1 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:08,160 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,160 Is this a joke? 3 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:15,880 Oh! 4 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,920 Oh, I like that! 5 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,680 Wow. 6 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,480 APPLAUSE #S 7 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,440 Hello, I'm Greg Davies 8 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:38,520 and every morning I judge the first person I see 9 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:42,400 to sharpen my skills for preparation for my work on this throne. 10 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,960 This morning it was Lydia Evans who runs my local bakery. 11 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,600 Lacklustre service and a horrible shrill voice. 12 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,560 Easy. Now, let's meet the lemmings queuing up 13 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,120 for a write-off on camera, they are 14 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,160 Alan Davies, 15 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,160 Desiree Burch, 16 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,080 Guz Khan, 17 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,000 Morgana Robinson 18 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,760 and Victoria Coren Mitchell. 19 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,080 APPLAUSE 20 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,960 Now, he's small, he's hairy and he sleeps in my underpants, 21 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,040 it's little Alex Horne! 22 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:12,680 APPLAUSE 23 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:13,760 Thank you. Nice. 24 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,800 All right? Bit nervous. 25 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,080 Are you? 26 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,680 I wanted to tell you something which I've never told you before. 27 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,880 OK. Uh, I love you. 28 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,680 I want, I want you to look at me the way I look at you. 29 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:31,600 I can imagine. 30 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:34,560 Finished? 31 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,800 OK. 32 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:40,160 No, it's awful, isn't it? But who created this atmosphere? 33 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,280 I didn't. 34 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,440 Right, let's get going with, with the show, I guess. 35 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,000 OK, so the Prize Task this week, 36 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,520 you demanded that they bring in the most desirable thing 37 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,520 for the person below you in the alphabet, 38 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:59,160 or the highest alphabetically if you're the lowest alphabetically. 39 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,760 So, Alan has chosen something desirable for Desiree, 40 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,880 Desiree for Guz and so on, until eventually, 41 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,440 Victoria has brought something in for Alan. 42 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,880 Five points will be awarded to the most desirable thing 43 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,520 and the winner of the episode will bring home five things, 44 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,240 one of which will be desirable for them. 45 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,640 Ooh. Hello, Alan. 46 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,680 Hi. Who've you brought a present for? 47 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:21,760 Uh, Desiree. It's a book of etiquette for English ladies. 48 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,840 Ahh. And, it's, it's very helpful for people who are coming 49 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,640 to these shores, living here. 50 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,080 Mid-19th century, things like, 51 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,120 "you are not expected to recognise any friend 52 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,960 "on the opposite side of the street. Even if you see them, do not bow." 53 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,120 That is a relief. Thank you, that's... Stop. Do not bow. 54 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,640 Stop bowing! Also, Desiree, "Do not walk so fast, 55 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,200 "you are not chasing anybody. Walk slowly, gracefully." 56 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:48,080 Yeah, that's been a big problem for me my entire existence. 57 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:53,720 You flipping yanks running around bowing all over the place. 58 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,600 Desiree, who have you bought something for? 59 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,720 I have bought something for Guz. 60 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,760 I happen to know what Guz really wants is a Bully Kutta, 61 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,080 which is a Pakistani Mastiff. 62 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:07,120 It's a huge dog that's super protective. 63 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,680 Kutta means dog and Bully is, it's a bully dog. 64 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,640 You want a Bully Kutta? It's a Bully Kutta, yeah, yeah, yeah. 65 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:16,040 Yeah. So, what I've done is commissioned Idil Sukan, 66 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,600 who is an incredible artist, to create a painting of one 67 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:22,800 so that you can always have your dream dog in your home 68 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,360 to protect you and your family. 69 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,240 I'm so excited. Oh! 70 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,320 Right, isn't he fly? 71 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,960 He's got the gold puffy coat 72 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,600 and everything cos that's your dog, man. 73 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,800 That is incredible. 74 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,360 Yes. Just give her the five points now. Yes. 75 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,480 This task has really backfired. 76 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,400 I know. I used to love it. 77 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,280 I was hoping you were gonna insult each other. 78 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,000 No, we adore Guz. 79 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,000 He has only got a one in five chance of taking it home, though. 80 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,680 Look, if I win it, I'll give it to you. 81 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,360 Will you do that? Yeah, of course. 82 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,600 Stop being nice! 83 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,800 Me too, Guz, you're totally having it. 84 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,680 Thank you, mate. Yeah, yeah. 85 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,520 We have defeated the format of your show. 86 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,160 You haven't cos I'm gonna go backstage 87 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,480 and cut that painting up. 88 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,120 Guz, who have you bought for? 89 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,080 So, I have bought for Morgana. 90 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,000 What is it? My G, and... 91 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,440 A weekend in the Seychelles? 92 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,080 It was actually gonna be something different, yeah, 93 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:27,120 and then now we've all been spending so much time together, 94 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:31,080 I switched it and made it something that I hope you will really appreciate. 95 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,200 Yeah? It's one of Guz's long coats. 96 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,760 I love it! 97 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,680 I love it, it's the one that you were wearing the other day. 98 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,520 You said you really liked it and I was like, yeah. I love it! 99 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,720 I'm gonna feel guilty if I take that home. 100 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,120 No, you won't. Don't feel guilty, it's what Guz wants. 101 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,440 He either wants, in life, paintings of himself 102 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,960 or to make other people look like him. 103 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,000 All right, what have you bought, Morgana? 104 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,600 OK, so I have bought Victoria a. GREG GROANS 105 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:03,480 ..personalised velvet vintage smoking jacket 106 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,840 with, if that's not enough, some matching slippers. 107 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:08,320 Oh. Embossed in your name, 108 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:12,800 to sort of pimp up her late night smutty poker nights. 109 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,320 I mean, that sounds amazing. 110 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,720 Wow. Whoa. Are those Victoria's initials? 111 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,040 I mean, I really, really want that. 112 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,160 Can you imagine a big cigar, nothing underneath, 113 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,240 "Six of clubs, have that!" 114 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,600 That's how you play, isn't it? 115 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,440 It's like looking in a mirror. 116 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,080 That's a great present as well, obviously. 117 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:35,040 Um, if we can rely on one person to get us back on track. 118 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,000 No, this is a good thing. No, I've got a good thing. 119 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:43,320 I have bought Alan a season ticket to Manchester United 120 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:48,040 because he always goes to see the Arsenal. I don't... 121 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,120 The team he supports? 122 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,640 Yeah, well, whatever the reason that's where he always is. 123 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,000 I knew you wouldn't let me down. 124 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,880 No, because I assumed if he loves football, 125 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,360 he's gonna want to see the best team. 126 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,800 If you look at the cups and everything... Yep. 127 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,400 ..it's usually Manchester United and I thought, 128 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:11,880 I don't know why Alan's never treated himself to a ticket to that. 129 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,960 I think Alan's about to tell you. 130 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,240 Anyway, it's not the whole... Because it's so expensive, 131 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:21,840 it turned out to be, I got a voucher towards a season ticket. 132 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,160 So you haven't even bought the whole season ticket. 133 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,880 Well, I bought most of it. To a team I imagine you hate. 134 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,760 Of course. 135 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,840 He'll be sat with all the people he hates as well, 136 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,480 he's in the wrong end. He's in the Man United end. 137 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,280 And many of them, I'd like to point out, hate me. 138 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,600 Yes, yes, they all know you're an Arsenal fan. 139 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,280 And she hasn't even paid for it all! 140 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,760 This is it! I knew it. 141 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:48,000 It's the most passive-aggressive, calculated personal attack 142 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,480 that I've ever experienced. 143 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,800 It's fabulous, one point to Victoria. 144 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,120 Well done, Victoria. 145 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,040 Two points to, uh, Alan's etiquette book. 146 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,480 OK, fair enough. Three points to Guz trying to make someone into him. 147 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,200 Right. Uh, the smoking jacket, 148 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,000 Victoria will look fine and dandy in it, I must concede. 149 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:09,400 But the painting, it just tipped it for me 150 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,400 so I'm gonna give five points to Desiree. 151 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,360 Five points to Desiree Burch! 152 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,160 What's next, please? 153 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,840 Ironing. 154 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,520 Oh, there you are. Hello, mate. 155 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,440 Aww. What a busman's holiday. 156 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:39,480 Oh, a little domestic work, this is nice. OK. 157 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,560 OK. Uh, 158 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,200 land the iron on 159 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,080 the ironing board from the furthest distance. 160 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,280 What? Land what? 161 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,560 The ironing board must be standing at its maximum height 162 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,560 when the iron lands on it, so at the maximum height. 163 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,960 And the iron must remain on the ironing board 164 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,920 for the attempt to count. 165 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,360 What attempt to count? 166 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,720 You have 20 minutes. 167 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,720 I don't understand. 168 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,400 So, so the ironing board has to be far away 169 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,800 and arrive at the ironing board? 170 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,960 Well, you've said ironing board twice now. 171 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,800 Your time starts now. Can I leave the room? 172 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,560 All the information's on the task, Guz. 173 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,560 Oh, I have to be the furthest distance, not the iron. 174 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:25,680 Well, you need to make the iron land on the board. 175 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,280 Seems to have baffled Victoria, this one. Yes. 176 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,080 It, it seems quite straightforward to me, 177 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,840 it's got to land on the ironing board from the furthest distance, 178 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,400 not necessarily thrown, just land. 179 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,840 Yeah, it's like, it's like the hammer throw in the Olympics 180 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,880 but landing it on a hammer board. 181 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,960 With an iron. Yes. 182 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,160 Good. Well, let's not talk about it, let's see it. 183 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:50,200 Yes. First to attempt long distance iron throwing are Guz and Desiree 184 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,360 and let's not forget Alan! 185 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,680 OK, I think I got to go out. 186 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,960 I'll measure that. 187 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,160 Ahh. 188 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,520 Maximum height. Am I allowed to move the ironing board, 189 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,800 can I ask you again? All the information's on the task. 190 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,440 Listen, I know you're probably trying 191 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,640 to keep this level of communication to a minimum with 192 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,160 the other contestants but me and you are different. Are we? 193 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,200 There's a connection. Can you feel it? 194 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,080 Shh, close your eyes. 195 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,320 I felt it. Did you feel it? 196 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,760 You could really get some distance. 197 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,360 Uh, remember Neville Southall? 198 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,440 Yeah. Big lad, used to play for Everton. Big Nev. 199 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,000 This is for Neville Southall! 200 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,400 That's from there. 201 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,920 Yes, I've, I've logged that. 202 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,240 Logged that. 203 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,000 Yeah, I'd go. 204 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,880 All right, this is the first one. 205 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,080 Is this your fence or the neighbours'? 206 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,640 Ooh! 207 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,360 Ahh, boom! 208 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,480 Lovely shot. 209 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,440 Alex, please can I have your assistance, brother? 210 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:26,200 Yeah, there you go. Do you know who we're gonna channel for this one? 211 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,200 Shaka Hislop. You remember Shaka? Shaka Hislop for the win. 212 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:37,280 Oh, no. Oh, no, 213 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,800 I hadn't factored in the iron smashing to pieces. 214 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,880 I don't know how many more goes I've got. 215 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:49,600 Uhh... All right. There's a better way. 216 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,320 OK. I wish I could figure it out. 217 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,720 I'm good with that. Thanks, guys. 218 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,320 Oh, look at that! 219 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,920 I'm out. 220 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,840 APPLAUSE 221 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:11,800 Fuck! 222 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:15,520 All right, you know, well... 223 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:16,680 Thanks, Alan. 224 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,320 Sorry about the iron. 225 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,760 APPLAUSE 226 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,160 Lovely. 227 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:23,760 I got a tad mad. 228 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,840 The first thing that struck me about that was the fact that Alan, uh, 229 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,440 didn't question what he had to do. 230 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,840 He read it once and he went, 231 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,280 "OK, yeah, all right, iron throwing, I'm in, let's go." 232 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,080 And that was borne out by the style of the man. 233 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,960 That was so... It was like an athlete at the top of his game. 234 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,080 It really was. One foot off the ground, big smile on his face. 235 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:47,320 I thought you were the most stylish until I closely observed Desiree 236 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,760 in action, because much like the curling champions, 237 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,520 who I so admire, 238 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,160 she always went with the follow through arm. 239 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,200 Very, yeah! 240 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,000 Always. 241 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,080 Yeah, you would think that accuracy might come with poise. 242 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,240 It did not, but I felt proud of my actions. 243 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,320 Guz, the bath, stroke of genius. 244 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,640 Yeah, absolutely. 245 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,960 And lovely to see some sporting greats being, uh, celebrated. 246 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,800 You've got to, you've got to channel the people that came before you. 247 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:15,800 It's the reason why we're here today. 248 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,960 The people that led to iron throwing, the sport. 249 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,080 Well, give me some statistics. 250 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,560 I've measured it. 251 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,120 You know how people throw things over double decker buses? 252 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,640 Yeah. I've done it in Double Deckers, the chocolate bars, 253 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,160 15 centimetres long. Desiree, 32 Double Deckers. 254 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,240 Yeah. Yeah? OK. Yeah, get this out your system 255 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,960 then we'll hear the real distances. 256 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,040 OK. 4.80 m. Yep. 257 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:40,520 Uh, Guz, 82 and two thirds Double Deckers. 258 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:44,360 Wow. Or 6.4 Shaka Hislops, that's 12.40 m. 259 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:48,840 Uh, whereas Alan, 56.4 original Curly Wurlys, 260 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:52,600 that's 93 and a third Double Deckers, that's 14.10 m. 261 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,800 APPLAUSE 262 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,840 Advert time, hop onto social media 263 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,840 and like your friend's new profile picture. 264 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,000 You may as well, we're all doomed! 265 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,720 APPLAUSE 266 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,920 Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster. 267 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,520 Alex, please remind the nice viewers what was happening before 268 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:15,760 the nasty adverts. 269 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,520 We went way back to the iron age, a period in time when sport 270 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:21,880 took the form of throwing irons onto ironing boards from a distance. 271 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,760 We've seen Guz, we haven't seen Morgana, we've seen Alan, 272 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:28,480 we haven't seen Victoria and we've seen Desiree, until now. 273 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,600 OK. I'm just gonna go and have, and find some bits and bobs, 274 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:35,920 if that's all right. 275 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,240 I was imagining what if I could rig up some sort 276 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,800 of pulley system. 277 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,720 How hard can this be? 278 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:56,600 Oh, for God's sake. Oh, there we go. 279 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,960 I don't know if this will work. 280 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,400 Get then and then just tie it across. 281 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,320 It's over. 282 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,480 Little fucker. 283 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,600 OK. 284 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,680 Ahh, they're too thin! 285 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,680 Ah! This is not what I imagined. 286 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,360 Should we swap places? Let's swap places. 287 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,400 OK...OK. All right. OK. 288 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:32,880 It's on. 289 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,600 But if I had more time I could try to get further away. 290 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:40,760 Well, you have got more time. OK. 291 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,160 Up we go. 292 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,800 It nearly worked, didn't it? 293 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,840 Yeah, it didn't stay on the ironing board though. I know. 294 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,040 Can you lift the iron? 295 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,680 It's going down my sleeve into my arm. 296 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:56,240 Well, that's... You've bought a bad iron. 297 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,920 Go on, mate. 298 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,280 I'll tell you what, I wish I had my glasses. 299 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,440 You're gonna have to tell me if it's over the board. 300 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,000 It's over the board. 301 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,640 Is it on? Yes. Great. I'm happy. 302 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,680 Thank you, Morgana. Thank you. 303 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,680 APPLAUSE 304 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:30,800 Wow. Felt like a real evolution of the sport there. 305 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,480 Pulley system, leverage, and they were successful. 306 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,280 Mm-hm. Morgana was punching the air and running around. 307 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,000 I was having a whale of a time. 308 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,240 You were, which was lovely to watch. 309 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:45,240 Victoria, slightly more muted celebration. "I'm happy." 310 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,840 I was very happy that the iron was on the board 311 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,640 but you've got to balance that with this is not where I hoped 312 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:55,200 to be professionally at this stage of my life. 313 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,280 For me, I'm like, pinnacle. 314 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,280 You're, you're... I'm at that sweet spot. 315 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,160 I'm peaking here. That's why you're doing the double hands in the air. 316 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,840 I'm Peking duck. Course. Thank you. 317 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,960 Yeah. Well, they were both very successful. 318 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,280 Yes. Seems to me. Well, there was only one Double Decker between them. 319 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,840 GASPING 320 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:15,680 Victoria was 8 metres 60, 57 Double Deckers, 321 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,640 Morgana 8 metres 44. 322 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,560 Oh. So Victoria's was just longer. 323 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,280 Oh. So, Desiree did the shortest throw and gets one point, 324 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,760 then it's Morgana with 8 metres 44, two points. 325 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,920 Victoria, three points. Guz, four points 326 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,320 but the champion iron thrower was Alan Davies 327 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:32,280 with five points and 14 metres 10. There it is. 328 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,680 APPLAUSE 329 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,720 Know what I'd love? A scoreboard. 330 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,880 OK, well, it's Alan and Guz in the lead with seven. 331 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,160 Lovely. 332 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,520 I want another one! 333 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:47,240 Yes, and this one's just so dog-gone cute. 334 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:54,800 AUDIENCE: Aww! 335 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,640 Hello. 336 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,800 Hi, there, cheeky. 337 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,640 Cheeky? Uh, Alex. 338 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,520 Cutie! 339 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,120 Is he a little pug or bulldog? 340 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,880 He's a bull, yeah. 341 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,280 "I can't breathe!" OK. 342 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,720 What's this thing? 343 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,680 Is there a dog in it? 344 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:22,920 HE WOOFS 345 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,960 "Make a cute toy for a cute dog." 346 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,280 Is there gonna be a real dog? 347 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,720 Yes, but you will not meet the dog. Why? 348 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,720 "The dog will have five minutes with your cute toy." 349 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,520 "Most engaged dog wins!" 350 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,160 "You have 20 minutes." Oh, that's ages. 351 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,960 They're really expecting something good, then. 352 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,800 "Your time starts now." OK. 353 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,720 You literally can't beat a tennis ball, that's the problem. 354 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,080 In that box, there's all vet-approved items. 355 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,400 I couldn't, I couldn't get the lid off it just now. 356 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:57,880 I saw that. 357 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,840 Have you got a dog? I do have a doggy. 358 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,000 He's called Stinks. 359 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,080 He's got very bad breath. 360 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,800 Yeah, I mean, there. 361 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,960 Am I allowed to soak any of it in food? 362 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,600 What I would ideally do is rub it on a cat. 363 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,080 I guess you don't have one? 364 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,280 I haven't checked through the whole box. 365 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:25,440 I mean, I could wee on it. What time does this go out? 366 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,680 Is it a boy dog or a lady dog? 367 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,720 Oh. I have no idea how you tell. 368 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,480 Imagine if it's a boy dog in heat, yeah, and we made a lady dog? 369 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,040 Just, I've cooked a chicken thigh. 370 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,680 Slippery little sucker. 371 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:46,320 I'm gonna try and cut out a cat. 372 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,920 You say cute, innit? Yes, please. 373 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,320 Oh, that is cute. 374 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:55,840 You must've done that before. I've never done that before. 375 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,640 You and I look at that and see a cat. Do we? 376 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,280 Give it a name or something. 377 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,840 What's a cute name? Pipe, Pipey. 378 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,560 Is it gonna have a name, do you think? 379 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,160 Yeah. It's gonna be Chonky. 380 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,480 I'm giving it a hat. 381 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,520 You're giving it a hat? Yeah, I'm giving it a hat. 382 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,080 It's Priscilla. 383 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:18,120 Oh, yeah. Yeah, come on. Are you feeling this? 384 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,480 I reckon that's all right, you know. 385 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,240 Yeah. 386 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,000 But what people tend to do with dogs is they tend 387 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,840 to create something that looks like a cat. 388 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:31,200 It doesn't look at it and think of it as a cat. You do. 389 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,680 Cat. 390 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,280 APPLAUSE 391 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,920 Wow, Victoria. 392 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,040 When you got out the tennis ball and popped it down, 393 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,960 I accepted your authority. Hmm. 394 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,960 Then I even accepted your authority 395 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,120 when you suggested rubbing a cat on it. 396 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,640 You didn't even lose me at the idea 397 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,560 that they might be attracted by wee. Hmm. 398 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,480 Where you lost me is that 399 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,040 the dog might be attracted to YOUR wee. 400 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:01,560 Well, it'd be hard to get someone else's wee. 401 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,440 I was alone in the room. 402 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,640 Well, that is true. OK. 403 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,160 Now, correct me if I'm wrong, Guz - 404 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,160 you randomly just put a load of rubbish together. 405 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,720 No. I was thinking, human beings have been so... 406 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:18,360 distanced physically during this pandemic that dogs must also 407 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,680 be feeling exactly the same, so I created Priscilla 408 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,520 so that dog could sniff Priscilla's bum or whatever they do, 409 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,720 like, as, as a model. 410 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,800 This is like QVC, isn't it? No, I did have a point! 411 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,320 "And they're flying off! Ring now, we've only got 50 of them." 412 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:35,560 My money's on Chonky, 413 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,960 I'm gonna put it out there before we see the videos. OK, well... 414 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,920 I mean, my money's on chicken but I hope for Chonky. 415 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,720 Well, it's time to meet Marco 416 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:48,920 and it's time for Marco to meet Victoria and Desiree's creation. 417 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,560 Come in, Marco. 418 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:57,240 Hello, Marco. You have five minutes, starting now. 419 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,400 This is Chonky, Marco. 420 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,240 Look, there's a toy. 421 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,360 Hello, Marco? You're running out of time. 422 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:27,960 Marco, you've got 90 seconds left. 423 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:31,960 Ooh, look, look at Chonky. 424 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,040 Bye-bye. 425 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,600 BELL RINGS 426 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,000 That's your time up, Marco. 427 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,600 APPLAUSE 428 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,800 Well. Well done. 429 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,880 Looks like I backed the wrong horse. 430 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,320 Yeah, actively offended by Chonky. 431 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:55,160 And I mean, worse, not even aware of Chonky. 432 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,200 Even when Alex demonstrated Chonky. 433 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,520 Marco bit your balls, though. Victoria. Yeah. 434 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,160 He went in on the cat 435 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,880 and I think Marco's initial instinct was, 436 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:09,320 "Ah, there's a cat! I'm gonna rip it to pieces" 437 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,160 and then he came round the front and he went, 438 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,200 "Someone's already been at this cat." 439 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:16,800 Who's next? 440 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,120 OK, next it is the two dog owners, 441 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,680 so let's see Alan and Morgana completely storm the task. 442 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,400 I should say that Alan did also demand 443 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,320 we put a little bit of dog food in his one, so there is a little bit 444 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:30,080 of food on one end of his. Ooh! Here we go. 445 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,440 OK, you've got five minutes, Marco. Off you go. 446 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,720 This is Pipey, Marco. 447 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,360 Hmm. 448 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,160 Marco, can I interest you in the other end of Pipey? 449 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,600 There's not just that end, look, there's all this bit. 450 00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,520 Back on the mat, ready? 451 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,240 OK, Marco, that's your time up. 452 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:07,560 BELL RINGS 453 00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:11,520 Marco, please leave the room. 454 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,720 That's your time up, Marco. 455 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,720 You have to leave. 456 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,720 What's that? 457 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,720 APPLAUSE 458 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,080 I think one of these two pipe-based toys is better than the other. 459 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:44,640 Would you like to guess which one I think's better? 460 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,880 Um, I think you're gonna say Morgana's one. 461 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,640 Correct. Do you? 462 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:50,520 I do. I thought you were gonna pick Pipey. 463 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,320 No, I'm... Don't get me wrong... Pipey had a hat. 464 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,640 For me, as a toy, the food was concealed within... 465 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,920 What's yours called? 466 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,280 The Roast Chicken Cracker for Poodles. 467 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:05,240 It's a better toy because the chicken was concealed. 468 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,080 Hmm. Whereas Alan got a load of pipes together 469 00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:10,800 and then last minute got one of you to smear some food on the outside. 470 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,200 That is true. Well, is it a better toy in a week 471 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,320 when that's reeking of rotten chicken and that still smells like, 472 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:19,320 you know, dog treats? That's a good point. Well, the great thing 473 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,120 about Pipey is that if your dog's not that interested in it, 474 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,400 it's just a lovely object to have around the house. 475 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,040 It's beautiful. It's beautiful. 476 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,320 A break now. 477 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:30,560 Sometimes it's good to stop and reflect, 478 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,480 to really appreciate what you've got, 479 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,280 and this is one of those times. 480 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,600 So, if you're lucky enough to be next to someone, 481 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,880 just look across, take a moment and be thankful. 482 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,800 Urgh... 483 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,040 it's just your tooth. 484 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,240 APPLAUSE 485 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,200 Hello. Welcome back to Taskmaster. 486 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,160 Hope you've brought lots of stuff. 487 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,240 Oh, I did, actually. All of my sea monkeys died when 488 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,720 we were having a bath, so I've bought some more sea monkeys. 489 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,360 Before the break, we watched how 490 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,520 Marco the dog engaged with the creations of our competitors. 491 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,160 All of them, that is, but Guz's. 492 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,720 Here's how Marco got on with Priscilla. 493 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,240 Marco! 494 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,640 This is Priscilla. 495 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,800 OK, you've got three minutes left. 496 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,720 Marco, that's one of Priscilla's legs. 497 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,760 OK, Marco, you've got two minutes. 498 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,280 BELL RINGS 499 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,280 So, time up, Marco, you can leave. 500 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:03,880 You have to leave now, Marco. 501 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,520 Ahh. He loves it. Who'd have thunk it? 502 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,400 You're gonna make such a good dog father. 503 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,240 I mean, I take it back. 504 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,200 Priscilla, the absolute, uh, runaway hit. 505 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,440 Yeah. Just a load of rubbish. 506 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,680 A load of rubbish that didn't represent anything 507 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,360 and the dog would've stayed there all day. 508 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,440 So, I imagine you can score this already? 509 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,480 Yeah, if you're happy they're all cute toys. 510 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:38,840 As I've said, they're all objets d'art I'd welcome around my home. 511 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:42,360 I mean, Marco ignored Desiree's Chonky completely. 512 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,160 Of course. Chonky was a commercial disaster, 513 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,400 and I, I invested in that toy. 514 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:50,840 So one point to Desiree. 515 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,320 It would be two to Victoria, I think, because, uh, 516 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:56,280 he did play a little bit. Three points, then, to Alan's Pipey. 517 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,840 Yep. Four to Morgana's Roast Chicken Cracker. 518 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,600 And then against all odds... 519 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:04,360 Yes. Guz's Priscilla - no food involved, just string, 520 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,480 a tongue and some toilet rolls - 521 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:07,720 five points! 522 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,120 Five points for Guz Khan. Big up Priscilla. 523 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,120 Yeah! 524 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,120 Just goes to show you that on this show sometimes 525 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,560 it pays to put virtually no thought into your attempt. 526 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,520 Right, what have we got next? 527 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:25,280 Circles. Lots of circles and a shredder. Ooh! 528 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,360 Oh, hello. 529 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,280 The energy I brought to you. 530 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,200 Do you mind shutting the door behind you? 531 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,640 Hi, Morgana. Hello. 532 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:46,920 How are you feeling? 533 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:50,320 I'm excellent, very, very calm. Chilled. 534 00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:52,800 I love it when you have that cheeky smile like, 535 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,400 nothing to see here. 536 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,000 So much to see here. 537 00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,520 "Sit on the red chair." 538 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:06,320 "Sit on the red chair in the secret tower." 539 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:08,360 Oh, secret tower, OK, great. 540 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:14,040 "You may only step on circles on your way." 541 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,040 "You may only stand on each circle once." Oi, oi, oi. 542 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:18,840 "Unless it is black." 543 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:26,320 "You may stand on a black circle twice but never twice in a row." 544 00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:28,440 That's enough rules. 545 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,840 "Also"... Oh, come on! 546 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,080 SHE SIGHS 547 00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:36,040 "Also, you must put this task in the shredder 548 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,240 "within the first minute." 549 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:43,360 "If you fail for any reason, Alex will blow his whistle. 550 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,480 "Return everything to its starting position 551 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,800 "and you must start again." This is cruel, brother. 552 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:52,080 It's cool? It's cruel. Very cool. C-R-U-E-L. Oh, yes. 553 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,120 OK, just hold on a second, does that sign say secret tower? Yes. 554 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,880 "Fastest wins." My time starts when Alex says my name. 555 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,120 I don't un... I don't understand. 556 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,840 Yeah, she wasn't the only one not to understand. 557 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,080 No. But she was the main one. 558 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:09,920 Each of them are sort of locked in 559 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,600 a specific way of reacting to most tasks now. 560 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,600 Guz is always absolutely calm, 561 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:20,200 even though I know he's usually gonna do quite badly. 562 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:25,400 There's a feeling of, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I've got this." 563 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,440 Um, the difficulty here for me would be remembering the rules. 564 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,280 Yes. They were many and varied. It was overly complicated deliberately 565 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:35,240 cos they then had to shred the task so they couldn't refer to it again. Yes, they couldn't reread it. 566 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,880 Very clever. Yes, a very clever boy. 567 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,040 Do you want to see how Desiree and Victoria got on? 568 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,640 You know I do. 569 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:43,360 OK, here we go. 570 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,720 I hope you have a nice time in the great hall, Victoria. 571 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,280 Thank you! 572 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,160 Oh, you've said my name. Right, OK. 573 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:50,800 Well, have a nice time, Desiree. 574 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,880 Cheers, thanks for starting my time, much appreciated. 575 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,040 Why did I put that so far away? 576 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:09,880 Within the first minute? 577 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:11,760 Holy crap, that's not a lot of time. 578 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,880 But you can go black, black, it's just the same one it can't be? 579 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:18,600 All the information's on the task. 580 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:20,560 SHE LAUGHS 581 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,280 This is stressful. 582 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:23,720 WHISTLE BLOWS 583 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,920 Please return to your first circle and start again. 584 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,440 What did I do wrong? You were too slow to get to the shredder. 585 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:31,720 Mother-father! 586 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,040 Where's the chair? 587 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,800 But it says it's a red chair in the secret tower. 588 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,720 There is not a chair in this room. 589 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,520 Ah, moving. 590 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:49,040 Wow. 591 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:56,120 But there... But there isn't a red chair. 592 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:57,160 Oh, joy. OK... 593 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:04,840 I've stopped the clock. 594 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,160 Yay. Thanks for my sweet. 595 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,600 Yes, you can enjoy that now. 596 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,880 Are they in the balloon? 597 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,120 This is a sweet... 598 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,680 I mean, there can't be a chair in a sweet, can there? 599 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,640 Am I supposed to make a chair? 600 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,080 I mean... 601 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,760 Do...do I have to... 602 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,960 ..make it be in here? 603 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,320 I think you do have to make it be in there. 604 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,680 But there isn't a red chair! 605 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,440 There's no red chair anywhere. 606 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,480 So, if something... 607 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,160 ..is being sat on by a person, 608 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:44,960 does that make it a chair? 609 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,600 So, looking around, there's a red chair in the secret tower 610 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,560 if I sit on it, which I am now doing. 611 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,760 Do you want me to stop the clock? Yes. 612 00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:57,680 I've stopped the clock. Thank you. 613 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,240 Well, great. 614 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:01,800 APPLAUSE 615 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,440 GREG: OK, good. 616 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,480 Desiree just disappointingly chilled, really. 617 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,960 Yeah! Just perfectly happy with the task. 618 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,960 You briefly said, "mother-father", 619 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,360 and I thought, "Good, we're on for some frustration," 620 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,960 but pretty cool, got there. I got there in the end. 621 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,120 Well done, you. Now, Victoria. 622 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:22,440 LAUGHTER 623 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,640 If ever there was a sentence that showed us 624 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,320 we should never judge people 625 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,720 on our previous impression of their intelligence, 626 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,000 I believe it is the sentence, 627 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,880 "There can't be a chair within that sweet, can there?" 628 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:37,800 Do you know, 629 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,000 after a certain number of tasks, 630 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,240 there was no trust left. 631 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,560 My mind was addled. 632 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,680 I...maybe you suck the sweet and then there's a little bit of... 633 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:51,120 ..and there's...you'll find the chair out of the window. 634 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,800 It was yet another task where she forgot her glasses. Yeah. 635 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:56,520 It's one of the main problems. Yeah. 636 00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,960 Let's cut the lady some slack. OK. 637 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,400 Because she has, on national television, just said, 638 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,720 "There can't be a chair within that sweet, can there?" 639 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,840 And...and that's gonna be there for life. 640 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,240 LAUGHTER 641 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:08,840 That is, that's there forever. 642 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,840 I'm gonna allow your definition of a chair at this stage, so... OK. 643 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,360 ..let's leave it. Fine. Charitable! Who's next? 644 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,560 Next up it's Alan and Guz. 645 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,360 Are you ready, Alan? 646 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,160 I can only step on a red circle... 647 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,080 Was that you saying my name? Yes. 648 00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:26,800 ..twice, but never twice in a row. 649 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,240 Good luck, Guz. 650 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,680 You said my name. 651 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,760 Oh, no. 652 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,120 SHREDDER WHIRS 653 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:46,120 And now I realise, 654 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,760 cos this is the kind of person I am, 655 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,000 I should've read it one more time before I shredded it. 656 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,400 Now I don't even know what the task is. 657 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:53,880 Long story cut short. 658 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:03,200 Oh, do you know what? 659 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,200 HE LAUGHS 660 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:06,480 What's wrong, Alan? 661 00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,360 Well, I haven't got the red chair. 662 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,680 It was....I was going so well, look, I've gone all this way. 663 00:34:12,720 --> 00:34:15,960 I was meant to get to the red chair with that stepping on these things, 664 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,320 now I'm here in this chair 665 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,960 and I don't know what the fuck is going on. 666 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,400 I'm gonna make a mistake right now. 667 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:24,040 Don't step in a row. WHISTLE BLOWS 668 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:25,920 You've stepped on that one three times, Guz. 669 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,480 You'll have to start again. Please stand on that first circle. 670 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:32,840 You know, I've just eaten two Creme Eggs 671 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,400 and I'm not really up for this. 672 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,200 There's a sweet, can I have it? 673 00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:56,920 You can have the sweet. I'll stop the clock. 674 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,400 Are you sat down on the red chair in the secret tower? I am. 675 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:02,840 I'll stop the clock. 676 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,040 Can I have my balloons back, please? 677 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:08,600 Huh? 678 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,280 What balloons you talking about? 679 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:11,640 LAUGHTER 680 00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:13,440 APPLAUSE 681 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,840 You see what I mean about Guz? That initial confidence. 682 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,320 I'd... I'd follow Guz into battle. 683 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:20,920 When...when you get there, you go, 684 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:23,680 "Oh, no, we shouldn't have come over this ridge." 685 00:35:23,720 --> 00:35:26,640 We'd get absolutely slaughtered. 686 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,240 Guz went from, "Yeah, yeah, no, I've got this covered," 687 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,000 to being a man 688 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,000 standing in a room with a handful of cardboard circles in his hand 689 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,000 having to guess the task. 690 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,840 I'm sort of intrigued by your two Creme Eggs system. 691 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:42,880 Yeah, before every task, Alan would have... 692 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,200 Is that what happens at a certain time of day? 693 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:47,480 Alan's got to have his two Creme Eggs? 694 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,840 I don't remember at all. 695 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,400 What I remember about that task 696 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,080 is I'd collected every circle I could find in the room 697 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,800 cos I thought, when it said "secret tower" and you opened the door, 698 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,040 I imagined there was gonna be another mile of walking 699 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,240 and it was just this tiny little room. 700 00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,680 Yeah. Pointless. I went all the way over there to get these. 701 00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:04,480 The Creme Eggs had given you too much energy 702 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,040 and you forgot the chair! 703 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:09,960 Right, only one part left, but first, some adverts. 704 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,600 I hope there's an advert where a family buys some things 705 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,080 and then they're all happier. 706 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:15,640 GROW UP! 707 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:17,040 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 708 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:25,520 APPLAUSE 709 00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:26,680 Ah, hello! 710 00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:30,240 Welcome back to the warm love fest-slash-battle zone 711 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:31,600 that is Taskmaster. 712 00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,000 There was a tricky little task going on before the break, 713 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:35,840 wasn't there, Alex? You're right. 714 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,800 They've been trying to get to the secret tower with a red chair, 715 00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,360 standing only on circles on their way. One person left, 716 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,720 and she's the only Morgana we'll ever have on the show, 717 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,400 so let's savour her name and watch her take on the task. 718 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,720 Here is Morgana. 719 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,440 Only step on circles, please, Morgana. 720 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,600 So that's the shredder there? Yes. 721 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:55,960 OK, I think I've got an idea. 722 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,600 Well, I've said your name. 723 00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:58,960 Fuck! 724 00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:05,640 AUDIENCE: Ooh! 725 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:10,520 Pop it in the shredder? 726 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,080 SHREDDER WHIRS 727 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,080 WHISTLE BLOWS 728 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:23,480 Right, please start again. 729 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,160 How? I've only stood on it once. 730 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,000 Yeah, but afterwards, you stood over there. 731 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,760 I don't want to argue with you. Please stand on the big circle. 732 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,840 Sit on the red...chair in the secret tower! 733 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,480 I totally forgot about that bit, didn't I? Yes. 734 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,320 SHE LAUGHS 735 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,000 Oh! 736 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:46,800 But where's the secret tower? 737 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:49,440 What? 738 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,600 This doesn't make any sense. This isn't a secret tower. 739 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,040 No. WHISTLE BLOWS 740 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,240 Right, I need... I need to give you another task now. 741 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,720 You've just spent over a minute and you haven't shredded it. 742 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,320 SHE GROANS 743 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,280 Oh, the secret tower! 744 00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,560 SHREDDER WHIRS 745 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,440 SHE GIGGLES 746 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,920 I might take these just in case. OK. 747 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:25,720 SHE GIGGLES 748 00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:29,520 Ah! 749 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,280 SHE GIGGLES 750 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,960 AUDIENCE LAUGHS 751 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,240 Can I have that sweet? 752 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,240 I've stopped the clock. You can eat your sweet. 753 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:40,880 Thank you. 754 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:42,640 It's a bit spooky, innit? 755 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,200 Are you scared? 756 00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:46,520 Yeah, I don't like it. It smells funny in here. 757 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,320 APPLAUSE 758 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,160 Right, well done. 759 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,240 That created that will become known from this day forth 760 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,520 as the Morgana slide. Yes. 761 00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,200 And, bonus, we were treated to, uh, 762 00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:01,840 Jack Nicholson as the Joker. 763 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,080 GREG CACKLES 764 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,400 I actually got the giggles cos it was so ridiculous. 765 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,160 I was like, what am I doing? 766 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,160 Well, do you want me to give you the times? Yeah. 767 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,320 And do you want me to give them in minutes and seconds, 768 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:17,320 or to convert it into years, if we say one hour is the average lifespan of a human? 769 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,760 Well, I'd like it just in minutes... Yes, but I've done... 770 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,760 ..like a normal person. ..quite a lot of maths. 771 00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,440 But I also... Yeah? ..I...I know that you like this... 772 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,640 ..this novelty bullshit, so convert it if you want. 773 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,200 In which case, Victoria would've spent 11 years and 11 months 774 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:30,880 getting to that secret tower. 775 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,240 What on earth are you talking about? Well, I just said... 776 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,680 Just...just indulge him. 777 00:39:35,720 --> 00:39:38,600 Whereas Guz, Guz, 9 years and 1 month, 778 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,160 so still quite a long time. 6 minutes 45. 779 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,840 Alan, 5 minutes 37, 7 years and 6 months. 780 00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,440 Morgana took almost exactly 5 years, 781 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,040 that's 3 minutes 45. 782 00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,560 But Desiree, just over 4 years, 3 minutes 5 seconds, 783 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,720 she was quicker than the slide! She gets five points! 784 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,040 Oh, yes! Oh, my God. It feels so good! Yes! 785 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:56,720 Morgana didn't win the task 786 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:59,640 but she is joint in the lead with Guz Khan on 14 points. 787 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,400 Whoa. 788 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:04,640 OK, please remove yourselves from the chairs 789 00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,640 and head to the stage for the final task of the show! 790 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:13,840 Hello, friends and hello, Alex. 791 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,320 I love you. 792 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:16,840 AUDIENCE: Aww! OK, do you want 793 00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,040 someone to read the task? Yes, please. Guz Khan. 794 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:20,560 OK. Perfect. 795 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,440 Let's try it then, go on. 796 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:25,440 Choose the number of sheets you want 797 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,400 for the second part of the task. 798 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:33,720 Each sheet will reduce your points total by five. 799 00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:37,160 You have 30 seconds to select your sheets. 800 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,400 So by sheets, obviously, I meant sheets of paper, 801 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:40,880 but we all know that. 802 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,160 Um, I should say every sheet of paper used 803 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,840 will cost you five points in the game, 804 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,000 whatever the game is. Ready? Hmm. 805 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,640 WHISTLE BLOWS 806 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,120 How many are in here? 807 00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,120 There's 25 in that box. 808 00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,480 Are we likely to wish we had more paper or wish we had less? 809 00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:57,960 Mm... Sheets on the table. 810 00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,840 Blud... 811 00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:01,080 WHISTLE BLOWS 812 00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,040 That has annoyed them more than I thought it might. 813 00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,440 OK, so, Alan, how many sheets of paper did you choose? 814 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,440 I've got eight. Eight for Alan. 815 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,840 Whoops, he's on -40 already. 816 00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,000 Desiree, how many have you got? Two. 817 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:14,800 Guz? I did two as well. 818 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,800 Morgana? Six. 819 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,720 And Victoria? Seven. Seven. 820 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,080 OK, I've got part two of the task for you now. Hmm. 821 00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:23,080 Make paper aeroplanes. Oh. 822 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:26,320 Your paper aeroplanes must look like aeroplanes. Oh... 823 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:27,960 You can't just scrunch them into balls. 824 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,360 You'll have two minutes to make your paper aeroplanes, 825 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,600 then 30 seconds each to throw all your paper aeroplanes into the receptacles. 826 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,640 You'll see the receptacles have points on them. 827 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,040 Most points wins. 828 00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:39,520 Your time starts now. 829 00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,080 Great...great. 830 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:42,360 This is painful. 831 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,320 So, the likes of Alan, he's up against it, 832 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:45,840 he's on minus 40, 833 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,960 but the bin over there is worth ten points. 834 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,920 I mean, imagine if I'd taken all 25, which I considered. 835 00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:53,160 Don't! 836 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,680 LAUGHTER 837 00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,000 How do you make it have that triangle at the end? 838 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:00,640 Look, do that...that bit there. 839 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:01,720 Five seconds. 840 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:03,440 VICTORIA: I don't know how you do it! 841 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,000 MORGANA: Oh, this is so unfair. 842 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,800 Please stop folding your paper. 843 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,000 So we're gonna go from first to last this time. Yeah. 844 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,680 Morgana is joint in the lead so, Morgana, 845 00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:12,600 please bring all your planes over to the front. 846 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,120 You're on -30 points at the moment. 847 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,520 You've got 30 seconds to throw seven aeroplanes. 848 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:17,760 Let's fly. 849 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:18,880 WHISTLE BLOWS 850 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:20,040 Bollocks. 851 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:21,280 Five points down. 852 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,040 Bollocks. Ten points. 853 00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:26,800 Bollocks! 854 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:33,080 Ooh... So close to not bollocks. 855 00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,520 Oh! Ooh, now will she get any points for that, Greg? 856 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,040 I'm afraid she won't, no. 857 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,320 Bollocks. Oh. 858 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,680 It's -30 to Morgana. Please return to your table. 859 00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:45,400 Sorry, Morgana. 860 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:46,960 Them's the breaks. 861 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,080 Flying is a tough game. Who's next? 862 00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:53,040 Next to play the tough game is Guz Khan. Ah, top gun. 863 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,640 What are you flying towards, Guz? 864 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,200 We try for the five. Uh-huh. 865 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:59,000 And if it don't pan out, we'll just slap it down there. Yeah? 866 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,960 That's what pilots say. Good luck. 867 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,560 WHISTLE BLOWS OK. 868 00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,200 Oh, beautiful. Oh! Oh! 869 00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:07,840 DESIREE: He had to go for it. 870 00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:10,680 Oh! Oh! 871 00:43:10,720 --> 00:43:12,520 Guz Khan scores minus ten. 872 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,720 Next up, it's Alan, who's currently in third place. 873 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,520 Alan, please bring your many, many planes to the front. 874 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,840 Alan. Yes? 38 planes. 875 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,320 WHISTLE BLOWS 876 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,480 Oh! 877 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:27,960 Alan's gonna do it. 878 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,320 That was cruel. ALAN: It was cruel. 879 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:32,760 That took eight seconds. Go on, Al. Oh! 880 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,400 Oh, the glide on it! 881 00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,320 17 seconds. 882 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,720 Oh! 14 seconds. 883 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,240 15 points down. Oh... 884 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:42,920 Ten seconds left, Alan. Ten seconds. 885 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:44,920 Ten seconds left. Ten seconds left. 886 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:47,120 Oh! Five seconds. 887 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,240 Oh! Four seconds. 888 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:50,520 Oh, it's gone miles! 889 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,200 Oh, my God. WHISTLE BLOWS 890 00:43:52,240 --> 00:43:53,880 - 40 to Alan Davies. 891 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,120 APPLAUSE 892 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,360 An aeronautical disaster! 893 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,720 LAUGHTER 894 00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:00,920 Desiree up next with her... Go on, D. ..two... Dessy! 895 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,000 Go, then, D. ..two aeroplanes. Lovely. 896 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:04,800 WHISTLE BLOWS 897 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,920 Oh, so close! 898 00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,680 All right... Wow. 899 00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:11,760 Oh! Oh! 900 00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:13,080 - 10 to Desiree. 901 00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:15,200 APPLAUSE 902 00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:18,320 Well, it's all built up to Victoria's moment. Has it? Has it? 903 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,360 Are you gonna be the unlikely top gun? 904 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,240 Can you show me that end one just there? 905 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,400 This is...this is, no... This is an avant-garde... 906 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:28,080 Look, there's its pointy nose and... DESIREE: It's a Frank Gehry. 907 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,320 Yeah, it's like a... It's a work of art. Yeah, I buy that. 908 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:32,160 Good luck, Victoria. WHISTLE BLOWS 909 00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,600 Oh, lovely floating action. 910 00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,080 Not a disaster. Get it in the bowl! 911 00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,120 ALAN: Got to get a bit of air. Don't go downwards. 912 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:40,880 Throw a little bit upwards. Yeah. 913 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:42,560 Oh! Oh! 914 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,040 ALL: OH! 915 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,960 15 seconds left, Victoria. 15 seconds. 916 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,560 You almost saved the show. 917 00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:52,320 Nope. 918 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:53,640 Oh, it hit it. 919 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:55,480 You've got ten seconds left, Victoria. Oh, OK. 920 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:56,840 There... There. 921 00:44:58,240 --> 00:45:00,000 And this... 922 00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,320 And the avant-garde one. This is the one. This is the one! 923 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:03,760 Come on, come on, come on. 924 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:05,720 This is the runt of the litter, come on! Three! 925 00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:07,240 LAUGHTER 926 00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:08,600 WHISTLE BLOWS 927 00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,480 That's...that's -35. 928 00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:15,360 Absolutely appalling. 929 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,000 LAUGHTER 930 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,360 Come down so we can conclude 931 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,040 the worst task in the show's history. 932 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:23,520 APPLAUSE 933 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,000 Welcome back. 934 00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:29,800 That was so exciting. 935 00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:34,440 It... Oh, honestly, what an adrenaline rush. 936 00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,240 Well, it was a task to see who could pick 937 00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:38,240 the fewest pieces of paper out of the box, 938 00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,880 so, um, Alan came last. 939 00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,840 Gets 1 point with his -40. 940 00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:46,840 Victoria, 2, with -35. Morgana, 3, with -30. 941 00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:48,840 We've got joint first place with -10, 942 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:52,200 Desiree and Guz Khan. There it is. 943 00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:54,480 That means that Guz Khan is now into triple figures 944 00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:56,400 with the series score. Wow. Wow. 945 00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:57,720 He is our current leader. 946 00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:01,360 He has also won this episode with a massive 19 points, Guz Khan. 947 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,040 Oh, my God. Guz Khan wins! 948 00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:08,160 Please, go and get your desirable thing and some other things! 949 00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,080 My! 950 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:11,600 So what have we learned today? 951 00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:13,640 We've learnt that if you find yourself on holiday 952 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:15,400 and all the sun loungers have been taken, 953 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,040 then why not wade your way through a tin of Quality Street? 954 00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,360 You never know, there might be a chair in there! 955 00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,840 We've also learnt that paper aeroplanes and bathroom furniture 956 00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,000 don't make good television. 957 00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:27,600 See you soon. 958 00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,200 And well done again to Guz Khan! 959 00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:32,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 960 00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:57,240 Subtitles by Red Bee Media