1 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,480 Yow! 2 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,000 I just need to read that again. 3 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:16,960 Oh. 4 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 5 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,480 Hello. I'm Greg Davies. Welcome to Taskmaster. 6 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,000 Got a job that needs doing? 7 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,200 Worried you'll never find anyone to do it? 8 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:39,960 Perhaps it feels too degrading? 9 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,480 Maybe it's a job that doesn't really need doing at all. 10 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,840 Well, good news. 11 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,360 I happen to know five people who will do anything for a handful of rice 12 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,480 and the chance to win a trophy that I can tell you from personal experience 13 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,080 does not peak interest on eBay. 14 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,600 Who are these super-subservient savants? I'll tell you. 15 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,920 They're Charlotte Ritchie! 16 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,480 APPLAUSE 17 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,360 Jamali Maddix! 18 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:03,880 Lee Mack! 19 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,360 Mike Wozniak! 20 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,280 And Sarah Kendall! 21 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:12,080 And next to me, a man who is single-handedly keeping 22 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,680 the plastic slip-on shoe industry alive - 23 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,600 it's little Alex Horne. 24 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,200 Yeah. Proud of that. 25 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:19,560 No shame. 26 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,880 Absolutely weird. 27 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,440 They're even more practical than Velcro. 28 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,000 Don't know why you wouldn't wear them. I'm feeling nostalgic. 29 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,160 Are you? I was thinking about old holidays and I've brought a couple of photos. 30 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,840 Are we at the stage where I can show you holiday photos? Yeah? Yeah. 31 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,920 Just a few favourite from my 20s. 32 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,040 That's me at the Champs-Elysees. 33 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,000 That is actually you. At the Champs-Elysees. 34 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,400 At the Champs... Took a picture of a couple of gendarmes. 35 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,160 Sometimes they wear, uh, roller skates in France. Yeah. 36 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,360 That's me in, uh, Scotland on Iona, 37 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,520 on a little, uh, stony promontory. 38 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,680 Yeah, it is. Yeah. It's nice, isn't it? 39 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,080 And that is genuinely it for this section. 40 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,200 He brought some old photos in to show me. 41 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,360 And I was tipped off just before, 42 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:57,840 so I've, um, 43 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,320 got one of my family photos to show Alex. 44 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,760 So, that's nice. 45 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,200 So now we can get on with the game. 46 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:08,960 Now that we've shared family photos, 47 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,320 we can get on with the game. 48 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:11,520 LAUGHTER 49 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,720 Let's get on with the prize task. 50 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,440 Of course. 51 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:19,640 The category this week is The Most Annoying Thing. 52 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,440 AIR HORN BLASTS 53 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,600 For example. 54 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:26,000 Greg will award five points to the person who's brought in the most annoying thing, 55 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:29,720 and at the end of the show the overall winner will take home five really annoying things 56 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,720 and probably feel quite annoyed about winning. 57 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,200 All right, then. Mm. 58 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,680 Sarah. Mm. 59 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,280 Annoy me. OK. 60 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:40,320 Uh, so I brought in, uh, what I found out is called a stud finder. 61 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,400 That's what it looks like. Little machine. 62 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,600 You drag it across a wall, 63 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,120 and it should go beep-beep-beep - 64 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,560 means you've got something to drill into. 65 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,760 A beeeep-beeeep means electrics, 66 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,120 so don't drill into it. 67 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,440 Ahh. Right? And... OK. 68 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,520 ..every time I run it across any surface, it would give me 69 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:00,960 a different result. 70 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,040 Every single time - a different result. 71 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,200 I am annoyed by your description of it 72 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,800 and I'm annoyed by the object. 73 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,400 People do find these things annoying. 74 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,040 Nearly all the reviews are things like, 75 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,280 "Absolute rubbish. May as well call it a wall detector. 76 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,640 "Will beep for anything, even after recalibration..." 77 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,120 Will beep for anything? Yeah. Yeah, it's a piece of shit. 78 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,040 Lee? Can you beat old beepy? 79 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,480 Yes. Um... 80 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:22,880 LAUGHTER 81 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:26,160 I, uh, work on, uh, a television programme, 82 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,920 BBC One, called Not Going Out. 83 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,480 And I asked for a prop where I have to be attacked 84 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,520 by my fictional wife 85 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,960 by the common weapon of the yard of Twix. 86 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,240 A yard of Twix - and we've got it here. The yard of Twix. 87 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:43,360 And I got home and I said to the kids, 88 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,680 "Good news. I've got a yard of Twix." 89 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,080 The kids went crazy. "Oh, my gosh, this is amazing!" 90 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,000 They opened it up, but there wasn't a yard of Twix in there. 91 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,360 There was a piece of wood. Have you got the piece of wood? 92 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,400 Uh-huh. That's what was inside. 93 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:58,320 Oh. A solid piece of wood. 94 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,080 So, I'm very annoyed 95 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,400 because my kids are now crying, 96 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,280 they're screaming, they're going crazy. 97 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,440 That's pretty annoying, right? That is annoying. 98 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,240 Do you know why a Twix is called Twix? 99 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,160 Uh, no, I don't. But I'll guess. 100 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,520 Two wonderful...individual... 101 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,160 Hm! You've got it so far. 102 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,720 "It's chocolate..." 103 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,120 No, it's twin...twin biscuits. Oh. Twin biscuits, Twix. 104 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,640 What was that last one again? 105 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,440 "It's chocolate. It's chocolate." 106 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,360 Um, Charlotte, what did you bring in? 107 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,400 For me, the alarm clock is the most annoying item that there is that exists. 108 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,400 So Charlotte has brought in these alarm clocks. Yes. 109 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,840 I hate them all. They're the most annoying thing. 110 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,520 We can hear the noises if you want. This is how they sound together. 111 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,480 Oh, now we're talking. This might make them... 112 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,440 BEEPING AND RINGING 113 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,440 ALARMS STOP 114 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:53,000 It's ...'s... It's just the fact that I'm being woken up. 115 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,760 So you're bringing in the concept of being woken up? Yeah, yeah. 116 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,520 Well, I mean, the concept of sort of time endlessly going on 117 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,480 and having to continually wake up. 118 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,920 LAUGHTER 119 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,440 OK. Happy with that, Greg? Yeah, sort of. 120 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,680 Um, Jamali... What have you brought in? 121 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:07,920 Uh, kids' face paint. 122 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,160 Red, white and blue today. This is what he's brought in. 123 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,160 I'm fully on board with you about this, 124 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:16,160 but I just want to clarify what your reasons are for disliking face paint. 125 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,880 Is it you don't like having your face painted? 126 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,720 Or you don't like children... All of it. 127 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,640 ..drawing attention to themselves? All of it. 128 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,040 I've got two nieces who I'm fond of, but when they come up 129 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,200 and go, "I'm a tiger, and I've had my face painted..." 130 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,760 Yeah, it's jarring. I couldn't give a shit. It's never done... 131 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,800 I couldn't give a shit. They never actually look like the thing, really. 132 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:36,120 I have got a little cousin. He's like, "Oh, look, yeah, I'm a lion," and he was blue. 133 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:39,000 And it really pissed me off. It'd annoy me. Yeah. A blue lion? 134 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,960 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 135 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,120 Michael? Uh, I brought in a symbolic nipple. 136 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,600 Here is the symbolic nipple. 137 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,560 Uh, this is because I've got an oral fixation. 138 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,920 Pop psychology-wise would suggest that this began 139 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,520 with the nipple. 140 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:59,600 Unless I'm very, very, very, heavily distracted, uh, 141 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,800 I either have something in my mouth 142 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,400 or I'm thinking about what I could put in my mouth, 143 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:08,200 be it food, drink, nicotine gum, pens... 144 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,360 Are you thinking of something right now to put in your mouth? I am, yeah. 145 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,960 What do you want to put in your mouth now? I want to put in something minty. 146 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,000 LAUGHTER 147 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,360 If I put my... If I walk past you with my thumb like this, 148 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,760 you'd be on it? I'd be on it. OK. 149 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,400 Like a rat up a kilt. 150 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,200 LAUGHTER 151 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,600 Oh, that quaint old Scottish saying! 152 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,560 LAUGHTER 153 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,600 OK. Judgment time. In terms of objects... Yes. 154 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,320 ..it's party time for Charlotte, because she's not in last place. 155 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,640 Whoo. Cos I didn't find Lee's, um, Twix plank 156 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,240 in the slightest bit annoying. 157 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,560 One point to Lee. 158 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,400 The alarm clocks - you've got to get up, 159 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,320 you can't be suspended in time, you're a busy actress. 160 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,240 Pull yourself together. Two points. 161 00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,880 Thanks. Doubled her normal tariff. Well done, Charlotte. 162 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,880 Um, I, uh, found Mike's nipple charming. 163 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,720 Three points is as best you'll get from me. 164 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,200 Here we go, then. 165 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,240 Sarah, you double-layered it - you were annoying, it's annoying. 166 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,200 Four points. 167 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,000 So, because of a shared dislike 168 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,880 of children being free to express themselves, 169 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,680 Jamali takes five sweet points. 170 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,760 Well done, Jamali. Appreciate that. 171 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,160 APPLAUSE 172 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,520 Right. On with the first task proper, please, Alex. 173 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:19,760 Right you are. 174 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,400 And this one might just take the wind out of someone's sails. 175 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:24,800 Ooh. 176 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,360 Have a seat. Welcome on board. 177 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,400 Thank you, Alex. 178 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,440 Hello. 179 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,840 "Fart. 180 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,200 "Fartest wins. 181 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:50,800 "Your time starts now." 182 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,040 Not a lot going on at the moment. 183 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,480 Have you tried yet? 184 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,080 At the moment there's no... 185 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:06,240 ..no gas in the tank. So to speak. 186 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,320 Is there any way of putting gas in the tank? 187 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,800 Well, I wonder. There was a guy at primary school... 188 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,160 I think he used to have various brewing positions he used to swear by. 189 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,720 A lot of them involve sort of... sort of, kind of... 190 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,800 ..sort of positioning yourself like this, and so on. 191 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,160 Cos maybe there wasn't gas in the... 192 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,960 See if I can encourage it to go the other way. 193 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,840 Try and massage the inner... 194 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,280 ..the inner Mike. 195 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,280 I didn't know you could do this. 196 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,680 Neither did I. 197 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,440 I'm going to leave you to it for the moment. 198 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,800 You carry on. Yeah. We're now in a different season. 199 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,360 RAIN POURS 200 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,400 LAUGHTER 201 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:51,440 Right. 202 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,280 Well, occasionally in this show, 203 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,720 we have set tasks just to one solitary person. 204 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,640 Yeah. And you thought you might see Mike fart. 205 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,000 Do you know what bugs me about this task? 206 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,120 I've always got one in the bank ready to go. 207 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,640 LAUGHTER 208 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,800 You can't just summon that bad boy up, no? 209 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,080 I mean, it's a... It's a frequent event, absolutely. 210 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,240 But it's not... I mean, 211 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,880 I don't have the Sarah Kendall - 212 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,680 "Now, tick-tock, it's fart o'clock..." 213 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,720 LAUGHTER 214 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:19,080 I'm at the mercy of, you know, of internal happenings. 215 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:22,240 Yeah. So we will keep an eye on his fart brewing throughout the episode. 216 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,280 Oh, good, there's more to come, yeah? Well, he hasn't farted yet. 217 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,680 Is there a task 218 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,160 that everybody can take, uh, part in as well as farty-party Mike? 219 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,560 There is, and coincidentally this one is a little bit arty-farty. 220 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,880 Here we go. 221 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,640 Hello, Jamali. Hey. 222 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,960 Oh. How was it in there? 223 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,960 It was nice. It's actually not a bad caravan. 224 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,000 Good luck with it. Thank you. 225 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,280 Should I? Yes, please. 226 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,000 Hmm-mm. 227 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,160 "Make the best portrait of the Taskmaster on this door 228 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,600 "only using your feet." 229 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,440 "You have ten minutes." 230 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:10,880 Hang on, using only your feet? 231 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,360 Does that mean getting the lids off as well? 232 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,560 Oh, all the information's on the task. 233 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,200 "Your time starts now." 234 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,960 All right. 235 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,120 But I can pick this up? With your feet. 236 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,080 Oh, I have to use my feet to pick this up? 237 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,680 It's up to you how you interpret it. 238 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,200 Can I take my shoes off? 239 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,560 I mean, I'm not taking my shoes off for anybody. 240 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,400 All right. 241 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,360 Oh, my God. 242 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,120 LAUGHTER 243 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,280 My bad. 244 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:48,960 Right. 245 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,920 When you, um, stamped on the paint with all your might, 246 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,240 you seemed surprised that it... 247 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,280 Yeah, I just didn't... I didn't think it would shoot out that much. 248 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:59,800 Do you know what it is? I forget how big I am. 249 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,360 Do you know what I wrote down? 250 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,160 "Is your bathroom covered in toothpaste?" 251 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,520 LAUGHTER 252 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,080 "Bet your mum never says, 'Jamali, could you help me 253 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,520 "'get the lid off this jam?' cos she's had too many walls ruined. 254 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:14,120 Let's... Let's see some of the responses to this task. 255 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,640 OK, well, it's a simple task. 256 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:18,080 Paint a picture, but the twist is, you have to use your feet. 257 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,800 That's the task. Paint a picture, but with your feet. 258 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,640 OK? Simple as that. No hidden catch. 259 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,000 Your feet. 260 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,040 As was clearly stated on the task. 261 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,360 So, anyway, here is Lee Mack all by himself. 262 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,640 Mm. What colour shoes does he usually wear - Greg? 263 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,120 Black. There's no black. 264 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,440 No. What's the nearest colour to black? 265 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,920 White? 266 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,640 No, that's the opposite of black. 267 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,600 Why are you putting it on the top of your feet? 268 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,640 Because I'm going to slide. 269 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:48,120 Oh, hello. 270 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,920 What colour trousers does Greg usually wear? Black. 271 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,760 Haven't got any black, have you? No. 272 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,640 Ah. Wait a minute. 273 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:05,160 Could you squirt red from the waist down, covering the complete back? 274 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,360 Just the trousers. Are you doing it? Yes. 275 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,800 Is it nicely covered? 276 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,120 Ye... Yeah. 277 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,280 OK, here we go. 278 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,840 I'm going back now. 279 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,560 Ooh, not as young as I was! 280 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,040 Argh! 281 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,320 What does he wear on top usually? A black jacket. 282 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,560 Let's go orange again, then. 283 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,400 OK. I think you'll be pleased with me. 284 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:28,680 Right. 285 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,920 I think I've done well. 286 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,560 Alex, would you come and pick the door up, please? 287 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,560 Get me so that the level of that is level 288 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,040 with the top of the trouser... If it's not, tell... Yes. 289 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,200 Is it? Is the level of the top of the...? Yes. Yes. 290 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,480 Well, do it, then, quick. 291 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:41,800 Ow! 292 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:42,880 Oh, gosh. 293 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,120 Lift it up. 294 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,640 Please. Please lift it up now! 295 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,040 Does this wash off, this paint? 296 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,200 Look about right? Yeah. 297 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,000 Ta-da. 298 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,480 Finished? Yeah. 299 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,440 WHISTLE Thank you, Lee. 300 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,080 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 301 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,720 Wow. 302 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:16,320 Your view of me is that I am you with a bigger belly. 303 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,680 If you're not counting talent, yeah. And looks. Yeah. 304 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,400 Very nice. This is his picture of you. 305 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,200 It's a pretty good painting, I think, 306 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,640 as a piece of art, and nature has taken care of forming my penis, 307 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:28,760 I see! 308 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,240 What a shame that you didn't adhere to any of the rules... 309 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,560 No, I did. ..and it doesn't look like me in the slightest. 310 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,800 I did adhere to the rules, cos I only used my feet. 311 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,080 He, he put it onto my back. 312 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,480 And I used my feet to sort of rock it onto my back. 313 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,560 What about the legs? I didn't... What? The legs and the hands. 314 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,600 Yeah, but where do the feet end? 315 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,280 You're saying this is all foot? 316 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,800 It's a grey area, isn't it? 317 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,680 Where do the feet end and the hands start? 318 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,080 Right. It's the end of part one, 319 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,680 but also time for a progress update 320 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,960 on Mike Wozniak's very personal challenge. 321 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,360 Pump, pump, pump again. 322 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 323 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,000 LAUGHTER 324 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,560 The saga continues. 325 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,200 Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster. 326 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,600 What happened before the break, Alex? Before the break, 327 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,720 Lee Mack covered himself in paint and rubbed himself on a door. 328 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,320 Unlike Mike's task, we hadn't actually asked Lee to do that. 329 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,760 They're supposed to be painting a picture of the Taskmaster - that's you - 330 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,800 on the door provided, using only their feet. 331 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:41,400 Here's how the rest of them got on in a very moving montage. 332 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,720 Um, so what does Greg look like? 333 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,600 It's the eyebrows. That's the key to it, isn't it? 334 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,160 Do I get a picture for reference? 335 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,280 OK. 336 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:50,720 I've got a horrible feeling 337 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,600 I might have misinterpreted the instructions already, early doors, 338 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,720 but I'm a follower of rules. 339 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,400 HE GROANS LOUDLY 340 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,200 LAUGHTER 341 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,800 All right. Thank you. 342 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,280 That's, as a shape, 343 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,640 very helpful reference-wise, in terms of this...door. 344 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,480 Thank you, cos...especially considering 345 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,600 that's black and white and stuff, like, it's good, 346 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,280 cos you wouldn't want to make it too easy. 347 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,800 Are you really cross? Nope. 348 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,560 LAUGHTER 349 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,480 If I mix that in with the white... 350 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,000 Oh... 351 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,280 LAUGHTER 352 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,160 I've got it on my glasses. 353 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,520 So I've got the base down. 354 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,240 That's, uh... Oh, that's very Greg. 355 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,760 Just making a pink colour. 356 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,800 Start with a sort of key... 357 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,200 ..key detail. 358 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,280 There we go. 359 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:45,280 It's all in the jawline, isn't it? And making the head into a quadrant. 360 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:52,440 I'm sort of interpreting it in terms of, like, abstract. 361 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,720 Some gorgeous hair there. Oh, boy! 362 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,400 Gorgeous. 363 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:01,960 OK. 364 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,760 Can't remember what colour his eyes are. 365 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,200 Green eyes look nice, don't they? 366 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,640 There we go. 367 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,440 Oh, yeah. 368 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,360 You'd drown in those eyes. 369 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,960 What else goes on a head? 370 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,760 Eyes, eyebrows, ears... 371 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,520 The...the hair is a mixture of... 372 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,800 There's a bit of grey in there, isn't there? 373 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,360 With the greatest of respect, 374 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,120 I've given him a sort of provincial, um, purple rinse. 375 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,600 That's the lips. 376 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,600 Let's give him a little pirate ear. 377 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,680 LAUGHTER 378 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,280 And what's the blue? 379 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,720 It's his aura. 380 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:44,480 That wasn't the plan. 381 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,680 Hopefully give him some stripy thorax. 382 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,160 Oh. 383 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,520 LAUGHTER 384 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:56,840 Yeah. 385 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,920 What is that bit? Tree. 386 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,840 He's sitting under a tree, thinking of tasks and shit. 387 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,200 Oh, God, he doesn't have a bloody nose, either. 388 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,320 WHISTLE BLOWS Thank you, SK. 389 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:13,040 OK. Thank you, Mike. 390 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,000 Sorry about the caravan. 391 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,600 It's not just the caravan, in the end, but thank you. 392 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,680 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 393 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,600 Lovely. Well, there's two quotes 394 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,640 for the, uh, Taskmaster quote book, straight away. 395 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:29,200 Um, the idea of me sitting under a tree thinking of tasks and shit, 396 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,800 and, of course, Sarah's classic, 397 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,840 what else goes on a head? 398 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,360 LAUGHTER 399 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,480 Um, Jamali, it looks like you misread the task 400 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,760 and you thought it said, "Do a picture of Greg 401 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,880 "after his house has been hit by a drone strike." 402 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,240 LAUGHTER 403 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,560 No, it's the... 404 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,120 ..it's...it's abstract, isn't it? Like, you know art, like, 405 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,920 when they put, like, a blob on a wall and they go... 406 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,360 That's what I was doing for you, you know? Yeah. 407 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,280 I enjoy Charlotte's ongoing campaign 408 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,320 to get a job as a children's TV presenter. 409 00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:57,680 It's non-stop. Yeah. 410 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,120 My career might be over from this, 411 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,120 but not my career as a children's TV presenter. 412 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,000 No way, not with those moves! I can't wait. 413 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,920 Well, she said they were Year Six disco moves. 414 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,240 Did I say that? Mm-hm. 415 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,160 That was honestly my peak. 416 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,080 Can we see them? Yeah. We can still talk about them afterwards. Sure. 417 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,760 Should we start with Charlotte's picture? Yeah. This is what... 418 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,240 I mean, that... OK. 419 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,200 That is straight onto CBeebies, isn't it? 420 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,680 That's lovely, isn't it? Yeah, you can see the animation now. 421 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,400 That looks less like me 422 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,480 than Lee Mack's picture of himself. 423 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,200 Oh, disagree. 424 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,760 The specifics is that you're standing on a glass floor 425 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,400 and that you can see your footprints 426 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,920 and you're like, leaning, over 427 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,960 and it's a rippling reflection. 428 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,760 Oh, I see. Now...now you've put it in context... Yeah, now you get it. 429 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,440 ..it does look like me. Yeah. So from the point of view of a fish 430 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,120 under a glass-bottom disco boat? It... Yes! 431 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,160 Yeah. Shall I show you Mike's? Yeah. 432 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,440 So bear in mind, he said 433 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,920 he's trying to represent the sternness in the eyebrows, 434 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,920 kissable lips, not an unattractive man. 435 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,600 LAUGHTER 436 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,200 It's terrifying. 437 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,440 I'm amazed because when he was squeezing the paint out 438 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,760 with his feet, it's like...the passion, 439 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,080 it's like he was giving birth. 440 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,800 But I thought, this is going to be amazing. 441 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,840 The eye...the distinctive eyebrows. Here we go. 442 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,880 I mean, what's that?! No, that's the bottom line, 443 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,880 this is the arts and crafts of... There's no...there's no skill there. 444 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,280 He said you're going to a party, 445 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:13,440 that's why you're wearing your bowtie and your special red party trousers. 446 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,160 LAUGHTER 447 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,800 Who's next? Well, Sarah said "This is a piece of piss. 448 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,360 "There's his little piggy nose," and she did this. 449 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,760 LAUGHTER 450 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,120 Oh, my God. Wow. 451 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,520 Now, that's not bad. That looks like a really mean baby. 452 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,680 There's a l...there's a look of me there. Why...? 453 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,320 Why did you pop the earring in? 454 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,600 I thought you had an earring. Oh. 455 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,280 I thought you had a large, hooped earring. 456 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:35,680 One more to see. 457 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,120 Jamali said it was so good you could take it to a gallery 458 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,640 and sell this shit. Here it is. 459 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,000 LAUGHTER 460 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:43,680 Energy. I like that. 461 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:44,880 Oh, God. 462 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,560 JAMALI: It's what it represents, it's not what it is, you know? 463 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:48,720 And what does it represent? 464 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,360 Below there is your blue aura, 465 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,880 which represents your sort of, like, masculinity. 466 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,520 And then you've got sort of like, 467 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,280 it melds in with the sort of reds, 468 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,520 which represents the passion you have for this game show. 469 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,280 And then you've got the green as well, 470 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,120 which represents your love of nature. 471 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,720 I mean, God, I'm so easily led. I, I.... 472 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,240 I quite like it as a picture. 473 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,160 You've got to rate these five pictures of yourself. 474 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,440 Well, Lee's is a wonderful work of art, 475 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,600 but unfortunately, you didn't paint it with your feet. 476 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,760 He gets a point out of it. Oh. OK. 477 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,960 So one point to Lee Mack. 478 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,800 Um, now, let's all guess who's going to get two points. 479 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,560 It's got to be the It clown. 480 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,360 Course, it's Wozniak's rubbish clown. Mr Blobby. Two points. 481 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,640 Children's TV presenter, three points. Steady three. 482 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,080 Well done, Charlotte. 483 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:33,120 The question is, is it the baby genie that takes four points? 484 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,720 Or am I going to, uh, give five points to Jamali's madness? 485 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,520 Genuinely, hand on heart, 486 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,360 if I wanted people to see an artistic representation of me, 487 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:42,920 I would choose Jamali's. 488 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,560 Five points. There. 489 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,240 Jamali Maddix gets five points. 490 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,720 APPLAUSE 491 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,320 Have you got a scoreboard, please? 492 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,120 I do have a scoreboard. 493 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,640 Lee is not having a lovely episode. 494 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,160 Oh, no. He's on two points. Oh. 495 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,480 I'm having a disaster. 496 00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,520 At the other end, Jamali Maddix is on ten points 497 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,000 and he's in second place in the series. Well done, Jamali. 498 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,320 What? 499 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,480 APPLAUSE 500 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,680 What's next, Alex? 501 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,320 Well, it's a naughty, naughty team task. 502 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,320 DRAMATIC MUSIC 503 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,040 Hi, team. Hi, Al. 504 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,240 Wow. Really cool. Yeah, my one don't fit. 505 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,600 No, I can see that. 506 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,000 Want to read it? No, you can read it. It's fine. Are you sure? 507 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,360 Yeah, no. It's cool. 508 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,400 "Vandalise this wall. 509 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,520 "Most creative vandalism wins." 510 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,520 You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now. 511 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,080 Right. Jacket off for this. 512 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:52,240 The possibilities are endless, the canvas vast. 513 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,080 What will they do? You're going to have to wait to find out. 514 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,920 It's time for a break now, 515 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,400 but is time for a windbreak? 516 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,480 SAD STRING MUSIC 517 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,840 LAUGHTER 518 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,040 APPLAUSE 519 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,600 Hello, welcome back to the third part of tonight's show. 520 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,640 Thanks, Greg. It's good to be back. 521 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,560 We are now one and a half hours into Mike's attempt. 522 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,120 The crew had gone to lunch. 523 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,720 Before the break, vandalism was the name of the game, although, 524 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,000 of course, vandalism is not a game, it's extremely bad 525 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,480 and this is a light entertainment show that would never condone it. 526 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,720 Also, shout out to our excellent lawyers. 527 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,240 Here's how the two teams did trying to achieve the most creative 528 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,960 vandalism of our wall. 529 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,080 So, yeah, I've... Have you got a tag? A sweet tag? A... What's a tag? 530 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:52,160 Tag the graffiti, the sort of signature. 531 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,560 Oh, your signature? Yeah. 532 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,320 Whoa! Yeah. Is it cool if I just start fucking it up? 533 00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:59,000 What about do Alex? We'll draw Alex. 534 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,360 We know that Banksy uses... A stencil? ..a stencil. 535 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,600 Would you be willing to put a mask on and let us spray you 536 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:04,960 to get the outline of your body? 537 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,760 I've got an idea. 538 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,000 Oh! Aww! 539 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,720 Oh, wow, look at you. Sweet as a peach. 540 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,680 Well, we're going to use you as a stencil. 541 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,040 Is that all right? 542 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:16,840 Now, that's just for my own amusement. 543 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,720 Hello, sir. This one, I'm going to put this one... Ooh, right. 544 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,760 Can we set this on fire? Can we get a blowtorch, please? 545 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:33,840 Step away, please. 546 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,440 Yeah, that's... Bad, isn't it? 547 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,080 I think your yellow's good. If you want to fill in these gaps 548 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,520 with yellow, I think your yellows are more...crafty. 549 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,560 I'm quite pleased with that. Very relaxing. 550 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,480 Write his name and then something offensive at the bottom. All right. 551 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,840 I know, what about this, "Alex Horne is a..."? 552 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,400 And then we don't put anything, 553 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:15,000 and we let the passers-by creatively add to it. 554 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,160 Oh! Oh, my God! 555 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,720 Epic! Yeah, it hit me in the dick. 556 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,960 Nice that. Thank you, team. Thank you. 557 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,760 That's my first graffiti. 558 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,400 Done it. WHISTLE 559 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,960 OK, you can go away now. Thanks. 560 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,160 We'd better go before the fuzz get here. 561 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,600 Woo-woo! 562 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,240 Wow. 563 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,880 Talk me through your, uh, two-man system. 564 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,000 We... We just sort of s...started. 565 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,440 The stencil idea appeared and then, we, we were away. 566 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:49,800 We were just channelling after that. 567 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,600 So I became Banksy's Girl with Balloon. 568 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,120 Yeah. 569 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,960 United Kingdom's number one favourite artwork, voted recently. 570 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,440 Can, can I just point out, it was Mike that wrote, "Street tough!" 571 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,520 And not me. I want to disown myself from, "Street tough!" 572 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,920 That was not me. That's my sweet tag. Yeah. 573 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,680 What I like about it is, it's colourful and it pleases 574 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,720 the eye, and it also tells you so much about the men that did it. 575 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,280 Well, do you want to compare that to the team of three? 576 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,640 Yeah, come on, let's see that. This is what they did. 577 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,000 Oh, that's... that's just disgusting. 578 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,280 You went properly Lord Of The Flies, that team did. Yeah, we did. 579 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,720 Cos I think vandalism is true destruction of, of state and property, innit? 580 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,280 So that's what we went for. 581 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:30,960 And is this your slogan? 582 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,760 "Is it OK for me to start fucking it up?" 583 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:36,400 Yeah, cos it's, it's, it's, it's just pure utter destruction 584 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,480 with politeness. Yeah. You know? 585 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:42,200 And the politeness was taking care of by Charlotte. 586 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,480 Guess who? Who, once she'd, uh, 587 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:48,360 knocked a paint-covered ball into your penis, went, "Epic!" 588 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,080 Didn't it feel horrid when I said that? 589 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:55,360 So horrible. "Epic!" And then you said, "S...", no, because... 590 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,480 Yeah, yeah, yeah. ..ow. 591 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,800 And it wasn't like TV, "Oh, no, it hit my dick." 592 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:02,120 No, it hit me straight in the dick. Yeah, actually, what followed was minutes of pain. 593 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,360 It was horrible, yeah. I don't think I can conceptualise 594 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,760 what that feels like, but... That was not nice. ..I'm sorry. 595 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:08,240 It's, it's not cool. 596 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,400 I feel that if you're going to vandalise something, it has to... 597 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,080 I mean, what you guys did was vandalism to the point of, "They're 598 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:15,640 "going to repair that within 24 hours, cos that's just unsightly." 599 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,920 Whereas ours, they have might gone, "Is it art? Is it vandalism? 600 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,080 "Let's keep it up." Yeah. 601 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,320 So our vandalism makes more of a statement for longer. 602 00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:23,840 Bit more Banksy. Yeah, like Banksy, you know. You went far more Banksy. 603 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,360 It's going to be on T-shirts, that thing. 604 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,760 There was only one piece of creative vandalism up there 605 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,280 and it was these two tragic, middle-aged men. 606 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,520 And I'm going to give them five sweet points each. Whoa! 607 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:38,040 These ASBOs, yeah, I'm only giving you this one point 608 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,600 because Charlotte shouted, "Epic!" during it. 609 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,720 So one point to Sarah, one to Jamali, one to Charlotte. 610 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,200 Five to the naughty, creative, middle-aged men. 611 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,560 Yes, please! 612 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,760 All right. One more, please, Alex. 613 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:55,400 Of course, and this really is a first-class task. 614 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:12,400 Hey. Oh. Hi, there, Sarah. Hello. Hey, how's it going? 615 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:15,920 Welcome to First Class. 616 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,120 Hello, Lee. Fall for that. 617 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:21,760 Ooh. 618 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,000 I'm not used to this. 619 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,760 Besides, you know, it's the worth the money, innit? 620 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,160 "Identify the contents of the battered items 621 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,440 "in this fish and chips order." 622 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,200 "You may lick and sniff all of the items." 623 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:37,920 Oh, my God. 624 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,880 "You may bite into two." 625 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:41,600 "You may squeeze one bet... 626 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:42,840 "oh, between your elbows." 627 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,040 Between your elbows? 628 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:45,440 "You may really stamp on one." 629 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,040 "Really stamp." "Really stamp." 630 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:48,680 "Really stamp on one." 631 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,640 Why can't...? "You may stamp on one." 632 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,440 Aye, you've got to really stamp on it. Oh, right. 633 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,920 "You may look at one through a magnifying glass." 634 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,240 "You may put one in a glass of water." 635 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,760 "Most correctly identified items wins. 636 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,760 "You have ten minutes, your time starts now." OK. 637 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,600 Um... 638 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,480 side note - I think I can manage my previous challenge. 639 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,600 And I just scared it off. On a... On a stamping mat? 640 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:10,800 On a stamping mat. 641 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:12,360 Oh, no, scared it off. 642 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,680 I've scared it off. 643 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,080 I got too big for my boots and I announced it. 644 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:21,800 "I've scared it off"? 645 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,080 Yeah, I've just got to wind my neck in sometimes. 646 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,000 Might help you fart, doing that. Yeah. 647 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,880 Right. Pretty clear what we've got to do here. 648 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:34,320 OK, well, we're going to see Mike again and also Sarah Kendall. 649 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,240 Smells of batter. Oh. Smells of batter. 650 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:43,480 Smells of batter. 651 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,680 Well, I can definitely smell batter. 652 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:51,560 That tastes of batter. 653 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,200 Define lick. 654 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,480 To scent something with your tongue. 655 00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,000 I mean, it's tempting to sort of stamp on one a bit. 656 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,800 Not really stamp on it, just sort of, you know... 657 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,080 Why aren't you licking? I see you're licking. 658 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,560 What? Whoa, you licked that one hard. 659 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:09,680 That's grape. 660 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,320 And that was... That was just one big lick, was it? 661 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:13,440 Yeah. 662 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,920 I'm going to stamp on you. Really stamp on it, please. 663 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,480 So we're going to stamp on... 664 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,800 Really stamp. Really stamp, uh... 665 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:20,880 OK, this one. 666 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,000 Well, I really stamped on that. 667 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,160 Egg. 668 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,120 Oh, you prick! 669 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,240 I think it's a boiled egg. 670 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:32,440 Oh. Yeah. 671 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:34,960 Yeah, it's a... 672 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,760 Naked elbows or...? I mean, bare elbows, or what we talking? 673 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:42,800 Oh! 674 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:45,360 Hello. Hello. 675 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,320 So I'm guessing it was a kiwi fruit. 676 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:48,680 It's a kiwi fruit. 677 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:49,880 It's a jam doughnut. 678 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,640 Can I lick that? 679 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,480 Ooh! No, maybe it's a jam tart. 680 00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:57,720 Jammy doughnut. 681 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:06,440 It's a kiwi fruit. 682 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:12,440 HE MUMBLES 683 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,760 Oh, my God. 684 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,560 What the hell is that?! 685 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,320 Hang on, that's a... 686 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,600 Wallet? 687 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,280 Oh, my God. It's a wallet. 688 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,520 It's a wallet. It's a wallet. 689 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,320 SHE SNIFFS Oh! 690 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:39,400 That is the worst smell that I have ever... Is it? 691 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:43,240 Hard to see any identifying features. 692 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,000 I think this might just be a clump of batter. 693 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,040 Doesn't reveal much. 694 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:54,640 Mm, I see your method. 695 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,360 Well, I'm just putting it in the water. 696 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,840 Just like it says in the rules. 697 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:04,880 I have a horrible feeling this is just batter. 698 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,320 And this is... 699 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,520 um... 700 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,200 an uninflated balloon. 701 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,400 That smell inside the wallet, 702 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,320 I don't know how that smell was achieved. 703 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:18,840 I've never smelt anything worse. 704 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,840 I found it fascinating that you said that, the most disgusting smell, 705 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,080 and then went back in for a second smell. Oh, repeatedly! 706 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,840 I was there for about 15 minutes. 707 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,760 Quite a contrast between the two reactions. 708 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,200 Yeah, didn't seem to bother you at all. I've eaten worse. 709 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,200 It's worth pointing out, to anyone who doesn't know, that Mike used to be a doctor. 710 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:38,040 And you had all of the gravitas of a doctor whilst 711 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,880 dropping batter in and out of a pint glass. 712 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,720 That was the old trick, back in the day. Yeah? 713 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,200 Until they flushed me out. Fair enough. 714 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:46,920 I think Mike was a bit confused. When he found the wallet, he thought 715 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,320 everything else would be inedible as well. So he... Yeah. 716 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,320 ..found three and a half things correctly. 717 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,080 Right. Out of the six. 718 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,400 Sarah did better. 719 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,640 What do you want to say about her licking technique? 720 00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:58,240 You were only meant to lick them, 721 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,360 and she inserted her tongue and sort of... Well... 722 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:01,920 ..ripped the batter off it with her tongue. 723 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:03,600 I didn't rip the batter off it with my tongue. 724 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,720 Well, you licked it aggressively. I licked it hard. 725 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,040 You inserted your tongue. 726 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,480 She pushed her tongue through the batter? 727 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,000 Yes, to reveal the grape. 728 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,680 In a licking motion? 729 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,040 Well, she turned her back on us. 730 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,080 Cos I didn't want that on film. 731 00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,760 But I lifted a little bit of batter off whilst licking, 732 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,640 so I did hook my tongue under a little bit of batter to... 733 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,200 But that was still in a licking motion. 734 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,520 Have you got quite a sort of rough, sandpaper tongue? I do have... 735 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:26,720 Like a cat? Mm. 736 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,480 I'm going to let her get away with her aggressive grape lick. OK. 737 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,520 Well, in that case, she got five out of six. 738 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,920 She didn't... Oh, wow. ..correctly identify the pie. OK. Who's next? 739 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:39,280 Well, it's time to see Lee Mack 'n' cheese and Charlotte Rich Tea. 740 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,680 Batter. Yeah, that's batter one. 741 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,240 That, to me, looks like a lemon. 742 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,760 Uh... OK. Didn't help me at all. 743 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:57,080 That's told me nothing, so let's try, um, biting into two. 744 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,120 I call that the non-vegan egg. 745 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,800 I'm going to bite into this one, which feels like such a bad move, 746 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,440 but also, I sort of hope it's a brownie. 747 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,320 If it turns to be like a bit of leather or something... 748 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,840 I don't think you'd do that. It would be... OK. 749 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:20,000 Right. 750 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,640 It's a wallet. 751 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,760 That's a wallet, you weirdo. 752 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,280 I mean, it's a wallet. 753 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,000 So, did you get the message that I'm a vegan? 754 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:35,560 "Yeah, I got a message that you're a vegan. 755 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,920 "It's just egg and a leather wallet." 756 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:40,880 Aw, God. 757 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,080 Kiwi. 758 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,200 Delicious? No. 759 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:47,200 I just got, like, scraps of hair from the outside of it. 760 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:51,640 I'm going to go for jam. 761 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,040 Scrawny, but sharp. 762 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,560 Aww, an egg! 763 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:56,880 Oh, my God! 764 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,160 Oh, that's so unhelpful! 765 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,480 Like, you've got to really stamp on it. 766 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,560 I am really doing it. It's not an illusion. 767 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,880 Well, that's, that's a kiwi fruit, that. 768 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,040 I think that's just batter. 769 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,080 Batter deep-fried in batter. 770 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:14,600 What's the point of that? 771 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,120 Why didn't you say, "You can just look really closely"? 772 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,000 Oh. 773 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,440 Shame that, cos I want to eat that. 774 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,520 And I'm going banana. 775 00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:25,560 What are you? 776 00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:30,440 Oh, no. 777 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,400 Oh. Mm-mm, I didn't bite it, I licked it. 778 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,120 You're...you're licking it, are you? Mm-hm. Internally. 779 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,640 You can lick internally, as long as you don't bite it. 780 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,080 Look, it's all solid. Mm-hm. 781 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:41,960 I'm going to say that's lemon as well. 782 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,120 Two lemons in the end? 783 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:44,440 I'm going to say an eraser. 784 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:45,560 An eraser? 785 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,440 Yeah. No, a razor. 786 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:48,880 Oh, a razor. Yeah. 787 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,080 So a razor blade? 788 00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:51,200 No, no. 789 00:34:51,240 --> 00:34:54,440 Eraser, like a rubber. Eraser. 790 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:55,600 Eraser? Yeah. 791 00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:56,880 Lychee. 792 00:34:58,120 --> 00:34:59,960 Thank you, Lee. You're welcome. 793 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,040 APPLAUSE 794 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,280 We did know that he was a vegan, right? Yes. 795 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,360 I should take some responsibility here. 796 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,680 I thought wallets would be all right. 797 00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:14,880 Yeah, because they're famously nothing to do with animals, are they, leather wallets? 798 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:18,160 Seems unlikely that an animal could be a leather wallet. 799 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:24,000 He puts up a strong argument. 800 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:26,920 I do need to say, it wasn't a leather wallet. 801 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,320 It was a plastic wallet. I mean, egg's clearly not vegan. 802 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,120 Are you responsible for this? 803 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:35,080 I'm so sorry, Lee, about making you eat those foods. 804 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:36,960 I was... Listen, I'm, I'm 99% that, 805 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,360 I'm not the full vegan yet because I keep... 806 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:40,800 I'll, I'll lick a wallet. 807 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:41,920 Yeah. 808 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,240 Charlotte, you were totally on it, you weren't vaguely 809 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,960 phased out by biting into a wallet. No. 810 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,040 I did say, I think, that 811 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,160 there's no way it could be leather. 812 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,680 And then bit immediately into leather. So that was quite... Like a premonition. 813 00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:56,120 She did well, except for thinking we'd hidden two lemons in them... 814 00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,160 Yeah. ..for some reason. So, she got four out of six. 815 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,320 Lee got kiwi, egg, wallet. 816 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,560 There was no jam, lychee or banana, so he got three out of six. 817 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,400 OK. Mm-hm. I'll take that. Right. 818 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:11,720 In the next part, someone will win the episode and then, remember, 819 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,840 it means they've got to take home lots of annoying prizes. 820 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,000 Still, could be worse. Hey, Mike? 821 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:37,720 Hello, Mike. Hello. 822 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,080 The plane has been booked by someone else now. 823 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:41,800 You have to leave the plane. 824 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,360 Lovely. I feel ashamed. Sorry. 825 00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,480 Still time. I'll keep working on it. 826 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:48,960 Hello, and welcome back to the last part of the show, 827 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,200 and never has a nation been so gripped 828 00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:53,440 by one man's battle with his bowels. 829 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:54,560 Will he succeed? 830 00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,440 Is this what will make Mike Wozniak a household name? 831 00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,080 Will his efforts bring our broken nation back together? 832 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,120 Only time will tell. But, for now, there's a task to complete. 833 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,240 Yes, there is. A first-class deep fat frying mystery task. 834 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,480 They've got to work out what's inside the batter, 835 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,440 but with limited access to the interiors. 836 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:12,560 We've seen everyone assault our battering, 837 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,000 bar one, and his name is Jamali. 838 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,880 I'm going to stamp on this one. 839 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:19,840 You have to really stamp on it, Jamali. 840 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:28,760 A wallet? 841 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,440 Oh, it's got a receipt. 842 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:31,920 It's a wallet with a receipt. 843 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,120 Ooh, here we go. 844 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:35,520 In the batter, there's a... 845 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:37,400 An apple and blackberry pie, 846 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,760 a boiled egg, kiwi fruit, 847 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,040 a grape - individual - and a wallet. 848 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:43,840 That's what's in all of these. 849 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,640 There's one extra item, I think, there. 850 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,280 Batter. Oh. In the batter? 851 00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:49,840 Yeah. There's batter in the batter. 852 00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:51,760 Thank you, Jamali. All right, bro. 853 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,520 LAUGHTER 854 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,440 Ooh. Bravo! That is incredible. 855 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,800 Absolutely knocked it out of the park. 856 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:01,760 I've been pretending I've never seen this show. 857 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,080 I'm a big fan of the show and I know... 858 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,640 This is where you revealed yourself. 859 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,120 This is where I revealed I'm actually a huge fan of the show. 860 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:09,520 Did you think that was the task? 861 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,360 To just open the wallet and then crack on? 862 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,720 No, I realised I found the short cut, but it's just, like, 863 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,400 if I see a wallet, if I see something, 864 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:16,560 I just feel to open it 865 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,960 because I feel like it's going to be some message inside. 866 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,720 Amazing gameplay. He just takes it. 867 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,160 Jamali gets the full five points. 868 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,480 Sarah came next, she gets four, 869 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,320 Charlotte, three, Mike, two, 870 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,080 Lee just the one. HE SIGHS 871 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,320 But next... But mainly, it's five points to Jamali Maddix. 872 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,240 At this stage, we normally do the final task. Yeah. 873 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,040 But we're going to have one last Mike check. 874 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,320 Ooh, a little farty party, yeah? 875 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,440 Here we go. 876 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,120 You can go and clean yourself off, if you want. Thanks, Alex. 877 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,840 Any... Nothing else you're able to do at this stage? 878 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,320 Well, in fact, I mean, maybe if I had a moment. 879 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:52,120 It could... It could... It could... 880 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:53,760 Could do, if something happens. 881 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,120 I mean, it must be possible, right? 882 00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:58,960 What changed? What changed? 883 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:02,920 That was an excellent, real effort. 884 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:11,760 SQUISH! 885 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:15,600 Hear that? It was a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny little pop. 886 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,080 I've stopped the clock. Wow. 887 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:19,440 Not very satisfying. 888 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:20,880 Yeah, quite a long wait for that. 889 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,720 And I think I probably need to check myself. 890 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,520 Anyway, so, I'll see you later? 891 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,200 THEY LAUGH 892 00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:29,960 Please, tell me you put a sound effect, 893 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,880 or is that the genuine noise? That's the genuine noise. That's the... 894 00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:35,160 It's one of the worst things I've ever heard in my life. 895 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,600 I can talk you through what I think happened, if you want. 896 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,600 Well, I-I... It's not... It's not pleasant. 897 00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,000 I... I don't need you to, cos you've clearly shat yourself. 898 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:43,400 THEY LAUGH 899 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,000 That's what I thought. 900 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:46,760 There was a passage of air, 901 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:50,720 so, uh, like the flatus had gone through... Task, tick. 902 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,120 What in... What in fact I'd done is I'd, uh, dislodged 903 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,320 a haemorrhoid that had been, uh... 904 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,960 Aw, god. ..sat there for quite a long time. Oh, my God! 905 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,960 That's... That's what you're hearing. Oh, God. 906 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,680 You're hearing that moving through my anal canal. 907 00:40:03,720 --> 00:40:05,200 THEY LAUGH 908 00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:07,360 And, uh... That's a haemorrhoid popping out? 909 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,680 And back out into the outside in full bloom. 910 00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:12,840 It's still flapping about to this day. 911 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,400 You... It's still loose? 912 00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:16,520 Oh, it's an absolute casserole down there. 913 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,600 THEY LAUGH Oh, my God! 914 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:24,640 Oh, my gosh. 915 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,720 Awful. But you get a task, you do the task. 916 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:32,600 No matter the price. Oh, my God. 917 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,120 Also, Greg, when he does it, you must've been aware something 918 00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,880 had come out, but still were so happy that you'd achieved the task. 919 00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:39,000 His little face! 920 00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,440 Just have a look at his little face. Yeah, let's have a look. 921 00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,040 SQUISH! 922 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:44,480 THEY LAUGH 923 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:47,240 It's so counterintuitive, isn't it? 924 00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:49,960 Cos in any other situation, you'd go, "I hope no-one heard that." 925 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,240 And it's the complete opposite. "Did you get it?" 926 00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:53,600 THEY LAUGH 927 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:55,960 Um, Greg, do you want to give him a point at all? 928 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,640 Gee, we've got to give him something. 929 00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,080 I mean, his family aren't staying around after that. 930 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,040 No-one's going to begrudge him a bonus point. 931 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:04,760 How many are we giving him? No. Oh, no. Just one. One, OK. 932 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,240 Yeah, one per haemorrhoid is fine. 933 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,960 OK, so one haemorrhoid and one point... Yeah. ..to Mike Wozniak. 934 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,840 Yeah. Thank you. 935 00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:12,800 Right, let's have a glance at the scores. OK. 936 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,560 As if anything matters any more. 937 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:18,000 In terms of the series, that point, I think he will agree, was worth it. 938 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:20,320 Mike's now in second place. Right. 939 00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,280 We've got Sarah on 103, Mike on 84, Jamali 83, 940 00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:27,080 Lee slipped back into second last with 78, Charlotte on 67! 941 00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:28,480 Wahey! 942 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,560 In this episode, we have joint second place. 943 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,920 That's Sarah and Mike with 13, but the leader is Jamali. 944 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:39,400 He's not won an episode yet, but he's on 16 points! Romping ahead. 945 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:40,840 All right, everyone. 946 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:44,040 Please, make your way to the stage for the final task of the show. 947 00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,800 Hi, everyone. Hello. Who's going to read it? 948 00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:53,760 I'd like Jamali Maddix to read the task, please. 949 00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:54,840 Very good. 950 00:41:55,920 --> 00:42:00,120 "Tie the very ends of the string to the arms of the glasses, 951 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,640 "then put the glasses on. Fastest wins." 952 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,600 Simple task. You've got a padlock there with four numbers. 953 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:07,880 You've got to crack the code. 954 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:09,680 Good luck. So it's fastest wins. 955 00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:11,000 Your time starts... 956 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:12,640 WHISTLE BLOWS 957 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,000 The Taskmaster may give you a clue. 958 00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,400 Could you give us a clue, please, Taskmaster? 959 00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:28,600 MCMLXVIII. 960 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,320 He loves his Roman numerals. Always has done. 961 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:34,560 Hey, could you put that in a sum for me, Greg? 962 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,880 Certainly. 123 times 16. 963 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,680 Oh. Is that real, or are you joking? 964 00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:42,880 123 times 16? Just double it. 965 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,760 Double it, double it, and double it again. 966 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,640 Oh, shut up. Sorry? What? Pardon? 967 00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:48,480 Double it, double it, and double it again? 968 00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,280 If you want. 123 times 16? Yep. 969 00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:52,760 What's your favourite film, Greg? 970 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,040 Planet of the Apes. 971 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,000 I remember the year when that was released. 972 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:57,640 Well, what year was it released? 973 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:01,600 So the, the 123 ti... 974 00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:03,720 What? Times 16. 123 times 16? 975 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:07,720 The year I was born. 976 00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:12,720 The year you were born? 977 00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:13,960 BALLOON SQUEAKS 978 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,520 You were born the same year as Lee, weren't you? I was. 979 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:19,920 That was handy. 980 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,640 I don't know how to do maths. 981 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,080 LAUGHTER 982 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:30,400 HE GRUNTS 983 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:31,880 I'm 52. 984 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:34,680 So, let's go back. 2010... 985 00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:37,000 Only two people have opened their boxes. 986 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:38,800 Well, I can't remember the end now. 987 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,160 Is that the end? 988 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:42,200 Yes, we have one completed person. 989 00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:43,960 APPLAUSE 990 00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:53,880 Oh-ho! Oh! 991 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,400 Oh, no. oh, the violence. 992 00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:00,680 You've... You've broke it. It's off, it's off. 993 00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:04,120 Wow. Mike, can you finish the task? 994 00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:05,400 I think so. 995 00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:11,360 The very ends of the string, please. 996 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:12,760 The ends of the string, is it? 997 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:14,840 The task is tie the very ends of the string. 998 00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,120 Good stuff. Good stuff. 999 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,200 It is quite exciting over here. It's Charlotte versus Jamali here. 1000 00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:22,800 It's whoever can find the other end of the string first. 1001 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:24,760 It's the string. You're there. 1002 00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,240 Do me a favour, guys. 1003 00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,080 APPLAUSE 1004 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,000 Ooh. Oh. Oh, cool as a cucumber. 1005 00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:34,280 WHISTLE BLOWS And we have five completed tasks. 1006 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,560 Different methods. Points for everyone. 1007 00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,520 Come down here, and we'll see how that's affected the final score. 1008 00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:40,960 APPLAUSE 1009 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:46,000 Hi, there! They cracked the code, they tied the string to the glasses. 1010 00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:47,560 They did indeed. And? 1011 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,480 And Lee Mack did it fastest. 1012 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,000 He did? Don't sound so surprised. Lee gets five points. 1013 00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:53,840 The slowest was Jamali, then Charlotte, 1014 00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:56,600 Sarah gets three points, but Mike Wozniak gets four points. 1015 00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:58,400 Which means... Oh! Ooh. 1016 00:44:58,440 --> 00:44:59,680 He was in the lead. 1017 00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:01,680 Jamali is still in the lead, but with Mike. 1018 00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:03,280 They've both got 17 points! 1019 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,720 ALL: Ooh! 1020 00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:08,080 Tie break. Tie break! 1021 00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:10,880 Ooh. How are we going to find out a winner, Alex? 1022 00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,200 Yes, it's with a TIE BREAK, Greg. 1023 00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:17,120 It's a tie break, and one in which I was a big, brave boy 1024 00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:19,280 because they had to fire as many rubber bands 1025 00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,920 as possible into my dangerously positioned bum bag. 1026 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,800 They had two minutes, so here's how they got on. 1027 00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,480 Aw, shit. All right, well... 1028 00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,160 No, that went the wrong way. 1029 00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,560 No. Sorry. Ooh. Quite powerful. 1030 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,080 Ooh. 1031 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:40,240 Aw. Not a single one so far, I'm afraid. 1032 00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:41,440 All right, OK. 1033 00:45:45,240 --> 00:45:47,680 Things are getting worse rather than better. 1034 00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:48,880 Oh, I got one in! 1035 00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:52,600 WHISTLE BLOWS Thanks. You can leave now. 1036 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:55,600 OK. See you later. See you. 1037 00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,440 Yes, two excellent flingers, Greg. There's no doubt about that. 1038 00:45:58,480 --> 00:45:59,840 But it wasn't close. Yeah. 1039 00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:01,960 Mike got one rubber band into my bum bag. 1040 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:03,600 Jamali got seven. 1041 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,600 There it is. Jamali Maddix wins. CHEERING 1042 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:11,440 Please, go and annoy yourself with your annoying things. 1043 00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,320 Yay! 1044 00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,360 So, what have we learned today? 1045 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,400 As if you don't know. 1046 00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:20,080 This is what we've learned today. 1047 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:23,120 SQUISH! 1048 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:28,680 See you again soon. For now, though, here's tonight's winner once more. 1049 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:30,480 Jamali Maddix! 1050 00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:32,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1051 00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,920 Subtitles by Red Bee Media