1 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:05,160 Boo! 2 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:12,680 Yeow! 3 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,480 I just need to read that again. 4 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,520 SHE LAUGHS 5 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,120 APPLAUSE 6 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,520 Hello, welcome to Taskmaster. 7 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,920 I'm Greg Davies and I am the wizard of Task Towers. 8 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,280 With a wave of my wand, five intelligent, successful people 9 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:42,680 have parked their dignity and 10 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,240 bravely exposed themselves to judgment. 11 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,360 One of them even trumped a bit of his bottom out 12 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,560 trying to please me, for goodness' sake. 13 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:54,000 How far will our magical five be prepared to go today? 14 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,440 Let's meet them and find out. 15 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,400 They are Charlotte Ritchie, 16 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,280 Jamali Maddix, Lee Mack, 17 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,600 Mike Wozniak, and Sarah Kendall. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 18 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:08,360 And next to me, a man who once drunkenly confessed 19 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:12,080 that he hasn't brought car tax or insurance since the '90s 20 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,360 because he thinks it's an example of big government, 21 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,520 it's little Alex Horne. 22 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,560 APPLAUSE 23 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:23,000 Hi, Greg. Hello. 24 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,760 I've had a birthday. Oh, God. 25 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,600 My mother and father gave me £10. 26 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,520 All right, stop. £10 each. 27 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:33,080 I have, um... I've budgeted on this occasion 28 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,960 for Alex wittering away to total silence 29 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,120 and I've decided that we're going to start the show slightly differently. 30 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,480 Alex is going to do some extreme improvisation for you. Is he? 31 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:46,600 Ooh! Yeah. So, Mike, if you'd like to give me a song style. 32 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,080 Funk. Charlotte, perhaps you'd like to give me a dance style. 33 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,200 Disco. 34 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,920 Disco and funk, meh, it's a bit kind on him. 35 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,160 Oh, sorry, I meant disco break. 36 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,040 Disco break. What is disco break? 37 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,720 You know. You know. You know. It's in your bones. 38 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,120 And finally, Sarah, I need, an event from history. 39 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,400 The division of North and South Korea. 40 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,440 LAUGHTER 41 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,280 And so, ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment, 42 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:16,800 Alex will represent the division of North and South Korea in, um... 43 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,480 ..in a disco break dance-style 44 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,160 singing a funk song. 45 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:26,240 ♪ In 1953, there was a terrible situation 46 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,720 ♪ Ow! # Uh... 47 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,680 ♪ When everyone got very sad 48 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,360 ♪ Because they divided the nation. ♪ 49 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,400 CHEERS 50 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,840 Yay! 51 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,880 APPLAUSE 52 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,800 That was rubbish and... Still better. 53 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,280 ..it was much better than what you had to say. 54 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,680 On with the prize task. 55 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:47,920 Yes, on we pop, 56 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,240 and this week the category is the most satisfying wobbly thing. 57 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,640 Greg will judge whose thing is the most satisfyingly wobbly one 58 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,600 and give that person five points. 59 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,840 At the end of the episode, one lucky person will take home 60 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,560 all five wobbly things and be totally satisfied. 61 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,440 I'll tell you now, anyone who's brought a jelly, no points. 62 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,040 OK, Jamali, what's your satisfying wobbly thing? 63 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,840 Do you know what, this is... I had a whole speech lined up 64 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:15,000 cos I feel like whenever I put in minimal effort, you go, 65 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,960 "You know what, Jamali, you actually tried, here's four points," right? 66 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,440 So, right, then when you just said that, I was like, 67 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,440 "Oh, right, so it's gone, then." I've got... 68 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,360 I genuinely didn't know you'd brought a jelly in. 69 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:26,720 No, but it's not just jelly, innit? 70 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,960 Cos I knew you would just go tut-tut-tut. Yeah. 71 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,120 So what I did is I still brought in jelly, 72 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,920 but inside the jelly is a complete Rubik's cube. 73 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,400 Here we go. Ah. 74 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,320 There you go. It's pretty satisfying. 75 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:38,640 Well, how's it satisfying? 76 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,840 Because Rubik's cubes are hard 77 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:44,520 and to see a complete Rubik's cube kind of gives me a bit of joy. 78 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,600 It's aesthetically pleasing. I'll take three points. 79 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,400 Yeah? Feels like a three-er, does it? 80 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:51,480 I'm thinking three. Well, there might be people who've done worse. 81 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,040 If anyone's just brought a jelly in, I'm going to attack them. 82 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,000 LAUGHTER Right. 83 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,320 Who's next? Lee, you like a wobble, what have you brought in? 84 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:02,120 My daughter. She's eight and she loves you guys, you know that, 85 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,160 and every night she puts her head on my belly. 86 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,720 She nuzzles up and she says, 87 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,080 "Can I just say, Daddy, your belly's so wobbly and lovely," 88 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,800 and I said, "Funny enough, I have to take a wobbly thing 89 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,560 "in to Taskmaster." 90 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,880 And she said, "Take your belly in." 91 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,040 I said, "I can't take my belly in to Taskmaster." 92 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,960 She said, "Why don't you make it out of jelly?" And... 93 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,200 LAUGHTER 94 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,000 And so I have, and there it is. 95 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,240 It's a jelly belly. 96 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:32,160 Why does your jelly of your belly have abs? 97 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,920 Yeah, it is a fair point that that... 98 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,960 There's absolutely no way that that's your belly. 99 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,520 I'm not gonna lie, I didn't make a cast because I didn't have time. 100 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,000 I shaped it with my hands and, in a way, 101 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,800 I do see myself not too dissimilar to that. 102 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,520 So, so far, after me slagging anyone who brought in jelly, 103 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,320 we've had two jellies. Next. 104 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,760 Charlotte. 105 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,800 Hm. LAUGHTER 106 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:53,440 Gulp! 107 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,400 So, it's a bit personal this but, obviously, this show 108 00:04:56,440 --> 00:05:00,120 has taken its toll on my ego, my self-esteem. 109 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,560 Yeah, I can imagine. Um, yeah, and... 110 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,800 Sorry, Charlotte, you've brought a jelly in, haven't you? 111 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,880 Yeah, inside is a letter from my therapist 112 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,880 commenting on my wobbly sense of self-esteem. 113 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,400 Right. Oh. Here it is, the letter from her therapist in a jelly. 114 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:12,840 Yeah. 115 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,240 I have to say, that is more like my belly than my belly. 116 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,640 It is. Isn't it? Oh, God. 117 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,680 This is so heart-breaking. 118 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,520 100% jelly so far, Greg. Hm. 119 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,560 100% jelly across the board. 120 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,800 Did you know they found jelly on the moon? Moon jelly. 121 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:29,640 They didn't find moon jelly, Alex. They did. 122 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,360 They said it's exactly the same as Earth jelly, but it's on the moon. 123 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,960 Probably the astronauts left it up there. So they didn't find jelly on the moon? 124 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,120 Later astronauts did. 125 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,320 Sorry, are you saying that someone found Neil Armstrong's jelly on the moon? 126 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,680 That's what's written here. 127 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,200 It's written there on a document that you typed? 128 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,840 Very much so. Very much so. LAUGHTER 129 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,760 Who's, um... Who's brought the next jelly in? Mike? 130 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,080 I've not gone for jelly. 131 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,040 Huh! Aw! Oh, well, congratulations, five points. 132 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,520 I've got an old-school classic. I've gone for a milk tooth. Tooth? 133 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,760 A milk tooth. Here is the milk tooth. 134 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,000 Which is surely the most satisfying wobbly thing of all. 135 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,480 You get a wobble, it's satisfying already. Yes. 136 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,480 If your six-years-old, it's the best chat fuel in the business. 137 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,920 It's chat fuel? Yeah, big time chat fuel time. 138 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,720 It's chap... Chat fuel. 139 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:13,320 Chap? Chat, chat, chat. Chat. 140 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,440 How you feel and what you talk about in the playground, 141 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,840 "Good old Martha's got a wobbly tooth, let's go, let's talk about it, let's have a wobble, 142 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:22,360 "let's talk about how we're going to get it out." Ain't that the truth. 143 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,680 I hated having loose teeth as a child. 144 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,040 I found it a disturbing sensation. 145 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,080 But was it satisfying when they came out? 146 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,480 I don't know. You don't know? 147 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,200 I don't know if I find it satisfying. Oh. Right. 148 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,360 Sarah, what wobbly object have you brought? 149 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:39,040 Um, I brought in a sausage of chicken meat. 150 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,240 A what? LAUGHTER 151 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,520 A sausage of chicken meat. A sausage of chicken meat? 152 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:44,640 A sausage of chicken meat. 153 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,840 It really is a sausage of chicken meat. Do you want to see it? 154 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,400 Yeah. Here is the sausage of chicken meat. 155 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,200 Did you buy it with a view to eat... 156 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,240 ..having a sausage of chicken meat in your home? 157 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,920 I bought it to wobble it. I was sitting in my lounge and I thought, 158 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,640 "Is it satisfyingly wobbly?" 159 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,920 And then I started really wanging it in the lounge room. 160 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,840 I'm like, "This is really..." like, to the point where I was surprised 161 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,280 by how wobbly it was and I wanged it so hard the end came off, 162 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,640 I had to gaffer it back on. LAUGHTER 163 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,760 What's your technique to get the wobble? 164 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,800 Uh, it's a lot of elbow work. OK. 165 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,600 I mean, I don't want to... I don't want to boast, 166 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,840 but I've got pretty good upper body strength at the moment. 167 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:19,960 Cool.LAUGHTER Are you going to mark the wobblers? 168 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,280 Here's your decision, it's the first time I've ever done it. 169 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,120 I'm giving everybody here three points. What, everyone? 170 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,600 Yeah. That's how I feel. 171 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,800 They're all as wobbly and as satisfying as each other. 172 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,080 So, they're either all good or they're all shit. It doesn't matter. 173 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,000 That was a waste of everyone's time. 174 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,240 In that case, everyone gets three points. Well done, everybody. Yay! 175 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,040 APPLAUSE 176 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,720 OK, on with the show. What's the first task proper? 177 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,560 Inflation, some wrapping, a little bit of munch-munch 178 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,120 and quite a lot of TikTok. 179 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,160 EERIE DISCORDANT MUSIC 180 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,360 KNOCK ON DOOR Come in. 181 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,120 Hello, Alex. Oh, hello, Mike. 182 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,160 Feeling all right? 183 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,760 Yeah, how are you? 184 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,720 Excited. You're excited? 185 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,680 Yeah. 186 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:10,920 Here we go. 187 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:17,120 Say the word "metronome" between every tick of this metronome. 188 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,640 You may not touch or stop the metronome. 189 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,840 Also, you must blow up and tie a balloon 190 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,640 so it's bigger than your head. 191 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,480 Neatly gift wrap the balloon. 192 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,480 And eat three whole poppadoms. 193 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,040 You have five minutes. 194 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,200 The person who accomplishes the most things 195 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,760 within the fewest missed metronomes wins. 196 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:40,280 Your time starts when the metronome starts. OK. 197 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,640 Also, you must blow up and tie a balloon 198 00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,080 so it's bigger than your head, neatly gift... 199 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,640 That's a bit unfair actually cos I have got a massive head. 200 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:50,360 It is big. So, you know, I bet someone like Sarah Kendall, 201 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,560 who's known in the industry as Pinhead, 202 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,320 you know, she'll just do that. 203 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,760 Blow up a balloon bigger than your head, 204 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,000 wrap it, three poppadoms. 205 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,560 I'm in. METRONOME BEGINS TO TICK 206 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,840 Metronome. Metronome. 207 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,160 Metronome. 208 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,960 Metronome. Metronome. 209 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,840 Metronome. Metronome... 210 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,680 Metronome. Metronome. 211 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,120 Metronome. 212 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,840 Metronome. Metronome. 213 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:24,800 Well, it instantly sounds like a weird cult. 214 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,080 Have you got a pinhead? 215 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,400 Yes. Once you take the make-up and the hair off, 216 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,640 it's about the size of your pencil. Is it? 217 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,160 Is it?! 218 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,880 She does have quite a lot of hair though. Are we including hair in head? 219 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,720 Oh, no, you can't include hair. Definitely not, that's the wrapping paper. 220 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,400 No, hair is different to head, that's why... It grows ON the head. 221 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,720 ..there's two different words. LAUGHTER 222 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,480 Yeah, I thought so. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah. 223 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,440 Let's crack on. So those rules, 224 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:50,400 accomplish the most tasks with the fewest missed metronomes. 225 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,600 Lovely. We're going to start with a guy who used to go 226 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:56,840 by the name of Niak, now we call him Mike, yes Mike was Niak. 227 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,240 LAUGHTER Here... Here's his attempt. 228 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:00,960 Here's his attempt. Wow. 229 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,040 METRONOME TICKS 230 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,240 Metronome... Metronome. 231 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,760 Metronome... 232 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,520 Metronome. 233 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:13,240 Metronome... Metronome. 234 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,720 Metronome. Metronome. 235 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,600 Metronome... Metronome. 236 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,440 Metronome. Metronome. 237 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,240 How are you at wrapping? Metronome... 238 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:23,480 Metronome... So, so. 239 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,840 Metronome... Metronome. 240 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,040 Metronome. Metronome. 241 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,720 Metronome... Metronome. 242 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,960 Metronome. Metronome. 243 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,800 Metronome... Metronome. 244 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,800 You've got one minute left. Metronome... Metronome. 245 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,480 MOUTH FULL: Metronome. Metronome. 246 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,040 Metronome... Metronome. 247 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,600 MUFFLED: Metronome. Metronome. 248 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,320 Metronome... Metronome. HE CHUCKLES, SPLUTTERS 249 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,120 Metronome. HE MUMBLES 250 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,800 It's all...all gone. 251 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,440 WHISTLE BLOWS 252 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,960 It's all gone. APPLAUSE 253 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,120 CRUNCHING 254 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,280 HE STOPS CRUNCHING LAUGHTER 255 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,560 HE CRUNCHES, STOPS LAUGHTER 256 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,080 Thank you, Mike. Thank you. 257 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,120 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 258 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,800 I mean, I don't think there's anything in life that fazes you. 259 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,520 Don't think people are fazed by poppadoms, are they, normally? 260 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:25,400 But most people would, in their response to a task like that, 261 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:29,520 you see some facial change that would suggest 262 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,920 you think this is an unusual thing to be doing. 263 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,240 I just like to be told what to do. 264 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,760 Is that what it is? 265 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,640 Yeah. Even if it's wrap a balloon, say "metronome" and eating some poppadoms. 266 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,480 I'm just like, for the next five minutes... 267 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,520 ..it's easy street. LAUGHTER 268 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,720 You're a very strange man. 269 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,920 I'm just obedient. 270 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,680 He was very efficient. He only missed one metronome. 271 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,760 Wow. Wow. Next. 272 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,160 OK, well, now it's time to hear Sarah and Lee say metronome a lot. 273 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,000 But first I'd like to say thanks to the person subtitling this programme. 274 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,880 Thank you, subtitle person. Here we go. 275 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,280 Five minutes. METRONOME TICKS 276 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,200 Metronome. Metronome. 277 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:09,520 Metronome. 278 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,640 HURRIEDLY: Metronome... Metronome. 279 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,000 Metronome... 280 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,920 Metronome. 281 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,440 HURRIEDLY: Metronome! Metronome. 282 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:19,800 Metronome... 283 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,160 Metronome. 284 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,520 Is that bigger than my head? Metronome. Metronome. 285 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:24,840 Metronome. 286 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,160 Ow! Metronome. 287 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,760 Metronome. Can I just say it in my head? 288 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,680 Metronome. Not really. Metronome. 289 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,000 Metronome... Grr! 290 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,320 Metronome. Metronome. 291 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,480 MUFFLED: Metronome. Metronome. 292 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:36,600 Metronome. 293 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:37,960 Met... Oh, hello! Metronome. 294 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,360 I didn't notice the time! Metronome. Yeah, two minutes 15 left. 295 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,880 Metronome. Metronome. Metronome. 296 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,560 Metro... Metronome. 297 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,520 Metronome... Metronome. 298 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,840 Metronome. Met... I knew I shouldn't have cut my fingernails this morning. Metronome. 299 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,240 Metronome... Metronome. 300 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,840 POP! 301 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,320 I haven't... Metronome. 302 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,640 Metronome. I haven't got... Metronome. 303 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,840 ..the nerve.. Metronome. ..to do this show. Metronome. 304 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,080 MUFFLED: Metronome. 305 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,600 MOUTH FULL: Metronome... Metronome. 306 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,000 Metronome... Metronome. 307 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:06,920 Metronome. Thanks for the water. 308 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,360 Metronome... Metronome. 309 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,920 Would you like some water? Metronome. 310 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,280 Course I'd like some water! What do you think?! Metronome. 311 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,720 ..nome. 312 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,960 Metronome. Met... 313 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,680 POP! Ah, fuck! 314 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,240 Do I get points if I just metronome? 315 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,560 Metronome... 316 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,440 Metronome. Do I get another balloon? Metronome. 317 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,000 Do you want me to get you another balloon? Metronome. Metronome. 318 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,400 It's very hot. Metronome... Metronome. 319 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,520 INTO GLASS: Metronome. 320 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,160 Metronome. 321 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:37,000 Metronome... Metronome. You've got one minute left. 322 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,200 Metronome... Metronome. 323 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,720 Metronome. Metronome! 324 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:41,840 Metronome. 325 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,360 Metronome just went through my nose. 326 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:46,480 Metronome. 327 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,520 Metronome... HE CHOKES ON LAUGHTER 328 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,160 Metronome. 329 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,520 I've got a Bafta, me. Metronome. 330 00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,560 MUFFLED: Metronome. 331 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,960 HURRIEDLY: Metronome! 332 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,040 Metronome... Metronome. 333 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,160 Metronome. Metronome. 334 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,920 AIR ESCAPES BALLOON Fuck it. 335 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,160 Metronome... Metronome. 336 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,040 Metronome. 337 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,000 That was really disappointing. 338 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,360 I had really high hopes initially. 339 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,440 You had a real, um, multitask metronome going on. 340 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,640 Yeah. Can I say that nothing...like, if you were to go to, sort of, 341 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,440 give someone a visual representation 342 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:29,080 of what I feel like parenting feels like - 343 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,920 that's what parenting feels like. Right. 344 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,880 Are you doing a better job at home, just to be clear? 345 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,360 No, not at all. Not at all. LAUGHTER 346 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:39,360 Even worse was Lee who started strong 347 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,040 and then fully malfunctioned halfway through. 348 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,280 Went to pieces. 349 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,320 Just literally like watching a robot short-circuit, 350 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,920 and once the food and fluid was spilling out of your mouth. 351 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,240 Yeah. Did I hear you shout, "I've got a Bafta?" 352 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,760 Yeah. LAUGHTER 353 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,320 All right, it's break time. 354 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,400 Just time to go and pull up all your neighbour's plants 355 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,160 and tell them there's been a localised cyclone. Bye for now. 356 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,280 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 357 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,960 APPLAUSE Welcome back to Taskmaster. 358 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,920 Little Alex Horne, update us, please. 359 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,800 Before the break, the task involved them trying to say "metronome" 360 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,680 between every click of the metronome whilst also trying to blow up 361 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,200 a balloon bigger than their head, then wrap the balloon up 362 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,520 and also eat three poppadoms. 363 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,760 I've got a classics degree from Cambridge University. 364 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,600 Next up are Jamali and Charlotte. 365 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,680 Metronome. Metronome. 366 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,000 Metromome. Metromome. Metronome. 367 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:41,960 Metronome. Metronome. Metronome. 368 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:46,480 Metronome. I'm out of sync. 369 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:52,400 Metronome. Metronome. Metronome. Metronome. Metronome. 370 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,800 Metronome. Metronome. Metronome. 371 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:57,480 Is it bigger than my head? Metronome. 372 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,520 What do you think? Metronome. 373 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,000 I can't see. Metronome. Metronome. 374 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:06,080 Metronome. Metronome. Metronome. 375 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,920 Metronome. Metronome. 376 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:08,960 BALLOON POPS 377 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,600 Metronome. 378 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,800 Metronome. Metronome. Metronome. 379 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,120 Not quite yet. 380 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:21,320 Metronome. Metronome. 381 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,800 HE LAUGHS 382 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,520 Metromome. Metronome. 383 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,760 Metronome. Metronome. 384 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,840 Metromome. Metromome. Metromome. 385 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,120 Metromome. Metromome. Metromome. 386 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,240 PHONE: Metromome. Metromome. Metromome. 387 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,920 APPLAUSE 388 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:43,000 Metronome. Metronome. Metronome. Metronome. 389 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:47,560 PHONE: 390 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,920 Metromome. Metromome. 391 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,960 MUFFLED: Metromome. Metromome. Metromome. 392 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,080 What am I saying? Metromome? What is it? 393 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,960 PHONE: Metromome. Metromome... 394 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,760 Oh, my God, so dry! No chutney and no fucking... Done. 395 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:05,960 I'm done, man. You accomplished how many tasks? All of them. 396 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,760 How many? I did metronome...enough. Enough. 397 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,160 Ten seconds. Metronome. MUFFLED: Metronome. 398 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,760 LOUD CRUNCHES 399 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,560 WHISTLE BLOWS 400 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,280 SHE CHUCKLES 401 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:22,120 APPLAUSE 402 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:24,760 SHE COUGHS 403 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:25,800 AUDIENCE GROANS 404 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,120 What have you done? 405 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,760 I've had a bit of an accident. 406 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,640 APPLAUSE 407 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,880 Well, first things first, I'm not going to penalise either of them 408 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,600 for saying the word "metromome". 409 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,200 Yeah. Both of them, weirdly. 410 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,560 Nice to know I'm not the only one. Metromome! 411 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:45,880 It was "met your mum" by the end. 412 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,360 I've met your mum. I've met your mum. 413 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,240 I've met your mum. Met your mum. Met your mum. 414 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,920 I mean, that was absolute genius by Jamali, 415 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,080 the recording the "metromome." Oh, thank you. 416 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,840 Does it matter that Jamali, uh, popped his balloon? Well, it said 417 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,920 to inflate it bigger than your head, he did that. 418 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,720 He did that. It didn't stay bigger than his head, but he did then wrap 419 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,240 it up neatly, as did Lee, to be fair. 420 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,000 Yeah, they were both fairly impressive. 421 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,600 I suspect that Charlotte stopped saying "metronome" 422 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,280 half an hour before the end when she decided to focus all of her 423 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,200 energies into neatly feeding poppadoms into her mouth... 424 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,960 Get them down me. ..as if she were a poppadom crunching machine. 425 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,640 She missed quite a few at the end. Spinning them. Yeah. Yeah. 426 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,400 Can you tell me some statistics? Yeah, I think we have to, really. 427 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:25,280 I mean, Sarah didn't complete any of the tasks in the end. 428 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,880 But that's a good thing, right? 429 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,320 It's not a great thing. No. Hmm ...m. 430 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:32,040 It's nice to know that's how you run your home. 431 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,600 That's every morning. 432 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,240 Charlotte didn't eat all the poppadoms 433 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,840 and missed seven or eight "metronomes" at the end. No way. 434 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,720 That literally felt like half an hour, you were doing that. 435 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,360 That's uncanny, that. These two, I don't know what you want to do, 436 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,520 points-wise. I'm going to give them one point each. 437 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:53,200 And these two, Lee and Jamali, both missed three "metronomes." 438 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,560 Twice cos he was drinking and once, obviously, cos he was doing a pun 439 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,720 so he missed one at that point. I'll take it. 440 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,360 And what about the time when he was reduced to salivating out 441 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,720 of his mouth and shouting about his awards? 442 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,840 He stuck to... "Metronome" still came out following the BAFTA claim. 443 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,640 Yeah. I can see you in a curry house shouting about your BAFTA. 444 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,920 "Urrrgh ...FTA! Urrgh ...FTA." 445 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,840 So I'll tell you, it's joint second and four points each to Lee 446 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:21,840 and Jamali, but the poppadom balloon king was Mike Wozniak, 447 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,280 five points, one miss. 448 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,520 APPLAUSE Of course. Of course it was. 449 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,960 Scoreboard, please. Well, there's two people on four, 450 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,920 two people on seven but the outright leader 451 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,880 with eight points is Mike Wozniak. Oh. 452 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,840 APPLAUSE 453 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,000 Lovely. Task number two, please. 454 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,360 Yes, team time again 455 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:42,040 and this one has some pretty dire consequences for British wildlife. 456 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,400 Hello, Jamali. Hey, what's up? 457 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,200 Hello, Alex. Hello, Mike. 458 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,720 How are you? Terrific. Nice. 459 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,320 "Draw the best picture of a British animal." 460 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:12,280 "Each person must fill in one section at a time 461 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:16,200 "and may not look at any other section during that time." 462 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,880 "Every section must be used, and you may not communicate 463 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:23,360 "with each other in any way during the task." 464 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,160 "Best picture of a British animal wins." 465 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,960 "You have three minutes per section. Your time starts now." 466 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,680 How are you with British animals? Not great. 467 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:37,240 I mean, first instinct is, is hedgehog, obviously. 468 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,880 The Great British Hedgehog. 469 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,560 But maybe he'll go lion. I mean, they're not common... 470 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,040 ..but they're sort of emblematic, aren't they? 471 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,360 Let's, uh, let's talk about what constitutes a British animal. 472 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,960 It's nice that, uh, Mike, uh, evokes the days of the Raj 473 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,200 by mentioning lions, but I suspect you meant more domestic creatures. 474 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,160 Well, yeah, you had to second guess the rest of your team-mates. 475 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,840 They couldn't speak to each other in the gap, so I thought people would 476 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,240 go for a mountain hare, like you get in Scotland, or... 477 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,080 Yeah, that classic, classic British... 478 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:09,400 ..badger. ..creature, a mountain hare. 479 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,800 Let's have a look. Here we go. It's a montage! 480 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,560 Uh, some hedgehog legs. 481 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,480 It's quite beautiful, innit? 482 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:19,760 Yeah. What is it? 483 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,200 Pidgeon. 484 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,200 Perhaps he can be having a nice walk on a mossy surface. 485 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,760 WHISTLE BLOWS 486 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,760 Yeah, I've totally messed it up. 487 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:31,320 Please go away and you can come back in three minutes. OK. 488 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:33,480 Thank you. 489 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,360 Hi, Alex. Hello, Charlotte. Hello. 490 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,640 "Draw the best picture..." "..of a British animal." 491 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,320 Your time starts now. 492 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:47,600 It's gonna have to be... That's going to be its feet. 493 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,160 Oh, what could it be? It'll be a bird of a sort. It'll be a bird. 494 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,160 Uh, a Burford Brown hen. 495 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,600 What's your relationship with these hens? Posh eggs. 496 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:00,600 So, they are the feathers of a grouse. 497 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,040 WHISTLE BLOWS Thank you. 498 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,040 We'll see you in six minutes' time. 499 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,800 Straight to it? Yes, your time has started. 500 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,680 Do you think he's carried on with hedgehog? 501 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,000 I mean, there's a chance, isn't there? It's a gamble. 502 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,120 What's a British animal? A fox. 503 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,160 A rabbit is what I meant by that. 504 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,520 Is that a kangaroo? 505 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,840 WHISTLE BLOWS I'll see you in three minutes, Mike. 506 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,040 Thank you. I've had a little time to think about this, 507 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,200 about how ridiculous it is. I mean, how can we possibly know? 508 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,040 Because it's... We're still pissing in the dark, aren't we, here? 509 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,960 Yeah, but, even if you're pissing in the dark, you know roughly where to aim. 510 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,680 Two minutes left from this section. 511 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,880 Oh, have we start...? You didn't... That's not fair. 512 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,000 I'm just going to carry on drawing what I was doing. 513 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,360 Wings. 514 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:45,920 Yeah, I fucked that up. 515 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,280 WHISTLE BLOWS 516 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,560 This seems like a good eye level so I'm hoping Lee hasn't eyeballed. 517 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,880 Lovely green eyes. 518 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,200 Oh, that's a bit worrying cos I've got a little bit of something there. 519 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,120 There's a hint of rabbit right there. 520 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,720 Right. Now, I'm going to have to assume that this, 521 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,840 this would be the head. 522 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,920 This is entirely ear. 523 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,680 WHISTLE BLOWS There you go. 524 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,800 WHISTLE BLOWS All right. All right. 525 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,320 OK. Goodbye. It's not good, is it? 526 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,360 It might be. 527 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,160 Well, it looks like it's going to fit together a treat! 528 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,680 We're actually going to look at the team of three first of all, 529 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,160 what they did, and it combined to look like this classic. 530 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,960 Oh, my God. ..British wildlife. It's quite noble. 531 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,640 It's moulting a couple of wings and its legs. Mm. 532 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,360 I should say, Jamali did the fourth and fifth section. 533 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,280 They're actually quite beautiful. They are. Jamali can actually draw. 534 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,400 Unfortunately, they don't join up. He didn't give himself enough of a hint. 535 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,320 That's cos you covered it. I couldn't remember where I put it the first time. 536 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:50,160 Yeah. That is true, partly my fault. I wouldn't worry about that, mate. 537 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,440 Someone's put some kangaroo legs on it. It's been absolutely ruined. 538 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,120 Um, and actually, I've done a physical representation of it, 539 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,640 -Greg, in 3 -D form. If you have a look in your little drawer... 540 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:02,560 Yep, it's horrible. Let me see it. 541 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,560 Beautiful. Ahh, mate. That's beautiful. What you talking about? 542 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,720 Imagine seeing that in the wild. You'd want it as a pet. 543 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,120 But if you saw it in the wild, if you were just walking along, 544 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,880 and it stepped out... I'd kill it, yeah. You'd stamp it to death. 545 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,880 Oh, yeah, yeah, but then I'd take it home and show my children afterwards. 546 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,840 I would assume it's giving me quests. 547 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,760 I'd wring its neck as soon as look at it. That's so sweet! 548 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,680 They're already endangered. 549 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,640 I think it does look quite British. 550 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,280 Its sort of bottom half is like an, an upturned acorn, 551 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,160 so that is quite British. I can't believe you made it. 552 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,880 There it is. Are you talking to it, Greg? 553 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,160 I am growing affectionate towards it. 554 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,720 That's it, come on. 555 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,320 Oh, dear God... Oh, wow. Oh. 556 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,560 Wow. That's it, let Daddy feed you. 557 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,120 WHISPERS: Shh, he's asleep. He's feeding. 558 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,440 OK, it's time for some more advertising. 559 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,560 Maybe buy a big pair of scissors to cut your credit cards up, 560 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,840 or a rug cleaner - up to you. 561 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,000 APPLAUSE 562 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,040 Oh, hello, we're back again, it's Taskmaster, it's part three 563 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,320 and it's Little Alex Horne and his Little Alex update. 564 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:12,840 ♪ Little Alex update. ♪ 565 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:16,240 Yes, before the break the teams were trying to draw a picture of a British animal, 566 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:17,560 but they had to draw a bit of it, 567 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,880 cover it up and then let the next person in their team take over. 568 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,760 Now it's time to have a look at what Mike and Lee came up with together. 569 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,720 It looks like this, Greg. 570 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,040 Ooh. 571 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,000 It depends where you're taking the eyes cos it's a bit LIONEY. 572 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,320 It's a four-eyed beast. 573 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,720 Oh, no, no, no, no. No. That's a four-eyed beast. 574 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:36,960 No, no, that's a hat. 575 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,040 It's a novelty hat that it's wearing, of a bird. 576 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,480 It's a British animal that can go out and purchase a hat? 577 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,160 It's a... Yeah, we did two heads. 578 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,440 Can I just ask a question? Yes. 579 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,160 Does it feed through its beak or through its stomach mouth? 580 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,200 Uh... It feeds through its beak, 581 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,320 but it feeds its young through its stomach mouth. 582 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,360 The young will assemble in an orderly queue 583 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,640 and then what is emitted from that, urgh, 584 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:00,920 is the... 585 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,120 They lap that up. 586 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,720 So just to be clear, it eats through its beak. Yeah. 587 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,800 It semi-processes the food. Yeah. 588 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,080 Its young gather round. Yeah. Queue up. 589 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:11,920 Sorry, they queue up. It's an orderly species. 590 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,920 They feed. They say thank you. 591 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,480 They feed through their beak? Through their beak. 592 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,160 They just have to open their beak and then the stomach... 593 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,640 ..squeezes it out to sort of paste. 594 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:21,680 And is that....? 595 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,520 It's a bit like a sausage of chicken meat. 596 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,120 Same sort of consistency. 597 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,640 Everyone knows this about the hedgehog-legged owl. Yeah. 598 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,800 -There is a 3 -D version in your draw again. How exciting. 599 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,960 I think you'll enjoy this one. 600 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,840 Oh, God. 601 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,520 So.... 602 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:40,600 Wow. 603 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,760 The top head is quite serene as you can see. 604 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,160 Yeah. Oh. 605 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,200 Well, Greg, you've got to judge these two Great British creatures. 606 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:51,000 I suppose I've got to think about which would benefit the British Isles the most. 607 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,640 Yes, you do. Always. Yeah. 608 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,520 Do you know what I'm going to do? 609 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:56,720 Yeah. 610 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,040 I'm going to give three points to one creature 611 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,760 and two points to the other because 612 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,720 I think they're both wondrous creatures 613 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,400 and I'd be happy to be wandering across a moor and to bump into either. 614 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,880 For me, the hedgehog-legged owl takes it. 615 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,000 Ooh. And I'll tell you why. Yes, please. 616 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:12,640 Just a small fact that Mike threw in, 617 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,600 in Britain we queue. 618 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,720 So, the fact that this creature has had the sense 619 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,680 to teach basic manners to its young 620 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,000 means it takes an extra point. There's two points. 621 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,400 Three points for this creature, two points for that. 622 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,120 I have made my judgment. 623 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,400 Well, then that's three points to Mike and Lee. 624 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,440 APPLAUSE 625 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:32,840 Happy with that. 626 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,600 HIGH VOICE: Can we have another, please? 627 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,720 Always, especially when you fly Taskmaster Airways. 628 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,000 Oh. 629 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,680 DRAMATIC MUSIC 630 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,600 Hello, Mike. 631 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,640 Charlotte. 632 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,320 Hiya. You look very happy. 633 00:27:58,360 --> 00:27:59,920 Yeah, I'm in a plane. 634 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,160 Hello, Sarah. 635 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,840 Alex. 636 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:07,760 Welcome on board. Thank you. 637 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,560 Hello? 638 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:21,160 That's it. 639 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,720 "Record the greatest aircraft safety announcement 640 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:33,280 then perform the greatest aircraft safety demonstration." 641 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,040 "Your announcement must be in an accent." 642 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:44,280 "Your announcement must be in an accent or language other than your own." 643 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,880 "And your demonstration must be unforgettable." 644 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,000 "You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now." 645 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:52,360 Eek. 646 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:53,560 Good grief. 647 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:54,960 Do you understand the task? 648 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,760 I, I'm afraid I do. 649 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,760 This is...this is... 650 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:01,720 SCOTTISH ACCENT: Lorraine Kelly. 651 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:05,760 This is the greatest safety announcement you'll ever hear. 652 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,720 So I've got to do like an accent? 653 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,960 Which is...? Or a different language. Do you speak any other languages? Yeah. 654 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,880 Petite parlez vous en Francais. 655 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:13,920 Ooh, French. Yeah. 656 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,480 GEORDIE ACCENT: Stay in your seats and stay facing forward, forward, 657 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,960 Cheryl Cole South Shields, forward. 658 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:23,680 I'm so sorry. 659 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,680 Everyone. 660 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,280 APPLAUSE 661 00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:29,200 Wonderful. Wonderful. 662 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:33,280 Charlotte's, er, children's TV show really, really taking form there. 663 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:34,800 We're in a plane boys and girls. 664 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,640 Where are we this week, Charlotte? "I'm in a plane. Eek." 665 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:39,400 Oh, God. 666 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:40,680 It's the end. 667 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,200 Um, Jamali, that is one sweet French accent. 668 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,440 Yeah, yeah, and that's... I...I...I can't say a lot. 669 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,600 Well, un cheval. 670 00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,240 Merci. Merci beaucoup. 671 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:52,800 Il est dans le jardin. 672 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,640 Shall we? OK, so, we're going to see five, hopefully, unforgettable 673 00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,880 aircraft safety announcements 674 00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:04,040 and first of all we're going to see a hint of Jamali and a snifter of Lee. Good luck. 675 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,840 Bonjour. 676 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,240 AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: Well, good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, 677 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,960 this is Captain Perigan Twatcustard, welcome aboard the flight. 678 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,560 If you look out of your window to the right you'll just see, 679 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,600 uh, in the distance there Mount Everest, 680 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,520 which is a little bit of a concern 681 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,880 given that we're going from Heathrow to New York. 682 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,920 In the eventy 683 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,400 of, eh, bon crash, 684 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,240 a life jacket, 685 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,680 eh, uh, bonito. 686 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,920 Ca va. 687 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,760 In the unlikely event of the plane landing on water 688 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,400 and I, of course when I say landing I do of course mean crashing, 689 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,880 uh, underneath your seat you'll find 690 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:51,040 a really, really long snorkel, 691 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,000 uh, and you're going to need that. 692 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,000 Comment tu t'appelles? 693 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,480 Je m'appelle. 694 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,320 Quel age as-tu? 695 00:30:58,360 --> 00:30:59,760 J'ai dix ans. 696 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,560 La mer. 697 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:07,000 In the unlikely event of a sudden evacuation, 698 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,040 please make sure you do use the toilets. 699 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:14,280 Obviously, just a little bit of a light-hearted joke there to make you feel calm, 700 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,440 but seriously if you do need a shit, 701 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,040 please use the toilets. 702 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,400 The fire exits are situated, uh, above your heads 703 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,600 and will drop down from the ceiling 704 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,960 or is that oxygen masks? I can't remember but please, uh, 705 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:29,520 please remember the chances of survival are slim. 706 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,240 Don't forget, peanuts are available. 707 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:33,680 Have a nice flight. 708 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,160 Bonjour. 709 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,840 Au revoir. 710 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,960 Comment tu t'appelles? 711 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,560 Merci. 712 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,320 APPLAUSE 713 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:46,800 I think that's pretty, 714 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,320 pretty good. 715 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:52,000 Yeah, I think I would be very happy to take off now. 716 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,920 Thank you, Jamali. Ah, no. 717 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,680 Um, when you said before we saw the film that you didn't speak that much French. Yeah. 718 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,400 Because I'd seen your first pronunciation and was impressed by it, 719 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:11,040 I thought, "Jamali's just being modest." 720 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:12,880 You weren't being modest. 721 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,360 Yeah, but I'm surprised that I actually got some words. 722 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,640 I don't think we can count "aircrafty". 723 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,800 Aircrafty's, that's pretty French, hombre. 724 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:21,920 Hombre! You said, "Welcome on board... 725 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,920 ..welcome aboard the aircrafty." Yeah. 726 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:26,040 And then... Facts. 727 00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:29,040 And then said, "What's your name? How old are you?" 728 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,320 Clear and concise, I'm just trying to spread your audience more to France. 729 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,080 Get a European audience. 730 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,240 Thank you. 731 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,480 Um, who's this guy? Who's this character? 732 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,240 I hated him by the way. Thank you. 733 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,280 I counted four times that you predicted 734 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:42,960 the demise of all the passengers. 735 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,880 Isn't that what all safety announcements are? 736 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:48,560 They only talk you through the worst-case scenarios, always. and that's what I was doing. 737 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,760 I was just pushing it a little bit further. You pushed it a bit further in that 738 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,400 you said that everyone was going to die 739 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,520 and that the chances of making it to the other side 740 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:56,760 were virtually zero. 741 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:58,320 In a crash that is probably true. 742 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,800 Then they can relax because actually if you start thinking, 743 00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,360 "What do I need to do if it crashes?" 744 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,800 If you go, "Oh, actually nothing I'll probably die you actually enjoy the flight. 745 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:07,360 OK, who's next? 746 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:11,240 It's time now to look at and listen to Charlotte and Sarah. 747 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,520 SCOTTISH ACCENT: This is the greatest safety announcement you'll ever hear, 748 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,400 accompanied by the greatest aircraft safety demonstration. 749 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,120 Stay in your seats and stay facing forward if you think 750 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,480 this is the greatest safety announcement you've ever heard. 751 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,160 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 752 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,800 SHE SPEAKS GOBBLEDYGOOK 753 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,680 ...Airlines. 754 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:40,360 SHE SPEAKS GOBBLEDYGOOK 755 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,600 Oh, oh. 756 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,600 Keep your luggage in the overhead lockers if you agree. 757 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:49,160 If you don't agree, get up and jump out of your nearest window. 758 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,560 Your choice, a free world. 759 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:55,320 Oooooh! 760 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,720 SHE SCREAMS 761 00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,280 How does this fucking thing work? 762 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,000 SHE SPEAKS GOBBLEDYGOOK 763 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,000 Aargh! 764 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,520 ...and die! 765 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,600 Good to see you're all still here. Clap with me. 766 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,240 Click with me. 767 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:13,800 Off we go. 768 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:15,120 Applause. 769 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:16,520 SHE CLAPS 770 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:20,720 Aargh! 771 00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:23,080 SHE SPEAKS GOBBLEDYGOOK 772 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:24,320 ...your flight. 773 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,760 So, the challenge was the greatest? Yes. 774 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,520 Greatest steward's announcement. 775 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,280 Had to be unforgettable as well. 776 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,200 So, what part of greatest were you attempting? 777 00:34:37,240 --> 00:34:38,480 Unforgettable. 778 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,200 You put more emphasis on unforgettable? 779 00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:43,240 I mean, I can't do accents or speak another language, 780 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:47,200 uh, so that's what it ended up as. Yeah. 781 00:34:47,240 --> 00:34:50,120 Yeah, you're right it, it is difficult to justify. 782 00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,200 But it's an unforgettable safety announcement 783 00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:55,560 and if I saw that announcement, 784 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,080 I'd never forget that. Yeah. 785 00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:58,560 Charlotte is hiding from you. 786 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,080 I'm not. 787 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:04,560 Why? It's not like she's done yet another performance on a children's TV show. 788 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,600 Clap with me, click with me. 789 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:12,120 Well that, that could be... Spice it up. Ooshie's catchphrase maybe. Spice it up. 790 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:15,960 This was the task she apologised about most. She apologised to everyone in the end. 791 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,600 Have you apologised personally to Lorraine Kelly yet? 792 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,880 Yes, yes, I've written her an email 793 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,840 and I have haven't heard back. 794 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,760 Right, that's the end of another part, 795 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,640 but if you want to see someone take home 796 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,320 Sarah Kendall's wobbly sausage of chicken meat, 797 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,240 well you know where we are. 798 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,560 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 799 00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,520 Hello, welcome back for the third time today. 800 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,320 You'll get to feast your eyes on the credits soon enough. 801 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,320 But, first, how are our flight attendants doing, Alex? 802 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,000 Well, all badly. 803 00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,040 I don't know. You're the judge. 804 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,200 The last person we're going to see is the person who looks 805 00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:00,360 more like a pilot than any actual pilot. 806 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:01,680 It's Mike Wozniak. 807 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,120 HE ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK GERMAN: 808 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:06,640 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 809 00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:13,280 Evoking the sitcoms of the 1970s there. 810 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,120 I don't know how much of that was genuine German. 811 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,360 Quite a lot, I think? It's basically every German word 812 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:18,720 I can remember from GCSE German. 813 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,400 And he was a cheeky little sausage, wasn't he? He had a bit of sass. 814 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:22,920 Did you enjoy shnurrbart? 815 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,600 I enjoyed shnurrbart. 816 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:29,120 I enjoyed him displaying his backside which, of course, 817 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,440 with Mike, as we know, is a dangerous activity. 818 00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,000 Was that on the same day? 819 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,520 It was about an hour before it happened. 820 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:40,160 That's the, sort of, last recorded footage of my tooshie in 821 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:41,520 its sweetest era... 822 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,960 ..before it moved to a very different part of life. 823 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,200 Even though he was predicting death, 824 00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:52,440 he was such a jaunty character. 825 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,680 I guess I'm going to judge these on who I'd be most comforted 826 00:37:55,720 --> 00:37:58,200 getting in a plane with, and for some reason 827 00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:01,440 I would be less unnerved by Mike's character. So, five sweet points. 828 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,400 Well done, Mike. I would rather be in the company of Charlotte's 829 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:09,800 children's TV presenter and Jamali's smooth-voiced Frenchman than 830 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,880 I would be with these two absolute nutters. So, the four points... 831 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,360 Four points to Charlotte and Jamali. And for the lunatics - three. 832 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,240 Three points to Lee and Sarah. But five points to 833 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:18,920 the tooshie in its sweetest era. 834 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,560 APPLAUSE Sweet tooshie action. 835 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,000 Quick look at the scores, please, Alex. 836 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,480 Well, series-wise, Charlotte is now in the lead. 837 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:30,080 That's... No, the opposite. Sorry, she's on 88. 838 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,120 Jamali's on 109. 839 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,960 Lee and Mike both battling it out for second. 118. 840 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,640 Nine points ahead at the moment, Sarah Kendall. 841 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,720 APPLAUSE 842 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:43,000 And in terms of the episode - exciting! Jamali and Lee, 843 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:46,960 joint second on 13. But the leader, with 16 points, is Mike Wozniak. 844 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,240 APPLAUSE 845 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,320 All right, everybody, make your way to the stage 846 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:52,840 for the final task of the show! 847 00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,360 Ooh, what a contraption. 848 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:00,640 Who's going to read it? Charlotte Ritchie. 849 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,120 Pop. 850 00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,560 Pop! Well, it's sticky now, isn't it? So, I might as well embrace it. 851 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:10,880 OK. Stand on either one leg or both legs... 852 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:17,280 ..you must do so one at a time behind this curtain, 853 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:18,800 with your hands on your head. 854 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:21,680 The Taskmaster will then guess 855 00:39:21,720 --> 00:39:24,400 if you're standing on either one leg or both legs. 856 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:27,320 If he guesses correctly you are eliminated. 857 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:31,520 The last person standing on either one leg or both legs wins. 858 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,400 So, one at a time, you're going to hide behind the curtains 859 00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:37,400 and you're either going to be like this or like this. 860 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,200 Once your hands are on your head you cannot change 861 00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:42,160 the number of feet that are on the floor. 862 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:45,520 So, it's Charlotte to play first. Please enter the standing booth. 863 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:46,840 OK. 864 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,520 Take as long as you want to get in position, 865 00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,960 but once your hands are on your head, Charlotte, that's it. Ooh. OK. 866 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,640 You can't see my legs, can you? 867 00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,080 No, there's a curtain there. OK. 868 00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:58,920 LAUGHTER OK. 869 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:03,760 They're on, Greg. She's all yours. 870 00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,920 Well, she's a trained actress, so that wobble's very natural. 871 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:09,520 One leg or two? 872 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,000 Are you on one leg or two? 873 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,640 I'm asking you. I'm not telling you. OK. 874 00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,560 Well, I hope I'm wrong in many ways, but I'm saying, 875 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:23,080 with some confidence, she's on both legs. 876 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,640 She's standing on two legs? Yeah. 877 00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:29,760 My career is actually over, isn't it? 878 00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:31,440 LAUGHTER 879 00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,760 Thank you. You are out of the game. 880 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:36,560 I can't believe that. I was so convinced. 881 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,960 Next up to the standing booth, it's Jamali Maddix. Come on, Jamali. 882 00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:42,960 Oh. He's in, Greg. 883 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,760 Yeah, he is. Don't forget, Greg, just keep an eye on me 884 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:47,600 and I'll tell you what he's doing. 885 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,600 I'm already less confident than I was. 886 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,000 OK, hands on the head. 887 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,280 I think he's on one. 888 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,080 Ooh. Oh! 889 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,520 Sweet wobbling. Method. Method acting. 890 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,320 Sweet, sweet wobbling. I was practising over there. 891 00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:17,160 Method acting, mate, I got into the role. 892 00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:19,760 Jamali, can you tell me how you do that? Jamali... 893 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,760 I thought he was double bluffing me. Yeah, thank you. Good stuff. 894 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:24,440 Jamali is through to round two. 895 00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,920 Lee, would you mind entering the standing booth? 896 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:30,440 OK, let's dance. 897 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,080 LAUGHTER 898 00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,440 I haven't started yet. 899 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,440 Here we go. Come on now. Here we go. 900 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:42,240 Oh, that's nice. 901 00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,840 They're on. That's nice cos he's leading me to believe 902 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:47,960 that he's on... 903 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,360 No, I know. He's out. 904 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:53,800 He's on one leg. 905 00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:57,520 Argh! 906 00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:03,360 Lee, you're in round two with Jamali Maddix. Ah. 907 00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,680 Mike Wozniak, you're into the machine. 908 00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:07,800 I'm not... I'm not playing mind games with you, 909 00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,800 but I know you're out straight away. Yeah? 910 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,560 I know your face. Hang on. 911 00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:16,720 Look at me. 912 00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:23,560 They're on. 913 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,920 There's a gentle sway there, isn't there? 914 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,560 You're trying to sell two, but you're standing on one. 915 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:31,600 Is he? 916 00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,640 Out, vile jelly! 917 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:38,920 OK, so at the moment, it's just Lee and Jamali in round two. 918 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:43,280 I've got my groove now. Bring Kendall into the lion's den, please. 919 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:47,280 With all that hair I wouldn't risk one leg, you're top-heavy. 920 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:48,320 She's in. 921 00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,760 This is all fine, she's allowed to do this. Yeah. 922 00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,120 She needs to get her hands on her head. 923 00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,960 She's yours, Greg. It was creative but you're on two legs. 924 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:09,520 Fuck! 925 00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,480 We have three people in round two, Greg. Oh, man. 926 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,160 Jamali Maddix, please re-enter the standing booth. 927 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,480 Oh, lovely. Oh, clever. Yeah. 928 00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:20,960 The hands are on the head. 929 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,560 That's a sweet technique. 930 00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,640 It is, innit? It is. Yeah. 931 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,560 Oh, is it one leg or two? Ah, dunno! 932 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:29,720 Zut alors. 933 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,320 Yeah. Je... Je vais... 934 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:34,280 I don't want to be arrogant, but the man's on one leg. 935 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,720 Yes! You're quite right, Greg. 936 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:38,840 Worth a try. 937 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,480 You know what that was a classic case of? Hubris. 938 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:44,000 Flew too close to the sun, yeah. Yeah. 939 00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,000 But it was exciting. 940 00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,280 Only Lee and Sarah surviving. 941 00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,360 Oh. Oh. 942 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:58,040 Schoolboy error, that, weren't it? Gag before. 943 00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:00,560 Here we go. 944 00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:06,800 I'm going for the Jamali technique of concentration. 945 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,560 The hands are on the head, Greg. 946 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,600 Just looking for a slight tremor. 947 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:17,800 Is that a heartbeat? 948 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:21,720 The man's on one leg. 949 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:27,480 AUDIENCE GROANS Ah! 950 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,160 Lee Mack survived. We have a finalist or a winner. 951 00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:34,400 Good technique. 952 00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,760 This is it. Kendall's been such a big player 953 00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,480 in this competition so far. 954 00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:39,520 Come on, Sarah. 955 00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:42,880 We've seen this before. 956 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:53,400 It's tried and tested. 957 00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,600 LAUGHTER 958 00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:04,600 She's mine for the taking. 959 00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,600 She's on one leg. 960 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,280 Yeah, she is! Holy moley! 961 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,720 Which means we have a winner, Mr Lee Mack. He takes it. 962 00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:13,640 What a game. 963 00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,160 What a climax. 964 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:18,120 Come down, let's see how that's affected the final scores. 965 00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:24,120 That must've affected things, young fellow, my lad. It really has. 966 00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,680 What a game of bluff, double bluff, triple bluff, and more bluff. 967 00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:29,960 Yeah. Only one point each to Charlotte and Mike. 968 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:31,440 They went out in the first round. 969 00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,000 Then we lost Jamali and Sarah, three points each, 970 00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,680 but the winner of One Leg Or Two was, of course, Mr Lee Mack. 971 00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:39,800 Took it. The old, knackered legs. 972 00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,200 And quite an episode, this. 973 00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:44,920 Up and down people were, in and out, 974 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,840 under and below, up we go! 975 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,280 And the winner... 976 00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,280 LAUGHTER 977 00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:54,480 And the winner, with a total of 18 points, he wasn't in the lead, 978 00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:56,000 but he is now, it's Lee Mack! 979 00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:57,320 Hey! 980 00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Lee wins! 981 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:02,560 Please go all wobbly for your wobbly things! 982 00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:08,840 So, what have we learnt today? 983 00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:11,280 We've learnt that if you find yourself out, 984 00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:15,120 wandering on the moors, and you hear a strange noise that draws 985 00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,800 you in and you want to discover what its source is... 986 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,680 HE GRUNTS AND SNAPS 987 00:46:19,720 --> 00:46:23,000 ..try not to worry, it's just Charlotte Ritchie powering through 988 00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:24,080 some poppadoms. 989 00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,440 Bye for now. See you next time, but not until we've applauded 990 00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,720 tonight's winner once more, Mr Lee Mack! 991 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 992 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,720 Subtitles by Red Bee Media