1 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:04,120 Ah! 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:05,400 Nh, spla. Ooh! 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,040 BELL DINGS 4 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:10,360 Is this a joke? 5 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,400 Yeah! 6 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:15,480 Mm-mm! Oh! 7 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,120 Oh! 8 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,320 Oh, I like that! 9 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,560 Oh! Wow. Mm! 10 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:28,360 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 11 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,360 Taskmaster was recorded in accordance with all social 12 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,360 distancing guidelines in place at the time of filming 13 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 14 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,920 Hello, one and all! 15 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,320 I'm Greg Davies, and I am the Taskmaster, 16 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,040 and this is Taskmaster! 17 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,760 It's a brand-new series with a brand-new cast 18 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,560 and a brand-new set of tasks. 19 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,440 But I'm not brand-new. 20 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,880 Quite the contrary. 21 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,240 I'm a living relic, an almighty deity, 22 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:54,400 resurrected time and time again. 23 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:58,880 I'm not as good as God, but I sure am one swell guy. 24 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:03,960 So, who are the five so desperate to get their hands on my golden goblet 25 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,480 that they would go against the explicit advice of their agents? 26 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,920 Well, let's cast our eyes across five faces of fear, 27 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,720 and please welcome Alan Davies... 28 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,080 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 29 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,640 ..Desiree Burch... CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 30 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,200 ..Guz Khan... CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 31 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,560 ..Morgana Robinson... CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 32 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,200 ..and Victoria Coren-Mitchell. 33 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,080 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 34 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,760 And now, to my assistant. 35 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,000 Usually I introduce him in a derogatory way, 36 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,920 but, for a change, I thought he could read the introduction 37 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,000 I've written for him. 38 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,280 Over to you. 39 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,040 My name is Alex and, in interviews, 40 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,960 I pretend Greg and I are friends in real life. 41 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,800 But, in truth, we barely know each other. 42 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,760 Also, I've got a little winkie. 43 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,000 It's little Alex Horne! 44 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,880 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 45 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,400 Do you want to play a quick game of "whose face am I sitting on"? 46 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,400 Yes, cos I know this is the pre-prepared banter 47 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,240 you've got for us. It's a little game for you. 48 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,680 I thought you'd enjoy this. Whose face am I sitting on, Greg? 49 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,800 I don't know, Alex. You can have 120 guesses. 50 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:00,840 OK. 51 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,080 LAUGHTER 52 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,640 I can do an impression of them. OK. 53 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,680 "Oh, would you like a present?" 54 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:07,840 Er, Father Christmas! 55 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,400 Yes! Father Christmas. 56 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,160 That was really good. 57 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,240 You can't sit on Father Christmas' face. 58 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,840 Oh, yes, you can. 59 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,080 LAUGHTER 60 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,000 Right, same old prize task, is it? 61 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,560 Yes, way, Jose. 62 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,360 And for this first episode, they've been asked to bring in 63 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,120 the thing that, if you put it in a bag and sit on it, 64 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:27,760 it would feel the nicest. 65 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,520 There are five enormous points available for the best thing 66 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,960 that would feel the nicest when sat on in a big bag, 67 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,800 and the winner of tonight's episode will win all five things, 68 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,720 and therefore require an even bigger bag. 69 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,840 And a much bigger bottom. 70 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,560 This task, to me, feels fraught with dangers, 71 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,200 but I know I'm going to start with a mature man who I know 72 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,440 won't have gone route one. 73 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:49,680 Alan Davies. 74 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,720 Welcome to the show, what have you brought in? 75 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,600 It's an inflatable cushion... 76 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,120 OK. ..which I have for the kids in the car. 77 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,520 But as an optional extra, 78 00:02:58,560 --> 00:02:59,840 an electric toothbrush. 79 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,840 A car seat and a toothbrush. There you go, Greg. 80 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,800 You probably would put the toothbrush inside the cushion. 81 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,200 It's got a little zip. 82 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,920 Then you turn it on and, of course, it buzzes and vibrates. 83 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,280 And that's always a bonus in a seat, isn't it? 84 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,040 Do you imagine the toothbrush to be lengthways? 85 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,680 Of course. Or sideways? 86 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,480 Oh, don't be ridiculous. 87 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,400 LAUGHTER 88 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,200 I expect questions, but come on, there's a level of common sense. 89 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,640 You'd have to recharge it, 90 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,920 so there's a limited amount of time for you to enjoy the vibration 91 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,480 of your seat, Alan. 92 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,800 And that, my friend, is where the whole thing falls down. 93 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,840 LAUGHTER 94 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,680 Des... Desiree. 95 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,280 The most comfortable thing, I think, on planet Earth are boobs. 96 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,720 and you can't put human boobs in a bag because...sick. 97 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,800 But you can get a replica of those in a bag. 98 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:54,000 So, what we got were those chicken cutlets, like, that replicate boobs. 99 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,800 Chicken fillets? Yeah, those little guys. 100 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,200 Oh, you mean that thing you...? Yeah, that go bloop, right? 101 00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,560 And they feel boob-like in a bag. 102 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,320 Here's a bunch of boobs for you. OK. 103 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:05,760 ALAN: Static boobs, no variety, no variation, no rotation. 104 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,440 Well, I mean, you can go to a couple different shops, if you want, 105 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,120 and get different boobs, all right? 106 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,200 To be honest, they can all laugh, 107 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,120 but we've managed to get guys home with those. Yeah! So... 108 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,480 LAUGHTER 109 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,720 You haven't managed to get any guys home with them in a bag. 110 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,440 Guz, what have you brought? 111 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,480 I bought a chair, and then, I put it in a bag. 112 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,280 Here is the chair. 113 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,520 It's the same one as he's sitting on at the moment. 114 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,680 Right, so he didn't bring a chair, he's just... 115 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,400 No, I might've bought it, you don't know. 116 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,480 It's important that you and I form a bond of honesty 117 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:39,880 at this stage in the series. 118 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,800 So, I ask you this now... 119 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,600 ..last minute, did you think, 120 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,840 "I'm just going to say I brought this chair?" 121 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,200 Yeah, a little bit. Right, good. 122 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,000 Last place. Morgana. 123 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,960 LAUGHTER 124 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,320 What have you brought in? 125 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,560 I've brought in a spinning washing machine. 126 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,040 But it's got to be on spin, not just any old washing machine. 127 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,640 OK. But it's got to be, you know, on "vibrate" for the last bit. 128 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,760 And we can see it spinning right now, Greg. OK. 129 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,320 There it is. See, there it goes. That's going to... Yeah, yeah. 130 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,840 I've got... Same vibe. 131 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,600 Same vibe, but a little bit less subtle, I think, Morgana, 132 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:12,640 but there you are. 133 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,680 I put it to you, it's a hugely uncomfortable seat. 134 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,200 I just think it's a bit like - I mean, I'm not saying I want to 135 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:18,920 spend all night on it, but I think... 136 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,160 How long do you want to spend on it? Five, ten? 137 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,760 LAUGHTER 138 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,240 I think it'll give me bum problems. 139 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:28,000 Do you really think? I think it'll tighten everything up. It isn't. 140 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,360 I think it'll do the opposite. 141 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,120 I think it'll work things out that I wouldn't want worked out. 142 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,840 Victoria. Yes. 143 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,360 You got a nice sitting thing? 144 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,680 Diamonds. 145 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,000 Interesting. 146 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:41,920 All this soft things and squishy things, and vibrating things 147 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,280 are all very well. 148 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:47,560 I'm looking for the greater comfort of long-term financial security. 149 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,080 LAUGHTER 150 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,880 So, these are the diamonds that the winner is going to sit on. 151 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,400 Quite a few. You've brought those in, Victoria? 152 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,040 No, of course not. 153 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,720 If I had that many diamonds, I wouldn't be here. 154 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,040 So, what you're offering up is the concept? 155 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:07,800 You asked what, if you put them in a bag and sat on them, 156 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:10,440 would feel the nicest - and I say diamonds. 157 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,200 As a rule... I don't enjoy this kind of attitude. 158 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:23,000 There's an over-confidence to it that I've stamped out of Alex. 159 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:26,080 LAUGHTER 160 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,880 Thank you. 161 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,400 Here are my judgments. 162 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:34,000 In last place, guess who? 163 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,000 Is it Guz Khan? It's Guz Khan! 164 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,520 One point to Guz... 165 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,720 Guz, you're in the lead currently. 166 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,960 Obviously, er, the washing machine, 167 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,160 the second-laziest thing here, two points. 168 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,360 Controversially... 169 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,800 Oh, now this is interesting. 170 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,880 ..it's the diamond-bum girl, three points. Oh! 171 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,720 Above a lifetime's supply of diamonds, I'm going to have 172 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,120 a vibrating toothbrush. 173 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,040 So, four points to Alan Davies. Four points. 174 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,920 And five points to Desiree! 175 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,280 Congratulations. And we're off! Desiree, five points. 176 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,360 Well done, Desiree. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 177 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,200 Whoo! Feel the rush! 178 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,800 LAUGHTER 179 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,120 What's first on our agenda? 180 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:16,120 OK, we are starting with a new non-non-contact sport. 181 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,000 MORGANA: Where's Alex? 182 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,560 Is he off sick? 183 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,600 Cheeky cacti, yeah. 184 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:45,880 OK. 185 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,800 Thought I was going to call it a cactuses. 186 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,720 It's cacti. 187 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,000 ALAN: It's not a real cactus. 188 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,000 "Strike Alex with a ball." 189 00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,520 "Alex may not run..." 190 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:00,800 "..Hide..." 191 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,600 "..or leave the Taskmaster grounds. 192 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:03,960 "Fastest wins. 193 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,480 So, I've got to find the little BLEEP. 194 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,640 VICTORIA: "Your time starts now." 195 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,000 But do I have to find the ball? 196 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,320 Where's Alex? 197 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,840 APPLAUSE 198 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,120 A sneaky task, Greg. 199 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,560 Why is it sneaky? 200 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,840 Well, they had a little camera there. Yeah. 201 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:31,720 And I could see what the camera was showing on my little screen here, 202 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,400 so I could see where they were moving, but they didn't necessarily 203 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,560 know that I could see that. 204 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,920 Well, I don't want to mess around, I just want to get going. 205 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,080 Who are we seeing first? 206 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,600 The first two people we're going to see share their names with old men, 207 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:43,800 it's Des and Vic. 208 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,960 DESIREE: Erm...er... 209 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,680 Where the hell would a ball - would probably be in here? 210 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,400 Erm... 211 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,360 Oh. 212 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,760 Hello. Hello. SHE LAUGHS 213 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,480 Do you have a ball with you? No. 214 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:03,960 Why...why am I looking in here? 215 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,160 This doesn't make any sense. 216 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,720 Er, OK abort, abort. Abort! 217 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:14,080 I don't need two, do I? 218 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,960 Wait, wha...? 219 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,600 I thought you couldn't... 220 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,120 It says you can't hide! 221 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,000 This is...this is a ball. 222 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,120 All right, where's the Alex? 223 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:30,640 But he can't hide. 224 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,800 Not there, OK. 225 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,520 Well, this is ridiculous. 226 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:38,440 Are you watching all this on camera and knowing where to go? 227 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,040 Cos that is horrible. 228 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,480 This is hiding! 229 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,160 If I can't see you, it's hiding. 230 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,680 Where have you hidden this tall man?! 231 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,640 There's...and there he goes. 232 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,080 There, right. 233 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,840 I'm not good at throwing. 234 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,200 I'm so sorry! 235 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,520 OK, where the hell haven't I looked? 236 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:09,920 Oh, hello! 237 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,240 Shouldn't run, but I saw you! 238 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,400 Stop doing the thing I know you're doing, man! 239 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,920 No...no! SHE LAUGHS 240 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,960 Ah! I gotcha! Wha-ha-ha! 241 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,440 What a blow. 242 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,280 You're running, you're running. I'm not allowed to run. 243 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,600 There, there! 244 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,080 SLOWED-DOWN: There! 245 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,600 I've stopped the clock. 246 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,080 That...is the most exercise I've done since I was at school. 247 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:47,080 APPLAUSE 248 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,960 Desiree, there's a book of Taskmaster quotes, 249 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,680 and, er, "Stop doing the thing I know you're doing"... 250 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,360 LAUGHTER 251 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,680 ..is going immediately into it. 252 00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,680 Desiree spent the longest looking for the ball. 253 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,480 We didn't expect that to be... part of the task. 254 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:03,800 No. 255 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,280 What I enjoyed, though, is your natural anger towards Alex. Yes! 256 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:12,080 And for you to feel rage this early bodes very well for you. 257 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,560 Now, it seems to me, Victoria, 258 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,280 that you were baffled by the rules of the game. 259 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,960 And you sought to impose your own rules. 260 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,080 "If I can't see you, it's hiding." 261 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,600 Is everyone you can't see now hiding from you? 262 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,600 LAUGHTER 263 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,640 I thought that I'd found him. 264 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:33,000 "OK, there he is, great. Now I'll get the ball." 265 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,600 And then, I came back, and he wasn't there - that is hiding. 266 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,320 I had moved, that's true. How did they both do? 267 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,080 Victoria was the slower of the two, seven minutes, 24. Hm. 268 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,720 But only 63 seconds quicker, over here, six minutes and three seconds 269 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,120 is in the lead at the moment. 270 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,920 There we are. Six minutes spent looking for the ball. 271 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,000 Yeah, yeah. LAUGHTER 272 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,560 Lovely start. Right, we're going to have a break now. 273 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,640 Let's see if Alex can finally buff my bottom well enough 274 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,520 to see his crooked tooth in it! 275 00:11:58,560 --> 00:11:59,960 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 276 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:13,640 Hello, and welcome back to the first part two of the series. 277 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,160 Before the break, the new cast were partaking 278 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,720 in one of my favourite pastimes of hitting Alex with a ball. 279 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,160 Yes, you're so good at it, big guy. 280 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,280 We've learnt that Desiree and Victoria 281 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,400 prefer not to travel above walking pace, 282 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,280 but are Alan and Guz more au fait with urgency? 283 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,960 Let's find out. 284 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,640 I think, uh, find a ball first. 285 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,520 Oh, that's annoying cos I saw him and he's gone, but he's not hiding. 286 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:58,880 He's just moved. 287 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,840 Alex? 288 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,240 Alex! 289 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,160 Alex! Yeah? 290 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,920 Alex? Yeah? 291 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,200 Alex? Yes? 292 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,640 Alex! 293 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,600 I've looked in all the bits. 294 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,400 Alex? Hello? Alex? 295 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:35,560 Alex! It's me! Hey! 296 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:40,840 Maybe I'll just have a, a snack, since I can't find him. 297 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,000 Guz? 298 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:46,440 Hello, Guz? Alex? 299 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,680 Guz? 300 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,800 Is there anywhere you can go? Is there an upstairs? 301 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,040 Alex? Yes? 302 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,120 Are you in there? 303 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,920 Alex? Alex! 304 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:18,960 Ow! I was calling you for, like, half an hour. I was calling you. 305 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,440 There's pictures of Alex with a ball. 306 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,320 Oh, got me! 307 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,520 APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER 308 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,680 Two very different energies there, 309 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,800 and I have to say that normally when we do a series, it, 310 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:40,880 it takes a few episodes 311 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:46,600 for the tired middle-aged contestant to make themselves known. 312 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,240 So I'd like to thank Alan 313 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:56,960 for plodding around the house before stopping for a snack. 314 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,000 Very different energy from Guz. 315 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,160 It seemed to me that you wanted to, uh, murder Alex. 316 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,480 Yeah, I asked somebody as well, 317 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,280 "Have you got any heavier balls than this?" 318 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,200 I really wanted to... You did wanna hurt him. 319 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:12,720 ..some substantial damage, yeah. 320 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,440 This is good, my boy. Thank you, thank you. 321 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,160 OK, so who did better, 322 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:21,200 the, uh, psychopath who was in pursuit of you, or my lovely uncle? 323 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,800 Well, bearing in mind we thought Victoria's time was slow, 324 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,320 Alan was three minutes slower than Victoria. Ten minutes 22. 325 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,640 But Guz was also five seconds slower than Victoria, so, uh, 326 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:31,680 seven minutes 29. 327 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:35,080 Uh, how am I suddenly the benchmark for slowness? 328 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,080 What we found is, I move quite fast. That's what we've established. 329 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,320 Nice. Who's left? It's time for the Morgana show. 330 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,040 Ready? Ready. Time starts now. 331 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,000 Ball! Balls. 332 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,600 Does anyone know, uh, are there any balls anywhere? 333 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,320 Well, I mean, I've got to find a ball. 334 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:55,600 Oh, I know where a ball is. 335 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,000 I've just seen him, the little... but I don't have a ball! 336 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,920 Aah! 337 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,560 Oh! 338 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,200 Oh! 339 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,640 APPLAUSE 340 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:50,040 Now, now we're talking. 341 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,680 Now we've got some spirit. Bit of verve. 342 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,640 Got quite a ducky run, though, haven't I, which I wasn't aware of. 343 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,600 A slightly ducky run. I thought you looked like a primed athlete. 344 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:01,160 Victoria, under her breath, during it said, "So athletic". 345 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:05,480 Yes, I thought it was great. I love sitting next to Victoria. 346 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,680 I barely give them out. 347 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,320 I think there's been a handful of occasions across 11 series. 348 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,960 I'm going to give Morgana a bonus point for her attempt. Wow. 349 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,560 Before we even give her a score. 350 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,880 Why are you giving, uh, Morgana a bonus point? 351 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,480 You would think it was because you set a trap for Alex, 352 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,040 which I really enjoyed and thought, 353 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,520 "I'm gonna give her an extra point for that, it's so clever." 354 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:27,720 But it's not, it's cos you called Alex a little... Ah. 355 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,160 Amazing, so a bonus point. Yeah. 356 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,160 Yes, you are setting quite a precedent there 357 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,800 for the future. Yeah. Don't care. 358 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,480 And I've probably said quite a few in the show, actually. 359 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,600 Yeah, well, let's watch those points rack up. 360 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,720 No, listen, I can't fault it. It was a spirited attempt. 361 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:43,960 Was it a good time, though? 362 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,960 It was five times faster than Uncle Alan, two minutes and four seconds. 363 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,040 Oh, Uncle Alan. 364 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,440 Impressive... Impressive. 365 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,640 So tell me some stuff. 366 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,760 Yes, well, Alan only gets one point. 367 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,800 Then it was Guz, then Victoria, 368 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:02,400 then Desiree. Morgana, I mean, this is unprecedented, gets six points. 369 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,120 I don't have a six function on this, but five plus one. 370 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,880 So Morgana wins the task. 371 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,960 Go on, then, let's have a scoreboard. 372 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,040 OK, well, Guz and Alan are at the bottom 373 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,960 and Desiree's at the top with nine points. 374 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,840 Well done, Desiree, well done. 375 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,120 What's next? 376 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,480 It's a creeping task for our creepy cast. 377 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,360 Hello. Welcome, Alan. 378 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:47,840 This is a creeper. Please could you lie down on it? 379 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,000 Now? Yes. 380 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,960 Oh, I don't feel like I've got full range of movement in this outfit. 381 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,480 No. Belly, you want me to go belly first? No. Back first? 382 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,440 Yes, please. Oh. All right. It's called a car creeper. 383 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:03,440 Is this how you get underneath cars to fix them? Yes, it is. 384 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,320 Little head that rests on the little black pillow. Comfortable? 385 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:10,800 I mean, I've been more comfortable. Here it comes. 386 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:16,640 "Paint the most flattering picture of the Taskmaster in action." 387 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,160 "On the canvas in the lab." 388 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,200 SHE LAUGHS 389 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,680 OK! 390 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,720 "The canvas will either be six inches or six feet above you." 391 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:32,880 "You must lie flat on your back on the creeper at all times. 392 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,080 "You have ten minutes." 393 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,960 "Your time starts now and you must tell Alex 394 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,200 "if you want the canvas to be six inches... 395 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:44,080 "Or six feet above you within the next ten seconds." Hmm. 396 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:48,600 I think I want it six, uh, dammit. Uh... 397 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:53,200 But if it's six feet, uh, how would I reach it? 398 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,280 Good question. With a very long paintbrush? 399 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,520 Six inches! Six inches. 400 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,880 I think, uh, I think I'll go six feet. 401 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:04,520 Six feet? Yeah. Up we go. All right, then, Alan. 402 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,800 Six inches. I'll go six feet. 403 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:08,880 Good luck. Thank you. 404 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,920 You must stay lying down, though. Oh. 405 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,720 Hmm, right. Yes, yes. Good. 406 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,280 Now, I'm not gonna make a feature of this throughout the series 407 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,960 because it would become very tiresome, 408 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,040 but I will point out that everybody agonised 409 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,760 over the height of the canvas above their heads apart from Alan, who, 410 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,720 when he said, "I think I'll go six feet", 411 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,400 may as well have said, "What does it matter? I'll be dead soon." 412 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,160 I found Guz Khan absolutely adorable 413 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,600 for one beat during that introduction. 414 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:42,000 He became a ten-year-old boy and I wanted to hold him. 415 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,200 Yes, I can... I think I've got the beat here. Here it is. 416 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,680 Back first. Yes, please. Oh. 417 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,760 Yes! Cute little thing. 418 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,440 Right, we're going to leave this task hanging 419 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,000 like the very worst smell 420 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,400 because it's time for us to go to the adverts, 421 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:04,040 or as Alex calls them, the tiny films. 422 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 423 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,840 Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster. 424 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:19,880 Before the break, 425 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,640 the cast were manoeuvring themselves about on a car creeper. 426 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,200 We've seen the decisions they made. 427 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,520 There's the six-footers, Alan and Victoria, 428 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,960 and the six-inchers, Morgana, Desiree, and Guz. 429 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,360 Here's how all of them got on. 430 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:32,680 SHE LAUGHS 431 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,880 I don't really know where the lab is. 432 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,360 Where am I going? 433 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,280 DESIREE: Oh, er... 434 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:42,560 OK. 435 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:43,880 GUZ: Take these with me. 436 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,000 ALAN: This is the most bizarre and unnerving experience. 437 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,920 Am in the lab yet? 438 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,360 Whoa. 439 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:53,400 OK, sorry. 440 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,000 Oh, I feel like I'm in an MRI. 441 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,000 What, this is way closer. 442 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,040 This is six inches? 443 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,200 Guys always think this is six inches. This is five. 444 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:05,040 I'll tell you what, six feet is further than I thought it would be. 445 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,440 What can I do it with? 446 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,720 I've provided with you with some paints, and... 447 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,520 Wh-Where? Have I gone past them? 448 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:11,920 Is this a joke? 449 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,840 Oh, BLEEP. 450 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,680 This is kind of the position I like to be in, brother, when I'm at work, 451 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,040 you know what I mean? 452 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,520 This is not art. 453 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,800 This is a nightmare. 454 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,120 Where? Oh, I see. 455 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:27,840 Honestly...oh, my God! 456 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,840 Oh, look at all this BLEEP! OK. 457 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,640 MORGANA: Ah! Oh, lovely OK. 458 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,720 Have you got any brushes on poles? 459 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,240 Paintbrushes, where were they? 460 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:42,920 Yeah, I feel like this is the first task, bro, where, er... 461 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,320 ..I really feel zen-like, you know? 462 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:49,840 What you've done is reduce the ability for me to cause chaos, 463 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,000 do you know what I mean? 464 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,800 VICTORIA: What are these? Big pencils? 465 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,440 It's just a stick! 466 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,520 Oh... 467 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,520 I'm exhausted. 468 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,160 Haven't seen any brushes? 469 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,680 Guys, is this a wind... 470 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,120 Oh, little BLEEP! 471 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,600 GUZ: I genuinely wouldn't mind if you extended this task 472 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,080 to three-and-a-half hours. 473 00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:17,000 DESIREE: Let's get some features on this blob. 474 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,600 I think this is just appalling, the way this has been organised, 475 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,040 to be honest with you. 476 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,440 I'm just going to concentrate on eyebrows. 477 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,680 It's a gold throne, isn't it, that he sits on? 478 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,800 Oh, I've got no BLEEP gold. 479 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,440 You've got six-and-a-half minutes. 480 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,000 Oh, no, no, no, no, no! 481 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,200 There wasn't a time thing on the actual thing. 482 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,560 There was. 483 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,120 I wish I'd done the six inches. HE LAUGHS 484 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,640 Anyone can paint from six feet. 485 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,600 Oh, this is too long. 486 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,680 This is not how painting should be done. 487 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,600 I think I've strained every muscle in my body. 488 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,720 GUZ: Don't have to rush. Still got some time. 489 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,560 If there's some kind of bowel movements from me, 490 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,320 it's a natural part of life, innit? 491 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,280 20 seconds, Alan. Oh, come on! 492 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,240 20 seconds to give a man a soul? 493 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,680 Do you what I think is the problem? 494 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,600 It's the paint brush. 495 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,720 This is not uplifting for people! 496 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:10,640 SHE LAUGHS This is awful. 497 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,200 WHISTLE BLOWS 498 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,360 APPLAUSE 499 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,960 Guz, did you expect, for the first time in your life, 500 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,120 to find inner peace whilst trapped under a canvas? 501 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,400 Listen, absolutely not. 502 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,560 You learn something new about yourself every day. 503 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,560 But it was a very nice break 504 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,200 from running around like a BLEEP all day. 505 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,720 I just want to say, though, I was covered in paint. 506 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,160 And I had to go two-and-a-half hours back to Cov, 507 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,400 and the brother that was driving me back said, 508 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,280 IN ACCENT: "I don't want you have any paint on my car, so sit." 509 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:40,320 LAUGHTER 510 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,800 So, the whole zen-like thing didn't last that long? No. 511 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,600 It was well, sort of, Sistine Chapel vibes, weren't it? 512 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,560 I just imagine, you know, like... Yeah, it's very Michelangelo. Yeah. 513 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:52,880 Unlike Desiree who, er, shouted, "Whoa! Bleep!" 514 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,840 LAUGHTER 515 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,440 That right. When she got to her canvas. 516 00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,360 And there's a feeling to you, Morgana - I feel, watching you, 517 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,960 that at any minute, you could just smash everything up and run away. 518 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,720 But it was very contained. 519 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,040 I was composed. 520 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,880 I don't think that Victoria knew what show she was signing up to. 521 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,880 ALL LAUGH 522 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,480 Alan, you'll be pleased to know 523 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:19,600 you've made it into the Taskmaster heritage book of quotes with, 524 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,640 "Oh, come on, 20 seconds to give a man a soul." 525 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,760 LAUGHTER 526 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,880 And I can't wait to see my soul. 527 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,800 Well, I thought it'd be nice to see the six-inchers first, 528 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,040 so we can compare and contrast. Five. Five! 529 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,400 A gentleman's six. 530 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,120 LAUGHTER 531 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,920 Well, Desiree tried to get some "faces on the blob", 532 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,400 that was her quote. And this is what she did. Yeah. 533 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,240 I love that. That looks really good. 534 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,400 Very expressive! There's a lot of action in that. 535 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,640 You were also emerging from the sea. 536 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,880 Is it a reflection of him at the top? 537 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,960 There was a, sort of, a myth of Narcissus thing going on, 538 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,480 with your reflection rippling in the water that you had just destroyed 539 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,680 because you were in action. Ooh! Right. 540 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,400 Just really BLEEP that one. Did that come out all right? Yeah. 541 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,320 Great. We've got Guz next. 542 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:04,960 Yes, Guz. He did that. 543 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,920 LAUGHTER 544 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,400 I think it's very excellent. 545 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,080 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 546 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:12,480 What about the hand prints? 547 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,880 Kind of like a signat... what do you call it? A signature. 548 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,080 A signature, yeah. Yeah. 549 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,680 He's got your bags, hasn't he, Greg, under the eyes? 550 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:20,080 Yeah, yeah. I noticed them. 551 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,520 I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Right. 552 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,960 The last six-incher is Morgana. Here we go. All right. 553 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,640 Oh, that looks like a majestic deer. 554 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,880 You're playing football, by the way. Oh, am I? 555 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,520 Yeah, that's a ball and a net on the left there. 556 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:34,880 You've just scored a goal. 557 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,480 But you're still a little bit pissed off, so hence the eyebrows. 558 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,680 Oh, they're eyebrows. Couple of quotes from Morgana. 559 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,120 "He's basically all eyebrows." 560 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,600 "He's got a pointy nose." "He's nostrilly and angry." 561 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,840 He's "basically all eyebrows"? Basically. 562 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,200 Thanks, Alex, thanks. 563 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,480 Who's next? Well, Alan said you've got a dark soul, 564 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,880 you're red in the face, and you're piggy-eyed... 565 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,720 LAUGHTER ..and he did this picture. 566 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,360 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 567 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:57,880 Ooh! I like it. 568 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,480 Up to the last second, you didn't have any eyes at all, 569 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,960 and then, it really looked terrifying. Yeah. 570 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,320 But I really have given you a soul there and now, 571 00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:07,000 who wouldn't want that man? 572 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,840 He was making the "rage of Taskmaster". That was his title. 573 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,720 Well, the rage of Taskmaster comes through. I like the face. 574 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:13,920 OK, well, there's one left. 575 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,880 It's sort of the minimal approach, this is Victoria's painting. 576 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,200 Oh, here we go. 577 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,800 LAUGHTER 578 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,880 Oh, come on, Victoria. 579 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,320 You've got to dig deep. We're here for ten weeks. 580 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:28,360 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 581 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:32,320 I don't know if my self-esteem is going to survive this series. 582 00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:36,000 I...Desiree did the myth of Narcissus. 583 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,520 LAUGHTER 584 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,960 I couldn't do a face! 585 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,440 That would be more like me if you'd just fallen into it. 586 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,720 OK well, here are all five for you, Greg. 587 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,240 Unfortunately... Yeah? ..even though I'm worried about her, 588 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,080 I'm going to give Victoria one point. 589 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,680 One point, well done, Victoria. I know. I'm grateful for that. 590 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,920 I'm going to give Morgana two points, and it's basically 591 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:02,720 because Desiree really BLEEP her way to three points. 592 00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,160 Yes! 593 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,560 So, it's between Guz and Alan, then, for the five points. 594 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,240 Yeah, and that is tough, because... 595 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:13,240 ..Alan really did check in with my soul. Yeah. 596 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,200 But I guess Guz just knows me. 597 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:16,480 LAUGHTER 598 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,560 Five points to Guz Khan. Correct. 599 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,360 Congratulations, Guz! 600 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,240 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 601 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,960 I think we should have another task, you messy little boy. 602 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,480 I think we should, too, and this one involves me 603 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,520 running my very own shop. 604 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,120 Ooh! 605 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:47,840 "Pop the balloon." 606 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,080 What balloon? 607 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:54,600 Ah. 608 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,320 MORGANA: "You must stay behind the rope at all times." 609 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,680 This...ah, this rope here. 610 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:03,120 "You must not move the rope. 611 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:06,200 "You may buy the tools you need with time." 612 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,400 That's Shakespearian. 613 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,440 "You may buy the tools you need with time." 614 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,040 It is Shakespeare you're right. 615 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,920 "Fastest wins." 616 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:17,520 My time starts when Alex "has shown me his tool shop." 617 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,120 Awesome, OK. 618 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:20,560 Hello, Alan. Hello. 619 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,360 This is my tool shop. Nice. 620 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,600 I can offer you a slingshot and a bucket of stones for one minute. 621 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,560 OK. The pebbles cost you one minute, 30 per pebble. 622 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,880 SHE LAUGHS 623 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,720 You OK? Yes! OK. 624 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,200 I just... I'm getting the concept, yeah, OK. 625 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,960 Two minutes per fork, or the darts are two minutes, 30... 626 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,760 Two minutes, 30, of course. ..per dart. 627 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:44,840 The rubber ducks are free, Alan. 628 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,720 We've also got these nice portcullis scissors, 629 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,440 and that costs you eight minutes. 630 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:53,160 And, with them, you snip the string behind you and see what happens. 631 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,760 But that's the only time you're allowed to touch the string. 632 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,720 But this will take eight minutes off the time? Eight minutes, yes. 633 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:00,600 Then, brother, this is not sensible. 634 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:03,520 THEY LAUGH 635 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:04,840 Alex, yes. 636 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,960 I'm very excited to see your pop shop in action. 637 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,240 I really loved this one. 638 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,440 We're going to start with Mor-Guz-Khan-a. 639 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:13,560 Morgana and Guz. 640 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:14,960 Hello, sir, what would you like? 641 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,760 OK...can I have some darts, please? 642 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,600 I'm just going to have some darts, please. How many would you like? 643 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,040 Can I have two? Two darts. 644 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,160 So, that will cost you five minutes. 645 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,600 One dart is two minutes and 30 seconds? 646 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,040 Would you like one dart? 647 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:29,520 This is a rip-off, this shop! 648 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:34,040 That was... oh, it's gone in the concrete. 649 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,320 It's trashed concrete. Are we going to get it repaired? 650 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,920 Yeah, I'll have that repaired. 651 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,680 Can I try one more dart? Yes. 652 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,160 Oh! 653 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:46,640 Oh, hello. I'll take the lot. 654 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:52,680 Oh, so close. 655 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,160 You know what I'm going to do? 656 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,920 I'm going to have another...dart. 657 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,600 Can you explain to me how the slingshot works? 658 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:07,600 If you're using the slingshot, we both have to wear goggles. 659 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,760 Can I touch one of those ducks? 660 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,320 The ducks are free. The ducks are free? 661 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,120 What sort of shop is this? 662 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:17,440 SHE GIGGLES That's quite aggressive. 663 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:18,680 Welcome back. 664 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,280 AUDIENCE OOHS 665 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,480 That deserved to pop! 666 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,680 There is a imbalance in the poppability of the balloon. 667 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:36,880 You're good at that. 668 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:38,480 Can I have a refund? No. 669 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,440 That'll be seven minutes, 30, please. 670 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,240 I'll have a duck. Ducks are free. Oh, here's a duck. 671 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,200 SHE EXHALES 672 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,920 Ooh, missed by a bee's BLEEP! 673 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,520 Pardon? 674 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,880 Hm. You're already doubting me with that tone. 675 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:55,720 You don't even have to say a word. OK. 676 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,440 Feels like being at school again. 677 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:04,320 BLEEP! 678 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,040 Can I have the scissors, please? 679 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,400 That'll be eight minutes. 680 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,000 I've stopped the clock. 681 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,920 Brother, there's a word - I've never used it before in life. 682 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:28,280 It's called hindsight. 683 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,080 Why have you never used the word "hindsight" before? 684 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,280 Just not in my... 685 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,760 It's amazing that you're asking him to look back on that. 686 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,000 ALAN: Yeah, look back on that! 687 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,840 It's beautiful. Irony, mate. 688 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,280 Shall I tell you some times, Greg? Oh, here we go. 689 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,760 Guz, eight minutes without the time penalties. 690 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,840 It was a total of 36 minutes, 58. 691 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,160 You could've listened to the theme tune to the 692 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:53,240 Last of the Summer Wine 53 times. 693 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,360 Morgana, 84 Last of the Summer Wine theme tunes. Oh. 694 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,160 That's 56 minutes altogether, cos there were 13 darts, 695 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,720 four pebbles, scissors, and actual time, as well. 696 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,000 Lovely. Would you like to see Queen Victoria II all by herself? 697 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:07,960 Yes, please! Here she is. 698 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,800 Er, I'll have a dart, please. 699 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,640 OK, a dart will cost you two minutes, 30. 700 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,120 Thank you, madam. Thank you. 701 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,440 I'll have another dart, please. 702 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:26,320 Welcome back. Yeah, that'll cost you two minutes 30. 703 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:27,840 Oh! Hello. 704 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,400 How can I help you? I'll have a dart, please. A dart. 705 00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:34,960 You... SHE SHOUTS GIBBERISH 706 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,720 Hello, again. Go on, give me a duck. I just want to...just a duck. 707 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:38,880 The ducks are free. 708 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:40,400 I mean, this is... why would it do it? 709 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:41,680 but I can't even hit the thing. 710 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,560 Duck, duck, duck, I'll have three ducks, please. 711 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,320 'Course. Any particular ducks? I don't mind. A duck. 712 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,560 I'm using the ducks to practise aiming. 713 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,120 OK, I'll have a dart, please. Hello, there, a dart. 714 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,600 That'll cost you two minutes, 30. Lovely. 715 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:54,640 Oh! 716 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,640 I've already used more than eight minutes, haven't I? 717 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:00,960 Quite a lot more. I think the move might be to just take 718 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,400 the scissors in the first place. 719 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:03,800 Ah! OK. 720 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,240 Oh! 721 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 722 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,120 So, I've stopped the clock. That's so satisfying! 723 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,440 That was so worth it! 724 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,360 I don't care if it'd taken three days, that was so worth it. 725 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,840 Nh! Splah! Tsh! 726 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:23,880 Ah! 727 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,360 APPLAUSE 728 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,000 That was really good. That was proper. 729 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,640 That was very impressive. Thank you. Lovely. Now we're cooking. 730 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,680 You enjoyed that one, right? I did enjoy it. 731 00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:35,120 You didn't bank on Victoria using ducks to practise her aim, did you? 732 00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,360 I did not. It was a nine-dart finish. 733 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,560 25 minutes, 30 was her total time. 734 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,200 Which puts Victoria in the lead. By miles! 735 00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:43,560 GREG WHISTLES By miles. 736 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,000 Oh, well, that's nice. 737 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,920 OK, you want adverts? You've got them. Don't go anywhere. 738 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,360 Even if you need the toilet. I want to see commitment. 739 00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,720 It'll come out with hot water and elbow grease. 740 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:53,920 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 741 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 742 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,520 Hello, welcome back to the final part of the show. 743 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,880 Weren't people trying to pop a balloon before the break, Alex? 744 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,760 Yes, my side project is a pop-up pop shop. 745 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,920 I sell all sorts of things which might be useful 746 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:15,240 for popping balloons. 747 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,400 And the currency I deal in is time. 748 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,240 Two of our five resorted to the portcullis releasing scissors. 749 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:21,840 One succeeded with a dart. 750 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:25,440 Last up, it's Alan D and Dessy B! 751 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:26,840 Yeah. 752 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:28,280 Oh, I'm going to, I... 753 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,000 I'm not confident I can hit that with a dart first time. 754 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:32,880 There is a slingshot. 755 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:34,920 I would love to purchase one. 756 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,880 Right. That'll cost you one minute. 757 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,160 I'm quite tempted by the scissors, and that'll make it drop on it. 758 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,040 Yeah, I think that's the one I want to do. 759 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,520 You'd like some scissors? Yeah. 760 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:46,560 OK, this'll cost you eight minutes. OK, thanks. There we go. 761 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:49,480 Down... 762 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:53,080 Oh, eat it. 763 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:54,680 OK, you know what? 764 00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:57,840 Erm..I'm going to go ahead and buy some scissors. 765 00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:59,720 Oh, you're going to buy the scissors. 766 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,960 SHE GROANS 767 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,200 Oh, OK, you know what? Erm... 768 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,920 You know what? I think I'm going to come for some ducks. 769 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,280 Oh, right. 770 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,480 Hi, there. How can I help you? 771 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,560 I would like to purchase those three darts. 772 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,480 Three darts? Yeah. 773 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,000 No. 774 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,240 God, no! 775 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:24,720 Ding dong, hi. 776 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,160 Let's go ahead and buy three forks. 777 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,320 Why not? Six minutes. 778 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:29,440 SHE LAUGHS 779 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:32,560 No! Hello, there. 780 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,680 I think I'd like to get another slingshot. 781 00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:35,920 Another slingshot, OK. 782 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,040 What is wrong with your rocks?! 783 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,040 You keep hitting it with the stones. 784 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,480 Now this is getting ridiculous. Yeah. 785 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:47,880 Ding dong! Oh, hello, madam. 786 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,680 I would love to get another set of darts. 787 00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:52,320 No. Maybe. 788 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,200 Definitely not. 789 00:36:54,240 --> 00:36:55,520 Hi, there. Ding dong. 790 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:57,120 One fork and six ducks. 791 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,040 Argh! 792 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:05,600 Ding dong. I think I would love to get some forks. 793 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,480 Well, I've got a bucket of forks here. 794 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:08,640 How much is the bucket? 795 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:09,880 That'll cost you an hour. 796 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,360 It's an hour well spent. OK. Sir, you've got yourself a deal. 797 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,520 Enjoy your forks. Thank you so much. 798 00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:21,120 Ooh. Ooh! 799 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,960 I don't even know how to throw forks! 800 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:25,160 Yeah! 801 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:27,800 SLOWED-DOWN: Yeah! 802 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:34,960 SHE SCREAMS 803 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:42,960 Hello, madam. 804 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,320 DEFLATED: Ding dong, sir. 805 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:45,760 How can I help you? 806 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:47,480 You know what? Can I get some scissors? 807 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,360 Some scissors. Yes, we've got one pair left. 808 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:50,640 They cost eight minutes. 809 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,360 In your own time, Alan. OK. 810 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:54,720 Righto. 811 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,480 I've stopped the clock. That was very enjoyable. 812 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,600 LAUGHTER 813 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,920 Well, that would've been great if I could've aimed the scissors. 814 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,400 Are you kidding me?! 815 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,760 APPLAUSE What was that?! 816 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,360 I've stopped the clock. 817 00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,560 Does the clock still have time inside of it? 818 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,640 It's nearly run out. Thank you, Desiree. 819 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,000 Thank you. 820 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,560 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 821 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,240 Wow. Come on. 822 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,000 DESIREE LAUGHS 823 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,720 Right, well, before we get to the main course, 824 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,480 let's deal with the starter, er... 825 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:38,880 What happened there, Alan? 826 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,720 Have a snack you wanted to go and eat? 827 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,040 There's no way I'm going to hit that balloon from here. 828 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,280 That's what I thought. Very efficient. Eight minutes. 829 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,960 A minute thinking, so a minute plus eight - nine minutes for Alan. 830 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,160 Good. So, he is the winner of the task, five points. 831 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,240 Well done, Alan. Now... 832 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,840 OK, look. For the record, when I got out there, 833 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:59,760 my head went, "Get the scissors, it's worth the time." 834 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,320 But I was like, "That is not the game, that is not the show." 835 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:05,680 That's boring, and I was like... That's what I thought. 836 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:08,280 Like Alan did? Yeah! If I just win it, that's boring. 837 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:09,520 LAUGHTER 838 00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:11,760 Well, whatever that attempt was, it wasn't boring. 839 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:15,600 And it looked like we'd set up that portcullis not to work, 840 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,360 but it was genuine, wasn't it? 841 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,520 The portcullis was meant to work, but it had lost... 842 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,400 The will to live. LAUGHTER 843 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,920 That's a fair point! And listen, I'm going to call it - 844 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,240 in 12 series, that's the worst attempt we've ever seen at any task. 845 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,320 Thank you! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 846 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,880 The time? It's an entire series of Last of the Summer Wine, 847 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,800 two hours, 57 minutes. Wow. 848 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,360 So, Desiree gets just the one point. 849 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:43,480 Morgana, 2, Guz, 3, Victoria, 4, and Alan Davies, 5 points! 850 00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:46,320 There you go. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 851 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:49,440 It's not always about being entertaining, is it? 852 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,920 LAUGHTER 853 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:53,520 Quick look at the scores, then? 854 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,000 Yes, it's a close one. 855 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,240 All five of them could win with one task to go, 856 00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,400 but Alan is in the lead at the moment with 14 points! 857 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,600 Wow. APPLAUSE 858 00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:02,640 Here we go. 859 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,600 All right, then everyone, please make your way to the stage 860 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:07,400 for the final task of the show! 861 00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:14,800 Hello. Hello, Greg. Hello, everyone. 862 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:18,320 Who will you be choosing to read out the task, young fellow my lad? 863 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:19,680 Victoria. 864 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:25,520 "Write down a cool hobby, a fun animal, and a famous person. 865 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:26,760 "You have 30 seconds." 866 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,440 And those 30 seconds start... 867 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:29,840 WHISTLE BLOWS 868 00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,920 I'll repeat them, for anyone struggling. 869 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,880 It's a cool hobby. Ooh. 870 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,720 It's a fun animal. Lovely. 871 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,800 And it's a famous person. 872 00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:40,720 WHISTLE BLOWS Thanks, guys. 873 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,960 How you getting on with the picking up? Not great. 874 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,800 I hurt my back a little bit. Ohh. 875 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:47,280 My God. 876 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:48,840 THEY LAUGH 877 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,120 Greg, I've got news. 878 00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:51,600 There's a second part to the task. 879 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,800 Oh, what, you trickster! Oh. 880 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:58,120 "Strike a pose to represent first, your cool hobby, 881 00:40:58,160 --> 00:40:59,760 "then your fun animal, 882 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:01,320 "then your famous person. 883 00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:03,400 "You will have ten seconds to strike a pose. 884 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,600 "and must then hold the pose until the end of the round. 885 00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:10,680 "The Taskmaster will attempt to guess what each pose represents. 886 00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:14,480 "You may not make a noise or movement when posed." 887 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:19,240 And, just so you know, I am notoriously bad at these games. 888 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,720 Please strike a pose to represent your cool hobby. 889 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:24,000 BLOWS WHISTLE 890 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:25,520 GUZ: God. 891 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,280 Oh, my God. BLOWS WHISTLE 892 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,080 OK, what do you think Alan's doing? 893 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:33,640 I think Alan is...making...a model. 894 00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:34,880 I can't give you that. 895 00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:36,440 He's doing surf-gami. 896 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:37,960 It's surfing with origami! 897 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:39,240 Surf-gami. OK. 898 00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:40,720 No points for Alan so far. 899 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:42,400 What do you think Desiree is doing? 900 00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:46,360 I think Desiree is in a cool bowling alley. 901 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,440 Yes! 902 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,400 MORGANA: Yeah, baby! Correct. 903 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:50,480 VICTORIA: Yay. 904 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:54,360 What cool hobby is Guz Khan pretending to do? Oh... 905 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,560 I was going to say trampolining, and that's a mid-air trampolining pose. 906 00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:58,680 Ooh. It's not right. 907 00:41:58,720 --> 00:41:59,800 It's a bobsleigh ting. 908 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,280 Oh, 'course it's a bobsleigh ting. 909 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,120 OK, it's Morgana's turn now. 910 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,360 She is currently representing a cool hobby. 911 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:07,600 Table tennis? Correct! 912 00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,160 Nice. Wow. 913 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,360 Finally, Victoria Coren-Mitchell. 914 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,480 OK, I think she's on the wall of death on a motorbike. 915 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,760 No, I don't. LAUGHTER 916 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:17,320 She's kayaking. 917 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,840 She's doing ice sculpture, Greg. 918 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,920 Oh, of course it was ice sculpture! It's a cool joke. "Cool." 919 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,160 Cool. It was a literal cool thing. 920 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:28,760 OK. Please pose as your fun animal. 921 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,440 You have ten seconds. Animal! 922 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:31,800 Starting... 923 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:33,240 WHISTLE BLOWS 924 00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:38,320 GREG LAUGHS 925 00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:39,360 WHISTLE BLOWS 926 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:41,880 Alan is one funky orangutan. 927 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:43,240 Well, unfortunately not. 928 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:44,640 He's gone for a zebr-onkey. 929 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,960 Oh! A zebr-onkey is a cross between a monkey and zebra, or a donkey? 930 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:52,240 It's half zebra, half monkey. OK, we move on to Desiree Burch. 931 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,800 It just might be a really fun rabbit. 932 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:57,480 Ooh! It's the rabbit's cousin, the hamster. 933 00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:00,840 That famous hamster pose. DESIREE LAUGHS 934 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,400 Now, then. Guz has used his clothing. 935 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:04,760 What animal is that? 936 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,240 I think that is a duck-billed platypus. 937 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,160 It's an aardvark. Ohh. 938 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:13,800 The beak of the aardvark quacking away there. 939 00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:16,280 What animal, is she? She's a fun...puppy? 940 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,360 But I'd like to know what breed you think she is? 941 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,200 Oh, she's a fun little Labrador. 942 00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:22,000 Oh! She's a sausage puppy. 943 00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,640 Oh, yeah... Look how long I am! Yeah, you're long, you are long. 944 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,960 Is it half a point for puppy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 945 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,600 So, what do you think Victoria Coren-Mitchell is representing? 946 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,120 It's gotta be a lovely, fun cat. It's more fun than a cat. 947 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:33,560 It's an otter. 948 00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,480 Oh, they are fun, as well. 949 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,960 So fun! Ohh... 950 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,520 You've got ten seconds to pose as your famous person. OK. 951 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,360 WHISTLE BLOWS 952 00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,200 LAUGHTER 953 00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:46,080 WHISTLE BLOWS OK, so they've all posed. 954 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,440 Good luck with this, Greg. 955 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,080 Well, he's an artist of some kind. 956 00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,160 Which one? He's Salvador Dali. 957 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:54,240 He's Tony Hart, and... Of course he's Tony Hart! 958 00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,800 All right, move on to Desiree Burch. 959 00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:59,160 It's a film star. 960 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,160 Which film star? It's Macaulay Culkin. 961 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:06,680 Ooh, it's Will Smith! Oh! So close! 962 00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:08,320 Now, then, Guz Khan. 963 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,920 My initial feeling is it's Huw Edwards, the news presenter, 964 00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,240 but...give me a minute. 965 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,480 LAUGHTER It's a big JC, isn't it? 966 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,720 It is a big JC. It's Jesus Christ himself. Oh, wow. 967 00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,800 It is, without question, Madonna. 968 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:24,640 Morgana is a different pop star. 969 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,040 She's Cheryl Cole. 970 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:29,520 I was thinking Vogue. No, for BLEEP sake. 971 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,720 LAUGHTER It is Cheryl Cole! I know. 972 00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:34,840 And finally, Victoria. 973 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,440 What can it be, with two hands out like that, 974 00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:42,080 and no tangible expression on her face? 975 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:44,800 Well, I mean, that's pretty accurate. 976 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,720 It's... Neville Chamberlain. 977 00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,280 Ooh. Actually, not that far off. 978 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:50,560 It's John Craven. 979 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,560 Hey! Well done, everyone. 980 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:57,120 Come back down here, and we'll add all that to the final scores! 981 00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:00,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUS 982 00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,840 Oh, here we are. Ooh. 983 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:04,160 That was exciting, weren't it? 984 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,880 It was lovely to have John Craven and Jesus on the show. 985 00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:11,640 And you did some good guessing, you got one of Desiree's right, 986 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,440 you got one of Guz's right. I did. 987 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:16,240 But one-and-a-half of Morgana's. DESIREE: Hey. 988 00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,000 So, she takes the full five points. 989 00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,120 Well done, Morgana. Well done, Morgana. 990 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:21,480 How does that work? 991 00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:25,080 There's also one point each to Victoria and Alan for coming last, 992 00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,560 and three points each for Guz and Desiree. 993 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:28,920 There you go. 994 00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,160 Something for nothing. Well done. DESIREE LAUGHS 995 00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,000 Which means, the final scoreboard, 996 00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,480 it's been a tight opening episode, Greg. I'm very excited. 997 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,160 I genuinely don't know who's won. 998 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,200 The winner, with 17 points... 999 00:45:39,240 --> 00:45:41,600 ..is Morgana Robinson! There it is! 1000 00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,760 CHEERNG AND APPLAUSE Morgana Robinson wins. 1001 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:48,040 Please go and have a celebratory sit on your prizes! Whoo! 1002 00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:49,520 Thank you. 1003 00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:52,560 So, what have we learnt today? 1004 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:55,600 Well, we've learnt that life is a continuous struggle, 1005 00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,200 but if you apply yourself, you can learn new skills, 1006 00:45:58,240 --> 00:46:01,400 make new friends and do great things. 1007 00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:06,400 We've also learned you should never borrow Alan Davies' toothbrush. 1008 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:09,440 See you for the second instalment but for now, our first winner 1009 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,440 is Morgana Robinson! 1010 00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:39,360 Subtitles by Red Bee Media