1
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,440
Is this a joke?
2
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,320
Yeah.
3
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,000
Hmm. Oh!
4
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,640
Oh!
5
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,240
Oh, I like that.
6
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,080
Oh. Wow. Hmm.
7
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,360
Hi. Hello,
and welcome to Taskmaster.
8
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,600
People often stop me in the street
9
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,440
and say, "Taking part in this show
looks so much fun, Greg.
10
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:47,120
"When are you gonna do a version
for non-celebrities?"
11
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,440
And I always give them
the same response.
12
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:53,160
I turn my head away
and I immediately cross the road.
13
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,160
If they follow me,
I contact the police
14
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,320
and I fabricate
15
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,320
a crime that results in
bare minimum,
16
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,400
a suspended sentence.
17
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,080
Now, let's meet
18
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,600
the special people who are better
than you
19
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,640
and your silly families.
20
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:10,400
They are Alan Davies.
21
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,600
Desiree Burch.
22
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,240
Guz Khan.
23
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,320
Morgana Robinson.
24
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:19,680
And Victoria Coren Mitchell.
25
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,480
And next to me a man who is
more than just a PA,
26
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,120
he's a P-A-I-N.
27
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:30,360
And he's always got his hands down
his P-A-N-T-S cos he's got an
28
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,280
It's...
29
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,360
little Alex Horne!
30
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,120
Desiree...
31
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,600
Desiree snorted at that one.
32
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,640
When you mentioned the rash.
She must know.
33
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,400
She must know about your little pink
blotches that you keep secret.
34
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:55,200
Always in spring, isn't it,
that it appears.
35
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,200
The blotches?
36
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,000
Yeah. Regular as clockwork.
37
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,600
Oh, look the snowdrops are just
fading away...
38
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,400
Yep. Right.
39
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,800
On with the prize task. Got it.
40
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,416
And this time you've asked them
to bring in
41
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,720
the most ridiculous thin thing.
42
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,920
Now I've seen some ridiculous thin
things in my life
43
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,616
and I'm about to see some more,
so it's a great day
44
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,096
for me, there are five points for
the most ridiculous thin thing
45
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,456
and all five of the ridiculous thin
things will eventually go home
46
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,760
with tonight's winner.
It's great stuff.
47
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,840
Desiree, what ridiculous thin thing
will you present to me?
48
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,760
They are these trunks that when you
get them wet in
49
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,680
the water they sort of dissipate,
they just come off of you.
50
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,040
Dissolving pants from Desiree.
51
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,560
Yes. Here they are.
They look like normal pants.
52
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:37,960
Get 'em wet. Get 'em wet.
53
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,640
Oh. They fall apart.
54
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:40,776
It's such a shame that you've
55
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,056
introduced those on this show cos
I genuinely would buy those
56
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,560
for Alex.
57
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,560
I'd love for your truth
to be revealed to the public.
58
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,760
Truth? Yeah.
I've always called it my truth.
59
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,736
That's what I call it.
I call it my truth as well.
60
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,360
So a strong opener I would say. OK.
61
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,800
Desiree, a strong opener.
Morgana. Dissolving pants?
62
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,800
No, but I have brought with me today
63
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,120
the most ridiculous thin thing that
I could find which is
64
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,200
Vic Reeves' beard hair.
65
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,120
Oh.
And we can see it, I think, being
66
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,480
plucked from the face
of Vic Reeves.
67
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,000
Take your pick. Go on.
68
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,840
Did you get it? Cool.
Put it in. Look.
69
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,680
Oh.
70
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:23,120
OK.
Wow. You're just in a pub there?
71
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,040
Yeah, just, just met up at Co-op.
72
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,840
The video was ridiculous.
So ridiculous.
73
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,680
What you were wearing
was ridiculous. Yeah.
74
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,576
The concept's ridiculous.
Is the hair ridiculous?
75
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,440
Oh. Hmm.
76
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,480
I was trying to start a heated
debate but no-one gives a shit.
77
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,400
Guz. Hi.
78
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,040
Can you beat a hair?
Can you beat some dissolving pants?
79
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,200
Who knows? I actually think they're
both very good.
80
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:47,360
But I chose this in particular
to please one person
81
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,920
and one person only
and that is you.
82
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,080
Well done.
But... Thank you. Let's have a look.
83
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,880
Here it is.
It's a picture of this person.
84
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,760
Oh. Alex Horne as Where's Wally.
Let me explain.
85
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,680
If we weren't in
a pandemic I'm sure like a,
86
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,840
a genuinely plausible task
of his might be
87
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,840
to take us all to
a very crowded place,
88
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,040
Alton Towers in the summer,
89
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,080
full of kids all shitting all over
the place
90
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:10,640
and he would say in as quickly as
you can, "Search for me."
91
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:11,800
On school trips.
92
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,256
You've seen kids
shitting themselves?
93
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,080
One kid when we were in primary
school on
94
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,416
a log flume - never lived it down.
95
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,680
What was his name? Shitty Sajid.
96
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,080
And he started saying
97
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,200
the name before you even asked him
for the name.
98
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,320
Um, Alan.
99
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,720
I've brought in an LP,
vinyl LP from the 1980s.
100
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,080
They're thin. They're thin.
101
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,960
Uh, it's a time when I was
a student.
102
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,000
It's a time when Nelson Mandela was
still in prison,
103
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,600
the Berlin Wall was still up.
104
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:37,920
Keep it light.
105
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,400
And I chose to buy, in 1987,
106
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,600
Popped in, Sold out by Wet Wet Wet.
107
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,480
Here it is. Popped in,
Sold out - Wet Wet Wet.
108
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:48,520
Aw.
109
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,480
What's your favourite Wet Wet Wet
song, Alex?
110
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,280
I liked it when they were
Wet Wet Wet Wet Wet Wet.
111
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,360
You know they had five Wets for
a while.
112
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,440
Yeah, then they cut it down. Yeah.
113
00:04:58,480 --> 00:04:59,840
OK, Victoria.
114
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,800
I have brought in something that
I made.
115
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:06,000
Oh, Christ. Let's have a look at it.
116
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,320
OK, here it is. There it is. Now.
117
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,400
Oh, oh, well done.
118
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,040
You remember some time ago,
I brought in
119
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,800
the most elegant thing beginning
with G,
120
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,200
Greedy Esquire, but he's thin.
121
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,280
Shall we just have a look at him?
Yes, we can see.
122
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,600
Look there we go. Very thin.
123
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,480
You ridiculed him.
I don't find him ridiculous.
124
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:30,640
I don't think he's at all ridiculous
but you find him ridiculous.
125
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,480
Let's see you put me last now.
126
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,720
Right. Very good.
127
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,560
So, if you don't mind me saying,
somewhat aggressively submitting
128
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,720
Mr Greedy Esquire again for
129
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,800
the most ridiculous thin thing which
I...
130
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,520
I'm gonna doff my invisible cap to
her.
131
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,000
Checkmate. Or doff it.
132
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,920
Oh, yeah.
133
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,640
Yeah, right this is easy.
Sorry, Guz.
134
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,400
Where's Wally,
it's not ridiculous enough for me.
135
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,640
I genuinely would expect
136
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:59,520
to see Alex wearing that outfit
of his own volition.
137
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,000
I feel mean about this
138
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,280
but a single hair on its own in
139
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,880
isolation's not that ridiculous even
though Vic Reeves is one of
140
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,480
the most ridiculous people there is.
141
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,600
Two points to Morgana
and her mouth is wide open.
142
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,720
Not gonna make the Wet Wet Wet
album
143
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,160
the most ridiculous thing.
It's undeniably thin.
144
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,000
It's undeniably ridiculous
145
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,080
and there's a bit
of quality on there as well.
146
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,440
Three points to Alan.
147
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,640
Four points to Desiree and really
148
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,120
because I imagined them dissolving
off you.
149
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:29,200
Ah. Victoria with an absolute
masterful hand by
150
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,840
a poker professional,
151
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,640
she takes the five points
with Mr Greedy Esquire.
152
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,040
Yes. Yeah, baby.
153
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,040
All right, then, come on,
let's see some action.
154
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,000
Yes. And let's see
a spot of DIY action.
155
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,880
These look kind of like billiard
balls but not. Billiard balls.
156
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,320
I guess, I don't even know,
157
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,240
what it is in this country actually.
158
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,320
I don't even know.
Snooker, sorry, uh,
159
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:06,560
or snucker or snooker.
160
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,480
Put up a shelf for all
the Taskmaster's snucker balls,
161
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,240
snooker, whatever.
162
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:17,440
All of Taskmaster's snooker balls
must be at the Taskmaster's eyeline.
163
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:21,720
Only the Taskmaster's snooker
balls may be on the finished shelf.
164
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,440
Fastest wins.
165
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,120
Your time starts now.
166
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,880
Put up a shelf. Yes, please.
167
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,920
How tall is he?
I'm not sure. He seems tall.
168
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,800
Six foot six?
169
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,080
I'm gonna go and Google how,
how tall he is.
170
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,960
All right.
Can I... have you got a phone?
171
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,080
Yes.
172
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,480
Can you Google for me?
173
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,000
OK. Tell me what to type in?
174
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,320
How tall is Greg?
175
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:45,880
How, how tall is...
176
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,480
Greg...
177
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,160
Greg Davies.
178
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,440
How are we spelling that?
179
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,720
Uh, how tall is Greg
from Taskmaster?
180
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,280
OK.
181
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,240
Right, Morgana appears not
to be 100% sure who I am.
182
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,120
I am now.
183
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,440
Good. Yeah.
184
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,840
Desiree says snucker.
185
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,440
Like cooker.
186
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,520
It's hard to know which
British pronunciations of,
187
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,320
you know, your language are
the ones that you follow
188
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:22,120
because is it book, uh, look, snook.
189
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,840
Snucker's not a word in any...
190
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:24,880
Snicker?
191
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,120
..in any land.
OK, fine. Snooker.
192
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,280
What's first on our agenda?
193
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,160
Move over, handy Andy and Craig from
Big Brother.
194
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,880
Make way for Handy Morgandy
195
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,680
and Victoria from Only Connect.
Here we go.
196
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,120
I don't, I... What? Ugh.
197
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:40,840
Ugh!
198
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,320
You seem quite outraged.
199
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,840
Well, I don't know how you put up
a shelf.
200
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,800
A shelf? A shelf, please.
201
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,520
Can I use a shelf that's already
been made?
202
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,680
Well, just move that.
203
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,040
Work with me, guys.
204
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,680
Pop that there.
205
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,000
His eyeline is gonna be up there,
isn't it?
206
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,280
Oh.
207
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,280
The shelf is up.
208
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,480
Nothing on there
but the Taskmaster's balls.
209
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,560
Shall I stop the clock?
210
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,320
Stop. Thank you very much.
Thanks, Victoria.
211
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,240
Well, that doesn't work.
212
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,840
Ah!
213
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,520
I think what we need is just
a little bit of texture.
214
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,520
Yeah. OK, please.
215
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,320
Oh, you're an arsehole!
216
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,440
Ohh!
217
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:18,880
Why don't I just do it the other way
round?
218
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,040
Look at this.
219
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,280
Oh.
220
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,080
I think this is
gonna be all right, you know.
221
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,640
Yeah.
222
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,680
If I don't hear anything drop
223
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,400
I reckon it means they've stayed
up there.
224
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,840
Oh, time stopped. Is that it?
225
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,680
I've stopped the clock.
226
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,960
That'll do.
227
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,640
Incredibly competent by Victoria.
228
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,440
Mm-hmm. Found some shelves,
229
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,120
put the snooker balls on
the shelf.
230
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,320
Now, the only thing I would notice
is it's
231
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,080
a good job you are as short as
you are
232
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:04,120
because in the opening seconds you
would've chopped your own head off.
233
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,840
Yes. That was the closest we've come
to a serious injury on the show.
234
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:11,160
Morgana, similar technique.
235
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,240
Find some shelves,
bring them out
236
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:17,080
but then you added smash
the shelf to pieces.
237
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,200
You turned it upside down.
You called it an arsehole.
238
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,960
Actually I think it was
the ball I was calling an arsehole.
239
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,280
But ultimately settled on
the cushion system.
240
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,600
Yes, and actually all that work did
mean it was closer
241
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,160
to your eyeline, Greg.
242
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,240
Yeah.
Cos Victoria's was very quick. Hey.
243
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,360
Ah.
244
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,136
Victoria's was quick
but more sort of chin line.
245
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,240
It was 71.5 centimetres.
246
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,280
God, you are tall, aren't you?
247
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,680
Right, that's the end
of that part. Be gone.
248
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:54,520
Well, hello.
249
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:57,080
{\an5}Welcome back to Taskmaster.
I'm Greg Davies. This is Alex.
250
00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,000
Hi, Greg. Hi, guys. Hi, Alan.
251
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,760
Before the break we discovered that
252
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,960
Greg's snooker balls were in
desperate need of a shelf
253
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,040
to sit on.
254
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,720
And it had to be at Greg's eyeline.
255
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,040
Victoria and Morgana used shelves
to make their shelves.
256
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:13,240
Let's see how Alan and Desiree went
about it. Here we go.
257
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,776
What do I get to make
the shelf out of?
258
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,880
Whatever you want, Desiree.
OK. Might need this.
259
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,800
Have you got anything that's six
foot six tall?
260
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,440
I'm six foot two.
261
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,480
Put it on you.
262
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,880
They're not going anywhere.
263
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,920
Fastest wins.
I know, I know. Come on.
264
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,920
Six foot's 180, right?
265
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,080
OK. I mean, it's hard
to believe that that's where his
266
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,200
eyes are but I think they probably
are about there.
267
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,760
This was the initial plan. Yeah.
268
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,320
Sucker butt. OK.
269
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,440
Are you still trying to say snooker
ball? Yeah.
270
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,680
I think you could probably hang that
up there.
271
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,280
It's a little gravity.
272
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,880
So I'm gonna try
273
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,160
and put it on something.
It's a different strategy. Yeah.
274
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,440
Ah. Oh, jebus.
275
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,760
I feel a shelf coming on.
I can feel a shelf coming on.
276
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,600
OK. No-one lost an eye.
277
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,640
Do you want me to stop the clock?
278
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,160
I think so.
279
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:26,840
Doing this again?
280
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,040
I think so.
281
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,280
This is the snooker balls in
a little bit of soil on that shelf.
282
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,760
So you want me to stop the clock?
283
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,680
Yes, yes, I desperately want you
to stop this clock.
284
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,160
I've stopped the clock.
I like your shelf.
285
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,680
Thanks.
286
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,680
What I love was the cocked leg
system.
287
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,720
Yeah. It felt like,
288
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,600
this was cheating
but this was now in play.
289
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,320
Did you forget where you'd put
the table?
290
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,560
"I know that table's here
somewhere."
291
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,960
"I guess I'll have to estimate."
292
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,000
Um, Alan, when you got the tray out
I thought,
293
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:09,240
"Oh, OK, that's really clever
because the balls are contained."
294
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,480
Of a hundred ideas that was
the one good one.
295
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,120
And then you attempted
296
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,600
to turn it into some sort
of cradle hanging from the fence.
297
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,320
Then you just gave up
and you just piled
298
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,216
a load of rubbish up
and stuck the balls on top.
299
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,000
Yeah. It was getting dark.
300
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,800
I mean Desiree's
the only person who's entered into
301
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,960
the spirit of this really in that
she did attempt to build a shelf.
302
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,800
No, I attempted to.
303
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:33,760
Who's left?
304
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,560
It's just Guz Khan left.
305
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:36,920
Yes. Here we go.
306
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,800
That's the cupboard door.
307
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,920
What is the definition of a shelf?
308
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,880
Definition of a shelf? Yeah.
309
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,240
A flat length of wood... Yeah.
310
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,520
..or other rigid material attached
to a wall or forming part of
311
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,840
a piece of furniture that provides
a surface for
312
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,600
the storage or display of objects.
313
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,920
Technically, you said attached to
a wall, right?
314
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,920
Providing something is touching
two surfaces,
315
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,600
technically it's attached.
316
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,040
Quite a big shelf.
317
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,200
You said a flat piece of wood
318
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,120
and you know what's going on
above here?
319
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,800
Flat piece of wood, that.
320
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,256
I mean, it's actually more of
a challenge to be honest with you.
321
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,760
And go here for you, bro.
322
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,720
I believe that's what you call
a shelf.
323
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,800
With all the Taskmaster's snooker
balls on.
324
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,360
Stop the clock? Thank you, Guz.
325
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,400
Thank you.
326
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,096
You got the definition of
the shelf, you were happy with it.
327
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,000
That was not just a door or
a piece of wood.
328
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,400
It had an accompanying rail of...
329
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,320
you might call 'em coat
hangers, yeah.
330
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,400
But you can display any number
331
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,920
of objects on those coat hangers
like pictures of your family
332
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,040
and friends, G-strings,
whatever you want.
333
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,176
It's entirely up to you what you
want to display up there.
334
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,000
But of the many things you could
display, you went with
335
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,560
pictures of your family
and friends or G-strings.
336
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,720
Yeah, just the two sides
337
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,856
of pendulum, innit, like
whatever you want up there, right?
338
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,000
OK, yeah.
339
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,440
And then on top of that,
340
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,880
I believe there was
a flat surface constructed
341
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:09,320
of wood which had all your balls
very nicely displayed
342
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,240
and was also completely attached
to the fence.
343
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,160
So that was the result
of what we had.
344
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,896
I mean he's absolutely captivating,
isn't he?
345
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,040
Hmm.
346
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,920
We all saw with our own eyes he
just leaned
347
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,016
a couple of things up against
348
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,160
the fence and balanced some balls
on it.
349
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,440
Well, he... And yet I'm totally
drawn in by the man.
350
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,160
So Desiree was the slowest,
351
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,240
19 minutes with the cock system.
352
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,000
Morgana 17 minutes.
353
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,600
Alan 13 minutes.
354
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,160
Guz was seven minutes
but Victoria just three minutes.
355
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,160
Wow. Very speedy with her dragging
the shelves.
356
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,840
Blimey. Yeah. But it was the lowest
of the shelves.
357
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,320
The furthest from the eyes.
358
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,016
Well, if you,
if you penalise me for that I,
359
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,920
that's literally
physical discrimination.
360
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,240
So be it.
361
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,040
So are you gonna change
the points at all for,
362
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,280
uh, eye-level-ness?
363
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,680
Give them the five
to one points according to speed.
364
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,000
But then... Right.
365
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,040
I think we should score it again
according to...
366
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,520
Eyeline height. ..eyeline height.
367
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,160
Yeah. Then I think we should divide
the scores by two.
368
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,200
So your eyeline is 76 inches.
369
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,120
Yeah. Desiree's was 77.
370
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,640
Then we have Alan's 77.5.
371
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,840
Morgana's was 78 inches then
Guz's was at 73 inches.
372
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,680
Victoria's 71 and a half so she
would just get the one point there.
373
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,920
So these four people all get
three points
374
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,200
because Morgana's was rounded up
from two and a half.
375
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,000
Lovely. This guy, Alan Davies.
376
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,136
Who just put, piled a load of
rubbish against a fence.
377
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,760
He got,
he got three and a half points
378
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,136
but we're rounding that up
to four points. He wins the task.
379
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,560
Life's not fair. Four points.
380
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,640
OK, do you have some scores?
I do.
381
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,000
It's an unfamiliar leaderboard
because right at the top
382
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,160
with eight points it's
Victoria Coren Mitchell.
383
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,440
Onwards.
384
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,080
Onwards and here's
a catchy little task for you.
385
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,600
Hello. Balloons.
386
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,440
Write and perform
a 30-second jingle.
387
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:13,600
You must reach into the barrel
to find a subject of your jingle.
388
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,200
{\an8}Then pop a balloon to discover
389
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,880
{\an8}the instrument that you must play
under your jingle.
390
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,720
Hence the pin.
391
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,160
You have 15 minutes.
392
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,200
Your time starts as soon as you've
chosen your subject and instrument.
393
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,240
OK.
394
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,320
Choices, there are choices.
395
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,200
Shall I unwrap it?
396
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,200
Do you know what that is, Alan?
397
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,760
I don't know what it is.
Printer of some sort? Nearly.
398
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:41,920
Laminator.
399
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,520
What is this?
400
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,240
I still don't know what this is?
Is this shrimp?
401
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,600
Oh!
402
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,000
Scared the shit out of me.
403
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,800
Snakes in a can.
Just snakes in a can.
404
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,040
Yeah, your jingle is about
the snakes in a can.
405
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,560
Victoria? Yes.
Why are you putting them away?
406
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,080
Oh, I don't know, really.
407
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:08,176
For the, it was for the integrity of
the product. OK.
408
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,320
Oh!
409
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,360
So annoying.
Right I'm gonna leave it there.
410
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,120
What about the integrity of
the product?
411
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,920
Well, never mind - it can just be
like that.
412
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,920
Don't know why that's funny.
413
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,840
It's on a scroll.
414
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,080
And on the scroll it says
"mini drum kit."
415
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:35,520
A mini drum kit.
416
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,256
That is exactly the kind of musical
instrument that I would've wanted if
417
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,480
I was doing this task.
418
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,800
Ah. A stylophone.
419
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:42,840
That's a good instrument.
420
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,640
If, you know, if I could play.
421
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,040
Swanee whistle.
422
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,960
Swanee whistle.
423
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,360
Oh, have you played
the swanee whistle before? Mm-hm.
424
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,000
I've got a black belt. Have you?
425
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,080
Lovely, uh,
differentiation between
426
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,240
the laminator reactions, I thought.
427
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:02,720
Old father time didn't know what
that fangled technology was, did he?
428
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,880
Didn't have the strength the pop
a balloon!
429
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,160
Right, shall we?
430
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,480
OK, we have a good range
of instruments and products.
431
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,400
Before we see the fruits
of their labour,
432
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,240
here is an insight into everyone's
jingle-making process.
433
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,440
That's not a swanee whistle.
434
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,800
Oh. OK this is fun, OK.
435
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,600
This, bro, this is...
436
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,320
Oh!
437
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,280
This is not a swanee whistle.
Oh, I'm thinking of a kazoo.
438
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,840
How do you change the note?
439
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,200
How do you write a jingle
to drums? I am not Phil Collins.
440
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,560
Does it have anything to do
with this thing? Yes.
441
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,160
Maybe a bit quicker?
442
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,720
Sticks. Who needs sticks?
443
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,080
Are you meant to change note by
turning that? No.
444
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,480
No. Ah!
445
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,680
Why is it funny?
446
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,760
There is nowhere good to put a
crabstick that doesn't sound foul.
447
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:32,960
I'll never better it.
448
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,400
Oh, Victoria.
449
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:39,920
Incredible.
450
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,560
Guz, instantly I think yours is
gonna be the best.
451
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,360
It... that, that was a lot of fun.
452
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,096
And I, I did end up buying it
to take it home.
453
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,160
It's broke now it was broke.
454
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,880
I'm looking forward
to seeing everybody's jingles.
455
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,320
Right, as you saw they recorded
their music first
456
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,856
and then performed
the jingle over the top
457
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,896
and the first one we're gonna see
is for snakes in a can
458
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,200
with a swanee whistle to add
a touch of musicality
459
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,880
and it's Morgana's attempt.
460
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,080
♪ Snakes in the can
461
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,840
♪ Snakes... Snakes in the can
462
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,440
♪ Gun. Snakes in the can
463
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,640
♪ Snakes...
464
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,040
♪ Snakes in the can
465
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,960
♪ Gun
466
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,360
♪ Snakes, snakes, gun, gun
467
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,360
♪ Snakes in a... can. ♪
468
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,960
It was one fresh vibe, if you don't
mind me saying.
469
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,920
May I offer up a small criticism?
Yeah.
470
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,280
Would it ha...
471
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:46,880
Would it be fair
to say you may have taken
472
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,120
the fun out of the product
a little?
473
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,680
Well, I was going for a sort of
dirty sort of Berlin vibe, you know.
474
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,520
But that was so cool...
475
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:55,920
Yeah.
476
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,136
..and I just don't see how it's
gonna accompany the product.
477
00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,360
This is where I have
478
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,720
the natural advantage cos I don't
think the aim was
479
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,560
to make the jingle the best thing.
480
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,680
It was to make people want
the snakes in the can.
481
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,440
Let's see what Victoria,
482
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:13,120
a woman who, seconds before this
composition, didn't know what her
483
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,560
instrument was...
484
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,976
Yes, same product, same musical
instrument. Different outcome.
485
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,440
Do you know someone who likes
a surprise?
486
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:24,440
Buy them snakes in a can.
See the joy in their eyes.
487
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:34,440
You had a sunny background
designed at great expense, no doubt,
488
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,640
and the demeanour of
a funeral director.
489
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,840
I thought I was quite smiley there.
490
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,280
It's less joyful than,
491
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:46,080
"Do you know someone who's been
injured in an industrial accident?"
492
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,440
"Need to kill someone?"
493
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,720
That genuinely seems to me
to be just jolly.
494
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,480
"Buy them snakes in a can.
495
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,040
"I mean, they can't do anything else
after the accident."
496
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,920
I'm not seeing what you're seeing.
497
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,000
I think that looks like a jolly
person going,
498
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,160
"This is going to be fun in a
thing." Right. "There it is."
499
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,160
Well, you keep telling yourself that
while you nurture your one point.
500
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,520
I can smell three drifting
in on the breeze.
501
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,640
It's a fresh, exciting smell
and I want it now,
502
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:20,680
so as I vanquish part two's rotting
stench with an odour neutraliser,
503
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:25,000
go and watch some adverts
and get ready for eau de trois.
504
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,960
Hello. Welcome back
to part three of Taskmaster.
505
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,560
♪ I've missed you
and I've kissed you
506
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,920
♪ And I've tissues
inside these shoes. ♪
507
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,920
Jingles,
that's the name of the game.
508
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:51,680
Next up, and trying to
sell crabsticks with a drum kit,
509
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:52,720
it's Desiree.
510
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,560
Did you wake up crabby?
Who, me? Yes, you.
511
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,680
Well, I woke up crabby...
Let me tell you what to do.
512
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,920
Put a crabstick in your face.
513
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,120
We got all the crabs in
the same place.
514
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,560
It'll rid you of all your acne
and your flab.
515
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,760
The only thing it can't do is be
real crab. Don't ask it to.
516
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,120
Banging, man! Banging.
517
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,440
How else are you gonna sell
crabsticks? It's not even real crab.
518
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:23,440
Now, that's a jingle.
That's a jingle.
519
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,800
I concede that was better than mine.
520
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,280
So the contestants chose
521
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,240
what they wanted behind them
on the green screen,
522
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,760
so the skateboarding grandmother,
that was all Desiree's inspiration.
523
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,240
Yes, as a child of the '90s,
524
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,920
every commercial
had a skateboarding grandma
525
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,680
eating a taco or a Twinkie or
something, just like,
526
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,360
super into it so the kids know,
527
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,440
"Even grandma think it's cool,
so we'd better get in on this."
528
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,960
Right. Let's see some more.
529
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,280
OK. Next up, it's Alan,
accompanied by stylophone.
530
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:51,400
And this is a big one
531
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,880
because we all know
the Taskmaster loves his laminator.
532
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,280
Imagine a world without
lamination.
533
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:04,360
♪ Laminate, laminate,
just in case you spill
534
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:09,400
♪ Laminate, laminate,
on your granddad's will. ♪
535
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,040
You've gone for
a very specific audience.
536
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,840
It'd be a nice thing, that,
537
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,480
to have playing on
a loop outside funeral homes.
538
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,960
During the reading of a will.
539
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,440
Yeah, really good, Alan. Finally...
540
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,280
Finally, someone else is going to
try to sell you a laminator.
541
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,920
This time, with drums and me,
it's Guz.
542
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,520
Uh.
543
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,320
{\an1}Uh.
544
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,400
Uh, exclusive.
545
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,720
These man here, they wanna jingle.
546
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,680
But you see me, blud,
I wanna eat Pringles.
547
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,760
Pringles. Man was single.
548
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,320
Single. Free to mingle. Mingle.
549
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:05,080
Back then my ting used
to go tingle. Tingle. Tingle.
550
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,680
But now I'm like a laminator.
551
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,360
But I was blocked, constipator.
552
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,360
I'm done with my bath.
553
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,680
Ta ta, see you later.
554
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,160
Ta ta, see you later.
555
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,800
So good!
556
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,440
Well, A, you should never use Alex,
557
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,160
he destroyed
the urban vibe instantly.
558
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,560
I wanna drill down into
the narrative, if I may, a little.
559
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,000
As far as I could tell,
560
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:40,680
you initially reminisced about
your life as a single man. Yes!
561
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,560
During which period your penis...
562
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,800
..your penis regularly tingled.
563
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,680
Yeah, he was eating a lot of
Pringles. He was eating Pringles.
564
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,720
He was mingling and his penis was
tingling. Yeah. And then...
565
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,120
He laminated his penis.
566
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,600
That's what I got.
567
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:05,080
Would have been a good health and
safety thing, I expect...
568
00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:08,880
No, when it comes to the laminator,
right at the end of the jingle,
569
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,160
Guz simply rhymed the word laminator
with constipator.
570
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,200
Like, it was one of them,
it was just...
571
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:18,640
It was one of them?
572
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,800
Well, it was a subtle,
just a subtle product placement.
573
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,480
Also, you were playing the drums
for 14 minutes
574
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,000
and then wrote it for one.
575
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,480
OK, Greg,
we need to mark these jingles.
576
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,520
I don't think I should give anyone
one point.
577
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:34,560
Mm-hmm. OK.
578
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,520
I should give Victoria two.
579
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,080
She should thank me
for both of them.
580
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,800
I... I thought you were going to
say zero.
581
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,240
OK, so two to Victoria.
582
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:43,920
I really loved Guz and Alan.
583
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,840
I'm not convinced that they reached
as broad a audience
584
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:48,280
as they might have.
585
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,760
I have to put a gulf between theirs
and Victoria,
586
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,840
I'm going to give them both
four points.
587
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,480
If you're saying...
588
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:56,920
You think there was more joy
589
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:01,040
in Alan's discussion
of laminating your granddad's will
590
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:05,000
than in my joyful snake exploding
out of a can, Alex laughing...
591
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:09,280
I think that's exactly
what he's saying.
592
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,680
So the lamination brothers get
four points each. That's right.
593
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:16,360
I'm going to give Desiree
and Morgana a sweet five points each
594
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,080
because they both made me want to
rush out and buy their products.
595
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,720
There we go.
Five points to Desiree and Morgana.
596
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,080
What's the last task today,
please, Alex?
597
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,000
Well, the last task involves
a fiendish dilemma, Greg,
598
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,440
and a big old pipe.
599
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,200
D'oh.
600
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:46,720
Tube and a box.
601
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:47,800
Yes.
602
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:53,320
{\an8}"Either get the pipe through
the box..."
603
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,680
"And everything in it."
604
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,920
"Then get the box and everything
in it through the pipe."
605
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:03,200
"Or get the box and everything in it
through the pipe,
606
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,240
"then get the pipe through the box
and everything in it."
607
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,440
"Get the pipe through the box
and everything in it,
608
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,120
"then get the box and everything in
it through the pipe,
609
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,280
"or get the box and everything in it
through the pipe,
610
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,040
"then get the pipe through,
611
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,640
"through the box
and everything in it."
612
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,120
"Fastest wins. Your time starts
now."
613
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,920
Do you want to talk us through it?
614
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,320
I think Desiree's talked us through
it enough, hasn't she?
615
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:29,920
Made it very clear what the rules
were.
616
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,480
It was a rough day. You're shoving
everything through a thing
617
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,800
or you're shoving
the thing through everything else.
618
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,160
Here's what Alan,
Desiree and Morgana did.
619
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,280
Oh, you fuckers.
620
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:47,960
Shove the pipe through this.
621
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,440
You're already tights,
just remain tights.
622
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:59,320
Cool. OK. So, bing, bong, bing.
623
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,720
It gets harder the smaller it gets.
624
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:12,920
I've gotta get that
actually through.
625
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:16,160
Everything's through the pipe.
626
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,600
"Get the box and everything in it
through the pipe."
627
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,080
It doesn't have to be in the box.
628
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:24,840
These are definitely footed
tights.
629
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,120
Yeah, that's where they like to
tear.
630
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,520
I'll just have to get a poker.
631
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,600
How am I gonna get this through
this pipe?
632
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,840
Dramatically reduce it in size
with a bit of rubber action?
633
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,480
Around, is that through or do I
need to adhere these sides now?
634
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:42,920
I think that's good.
635
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:53,240
I think it'll all go through once
I begin the great push, you know.
636
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,040
Oh, no, I've got a blockage.
637
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,040
This would be a good thing
to, to assist in the great push.
638
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,240
The cardboard tube's stuck.
639
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,480
Well, we haven't had the great
push yet, have we?
640
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:09,800
That was part of the great push.
641
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:15,400
Oh, it's always the sponge.
Oh, look at that. Done.
642
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,640
Oh, relief.
643
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,920
Stop the clock.
644
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,320
I've stopped it.
645
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,360
Oh, well, I'll be amazed
if anyone was slower than that.
646
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:27,760
Good.
647
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,480
What I was most delighted by is,
648
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,480
you've already brought the world
"snucker",
649
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,120
you've already brought
the world "jebus",
650
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,000
and now a new catchphrase was born.
651
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,800
You probably don't even remember it,
but I noted it.
652
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,800
Bing, bong, bing. There it is.
653
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,240
It was the perfect attempt at
the task.
654
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,360
She did it quickly as well, 10.15.
655
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,040
Wow. Wow. Oh.
656
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,240
Morgana, it seemed to me
that you're a professional
657
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,480
put-things-through-a-pipe and
then put-the-pipe-through-things.
658
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:55,720
I like a good prod.
659
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,600
There was even one point where you
went "Oh, no, I've got a blockage",
660
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,000
and I thought "Oh, good,
things have gone wrong for Morgana
661
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,040
"on this thing
that she's clearly done before"
662
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,840
and you went,
"It's always the sponge."
663
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:08,320
She was 12 minutes 48,
664
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,680
so just a couple of minutes slower
than Desiree, but still speedy.
665
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,440
By great contrast... Hmm.
666
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,760
..Alan very slowly put all of
the things at once into a pipe
667
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,680
and then made multiple references
to the great push.
668
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:27,600
Every time you said it, I thought
of, of the Great Leap Forward
669
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,560
where communism was introduced
across China. Famously.
670
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,160
And resulted, famously, in
millions and millions of deaths.
671
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,680
But I was listening to Wet Wet Wet.
672
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,760
Well, also, before that you were
meant to get the pipe
673
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,000
through the box and everything in
it. Yeah.
674
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,000
He just put everything in the box
675
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,360
and then just put the pipe through
the box. Right.
676
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,200
So he didn't really do
the things we wanted him to do.
677
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:52,080
So the great push is one of
the most incompetent movements.
678
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:53,120
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
679
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,200
Alex, there's only one part left
now. Who do you think's gonna win?
680
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,880
Well, with the fans we have, Greg,
681
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:02,000
there's really only ever one winner.
Us.
682
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,520
Hello, welcome back to
the final part of the show.
683
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,400
Soon, someone will win big
684
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,160
and by big, I mean
a Wet Wet Wet album.
685
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,720
But not yet. Nowhere near it.
There are still two people left
686
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:26,120
trying to get the pipe through the
box and everything in it,
687
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,240
then the box and everything in it
through the pipe,
688
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,280
or the box and everything in it
through the pipe,
689
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,680
then the pipe through the box
and everything in it.
690
00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:34,520
Here's the last two,
Victoria and Guz.
691
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,560
Wait, the box and everything in it
through the pipe.
692
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,440
That's got to happen first.
Oh. Let me look for a stick.
693
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,200
What's this?
694
00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:45,720
OK.
695
00:34:47,720 --> 00:34:50,160
It's too short.
696
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:53,280
I'm very resourceful when
I'm allowed to leave the table,
697
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,040
am I allowed to leave the table?
698
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,800
All the information's on the task.
Back in a minute. OK.
699
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,680
Wooden cutlery is what you have
in this place.
700
00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:02,840
Right.
701
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,360
Of course, this is not gonna
go because the stick's too short.
702
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,800
Found a spear, brother.
Found a spear.
703
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,280
Huh!
704
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,840
Come out, you little shit.
705
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,000
Have you finished? Yeah.
706
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:31,360
Yeah, I've... "And then get
the pipe through the box."
707
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,640
OK, I've got a longer stick,
a tape measure
708
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,840
and a snack to reward myself
in case I get it right.
709
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,200
Right. I'm gonna use
the orange for leverage.
710
00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:45,120
Come on! There we go.
711
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:47,600
Lovely.
712
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:48,880
There.
713
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,560
I want to confidently say
I completed my task.
714
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,360
But I'm not confident about it.
715
00:35:56,400 --> 00:36:00,440
Uh, and now it's gotta go
through everything.
716
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,840
This is just for safe purposes.
717
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,600
I think technically,
I've finished now.
718
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,760
Shall I stop the clock?
Please, yeah.
719
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:15,520
Are you finding this erotic?
720
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,040
Yes.
721
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,160
Pants.
722
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,960
OK. Done.
723
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,040
No, box! No.
724
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,440
Oh, I've started the clock again.
725
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,760
I've stopped the clock again.
Bye, Guz.
726
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,880
There. Done.
727
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:36,240
Stop the clock? Yes.
728
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,040
Wow.
729
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:40,920
I don't think Guz ever knew
730
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,760
if he had completed the task or not.
731
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,840
It never matters with Guz,
though,
732
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:47,880
because the flair of the man
733
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,640
suggests it's all gone perfectly to
plan.
734
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,560
And the audacity of the,
735
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,600
I'm gonna call it the bazooka move,
736
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:58,360
that you introduced halfway
through was absolutely poetry.
737
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,640
Yeah. You know, on a drive home,
738
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:04,560
the wording for this task
kept going through my head.
739
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,600
And I don't know how you feel,
Victoria,
740
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,920
but I felt like I needed some kind
of assessment.
741
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,920
I was on the phone
to old colleagues like,
742
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,280
"Yo, man, I've got something wrong
with me,
743
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,280
"can you send me for an assessment?"
744
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,320
And they were like, "You got plenty
wrong with you, mate."
745
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,360
It was a really stressful time
for me.
746
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,480
The show's really messed with my
life. I just wanted to say. Yeah.
747
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:27,960
Victoria.
748
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,440
What?
749
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,080
I thought it was excellent.
750
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,240
All right,
I have got a couple of questions.
751
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,080
Why did you attach a small fork
to the end of the pokey stick?
752
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,120
Because the stick was too short
753
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,880
to push the things through the pipe,
so it needed an extension.
754
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,400
And she did use it to slice up
the sponge as well.
755
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,800
Yes, I sliced up the sponge.
So very resourceful. Yes.
756
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:53,120
So she used the tools.
757
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,480
She used her little wooden fork.
758
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,040
She popped it on the end
759
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,400
and most delightfully of all,
760
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,240
she brought herself a snack to
reward herself with afterwards.
761
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:04,160
It's often like watching a Famous
Five story with Victoria, I find.
762
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,720
Well done. Have you put a rat
in my dressing room?
763
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,080
What about some timings?
764
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,560
Yeah, well,
Guz and Alan don't get any points.
765
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,440
Victoria gets three for her
19 minutes, 16 seconds.
766
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:15,800
Morgana four, 12 minutes 48
767
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,080
but five points to Desiree,
with ten minutes 15!
768
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,880
There it is. Well done, mate.
769
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,120
Let's have a quick look at
the scores.
770
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,800
In this episode, Victoria's still
got a chance of winning.
771
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,960
She's on 13, but Desiree's out in
front with 17 points. OK.
772
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:33,480
All right, it's time for you all to
head to the stage, please,
773
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,760
for the final task of the show.
774
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,040
Hello, one and all. And hello you.
775
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,400
Would you like Victoria Coren
Mitchell to read the task?
776
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,560
Perfect.
777
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:51,240
"Each person must direct their
fellow contestants to draw an image.
778
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,520
"The drawing director may only use
the following words -
779
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,920
"line, circle, square,
big, small, up,
780
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,080
"down, left, right,
middle, please, bendy."
781
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,680
At the end of one minute,
782
00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:06,240
the drawers must write down
what they think the image is.
783
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,320
The drawers will receive one point
per correct guess.
784
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,640
The drawing director will also
receive one point per correct guess.
785
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,240
Most points overall wins.
786
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,440
In each of your folders,
you will find an image.
787
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,160
That's what you're going to be
directing the others to draw.
788
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,840
You're not allowed any acting
789
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,400
or miming or saying any other words
or noises.
790
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,880
OK, so Alan, please look inside your
folder.
791
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:26,920
Mm-hmm.
792
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:30,120
Your minute to direct
the other drawers starts...
793
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:33,440
Line. Bendy.
794
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:35,760
Line, bendy.
795
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,480
Left, up.
796
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:40,080
No actions, please, Alan.
797
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,160
Middle, line.
798
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,520
You're still doing the actions.
799
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,400
Bendy up left, up right.
800
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,960
Bendy up left.
801
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,080
Bendy up right.
802
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,000
Desiree, please show Greg.
803
00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:00,320
Uh, what I think I've drawn is
the, uh, sweaty right boob.
804
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,440
A sweaty right boob.
805
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,000
Very specific.
806
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:06,800
Guz, what did Alan tell you
to draw?
807
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,600
Part of a colon.
Well, that's what I think.
808
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,400
Morgana,
what did Alan tell you to draw?
809
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,720
I've gone for a cheeky vase.
810
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,640
Beautiful vase.
And then finally, Victoria.
811
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,120
I've got a witch's nose and teeth.
812
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:21,760
A lovely witch's...!
813
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,320
{\an5}Alan, do you want to reveal your
picture? Oh, a banan... Oh.
814
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,200
It was a banana.
815
00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:28,840
What a colossal failure.
816
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,720
Yes, it's not easy, this.
817
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,840
You're not going to get any points
818
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,320
for hilarious things
about body parts.
819
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,040
Desiree, your minute starts...
820
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:41,680
Left line. Uh, down line.
821
00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:44,040
Right line.
822
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,720
Middle line.
823
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,920
Down bendy circle.
824
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,240
Ah, the classic.
825
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:54,920
Middle square, uh,
right line, left line.
826
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,360
Right line, left line.
827
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,520
Uh, left square, right square.
828
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,640
Alan, what did Desiree want you
to draw? A car. Beautiful.
829
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,080
Beautiful car. Guz,
what did you draw?
830
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,840
Look, man, I dunno what's going on
here.
831
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,480
Uh, an angry water cow.
832
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,080
Oh, he's so cute, though.
Morgana, what did you draw?
833
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,280
Well, I thought it sounded
like an aeroplane meal.
834
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,560
Like a little bit of chicken
and a tiny bit of cheese, maybe,
835
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:23,800
and a bun or something. And
finally... I've got a winking man.
836
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:27,360
Ooh. A winking man. Lovely winking
man. It's not art nouveau.
837
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,840
Yeah. Oh, beautiful winking man.
Desiree?
838
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:33,120
My image was in fact a castle.
839
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,400
Oh. That's so difficult.
840
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:35,680
That was so hard.
841
00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:37,360
Guz, your minute starts...
842
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,760
Let's, uh, start with a line.
Just the words, please.
843
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,640
Huh? Just the words on the list.
844
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,800
Oh, you bastard. OK. Line.
That's more like it.
845
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:48,520
Just down, down line.
846
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,480
You keep saying "just." Uh, middle.
847
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,600
Lovely. Bendy. Middle bendy.
848
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,080
Line. Circle-square.
849
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:58,720
Big, down-left-right.
850
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:02,480
While you do a circle there. Up.
851
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:06,080
Please. Down bendy right,
up bendy right.
852
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:10,520
Whoo! Line, middle,
bendy circle, please.
853
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,960
My main thing is, did you all have
fun doing that? Oh! Yes.
854
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,800
Alan Davies,
what did Guz Khan make you draw?
855
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,560
It's like a, one of those Henry
Hoover things. Yeah.
856
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,840
OK. Uh, Desiree, what have you got?
857
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,720
I think it was the map
of a mini golf course.
858
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,400
Right. Morgana, what have you drawn?
859
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:32,880
I think my money's on a wheelchair.
And Victoria?
860
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,960
I've gone with fruit.
861
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,680
Do you want to know what I got it
as? Yes, please, Greg.
862
00:42:38,720 --> 00:42:41,120
I've got it as an evil clown's face.
863
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:42,280
Ooh!
864
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,080
You would have got a point, mate.
865
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,160
It's Greg Davies.
866
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,760
Oh. Ooh! Sick burn.
867
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,880
Nice diss.
868
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,520
Hello, Morgana. Hiya.
869
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,320
Your minute starts...
870
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:00,600
Line.
871
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,880
Li-i-ine!
872
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:05,960
Line.
873
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,080
{\an1}Line.
874
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:10,960
Line.
875
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,120
{\an1}Line.
876
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:14,720
Line.
877
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:17,200
Line!
878
00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:20,200
Left, down,
879
00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:22,920
right, up.
880
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,240
Middle, please.
881
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,160
I think I'm done.
882
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,440
Alan, what have you drawn?
883
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:32,120
It's a, a fence...
884
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,800
..or... it's a ladder.
885
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,800
OK, Desiree, what have you drawn?
886
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:43,280
Uh, I've drawn a train track
that ends in a brick wall.
887
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:47,480
Guz? Uh, I'm just writing messages
to my friends now, so...
888
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,000
OK, Victoria?
889
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,320
I've got Lisa Simpson. Ah.
Wowee.
890
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,480
And they were supposed to draw...?
891
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:57,960
It's actually a harp, guys.
892
00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,760
Alan's was nearly a harp, in a way.
893
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,720
It's no closer to a harp
894
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:05,360
than "Big up Cov & West Midlands
Mandem".
895
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,240
Victoria, you have one minute.
896
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,000
Middle big circle. Lovely.
897
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:14,080
Left, up line left.
898
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,320
Line left.
899
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,520
Left, line left, line left.
900
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:23,280
Very calm. Right, line right,
901
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:27,760
line right, line right, line right.
902
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:30,840
Alan, what did Victoria
make you draw?
903
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,280
I added the face. Yeah.
It's a spider.
904
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:34,880
OK, what have you drawn, Desiree?
905
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:38,080
I can only guess it is
a close-up of a cat nose.
906
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,320
Both quite similar.
Guz, what have you drawn?
907
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,560
I think Vic was describing
908
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,040
shitty Saj from earlier on
in that anecdote
909
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,440
{\an5}and the thing I remember about
Saj
910
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,120
{\an5}when he shit himself
on the log flume, he was smiling.
911
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,840
Might have been a grimace.
912
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:54,400
Morgana, what have you drawn?
913
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,000
{\an5}I think it's a shark with
a massive ball sack.
914
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,560
Victoria? You were supposed to
draw...
915
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,960
..A spider! Oh, my God!
916
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:08,760
Oh, my God!
917
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,680
Alan, Alan, Alan! Wow.
918
00:45:11,720 --> 00:45:14,000
One point to Alan
and one point to Victoria.
919
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,520
Wow. Well done, Alan.
920
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:18,160
Which means that they come joint
first in the task.
921
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,920
Hey, come down, we'll add that
to the final scores.
922
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:22,960
Come on.
923
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,040
Thanks, Greg. Thank you.
924
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:29,880
Well, obviously Victoria and Alan
were so much better at drawing
925
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:31,760
and directing the drawing
than anyone else.
926
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:33,680
They won the task,
they get five points each.
927
00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:36,400
No one else gets any points cos
they didn't do anything right.
928
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:39,280
But that was so sick. Yeah! Wow.
929
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:42,760
It means it's the closest series
in Taskmaster history.
930
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:44,920
Three of them are on 110 points -
931
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,680
that's Desiree, Guz and Alan.
Victoria's on 91
932
00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:51,320
and Morgana's on 113, just three
points away from the others.
933
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,560
However, thanks to those five
points,
934
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:58,240
this episode was
won by Victoria Coren Mitchell!
935
00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:02,720
Victoria Coren Mitchell wins.
936
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,560
Please go silly
for your thin things!
937
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,400
So what have we learnt today?
938
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,720
We've learnt if you ever find
yourself stateside in LA,
939
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,240
you should make an effort by
learning a few colloquialisms.
940
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,240
Why not walk into a bar and shout,
941
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:20,240
"Jebus, guys, anyone fancy a game
of snucker
942
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:22,840
"and a few jars of bing bong bing?"
943
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,920
Goodbye, my friends,
see you very soon.
944
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:31,960
For now, here's tonight's winner
once more, Victoria Coren Mitchell!