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Ah!
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Nngh. Spch!
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Ooh! DING
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Is this a joke?
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Yeah!
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Mm.
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Oh!
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Oh, I like that.
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Hello, everyone.
Welcome to Taskmaster.
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I'm Greg Davies,
or as I'm known in Spain,
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the snake-hipped matador
of authority, El Maestro de tareas.
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When I asked our new contestants why
they would want to put themselves
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through the gruelling challenges
of this show, the consensus was
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they wanted to show a different side
of their personalities.
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Now, just two episodes in, they're
all screaming, "Not that side!
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"I've kept that side hidden!
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"Why do you want to show that side?"
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Let's see if we can calm them down.
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They are Alan Davies!
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Desiree Burch!
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Guz Khan!
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Morgana Robinson!
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And Victoria Coren Mitchell!
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And next to me,
a man who walks like
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a weird Victorian
clockwork toy soldier.
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It's...
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..little Alex Horne!
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I've got my, uh,
latest invention with me. OK.
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It's a prototype.
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It's called an Alex,
and you can ask it anything,
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Anything at all,
and it will answer it.
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You can just say, "Alex, what's the
weather going to be like tomorrow?"
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Tomorrow, the weather in UK
will be fresh. Fresh. There we go.
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So any question, it will answer it.
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Can I ask it who Greg Davies is?
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Yeah, by all means.
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Alex, who is Greg Davies?
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Greg Davies was born in Wales
in the 1960s.
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Very old. Very old.
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That's the end of it, is it?
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That's all it could find out.
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Right. On we go.
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What's the prize task category,
Alex?
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Today, you asked them to bring in
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the most old-fashioned thing
that you still use.
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I'd bring in my stirrups,
or my petticoat.
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As always, there are five points
available for the best item
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brought in, and the winner of the
episode will take home all five
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old-fashioned things and have the
makings of their very own museum.
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Stirrups or petticoat, is it?
Well, yeah.
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It's something I would still use,
so yeah.
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It's just amazing that stuff's...
pre-written.
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Morgana.
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I've brought in me nana's whizzer.
OK!
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Yes, it's not a euphemism.
Here it is.
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They don't make them
like they used to.
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It's, it's built like
a brick shithouse. Is it?
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I use it at least once a week
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and I think of my nana every time
I whizz up a bit of aquafaba.
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Right.
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In order for this
not to come last...
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Oh, no!
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..you're going to need to turn up
the emotional knob quite a lot.
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So are you very close to her?
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She's in Australia. No, then.
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Well, emotionally, yes.
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But geographically, no.
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So... OK. Last place.
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Who's next? Alan.
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I've brought in a VCR
and a VHS cassette.
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Yes. Ooh!
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Yes. The player and the cassette.
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And Jonathan Creek?
A happy time?
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Yeah, happy time, happy memories.
That's how I once looked.
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I always had that expression
on my face throughout the '90s.
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You are largely going with
that face now.
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I like that, Alan,
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and it, it speaks to me
as a man of a certain vintage.
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Desiree, what have you brought in?
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Well, I have brought in, uh,
my chaise longue.
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But now that I've moved to the UK,
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I've come to understand that
there are various names,
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so I think this might actually
be a fainting couch.
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that's nice. That is nice.
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Yeah, I want to say
it's from the 1920s-ish.
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At least that's what they told me
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when they charged me
several hundred pounds for it.
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And, you know, it's the kind
of thing I can come home,
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unwind, just relax and think about
how fabulous my life was that day
90
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and how even more fabulous
it will be the next day.
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Yeah, it's lovely.
It's a lovely item
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and before it goes to its owner,
or back to you,
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I hope I get to have
a little drape on it.
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I hope so too. I would like to
personally see that
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and keep that in the old
memory file.
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Whenever you want.
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Right, I've been a bit thrown
by a good prize, Guz,
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so, uh, help us out.
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I believe the key issue
that we all face in 2021
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is the social media.
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All the time, we're being
bombarded with shit
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and opinions that be messing up your
psyche and your emotional state,
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so I like to detox from
what they call the smartphone,
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which I think is ruining the world,
by using an old-school phone.
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Ooh. Yes!
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That is a lovely, lovely bit of kit.
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Thank you, bro. And I've had that
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since the day it came out of the box
new, so there's
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an emotional attachment to it.
Has it got Snake on it?
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It's got Snake 2 on it, bro, which
is even better than the original.
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Snake 2, This Time It's Personal?
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Um, it's a, it's a
genuinely good prize.
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Victoria, what have you brought in?
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Tippex.
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Vintage.
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Because I'm absolutely with Guz
about the internet.
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One of the other things
that's wrong with it
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is some kind of mistake
stays there forever.
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You do something stupid as a
teenager, it's there forever. Yeah.
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In my world,
you type things on paper.
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Don't like it? Bit of Tippex
over the top, it's gone.
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Well, look,
I'm, I'm passing judgment.
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Before I do, Victoria,
are there any prizes here
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that you think are
worse than Tippex?
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Well...
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I mean, the thing is,
I have all the other things,
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apart from the chaise longue,
which I covet.
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So I've already decided
that Tippex is better than,
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than three of the things.
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So you think I should put you
at the number two slot?
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Yeah. OK.
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Well, should I, should
I put four points to Victoria?
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No. Let me have a little think.
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No, I'll tell you what.
Let's give Victoria one point.
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One point.
For bringing some Tippex in.
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Oh, God, Morgana.
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Don't! Look, don't.
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OK. So is that two points
to Morgana?
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Yeah, I'm sorry. OK.
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Um, three points to Alan.
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Oh. Three points for the VCR.
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Now, here's the controversy.
Guz versus Desiree.
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A lovely chaise longue
versus some rubbish old phone.
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But let me explain my thinking.
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I just... I despise social media
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and I love that Guz
is just taking time out,
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and I think it's a really positive
message for the kids, I really do.
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Yeah. But I am going to
put you second.
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OK, so five points to
Desiree Burch. All right!
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Right. Let's see a task proper.
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00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,920
Copy that. And copy me.
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Hey. Hi, Desiree.
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Hello. Hello, Victoria.
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Hello. It's really tight
in this church.
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You, you look a bit wedged.
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It's a very good word.
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Copy Alex.
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Alex will demonstrate
his actions twice.
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Then you will have one attempt
to copy Alex.
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Closest copy wins!
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I like this one.
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Are you wearing your earpiece,
Morgana?
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Are you wearing your earpiece,
Morgana?
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I haven't started the actions yet.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
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You can watch me. Right.
You can make notes.
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Oh... Oh, OK.
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Let's go.
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One, two, three, four,
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00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:02,520
two, two, three, four,
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00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,080
start.
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Nine.
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00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,440
Oh!
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Eight.
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Seven.
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Six.
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Five. That's bad in the church.
That's sacrilegious.
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Four.
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00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,800
Three.
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Two. GONG
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00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,560
One.
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00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,200
Stop.
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00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,600
Whoa.
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It's very religious at the end.
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Ooh, there's so much to remember,
I've forgotten everything. OK.
185
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,760
How you feeling, Alan?
186
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,280
Oh, uh, very confident.
187
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,440
Very confident.
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00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,800
Could easily have been replaced by,
"What does it matter?"
189
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,760
Mm. Just to copy you, haven't they?
190
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,200
Yes. So I should say,
I did it twice and they watched me.
191
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,080
When they were doing it,
I wasn't doing it.
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00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,960
So it was remembering
as well as copying.
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00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,920
And they were allowed to
write things down?
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00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,720
We gave them a piece of paper with
the word Taskmaster on the side.
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00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,120
Yeah. And then they had
one go to do it. Sweet.
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00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,600
Do they got rhythm?
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00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,320
Let's find out as we begin with
Morgana, Guz,
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00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,080
and Greg Davies's brother,
Alan Davies.
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00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:54,000
Er, whenever you're ready,
you can say, "Let's go."
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00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,040
OK, let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
201
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:59,400
One, two, three, four,
202
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:03,680
two, two, three, four,
203
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,160
start.
204
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,880
Nine.
205
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,080
Eight.
206
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,080
Seven.
207
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,000
Six.
208
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,200
Five.
209
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,160
Four.
210
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:53,360
Three.
211
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,760
Two. GONG
212
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:00,720
It's really tight. One.
213
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,520
Stop.
214
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,000
Mm.
215
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,240
Ah!
216
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,600
Have you finished?
Finished, yeah.
217
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,240
Finished a bit late, I think.
218
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,520
I'll, uh, get out of your way.
219
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:27,880
Little bit in your, in your hair.
220
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,760
Do you want me just...?
221
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,720
Ooh, just give him five.
That was so lovely.
222
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,920
Yeah.
223
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,680
I mean, the universal response
to watching things like that,
224
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,360
and it's, "Aww."
225
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:49,040
I thought Morgana
improved on your performance.
226
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,840
She made something new out of it.
227
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,760
And Guz brought a real intensity
to it
228
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,560
that was lacking in your performance
as well. Right.
229
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,760
So you're marking me down?
Yeah. OK.
230
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,800
Because I think they did
very well.
231
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,960
Yeah, I mean, there's
a complicated marking system.
232
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,376
I looked at the timing, the number
of moves, the order of it,
233
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,760
and then they got a bang-on bonus.
234
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,640
And they did get
a couple of bang-on bonuses.
235
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,920
You saw they did the elastic bands
at the bang-on spot.
236
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,000
I mean, that was...
237
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,496
Alan did get the highest score
in terms of the number of moves,
238
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,160
uh, but he didn't get
any bang-on bonuses
239
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,640
and his timing
he got a minus score.
240
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:18,800
That's cos I couldn't really
read my handwriting
241
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,480
cos I'd written them down
whilst watching you.
242
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,120
Can I say something, yeah? I didn't
want to air-shag the church.
243
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,920
He was air-shagging the church.
I was not air-shagging the church.
244
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,880
It looked like air-shagging to me.
Listen, we've all got eyes, mate.
245
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,480
You were air-shagging in the church.
246
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,040
It was a deconsecrated church,
need to make that clear. Mm.
247
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,640
What I saw was you very dutifully
looking up to God
248
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:39,480
and being like, "Thank you for
this bit, this is really great."
249
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,160
Like, you looked really like,
this is a glorification.
250
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,000
I feel like... Yeah. That's what I
was doing. I feel like that was OK.
251
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,760
I'm sure you'll both be very happy
together in hell.
252
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,440
Gary?
253
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,080
Gary?!
254
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,280
Gary!
255
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,320
It's the end of part one, Gary.
256
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,080
And we're back.
257
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,880
Hello, and welcome back to another
edition of part two of Taskmaster.
258
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,280
Yes, and before the break,
I did a little dance, and the
259
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,320
contestants are doing their best to
copy it as accurately as possible.
260
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,120
Last up - uh-oh - it's VD.
261
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,600
Yes, it's Victoria and Desiree.
262
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,720
Let's go.
263
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,800
♪ One, two, three, four
264
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,560
♪ Two, two, three, four
265
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:37,600
♪ Start... ♪
266
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,520
No!
267
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,640
Oh! I think it's that.
268
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,800
Damn it.
269
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,720
Wait, is it this yet?
270
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,880
Boy. Oh.
271
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,400
♪ Nine
272
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:05,880
♪ Eight
273
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:09,760
♪ Seven... ♪
274
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:10,880
Oh, it's this time!
275
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,720
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
276
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,680
♪ Six
277
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,200
♪ Five
278
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,000
♪ Four
279
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,000
♪ Three
280
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,560
♪ Two... ♪ DONG!
281
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:33,880
♪ One. ♪
282
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:37,720
Stop.
283
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,080
That's too close.
284
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,560
I don't know how you made the rubber
band hit the thing. Yes.
285
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:50,560
Goodbye. I feel like I've let down,
like, God. I don't...
286
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,240
Goodbye. Bye. Goodbye.
287
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,760
Very good.
288
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,720
Very good. Yeah.
289
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,920
I mean, actually,
Desiree did pretty well.
290
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,800
Her demeanour was someone who was
absolutely getting everything
291
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,016
wrong, but it wasn't bad, was it?
292
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,360
Got off to a bad start, but really
brought it back. Yeah.
293
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,360
And then I asked for forgiveness
at the end at the exact right point.
294
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,760
Yeah. Well, Victoria, five bang-on
bonuses.
295
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,280
Yeah? Wow. She was good.
296
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,656
Cos there was a there was an easy
way of remembering all the moves,
297
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,696
cos there were ten moves and each of
them starts with a letter
298
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,520
that spelt out Taskmaster. Mm-hm.
Ah!
299
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,936
And also there's an easy rhyme,
which they should've remembered.
300
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,800
So it's tiptoe, ankle slap, stop and
shake
301
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,680
Karate chops, magic trick,
arty snake
302
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,560
Sexy moves, toss up a treat
303
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,680
Elastic band, return to seat.
304
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,800
Yeah, I thought, when I saw you
before the show,
305
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,880
you looked all
excited about something.
306
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,800
Now we know what, don't we?
307
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,920
A lot of people will
find that charming. Mm.
308
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:52,960
Not this guy.
309
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,000
Well, according to my scoring
system,
310
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:01,280
there's a maximum of 142 points
to be won. Yeah.
311
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,560
Not genuine points.
312
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,720
And, uh,
Alan only got 26 out of that.
313
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,360
Then it was Guz who was second
worst.
314
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:12,200
Morgana got 48 out of 142,
Desiree 55.5,
315
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,280
but Victoria was by far
the best with 64.5. Ooh! Wow.
316
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,640
So that's five points to
Victoria Coren Mitchell.
317
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,520
Well done, Victoria Coren Mitchell.
318
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,280
Scoreboard time?
319
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,440
OK, we have Alan in last place
320
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:28,080
and Desiree Burch in first place
with nine points. There it is.
321
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,800
Very good.
So what's next, please?
322
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,520
This one involves an issue
a lot of men suffer from
323
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,360
when sunbathing on a nudist beach.
324
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,840
Yes, it's a sandy bridge.
325
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,160
The lab, baby. Yeah.
326
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,680
Oh, I've got to close the door.
327
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,400
This is rather splendid.
328
00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:58,880
Thank you.
329
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,560
That's a big egg.
330
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,240
No, no, everything else is small.
331
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,280
Is it?
332
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,280
I'm expecting a fire
because there's sand and water.
333
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,200
You can really play God in this,
can't you?
334
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:13,880
Ohh.
335
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,880
I think that's actual dirt.
336
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,640
What is that?
337
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:23,800
Thought it might be sugar.
338
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,680
I can't tell.
That's probably water.
339
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,800
It's never going away.
340
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:34,600
"Make the highest sand
bridge across the river."
341
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,880
"You may not leave the lab."
342
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,160
"Your sand bridge must
support the egg."
343
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:43,040
"And the egg must be able to
pass under the sand bridge."
344
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:49,440
"There are two bonus points for the
most extravagant sand bridge."
345
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,880
"You have 15 minutes."
346
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,960
This is the sand, isn't it? Yes.
347
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,720
And there's just one egg? Yes.
348
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,600
Your time starts now.
349
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:58,800
OK, cool.
350
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:01,920
Just checking it's real.
351
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,280
Egg bridge? Lovely.
352
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,400
Well, I really enjoyed Morgana
thinking she could play God,
353
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,120
walking in and trying to blow
a tree over and failing.
354
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:17,800
But why would a grown woman enter a
room...
355
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,480
..and immediately eat some sand?
356
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,520
I can think of no good reason.
357
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:31,160
She did say she thought it might be
sugar, but even then, you don't...
358
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,800
I mean, this show just puts you in
such a state where you feel like you
359
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,640
don't know what you know, and I
don't know if I thought I was, like,
360
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,160
in Beverly Hills Cop or something,
and I was like,
361
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,960
"Ugh, what's in there?"
362
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,960
It was, like, "Oh, it's sand."
363
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,800
Incredible. Incredible scenes before
the task's even begun. Mm-hm.
364
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,160
Right. Who are we going to see?
365
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,640
Well, it's an incredible
coincidence,
366
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,240
but we're going to start with
Desiree and Victoria again.
367
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,720
Here they are.
368
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,680
Does the bridge have to be made
exclusively from sand?
369
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,640
I think you'd want the locals to
refer to it as the sand bridge.
370
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,000
My husband used to go to
Swansea to see his grandparents.
371
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,360
He would say the Chip Bridge.
372
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,240
It wasn't made out of chips.
373
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,520
OK.
374
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,000
Isn't this how the kids do it?
375
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,040
OK, interesting.
376
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,600
Now I just need another
ten of those.
377
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:21,600
Mm... I don't feel like this is how
Brunel would've done it.
378
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:22,760
Simple as that.
379
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,280
How the fuck do I move that?
380
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,120
Does it support the egg?
381
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,880
Yes. Can the egg go under it?
382
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:35,920
Yes, it can.
383
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,016
Now, we just need the locals to call
it the sand bridge,
384
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,280
which they will do.
385
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,520
Yes.
386
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,920
No! All right.
387
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,400
The underlying principles are there.
388
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,760
Just pop that on there.
389
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,520
Ahh! OK, wait.
390
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,000
No, this... That's...
391
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,160
No. No. No, no.
392
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,200
OK, right.
393
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,920
Just washing my hands in.
394
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,160
Ooh, that's nice.
395
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,360
Right.
396
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,480
Is this just a random crow?
397
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,720
I think it's a raven.
398
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,440
The egg goes under.
399
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,200
Can it support the
weight of the egg?
400
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,960
Can I blast into the mountain?
401
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,560
There are two bonus points for the
most extravagant sand bridge.
402
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,640
Desiree, this is nothing.
403
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,240
Finished?
404
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,280
Done.
405
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,440
I mean, that's a great bridge,
right?
406
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,880
It's fine, is it? It's fine!
407
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,600
The cow's the problem.
408
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:38,640
Is it?
409
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,560
I'm done. I'd go quickly.
410
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,800
Yeah, I'm going.
411
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,720
Thank you, Victoria. Thank you.
412
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,360
Can I see it go all the way through?
413
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:47,400
Oh, yeah.
414
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,520
WHISTLE Thank you, guys.
415
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:51,560
Thank you.
416
00:20:57,120 --> 00:21:00,680
Wow. Amazing. Identical bridges.
So similar, isn't it? Yeah.
417
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,120
They were very similar bridges.
418
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:06,920
Extravagance, to both contestants,
is to put a cow on top of a bridge.
419
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:13,560
And Victoria's got quite a knack
of making it seem like it's her task
420
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,160
and you're the one doing it.
421
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,560
Yes. It's sort of, "Right. OK,
you're setting me a task,
422
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,680
"but I'll tell you right now,
this isn't right."
423
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:27,120
And I can imagine Alex going, "Yes,
yes. I'll do whatever you want."
424
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,560
It's a delight to behold.
425
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:29,696
You have this sort of, like,
426
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,760
unflappable authority that
you just... That's it.
427
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:32,920
..carry yourself with.
428
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,200
Is that genuinely how it looks to
you? Because, to me,
429
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,200
it looks like an absolute
disintegration.
430
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,520
No, I feel that you could walk
into any situation and say,
431
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,640
"Right, this is what we're going to
do,"
432
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,040
and anyone in the room would do it.
Yeah.
433
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,880
When all's said and done,
your authority's impressive,
434
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,440
but it was a terrible bridge.
435
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,680
Desiree, I think you misread
the task and you thought the task
436
00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:01,680
was, er, eat some sand
and then make some sand castles.
437
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,360
She made some lovely sand castles.
She did.
438
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,280
Look, you've got this whole thing of
sand.
439
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,960
The only way I know how to get it
to do anything solid is to add
440
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,680
water to it, and then that didn't
work, and then I was, like,
441
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,680
"Maybe if I get it compact enough,
I can drill through..."
442
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:15,800
That didn't work.
443
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,056
And then I came to the same
conclusion that the house was
444
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,840
the only thing that would
ever make a bridge.
445
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,680
Yeah, I love the way that you list
446
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,960
the logical things you can do with
sand...
447
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,200
..post-eating it.
448
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:32,160
OK. So, it's two potential
sand bridge-making goliaths now -
449
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,440
Alan and Guz.
450
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,080
Ah, you're no help to me.
451
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,160
Sand bridge here.
452
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:44,480
Sand bridge there.
453
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:47,920
Water. Cos water's very fundamental
to building sand bridges, ain't it?
454
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,776
OK. I'm sure that was on Countryfile
or some shit.
455
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:50,800
Here we go, so...
456
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,280
I don't know...
457
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,240
I was thinking about making
a bridge out of that
458
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,280
and covering that in sand. OK.
459
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,360
But that doesn't really
feel like a sand bridge.
460
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,960
It feels like I might be straying
towards disqualification.
461
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,000
Look what I've done.
462
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,520
I've utilised the cow to build
a sand bridge.
463
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,400
It's starting to soak up the water.
464
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,920
If you can wet it, it'll stay on.
465
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,120
It's a bridge, ain't it? Yeah.
466
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,040
That's not sand though, is it?
467
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,000
Even if I put sand upon it...
468
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,520
..I don't think
it's in the spirit of the task.
469
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:30,880
Got to go underneath too.
470
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,040
Yeah, that's my concern.
471
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,800
I'm going to do something drastic.
472
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:39,840
Look, I know...
I know it's falling apart right now,
473
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,200
but look what I'm going to do.
474
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,800
You didn't think I had this in me,
did you?
475
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,480
It might work. I'm going to let
it rest on top of there.
476
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,360
I was going to say I've found a
crow,
477
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:51,736
but obviously I didn't find a crow,
478
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,040
I just scooped it into the
foundation.
479
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,880
OK. Now watch this.
480
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,840
Welcome to the world.
481
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,600
I believe that's passed through.
482
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,000
So is that a sand bridge or
a cow bridge? Well...
483
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,200
Look.
484
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,120
How's that for extravagant?
485
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,320
Four minutes left, Alan.
486
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:17,680
The sand bridge is collapsing.
487
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,120
It was looking good for a bit.
488
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,040
I don't know what to do now.
How long have I got? Not long.
489
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,200
You know, I've had this
idea for 15 minutes now
490
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,960
and I've lost all confidence with
it in the last two minutes.
491
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,040
Oh!
492
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,480
Should've done
this in the first place!
493
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:33,696
Look, there's a... What's that?
494
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,480
Crow? It's a raven.
495
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,400
It's a raven for your
bloodclaat egg. Look at that.
496
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,520
I'm done, baby. Thanks, Guz.
497
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:48,960
Hurrah! Sand bridge.
498
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,560
Egg passing through...
499
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,480
Wow! That was sick, bro.
500
00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,800
Interesting.
501
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,600
Alan did make a sand bridge.
502
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:02,880
He did make a sand bridge.
503
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,440
His bridge was all sand.
504
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,240
And there was high emotion on
the way to the sand bridge being
505
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:11,320
created as well because when Alan
had formed his two foundations,
506
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:14,200
and he got a bit exasperated
and smashed them together,
507
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,320
in the studio, Morgana went,
"No, Alan!"
508
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,320
I was tru... I was on the edge of my
seat. Yeah.
509
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:22,480
It's incredible.
510
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,800
Guz, I feel like we're
getting to know each other now
511
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,176
and I think you've got a technique.
512
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,600
And it's this - huge
initial confidence...
513
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:32,040
..low score.
514
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:35,680
OK, but listen,
515
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,296
all we had to use was the tools
that we had at hand in there, yeah?
516
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,800
Quite. There's a big... Was it wood
or plastic, that house?
517
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,120
The house was made of a variety of
materials.
518
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,440
I'll tell you what the house
isn't made out of.
519
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,120
But it was still a sand
bridge on top of the house.
520
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,760
So if I go to the Forth Bridge
now...
521
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,520
Yeah. ..and I spread jam across it.
522
00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,680
Advert time.
523
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,280
Go and make a cup of tea and
continue fooling yourself that
524
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,680
you're watching this nonsense
because the kids like it.
525
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:05,800
See you in a minute.
526
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,040
Hello. Thank you.
527
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,800
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
528
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,840
It's part three and we're in the
thick of an architectural task. Yes.
529
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:24,760
Last up, it's Morgana.
530
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:40,360
There's nothing to use.
531
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:44,680
What happens now?
532
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,720
I mean, I've got a sculpture degree.
This is embarrassing.
533
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,560
I'm going
to do a couple of boulders.
534
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,280
Oh, look, that's cracking already.
535
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:57,920
This is a disaster.
536
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,080
Crow.
537
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:05,360
Troy. Do you know anything about
Troy? Helen?
538
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:06,640
What happened to Helen?
539
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:07,760
I don't fucking know.
540
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,456
Do you know
how they rescued her? No. Ah.
541
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,480
How did they rescue her? They didn't
have a Trojan crow.
542
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,480
A horse. Ahh!
543
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,320
How long have I got? Five minutes!
544
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:29,880
Slight disaster.
545
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:39,400
Need some to sort of just...
that's very sandy.
546
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,840
Strengthen the foundations
with some rainbows,
547
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,080
and I think he's going to be
quite welcoming.
548
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,400
You've got 40 seconds. Yeah.
549
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:51,880
It'd be hard to live here. Yeah.
Right?
550
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,280
Oh, the highest. No, no, no, no.
You've got two seconds.
551
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,000
You have to let go of your bridge.
I don't. Well, you do.
552
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,000
I'm going to propose this to the
council and see
553
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,880
if I can get some funding.
554
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,600
They, they've, they've gone ahead
with it, so that's lovely.
555
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,960
Do you think you would've go
the whole Helen of Troy thing
556
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:20,000
without Alex's help?
557
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:21,760
Yeah, yeah, 100%. Do you? Yeah.
558
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,720
I've looked it up since, and yes.
And there is.
559
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,200
Someone got in a tummy
and then they got through.
560
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,680
Yes, so they got into...
They got in a tummy? Yeah.
561
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,080
Interesting. Is it a sand bridge,
though,
562
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:34,520
with all of those things to help?
563
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,880
Should, should we have a look at all
five of the bridges?
564
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:37,960
Let's have a look at them.
565
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,920
Well, I can tell you that Victoria's
is actually the shortest at nine,
566
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,120
then Guz is 9.5 inches, Desiree ten
inches.
567
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,640
Alan's is a magnificent 11 inches.
568
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,560
Hey. OK. Morgana's 21 inches.
569
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:51,600
Ooh, wow. Well, le let's start with
the obvious, OK? Mm-hm.
570
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,320
Alan Davies is taking
five sweet points away. Yes. OK?
571
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,040
Well done, Alan. Yeah. Thank you.
572
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:58,720
Well done, bro. Full agreement.
573
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,960
I'm putting Morgana in second place.
Yeah.
574
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,640
In second from the top, with four.
Yes.
575
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,280
Cos it's the tallest one, but you're
saying it's not as sandy as Alan's.
576
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:11,000
Now, one of those isn't a bridge.
Right. And that's Guz, right?
577
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:15,160
You pushed an egg through that mess.
Yeah, I did. Right.
578
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,920
I'm going to put Guz at the bottom,
I'm afraid, with one point.OK.
579
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,200
Right, so all I've got to decide
is between
580
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,680
Victoria and Desiree, correct?
581
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,360
Yeah. Desiree's is one inch higher.
582
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,480
They are actually incredibly
similar, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah.
583
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,400
And it'd be difficult to
separate them.
584
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,240
If Desiree hadn't put that sweet,
sweet extra inch on it,
585
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,120
so she has to take an extra point,
I'm afraid.
586
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,320
OK. Who gets the two bonus
points for extravagance?
587
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,000
Yeah, I'll give Alan one
and Morgana one.
588
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,560
I've split the extravagance points.
589
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,440
So we go,
well, Alan gets six points
590
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,080
One more, please. Yes, indeed.
591
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:54,200
And it's time to boot up, kick back,
and watch the action unfold.
592
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:12,840
Hi, buddy. That was really cool.
Did you like that? Hi, th... Oh!
593
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,440
That's a fun pair of wellies.
594
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:21,280
What?!
595
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:28,320
"Film the most thrilling 30 second
sequence wearing the wellie cam."
596
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:29,360
Oh, is that a camera?
597
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,360
"You have 30 minutes.
Your time starts now."
598
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,240
You know me.
I like to get things badda-bing.
599
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:46,600
Inside, outside, finished. That's
how I like to do my tasks, yeah?
600
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:47,640
Mm-hm.
601
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:52,040
Don't know whether to just get
the boots on straight away,
602
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:55,560
just in case anything thrilling
happens while I'm looking for props.
603
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,136
I mean, if I go out the front door,
fall over, that might
604
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:00,320
be the best 30 seconds.
605
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:05,520
Lovely.
606
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,000
It's an, it's an age thing that
I can very much relate to,
607
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,480
that Alan thinks that the most
exciting part of his film is
608
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,440
possibly him falling over.
609
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,696
{\an1}Um, I can't wait to see them. Can we
just get straight in? Yes, crack on.
610
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,240
Yeah, it's the most
thrilling 30-second action sequence
611
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:24,520
and up first, here she is again,
it's Morgana Wellington.
612
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:29,480
What was that noise?
613
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,320
Oh, thank God.
614
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:16,680
Oh, I'm here.
615
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:34,880
Superb. That is superb.
616
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,576
Thank you.
Pretty, pretty nice start. Mm-hm.
617
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,880
I mean, when the third ghost
came along, I thought,
618
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,480
"Oh, I think
I'm starting to see a pattern here.
619
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:45,800
"Around every corner there'll be
a ghost and Morgana will scream."
620
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:50,520
Then you pulled it out of the bag
with the headless Alex. Twist.
621
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:54,960
Lovely twist. Thank you. Do you
want to know a trade secret? Go on.
622
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,720
I played all the ghosts.
Yeah, I knew that.
623
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,840
Like Eddie Murphy in Norbit.
And do you know how I knew that?
624
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,560
Because on nearly every occasion,
625
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,760
I saw your horrible plastic
slip-ons.
626
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:15,160
Next?Wellie, wellie, wellie,
who do we have next? Victoria.
627
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,200
I'm assuming you're going to put
some dramatic music on this,
628
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,080
so this is the title sequence.
629
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:27,920
{\an1}A crocodile swimming through a lake.
630
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:31,880
James Bond is disguised in it,
he leaps out, he scales a building.
631
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,560
A beautiful woman is lying on a bed.
You know what ensues.
632
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,600
But soon after, she's dead.
633
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,000
James Bond isn't responsible.
634
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,296
Yeah, he doesn't really seem to
care, he's so icy, his personality.
635
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,920
There he is, he's drinking a martini
and across the room,
636
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,920
the villain of the peace
with a, with a cat.
637
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,320
There's the villain.
James Bond shouts "Stop!"
638
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:53,680
The guy runs away, taking the cat,
but Bond shoots him dead, pulls
639
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:58,040
off the cat's head, and inside,
nuclear weapons and diamonds.
640
00:33:58,080 --> 00:33:59,080
He's spoiled the plan.
641
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,120
There's M, applauding.
642
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,320
Bond is finished with his work
and he's with a redhead on a yacht,
643
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,520
he's smoking, we know what's
occurred, and Bond says...
644
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,360
"I always said
the pussy was dangerous."
645
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:13,600
The end.
646
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,760
Wow. APPLAUSE
647
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:21,200
Right... Right, throws up that
age-old quandary, was it creative?
648
00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:22,280
Or was it lazy?
649
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:27,880
That's... That's not lazy!
650
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,600
I...
651
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:33,360
The, the, the creative process
is in here. Yeah.
652
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:36,400
Not stomp, stomp,
stomp through the garden. Mm.
653
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:39,480
It's the first time your authority's
not worked on me.
654
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:46,360
Um, I enjoy the idea in a Bond
film that the villain might store
655
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:47,800
nuclear weapons inside a cat.
656
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,400
It's the sort of thing they do.
I've... I...
657
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,176
{\an1}It, it's not the sort of thing
they do. Yes, because there is...
658
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,120
And I think if they did do that,
honestly, I think it would
659
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,640
be the end of the franchise.
660
00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:03,200
Who's next?
Next, it's the acclaimed actor
661
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:05,360
and film-maker Guz Khan. Lovely.
662
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,600
Who-arr.
663
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,080
Who-arr.
664
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:14,320
Who-arr!
665
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:17,360
Who-arr.
666
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:18,640
Now, who are you, blood?
667
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:21,560
Who are you, blood?
668
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,360
Who-arr. Mm.
669
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:28,280
Who-arr. Ah.
670
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:32,960
Who-arr!
671
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,200
Who-arr.
672
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:51,680
Who-arr.
673
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,120
Right.
674
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,816
OK, now, I'm going to say something
positive, which is I thought
675
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:07,120
your vengeful and dramatic drinking
of a glass of milk at the end...
676
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,560
Yeah. Really, really elevated
the whole piece. Yeah, yeah.
677
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,440
But the substance of the film is two
farmers saying "who-arr blood,"
678
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:14,960
to each other, and then one...
679
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,040
..one of them throws a wellie
into the other one's balls.
680
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:23,320
I think he started a new genre. It's
like a Yeovil western or something.
681
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,160
Oh, listen, the... Yeovil
western? That is exactly what
682
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:29,680
I was going for. That's what
you were aiming for, yeah? Yeah.
683
00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:31,840
We wanted, as a, as a filmic piece,
to throw
684
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:35,080
you into the midst of this beef that
we very rarely see farmers have.
685
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,120
Yeah.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
686
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,640
His farmer ended up with the cow.
687
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,440
He stole my cow, and so beef is
actually, uh... Well, I saw it.
688
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,040
- ..double meaning. Yeah. I... I saw him and your...
- "ooh".
689
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:49,080
Was beef a deliberate double
meaning? Yes, it absolutely was.
690
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,520
Mm.
691
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:53,560
It's break time.
692
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,760
A time for Alex's parents to reflect
where they went wrong.
693
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,320
Spoiler alert - everywhere!
694
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,400
Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
695
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,000
Alex, what's been going on?
696
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,840
Before the break, our half-price
Hitchcocks were attempting
697
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,200
to make a thrilling wellie-cam
action sequence.
698
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:20,480
There are only two films
left to see, and one of them
699
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:22,120
belongs to Alan Davies.
700
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,320
And this one belongs to Alan Davies.
701
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:32,480
So nice of Alex to let us have
a little boat trip, Victoria.
702
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,720
But down there, I can see, oh, giant
lizards.
703
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:37,200
Oh, that's amazing.
704
00:37:37,240 --> 00:37:39,760
Wait, hang on a sec. How terrifying!
705
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,000
Enormous ducks.
706
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,160
"Cheep, cheep, cheep. Cheep!"
707
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,600
Ooh, oh, my goodness!
708
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,080
That's the biggest du... Ahh, no!
709
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,280
Oh, no. Oh, Victoria. Can you speak?
710
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:56,640
"No, I'm underwater."
711
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:57,720
Ooh.
712
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,840
Oh, what a terrifying creature!
713
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:02,200
"Oh, my goodness, what are you doing
in my bath?"
714
00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:03,560
Oh, you seem quite friendly.
715
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,120
"I am, actually.
716
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,120
"I'll help you. I'll get your boat
and I'll get rid of the horrible
717
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,080
"man-eating duck.
718
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,000
"Go away!"
719
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,200
Victoria, you've come adrift.
You're face down.
720
00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:16,320
You're...
721
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,800
Oh... Yeah, you look really dead.
722
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,400
I guess this is... This is goodbye.
723
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,240
We couldn't be rescued.
724
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:37,280
Great film-maker. Very good.
It is great film-making.
725
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:41,360
You know, you could argue that
film's quite profound in many ways.
726
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:45,080
And there was certainly a very
involved narrative
727
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,560
in which I think Victoria perished.
728
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,176
It was Victoria. But I don't think
that was... Was that meant to be me?
729
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,400
No? Yeah, yeah, that's you, yeah.
730
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,400
So it was just a film
about me drowning? Yeah, I think.
731
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,400
Well, you weren't meant to drown,
but you came off the stick.
732
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:03,040
I was totally involved until we saw
that wide shot of a man
733
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,680
standing in a bath.
734
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:09,440
And, for me, the magic was gone.
735
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,560
That made it for me because, like,
I just saw a fully clothed man
736
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,880
in a tub and I was like,
"This person's a great Dad." Yeah!
737
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,480
Gives me cockles. But he's not doing
it for kids, he's doing it
738
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,080
for his own self aggrandising.
739
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,680
Who's next?
There's only one more to see.
740
00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:28,000
And that one is
Desiree Burch's attempt. OK.
741
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:33,480
Cheeky little coffee. I wonder
where they keep the good stuff.
742
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,120
Let's see.
743
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,480
Whoa. OK. Probably not there.
744
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,760
That seems weird. And... Ah!
745
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,520
Oh, my God. OK, that's actually...
746
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,720
Maybe it's in... Whoa.
747
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:48,280
What?!
748
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:51,440
OK, that's somewhat
reassuring actually, but...
749
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,440
OK.
750
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:57,680
Alex? I think the house
has turned on us.
751
00:39:57,720 --> 00:40:00,040
Alex?
752
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,000
Whoa.
753
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,160
Alex, are you all right? Ah, get
out. What?
754
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,360
This isn't a task.
The house is trying to kill us.
755
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,000
This is a health and safety
nightmare.
756
00:40:17,720 --> 00:40:20,680
Linda! Linda!
757
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:23,120
How, could they?!
758
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,480
Maybe I...
759
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,920
It's a duck army.
760
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,360
Ah! Linda!
761
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,600
I'll give you all the bread
in my cupboard.
762
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,960
Yes. Yeah, that was good.
That was good.
763
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:50,320
Wow. I thoroughly enjoyed your film,
764
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:54,640
and, amazingly, the final duck
attack was fairly chilling.
765
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:02,480
So, I mean, that house is so full
of, like, years and history
766
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,560
and all these little knick-knacks,
and I thought,
767
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,880
"You know, some of these have
a history, they have a life
768
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,960
"of their own." And in this one,
the house really decided, like,
769
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,560
"We want this bitch out."
So it turned on me.
770
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:17,080
Wow. Watching you seriously describe
the narrative of that film
771
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,560
really does show you what a load of
old nonsense art is.
772
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,840
I enjoyed every single one
of your films.
773
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,800
Oh. And it's a tough one to score
because I don't think any of those
774
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,960
films only deserve one point. OK.
775
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,440
I think he's been unfairly treated
in many ways because I think
776
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,440
that wide shot ruined it for him.
777
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:40,240
I'm going to give Alan Davies
two points.
778
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,040
I'm going to give Guz and Victoria
three points each.
779
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:44,280
Who-arr.
780
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:47,640
I don't know why, but that duck
attack really creeped me out,
781
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:49,960
so I'm going to give
Desiree five points. Yeah.
782
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,240
And Morgana four points,
and that's an end to it.
783
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:56,200
There we go, Desiree Burch
gets five points.
784
00:41:56,240 --> 00:41:57,560
Let's have a look at the scores.
785
00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,760
OK, well,
Guz is in last place with ten.
786
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,136
At the other end of the leader
board, Desiree has 17 points.
787
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,000
Ah, there it is.
788
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,400
Right, for a change,
please can just Alan
789
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:11,200
and Guz head up to the stage
for the final task of the show?
790
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:15,720
Good.
791
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:17,200
Who's going to read the task out?
792
00:42:17,240 --> 00:42:19,800
I think Alan Davies should
read the task out.
793
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:21,560
Which one's Alan, Alex?
794
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:30,440
OK. Correctly guess
your team-mate's object.
795
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:35,440
Your team-mate will represent their
object through the medium of shadows
796
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,000
on the screen.
797
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:42,040
Fastest correct guess
wins two actual points per round.
798
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,880
Yes, so this is a team task. Aha.
799
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:48,800
It is Alan and Victoria
versus Guz, Morgana, and Desiree.
800
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:51,640
They're both doing different things,
I should make that clear. OK.
801
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,040
There will be three goes.
802
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:55,200
OK, when I blow the whistle,
you may read your card
803
00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:56,680
and start silhouetting.
804
00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:00,960
An interesting fact,
they're actually facing us,
805
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,520
but it looks like they're
facing the other way. Are they?!
806
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,520
Isn't that weird? Yeah. Right.
807
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,560
The dove of peace...
808
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,120
..vomits forth...
809
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:12,920
..a message.
810
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,760
On this occasion, it's one word on
each card for this. Just one word.
811
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:19,360
Yeah. Guz, what are you actually
doing?
812
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:22,400
Morgana, any guesses?
813
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:26,080
Something... It's teeth.
It's something with teeth.
814
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,120
Yes.
815
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:31,560
I think Guz has cut out a silhouette
of himself and left the building.
816
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:39,040
Well, that's... Get away.
Uh, it's a tank? Get away.
817
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:42,560
Uh... It is a tank!
First guess gets it correct.
818
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:45,096
Oh, my God. So Guz... Nice. ..has
nailed it. Oh, Alan, I'm so sorry.
819
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,440
OK. We're going to wait to see
if Victoria can guess...
820
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,080
Oh. Uh, something with
a lot of sharp teeth.
821
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:52,760
Correct. And fork is emerging
from it. It's not a fork.
822
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,360
A tonsillectomy?
823
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,160
No. A dragon?
824
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:57,960
It is a dragon! It is a dragon.
825
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,560
Ooh. Now, Guz has won his team
two points.
826
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,120
But next, it's Morgana and Victoria
to go behind the screen.
827
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:06,560
Please. Go on, Morg!
828
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,640
When I blow the whistle,
you can read your card
829
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,080
and start silhouetting.
830
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:15,040
At the card-reading stage, Greg.
831
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,440
Ooh, snake. Walk like an Egyptian.
832
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:18,960
But there's snake down in hell.
833
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:20,840
So is... Demon, serpent.
834
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,000
Oh, there's like a fa...
Limbo dancer.
835
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,040
A bird is eating a snake. Uh, no.
836
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:26,680
A river? A tiny...
837
00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:27,880
A worm.
838
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:29,880
Bird eats the worm?
The early bird gets the worm?
839
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,480
It is a worm.
840
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:35,560
OK. Guz didn't say a word,
But Desiree has earned two points.
841
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,080
In bed! You're in bed.
842
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,480
We're now just waiting to see
if Alan... Blanket?
843
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,000
Yes. It was a blanket.
844
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,360
There. Only just behind. Nice.
845
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,560
So the group of three
get another two points.
846
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,520
Team of three.
847
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,280
So there's one more round to go,
Greg.
848
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,920
Yes. Alan's back and this time,
he's up against Desiree Burch.
849
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,160
Off you go.
850
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:57,080
Alan and Victoria, you're yet to get
a point here, so good luck.
851
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:58,760
Let's shadow. WHISTLE BLOWS
852
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:02,400
Oh, wow.
853
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:06,880
A jeweller?
854
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:08,200
Uh, detective.
855
00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:09,520
Eyeglass?
856
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:10,720
Magnifying glass.
857
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:12,640
Sherlock Holmes.
858
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,160
Clues. I had you lot waiting ages,
didn't I?
859
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,120
The sun, a ball. Microscope.
860
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:18,600
It's a circle.
861
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,160
It is a microscope.Well done, Alan.
862
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,400
Brilliant. The team
of two get their first point. Wow.
863
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,280
Yay. But let's see what Desiree
comes up with.
864
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,200
I was going to suggest dragon,
again. Ooh.
865
00:45:27,240 --> 00:45:29,080
Wrecking ball! Wrecking ball.
866
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,120
It is a wrecking ball.
867
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:35,000
Please come down and we'll see how
that's affected the final scores.
868
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:38,960
Lovely shadow work.
869
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,920
The team of two gained two points,
870
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,280
the team of three
gained four points each.
871
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:44,960
Nice. Lovely. Hm.
872
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,480
So I've got some final scores.
873
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:47,720
Please. Mm.
874
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,640
Well, I can first of all tell you
that Victoria
875
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,080
has come last for the third show
in a row.
876
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:54,200
Wow.
877
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:57,320
And this episode's winner is now
the series leader and that,
878
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,880
with 21 points, is Desiree Burch.
879
00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:01,560
Desiree Burch.
880
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,200
Desiree Burch won.
881
00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:05,800
Please, go and attempt
your old-fashioned parade.
882
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,320
So what have we learnt today?
883
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:11,920
We've learnt that life is unfair.
884
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:15,800
Human beings are fallible,
and art can be cruelly subjective.
885
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:21,840
We've also learnt
Desiree Burch eats sand.
886
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:23,680
Thank you for watching.
887
00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:25,760
Take good care of each other,
but first,
888
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,080
let's applaud the glory of
tonight's winner, once more.
889
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,840
Desiree Burch!