. Good, right.
690
00:37:03,113 --> 00:37:04,367
One point to Chris. Fine. Yeah.
691
00:37:04,392 --> 00:37:07,117
And then, honestly,
we've got to say judi, yeah.
692
00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:08,558
Two points to you, Judi. Yeah.
693
00:37:08,583 --> 00:37:10,968
Whilst the, the shoe length
is impressive,
694
00:37:10,993 --> 00:37:15,478
the hat length has been consumed
by grief, so Sophie would be next.
695
00:37:15,503 --> 00:37:17,048
Right, Sophie gets three points.
696
00:37:17,073 --> 00:37:18,888
And there's more length
to Bridget Christie.
697
00:37:18,913 --> 00:37:20,408
Well, that is true factually, yes.
698
00:37:20,433 --> 00:37:22,278
Well, that's what I'm going
to call it then.
699
00:37:22,303 --> 00:37:24,918
It's five to Bridget, four to Ardal,
three to Sophie, two to Judi
700
00:37:24,943 --> 00:37:27,247
and one to Chris at this stage.
701
00:37:27,272 --> 00:37:28,918
Right, style.
702
00:37:28,943 --> 00:37:30,327
Style point.
703
00:37:31,793 --> 00:37:35,048
I'm thinking Ardal's gone
for quite a classic style,
704
00:37:35,073 --> 00:37:37,048
and the stance is...
705
00:37:37,073 --> 00:37:39,528
it's very Milan.
706
00:37:43,022 --> 00:37:45,447
So I...| think that simplicity must
win the day,
707
00:37:45,472 --> 00:37:47,127
and Ardal O'Hanlon takes it.
708
00:37:47,152 --> 00:37:49,659
OK, there we go. So, it's one
bonus point to Ardal O'Hanlon.
709
00:37:53,634 --> 00:37:55,169
Let's have a quick look
at the scores.
710
00:37:55,194 --> 00:37:58,049
OK. Well, I'm afraid, Judi,
you are in last place again.
711
00:37:58,074 --> 00:38:01,169
At the top, this time, we have
Bridget Christie with 17 points.
712
00:38:06,434 --> 00:38:11,198
Right, up to the stage you go
for the final task of the show.
713
00:38:19,764 --> 00:38:21,328
Who's going to read the task out?
714
00:38:21,353 --> 00:38:23,998
Ardal O'Hanlon's going to read it
out. Table tennis' own.
715
00:38:25,223 --> 00:38:29,769
Write down five things that fit the
category given by the Taskmaster.
716
00:38:29,794 --> 00:38:31,739
Your team will receive a point,
717
00:38:31,764 --> 00:38:34,359
if both players write down the same
thing.
718
00:38:34,384 --> 00:38:37,769
Right. If someone from the other
team writes the same word as you,
719
00:38:37,794 --> 00:38:40,328
that word must be wiped from the
boards
720
00:38:40,353 --> 00:38:42,689
and the team with the most points
wins.
721
00:38:42,714 --> 00:38:45,049
You have 30 seconds to write your
things
722
00:38:45,074 --> 00:38:47,889
and must be silent and still
throughout.
723
00:38:47,914 --> 00:38:50,359
Chris and Ardal, and two of the team
of three,
724
00:38:50,384 --> 00:38:52,689
please, take your place on the
circles.
725
00:38:52,714 --> 00:38:54,458
What's the first category, Greg?
726
00:38:54,483 --> 00:38:59,169
Things with four legs that are
bigger than a rat.
727
00:38:59,194 --> 00:39:02,279
OK, you have 30 seconds to write
five things, starting...
728
00:39:05,273 --> 00:39:09,998
Things with four legs that are
bigger than a rat.
729
00:39:10,023 --> 00:39:12,819
Nice and big with your writing,
please.
730
00:39:16,635 --> 00:39:17,920
Please, stop writing.
731
00:39:19,845 --> 00:39:22,570
OK, so, Ardal, first of all, your
five words.
732
00:39:22,595 --> 00:39:24,890
Five entirely correct answers.
733
00:39:24,915 --> 00:39:28,050
Right, Chris, did you have dog,
zebra, donkey, giraffe, elephant?
734
00:39:28,075 --> 00:39:30,850
Show and tell. So, I had dog.
Lovely.
735
00:39:30,875 --> 00:39:32,850
Elephant and donkey.
736
00:39:36,795 --> 00:39:38,280
Pretty good.
737
00:39:38,305 --> 00:39:40,180
Right, so, so far, three.
738
00:39:40,205 --> 00:39:42,821
So far, three, but if anyone on the
other team has the same as them,
739
00:39:42,845 --> 00:39:45,180
they have to be wiped from the
board. Oh. OK.
740
00:39:45,205 --> 00:39:47,770
Are you all right, Judi? judi looks
nervous.
741
00:39:47,795 --> 00:39:51,360
And, if you don't mind me saying,
with good reason.
742
00:39:52,665 --> 00:39:55,129
OK, Sophie, please, show and tell.
743
00:39:55,154 --> 00:39:59,610
I had donkey, dog, cat, Labrador...
744
00:40:00,995 --> 00:40:02,329
and nice table.
745
00:40:05,205 --> 00:40:07,540
Well, unfortunately, that means the
donkeys
746
00:40:07,565 --> 00:40:10,540
and the dogs need to be wiped off,
as does the cat, Chris.
747
00:40:10,565 --> 00:40:12,249
So, just to recap, at the moment,
748
00:40:12,274 --> 00:40:15,360
the boys still have one point with
the elephant.
749
00:40:15,385 --> 00:40:18,360
We're hoping that Judi's written
either Labrador or nice table
750
00:40:18,385 --> 00:40:20,079
for Sophie's sake.
751
00:40:20,104 --> 00:40:22,720
Judi, please, show us and tell us
what you've written.
752
00:40:24,745 --> 00:40:26,490
Frog...
753
00:40:30,745 --> 00:40:33,360
rabbit, dog, cat...
754
00:40:34,845 --> 00:40:36,079
bird.
755
00:40:38,075 --> 00:40:40,411
I guess, they could be classed as
legs.
756
00:40:40,436 --> 00:40:44,181
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's special
birds in Jamaica.
757
00:40:44,206 --> 00:40:48,571
Oh, them the four—legged Jamaican
bird. Yes. Yeah.
758
00:40:48,596 --> 00:40:51,611
If I'm honest with you,
|'m...|'m back with frog still.
759
00:40:53,105 --> 00:40:54,801
They're so much bigger than a rat, a
frog.
760
00:40:54,826 --> 00:40:57,080
The Jamaican frogs are. Yeah.
761
00:40:58,636 --> 00:41:01,330
She's right, you can get big arse
frogs but it's academic.
762
00:41:01,355 --> 00:41:03,651
Wipe everything off. The boys have
one point, so far.
763
00:41:06,466 --> 00:41:09,901
Are you ready? Category 2 — purple
things.
764
00:41:11,105 --> 00:41:13,491
Yes, it's purple things. You have 30
seconds.
765
00:41:13,516 --> 00:41:14,721
30 seconds...
766
00:41:22,396 --> 00:41:24,971
Yeah, it's not a bad selection from
my view.
767
00:41:24,996 --> 00:41:28,931
Purple things. Just think of all
the purple things you know.
768
00:41:30,155 --> 00:41:33,080
Wow. Lovely stuff. OK, hello,
Ardal, again.
769
00:41:33,105 --> 00:41:35,411
Please, tell me your five purple
things. OK.
770
00:41:35,436 --> 00:41:36,981
Aubergine... Yes.
771
00:41:37,006 --> 00:41:39,260
"Followed by plum. Yep.
772
00:41:39,285 --> 00:41:40,285
Knob...
773
00:41:43,316 --> 00:41:45,851
damson and one of the Tweenies.
774
00:41:45,876 --> 00:41:46,981
Right.
775
00:41:48,516 --> 00:41:50,771
The big five are there.
776
00:41:50,796 --> 00:41:52,291
Yeah.
777
00:41:52,316 --> 00:41:54,621
Chris, please, show and tell us your
five.
778
00:41:54,646 --> 00:41:56,051
Ah, I got all the same ones.
779
00:41:58,756 --> 00:41:59,981
No points yet.
780
00:42:00,006 --> 00:42:01,090
Girls.
781
00:42:01,115 --> 00:42:03,411
I wrote, blueberry.
782
00:42:03,436 --> 00:42:04,621
Cos they're purple.
783
00:42:10,877 --> 00:42:12,692
Blueberries are purple.
784
00:42:12,717 --> 00:42:14,261
They're not blue.
785
00:42:14,286 --> 00:42:15,772
They are. It's in the name.
786
00:42:17,677 --> 00:42:18,802
Lavender.
787
00:42:18,827 --> 00:42:21,091
Purple. Greg's face, sometimes.
788
00:42:22,397 --> 00:42:23,542
Absolutely accurate.
789
00:42:23,567 --> 00:42:25,932
Ribena, Parma Violets.
790
00:42:25,957 --> 00:42:27,211
They're definitely purple.
791
00:42:27,236 --> 00:42:29,542
Please, wipe Ribena from your
boards.
792
00:42:29,567 --> 00:42:30,902
Bridget, what have you got?
793
00:42:30,927 --> 00:42:34,211
Aubergine, rain...
794
00:42:34,236 --> 00:42:35,732
Rain!
795
00:42:38,797 --> 00:42:40,412
Wow, wow.
796
00:42:42,187 --> 00:42:43,492
That is lovely.
797
00:42:43,517 --> 00:42:45,881
Veins, plum and grape.
798
00:42:45,906 --> 00:42:48,542
Oh, they're in sync but with the
wrong teams.
799
00:42:48,567 --> 00:42:50,572
I'm afraid, again, it's zero points
800
00:42:50,597 --> 00:42:52,932
and it stays 1-0 to the boys with
one round to go,
801
00:42:52,957 --> 00:42:55,261
but you might as well clap them
anyway.
802
00:42:58,597 --> 00:43:02,131
OK, it's the final round. Let's hear
the final category.
803
00:43:02,156 --> 00:43:04,412
Things that are nice to put in your
mouth.
804
00:43:06,236 --> 00:43:07,622
30 seconds starting...
805
00:43:11,957 --> 00:43:15,091
Lovely selection of things
that I can see.
806
00:43:15,116 --> 00:43:16,772
Stop.
807
00:43:16,797 --> 00:43:19,131
Well, I think we're in
for a treat here, Greg.
808
00:43:19,156 --> 00:43:20,852
Oh, we certainly are.
809
00:43:20,877 --> 00:43:23,172
Hello, Ardal. Hi, again.
What are your five things
810
00:43:23,197 --> 00:43:24,423
that are nice to put in your mouth?
811
00:43:24,447 --> 00:43:26,292
Uh, yes, I started with thumb. Yeah.
812
00:43:26,317 --> 00:43:27,982
Ice lolly. Mm, lovely.
813
00:43:28,007 --> 00:43:29,702
Blanket.
814
00:43:29,727 --> 00:43:31,132
Cigar. Hm.
815
00:43:31,157 --> 00:43:32,623
And flute.
816
00:43:32,648 --> 00:43:34,983
You pop it in, don't you?
Pop in the flute.
817
00:43:35,008 --> 00:43:36,523
Pop that...
818
00:43:38,798 --> 00:43:40,063
A blanket?
819
00:43:41,728 --> 00:43:43,173
Well, they might not be funny.
820
00:43:43,198 --> 00:43:45,653
Let's find out if Chris is in tune
with his team-mate.
821
00:43:45,678 --> 00:43:47,132
Chris, what are your five things?
822
00:43:47,157 --> 00:43:48,573
Lolly pop. Ooh.
823
00:43:48,598 --> 00:43:51,173
And, uh, thumb. Huh! Thumb, OK.
824
00:43:51,198 --> 00:43:53,813
So the boys... Thumb! ..the boys,
at the moment, have two points.
825
00:43:53,838 --> 00:43:55,063
Two, lolly and thumb.
826
00:43:55,088 --> 00:43:56,653
Three altogether at this stage,
827
00:43:56,678 --> 00:43:59,373
but Judi has written some things.
Judi, what have you written?
828
00:43:59,398 --> 00:44:02,063
I've put body parts...
829
00:44:04,088 --> 00:44:07,173
food, air...
830
00:44:07,198 --> 00:44:10,063
fingers and toes.
831
00:44:14,728 --> 00:44:17,342
I think we're looking
at five points here.
832
00:44:17,367 --> 00:44:19,813
Yeah, and the thing is, obviously,
I know fingers and toes,
833
00:44:19,838 --> 00:44:23,173
but body parts is separate
to fingers and toes. Is it?
834
00:44:23,198 --> 00:44:24,703
Yeah. How so?
835
00:44:24,728 --> 00:44:27,423
Cos it's at the side
and at the bottom.
836
00:44:27,448 --> 00:44:29,373
Body parts is in the middle.
837
00:44:31,367 --> 00:44:33,012
Your fingers are at the side.
838
00:44:33,037 --> 00:44:36,293
They need to get three of these
to draw, four to win.
839
00:44:36,318 --> 00:44:37,703
Bridget, what have you got?
840
00:44:37,728 --> 00:44:39,653
Custard,
841
00:44:39,678 --> 00:44:41,703
fingers... Ooh. Hey! Yes.
842
00:44:41,728 --> 00:44:43,373
Fish fingers,
843
00:44:43,398 --> 00:44:44,733
uh, sweets.
844
00:44:44,758 --> 00:44:47,892
And then I rubbed the last one out
cos I...|...|...
845
00:44:47,917 --> 00:44:50,653
Penis? Yeah, it was that.
It was penis.
846
00:44:50,678 --> 00:44:53,012
Yeah, I would sayjudi
also wiped out penis. What?
847
00:44:53,037 --> 00:44:55,373
Yeah, they both had penis.
Yeah, I wrote penis as well.
848
00:44:55,398 --> 00:44:57,213
So did I! I know. I was...
849
00:44:57,238 --> 00:45:00,174
| was gagging to put it back.
850
00:45:00,199 --> 00:45:03,984
There will be no points
for imagined words.
851
00:45:04,009 --> 00:45:05,893
The game is done,
we'll add it all up,
852
00:45:05,918 --> 00:45:07,934
we'll see how it's affected
the final scores.
853
00:45:07,959 --> 00:45:10,734
Please come and join me.
854
00:45:15,349 --> 00:45:16,614
Well done.
855
00:45:16,639 --> 00:45:19,013
All right? Yeah. They were in sync
sort of.
856
00:45:19,038 --> 00:45:22,934
Elephant, thumb, lolly,
and fingers over there,
857
00:45:22,959 --> 00:45:24,704
so the score was 3-1.
858
00:45:24,729 --> 00:45:27,065
I guess the boys win the task,
so they get five points. Yes.
859
00:45:27,089 --> 00:45:28,934
How many points
do you want the ladies...?
860
00:45:28,959 --> 00:45:30,454
Three on this occasion. OK.
861
00:45:30,479 --> 00:45:33,013
So, it's three points to the girls,
five to the boys.
862
00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:38,064
And that has affected the scores,
you won't be surprised to hear.
863
00:45:38,089 --> 00:45:40,654
They've gone up.
864
00:45:40,679 --> 00:45:43,143
Uh, Judi last place with ten points.
865
00:45:43,168 --> 00:45:45,504
With twice as many points
at the top,
866
00:45:45,529 --> 00:45:47,424
it's Bridget Christie
with 20 points!
867
00:45:47,449 --> 00:45:49,143
What?
868
00:45:49,168 --> 00:45:51,093
Bridget Christie wins!
869
00:45:51,118 --> 00:45:55,504
How did that happen? Please head up
for your holdable haul.
870
00:45:55,529 --> 00:45:57,864
Ooh!
871
00:45:57,889 --> 00:45:59,784
So, what have we learnt today?
872
00:45:59,809 --> 00:46:02,093
We've learnt it's not about
the size of the tongue,
873
00:46:02,118 --> 00:46:04,374
it's about the quality of the flob.
874
00:46:04,399 --> 00:46:06,093
It's not about the size of the hat,
875
00:46:06,118 --> 00:46:08,614
it's about understanding
that you have to make a hat.
876
00:46:08,639 --> 00:46:10,934
It's not about the museum tour,
877
00:46:10,959 --> 00:46:14,223
it's about avoiding the man with
the table tennis bat above his head.
878
00:46:14,248 --> 00:46:18,814
And finally,
birds do not have four legs.
879
00:46:20,639 --> 00:46:22,425
We have to go now,
but tonight's winner
880
00:46:22,450 --> 00:46:25,144
is the wonderful Bridget Christie!
881
00:46:34,720 --> 00:46:36,014
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