1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,000 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,520 BRASS BAND BUILDS JUDI LAUGHS 3 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,680 No way! 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,200 Er... 5 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:12,720 Gosh! Where's the hole? 6 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,760 ARDAL GROANS SOPHIE CRIES OUT 7 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,800 CHRIS TRUMPETS Are you having a laugh? 8 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:20,840 GRUNTING 9 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,280 JUDI GASPS CHRIS CRIES OUT Ooh! 10 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:28,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 11 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,280 Hello! 12 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:38,960 And welcome to another enchanting new series of Taskmaster. 13 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,400 I'm Greg Davies and I am still the Taskmaster, 14 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,120 and nothing you can say on Twitter 15 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,600 from your horrible little bedroom will change that. LAUGHTER 16 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,000 Five newly hatched competitors 17 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,120 are trembling off camera as we speak. 18 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:52,880 Nervous little baby birds, wondering if they've done enough 19 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,400 for me to reward them with a dead mouse from my mighty beak. 20 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,600 LAUGHTER 21 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,680 Why would they put themselves through this stress? 22 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,760 The chance to own my golden head? 23 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:05,840 Perhaps. 24 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,320 The truth is it doesn't matter 25 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,520 because they must all now continue, 26 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,920 due to a legally binding contract they have signed. LAUGHTER 27 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:15,480 Let us meet the five who are legally obliged. 28 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:16,520 They are... 29 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,240 ..Ardal O'Hanlon... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 30 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,800 ..Bridget Christie... 31 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,680 ..Chris Ramsey... 32 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,920 ..Judi Love... 33 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,200 ..and Sophie Duker! 34 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:36,480 And next to me, the freshly thawed corpse of an ancient peat bog man. 35 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,400 LAUGHTER It's... HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Little Alex Horne! 36 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,640 RAPTUROUS CHEERING AND APPLAUSE WHISTLING 37 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,280 LAUGHTER 38 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,360 Right, what's our first prize category, please, Alex? 39 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,440 It is... 40 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,920 Ooohh! AUDIENCE OOH 41 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,360 The thing that if you found it in a skip, 42 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,840 you would be most excited by. LAUGHTER 43 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,520 Five points will go to the thing the taskmaster, Greg Davies, 44 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,920 thinks one would be most excited about if you found it in a skip 45 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,600 and at the end, the winner takes home all five things 46 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,360 and walk away with a skip in their step. OK? 47 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,400 LAUGHTER Ardal, welcome to the show. 48 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,600 Oh, thank you. It's so good to be here. 49 00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:17,280 What did excite you when you found it in a skip? 50 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,760 Oh, erm, a trophy, of course. 51 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,320 Oh. Not a bad trophy. Oh. 52 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,480 No. That's cool. Yeah. 53 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,160 Does it speak of a fierce ambition in you? 54 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,800 Well, we've all been there. 55 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,400 We've all, er, gone into a trophy shop... 56 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,960 CHUCKLING ..and we've bought a trophy and had it engraved and... 57 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,640 To please father and...Yes. LAUGHTER 58 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,800 Were you a sporting elite as a young man? 59 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:42,840 Not really. 60 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,800 Most of my trophies in my trophy cabinet are ones I bought. 61 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:50,520 It's early days, Ardal. 62 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,480 I'm going to say it's around two points. 63 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,960 Oh, fantastic. That's my gut instinct at this stage. 64 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,760 Bridget, what have you brought in? 65 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:01,040 I, someone's last will and testament? 66 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,200 JUDI:Wow. Wow.SOPHIE:Ooh! LAUGHTER 67 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,360 She genuinely found this in a skip. This is what it looks like. 68 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,560 AUDIENCE OOHS AND AHS JUDI:Whoa...SOPHIE:My God. 69 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,040 Oh, man. About 300 years old. 70 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:12,680 Look at Ardal's little face. 71 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,880 Well... I think... LAUGHTER 72 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:17,760 Your trophy's been pissed on already. 73 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,480 There was one point over the years 74 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,680 because I found it years ago where I thought, 75 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,880 "Am I going to have loads of bad luck?" 76 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:24,920 You know? 77 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,960 LAUGHTER Because you found the... 78 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:31,520 Because I've got it up in my hallway and I don't know whose it is. 79 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,760 ARDAL: Did you try and track the person down? 80 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:35,960 Oh, no. 81 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,640 No, I think it's fair to say they're not around anymore. 82 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,080 Well, I mean, who are the beneficiaries of the will? 83 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,560 Mary. His beloved wife, Mary, is... 84 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,000 You seem to know a lot about this. BRIDGET: Oh. 85 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,080 Well, I've read it. LAUGHTER 86 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,040 I'm very excited by your will. 87 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,120 OK. Christopher? 88 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:56,000 I have brought a '90s style important businessmen briefcase. 89 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,120 AUDIENCE OOHS AND AHS WHISTLING That's exciting. 90 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,240 God, you're all more excited than I could ever have dreamt. LAUGHTER 91 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:03,720 Why are we excited by it? 92 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,800 Because my house was the first house made on a new estate 93 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,520 and in the skip one day we found a briefcase. 94 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:11,680 And it was locked. 95 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,680 And it took hours to get inside it. 96 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,120 What was inside it? BRIDGET: Yeah. What was inside it? 97 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,360 I was about to say. 98 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,040 Oh, I'll say it as well. What was inside it? LAUGHTER 99 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,480 You'll find out at the end of the show.Oh! AUDIENCE OOHS AND AHS 100 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,320 Ooh, he's turned the excitement up from nought! 101 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,520 Yep. 102 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:32,520 Judi, what have you brought in? 103 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,360 A Now '90s tape. 104 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,800 And, you know, it's got all the classics on there. 105 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,280 You know the '90s music was the best? 106 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,080 Yeah. Look at that. Look at that! 107 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,040 Take that. I mean, come on. 108 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,440 Shabba Ranks! 109 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,480 Mr Lover Lover!Yes...Mm-hmm! LAUGHTER 110 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,160 Is Shabba Ranks on there or were you just exclaiming that? 111 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,720 No, Shabba Ranks is on there. 112 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:55,560 I personally think that they threw it out by accident. 113 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,240 You want to show the kids how times were, you know, 114 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,920 when you wanted to turn it over and you used to 115 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,360 put your finger in the tape and wind it back? 116 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,080 These kids don't know about that now. 117 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,920 Write down, "Judi Love. Incredible bullshitter." 118 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,560 Oh, right. Good. LAUGHTER 119 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,280 Sophie, can you beat an old cassette tape? Hello. 120 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,800 I've brought a multipurpose... 121 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,680 ..seating...device. 122 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,720 LAUGHTER 123 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,560 Wow. Look at that! 124 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,600 Very good. 125 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,240 Look at that. Wow. 126 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,560 When you're, like, a millennial, 127 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,480 you don't get your furniture from shops. 128 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:33,640 You get it from skipping. 129 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,600 It may qualify as theft within the Theft Act of 1968, 130 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,080 unless you've got permission from the skip owner. 131 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,400 If something's on the street, it's yours. 132 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:42,920 BRIDGET AND JUDI: Yeah. Not really. 133 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,960 Cos I leave my car on the street. LAUGHTER 134 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,600 Just before the show, Alex said to me... SOPHIE: Yeah? 135 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:55,240 "Sophie's brought a sofa in that she's trying to get rid of." 136 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:58,200 LAUGHTER That's how I understood it. 137 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,080 Yeah. JUDI: I would never get rid of my Now 25. 138 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,200 LAUGHTER It's Now 24. 139 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,560 Yeah, that's what I said. LAUGHTER 140 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,400 APPLAUSE 141 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,960 I'm sorry, I wasn't excited by Ardal's golf trophy. 142 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,200 One point. 143 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,680 I mean, the truth is my instinct was to put the awful sofa in 144 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,720 at two points, but I think that's because 145 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,720 Judi did such a good job of bullshitting me about the tape. 146 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,960 All them classics! LAUGHTER 147 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,920 Judi, can you name one more... Duran Duran! 148 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,120 If you can name one more track off it, 149 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,840 I'm gonna let you take it. Yes. 150 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,120 MC Hammer was on one of those, Michael Jackson and... 151 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,080 B-b-buh! You've had your guess. 152 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,920 No MC Hammer on 24. 153 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,160 No, what I'm saying is... 154 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,120 I'm so sorry. Two points for Now 24. 155 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,560 LAUGHTER AUDIENCE GROANS APPLAUSE 156 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,720 Great news about your shit sofa. 157 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,440 You've got three sweet points for it. 158 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,480 Yes! 159 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,200 I'm going to give Chris four points 160 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,120 because there's something rather beautiful about that will. 161 00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,840 Aw. So I'm giving Bridget five points. 162 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,640 Bridget with five points. Very good. APPLAUSE 163 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:03,680 ARDAL: Well done. 164 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:05,760 We're off! 165 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,480 What does the first task involve, Alex? 166 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:08,960 Well, Greg, if they're successful, 167 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,760 it'll involve the natural enemy of bread - 168 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:12,840 ducks! 169 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,080 ALEX WHISTLES CHUCKLING 170 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:19,560 EERIE STRINGS PLAY JAUNTY PIANO CHORDS PLAY 171 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:26,840 Hello. 172 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,160 Oh, hi, Judi. 173 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,840 Can I just say, on the door it says, "No shoes in the lab." 174 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:37,360 However, you've got me wearing these heavy duty boots. 175 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,520 Right. CHUCKLING 176 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,360 Hi. Bridget. 177 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,080 Hi? 178 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,360 OK. 179 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,960 Erm, so I should, I should probably look for the task. 180 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,400 Right. That's my first...task. 181 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,440 LAUGHTER 182 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,880 Oh, gosh.Oh, no. CHUCKLING 183 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,000 So I'll just start over here. 184 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,720 There it is. You found it? 185 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,520 I found it straightaway. Good start. 186 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,680 It's promising. 187 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:10,640 Yeah! 188 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,480 Oh, God Almighty, give me strength. 189 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,800 LAUGHTER 190 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,120 Duck. 191 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,680 Well, this is fun, I love jumping. 192 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,240 Ooh! I found out the other day I've got jumping veins. 193 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,920 Oh, that is good news. 194 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,920 It's probably easier for tall people, isn't it? 195 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,840 Yeah, I realised I put it up a bit too high, probably. 196 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,880 BRIDGET GRUNTS CHUCKLING 197 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:38,520 Duck. 198 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,240 No duck. 199 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,280 LAUGHTER BRIDGET GRUNTS God! 200 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,240 What's it stuck on there with?! 201 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,000 BRIDGET GRUNTS LAUGHTER Oh! 202 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,120 LAUGHTER 203 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,200 Duck? 204 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,680 "Find all ten ducks. 205 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,200 "You must stay in the lab. 206 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,640 "Fastest wins. 207 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:07,440 "You have a maximum of 20 minutes. 208 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,520 "Your time started when you entered the lab." 209 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,000 Yeah, two minutes gone. 210 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,480 You f... 211 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,520 LAUGHTER 212 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:18,600 Fastest... 213 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,520 What does it say? 214 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,800 "Your time started when you entered the lab?!" 215 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,680 Yeah, you talked about veins for quite a while. LAUGHTER 216 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,280 "Your time started when you entered the lab?" 217 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,760 You've found one duck so far. 218 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,960 Ducks as in quack quack ducks? 219 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,280 Erm, yes, please. 220 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,600 APPLAUSE 221 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,920 Chris, you said the word "duck" an awful lot. 222 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:43,960 Duck, yeah. 223 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,920 He said "duck" about eight times, didn't he? 224 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,600 Yes, but he has started well. He's found the first duck. 225 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,800 There's only ten hidden in quite a small room. 226 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,760 We've given them a maximum of 20 minutes 227 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,680 because we thought it was gonna be quite an easy task. LAUGHTER 228 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,640 Let's have a look at some duck stuff. 229 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,560 All right. The first person we're gonna see is a man - 230 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,600 he's an Irish man, he's Ardal O'HanMAN. 231 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,720 Here we go. LAUGHTER 232 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,160 I imagine there's a duck in here. SLOW CELLO PLUCKS 233 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,600 There's a box that says "duck" on it. 234 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:10,640 OK. 235 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,440 No duck. Ah. 236 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,040 You tricked me. 237 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,480 I haven't found any ducks yet. 238 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,440 How much time have we spent? Four minutes. 239 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,040 Four minutes and no ducks. LAUGHTER 240 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,160 TAPPING 241 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,400 LAUGHTER 242 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,440 No ducks. 243 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:35,480 That a duck? 244 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,520 Do you think it's a duck? LAUGHTER 245 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:38,880 Same general species. 246 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,240 OK. 247 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,400 Here, boy. LAUGHTER 248 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,440 SCATTERED APPLAUSE 249 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,480 SUSPENSEFUL STRINGS PLAY 250 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,560 Well, then. 251 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,600 Another one of these. LAUGHTER 252 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,920 So... All right, these are the ducks? 253 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,920 I can see it, OK? They're not ducks. 254 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,200 Fucking hens. 255 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,400 LAUGHTER 256 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,280 SUSPENSEFUL BLUES MUSIC PLAYS 257 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,600 This is literally the best I can do. LAUGHTER 258 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,000 There's not very many ducks in here. 259 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,320 Now, why would you have asked me to wear heavy boots? 260 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,840 Be nice to find one duck. 261 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:25,920 It would be good. 262 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,920 AUDIENCE GASPS 263 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,480 AUDIENCE OOHS AND AHS LAUGHTER 264 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,040 Ooh! 265 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,880 Found a duck! 266 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,840 Ha! Yes! 267 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,080 I can die happy. I found a duck. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 268 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,120 How many minutes left, Alex? Six minutes left. 269 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,800 Six minutes left. How many ducks do I need to find? 270 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:51,960 Nine more.Nine more ducks. OK. LAUGHTER 271 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,760 There wouldn't be one, like, inside the hen, would there? 272 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,200 Where would a duck shelter in a hen? 273 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,480 LAUGHTER You've got 20 seconds. 274 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:03,600 Oh! 275 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,920 QUACKING That's a duck. 276 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:08,960 Oh. 277 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,480 WHISTLE BLOWS You found two ducks. 278 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,040 Oh. I'll take that. 279 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,240 It was looking dodgy there for a few minutes. 280 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:18,520 LAUGHTER APPLAUSE 281 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,200 Up until the third chicken you brought out, 282 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,720 I was under the impression that 283 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,680 you played a character in Father Ted. 284 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,040 LAUGHTER 285 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,920 Well, I thought I did really well. 286 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,840 I mean, I thought I was really good at looking. I just... 287 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,840 LAUGHTER Yeah, I tell you what, you were mesmerizing to watch looking.Yeah. 288 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,960 I find you a very soothing presence to watch. Yeah. 289 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,600 I really enjoyed the task. 290 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:48,000 Like, I would have happily stayed there for hours. 291 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,040 LAUGHTER Yeah. Right. 292 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,040 It's the first advert break of the series 293 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,040 and you know what that means. 294 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,760 Yes, it's time to Google the cast's ages 295 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,440 and see if you were right. I'll save you some time. 296 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,120 Chris Ramsey is 56. 297 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,400 See you in a bit! LAUGHTER CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 298 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,360 APPLAUSE Hello and welcome back! 299 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,400 Where were we, Alex? 300 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,960 Before the break, the new cast 301 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,680 were tasked to find some hidden ducks in the lab - 302 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,440 ten hidden ducks, to be precise - 303 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,760 and Ardal O'Hanlon kicked off the new series by finding two of them. 304 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,200 It was a shame. Now it's the turn... 305 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,320 LAUGHTER ..of Sophie and Bridget. 306 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:31,920 There's a duck here. 307 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,040 What does it say? 308 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,000 No duck. Ah. 309 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,240 OK, that's not a duck. 310 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,880 Erm, can I pull the floor up? 311 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,080 Is that why I've got these horrible boots on? 312 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,320 Do whatever you want, really. 313 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,360 SOPHIE GASPS A duck! OK, a duck! 314 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,800 What does it look like? It's, like, made of electrical... 315 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,960 ..wire? Ah. Yeah, I think you might need to turn that duck on. 316 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,920 How many ducks have you found so far? 317 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,600 Stop talking to me. LAUGHTER 318 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,560 One duck. Whey! OK, great. 319 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,400 What's that there? Is that a duck? 320 00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,480 Remember what ducks are? 321 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,720 What did you say, pardon? 322 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,200 Do you remember what ducks are? 323 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,720 Are you proud of that? 324 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,520 Are you proud? LAUGHTER 325 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:07,680 Hang on. 326 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,720 Is there something else that is also called a duck? 327 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:11,960 Like a nail? 328 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,600 LAUGHTER 329 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,800 That's a duck. Do you think it's a duck? 330 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,280 It might think it's a duck. 331 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,400 Hm. 332 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,560 Oh, you found a duck? 333 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,080 Do I have to kill the chicken? 334 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:28,400 What do you mean? 335 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,000 CHICKEN RATTLES 336 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,600 LAUGHTER 337 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,200 Ah! SOPHIE GROANS 338 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,520 QUIETLY: Yes, OK. 339 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:41,960 Found another one? 340 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,800 QUACKING 341 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,040 OK, that's a duck. Yep. Two ducks. Well done. 342 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,520 There might be some up there. 343 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:52,840 Can you give me a piggyback? 344 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:53,880 Yes. 345 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,480 Like, I did this a lot at university. A lot? 346 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,080 Yeah. So...OK. Right. 347 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,800 So, like, up. Yeah, I, yes, Ma'am. 348 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,320 Ah! Sorry. LAUGHTER 349 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,680 One...two... 350 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,720 ..three! You're up. LAUGHTER 351 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,200 Right. Now what? You all right? 352 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,120 Yes. There are some letters up there, though - A, R, D. 353 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,040 Nard? Anard? 354 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,480 Canard! 355 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:15,960 That's a duck. Yes, correct. 356 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,080 Erm... Er... LAUGHTER 357 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,440 You're sort of steering me with your thighs. 358 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,480 Yeah.Hm. LAUGHTER 359 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,600 Oh, that way, is it? 360 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:26,640 Now it's dark. 361 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,920 Yeah, we're just going to be here... 362 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,800 ..and wait for a duck to appear. 363 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,080 LAUGHTER 364 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,520 They might put some in the boots. 365 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,240 BRIDGET INHALES DEEPLY BRIDGET LAUGHS No. 366 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,880 Nothing in there. AUDIENCE AWS 367 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,040 It's a duck. 368 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,160 There's a torch. 369 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,200 Is that anything? 370 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,040 Where are you, little duckers? 371 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,120 LAUGHTER What would it be? 372 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,920 You've got 50 seconds. 373 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,400 WHISPERING: Where are you? 374 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,080 There's a duck here. Where? 375 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,120 On the task. 376 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,480 There's a duck. 377 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,920 BRIDGET GASPS WHISTLE BLOWS 378 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,440 APPLAUSE 379 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,320 Pretty sweet haul of ducks. Hm. 380 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:14,360 Pleased with that? 381 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,920 No. No? 382 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,280 Less than half the ducks. 383 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:18,920 I think it's a brilliant result. 384 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,560 Sorry, it was, it was very, very good. 385 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,600 BRIDGET: I was pleased with the writing one. 386 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,560 JUDI: I mean, that was... That was hard. 387 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,480 SOPHIE: It was in French as well. CHRIS: Really good. I know. 388 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,680 What did you do a lot at university, Sophie? 389 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,880 You said, "I did this a lot at university" 390 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,080 You were getting on Alex's shoulders at the time. 391 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,280 Yeah, I... A lot of riding men at parties. 392 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,320 LAUGHTER 393 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,240 If you're short, at a concert or something, you've got to ride... 394 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,200 You're speaking to the wrong person, I think. 395 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,400 Oh, yeah, OK. But people must have ridden you. 396 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,440 LAUGHTER 397 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,320 Not for a while. LAUGHTER 398 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,640 Four ducks each. Nice. 399 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,680 Who's next? 400 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,880 Now it's time for the final two duck hunters. 401 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,080 It's the big JC. 402 00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,400 It's Judi and Chris. 403 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,880 Here we go. 404 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,040 What are these? Are these ducks or chickens? 405 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:04,800 What do you reckon, duck or chicken? 406 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,120 Oh, God. Judi? 407 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,600 Yeah? 408 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:08,960 Is this a box? 409 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,400 Yes. 410 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,640 How does it open? 411 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:13,680 Oh. 412 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,840 Well, there's not a duck in there, is there? 413 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,120 No, I don't think so. 414 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,520 That's Richard Herring. 415 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,040 LAUGHTER What colour is he? 416 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,080 LAUGHTER 417 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,920 Am I hot? 418 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,040 Oh, yes. LAUGHTER 419 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,520 Take your shirt off. 420 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,000 Take your shirt off. Please. 421 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,400 Rub against the wall. Search the wall. 422 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,640 LAUGHTER Oh, come... 423 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,240 Feel the wall, feel the wall. 424 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,600 Where is the ducks? 425 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,520 Turn around. WHOOPING 426 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,560 Goddamn it. 427 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,960 Is there any ducks in your shoes? Ducks on the bottom of your shoes? 428 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,120 Why would there be ducks on my shoes? I don't know, is there... 429 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,240 Ah! Two ducks!Two ducks. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 430 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,920 One... 431 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,440 ..two... That's, I'm ducking. Right. LAUGHTER 432 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,160 Will you finish that cup of tea? 433 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,000 I feel like there's a duck in it. Why am I paranoid about ducks? LAUGHTER 434 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,520 Yes! 435 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,000 Yes! OK. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 436 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,720 JUDI LAUGHS 437 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,720 QUACKING There's a torch. 438 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,400 Am I just going to have to sweep the whole room?! 439 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,920 Duck! Duck! APPLAUSE 440 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,680 Yes! Here's one. 441 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,080 Aha! QUACKING 442 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:37,360 You've just found a duck. 443 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,760 Ooh! 444 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,120 Can you open this, please? 445 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,360 What's in it for me? 446 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,760 What's in it for you is I'm not going to get pissed off. 447 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,280 Can you open this, please? 448 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,520 Right, OK. 449 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,000 Is this your tea? 450 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,040 Yes. 451 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,720 LAUGHTER 452 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,760 APPLAUSE Honestly, like, where are you from? 453 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:58,880 West Sussex. No. 454 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,000 LAUGHTER 455 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,560 Is it inside the table? 456 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,560 SQUEAKING 457 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,200 Duck. OK. Found a duck. 458 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,240 CHRIS SQUEALS Duck! Duck, duck, duck, 459 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,640 duck, duck, duck, duck, duck! 460 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,280 Two minutes. Ah! 461 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,120 Ah... Ooh! 462 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,320 Found one! 463 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:17,360 Oh, really? 464 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,440 Yep. 465 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,840 That's a stray duck. 466 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:20,960 That's a duck. 467 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,160 Yeah, that's a duck we didn't know was there. 468 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,440 LAUGHTER Can I lift the floor? 469 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,520 Duck! 470 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:28,640 Duck! 471 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,120 Yes! 30 seconds. 472 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,080 This is not a duck on my face? 473 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,120 No, I, hm...Is there a duck on my face? LAUGHTER 474 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:37,680 One more duck. 475 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,040 Oh, my God! 476 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,800 This is so frustrating! 477 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,160 Ah! WHISTLE BLOWS 478 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,920 That was... 479 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,000 ..horrible. 480 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,240 LAUGHTER 481 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 482 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:52,800 JUDI: Brilliant! Well done. 483 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:53,920 Thank you. 484 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,000 BRIDGET: Both amazing. 485 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,920 How many ducks did they both get? 486 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,960 Well, Judi found a stray duck that genuinely we'd put on the wall 487 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,480 years ago for another task... 488 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,680 LAUGHTER ..which is quite odd, so she found... 489 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:06,720 Bonus duck? 490 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,280 Yeah. JUDI: Wow. She found six, 491 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:09,880 but didn't find five. 492 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:13,200 LAUGHTER She also said, "Is there a duck on my face" for ages. 493 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,400 Yeah. Yeah, because you just kept on looking at me strange. 494 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,800 I wish we had a still of the picture of you under that light. 495 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:20,840 Oh, my God! 496 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,000 Just so we can check if there was a duck on your face. 497 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,520 Was there a duck on my face?! Well, let's find out in a minute. 498 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,280 LAUGHTER 499 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,320 CHRIS:Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. APPLAUSE 500 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,640 BRIDGET: That looks amazing. 501 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,720 No duck. 502 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,080 Chris altogether found seven ducks. 503 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:43,120 JUDI:Wow.Congratulations. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 504 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,960 That's very good. 505 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,000 JUDI: Wow. 506 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,240 Right, give me some scores. 507 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,280 Yes, all right, then. 508 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,000 Chris won the task with seven ducks. 509 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,080 Judi second with six. 510 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:54,160 Sophie and Bridget both get three points with four ducks. 511 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,800 Ardal just the one point after his two ducks. 512 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,400 So Chris Ramsey wins five points! 513 00:20:58,440 --> 00:20:59,440 There it is! 514 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,680 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 515 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:02,720 Scoreboard time? 516 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,760 Yes. Um, I'm... 517 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:04,800 That's nice. 518 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,000 I'm afraid that Ardal has minimal points with two. 519 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,880 Chris is in the lead with nine points at this stage. 520 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,400 GASPING WHISTLING CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 521 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,440 Here we go. 522 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,560 Let's have another task, please! 523 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,600 Of course. 524 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,760 And perhaps as a nod to how we resolve our frequent little tiffs, 525 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,440 this one involves kissing and make-up. 526 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,480 LAUGHTER 527 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,840 MEXICAN BAND PLAYS 528 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:37,640 Right. 529 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:39,920 I'm in business. 530 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:42,240 That's more like it. 531 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,280 Yeah. 532 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,200 Have you just eaten something? 533 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,480 I had some crisps. 534 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:48,920 That'll be it. Yep. 535 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,000 CHUCKLING 536 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,800 "Create the best picture of the Taskmaster, 537 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,760 using only lipstick on your lips. 538 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,520 "ON your lips?!" 539 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,920 "You have ten minutes and your picture must fill 540 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,360 most of the canvas. 541 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,360 "And your picture must fill most of the canvas." 542 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,760 Are you having a laugh? 543 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,560 LAUGHTER Your time starts now. 544 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,160 Er, the Taskmaster. 545 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,760 He is... He's... 546 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,960 ..pretty peaky at the best of times, isn't he? 547 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,240 Can I... 548 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,600 I'm gonna go get a picture of him, innit. 549 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,120 Can't remember what he looks like from memory. 550 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,720 Got a picture of him. 551 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,160 That looks nothing like him. 552 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,760 Has he got blue eyes? 553 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,680 I think they're blue. Are they green? 554 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,040 It doesn't matter, does it? 555 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,280 Is that good? Is that a good thing to do? 556 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,400 I think so, yeah. 557 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,120 LAUGHTER 558 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,200 Are you using your lips as a palette? 559 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,480 Yeah. Good. 560 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,200 Your eyes go very big when you put it on. 561 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,920 That's, do you not know about lipstick? 562 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,960 No. LAUGHTER 563 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000 SOPHIE CHUCKLES LAUGHTER 564 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,080 SOPHIE MOANS 565 00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:05,920 LAUGHTER Mm-mwah! 566 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,240 LAUGHTER 567 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,360 PAPER SQUEAKS 568 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,840 Oh. Are you blowing out? 569 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,800 No. No, that's just the noise the blue makes. 570 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,840 LAUGHTER 571 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:22,920 Christ alive. 572 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,040 Um... 573 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,200 Ooh! 574 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,400 The lipstick is on your lips, is it still? 575 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:28,560 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 576 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:29,720 Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah? 577 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,160 LAUGHTER 578 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,400 You're quite aggressive with it. 579 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,200 There's no other lips I can use? 580 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,360 No, no. No, no. 581 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,920 LAUGHTER 582 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,960 SOPHIE MOANS 583 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,560 MUFFLED: Mm, it looks lovely. 584 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,600 Pardon? MUFFLED: It looks lovely. 585 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,360 Oh, God. 586 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,680 This is what he looks like 587 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,200 when he goes home, when he's on his own. 588 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,520 HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Hello! I'm Greg. 589 00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:00,560 I think I have some, er, crisps for me to eat. 590 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,600 Eh? LAUGHTER 591 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,120 I think I'm happy with that. 592 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,040 WHISTLE BLOWS 593 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,080 Oh. 594 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:13,120 LAUGHTER APPLAUSE 595 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,520 Enjoy that, Sophie? 596 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:16,560 Yeah. Yeah. 597 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,480 Yeah, I liked it. Something else you used to do at university? 598 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,760 I was trying to be precise. 599 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,160 You really got into it. 600 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,400 JUDI: Loving up, you done... 601 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,080 The thing that annoyed me the most about this task was 602 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:31,240 I was embarrassed at how out of breath I was at the end. 603 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,720 All I'd done was like that. 604 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,440 Woodpeckers must be hard as fuck. 605 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,000 LAUGHTER 606 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,920 Right. Well, I look forward to seeing these creations 607 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,440 right after these car adverts. 608 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,480 CHRIS:Oh, good. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 609 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello! 610 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,440 Welcome back to the second half of the show. 611 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,360 Can I see lots of pictures of me, please, Little Alex Horne? 612 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,000 Yes. You're vain, but I don't blame you at all. 613 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,080 Beautiful. 614 00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:08,280 Let's see Bridget's lipstick pic. 615 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,480 Here it is. 616 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,520 Ooh! JUDI:That is good. LAUGHTER 617 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,800 SOPHIE: Wow. She's certainly captured my breasts. 618 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,960 LAUGHTER 619 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,960 Well, she said it's a bra and a little dress, 620 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,080 and you're saying, "Where's my crisps? 621 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,480 "I hate my job." 622 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,640 LAUGHTER I feel the same. 623 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,760 I tried to get the essence of you. 624 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,240 I've eaten a lot of crisps. 625 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,200 Yeah. I've got big, I got big tits? 626 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,640 LAUGHTER 627 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,120 Good start. Who's next? 628 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,360 Next, it's Judi's picture. 629 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,840 LAUGHTER 630 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,440 Even you can't justify this. 631 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,760 Let me tell you something. 632 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:50,000 I drawed you, see, on your throne 633 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,480 like the King that you are. 634 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,160 She did use the whole canvas more than the other contestants. 635 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,840 This is what I'm saying. Oh, so we should reward that? 636 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,080 Yes. You could. You could. 637 00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:01,440 What, for drawing a little Lego figure inside a clown head? 638 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,800 LAUGHTER 639 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:09,120 CHRIS: That's the least calm he's been! 640 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,680 You've ignited a fire in Ardal. 641 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,960 If that's what my painting does, then that is true art. 642 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,920 There you go. CHRIS: Oh, my word! 643 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,080 That is... 644 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,800 ..phenomenal bullshit. 645 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,840 JUDI LAUGHS 646 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,280 This is Chris' picture. 647 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,560 AUDIENCE OOHS AND AHS 648 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:28,720 Come on. 649 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,680 I'll put it side by side with the picture he was using. 650 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,920 It's good. He used a good one. SOPHIE: Wow. 651 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,160 APPLAUSE Aw. 652 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,080 I was not expecting this. 653 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,520 Here are Ardal's lips in action. 654 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,040 Aw, this'll do. He did that. 655 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,920 LAUGHTER Yeah. 656 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,680 BRIDGET: That's really good. Now, earlier, Ardal, 657 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,080 you mentioned the word clown. 658 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,200 LAUGHTER 659 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:52,720 One of Britain's great clowns. 660 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,560 Yes. 661 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,000 The most important thing, the stuff that, you know, is the aura, 662 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:02,000 which is not, like, painted, it's just implied. 663 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,800 OK. 664 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,920 And what do you sense of my aura? 665 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,240 Specialness, um... 666 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,280 LAUGHTER SOPHIE:What do you mean, special? 667 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,600 Blimey. I wasn't expecting good stuff. 668 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,880 Right, well... I hope Sophie can drag things down. 669 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:16,320 She created this. 670 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,760 LAUGHTER 671 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:22,440 Ah. She used the portrait behind her as her starting point. 672 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,400 I feel like it's like a sort of Dorian Gray-type picture. 673 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:29,080 So, like, that's the macabre, hideous version of you. 674 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:31,120 And then here... LAUGHTER 675 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:32,920 And then here there's the beautiful man. 676 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,920 Yeah. It doesn't look unlike my grandmother, so... 677 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,960 LAUGHTER 678 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,200 I feel sad if... 679 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,760 LAUGHTER Good. Good. 680 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,840 I mean, I think it's brilliant, 681 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,120 but it doesn't bear any resemblance to you, so... 682 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,000 It should all be about the accuracy. 683 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,920 Yeah. So I should forget the stuff you said about essence? 684 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,600 No, but I mean, essence is real. I mean... 685 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:56,640 LAUGHTER 686 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:00,960 Let's have a look at them all together before I get 687 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,960 any more mind games. Here we have five Gregs. 688 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:08,240 Chris, without the actual painting next to yours. Yeah... 689 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,440 You know. Nah. 690 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,240 Bridget, yours looks like a haunted sex doll. 691 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,040 SHRIEKS OF LAUGHTER 692 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,960 Why is that a bad thing? 693 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,680 Right then, Greg, we need some points. All right. 694 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:25,200 One point to Judi. OK. For throwing lipstick against a canvas. 695 00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:28,760 Between Ardal and Sophie for this. 696 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:29,800 What? 697 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,720 You're genuinely shocked. 698 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,440 Let's give them three points each. 699 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,000 So it's three points to Ardal and Sophie. Correct. 700 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:42,520 Four to...? Four to... 701 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:46,160 ..the very cross sex doll that Bridget created and obviously, 702 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,600 Chris Ramsey, the only artist in the room, takes the five. 703 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,640 Let's have another one. Next up is this... 704 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,880 SPAGHETTI WESTERN TYPE THEME PLAYS 705 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:13,840 DOOR CREAKS 706 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,760 WHISTLING 707 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:32,840 Oh. 708 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,000 SHOWDOWN MUSIC 709 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,680 Ready? 710 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:49,720 I don't know. 711 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,200 Phoar! 712 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,840 Yeah? 713 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,600 "Devise a duel and have the duel with Alex." 714 00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,760 That's you. Line. 715 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:04,400 "You have 20 minutes to devise your duel and have the duel with Alex." 716 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,480 "Most exhilarating duel wins." 717 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,960 "Your time starts now." 718 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,880 Do you think you're going to win the duel? Yeah, probably. 719 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,320 I mean, I usually win duels. 720 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,840 LAUGHTER 721 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,640 Have you had a duel before? 722 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,680 No, I've never duelled anyone. 723 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,120 I didn't think I was going to have to duel you. 724 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,920 Are you good at throwing? Yeah. 725 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,440 No, I don't want that, then. 726 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,320 What are you crap at? DIY. 727 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,560 Gut instinct tells me that Sophie's going to be the best at this purely 728 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,560 because her, "I've never duelled anyone. 729 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,480 I didn't think I was going to have to duel you." 730 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,880 It sounded like an actual Clint Eastwood line. 731 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,680 I'm sorely tempted to just crack on. Let's do it. 732 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:44,840 Let's see 'em. 733 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,960 Well, first of all, we have "Arduel" and "Dueldi". Ardal and Judi. 734 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,000 Here we go. 735 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:52,520 DRAMATIC MUSIC 736 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:59,440 So, Alex, I'm going for a fairly traditional duel, 737 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:00,920 so to start with... 738 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,280 ..I'm going to get the... 739 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,000 Do you want a hand? Yeah, please. Thank you. 740 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:11,200 OK, then. 741 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,080 I challenge you to a duel. 742 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,440 I accept your challenge. 743 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,360 OK, cool. 744 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:23,240 For this exhilarating duel, you're going to have these 745 00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:24,760 roller-skates on. 746 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,320 Oh, yeah. I'd say the roller-skates are size five to eight. 747 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,720 And you are size? Size ten. 748 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:31,880 We've all done that. 749 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,200 Especially if the shoes are hot. 750 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,280 Do you want to choose your weapon? 751 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:40,280 Got bananas or oranges? 752 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,080 Ah! Bananas, please. 753 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,680 OK, I want you to wear an eye patch. 754 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,640 I'll be fine. Thank you. 755 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:49,920 You've got one ball. 756 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,720 You have to hit me in the knee five times. 757 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,600 You can't hit anywhere else on my body. 758 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,400 And where are you going to be hitting me? Free for all. 759 00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,880 You're going to hit me anywhere? 760 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,320 Yeah. OK. 761 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,760 OK, so just go back to back five paces. 762 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:03,840 Yep. 763 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:04,880 One. 764 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,640 SPAGHETTI WESTERN THEME PLAYS 765 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:12,360 I'm...I'm ready. 766 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,160 Once sec, just fixing my hair. 767 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,000 LAUGHTER 768 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,040 Marks. 769 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,160 Get set. SHE SLURPS 770 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,040 Go. 771 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,360 Oh! You can't hit my face. 772 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,720 One. All right. Fire! 773 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,080 Oh, yes! 774 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,240 Oh, you better go and get your ball, babe. 775 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:44,480 Oh! 776 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,200 Nice. 777 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,640 Get in. Can I give up? 778 00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:58,680 Yeah. Yeah. 779 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:01,200 Pretty exhilarating, eh? 780 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:02,400 I enjoyed the duel. 781 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,120 I want my weapons back, though. 782 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,840 That's my lunch. 783 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:08,040 APPLAUSE 784 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,960 Exhilarating. Exhilarating. 785 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,080 I enjoyed the formality of the glove slap. 786 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,160 Yes. Albeit with rubber gloves. Sure. 787 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,360 Then, I mean, basically, we're looking at two grown men 788 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,400 throwing fruit at each other. 789 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,600 Hundreds of years of tradition 790 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:28,640 were clearly there with a slightly contemporary, fruity twist. 791 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,240 Lovely. Yeah. But I liked that 792 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,440 it followed a traditional structure of a duel. OK. 793 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,440 I'll note that down. Which brings us on to Judi. 794 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:43,600 Hmm. Now, my observation is that you have an incredible knack 795 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,880 of normalising bad behaviour. 796 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,280 In that moment, I felt inspired by you. 797 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:53,520 Oh, here we go. 798 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,680 And I had to, you know, go full force with what was best 799 00:33:58,720 --> 00:33:59,840 for me. For me. 800 00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:03,160 And then you shot him multiple times. 801 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,600 That's what you're supposed to do. Whilst guzzling a cocktail, it seems. 802 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,680 That was for energy purposes. 803 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,600 See what I mean? I almost think it was fair. 804 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:15,160 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Shameless. 805 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,200 Right? Who is next, please? 806 00:34:17,240 --> 00:34:20,360 Two more now, it's time for Bridget and Chris. 807 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,680 DRAMATIC FANFARE 808 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,840 Rules are simple-ish. 809 00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:29,080 You've got to be on all fours. 810 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:33,000 You have to throw as many balls as you can into the other player's basket. 811 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:34,040 OK. 812 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,600 DRAMATIC MUSIC 813 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:52,160 SQUEAKING 814 00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,480 I've got stuck. 815 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:07,720 WHISTLE BLOWS 816 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,080 Ah! He's going to come to close. 817 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:16,120 No! Oh, my God. 818 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,320 Oh! Oh! 819 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,760 HE GROANS 820 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:36,600 Yeah! 821 00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:39,480 ROARING 822 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,120 Aaaah! 823 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,080 This is it. This is it. This is not over. 824 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,600 Oh! Oh! Oh! 825 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:55,840 Oh, no. Yah. 826 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,760 SHOUTING 827 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,480 12, 13, 14. 828 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,200 11, 12. No! 829 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:12,800 12. 830 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:14,280 Yes! 831 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,080 You just got basketballed. 832 00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:18,360 I got basketballed. APPLAUSE 833 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,960 It may have been the white vests that made me think you were going 834 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,000 to kiss at some point. 835 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,360 There's a lot of heavy panting. 836 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:28,600 Now, was it a duel, 837 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,040 that's the question? Yeah! 838 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,080 There's two men going at it. 839 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,360 So a game of table tennis is now a duel, all of a sudden. Or, 840 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,080 like a game of turtle ball or whatever they were playing, I mean. 841 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:42,040 Sorry, was there not enough groceries involved for you? 842 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:47,600 Bridget, I feasted my eyes on your opening look, 843 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,000 it was startling. Thank you. 844 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,920 I was exhilarated briefly. 845 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,000 Then, when the duel got going, 846 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,800 maybe the exhilaration dropped off a bit. 847 00:36:55,840 --> 00:37:01,360 Well, there were obviously no horses or donkeys that I could get. 848 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:05,160 And who hasn't craved to see a donkey duel? Right. 849 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:09,280 Three quarters of the first episode has passed us by already, 850 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:10,480 but it's not over yet. 851 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:14,680 Soon someone will take home an old will and a Now 24 cassette. 852 00:37:14,720 --> 00:37:17,800 We've still got it! APPLAUSE 853 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,520 Hello. Welcome back to the final part of the show, where there 854 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:33,040 have been several duels taking place. Yes, I haven't done very well 855 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,400 in them so far and my feet still hurt, but there's 856 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,160 one duel left. Will it be the most exhilarating one? 857 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,600 It's me again versus Sophie Duker. 858 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,280 Hi, Sophie. Hi. 859 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,560 Grab a weapon. These are mine? Those are yours. 860 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,080 Advance. 861 00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,240 DRAMATIC MUSIC 862 00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:06,480 Ah. 863 00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:08,720 I see. 864 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,240 You know why I did that? 865 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,520 Because the pen is mightier than the sword, Alex. 866 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:21,080 And the tongue is mightier than the pen. 867 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:25,000 All right. I'm not going to hit you with a sword or tongue. Or a tongue? 868 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,160 Or a tongue. I'm going to fight you with words. 869 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:28,640 There's a lot of ducks. 870 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,240 Yeah, the ducks are our fans. 871 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,280 Are they? 872 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,440 It's duel time, baby. 873 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:35,720 OK. 874 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,560 RAPS: OK, little Alex Horne 875 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,680 I'm going to defeat you with brains, not brawn. 876 00:38:40,720 --> 00:38:43,840 I'm going to make you wish you'd never been born, 877 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:46,120 and leave you feeling so forlorn. 878 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,360 RAPS: OK, little Sophie Duker. 879 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,440 This is going to go nuclear. 880 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,080 How many verses do we have to do? 881 00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,960 Will one do or do you want two? 882 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,800 OK, I think we need two. 883 00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,280 I think that's the minimum that we have to do. 884 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,200 I think we need to do two verses, at least. 885 00:39:04,240 --> 00:39:08,240 Otherwise, our raps will seem creased and not that good. 886 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:10,800 My name is little Alex. 887 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,040 I'm wearing a cape. 888 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,920 There's only so much of this that you can take. 889 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,320 I don't use cigarettes. 890 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:20,040 I like to vape, so you better read that word on that tape. 891 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:23,600 Caution, you're trying to caution me? Well, little Alex Horne 892 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:24,880 you're going to see. 893 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,440 This rap is going to act like a diuretic, 894 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,440 because right now you're being pretty pathetic. 895 00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:31,800 That's not very nice. 896 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,600 I feel quite bad about this. Yeah. 897 00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:35,960 I don't like threatening you. 898 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,280 You, look, you're smiling a lot. Right. 899 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,800 Instead of doing this, we could just go on a bender if you choose 900 00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,480 this duel to surrender. 901 00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:46,040 I'd like to surrender and not do the duel any more 902 00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,560 because I can't think of any more rhymes. 903 00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:50,640 Bender? Bender. 904 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:52,520 APPLAUSE Great. 905 00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:01,280 8 Mile is no longer the definitive rap chronicle. 906 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,600 I think we both, we came to a place where we realised that violence 907 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:06,680 was not the answer. 908 00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:08,000 It's a modern duel. 909 00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:12,320 She set it up as a duel and she brought it bang up to date. 910 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:16,320 I suppose she did. Yeah. 911 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:17,800 I've never felt older. 912 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,360 I'm sure we can all agree. 913 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,240 A duel has got to be fair. 914 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,400 Well, anyone who forces your horrible little feet 915 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,640 into roller-skates that are too small... 916 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:32,200 ..they're going to take home one point. Oh. One point for Judi Love. 917 00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:34,400 Oh! OK, one to Judi. Ardal. 918 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,360 It was a beautiful, traditionally set up duel, but it was not 919 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,160 in any way exciting. Two points. 920 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,480 OK. Bridget, three points. Right. 921 00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:43,920 It was visually exciting. 922 00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,800 Full stop, end of critique. 923 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:52,840 Now, this is tough, but the truth is I felt that Sophie's, I don't know, 924 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,880 it was just bringing duel bang up to date. 925 00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,360 All right, there you go. Four points to Chris. 926 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,000 Five points. Well done, Sophie Duker. 927 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,600 Let's have a quick look at the scores, shall we? 928 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,320 We've got Ardal still at the foot of the table with seven, 929 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:11,080 and the outright leader is still Chris with 18! Whoa! 930 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,880 OK, everyone, please make your way to the stage for the final task 931 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,520 of the show! 932 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,480 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 933 00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:29,040 Hello. You sweet young prince. 934 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,200 Oh, hi. 935 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:33,840 Who's going to read the task for us? 936 00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,960 Sophia Duker is going to read the task out. Good luck, Sophie. 937 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,640 Thank you. Good luck with reading. 938 00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:42,840 "Count to 13 as a group, each player taking 939 00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:46,880 "it in turns to say a number. Every time you say an odd number, 940 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:48,960 "you must also squat." 941 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,560 Thanks. 942 00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,240 "Every time you say an even number, 943 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,040 "you must also jump. 944 00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,880 "If you make a mistake, you are out. 945 00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:02,080 "If you reach 13 or someone is eliminated, other rules 946 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:03,480 "will be introduced. 947 00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,800 "If the taskmaster thinks you have hesitated for too long, 948 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,200 "you will be eliminated." 949 00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:11,320 If you can make it reasonably obvious what you're doing and try 950 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:13,600 not to squat into your jump, that can happen. 951 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:18,520 Well, good luck, everyone. 952 00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:20,120 Ardal, please start the counting. 953 00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,720 OK, erm, one. 954 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,840 Ardal, that's lovely. If you could do it whilst counting, that would be great. 955 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,240 I think it's your turn now, Bridget. 956 00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:35,440 So is it... So... Just a number really. So quicker? Yes. Two. 957 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,800 Yeah, but no, do it while... Yeah, I did. 958 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,120 But you were... Two. Right. 959 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,200 Lovely. 960 00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:42,320 Three. Four. 961 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:43,520 Five. Six. 962 00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:45,720 Seven. Eight. 963 00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:46,920 Nine. 964 00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:48,600 Ten. 11. 965 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:50,600 12. 13. 966 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:53,600 Lovely stuff, OK. Well, everyone made it through the round. 967 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:55,560 APPLAUSE 968 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:59,440 OK, so we are still having the same rules, it's still squat on odds 969 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,200 and jump on evens, but now you must salute multiples of three, 970 00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:05,520 and if you wouldn't mind pronouncing multiples of four completely wrong. 971 00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,280 Oh! 972 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,400 Four, eight? Well, yes, yes. 973 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:11,680 12. 974 00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:13,880 You wouldn't say eight, that would be pronouncing it correctly. 975 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:15,920 No, I'll say "hango". Yeah, yeah. 976 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,400 OK, so, Bridget, please kick us off. 977 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:22,680 One. 978 00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:24,400 Two. Three. 979 00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:25,600 Fa-fa-four. 980 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:27,920 Five. 981 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,120 What? Hesitation! 982 00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,680 APPLAUSE Oh, my God! 983 00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:35,920 I'm fine. 984 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,280 So the rules are now squat on odds, of course, jump on even, salute 985 00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:42,840 on threes, mispronounce multiples of fours and then all the numbers 986 00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:43,960 must be French. 987 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:45,000 OK! 988 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,920 GROANING All the numbers must be French. 989 00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:49,040 You're going to have to mispronounce 990 00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:50,240 quatre, for example. 991 00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:51,920 Off we go, Chris. 992 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:53,480 Un. 993 00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:54,720 Deux. 994 00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:55,760 Trois! 995 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:57,800 Aquatre. 996 00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,000 MAKES ODD NOISE 997 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:02,640 WHISTLE BLOWS 998 00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:04,120 I'm afraid... 999 00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,120 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 1000 00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:10,440 It wasn't the French. 1001 00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,800 It wasn't French. It was the lack of the salute. 1002 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:14,240 Out she goes. 1003 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,800 OK, so now you must spin around when saying any numbers 1004 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:18,560 that contain the letter T. Oh, I'm so glad I'm out. 1005 00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:20,040 And again, that's in French. 1006 00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,680 God, I'm stressed and I'm nothing to do with it. 1007 00:44:22,720 --> 00:44:25,640 OK. One of the worst days of me life. Yeah, so far. 1008 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:29,240 It's Sophie. 1009 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,120 Unnnnnnn. 1010 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,040 Deux. Trois. 1011 00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:34,240 HE WHISTLES 1012 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,760 I'm afraid there was an unnecessary spin from Ardal. 1013 00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:39,520 So another rule, of course. 1014 00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:40,920 Oh. 1015 00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:42,360 So it's squat on odds, we know that. 1016 00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:44,480 It's jump on evens. We know that. Salute on threes. 1017 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,280 Mispronounce multiples of four. 1018 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,320 All the numbers in French, spin around if they contain the letter T 1019 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,280 in French and then pretend to be sick after saying any number 1020 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:53,800 containing a single letter E! 1021 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,440 OK, ready. Chris. 1022 00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:58,360 Off we go. Un. Deux. 1023 00:44:58,400 --> 00:44:59,520 SHE RETCHES 1024 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:00,880 Lovely. 1025 00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:01,920 Trois. 1026 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:09,800 Quaaaaaa.... 1027 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:15,240 ..aaa... 1028 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:21,040 ..aaa... 1029 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,960 I'm trying to remember the rules. 1030 00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:27,080 Have you finished? 1031 00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,240 ..aaatre. APPLAUSE 1032 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:33,080 PEEP! I'm afraid you weren't sick at the end. 1033 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,800 Aw! It's a shame. 1034 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,720 SHOUTING AND APPLAUSE I was sick! 1035 00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,880 I think she was meant to be sick after the number. 1036 00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:40,800 Aw, so it's over. Oh, no. 1037 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:41,840 Shame. 1038 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:45,440 Why don't you come back down here 1039 00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:47,560 and we'll see how that's affected the final score. 1040 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1041 00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:55,720 More high octane stuff to finish. 1042 00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:57,960 Yes, it definitely made counting more fun, didn't it? 1043 00:45:58,000 --> 00:45:59,720 Didn't it? 1044 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,440 Ardal and Judi share last or fourth place. 1045 00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:07,520 Sophie nearly got it, but in the end he amassed a huge 23 points 1046 00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:09,160 and the winner of the first episode, 1047 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,000 Chris Ramsey. 1048 00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,240 APPLAUSE 1049 00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,040 Chris Ramsey wins. 1050 00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:20,600 Please skip up to collect your skip purse prizes. 1051 00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:23,360 CHEERING 1052 00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:27,880 We hope that you'll join us next week to find out if Judi Love 1053 00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:30,840 can continue to use her gift of the gab to secure 1054 00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:32,760 herself last place. 1055 00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:35,960 It's bye for now, but also it's well done to the first winner 1056 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,080 of this series - Chris Ramsey! 1057 00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:42,320 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 1058 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,480 Subtitles by Red Bee Media