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00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:35,476
Hello, good evening,
and welcome to Taskmaster.
2
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:38,476
I'm Greg Davies, and I will be
guiding you through the next hour
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00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,076
of intense competition.
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00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:43,376
The gladiators of old
needed physical strength, tenacity,
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00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,376
a quick mind, and a will to survive.
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Even at this early stage
in the competition,
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00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,376
our five warriors have
consistently proved
8
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,076
that if this were ancient Rome,
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all of them would already be dead.
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00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,576
Mercifully, it isn't,
and they live on.
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00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,876
With an invisible audience
watching from afar,
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we're nearly ready to begin.
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All that's left to do is to meet
the five competitors Once more.
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They are... Daisy May Cooper!
15
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Johnny Vegas!
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Katherine Parkinson!
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Mawaan Rizwan!
18
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And Richard Herring!
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And still too close for my liking,
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so close I can hear him panting
and whimpering away like a whippet
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who's too scared to ask to be
let out for a wee, it's...
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...Little Alex Horne!
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- Thank you. Hi, everyone. Feeling groovy.
- Oh, God.
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- OK. We've actually received our first email from a viewer.
- OK.
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It's from Shelley, and Shelley asks,
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"Please can you ask Greg Davies
if he's going to be using
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the 'first the worst,
second the best,
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third the one with the hairy chest'
system in the series at all?
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And, if so, what is fourth
and fifth?"
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"Where I live, fourth is a golden
eagle, fifth is a ballerina,
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sixth is a slow donkey,
seventh a sad carpenter,
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eighth a very old child, ninth an
Uber driver, tenth a chicken Kiev."
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- OK, what's her name?
- Shelley Kwonk.
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- Shelley Kwonk?
- That's what it says.
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Pull yourself together,
Shelley Kwonk!
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Right. On with the prize task.
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Please, what's today's category?
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Well, you know as well as I do,
but you still make me say it,
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and that's absolutely fine.
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This week, it's the best thing
that probably has
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a spring in its mechanism.
So, at the end of the episode,
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the winner will probably take
home a load of springs.
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- Richard Herring.
- Yeah?
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What thing have you brought in
that's probably got a spring in it?
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00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,176
I have got something that probably
has a spring in it.
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So, you're not sure if it has the
primary component of the task?
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00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,076
Yeah, I am sure it has the
primary component, which is
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"probably" has a spring in it.
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If it "definitely" has a spring in it,
then it fails.
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- Not sure I like this arrogant...
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...arrogant swagger that Herring's
developed for show three.
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It's a penguin race game that
I bought for my daughter, foolishly.
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- Here it is.
- They're penguins.
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They go up the stairs, and then,
they go "whee" and come down.
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It plays this awful music,
it goes...
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Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah!
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah!
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- Whoo!
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...on and on, never ending until
the blessed release of death.
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- Right.
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There we go. It is wonderful to
watch it in action.
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Unfortunately we can't do that,
'cause I took it apart to see if
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- there's any springs in it.
- OK.
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And we can see here,
there are no springs in it.
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If we look at the original picture,
and if someone asked you,
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"Is there going to be
a spring in that?"
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- You'd look at me and you'd say...
- "Probably."
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- I think it's a strong opener.
- Thank you.
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Katherine. Can you beat
"ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah"?
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No. But it's a similar
sort of thing, because it's a toy.
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And something that I've had
a lot of fun with.
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It's a water pistol.
It's quite a powerful water pistol.
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Do you think it has a spring, Greg?
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Well, you look at it and you
tell me, what do you think?
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Probably. It's got a mechanism where
you pull the thing back and forth.
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I mean, it doesn't,
I've done the research.
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But you'd think it might have one.
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- Yeah. Good. Tick.
- Tick.
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Congratulations. I mean, honestly,
I prefer the penguin thing
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just because it upsets
Richard so much.
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I use it to water the plants,
if that helps.
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- Ah, that has helped a bit.
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That's a lot of pressure
on a chrysanthemum.
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00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,576
Yeah, it's very directional.
But, yeah, I take your point.
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00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,276
But some plants like pressure.
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And you wouldn't water a
chrysanthemum at petal level anyway,
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you'd go...
down to the roots.
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Mawaan, what have you brought in?
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- It's my mattress.
- Here it is.
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This is my actual mattress.
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I've been sleeping on the sofa
the last two days,
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'cause I'm committed to this.
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Does it have a spring in, Mawaan?
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I mean, doesn't it
definitely have a spring in it?
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- Hold on, no, no...
- ...a series of springs in it?
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That looks like a memory foam to me.
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Wait, what do you want to hear?
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- We want to hear it's probably got a...
- Yeah, probably.
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00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:41,176
Is it a memory foam one or is
it a spring mattress?
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It's memory foam.
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Well, then, it doesn't
have a spring in it.
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- She's right.
- No, no, no, no.
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Hoisted by your own petard.
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I will say, we've not cut it open,
so we don't know for sure.
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Rubbish. Five hundred quid,
that's a memory foam.
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- Johnny!
- Yes.
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What have you got that's
probably got a spring in it?
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I have brought a one-armed bandit.
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- Look at that.
- Oh, that's good.
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That's quite a cool prize.
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I know, I know. I've gone out on
a limb on this one, bear that in mind.
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You're going to be gutted
to lose that.
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Absolutely gutted because
it's fully working, as well.
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If we have a family party,
it keeps the children so occupied.
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But I have agreed with my sister
to add a thing at the top of,
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"When the fun stops, stop."
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So, I do appreciate
a five-year-old might just go,
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"This is the life for me.
Who needs sixth form?"
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- So there it is. It's a good thing.
- It's a pretty good thing. Is anyone left?
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Me.
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Here come the big guns.
She's previously brought in a crumpet.
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- Here we go.
- Umbrella.
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- She's brought an umbrella.
- I tell you why...
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...if this was a question
on Family Fortunes,
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I would win with that, and I would've
won with my crumpets.
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I don't think you should come on
here and apply the rules
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of different shows.
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That's no way to win.
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It's true. If this was Blockbusters...
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"If this was Play Your Cards Right,
I'd be cleaning up!"
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Of course it's got a spring in it.
It wouldn't pop open otherwise.
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- Well, some don't. - Some don't?
- Not all have springs.
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Right, look, I think you're
an excellent group of people...
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outside of this round.
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- Last place - obviously, it's the umbrella.
- What?!
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Second-to-last place, goes without
saying, it's the water pistol.
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Oh, God, this is a bit tricky.
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Third place,
the annoying penguin game.
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Three points to Richard Herring.
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That is difficult though, because
I enjoyed the "ah-ah, ah-ah, ah."
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I'm sticking with it.
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Mawaan's mattress - I don't know
why, he just sold it to me.
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It's like voodoo.
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And obviously, the best prize there,
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Johnny's one-armed bandit
that he, so far, gets to keep.
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- Five points to Johnny Vegas!
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- Right! Let's get going.
- Right you are.
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And, just like an extremely
overqualified person,
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this one has 180 degrees.
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- Hello, Alex.
- Hello, Johnny.
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- Right.
- Right.
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Erm, the writing's upside down.
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Er, "Make the best..."
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"Make the best upside down film."
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"You have one hour."
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"Your time starts now."
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00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:32,176
- I read that upside down.
- We were all impressed.
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If you film with
a camera upside down,
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it doesn't make any difference,
does it?
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00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,376
My initial thing is Lionel Richie
walking on the ceiling.
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But I don't know
if we're gonna to be able to...
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Are you going to go away and
formulate the idea further?
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- No. I think we should just do it.
- OK.
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00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,676
Well, I'll tell you -
whenever I want to get myself into
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00:07:56,700 --> 00:08:00,476
a party mood, I go over
to my music centre,
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and I pop on Lionel Richie's
classic dance track,
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"Walking On the Ceiling".
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00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:10,376
Imagine Lionel Richie watching this,
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going, "Is that my legacy?"
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"Walking on the fucking ceiling?"
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"Do you know how many hours I put
into expressing myself, into my music?"
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It was a B-side!
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- What a feeling!
- Yeah, when you walk on the ceiling.
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What a feeling when I'm having
a walk around the ceiling!
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Oh, man.
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00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,776
Good. Looks like we're
on for a classic.
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The first person we're going to see
is Katherine Parkinson,
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who's an excellent actor.
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I'm not an actor, but here we are
anyway, acting together.
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Whoa.
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Hmm.
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Ah!
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- This is nice.
- Is it?
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00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,500
Yes?
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00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,076
- What's wrong?
185
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:11,700
I don't know.
I just feel different somehow.
186
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:18,576
- What do you mean?
- Don't know. I sort of feel a bit...
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00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,800
...all over the place.
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Sort of... upside down.
189
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:28,200
- Haven't you noticed anything different about me lately?
- No.
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00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:32,476
Except your hands are massive.
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00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:38,100
Chin-chin.
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00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,276
Visually stunning. I struggled
a bit with the narrative.
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00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:02,676
I mean, I think it was quite simply
a tale about a couple who...
194
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:05,576
- Oh, they're a couple? Oh.
- Well, why? What did you think?
195
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:10,376
I thought it was two people having
a lovely drink with odd-sized hands.
196
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,076
One of the two people
was mugging away,
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00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,676
'cause they're an absolutely
awful actor.
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00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,676
I mean, there's not a film
you wouldn't wreck.
199
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:23,376
Absolutely wreck. Imagine if
you'd been in Schindler's List.
200
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,976
Yeah, no, I wouldn't have
been great in it.
201
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,276
But I did my best.
Did my best, as always.
202
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,076
You did your best. You ruined it.
203
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:38,676
I thought your chin lent those eyes
a real depth and sensitivity.
204
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:41,476
I think what's a bit upsetting
is that I, erm,
205
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,800
- am more attractive as a chin.
206
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,600
But that's just something I'm gonna deal
with privately.
207
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,376
- Yeah. No, good, thank you.
- Right, who's next?
208
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,876
Well, now it's time for an appeal
from the little-known
209
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:56,500
upside-downism charity
from Johnny Vegas.
210
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,300
Upside-downism...
211
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,800
...currently affects one,
maybe two people in the UK.
212
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:16,376
It can cost sufferers family,
213
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,876
friends,
214
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:20,600
and any chance
of a normal social life.
215
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:28,776
Just £3 a month can provide them
with the vital resources
216
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,776
needed to turn things around...
217
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,700
...whilst still upside down.
218
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,776
To help those less gravitationally
fortunate than ourselves,
219
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:44,676
please text "WHOAH!"
now to 96969696,
220
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:49,676
and help turn that frown
upside, downside...
221
00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:51,000
...down.
222
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:59,176
- Really powerful.
223
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,076
I mean, it speaks of your power
as a film-maker
224
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,276
that I genuinely did start
to feel sorry
225
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,200
for people with upside-downism.
226
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,600
The poor bastards have to
Blu-Tack their fruit to a plate!
227
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,976
It's something I've not gone
public with up until now.
228
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,576
I don't know what to say.
I found it genuinely moving.
229
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,776
That was the idea. Johnny had
a five-minute production meeting
230
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,576
with himself before it. You took it
very seriously, this task.
231
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:22,776
I did.
232
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,376
Was it in that meeting
that you workshopped the phrase
233
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,676
"less gravitationally fortunate"?
234
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,476
OK! I think you've had quite enough
for now, you greedy things.
235
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,876
But if you manage to hold off
for a few minutes,
236
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:38,376
I might let you have some more.
237
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,600
When you come back!
238
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:51,476
Well, hello, there.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
239
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:54,476
Did the adverts make you waste
some more money? Did they?
240
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,300
Think of your kids!
They need your time, not a onesie!
241
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:02,276
Before the break, everything was
a little bit upside down, wasn't it?
242
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:04,576
Yes, it was.
Gosh, it's been confusing!
243
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,576
The people over there
were trying to come up
244
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,076
with the best upside down film.
245
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:10,300
Next up, it's Mawaan Rizwan.
246
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:15,276
Once upon a time,
there was a lonely bat.
247
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:20,476
I'm so lonely, dangling by myself.
I wish I was normal!
248
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,576
But, one day, he met a magic horse.
249
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,476
Oh, hey there, lonely bat.
250
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,800
Just kiss me and you'll be
turned the right way up.
251
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:47,876
Now, you have to kiss me again
so I can be the right way up.
252
00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:50,276
Screw you, horse.
I was just using you.
253
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,276
Why, you selfish motherfucker.
254
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:55,176
And so, they lived happily ever after.
255
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,876
Mic drop!
256
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:59,000
Well, at least one of them did.
257
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:01,976
Wow.
258
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,376
I mean, it's a film about a horse
getting off with a bat.
259
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,076
That's how Covid started, I believe.
260
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:10,176
- I thought it was, er... interesting.
261
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:14,176
There's not previously ever been
a microscope put over bat-horse love,
262
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,676
- as far as I'm aware.
- Yeah. Well, I just thought, you know,
263
00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:19,076
I've got to use my platform
to draw attention to...
264
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,776
...under-represented communities.
265
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,076
It was a good upside-down effect,
wasn't it, at the beginning?
266
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,476
Absolutely incredible.
267
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:25,776
Did that hurt?
268
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,476
Katherine, why do you think
that hurt?
269
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,976
It... I just... I was imagining
myself doing it, and...
270
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,976
But did you think
he was upside down?
271
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,876
- No...
272
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,176
- I was never upside down.
- Oh!
273
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,676
- The camera was upside down.
- I just thought he was upside down.
274
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,676
No, he was standing the right way
up and horse's head...
275
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:43,976
Wouldn't it have been easier
for him to be upside down?
276
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,576
No. We tried that. It wasn't easy.
277
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,276
It would've been hard
for him to walk away.
278
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:49,300
- Yes.
279
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,000
- Next up, it's Daisy.
280
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:57,100
So, it's basically a film
about these chickens.
281
00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:00,400
This is gonna be our sand dune.
282
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,000
That'll look fantastic.
283
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,800
This is gonna look so good!
284
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,100
That's great.
285
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,776
La, la, la, la
286
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,976
La, la, la
287
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,576
La, la, la, la
288
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,876
La, la, la
289
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:38,776
Laaa, la, la, la, la-la-la-la
290
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:51,876
- Wow.
291
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:54,376
What was the task again?
Read the task out.
292
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:58,776
- "Make the best upside down film."
- "Best upside down..."
293
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,476
How does being upside down
play into that?
294
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,076
- Well, everything was upside down...
- Everything was upside down.
295
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,676
And the camera was also upside down,
296
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:08,276
- so it didn't look upside down at all.
- No. That's what I mean.
297
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,976
The problem with it was, it was...
298
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,476
- The right way up.
- I spent a long time on the titles,
299
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:15,576
and then didn't have enough time,
really, for the actual film.
300
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,976
That was one of the problems.
301
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,576
Can't deny, though,
the soundtrack was haunting.
302
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,576
Oh, it was haunting alright.
303
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,676
I'm just imagining you
sort of crouched over the mic,
304
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,376
Waah, wah, wah, waah...
305
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,276
Waah, wah...
306
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:31,076
And then pausing every
now and again to go,
307
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:32,700
"This is gonna be so good."
308
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,276
Absolutely dreadful.
309
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:38,076
Nah, I'm not... Right, that's it.
310
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,676
I'm not gonna talk for the rest of
this series. I'll just sit here.
311
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,176
For the rest of the series?!
312
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,276
If you don't appreciate that,
313
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:47,476
you won't appreciate
anything else that I've done,
314
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,400
'cause that, for me, was my peak.
315
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,376
Who's left? Herring!
316
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,676
Yes, finally. We all know him
as Richard Herring,
317
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,300
so that's why I'm gonna say,
here is Richard Herring.
318
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,200
Ahh!
319
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,776
Ah! Argh!
320
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,176
Hah... aaah!
321
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,500
A-argh!
322
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,376
Argh!
323
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,476
Aargh!
324
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,300
- Wow.
325
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,100
You're off the hook.
326
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,176
The acting during the earthquake...
327
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,576
...was so terrible!
328
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,976
It's not an earthquake,
it's a supernatural event.
329
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,276
So, I end up on the ceiling,
lots of things fall down,
330
00:17:57,300 --> 00:18:00,076
but then the egg falls upwards
so it's just a very confusing...
331
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:02,376
So, what are we supposed
to take from it? That you're...
332
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,277
I'm not gonna explain!
333
00:18:03,301 --> 00:18:07,076
You don't go to the director and go,
"What was that meant to be?"
334
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:09,476
You don't go to Stanley Kubrick and
go, "What was all that about?"
335
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,800
You do if Stanley Kubrick
wants some points!
336
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,376
You can't go wrong in art.
337
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:19,476
I mean, I think you can with
Daisy's, but, actually...
338
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:23,776
I went wrong with spending too much
time on the credits, but that is...
339
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,076
Yeah, but you've got the soundtrack.
340
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:27,576
You've beat us all hands down
with the soundtrack.
341
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,800
Waah, wah, wah, waah...
342
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,176
You still remember it, see?
343
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,076
I was gonna put Daisy last,
344
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:38,476
but Richard trying to defend it's
made me put him last.
345
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:39,876
One point to Richard Herring
for that effort.
346
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:42,176
Hers was... Didn't film it
the other way up!
347
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,376
I know, it's shit!
It's worse than yours, I know!
348
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:47,476
Who's in third place?
349
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,976
Hampered as she was by
your performance,
350
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,776
Katherine takes third place.
Mawaan takes four points.
351
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,276
- Second place.
- I'll take it.
352
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:58,576
But, without question, the most
moving and powerful film...
353
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,280
- ...was Johnny's. Five points.
- Five points again to Johnny Vegas!
354
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:07,176
I can tell you the series
scores at this stage.
355
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,076
The quarter mark of the series.
356
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,476
Katherine's on 30 points,
357
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,776
but there's only five points
separating her from the top people.
358
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,676
Mawaan and Daisy are both on 32,
359
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:18,476
Johnny and Richard both on 35.
360
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:20,276
- Oh, God, I'm last.
361
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:25,376
And in this episode, Johnny is
winning with 10 points to Daisy's 3.
362
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,776
- Lovely.
- Ah.
363
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,276
- OK, what's next?
- We've got some good news,
364
00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:33,276
because this one involves shoving
long things into soft things!
365
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:35,000
- Here we go.
- Ooh.
366
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,300
Wow.
367
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:51,976
I'm upping my game.
368
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,176
At last.
369
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,600
Mm, yeah.
370
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,100
Back in the room of evil delights.
371
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,076
"Put all the spaghetti into
the grapefruit."
372
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:06,776
"The grapefruit may not
leave this room."
373
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,076
Hear that?
374
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:11,676
"Most spaghetti in the
grapefruit wins."
375
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,376
"You have ten minutes."
376
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,776
"For the last eight minutes,
377
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,076
you must stand with both feet
on the spot on the floor."
378
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:19,676
"Your time starts... now."
379
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:21,900
So I've got two minutes
to come up with summat.
380
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,576
I get it. Get the spaghetti in
the grapefruit. Let's crack on.
381
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,576
OK, well, first up, they've both
got such lovely long hair -
382
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,176
it's Katherine and Richard.
383
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,200
Here we go.
384
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,376
Let's just see how easy it is
to push this into a grapefruit.
385
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,076
I mean, that's... Is that what
you're talking about? No?
386
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,176
It's up to you.
387
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,776
I don't think I'm missing anything.
388
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,076
No, that spaghetti's in
the grapefruit, I suppose.
389
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:46,676
But why is it saying it can only be
390
00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:49,776
on the same spot in the last eight
minutes? Is there something I...
391
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,476
Should I be moving now?
392
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,076
Just make a spaghetti hedgehog.
393
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,876
I don't need to leave the room,
I'm staying here.
394
00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:56,476
See how the spot
on the floor is there?
395
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:59,476
I know, I'm in it. Don't even
need to be in it for two minutes.
396
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,376
Why waste two minutes
when it's this easy
397
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,476
- to put spaghetti in your grapefruit?
- OK.
398
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,876
Two at once?
399
00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:06,900
- Oop.
400
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,776
It's gonna look quite,
sort of, artistic anyway.
401
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,000
If nothing else,
this is gonna look good.
402
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,276
- Ah.
403
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:21,000
And we've got ages left, right?
404
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:23,876
Ah, I see.
405
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:26,276
- You see?
- Yeah. Well, I don't see.
406
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:28,576
- You know how it's gone dark?
- Mm-hm?
407
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,976
I'm assuming that's part of the task.
408
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,376
- You've got 8 minutes left, Katherine.
- Yeah, no probs.
409
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:37,076
Ah, Jesus. It gets harder
when you can't see.
410
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:41,376
You're still here, yeah?
411
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,276
- I'm still here.
- Yeah.
412
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:45,500
- Oh, piss on that.
413
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:48,576
Ah, bollocks.
414
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,476
At times like this,
415
00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:52,076
I wish I was ambidextrous.
416
00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:54,376
- Times like this?
- Times like this, yeah.
417
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,840
That's an unbeatable amount
of spaghetti in a grapefruit.
418
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,000
I'd like to see the person
who's done better than that.
419
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,600
Electric.
420
00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:12,176
It was quite... meditative, wasn't it?
421
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,276
Yeah, I felt every second.
422
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:18,676
It was only Katherine, at one point,
inexplicably saying, "Piss on that,"
423
00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:21,400
that stopped me from running
into traffic during it.
424
00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:25,576
Do you want me to tell you how much
they put in the grapefruit?
425
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:26,800
Do what you want.
426
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,376
I can jazz up the measurements,
if you want.
427
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,076
Richard, who was pretty sure
he'd got an unbeatable grapefruit,
428
00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:37,076
147 grams of spaghetti,
or seven mice worth.
429
00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:41,176
Katherine, three mice on a CD,
73 grams.
430
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,876
So, not a lot from Katherine,
because Richard clumped his.
431
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:46,500
Ah, life's futile, though, isn't it?
432
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:50,376
Right, let's draw a line under
the first half of the show.
433
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,776
What's done is done.
Get the kettle on, you.
434
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,900
It's your turn.
No, it's your turn!
435
00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:06,976
Hello, again, and welcome back to
the third part of tonight's show,
436
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,676
where Daisy May Cooper
has generously donated
437
00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:11,600
an average umbrella to the prize pot.
438
00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:15,176
Before the break, we were
in the middle of a task
439
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,276
involving spaghetti and
grapefruit. Am I right?
440
00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:21,176
Yes, and tall and strong and
handsome and mighty.
441
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:25,276
Next up are Johnny and Mawaan.
442
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:28,776
It's OK if I break spaghetti and use
some as experimentation, isn't it?
443
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,900
- OK.
- Gonna see if... OK, cool, worth a shot.
444
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:40,076
You've got a full drawer
just full of zip-seal bags,
445
00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:42,176
which tells me you're up to no good.
446
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,600
- Do be careful with that. Ooh, God...
- I'm just making big holes.
447
00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:49,100
Is it that easy?
448
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,276
40 seconds before you're
not allowed to leave us.
449
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:56,176
Well, I'm not leaving, really, am I?
Let's be honest.
450
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,400
I know, I'll take me hat off!
451
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,276
Is there some, like, forbidden rule
452
00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:03,976
that if any of the pasta snaps
me head gets cut off?
453
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,776
Is there something about to swing
that I should know about?
454
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,440
You've got eight minutes
and five seconds.
455
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:13,600
Could that be the fact...
Oh, you are taking... No!
456
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,476
What the fuck. Wait, is this...
Is this not gone...
457
00:24:22,500 --> 00:24:24,776
Have you got night-time cameras?
458
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:28,476
- What are night-time cameras?
- It's what they use on Most Haunted.
459
00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:32,176
Oh, God, I'm fingering a tangerine.
460
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,076
It's a grapefruit.
461
00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:37,676
- Three and a half minutes left.
- I'm gonna play you at your own game.
462
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:39,176
What... What do you mean?
463
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,076
- Nothing!
464
00:24:41,100 --> 00:24:44,076
- Erm, er...
465
00:24:44,100 --> 00:24:47,576
Where's the hole?
That's it, get your finger right in.
466
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,976
How's it going, Johnny?
467
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,876
You know what? I don't know,
'cause I can't see owt, Alex.
468
00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:55,276
Don't you just hate it when
you run out of grapefruit space?
469
00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:56,876
We've all been there, innit.
470
00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:01,676
All gone.
471
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:03,276
- What's going on?
472
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:08,876
- Those holes are... wide.
473
00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:12,276
It just looks like, you know, that
unshown episode of Tomorrow's World.
474
00:25:12,300 --> 00:25:14,476
The future of agriculture!
475
00:25:16,900 --> 00:25:18,676
Can I ask you both whether
the lights going off
476
00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:20,376
made any difference whatsoever,
477
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,576
other than making you
both sound really creepy?
478
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,276
- It did to me!
- Did it make it worse?
479
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:27,676
Yeah, 'cause it was just the...
480
00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:31,576
The angle of, you know,
penetration with the pasta.
481
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,676
Johnny, because he'd
pre-drilled the fruit,
482
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:37,976
got 407 grams in, two hamsters.
483
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,376
The way I measured them was seeing
how much was left in the jar
484
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,176
and subtracting that from the
original total of 1,000 grams.
485
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,076
There was none left in the jar!
486
00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:49,576
Well, that's because he'd put all of
the spaghetti into the grapefruit.
487
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,576
Well, I always double-check
my measurements,
488
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,076
and so I did then measure the
spaghetti in the grapefruit,
489
00:25:54,100 --> 00:25:59,576
and there was only 442 grams,
so there's 500-odd grams
490
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:00,876
- of spaghetti missing.
491
00:26:00,900 --> 00:26:03,276
- Oh, you might wanna check that.
- Well, I did check it.
492
00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:05,776
I re-listened to the soundtrack
of Mawaan's attempt
493
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,376
and, actually, after I'd finished,
there were some noises.
494
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,720
- No!
- Just listen to what happened when he left the room.
495
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,376
Oh, my.
496
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,876
That is Mawaan's dressing room
there, and that is his bin.
497
00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:25,476
What? This is a stitch-up!
498
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:27,976
- Aren't you shocked?
- That is despicable.
499
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,176
Of all the people here, you're the
last person I would have suspected.
500
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,176
- Really?
- You're the Lance Armstrong of us all.
501
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,576
Is he gonna be disqualified from
the whole thing, then?
502
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,176
I don't know. It's exciting, isn't it?
503
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,576
I don't know, and I'll be
the one to decide.
504
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,276
But I still get paid
for this show, right?
505
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,676
It's not a technical rule-break,
even, it's just...
506
00:26:45,700 --> 00:26:48,076
Was he not technically breaking
the rules then?
507
00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:50,676
No, but it's the sneaky intent
that troubles me.
508
00:26:50,700 --> 00:26:53,376
You put me in the dark!
I'm gonna have some fun.
509
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:54,776
It's not fun to be sneaky!
510
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,576
No. That's a sort of psychopath.
511
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,876
I'm gonna say it.
You're a sneaky pasta snake.
512
00:26:59,900 --> 00:27:02,276
- Yep. Yeah.
- That's what you are, you're a sneaky pasta snake.
513
00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:04,576
But still, he's in the lead.
442 grams in there.
514
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,376
- No, no, no, no.
- What? No, absolutely not!
515
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,476
The thing is, he didn't need to cheat.
516
00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:12,676
But you didn't even dispose of it
in a, sort of, clever way.
517
00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:15,676
I would have, like, flushed it
down the toilet, broken it up.
518
00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:18,976
But now you're displaying the
same sneaky pasta tendencies
519
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,976
as the sneaky pasta snake.
520
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,076
Yeah, but I would have
done it better.
521
00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:24,376
- I would've been a better sneak.
- We haven't seen what you do yet.
522
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:25,976
Well, there is one more person to see,
523
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,776
and I've got quite a good
joke about her name.
524
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,476
Last up, I need to warn you that
she might make the noise
525
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:33,376
of a mourning dove and a happy cat
at the same time.
526
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,776
Yes, Daisy May Coo-Purr.
527
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:39,476
- Let's see it!
- God, I hate you.
528
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:42,476
I'm gonna try and cook it.
529
00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:49,476
Right. Let's get the kettle on it.
530
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:53,876
Oh, if I put in a bowl
and then it will get... yes!
531
00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:55,476
How long have I got till I've got
to be back in?
532
00:27:55,500 --> 00:27:58,076
- One minute.
- OK, that's fine.
533
00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:00,376
Yep, OK.
534
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:01,676
Right.
535
00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:04,076
What we're gonna do is we're just
gonna let this marinade
536
00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:05,400
in the hot water.
537
00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:10,276
Oh, fuck's sake!
538
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:12,376
You didn't say about the lights!
539
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,176
OK. I think I can do this.
540
00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:22,076
I'm making a bit of a mess.
541
00:28:22,100 --> 00:28:24,500
Oh, it's getting softer,
the spaghetti.
542
00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:33,800
Let the hot water penetrate the
spaghetti till it gets less hard.
543
00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:38,100
Ooh, yes!
544
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,776
That's the masterpiece.
545
00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:48,000
Well done, Daisy.
546
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,200
- Goodbye.
- Bye!
547
00:28:56,700 --> 00:29:01,400
I mean, I honestly, until the final image,
thought you'd lost your mind.
548
00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:04,876
She was very calm, in the dark
with a vat of boiling water
549
00:29:04,900 --> 00:29:06,776
and she'd just bit into
a grapefruit...
550
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:11,576
I did. I actually used my teeth
as the, you know, the utensil
551
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,976
to open the grapefruit
and then I got it all out.
552
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:15,977
You scooped the flesh out?
553
00:29:16,001 --> 00:29:19,276
I scooped the flesh out with my bare
hands. I didn't use anything else.
554
00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:21,476
Wow. It's good to have a skill,
isn't it?
555
00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:23,276
She got so much in.
556
00:29:23,300 --> 00:29:27,176
She got 757 grams worth, a third of
a Chihuahua's worth of spaghetti.
557
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:31,276
- And it was in. I mean, I can't fault it.
- So, first place to Daisy on pure weight.
558
00:29:31,300 --> 00:29:32,676
- Of course. Yeah.
- Really? Really!
559
00:29:32,700 --> 00:29:34,476
- And honest!
- Five points.
560
00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:36,776
Katherine obviously in last
place with just 73 grams,
561
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,476
Richard 147 grams,
562
00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:44,076
Johnny 407, Mawaan 442.
There was the rest of it in his bin.
563
00:29:44,100 --> 00:29:46,976
Now, I will give the
gentleman the opportunity
564
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,876
to stand in front of everyone and to
admit that he's a sneaky pasta snake
565
00:29:50,900 --> 00:29:52,276
and to formally apologise.
566
00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:53,976
Yeah, but once you've been labelled
567
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,476
a sneaky pasta snake,
that's it, innit?
568
00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:56,976
You'll always be known as that.
569
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,276
Only for that part you were
a sneaky pasta snake.
570
00:29:59,300 --> 00:30:01,876
Yeah, OK. For that four
minutes of the task...
571
00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:04,176
...I was a sneaky pasta snake.
572
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,076
Right, that's fair. Whoo!
573
00:30:06,100 --> 00:30:08,300
That takes a lot of courage.
574
00:30:11,700 --> 00:30:14,076
Thank you, and this
is a testament to...
575
00:30:14,100 --> 00:30:16,376
Hey, there's always room for
healing, so thank you.
576
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,900
But he still gets those
points, though, yeah?
577
00:30:19,900 --> 00:30:21,876
Which means, at the end of all that,
578
00:30:21,900 --> 00:30:24,100
- Daisy wins the task and five points.
- Well done!
579
00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:27,276
Very good. Last task, please.
580
00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:31,500
Okey dokey Mr Pokey, and this
one involves... target practice.
581
00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:51,800
One shoe!
582
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,276
"Catapult this shoe into the bath
583
00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:03,076
using a home-made
catapult contraption."
584
00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:06,200
"Only your feet may operate
your catapult contraption."
585
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:15,276
"You may not move the bath
or this red green..."
586
00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:19,700
"...and you must build your catapult
contraption on this red green."
587
00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:22,700
Oh, Lord.
588
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,300
"Fastest wins. Your time starts now!"
589
00:31:29,100 --> 00:31:32,476
OK. Let's see what these
crazy catapult cats got up to.
590
00:31:32,500 --> 00:31:34,876
OK, well, let's kick off
with Johnny.
591
00:31:34,900 --> 00:31:38,676
- So I can only use me foot to operate it?
- Yes, please, Johnny.
592
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:40,300
I'll do that.
593
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,600
Just see if I get any
clearance at all.
594
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,176
- Sugar!
595
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,100
Aiii-ya!
596
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,276
Ooh, almost.
597
00:31:53,300 --> 00:31:54,776
Ahh!
598
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:55,800
Argh!
599
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,876
I get a longer,
a wider purchase there...
600
00:32:04,900 --> 00:32:07,100
One, two, three!
601
00:32:09,900 --> 00:32:11,000
Ohh!
602
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,876
- Not bad.
603
00:32:17,900 --> 00:32:20,276
- Do you want me to hold it?
- Naw.
604
00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:22,500
Had an accident at work
that wasn't your fault?
605
00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:35,200
Plan B.
606
00:32:39,700 --> 00:32:40,800
Nope!
607
00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:44,700
This is the one.
608
00:32:47,100 --> 00:32:48,600
Ohh!
609
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:50,976
Oh, for God...
610
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,400
Right. It'll work.
611
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:56,700
Oh, for...
612
00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:01,000
- Yes!
613
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:08,700
At last!
614
00:33:16,100 --> 00:33:17,900
That's a dramatic exit.
615
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,876
For the vast majority
of your attempts,
616
00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:30,876
the last time I'd seen anyone doing
those particular movements,
617
00:33:30,900 --> 00:33:32,776
it was four o'clock in the
morning in Birmingham
618
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,100
and the man had clearly been
drinking Special Brew.
619
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,076
Yeah, we were pleased to
get to the end of that.
620
00:33:39,100 --> 00:33:41,976
How long was Johnny
kicking things in a garden?
621
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,976
Surprisingly swift.
12 minutes, 20 seconds.
622
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,376
- Right.
- And it was only 12 attempts, as well.
623
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:53,176
I would argue, possibly, that the
actual successful shoe-to-bath entry
624
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:54,876
didn't come from a catapult.
625
00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:58,676
It came from a man kicking
a shoe into a bath.
626
00:33:58,700 --> 00:34:01,976
There was no use of leverage,
as far as I can see.
627
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,876
You put a shoe on a rake and then you
kicked the shoe into the bath.
628
00:34:05,900 --> 00:34:08,676
I mean, a catapult is a device that
can throw objects at a high speed.
629
00:34:08,700 --> 00:34:10,076
Yes, and it was taped,
630
00:34:10,100 --> 00:34:11,776
so there was a point of swivel.
631
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,176
There was a point of swivel.
632
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,076
And my ankle was quite badly
swollen by that point.
633
00:34:16,100 --> 00:34:19,876
I'm not surprised. You'd had quite
the night out. Incredible.
634
00:34:19,900 --> 00:34:22,276
OK, only one part left,
but before that...
635
00:34:22,300 --> 00:34:24,500
...there must be adverts!
636
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,576
Right, welcome back to Taskmaster.
637
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,876
No time to lose because we're in
the middle of some catapult-making.
638
00:34:39,900 --> 00:34:41,676
- Right, Alex?
- Right.
639
00:34:41,700 --> 00:34:45,176
And not just any catapult, this is a
catapult to fire a shoe into a bath.
640
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,800
Next up are Daisy and Richard.
641
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,100
Got to operate with my feet, though.
642
00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:01,900
Let's see how it goes.
643
00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:04,700
- Ready?
- Oh, yeah.
644
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,176
Ugh.
645
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:16,700
Right.
646
00:35:21,900 --> 00:35:23,376
Wow.
647
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:24,900
OK, little less pressure.
648
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,960
- Would that count as a catapult?
- It's up to you, Richard.
649
00:35:32,283 --> 00:35:33,839
Go! Oh!
650
00:35:37,300 --> 00:35:38,800
It's going very awry.
651
00:35:41,700 --> 00:35:42,800
Oh!
652
00:35:48,100 --> 00:35:49,500
Come off it!
653
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,476
Yes!
654
00:35:56,900 --> 00:35:58,176
Ye-e-es!
655
00:35:58,200 --> 00:35:59,400
Thanks, Daisy.
656
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:03,400
Tenth time lucky.
657
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:06,976
Ow!
658
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:10,976
It's in.
659
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,700
- Great. Thank you, Richard.
- Thank you very much. - Well done.
660
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,276
Right. Your initial catapult design
was quite elaborate.
661
00:36:20,300 --> 00:36:23,676
- Yeah.
- Yeah. What I wrote down is it started with a good design
662
00:36:23,700 --> 00:36:25,900
and it ended with a man
stamping on a sledge.
663
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,776
It went in. How long did it take?
664
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,276
It took Richard 16 minutes
and 10 seconds.
665
00:36:33,300 --> 00:36:36,676
16 minutes of lonely
sledge-stamping.
666
00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:39,576
Exactly twice as long as it
took Daisy.
667
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,576
Just 8 minutes and 5 seconds for her.
668
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:42,876
That is good.
669
00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:45,776
And not only did it take half
the time, but I have to say that
670
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,176
Daisy May Cooper, to me,
looked like a professional athlete.
671
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,676
Oh, really?
672
00:36:50,700 --> 00:36:54,576
With all of the focus,
as if this was an actual sport.
673
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,376
- I thoroughly enjoyed that.
- Powerful.
674
00:36:56,400 --> 00:37:00,376
Here are the last two, then.
It's Mawaan and Katherine.
675
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,376
What would you use to make
a catapult?
676
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,776
- I can't tell you that.
- It's like a sort of Y-shaped twig.
677
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,876
- Yeah, OK.
- Can you see if there's one in there?
678
00:37:07,900 --> 00:37:09,476
You want me to look out
for a Y-shaped twig?
679
00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:12,476
- Yeah.
- In the... In the woodland area?
680
00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:13,600
Maybe try the house.
681
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,376
That should work.
682
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:18,600
Oh, hang on.
683
00:37:24,100 --> 00:37:25,500
Can you get this off for me?
684
00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:31,576
That's not bad.
685
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:32,800
Yeah!
686
00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:35,276
Will you come and hold this for me?
687
00:37:35,300 --> 00:37:36,300
Yes.
688
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,476
What is it that you have to
do to catapult something, really?
689
00:37:40,500 --> 00:37:41,676
They can hear this.
690
00:37:41,700 --> 00:37:42,700
OK.
691
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,100
Hang on.
692
00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:59,100
Argh! Damn it!
693
00:38:06,100 --> 00:38:08,176
Come on!
694
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,676
So you want me to pull it...
like this? Really?
695
00:38:10,700 --> 00:38:11,876
Oh, God. Ready?
696
00:38:13,352 --> 00:38:14,658
Well, sort of.
697
00:38:14,682 --> 00:38:15,776
Ah!
698
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:16,976
Where did it go?
699
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,700
It's still here. It's still... Oh.
700
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:22,876
I should've stretched.
701
00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:25,100
OK, legs slightly apart, please.
Thank you.
702
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,200
Where is it?
703
00:38:30,100 --> 00:38:31,100
Head!
704
00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:35,100
Come on. Come on. Come on.
705
00:38:36,700 --> 00:38:38,400
It's a very small bathtub, Alex.
706
00:38:41,100 --> 00:38:44,100
Hypothetically what I'd be doing
is something like...
707
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,700
It's a shame that my hands
aren't my feet.
708
00:38:54,100 --> 00:38:56,376
Yes, that's the one!
That's the one! Come on!
709
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:57,876
Argh!
710
00:38:57,900 --> 00:38:59,200
What's it doing over there?
711
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,176
No!
712
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:06,700
One, two, three.
713
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,376
What we do is we stick this here,
714
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:23,576
the shoe should be
sort of like that?
715
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:24,600
Yep.
716
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,576
Oh, no!
717
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:30,600
Come on.
718
00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:34,376
Come on. Come... Ah!
719
00:39:35,401 --> 00:39:37,076
I've stopped the clock.
720
00:39:37,100 --> 00:39:39,400
One, two, three.
721
00:39:47,300 --> 00:39:49,176
Yes!
722
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:50,776
Thank you, Katherine.
723
00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:57,976
Right.
724
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,276
- We should deal with Mawaan first.
- OK.
725
00:40:00,300 --> 00:40:02,876
He had one system
and he stuck to it.
726
00:40:02,900 --> 00:40:04,776
He stuck to it 84 times.
727
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,576
84 attempts. How did he do?
728
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,276
Very badly.
729
00:40:09,300 --> 00:40:12,076
Very badly. Over half an hour.
730
00:40:12,100 --> 00:40:13,376
No. No!
731
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,676
- Well, yeah, 31 minutes...
- You're exaggerating!
732
00:40:15,700 --> 00:40:18,176
I'm not exaggerating.
31 minutes and 12 seconds.
733
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,576
Try and remember that feeling of
crushing disappointment you felt
734
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,476
and let's talk about Katherine's.
735
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,676
I'm pleased with overall how I did.
736
00:40:27,700 --> 00:40:29,476
This is what I've recorded.
737
00:40:29,500 --> 00:40:33,476
You initially shook a TV aerial for
some time on the side of a caravan.
738
00:40:33,500 --> 00:40:36,276
You've then, as far as I can work
out, put some elastic bands
739
00:40:36,300 --> 00:40:38,876
round your feet and lay on your back
740
00:40:38,900 --> 00:40:43,700
while Alex fruitlessly attempted to
fire shoes from your feet.
741
00:40:45,300 --> 00:40:46,876
In all of those attempts,
742
00:40:46,900 --> 00:40:49,500
the shoe did not travel more than
one foot from you.
743
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,576
You've then destroyed a garden arch.
744
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,976
Eventually you put it on a long stick
745
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,276
to lower the shoe into the bath.
746
00:40:57,300 --> 00:40:59,676
- Catapult it into the bath.
- And I got it in.
747
00:40:59,700 --> 00:41:02,376
You vocalised what we all thought,
"It would be easier
748
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,176
if my hands were my feet."
749
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:08,276
I've written it down to go in
the Taskmaster classic quotes.
750
00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:09,676
"It's a shame my hands..."
751
00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:12,476
"It's a shame my hands
aren't my feet."
752
00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:15,276
Almost unbelievably, she was only
a minute and a half slower
753
00:41:15,300 --> 00:41:18,376
than Mawaan. It was 32 minutes
45 seconds.
754
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:19,976
Wow. Give us a summary.
755
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,676
OK, well, Katherine,
last place, one point.
756
00:41:22,700 --> 00:41:25,576
Mawaan, two points. Richard in
third place with three points.
757
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,376
Johnny second with four points,
758
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,876
but the winner, again, was Daisy
May Cooper, who gets five points.
759
00:41:29,900 --> 00:41:32,776
- An athlete. A catapult athlete.
760
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,376
Quick look at the scores before
I send them off, then.
761
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:36,676
Yes, interesting reading.
762
00:41:36,700 --> 00:41:39,276
Katherine is now 10 points
adrift from the leader,
763
00:41:39,300 --> 00:41:41,976
who is Johnny Vegas with 17 points.
764
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,276
It's been an interesting episode.
765
00:41:44,300 --> 00:41:45,676
Alright, please stand up
766
00:41:45,700 --> 00:41:48,400
and head to the stage for the final
task of the show!
767
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,576
- Hello.
- Hello, Greg.
768
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,976
Who is going to read the task,
young man?
769
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,576
Daisy May Cooper's going
to read the task.
770
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,976
Excellent.
771
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:03,376
"Draw a picture of the object
on your card."
772
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:07,776
"You may not speak or communicate
with your team-mates in any way."
773
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:12,176
"You must stay on your spots and not
move the canvas or turntable."
774
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,776
"First team to guess their object wins."
775
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,076
Yeah, so it's a team task.
776
00:42:16,100 --> 00:42:18,476
It's Daisy and Richard versus
Johnny, Katherine and Mawaan.
777
00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:20,776
You've got to draw the item that's
written on your card,
778
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:22,876
fastest team to get it right wins.
779
00:42:22,900 --> 00:42:25,676
We're gonna do this three times,
so you will each get to draw once,
780
00:42:25,700 --> 00:42:28,076
and someone in your team
will draw twice.
781
00:42:28,100 --> 00:42:31,576
There is two points per team
member for each win. OK?
782
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,276
So please look at your cards,
don't let anyone see it,
783
00:42:34,300 --> 00:42:35,376
keep it in your head.
784
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,376
Please start the turntable.
785
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:39,000
You may start drawing on the whistle.
786
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,376
And...
787
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,800
Is it a pair of ears?
788
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,976
- Hypodermic needle! Syringe!
789
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,476
Richard has got it right,
Daisy was drawing a syringe,
790
00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:56,576
so they get two points.
791
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,976
Mawaan was drawing a clarinet.
792
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,376
I was gonna say kangaroo.
793
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,900
It's game two. We now know the rules.
Please look at your cards.
794
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,476
Don't let anyone see it.
795
00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:10,776
You may start drawing
when the whistle blows.
796
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,076
Please start the turntable.
797
00:43:13,100 --> 00:43:15,676
No, I have not blown the whistle!
798
00:43:15,700 --> 00:43:17,976
I've blown the whistle.
799
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,476
Pubic hair!
800
00:43:19,500 --> 00:43:21,776
- Chicken. Diamond.
- Box!
801
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:23,776
A penny-farthing.
802
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:25,976
- Radley Wiggins.
- Rug. Rug in a bedroom.
803
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,076
Cushions.
804
00:43:27,100 --> 00:43:28,976
- Oh, car. Tractor!
- Farm house.
805
00:43:30,704 --> 00:43:32,015
- Combine harvester.
806
00:43:32,039 --> 00:43:35,176
- It is a combine harvester.
- It is lovely work.
807
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,476
Can I have a look at Katherine's?
I didn't see it.
808
00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:39,100
Yeah, we'll just spin that
round to Greg.
809
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,376
Those are the cushions
from a caravanette.
810
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:43,876
Very close. It's a photocopier.
811
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,076
Please rotate spots again.
812
00:43:48,100 --> 00:43:49,876
OK, and prepare yourself
for game three.
813
00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:52,476
They've picked up their pens,
they can now pick up their cards.
814
00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:54,100
Please don't let anyone else see it.
815
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:57,976
Oh.
816
00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,176
You happy?
817
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:00,976
- No.
- Oh.
818
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,500
Do not start drawing till
the whistle blows, please.
819
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:07,476
Good luck.
820
00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:09,776
- You may draw.
821
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:11,376
Ears.
822
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,576
Television.
823
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,576
- Fried egg.
- Hand bag.
824
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,276
They've guessed television,
fried egg and handbag so far, Greg.
825
00:44:19,300 --> 00:44:21,376
- Automobile.
- Face.
826
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,076
Oh, this is just...
827
00:44:23,100 --> 00:44:25,276
You've destroyed each other.
828
00:44:25,300 --> 00:44:27,176
Landscape. Is it landscape? Nature?
829
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,076
- Box. Lunchbox.
- I don't even...
830
00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:30,976
Box! Box! Box!
831
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:35,276
Draw! Draw!
832
00:44:35,300 --> 00:44:36,700
Draw, Johnny!
833
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,300
No box. Box.
Toaster! Toaster!
834
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:44,027
- Erm, Xbox!
- Phone box.
835
00:44:45,651 --> 00:44:47,176
Daisy's lost it.
836
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:48,676
Daisy's is not bad, I promise.
837
00:44:48,700 --> 00:44:50,076
Spaghetti! Spaghetti!
838
00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:51,576
- You're close.
- Pasta!
839
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:53,776
- Matchbox.
- Box!
840
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,376
Bolognese.
841
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,076
Box. Box!
842
00:44:57,100 --> 00:44:58,476
Draw, Johnny!
843
00:44:58,500 --> 00:44:59,976
Johnny, draw!
844
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,676
- Coffin.
- Vermicelli.
845
00:45:01,700 --> 00:45:02,976
It's not a coffin.
846
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,276
Oh, God.
847
00:45:04,300 --> 00:45:05,876
Lasagne.
848
00:45:07,500 --> 00:45:10,027
It is lasagne!
Of course it's lasagne.
849
00:45:11,625 --> 00:45:12,776
How is this lasagne?
850
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,176
'Cause she did, like, spaghetti,
851
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,376
and then I got spaghetti 'cause it
looked like spaghetti.
852
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:17,576
A sandbox.
853
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:18,676
Sandbox?
854
00:45:18,700 --> 00:45:20,276
It was a sandbox.
855
00:45:20,300 --> 00:45:22,676
Right, let's add that up
and put it to the final scores.
856
00:45:22,700 --> 00:45:24,200
Come down here and join me.
857
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,476
- Well, well, well.
- Wowee.
858
00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,276
- That must have changed things.
- Yes.
859
00:45:31,300 --> 00:45:33,076
Johnny Vegas looking a little
bit nervous
860
00:45:33,100 --> 00:45:35,176
about losing a prized
possession perhaps.
861
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,876
I mean, he just needed to get
one of them right
862
00:45:37,900 --> 00:45:41,176
to guarantee keeping his beloved
one-armed bandit.
863
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:44,276
At the end of the episode,
Johnny's on 17 points.
864
00:45:44,300 --> 00:45:46,076
- Is it enough?
865
00:45:46,100 --> 00:45:47,176
It is not enough!
866
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:50,576
The winner of this episode is
Daisy May Cooper with 19 points.
867
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:52,876
- Oh, wow.
868
00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:55,176
Daisy May Cooper wins!
869
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:56,900
Go and do your spring clean-up!
870
00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:03,276
So, what have we learnt today?
871
00:46:03,300 --> 00:46:06,476
If you feel like you've got
nothing in life worth saying,
872
00:46:06,500 --> 00:46:10,176
with the right soundtrack,
anything can have meaning.
873
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:13,376
- Wah-wah-wah-wah
- I wish...
874
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,476
- Wah-wah-wah-wah
- ...my hands...
875
00:46:16,500 --> 00:46:18,776
- Wah-wah-wah-wah
- ...were my feet.
876
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,676
- Wah-wah-wah-wah
- See you again soon for chapter four,
877
00:46:21,700 --> 00:46:26,200
but for now, let's applaud tonight's
winner, Daisy May Cooper!