1 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,440 Is this a joke? 2 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,320 Yeah. 3 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,000 Hmm. Oh! 4 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,640 Oh! 5 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,240 Oh, I like that. 6 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,080 Oh. Wow. Hmm. 7 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,360 Hi. Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster. 8 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,600 People often stop me in the street 9 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,440 and say, "Taking part in this show looks so much fun, Greg. 10 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:47,120 "When are you gonna do a version for non-celebrities?" 11 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,440 And I always give them the same response. 12 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:53,160 I turn my head away and I immediately cross the road. 13 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,160 If they follow me, I contact the police 14 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,320 and I fabricate 15 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,320 a crime that results in bare minimum, 16 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,400 a suspended sentence. 17 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,080 Now, let's meet 18 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,600 the special people who are better than you 19 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,640 and your silly families. 20 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:10,400 They are Alan Davies. 21 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,600 Desiree Burch. 22 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,240 Guz Khan. 23 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,320 Morgana Robinson. 24 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:19,680 And Victoria Coren Mitchell. 25 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,480 And next to me a man who is more than just a PA, 26 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,120 he's a P-A-I-N. 27 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:30,360 And he's always got his hands down his P-A-N-T-S cos he's got an 28 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,280 It's... 29 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,360 little Alex Horne! 30 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,120 Desiree... 31 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,600 Desiree snorted at that one. 32 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,640 When you mentioned the rash. She must know. 33 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,400 She must know about your little pink blotches that you keep secret. 34 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:55,200 Always in spring, isn't it, that it appears. 35 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,200 The blotches? 36 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,000 Yeah. Regular as clockwork. 37 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,600 Oh, look the snowdrops are just fading away... 38 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,400 Yep. Right. 39 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,800 On with the prize task. Got it. 40 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,416 And this time you've asked them to bring in 41 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,720 the most ridiculous thin thing. 42 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,920 Now I've seen some ridiculous thin things in my life 43 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,616 and I'm about to see some more, so it's a great day 44 00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,096 for me, there are five points for the most ridiculous thin thing 45 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,456 and all five of the ridiculous thin things will eventually go home 46 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,760 with tonight's winner. It's great stuff. 47 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,840 Desiree, what ridiculous thin thing will you present to me? 48 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,760 They are these trunks that when you get them wet in 49 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,680 the water they sort of dissipate, they just come off of you. 50 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,040 Dissolving pants from Desiree. 51 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,560 Yes. Here they are. They look like normal pants. 52 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:37,960 Get 'em wet. Get 'em wet. 53 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,640 Oh. They fall apart. 54 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:40,776 It's such a shame that you've 55 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,056 introduced those on this show cos I genuinely would buy those 56 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,560 for Alex. 57 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,560 I'd love for your truth to be revealed to the public. 58 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,760 Truth? Yeah. I've always called it my truth. 59 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,736 That's what I call it. I call it my truth as well. 60 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,360 So a strong opener I would say. OK. 61 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,800 Desiree, a strong opener. Morgana. Dissolving pants? 62 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,800 No, but I have brought with me today 63 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,120 the most ridiculous thin thing that I could find which is 64 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,200 Vic Reeves' beard hair. 65 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,120 Oh. And we can see it, I think, being 66 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,480 plucked from the face of Vic Reeves. 67 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,000 Take your pick. Go on. 68 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,840 Did you get it? Cool. Put it in. Look. 69 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,680 Oh. 70 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:23,120 OK. Wow. You're just in a pub there? 71 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,040 Yeah, just, just met up at Co-op. 72 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,840 The video was ridiculous. So ridiculous. 73 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,680 What you were wearing was ridiculous. Yeah. 74 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,576 The concept's ridiculous. Is the hair ridiculous? 75 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,440 Oh. Hmm. 76 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,480 I was trying to start a heated debate but no-one gives a shit. 77 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,400 Guz. Hi. 78 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,040 Can you beat a hair? Can you beat some dissolving pants? 79 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,200 Who knows? I actually think they're both very good. 80 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:47,360 But I chose this in particular to please one person 81 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,920 and one person only and that is you. 82 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,080 Well done. But... Thank you. Let's have a look. 83 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,880 Here it is. It's a picture of this person. 84 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,760 Oh. Alex Horne as Where's Wally. Let me explain. 85 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,680 If we weren't in a pandemic I'm sure like a, 86 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,840 a genuinely plausible task of his might be 87 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,840 to take us all to a very crowded place, 88 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,040 Alton Towers in the summer, 89 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,080 full of kids all shitting all over the place 90 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:10,640 and he would say in as quickly as you can, "Search for me." 91 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:11,800 On school trips. 92 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,256 You've seen kids shitting themselves? 93 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,080 One kid when we were in primary school on 94 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,416 a log flume - never lived it down. 95 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,680 What was his name? Shitty Sajid. 96 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,080 And he started saying 97 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,200 the name before you even asked him for the name. 98 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,320 Um, Alan. 99 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,720 I've brought in an LP, vinyl LP from the 1980s. 100 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,080 They're thin. They're thin. 101 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,960 Uh, it's a time when I was a student. 102 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,000 It's a time when Nelson Mandela was still in prison, 103 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,600 the Berlin Wall was still up. 104 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:37,920 Keep it light. 105 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,400 And I chose to buy, in 1987, 106 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,600 Popped in, Sold out by Wet Wet Wet. 107 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,480 Here it is. Popped in, Sold out - Wet Wet Wet. 108 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:48,520 Aw. 109 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,480 What's your favourite Wet Wet Wet song, Alex? 110 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,280 I liked it when they were Wet Wet Wet Wet Wet Wet. 111 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,360 You know they had five Wets for a while. 112 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,440 Yeah, then they cut it down. Yeah. 113 00:04:58,480 --> 00:04:59,840 OK, Victoria. 114 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,800 I have brought in something that I made. 115 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:06,000 Oh, Christ. Let's have a look at it. 116 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,320 OK, here it is. There it is. Now. 117 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,400 Oh, oh, well done. 118 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,040 You remember some time ago, I brought in 119 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,800 the most elegant thing beginning with G, 120 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,200 Greedy Esquire, but he's thin. 121 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,280 Shall we just have a look at him? Yes, we can see. 122 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,600 Look there we go. Very thin. 123 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,480 You ridiculed him. I don't find him ridiculous. 124 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:30,640 I don't think he's at all ridiculous but you find him ridiculous. 125 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,480 Let's see you put me last now. 126 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,720 Right. Very good. 127 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,560 So, if you don't mind me saying, somewhat aggressively submitting 128 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,720 Mr Greedy Esquire again for 129 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,800 the most ridiculous thin thing which I... 130 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,520 I'm gonna doff my invisible cap to her. 131 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,000 Checkmate. Or doff it. 132 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,920 Oh, yeah. 133 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,640 Yeah, right this is easy. Sorry, Guz. 134 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,400 Where's Wally, it's not ridiculous enough for me. 135 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,640 I genuinely would expect 136 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:59,520 to see Alex wearing that outfit of his own volition. 137 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,000 I feel mean about this 138 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,280 but a single hair on its own in 139 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,880 isolation's not that ridiculous even though Vic Reeves is one of 140 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,480 the most ridiculous people there is. 141 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,600 Two points to Morgana and her mouth is wide open. 142 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,720 Not gonna make the Wet Wet Wet album 143 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,160 the most ridiculous thing. It's undeniably thin. 144 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,000 It's undeniably ridiculous 145 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,080 and there's a bit of quality on there as well. 146 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,440 Three points to Alan. 147 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,640 Four points to Desiree and really 148 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,120 because I imagined them dissolving off you. 149 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:29,200 Ah. Victoria with an absolute masterful hand by 150 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,840 a poker professional, 151 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,640 she takes the five points with Mr Greedy Esquire. 152 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,040 Yes. Yeah, baby. 153 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,040 All right, then, come on, let's see some action. 154 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,000 Yes. And let's see a spot of DIY action. 155 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,880 These look kind of like billiard balls but not. Billiard balls. 156 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,320 I guess, I don't even know, 157 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,240 what it is in this country actually. 158 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,320 I don't even know. Snooker, sorry, uh, 159 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:06,560 or snucker or snooker. 160 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,480 Put up a shelf for all the Taskmaster's snucker balls, 161 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,240 snooker, whatever. 162 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:17,440 All of Taskmaster's snooker balls must be at the Taskmaster's eyeline. 163 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:21,720 Only the Taskmaster's snooker balls may be on the finished shelf. 164 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,440 Fastest wins. 165 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,120 Your time starts now. 166 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,880 Put up a shelf. Yes, please. 167 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,920 How tall is he? I'm not sure. He seems tall. 168 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,800 Six foot six? 169 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,080 I'm gonna go and Google how, how tall he is. 170 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,960 All right. Can I... have you got a phone? 171 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,080 Yes. 172 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,480 Can you Google for me? 173 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,000 OK. Tell me what to type in? 174 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,320 How tall is Greg? 175 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:45,880 How, how tall is... 176 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,480 Greg... 177 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,160 Greg Davies. 178 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,440 How are we spelling that? 179 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,720 Uh, how tall is Greg from Taskmaster? 180 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,280 OK. 181 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,240 Right, Morgana appears not to be 100% sure who I am. 182 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,120 I am now. 183 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,440 Good. Yeah. 184 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,840 Desiree says snucker. 185 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,440 Like cooker. 186 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,520 It's hard to know which British pronunciations of, 187 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,320 you know, your language are the ones that you follow 188 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:22,120 because is it book, uh, look, snook. 189 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,840 Snucker's not a word in any... 190 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:24,880 Snicker? 191 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,120 ..in any land. OK, fine. Snooker. 192 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,280 What's first on our agenda? 193 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,160 Move over, handy Andy and Craig from Big Brother. 194 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,880 Make way for Handy Morgandy 195 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,680 and Victoria from Only Connect. Here we go. 196 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,120 I don't, I... What? Ugh. 197 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:40,840 Ugh! 198 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,320 You seem quite outraged. 199 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,840 Well, I don't know how you put up a shelf. 200 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,800 A shelf? A shelf, please. 201 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,520 Can I use a shelf that's already been made? 202 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,680 Well, just move that. 203 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,040 Work with me, guys. 204 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,680 Pop that there. 205 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,000 His eyeline is gonna be up there, isn't it? 206 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,280 Oh. 207 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,280 The shelf is up. 208 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,480 Nothing on there but the Taskmaster's balls. 209 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,560 Shall I stop the clock? 210 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,320 Stop. Thank you very much. Thanks, Victoria. 211 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,240 Well, that doesn't work. 212 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,840 Ah! 213 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,520 I think what we need is just a little bit of texture. 214 00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,520 Yeah. OK, please. 215 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,320 Oh, you're an arsehole! 216 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,440 Ohh! 217 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:18,880 Why don't I just do it the other way round? 218 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,040 Look at this. 219 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,280 Oh. 220 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,080 I think this is gonna be all right, you know. 221 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,640 Yeah. 222 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,680 If I don't hear anything drop 223 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,400 I reckon it means they've stayed up there. 224 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,840 Oh, time stopped. Is that it? 225 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,680 I've stopped the clock. 226 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,960 That'll do. 227 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,640 Incredibly competent by Victoria. 228 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,440 Mm-hmm. Found some shelves, 229 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,120 put the snooker balls on the shelf. 230 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,320 Now, the only thing I would notice is it's 231 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,080 a good job you are as short as you are 232 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:04,120 because in the opening seconds you would've chopped your own head off. 233 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,840 Yes. That was the closest we've come to a serious injury on the show. 234 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:11,160 Morgana, similar technique. 235 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,240 Find some shelves, bring them out 236 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:17,080 but then you added smash the shelf to pieces. 237 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,200 You turned it upside down. You called it an arsehole. 238 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,960 Actually I think it was the ball I was calling an arsehole. 239 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,280 But ultimately settled on the cushion system. 240 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,600 Yes, and actually all that work did mean it was closer 241 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,160 to your eyeline, Greg. 242 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,240 Yeah. Cos Victoria's was very quick. Hey. 243 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,360 Ah. 244 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,136 Victoria's was quick but more sort of chin line. 245 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,240 It was 71.5 centimetres. 246 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,280 God, you are tall, aren't you? 247 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,680 Right, that's the end of that part. Be gone. 248 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:54,520 Well, hello. 249 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:57,080 {\an5}Welcome back to Taskmaster. I'm Greg Davies. This is Alex. 250 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,000 Hi, Greg. Hi, guys. Hi, Alan. 251 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,760 Before the break we discovered that 252 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,960 Greg's snooker balls were in desperate need of a shelf 253 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,040 to sit on. 254 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,720 And it had to be at Greg's eyeline. 255 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,040 Victoria and Morgana used shelves to make their shelves. 256 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:13,240 Let's see how Alan and Desiree went about it. Here we go. 257 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,776 What do I get to make the shelf out of? 258 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,880 Whatever you want, Desiree. OK. Might need this. 259 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,800 Have you got anything that's six foot six tall? 260 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,440 I'm six foot two. 261 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,480 Put it on you. 262 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,880 They're not going anywhere. 263 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,920 Fastest wins. I know, I know. Come on. 264 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,920 Six foot's 180, right? 265 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,080 OK. I mean, it's hard to believe that that's where his 266 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,200 eyes are but I think they probably are about there. 267 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,760 This was the initial plan. Yeah. 268 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,320 Sucker butt. OK. 269 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,440 Are you still trying to say snooker ball? Yeah. 270 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,680 I think you could probably hang that up there. 271 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,280 It's a little gravity. 272 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,880 So I'm gonna try 273 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,160 and put it on something. It's a different strategy. Yeah. 274 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,440 Ah. Oh, jebus. 275 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,760 I feel a shelf coming on. I can feel a shelf coming on. 276 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,600 OK. No-one lost an eye. 277 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,640 Do you want me to stop the clock? 278 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,160 I think so. 279 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:26,840 Doing this again? 280 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,040 I think so. 281 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,280 This is the snooker balls in a little bit of soil on that shelf. 282 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,760 So you want me to stop the clock? 283 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,680 Yes, yes, I desperately want you to stop this clock. 284 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,160 I've stopped the clock. I like your shelf. 285 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,680 Thanks. 286 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,680 What I love was the cocked leg system. 287 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,720 Yeah. It felt like, 288 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,600 this was cheating but this was now in play. 289 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,320 Did you forget where you'd put the table? 290 00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,560 "I know that table's here somewhere." 291 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,960 "I guess I'll have to estimate." 292 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,000 Um, Alan, when you got the tray out I thought, 293 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:09,240 "Oh, OK, that's really clever because the balls are contained." 294 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,480 Of a hundred ideas that was the one good one. 295 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,120 And then you attempted 296 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,600 to turn it into some sort of cradle hanging from the fence. 297 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,320 Then you just gave up and you just piled 298 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,216 a load of rubbish up and stuck the balls on top. 299 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,000 Yeah. It was getting dark. 300 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,800 I mean Desiree's the only person who's entered into 301 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,960 the spirit of this really in that she did attempt to build a shelf. 302 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,800 No, I attempted to. 303 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:33,760 Who's left? 304 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,560 It's just Guz Khan left. 305 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:36,920 Yes. Here we go. 306 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,800 That's the cupboard door. 307 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,920 What is the definition of a shelf? 308 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,880 Definition of a shelf? Yeah. 309 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,240 A flat length of wood... Yeah. 310 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,520 ..or other rigid material attached to a wall or forming part of 311 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,840 a piece of furniture that provides a surface for 312 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,600 the storage or display of objects. 313 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,920 Technically, you said attached to a wall, right? 314 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,920 Providing something is touching two surfaces, 315 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,600 technically it's attached. 316 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,040 Quite a big shelf. 317 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,200 You said a flat piece of wood 318 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,120 and you know what's going on above here? 319 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,800 Flat piece of wood, that. 320 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,256 I mean, it's actually more of a challenge to be honest with you. 321 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,760 And go here for you, bro. 322 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,720 I believe that's what you call a shelf. 323 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,800 With all the Taskmaster's snooker balls on. 324 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,360 Stop the clock? Thank you, Guz. 325 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,400 Thank you. 326 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,096 You got the definition of the shelf, you were happy with it. 327 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,000 That was not just a door or a piece of wood. 328 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,400 It had an accompanying rail of... 329 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,320 you might call 'em coat hangers, yeah. 330 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,400 But you can display any number 331 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,920 of objects on those coat hangers like pictures of your family 332 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,040 and friends, G-strings, whatever you want. 333 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,176 It's entirely up to you what you want to display up there. 334 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,000 But of the many things you could display, you went with 335 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,560 pictures of your family and friends or G-strings. 336 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,720 Yeah, just the two sides 337 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,856 of pendulum, innit, like whatever you want up there, right? 338 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,000 OK, yeah. 339 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,440 And then on top of that, 340 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,880 I believe there was a flat surface constructed 341 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:09,320 of wood which had all your balls very nicely displayed 342 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,240 and was also completely attached to the fence. 343 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,160 So that was the result of what we had. 344 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,896 I mean he's absolutely captivating, isn't he? 345 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,040 Hmm. 346 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,920 We all saw with our own eyes he just leaned 347 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,016 a couple of things up against 348 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,160 the fence and balanced some balls on it. 349 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,440 Well, he... And yet I'm totally drawn in by the man. 350 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,160 So Desiree was the slowest, 351 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,240 19 minutes with the cock system. 352 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,000 Morgana 17 minutes. 353 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,600 Alan 13 minutes. 354 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,160 Guz was seven minutes but Victoria just three minutes. 355 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,160 Wow. Very speedy with her dragging the shelves. 356 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,840 Blimey. Yeah. But it was the lowest of the shelves. 357 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,320 The furthest from the eyes. 358 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,016 Well, if you, if you penalise me for that I, 359 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,920 that's literally physical discrimination. 360 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,240 So be it. 361 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,040 So are you gonna change the points at all for, 362 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,280 uh, eye-level-ness? 363 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,680 Give them the five to one points according to speed. 364 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,000 But then... Right. 365 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,040 I think we should score it again according to... 366 00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,520 Eyeline height. ..eyeline height. 367 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,160 Yeah. Then I think we should divide the scores by two. 368 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,200 So your eyeline is 76 inches. 369 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,120 Yeah. Desiree's was 77. 370 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,640 Then we have Alan's 77.5. 371 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,840 Morgana's was 78 inches then Guz's was at 73 inches. 372 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,680 Victoria's 71 and a half so she would just get the one point there. 373 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,920 So these four people all get three points 374 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,200 because Morgana's was rounded up from two and a half. 375 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,000 Lovely. This guy, Alan Davies. 376 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,136 Who just put, piled a load of rubbish against a fence. 377 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,760 He got, he got three and a half points 378 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,136 but we're rounding that up to four points. He wins the task. 379 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,560 Life's not fair. Four points. 380 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,640 OK, do you have some scores? I do. 381 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,000 It's an unfamiliar leaderboard because right at the top 382 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,160 with eight points it's Victoria Coren Mitchell. 383 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,440 Onwards. 384 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,080 Onwards and here's a catchy little task for you. 385 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,600 Hello. Balloons. 386 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,440 Write and perform a 30-second jingle. 387 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:13,600 You must reach into the barrel to find a subject of your jingle. 388 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,200 {\an8}Then pop a balloon to discover 389 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,880 {\an8}the instrument that you must play under your jingle. 390 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,720 Hence the pin. 391 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,160 You have 15 minutes. 392 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,200 Your time starts as soon as you've chosen your subject and instrument. 393 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,240 OK. 394 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,320 Choices, there are choices. 395 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,200 Shall I unwrap it? 396 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,200 Do you know what that is, Alan? 397 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,760 I don't know what it is. Printer of some sort? Nearly. 398 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:41,920 Laminator. 399 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,520 What is this? 400 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,240 I still don't know what this is? Is this shrimp? 401 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,600 Oh! 402 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,000 Scared the shit out of me. 403 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,800 Snakes in a can. Just snakes in a can. 404 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,040 Yeah, your jingle is about the snakes in a can. 405 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,560 Victoria? Yes. Why are you putting them away? 406 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,080 Oh, I don't know, really. 407 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:08,176 For the, it was for the integrity of the product. OK. 408 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,320 Oh! 409 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,360 So annoying. Right I'm gonna leave it there. 410 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,120 What about the integrity of the product? 411 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,920 Well, never mind - it can just be like that. 412 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,920 Don't know why that's funny. 413 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,840 It's on a scroll. 414 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,080 And on the scroll it says "mini drum kit." 415 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:35,520 A mini drum kit. 416 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,256 That is exactly the kind of musical instrument that I would've wanted if 417 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,480 I was doing this task. 418 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,800 Ah. A stylophone. 419 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:42,840 That's a good instrument. 420 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,640 If, you know, if I could play. 421 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,040 Swanee whistle. 422 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,960 Swanee whistle. 423 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,360 Oh, have you played the swanee whistle before? Mm-hm. 424 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,000 I've got a black belt. Have you? 425 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,080 Lovely, uh, differentiation between 426 00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,240 the laminator reactions, I thought. 427 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:02,720 Old father time didn't know what that fangled technology was, did he? 428 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,880 Didn't have the strength the pop a balloon! 429 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,160 Right, shall we? 430 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,480 OK, we have a good range of instruments and products. 431 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,400 Before we see the fruits of their labour, 432 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,240 here is an insight into everyone's jingle-making process. 433 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,440 That's not a swanee whistle. 434 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,800 Oh. OK this is fun, OK. 435 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,600 This, bro, this is... 436 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,320 Oh! 437 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,280 This is not a swanee whistle. Oh, I'm thinking of a kazoo. 438 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,840 How do you change the note? 439 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,200 How do you write a jingle to drums? I am not Phil Collins. 440 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,560 Does it have anything to do with this thing? Yes. 441 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,160 Maybe a bit quicker? 442 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,720 Sticks. Who needs sticks? 443 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,080 Are you meant to change note by turning that? No. 444 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,480 No. Ah! 445 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,680 Why is it funny? 446 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,760 There is nowhere good to put a crabstick that doesn't sound foul. 447 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:32,960 I'll never better it. 448 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,400 Oh, Victoria. 449 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:39,920 Incredible. 450 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,560 Guz, instantly I think yours is gonna be the best. 451 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,360 It... that, that was a lot of fun. 452 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,096 And I, I did end up buying it to take it home. 453 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,160 It's broke now it was broke. 454 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,880 I'm looking forward to seeing everybody's jingles. 455 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,320 Right, as you saw they recorded their music first 456 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,856 and then performed the jingle over the top 457 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,896 and the first one we're gonna see is for snakes in a can 458 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,200 with a swanee whistle to add a touch of musicality 459 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,880 and it's Morgana's attempt. 460 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,080 ♪ Snakes in the can 461 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,840 ♪ Snakes... Snakes in the can 462 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,440 ♪ Gun. Snakes in the can 463 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,640 ♪ Snakes... 464 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,040 ♪ Snakes in the can 465 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,960 ♪ Gun 466 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,360 ♪ Snakes, snakes, gun, gun 467 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,360 ♪ Snakes in a... can. ♪ 468 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,960 It was one fresh vibe, if you don't mind me saying. 469 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,920 May I offer up a small criticism? Yeah. 470 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,280 Would it ha... 471 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:46,880 Would it be fair to say you may have taken 472 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,120 the fun out of the product a little? 473 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,680 Well, I was going for a sort of dirty sort of Berlin vibe, you know. 474 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,520 But that was so cool... 475 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:55,920 Yeah. 476 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,136 ..and I just don't see how it's gonna accompany the product. 477 00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,360 This is where I have 478 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,720 the natural advantage cos I don't think the aim was 479 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,560 to make the jingle the best thing. 480 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,680 It was to make people want the snakes in the can. 481 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,440 Let's see what Victoria, 482 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:13,120 a woman who, seconds before this composition, didn't know what her 483 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,560 instrument was... 484 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,976 Yes, same product, same musical instrument. Different outcome. 485 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,440 Do you know someone who likes a surprise? 486 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:24,440 Buy them snakes in a can. See the joy in their eyes. 487 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:34,440 You had a sunny background designed at great expense, no doubt, 488 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,640 and the demeanour of a funeral director. 489 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,840 I thought I was quite smiley there. 490 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,280 It's less joyful than, 491 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:46,080 "Do you know someone who's been injured in an industrial accident?" 492 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,440 "Need to kill someone?" 493 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,720 That genuinely seems to me to be just jolly. 494 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,480 "Buy them snakes in a can. 495 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,040 "I mean, they can't do anything else after the accident." 496 00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,920 I'm not seeing what you're seeing. 497 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,000 I think that looks like a jolly person going, 498 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,160 "This is going to be fun in a thing." Right. "There it is." 499 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,160 Well, you keep telling yourself that while you nurture your one point. 500 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,520 I can smell three drifting in on the breeze. 501 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,640 It's a fresh, exciting smell and I want it now, 502 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:20,680 so as I vanquish part two's rotting stench with an odour neutraliser, 503 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:25,000 go and watch some adverts and get ready for eau de trois. 504 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,960 Hello. Welcome back to part three of Taskmaster. 505 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,560 ♪ I've missed you and I've kissed you 506 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,920 ♪ And I've tissues inside these shoes. ♪ 507 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,920 Jingles, that's the name of the game. 508 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:51,680 Next up, and trying to sell crabsticks with a drum kit, 509 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:52,720 it's Desiree. 510 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,560 Did you wake up crabby? Who, me? Yes, you. 511 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,680 Well, I woke up crabby... Let me tell you what to do. 512 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,920 Put a crabstick in your face. 513 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,120 We got all the crabs in the same place. 514 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,560 It'll rid you of all your acne and your flab. 515 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,760 The only thing it can't do is be real crab. Don't ask it to. 516 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,120 Banging, man! Banging. 517 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,440 How else are you gonna sell crabsticks? It's not even real crab. 518 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:23,440 Now, that's a jingle. That's a jingle. 519 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,800 I concede that was better than mine. 520 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,280 So the contestants chose 521 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,240 what they wanted behind them on the green screen, 522 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,760 so the skateboarding grandmother, that was all Desiree's inspiration. 523 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,240 Yes, as a child of the '90s, 524 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,920 every commercial had a skateboarding grandma 525 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,680 eating a taco or a Twinkie or something, just like, 526 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,360 super into it so the kids know, 527 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,440 "Even grandma think it's cool, so we'd better get in on this." 528 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,960 Right. Let's see some more. 529 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,280 OK. Next up, it's Alan, accompanied by stylophone. 530 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:51,400 And this is a big one 531 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,880 because we all know the Taskmaster loves his laminator. 532 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,280 Imagine a world without lamination. 533 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:04,360 ♪ Laminate, laminate, just in case you spill 534 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:09,400 ♪ Laminate, laminate, on your granddad's will. ♪ 535 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,040 You've gone for a very specific audience. 536 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,840 It'd be a nice thing, that, 537 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,480 to have playing on a loop outside funeral homes. 538 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,960 During the reading of a will. 539 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,440 Yeah, really good, Alan. Finally... 540 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,280 Finally, someone else is going to try to sell you a laminator. 541 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,920 This time, with drums and me, it's Guz. 542 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,520 Uh. 543 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,320 {\an1}Uh. 544 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,400 Uh, exclusive. 545 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,720 These man here, they wanna jingle. 546 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,680 But you see me, blud, I wanna eat Pringles. 547 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,760 Pringles. Man was single. 548 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,320 Single. Free to mingle. Mingle. 549 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:05,080 Back then my ting used to go tingle. Tingle. Tingle. 550 00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,680 But now I'm like a laminator. 551 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,360 But I was blocked, constipator. 552 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,360 I'm done with my bath. 553 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,680 Ta ta, see you later. 554 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,160 Ta ta, see you later. 555 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,800 So good! 556 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,440 Well, A, you should never use Alex, 557 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,160 he destroyed the urban vibe instantly. 558 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,560 I wanna drill down into the narrative, if I may, a little. 559 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,000 As far as I could tell, 560 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:40,680 you initially reminisced about your life as a single man. Yes! 561 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,560 During which period your penis... 562 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,800 ..your penis regularly tingled. 563 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,680 Yeah, he was eating a lot of Pringles. He was eating Pringles. 564 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,720 He was mingling and his penis was tingling. Yeah. And then... 565 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,120 He laminated his penis. 566 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,600 That's what I got. 567 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:05,080 Would have been a good health and safety thing, I expect... 568 00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:08,880 No, when it comes to the laminator, right at the end of the jingle, 569 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,160 Guz simply rhymed the word laminator with constipator. 570 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,200 Like, it was one of them, it was just... 571 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:18,640 It was one of them? 572 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,800 Well, it was a subtle, just a subtle product placement. 573 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,480 Also, you were playing the drums for 14 minutes 574 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,000 and then wrote it for one. 575 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,480 OK, Greg, we need to mark these jingles. 576 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,520 I don't think I should give anyone one point. 577 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:34,560 Mm-hmm. OK. 578 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,520 I should give Victoria two. 579 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,080 She should thank me for both of them. 580 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,800 I... I thought you were going to say zero. 581 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,240 OK, so two to Victoria. 582 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:43,920 I really loved Guz and Alan. 583 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,840 I'm not convinced that they reached as broad a audience 584 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:48,280 as they might have. 585 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,760 I have to put a gulf between theirs and Victoria, 586 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,840 I'm going to give them both four points. 587 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,480 If you're saying... 588 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:56,920 You think there was more joy 589 00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:01,040 in Alan's discussion of laminating your granddad's will 590 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:05,000 than in my joyful snake exploding out of a can, Alex laughing... 591 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:09,280 I think that's exactly what he's saying. 592 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,680 So the lamination brothers get four points each. That's right. 593 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:16,360 I'm going to give Desiree and Morgana a sweet five points each 594 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,080 because they both made me want to rush out and buy their products. 595 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,720 There we go. Five points to Desiree and Morgana. 596 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,080 What's the last task today, please, Alex? 597 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,000 Well, the last task involves a fiendish dilemma, Greg, 598 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,440 and a big old pipe. 599 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,200 D'oh. 600 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:46,720 Tube and a box. 601 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:47,800 Yes. 602 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:53,320 {\an8}"Either get the pipe through the box..." 603 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,680 "And everything in it." 604 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,920 "Then get the box and everything in it through the pipe." 605 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:03,200 "Or get the box and everything in it through the pipe, 606 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,240 "then get the pipe through the box and everything in it." 607 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,440 "Get the pipe through the box and everything in it, 608 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,120 "then get the box and everything in it through the pipe, 609 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,280 "or get the box and everything in it through the pipe, 610 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,040 "then get the pipe through, 611 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,640 "through the box and everything in it." 612 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,120 "Fastest wins. Your time starts now." 613 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,920 Do you want to talk us through it? 614 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,320 I think Desiree's talked us through it enough, hasn't she? 615 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:29,920 Made it very clear what the rules were. 616 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,480 It was a rough day. You're shoving everything through a thing 617 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,800 or you're shoving the thing through everything else. 618 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,160 Here's what Alan, Desiree and Morgana did. 619 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,280 Oh, you fuckers. 620 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:47,960 Shove the pipe through this. 621 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,440 You're already tights, just remain tights. 622 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:59,320 Cool. OK. So, bing, bong, bing. 623 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,720 It gets harder the smaller it gets. 624 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:12,920 I've gotta get that actually through. 625 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:16,160 Everything's through the pipe. 626 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,600 "Get the box and everything in it through the pipe." 627 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,080 It doesn't have to be in the box. 628 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:24,840 These are definitely footed tights. 629 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,120 Yeah, that's where they like to tear. 630 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,520 I'll just have to get a poker. 631 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,600 How am I gonna get this through this pipe? 632 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,840 Dramatically reduce it in size with a bit of rubber action? 633 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,480 Around, is that through or do I need to adhere these sides now? 634 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:42,920 I think that's good. 635 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:53,240 I think it'll all go through once I begin the great push, you know. 636 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,040 Oh, no, I've got a blockage. 637 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,040 This would be a good thing to, to assist in the great push. 638 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,240 The cardboard tube's stuck. 639 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,480 Well, we haven't had the great push yet, have we? 640 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:09,800 That was part of the great push. 641 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:15,400 Oh, it's always the sponge. Oh, look at that. Done. 642 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,640 Oh, relief. 643 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,920 Stop the clock. 644 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,320 I've stopped it. 645 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,360 Oh, well, I'll be amazed if anyone was slower than that. 646 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:27,760 Good. 647 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,480 What I was most delighted by is, 648 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,480 you've already brought the world "snucker", 649 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,120 you've already brought the world "jebus", 650 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,000 and now a new catchphrase was born. 651 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,800 You probably don't even remember it, but I noted it. 652 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,800 Bing, bong, bing. There it is. 653 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,240 It was the perfect attempt at the task. 654 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,360 She did it quickly as well, 10.15. 655 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,040 Wow. Wow. Oh. 656 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,240 Morgana, it seemed to me that you're a professional 657 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,480 put-things-through-a-pipe and then put-the-pipe-through-things. 658 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:55,720 I like a good prod. 659 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,600 There was even one point where you went "Oh, no, I've got a blockage", 660 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,000 and I thought "Oh, good, things have gone wrong for Morgana 661 00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,040 "on this thing that she's clearly done before" 662 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,840 and you went, "It's always the sponge." 663 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:08,320 She was 12 minutes 48, 664 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,680 so just a couple of minutes slower than Desiree, but still speedy. 665 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,440 By great contrast... Hmm. 666 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,760 ..Alan very slowly put all of the things at once into a pipe 667 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,680 and then made multiple references to the great push. 668 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:27,600 Every time you said it, I thought of, of the Great Leap Forward 669 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,560 where communism was introduced across China. Famously. 670 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,160 And resulted, famously, in millions and millions of deaths. 671 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,680 But I was listening to Wet Wet Wet. 672 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,760 Well, also, before that you were meant to get the pipe 673 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,000 through the box and everything in it. Yeah. 674 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,000 He just put everything in the box 675 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,360 and then just put the pipe through the box. Right. 676 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,200 So he didn't really do the things we wanted him to do. 677 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:52,080 So the great push is one of the most incompetent movements. 678 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:53,120 Yeah, I think so, yeah. 679 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,200 Alex, there's only one part left now. Who do you think's gonna win? 680 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,880 Well, with the fans we have, Greg, 681 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:02,000 there's really only ever one winner. Us. 682 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,520 Hello, welcome back to the final part of the show. 683 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,400 Soon, someone will win big 684 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,160 and by big, I mean a Wet Wet Wet album. 685 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,720 But not yet. Nowhere near it. There are still two people left 686 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:26,120 trying to get the pipe through the box and everything in it, 687 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,240 then the box and everything in it through the pipe, 688 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,280 or the box and everything in it through the pipe, 689 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,680 then the pipe through the box and everything in it. 690 00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:34,520 Here's the last two, Victoria and Guz. 691 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,560 Wait, the box and everything in it through the pipe. 692 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,440 That's got to happen first. Oh. Let me look for a stick. 693 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,200 What's this? 694 00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:45,720 OK. 695 00:34:47,720 --> 00:34:50,160 It's too short. 696 00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:53,280 I'm very resourceful when I'm allowed to leave the table, 697 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,040 am I allowed to leave the table? 698 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,800 All the information's on the task. Back in a minute. OK. 699 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,680 Wooden cutlery is what you have in this place. 700 00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:02,840 Right. 701 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,360 Of course, this is not gonna go because the stick's too short. 702 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,800 Found a spear, brother. Found a spear. 703 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,280 Huh! 704 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,840 Come out, you little shit. 705 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,000 Have you finished? Yeah. 706 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:31,360 Yeah, I've... "And then get the pipe through the box." 707 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,640 OK, I've got a longer stick, a tape measure 708 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,840 and a snack to reward myself in case I get it right. 709 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,200 Right. I'm gonna use the orange for leverage. 710 00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:45,120 Come on! There we go. 711 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:47,600 Lovely. 712 00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:48,880 There. 713 00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,560 I want to confidently say I completed my task. 714 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,360 But I'm not confident about it. 715 00:35:56,400 --> 00:36:00,440 Uh, and now it's gotta go through everything. 716 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,840 This is just for safe purposes. 717 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,600 I think technically, I've finished now. 718 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,760 Shall I stop the clock? Please, yeah. 719 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:15,520 Are you finding this erotic? 720 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,040 Yes. 721 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,160 Pants. 722 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,960 OK. Done. 723 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,040 No, box! No. 724 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,440 Oh, I've started the clock again. 725 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,760 I've stopped the clock again. Bye, Guz. 726 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,880 There. Done. 727 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:36,240 Stop the clock? Yes. 728 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,040 Wow. 729 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:40,920 I don't think Guz ever knew 730 00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,760 if he had completed the task or not. 731 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,840 It never matters with Guz, though, 732 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:47,880 because the flair of the man 733 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,640 suggests it's all gone perfectly to plan. 734 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,560 And the audacity of the, 735 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,600 I'm gonna call it the bazooka move, 736 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:58,360 that you introduced halfway through was absolutely poetry. 737 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,640 Yeah. You know, on a drive home, 738 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:04,560 the wording for this task kept going through my head. 739 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,600 And I don't know how you feel, Victoria, 740 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,920 but I felt like I needed some kind of assessment. 741 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,920 I was on the phone to old colleagues like, 742 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,280 "Yo, man, I've got something wrong with me, 743 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,280 "can you send me for an assessment?" 744 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,320 And they were like, "You got plenty wrong with you, mate." 745 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,360 It was a really stressful time for me. 746 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,480 The show's really messed with my life. I just wanted to say. Yeah. 747 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:27,960 Victoria. 748 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,440 What? 749 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,080 I thought it was excellent. 750 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,240 All right, I have got a couple of questions. 751 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,080 Why did you attach a small fork to the end of the pokey stick? 752 00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,120 Because the stick was too short 753 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,880 to push the things through the pipe, so it needed an extension. 754 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,400 And she did use it to slice up the sponge as well. 755 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,800 Yes, I sliced up the sponge. So very resourceful. Yes. 756 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:53,120 So she used the tools. 757 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,480 She used her little wooden fork. 758 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,040 She popped it on the end 759 00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,400 and most delightfully of all, 760 00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,240 she brought herself a snack to reward herself with afterwards. 761 00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:04,160 It's often like watching a Famous Five story with Victoria, I find. 762 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,720 Well done. Have you put a rat in my dressing room? 763 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,080 What about some timings? 764 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,560 Yeah, well, Guz and Alan don't get any points. 765 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,440 Victoria gets three for her 19 minutes, 16 seconds. 766 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:15,800 Morgana four, 12 minutes 48 767 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,080 but five points to Desiree, with ten minutes 15! 768 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,880 There it is. Well done, mate. 769 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,120 Let's have a quick look at the scores. 770 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,800 In this episode, Victoria's still got a chance of winning. 771 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,960 She's on 13, but Desiree's out in front with 17 points. OK. 772 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:33,480 All right, it's time for you all to head to the stage, please, 773 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,760 for the final task of the show. 774 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,040 Hello, one and all. And hello you. 775 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,400 Would you like Victoria Coren Mitchell to read the task? 776 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,560 Perfect. 777 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:51,240 "Each person must direct their fellow contestants to draw an image. 778 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,520 "The drawing director may only use the following words - 779 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,920 "line, circle, square, big, small, up, 780 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,080 "down, left, right, middle, please, bendy." 781 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,680 At the end of one minute, 782 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:06,240 the drawers must write down what they think the image is. 783 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,320 The drawers will receive one point per correct guess. 784 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,640 The drawing director will also receive one point per correct guess. 785 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,240 Most points overall wins. 786 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,440 In each of your folders, you will find an image. 787 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,160 That's what you're going to be directing the others to draw. 788 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,840 You're not allowed any acting 789 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,400 or miming or saying any other words or noises. 790 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,880 OK, so Alan, please look inside your folder. 791 00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:26,920 Mm-hmm. 792 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:30,120 Your minute to direct the other drawers starts... 793 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:33,440 Line. Bendy. 794 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:35,760 Line, bendy. 795 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,480 Left, up. 796 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:40,080 No actions, please, Alan. 797 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,160 Middle, line. 798 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,520 You're still doing the actions. 799 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,400 Bendy up left, up right. 800 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,960 Bendy up left. 801 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,080 Bendy up right. 802 00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,000 Desiree, please show Greg. 803 00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:00,320 Uh, what I think I've drawn is the, uh, sweaty right boob. 804 00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,440 A sweaty right boob. 805 00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,000 Very specific. 806 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:06,800 Guz, what did Alan tell you to draw? 807 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,600 Part of a colon. Well, that's what I think. 808 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,400 Morgana, what did Alan tell you to draw? 809 00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,720 I've gone for a cheeky vase. 810 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,640 Beautiful vase. And then finally, Victoria. 811 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,120 I've got a witch's nose and teeth. 812 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:21,760 A lovely witch's...! 813 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,320 {\an5}Alan, do you want to reveal your picture? Oh, a banan... Oh. 814 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,200 It was a banana. 815 00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:28,840 What a colossal failure. 816 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,720 Yes, it's not easy, this. 817 00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,840 You're not going to get any points 818 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,320 for hilarious things about body parts. 819 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,040 Desiree, your minute starts... 820 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:41,680 Left line. Uh, down line. 821 00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:44,040 Right line. 822 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,720 Middle line. 823 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,920 Down bendy circle. 824 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,240 Ah, the classic. 825 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:54,920 Middle square, uh, right line, left line. 826 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,360 Right line, left line. 827 00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,520 Uh, left square, right square. 828 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,640 Alan, what did Desiree want you to draw? A car. Beautiful. 829 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,080 Beautiful car. Guz, what did you draw? 830 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,840 Look, man, I dunno what's going on here. 831 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,480 Uh, an angry water cow. 832 00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,080 Oh, he's so cute, though. Morgana, what did you draw? 833 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,280 Well, I thought it sounded like an aeroplane meal. 834 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,560 Like a little bit of chicken and a tiny bit of cheese, maybe, 835 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:23,800 and a bun or something. And finally... I've got a winking man. 836 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:27,360 Ooh. A winking man. Lovely winking man. It's not art nouveau. 837 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,840 Yeah. Oh, beautiful winking man. Desiree? 838 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:33,120 My image was in fact a castle. 839 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,400 Oh. That's so difficult. 840 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:35,680 That was so hard. 841 00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:37,360 Guz, your minute starts... 842 00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,760 Let's, uh, start with a line. Just the words, please. 843 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,640 Huh? Just the words on the list. 844 00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,800 Oh, you bastard. OK. Line. That's more like it. 845 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:48,520 Just down, down line. 846 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,480 You keep saying "just." Uh, middle. 847 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,600 Lovely. Bendy. Middle bendy. 848 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,080 Line. Circle-square. 849 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:58,720 Big, down-left-right. 850 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:02,480 While you do a circle there. Up. 851 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:06,080 Please. Down bendy right, up bendy right. 852 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:10,520 Whoo! Line, middle, bendy circle, please. 853 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,960 My main thing is, did you all have fun doing that? Oh! Yes. 854 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,800 Alan Davies, what did Guz Khan make you draw? 855 00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,560 It's like a, one of those Henry Hoover things. Yeah. 856 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,840 OK. Uh, Desiree, what have you got? 857 00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,720 I think it was the map of a mini golf course. 858 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,400 Right. Morgana, what have you drawn? 859 00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:32,880 I think my money's on a wheelchair. And Victoria? 860 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,960 I've gone with fruit. 861 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,680 Do you want to know what I got it as? Yes, please, Greg. 862 00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:41,120 I've got it as an evil clown's face. 863 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:42,280 Ooh! 864 00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,080 You would have got a point, mate. 865 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,160 It's Greg Davies. 866 00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,760 Oh. Ooh! Sick burn. 867 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,880 Nice diss. 868 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,520 Hello, Morgana. Hiya. 869 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,320 Your minute starts... 870 00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:00,600 Line. 871 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,880 Li-i-ine! 872 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:05,960 Line. 873 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,080 {\an1}Line. 874 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:10,960 Line. 875 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,120 {\an1}Line. 876 00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:14,720 Line. 877 00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:17,200 Line! 878 00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:20,200 Left, down, 879 00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:22,920 right, up. 880 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,240 Middle, please. 881 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,160 I think I'm done. 882 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,440 Alan, what have you drawn? 883 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:32,120 It's a, a fence... 884 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,800 ..or... it's a ladder. 885 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,800 OK, Desiree, what have you drawn? 886 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:43,280 Uh, I've drawn a train track that ends in a brick wall. 887 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:47,480 Guz? Uh, I'm just writing messages to my friends now, so... 888 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,000 OK, Victoria? 889 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,320 I've got Lisa Simpson. Ah. Wowee. 890 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,480 And they were supposed to draw...? 891 00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:57,960 It's actually a harp, guys. 892 00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,760 Alan's was nearly a harp, in a way. 893 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,720 It's no closer to a harp 894 00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:05,360 than "Big up Cov & West Midlands Mandem". 895 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,240 Victoria, you have one minute. 896 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,000 Middle big circle. Lovely. 897 00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:14,080 Left, up line left. 898 00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,320 Line left. 899 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,520 Left, line left, line left. 900 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:23,280 Very calm. Right, line right, 901 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:27,760 line right, line right, line right. 902 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:30,840 Alan, what did Victoria make you draw? 903 00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,280 I added the face. Yeah. It's a spider. 904 00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:34,880 OK, what have you drawn, Desiree? 905 00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:38,080 I can only guess it is a close-up of a cat nose. 906 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,320 Both quite similar. Guz, what have you drawn? 907 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,560 I think Vic was describing 908 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,040 shitty Saj from earlier on in that anecdote 909 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,440 {\an5}and the thing I remember about Saj 910 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,120 {\an5}when he shit himself on the log flume, he was smiling. 911 00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,840 Might have been a grimace. 912 00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:54,400 Morgana, what have you drawn? 913 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,000 {\an5}I think it's a shark with a massive ball sack. 914 00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,560 Victoria? You were supposed to draw... 915 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,960 ..A spider! Oh, my God! 916 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:08,760 Oh, my God! 917 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,680 Alan, Alan, Alan! Wow. 918 00:45:11,720 --> 00:45:14,000 One point to Alan and one point to Victoria. 919 00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,520 Wow. Well done, Alan. 920 00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:18,160 Which means that they come joint first in the task. 921 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,920 Hey, come down, we'll add that to the final scores. 922 00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:22,960 Come on. 923 00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,040 Thanks, Greg. Thank you. 924 00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:29,880 Well, obviously Victoria and Alan were so much better at drawing 925 00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:31,760 and directing the drawing than anyone else. 926 00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:33,680 They won the task, they get five points each. 927 00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:36,400 No one else gets any points cos they didn't do anything right. 928 00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:39,280 But that was so sick. Yeah! Wow. 929 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:42,760 It means it's the closest series in Taskmaster history. 930 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:44,920 Three of them are on 110 points - 931 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,680 that's Desiree, Guz and Alan. Victoria's on 91 932 00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:51,320 and Morgana's on 113, just three points away from the others. 933 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,560 However, thanks to those five points, 934 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:58,240 this episode was won by Victoria Coren Mitchell! 935 00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:02,720 Victoria Coren Mitchell wins. 936 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,560 Please go silly for your thin things! 937 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,400 So what have we learnt today? 938 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,720 We've learnt if you ever find yourself stateside in LA, 939 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,240 you should make an effort by learning a few colloquialisms. 940 00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,240 Why not walk into a bar and shout, 941 00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:20,240 "Jebus, guys, anyone fancy a game of snucker 942 00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:22,840 "and a few jars of bing bong bing?" 943 00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,920 Goodbye, my friends, see you very soon. 944 00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:31,960 For now, here's tonight's winner once more, Victoria Coren Mitchell!