1
00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:05,314
This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,955
Taskmaster was recorded
in accordance with all
3
00:00:07,980 --> 00:00:11,395
social distancing guidelines in
place at the time of filming.
4
00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:13,364
Yow! I just need to read that again.
5
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:25,434
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
6
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:32,925
Hello!
7
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,515
Welcome to Taskmaster.
8
00:00:34,540 --> 00:00:35,645
My name's Greg Davies.
9
00:00:35,670 --> 00:00:38,755
I am yourjudge
and you are in clown court.
10
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:41,155
I shall review crimes
against entertainment
11
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:43,484
that five comedians carried out
over many months,
12
00:00:43,509 --> 00:00:44,795
and pass judgment.
13
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:47,205
As the Samoan hip-hop crew
Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E.
14
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:48,725
once so wisely said,
15
00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:52,364
"Deathrow, my bro, had to go,
life was too slow."
16
00:00:52,389 --> 00:00:54,005
For the winner, a pardon
17
00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:58,364
and a life of television freedom
with my beautiful golden trophy.
18
00:00:58,389 --> 00:00:59,675
For the losers, well,
19
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:02,285
I guess it's back to teaching
or whatever.
20
00:01:02,310 --> 00:01:04,285
Let's meet our comedy convicts.
21
00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:06,085
The usual suspects are
22
00:01:06,110 --> 00:01:08,364
Charlotte Ritchie,
23
00:01:08,389 --> 00:01:09,925
Jamali Maddix,
24
00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:11,395
Lee Mack... Thank you.
25
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:12,875
...Mike Wozniak,
26
00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:15,205
and Sarah Kendall.
27
00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:18,234
And to my left,
a man whose wife once told me
28
00:01:18,259 --> 00:01:20,755
she keeps a pocket full of treats
to reward him
29
00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:23,234
when he remembers to do
toilet outside.
30
00:01:23,259 --> 00:01:25,234
It's little Alex Horne.
31
00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:27,955
Yep.
32
00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:30,285
Hi, guys.
33
00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:32,645
I think you'll be pleased with me
today. I doubt it.
34
00:01:32,670 --> 00:01:35,395
I've prepared something for you.
I've invented a new snack... Yeah.
35
00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:36,564
...which I think you'll like.
36
00:01:36,589 --> 00:01:38,005
It's called a...
37
00:01:38,030 --> 00:01:39,875
...Brown Bar.
38
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,835
Look at that. Oh. It's got all
your favourite things.
39
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:45,005
Do you want me to break it open?
You can see the layers. Yeah. OK.
40
00:01:45,030 --> 00:01:47,285
Ooh! So it's a layer of chocolate,
41
00:01:47,310 --> 00:01:48,444
then it's biscuit,
42
00:01:48,469 --> 00:01:49,875
there's a massive slab of butter,
43
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,595
salami and ganache.
44
00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:55,395
Salami? Salami and ganache. OK.
45
00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:57,395
Would you like to try some?
No, I wouldn't actually.
46
00:01:57,420 --> 00:01:59,755
But I'd like you to.
I'll taste it for you. Yeah.
47
00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:01,314
Don't you want to eat the bit
with a lot in it though?
48
00:02:01,339 --> 00:02:03,645
Cos right now, you're just eating
the outer shell of chocolate.
49
00:02:03,670 --> 00:02:04,835
Sorry, Jamali, just so you know,
50
00:02:04,860 --> 00:02:07,234
he's gonna eat it all. Oh, OK.
51
00:02:07,259 --> 00:02:09,258
OK. That's backfired, hasn't it?
52
00:02:09,283 --> 00:02:11,573
I won't start the show
until you've eaten all of that.
53
00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:14,263
The deal was I was gonna try
a little bit. Yes. Yes.
54
00:02:14,288 --> 00:02:16,653
Pop it all back, otherwise
I won't start the show.
55
00:02:19,478 --> 00:02:20,623
Oh, good boy.
56
00:02:20,648 --> 00:02:23,063
So gross.
It's so buttery. Yeah.
57
00:02:23,088 --> 00:02:24,493
CHARLOTTE: In a good way? No.
58
00:02:26,758 --> 00:02:29,013
Ah, good boy.
59
00:02:29,038 --> 00:02:30,422
APPLAUSE
60
00:02:32,728 --> 00:02:36,172
Let's have the prize task, shall we,
salami boy?
61
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,493
What are we waiting for? Oh...
62
00:02:37,518 --> 00:02:41,453
Oh, God, it is sickening, isn't it?
Oh, no.
63
00:02:41,478 --> 00:02:42,983
OK, I'm all good.
64
00:02:43,008 --> 00:02:45,292
And this week's category
is the best thing
65
00:02:45,317 --> 00:02:46,983
you can operate with your hand.
66
00:02:47,008 --> 00:02:48,783
Ooh. Greg will listen, have a think,
67
00:02:48,808 --> 00:02:50,703
and then judge who's done best,
68
00:02:50,728 --> 00:02:53,342
in his firm, subtle
and muscular way.
69
00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:55,063
Five large points
will go to the person
70
00:02:55,088 --> 00:02:57,373
that brought in the best thing that
you can operate with your hand
71
00:02:57,398 --> 00:02:58,573
and then at the end of the episode,
72
00:02:58,598 --> 00:03:00,933
the person with the most points
will take home five things
73
00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:04,373
they can operate manually
and try very hard to avoid an RSI.
74
00:03:04,398 --> 00:03:06,263
OK, Lee, what's the best thing
you've brought in
75
00:03:06,288 --> 00:03:07,733
that you can operate with your hand?
76
00:03:07,758 --> 00:03:10,342
F
77
00:03:10,367 --> 00:03:12,983
Ooh.
78
00:03:13,008 --> 00:03:15,373
É
79
00:03:15,398 --> 00:03:17,933
I've got a picture of it,
but we can see it in your hand.
80
00:03:17,958 --> 00:03:19,983
É
81
00:03:20,008 --> 00:03:22,933
é
82
00:03:22,958 --> 00:03:24,503
F
83
00:03:24,528 --> 00:03:26,013
F
84
00:03:26,038 --> 00:03:27,573
F
85
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:30,903
é
86
00:03:30,928 --> 00:03:32,623
F
87
00:03:32,648 --> 00:03:33,813
F
88
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,292
DESCENDING WHISTLE
89
00:03:35,317 --> 00:03:37,623
F
90
00:03:37,648 --> 00:03:38,703
F
91
00:03:38,728 --> 00:03:40,703
ASCENDING WHISTLE
92
00:03:40,728 --> 00:03:42,453
é
93
00:03:42,478 --> 00:03:44,422
é
94
00:03:44,447 --> 00:03:46,863
é
95
00:03:46,888 --> 00:03:48,263
DESCENDING WHISTLE
96
00:03:48,288 --> 00:03:50,573
£
97
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,013
You know what, Lee? It's far more
entertaining than I imagined.
98
00:03:53,038 --> 00:03:54,653
Well done.
99
00:03:54,678 --> 00:03:56,933
Charlotte, can you beat Lee's, um...
100
00:03:56,958 --> 00:03:58,653
No. ..whistle?
101
00:03:58,678 --> 00:04:02,422
The thing that I think is best is
my drill. Oh.
102
00:04:02,447 --> 00:04:04,783
Yeah, shall we move on?
103
00:04:04,808 --> 00:04:06,292
No, go on.
104
00:04:06,317 --> 00:04:07,503
Here's her drill.
105
00:04:07,528 --> 00:04:09,813
You can screw things in,
you can unscrew things,
106
00:04:09,838 --> 00:04:12,092
you can drill things in, you can...
107
00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:13,292
...drill other things in.
108
00:04:13,317 --> 00:04:16,222
You can't just bring household items
in. I genuinely thought...
109
00:04:16,247 --> 00:04:18,533
Ancl say, "This is the thing
I like, a drill."
110
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:19,983
It's an absolute outrage.
111
00:04:20,008 --> 00:04:22,342
It is a good thing that you can
operate with your hand. Mm.
112
00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:23,893
É
113
00:04:23,918 --> 00:04:25,292
OK, well, if that's you all think,
114
00:04:25,317 --> 00:04:27,813
I'll give Charlotte five points,
shaul?
115
00:04:27,838 --> 00:04:29,503
Yes. Absolutely. Five points.
116
00:04:29,528 --> 00:04:32,222
Perhaps some people in here have
learnt a lesson. Who's next?
117
00:04:32,247 --> 00:04:36,583
Jamali. I handmade from
repurposed materials,
118
00:04:36,608 --> 00:04:38,943
like CD players and stuff,
119
00:04:38,968 --> 00:04:41,302
I made a tattoo gun.
120
00:04:41,327 --> 00:04:42,813
There it is. Oh, wow! Wow. Wow.
121
00:04:42,838 --> 00:04:45,703
So I made that myself.
So that's like wired to the battery.
122
00:04:45,728 --> 00:04:47,302
I repurposed a pen,
123
00:04:47,327 --> 00:04:49,373
I used a toothbrush as the bar.
124
00:04:49,398 --> 00:04:51,893
I can confirm it's a fully working
tattoo gun. It does... Have you?
125
00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:53,422
Yeah, yeah, I've done it on myself.
126
00:04:53,447 --> 00:04:55,253
You've tattooed yourself?
127
00:04:55,278 --> 00:04:57,863
Yeah, it's on my thigh, I can't pull
down my trousers but...
128
00:04:57,888 --> 00:05:00,143
You could.
He's got his Swanee whistle.
129
00:05:01,117 --> 00:05:03,453
We have to say, we can't endorse
this or encourage people
130
00:05:03,478 --> 00:05:05,172
to make tattoo guns
because it's dangerous.
131
00:05:05,197 --> 00:05:06,373
I'm genuinely impressed.
132
00:05:06,398 --> 00:05:10,813
You should've just used Charlotte's
method and just brought in a spoon.
133
00:05:10,838 --> 00:05:11,983
Mike.
134
00:05:12,008 --> 00:05:13,703
I've brought a thumb,
135
00:05:13,728 --> 00:05:17,302
which has got universal uses for...
136
00:05:17,327 --> 00:05:18,783
...buttons, switches.
137
00:05:18,808 --> 00:05:20,253
Here is Mike's thumb.
138
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,613
Additional thumb. It's not
an additional thumb, is it?
139
00:05:22,638 --> 00:05:24,972
If you've already got a thumb,
you can put it on top of your thumb.
140
00:05:24,997 --> 00:05:27,342
If you don't, you can put it there
instead of your thumb.
141
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:28,733
But it's a thumb sheath really,
isn't it?
142
00:05:28,758 --> 00:05:30,703
Well, it's a thumb. It's a...
You know, sure.
143
00:05:30,728 --> 00:05:33,422
One man's thumb sheath
is another person's thumb.
144
00:05:36,558 --> 00:05:39,143
I think so.
145
00:05:39,168 --> 00:05:41,943
Outside of popping it over
an existing thumb... Yeah.
146
00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:44,342
...can you tell me
what you'd use it for?
147
00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:45,703
Buying some braces. Right.
148
00:05:45,728 --> 00:05:47,733
If you've got a Swanee whistler
as a mate going about,
149
00:05:47,758 --> 00:05:49,453
you could be in your braces,
you'd do this.
150
00:05:49,478 --> 00:05:52,583
DESCENDING WHISTLE But
you've already two thumbs to do that.
151
00:05:52,608 --> 00:05:55,092
OK.
152
00:05:55,117 --> 00:05:56,703
É
153
00:05:56,728 --> 00:05:58,503
Oh, thank you, Lee.
154
00:05:58,528 --> 00:06:01,302
Honest to God, I want
to give that man all your points.
155
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:02,783
I wouldn't contest that.
156
00:06:02,808 --> 00:06:04,302
One left, Greg. Sarah.
157
00:06:04,327 --> 00:06:05,783
Phew!
158
00:06:05,808 --> 00:06:07,613
É
159
00:06:07,638 --> 00:06:09,383
£
160
00:06:09,408 --> 00:06:11,733
F
161
00:06:11,758 --> 00:06:14,092
Is it sore
when you're doing the old...?
162
00:06:14,117 --> 00:06:16,972
Yeah.
163
00:06:16,997 --> 00:06:19,302
I used to find that, yeah, as well.
Yeah.
164
00:06:19,327 --> 00:06:20,453
F
165
00:06:20,478 --> 00:06:22,783
Well, I've got something
I'll show you later.
166
00:06:22,808 --> 00:06:24,422
£
167
00:06:24,447 --> 00:06:26,743
So she has submitted her
genuine bass guitar.
168
00:06:26,768 --> 00:06:29,063
It looks like this. Oh, nice.
169
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:32,783
Do you ever whip it out,
over your shoulder,
170
00:06:32,808 --> 00:06:34,783
and then say out loud,
171
00:06:34,808 --> 00:06:36,383
"Let's take this dog for a walk?"
172
00:06:38,838 --> 00:06:41,422
You need to.
173
00:06:41,447 --> 00:06:43,092
Points then, Greg, please.
174
00:06:43,117 --> 00:06:45,092
I'm sorry, even though I rashly said
175
00:06:45,117 --> 00:06:47,583
I was gonna give her five points,
I'm not. Ah.
176
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:49,893
You can't swan in here with
a drill and go, "That'll do."
177
00:06:49,918 --> 00:06:51,863
No. One point, Charlotte.
178
00:06:51,888 --> 00:06:54,783
Now, two points go to Sarah's bass.
179
00:06:54,808 --> 00:06:56,783
Ooh! Didn't see that coming.
180
00:06:56,808 --> 00:06:59,172
Three points, unbelievably,
for Mike's thumb.
181
00:06:59,197 --> 00:07:01,533
For a little, tiny bit of plastic,
he gets three points. Yeah.
182
00:07:01,558 --> 00:07:03,333
But I didn't realise
there's so many uses. OK.
183
00:07:03,358 --> 00:07:05,663
Now, we're up to the
real money points here.
184
00:07:05,688 --> 00:07:06,893
It's Jamali or Lee.
185
00:07:06,918 --> 00:07:09,743
I'm gonna give it to ingenuity.
Five points.
186
00:07:09,768 --> 00:07:11,172
Four points to...
187
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:13,743
é
188
00:07:13,768 --> 00:07:15,253
...to old vaudeville over there.
189
00:07:15,278 --> 00:07:18,533
Five points to Jamali Maddix.
Yeah, there it is.
190
00:07:18,558 --> 00:07:19,893
OK, we're off.
191
00:07:19,918 --> 00:07:23,422
We are indeed. And this task is
all about my favourite film -
192
00:07:23,447 --> 00:07:24,463
cUng.
193
00:07:37,097 --> 00:07:39,523
Hello, Charlotte. Hiya.
194
00:07:39,548 --> 00:07:40,913
Is that how you walk?
195
00:07:40,938 --> 00:07:42,192
A
196
00:07:42,217 --> 00:07:44,523
I know.
197
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:46,072
Yeah.
198
00:07:46,097 --> 00:07:48,072
HE SIGHS
199
00:07:48,097 --> 00:07:49,322
I don't like the look of this.
200
00:07:49,347 --> 00:07:51,803
There's tape and there's cellophane.
201
00:07:55,097 --> 00:07:58,163
F
202
00:07:58,188 --> 00:08:00,553
"..and gaffer tape so that
no part of your lower half
203
00:08:00,578 --> 00:08:03,353
"isn't covered in biodegradable
clingfilm and gaffer tape."
204
00:08:03,378 --> 00:08:04,523
F
205
00:08:05,868 --> 00:08:06,963
F
206
00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:08,122
F
207
00:08:08,147 --> 00:08:11,202
Did you have to put like
"biodegradable" for...?
208
00:08:11,227 --> 00:08:13,763
Yes, just so people know this
programme is very responsible. Yeah.
209
00:08:13,788 --> 00:08:15,633
We don't waste anything.
210
00:08:15,658 --> 00:08:17,992
OK. Very responsible programme,
this. Mm-hm.
211
00:08:18,017 --> 00:08:21,242
So, covered completely with
biodegradable clingfilm
212
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,713
AND gaffer tape.
213
00:08:22,738 --> 00:08:24,012
It says, "Cover your lower half
214
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,883
"in biodegradable clingfilm
and gaffer tape."
215
00:08:25,908 --> 00:08:27,843
OK.
216
00:08:27,868 --> 00:08:29,403
OK, well, first, we're gonna see
217
00:08:29,428 --> 00:08:32,163
eight of our ten legs being covered.
218
00:08:32,188 --> 00:08:34,483
Off we go.
219
00:08:34,508 --> 00:08:37,353
But then the slight concern
is the phrasing.
220
00:08:37,378 --> 00:08:39,713
Literally every bit of me
in clingfilm
221
00:08:39,738 --> 00:08:43,242
and also literally every bit of me
in gaffer tape.
222
00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:44,353
That's my concern.
223
00:08:44,378 --> 00:08:46,043
É
224
00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:47,763
All the information is on the task.
225
00:08:49,347 --> 00:08:50,923
F
226
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,202
I genuinely feel like
I've done this before.
227
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,763
F
228
00:08:57,788 --> 00:09:00,122
What's that?
229
00:09:00,147 --> 00:09:01,992
Who knew it was gonna be the feet
that were so difficult?
230
00:09:02,017 --> 00:09:03,353
Q
231
00:09:03,378 --> 00:09:05,713
Ooh. It's like a pencil skirt.
232
00:09:05,738 --> 00:09:07,202
Q
233
00:09:08,378 --> 00:09:09,883
I've never been especially bendy.
234
00:09:11,178 --> 00:09:13,763
F
235
00:09:13,788 --> 00:09:15,153
F
236
00:09:15,178 --> 00:09:16,923
é
237
00:09:16,948 --> 00:09:19,403
Mm-hm.
238
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,283
F
239
00:09:21,308 --> 00:09:24,283
Starting at the feet this time.
240
00:09:24,308 --> 00:09:27,483
MIKE:
241
00:09:27,508 --> 00:09:28,563
é
242
00:09:29,818 --> 00:09:30,923
Under we go.
243
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:36,322
F
244
00:09:36,347 --> 00:09:38,683
Well, I was imagining it was
clingfilm and gaffer tape
245
00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,283
as a combination.
You don't have to...
246
00:09:40,308 --> 00:09:41,793
£
247
00:09:41,818 --> 00:09:44,683
é
248
00:09:44,708 --> 00:09:46,563
OK.
249
00:09:46,588 --> 00:09:47,793
F
250
00:09:47,818 --> 00:09:50,122
é
251
00:09:50,147 --> 00:09:51,122
F
252
00:09:51,147 --> 00:09:53,563
é
253
00:09:53,588 --> 00:09:55,043
Right.
254
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,713
Finished? Yeah. Great.
255
00:10:05,178 --> 00:10:06,202
OK. Oh.
256
00:10:07,628 --> 00:10:09,072
OK.
257
00:10:09,097 --> 00:10:12,002
F
258
00:10:12,027 --> 00:10:13,563
I feel like a mermaid.
259
00:10:13,588 --> 00:10:15,122
There we go, then. No!
260
00:10:17,027 --> 00:10:18,002
Good luck.
261
00:10:19,277 --> 00:10:20,252
Oh, no.
262
00:10:21,628 --> 00:10:24,322
É
263
00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:26,122
There's the task.
Thank you, Lee. Good luck.
264
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:27,353
F
265
00:10:29,708 --> 00:10:31,643
"Put on the captain's hat."
266
00:10:31,668 --> 00:10:34,122
%
267
00:10:34,147 --> 00:10:36,843
"Your lower half must be completely
covered in biodegradable clingfilm
268
00:10:36,868 --> 00:10:39,202
"and gaffer tape when
you're wearing the captain's hat."
269
00:10:39,227 --> 00:10:41,563
é
270
00:10:41,588 --> 00:10:42,763
Captain's hat.
271
00:10:44,508 --> 00:10:45,923
Where's that hat, then?
272
00:10:50,897 --> 00:10:53,763
Well, most aesthetically
pleasing was yours.
273
00:10:53,788 --> 00:10:55,002
Oh, you liked that? Yeah.
274
00:10:55,027 --> 00:10:57,483
Cos I was thinking I preferred
the block colour that Mike went for.
275
00:10:57,508 --> 00:10:59,122
It was a lot more flattering.
No, no,
276
00:10:59,147 --> 00:11:01,153
cos as soon as I heard it I thought,
277
00:11:01,178 --> 00:11:03,513
"I hope that they don't totally
cover themselves
278
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,363
"in clingfilm AND gaffer tape."
Right, right.
279
00:11:05,388 --> 00:11:07,763
"I hope that they mix
and match it creatively..." Yeah.
280
00:11:07,788 --> 00:11:09,002
"..With a nice pattern."
281
00:11:09,027 --> 00:11:11,793
Oh, that's all right then.
I don't know.
282
00:11:11,818 --> 00:11:13,763
F
283
00:11:13,788 --> 00:11:14,843
"Cover your lower half
284
00:11:14,868 --> 00:11:17,202
"in biodegradable clingfilm
and gaffer tape."
285
00:11:17,227 --> 00:11:19,563
There's an and. And. And.
286
00:11:19,588 --> 00:11:21,043
I mean, her legs were
completely covered
287
00:11:21,068 --> 00:11:22,332
with clingfilm and gaffer tape.
288
00:11:22,357 --> 00:11:24,723
Yeah.
289
00:11:24,748 --> 00:11:25,872
F
290
00:11:25,897 --> 00:11:28,613
I didn't expect people to completely
cover it with both, but I can see...
291
00:11:28,638 --> 00:11:30,973
é
292
00:11:30,998 --> 00:11:33,332
F
293
00:11:33,357 --> 00:11:35,043
Why am I not allowed
thinking time suddenly?
294
00:11:35,068 --> 00:11:36,433
É
295
00:11:36,458 --> 00:11:39,043
I've given you the logic.
296
00:11:39,068 --> 00:11:41,513
I'd say the wording's always
open to interpretation.
297
00:11:41,538 --> 00:11:44,613
Mike interpreted it exactly
the same way as you.
298
00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:46,202
Charlotte... Yeah.
299
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:48,122
...you said, "I feel like I've done
this before,"
300
00:11:48,147 --> 00:11:49,403
and I was fascinated by that.
301
00:11:49,428 --> 00:11:52,153
Yes, me too. As soon as the
clingfilm wrapped round I was like,
302
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,513
"OK, yeah. This feels...
303
00:11:54,538 --> 00:11:56,872
"This feels right
and it feels familiar."
304
00:11:56,897 --> 00:11:59,233
Jamali has been separated
from the pack, I see.
305
00:11:59,258 --> 00:12:00,643
Yes.
306
00:12:00,668 --> 00:12:03,022
Do you wanna see Jamali?
Yes, please. Here he is.
307
00:12:16,098 --> 00:12:17,463
I'm happy with that. OK.
308
00:12:21,528 --> 00:12:24,073
F
309
00:12:24,098 --> 00:12:26,022
It didn't occur to one other person
310
00:12:26,047 --> 00:12:28,583
that you could make yourself
some trousers out of that.
311
00:12:28,608 --> 00:12:30,503
Jamali, I'm incredibly impressed.
Yeah.
312
00:12:30,528 --> 00:12:32,892
I mean, we haven't actually
reached the meat of the task yet,
313
00:12:32,917 --> 00:12:34,663
so we don't know who's done best.
No.
314
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,463
None of this was really relevant,
315
00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:39,303
unless you're banning people for not
being entirely covered in both.
316
00:12:39,328 --> 00:12:41,583
Well.
317
00:12:43,278 --> 00:12:45,073
Break time now, but hurry back -
318
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,352
some comedians are about
to hurt themselves.
319
00:12:56,917 --> 00:12:59,503
Hello, and welcome back to
Taskmaster. Is it race time?
320
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,453
Well, the athletes are ready.
321
00:13:01,478 --> 00:13:03,813
They've prepared by strapping their
legs up with tape
322
00:13:03,838 --> 00:13:07,092
and clingfilm to make one big leg,
apart from Jamali, who
323
00:13:07,117 --> 00:13:09,813
strapped each leg separately like a
very clever boy.
324
00:13:09,838 --> 00:13:12,092
They're under starter's orders.
325
00:13:12,117 --> 00:13:13,693
Here we go!
326
00:13:13,718 --> 00:13:14,943
Captain's hat.
327
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:17,222
Where is the captain's hat?
328
00:13:17,247 --> 00:13:18,253
Ah.
329
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,303
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
330
00:13:27,158 --> 00:13:29,383
I've stopped the clock.
331
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,533
I've stopped the clock.
332
00:13:36,558 --> 00:13:38,253
I presumed it was on the plane.
333
00:13:38,278 --> 00:13:39,693
It is on the plane.
334
00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:41,133
Oh, there it is.
335
00:13:45,438 --> 00:13:46,583
É
336
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:48,092
No.
337
00:13:48,117 --> 00:13:50,493
Inside the plane?
338
00:13:50,518 --> 00:13:52,413
Is it on the plane?
339
00:13:52,438 --> 00:13:53,772
Oh, there it is.
340
00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,892
F
341
00:13:59,917 --> 00:14:00,972
Thank you.
342
00:14:03,478 --> 00:14:04,583
Thank you, Lee.
343
00:14:04,608 --> 00:14:06,583
Don't thank you me, come over here
and check it.
344
00:14:06,608 --> 00:14:08,943
É
345
00:14:08,968 --> 00:14:11,453
Completely covered in both in every
bit, so every bit is covered by
346
00:14:11,478 --> 00:14:13,053
both. All right.
347
00:14:15,608 --> 00:14:18,053
Yes, you are.
348
00:14:18,078 --> 00:14:20,303
Wait, I'm going to try this.
349
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,053
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
350
00:14:25,997 --> 00:14:27,333
Can you do a 360 spin?
351
00:14:27,358 --> 00:14:28,533
I'll try.
352
00:14:29,718 --> 00:14:30,892
Scheisse!
353
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,813
Incredible scenes.
354
00:14:36,838 --> 00:14:38,743
I mean, what's going on, Mike?
355
00:14:38,768 --> 00:14:41,102
You look comfortable being
taped up like that.
356
00:14:41,127 --> 00:14:44,303
Yeah. And then you're asked to
spin around, perfectly reasonable
357
00:14:44,328 --> 00:14:47,383
request from my colleague. Yeah. And
as you fall you just naturally say,
358
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,102
"Scheisse".
It makes me think.
359
00:14:49,127 --> 00:14:52,253
I was trying to, generally speaking,
avoid potty mouth.
360
00:14:52,278 --> 00:14:53,463
Yeah.
361
00:14:53,488 --> 00:14:55,943
But when you're doing a 360 and
you're gaffer taped up, these
362
00:14:55,968 --> 00:14:57,463
things slip out.
363
00:14:57,488 --> 00:15:01,333
Lovely. You, weren't asked to
roll around on the floor.
364
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:02,493
É
365
00:15:02,518 --> 00:15:04,892
F
366
00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:07,253
I think
you all had fun with it.
367
00:15:07,278 --> 00:15:09,053
Sarah included. Yeah. Yeah, I
enjoyed it.
368
00:15:09,078 --> 00:15:11,743
You just had a bit of fun with it.
Lee, I don't know whether you were
369
00:15:11,768 --> 00:15:13,693
having fun. Yeah, I'm, uh...
370
00:15:13,718 --> 00:15:16,253
So, if I'd have wrapped myself in
just clingfilm and just taken
371
00:15:16,278 --> 00:15:19,102
a little bit of tape off and stuck
it on my knee that would've counted?
372
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,693
That would've been a great idea.
Oh, good.
373
00:15:21,718 --> 00:15:22,972
That's fine.
374
00:15:22,997 --> 00:15:25,772
F
375
00:15:25,797 --> 00:15:28,493
The only person to come out of this
whole thing with any respect is
376
00:15:28,518 --> 00:15:31,102
Jamali. Jamali Maddix was the
fastest with his one leg at a time
377
00:15:31,127 --> 00:15:32,463
system. Fair play, though.
378
00:15:32,488 --> 00:15:34,852
He put the hat on in 40 seconds.
Just one second slower was
379
00:15:34,877 --> 00:15:37,213
Sarah in second place with 41
seconds.
380
00:15:37,238 --> 00:15:39,573
Charlotte, one minute five. Mike,
one minute six, which is
381
00:15:39,598 --> 00:15:41,892
impressive, considering he really
did wrap up his legs.
382
00:15:41,917 --> 00:15:43,463
Lee, two minutes exactly.
383
00:15:43,488 --> 00:15:46,663
That's a lesson for the
kids, innit? About obeying rules
384
00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:49,053
if they're watching. Yeah. Don't
bother.
385
00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:52,663
So, Jamali Maddix gets five points.
386
00:15:55,328 --> 00:15:58,573
I'd like a scoreboard, please, just
before Lee attacks me.
387
00:15:58,598 --> 00:15:59,852
Here are the scores.
388
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:02,413
Charlotte is at the bottom of the
table with four points.
389
00:16:02,438 --> 00:16:05,693
Ah. But with a maximum ten points at
the moment, it's Jamali Maddix.
390
00:16:05,718 --> 00:16:08,022
There it is!
391
00:16:08,047 --> 00:16:10,573
Let's have a lovely new task,
please. Healthy lead.
392
00:16:10,598 --> 00:16:13,053
OK, then next up is this.
393
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,383
Oh, hello.
394
00:16:27,797 --> 00:16:28,972
Hello, Alex.
395
00:16:28,997 --> 00:16:30,183
Wow.
396
00:16:32,238 --> 00:16:34,493
Hi. Oh, wow. Yeah?
397
00:16:34,518 --> 00:16:36,743
If you want. I like.
398
00:16:37,688 --> 00:16:39,022
É
399
00:16:39,047 --> 00:16:40,213
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
400
00:16:40,238 --> 00:16:42,543
Hi, Jamali. How you doing, man?
I'm good, thank you.
401
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,022
How are you? Yeah.
402
00:16:44,047 --> 00:16:47,413
Don't know if I'm pulling off the
hat but...
403
00:16:47,438 --> 00:16:50,022
Are you ready? I am ready, yes.
Here we go.
404
00:16:54,958 --> 00:16:57,493
É
405
00:16:57,518 --> 00:16:59,852
é
406
00:16:59,877 --> 00:17:02,933
Uh, oh, hello!
407
00:17:02,958 --> 00:17:04,183
Oh, right.
408
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:05,468
Very nice.
409
00:17:05,493 --> 00:17:08,192
Are you excited?
Yeah. Yeah.
410
00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:12,112
How are things? Oh, at home?
411
00:17:12,137 --> 00:17:13,192
Yeah.
412
00:17:13,217 --> 00:17:14,522
It's OK, now.
413
00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:15,672
Good to hear.
414
00:17:17,106 --> 00:17:18,831
You? Yeah.
415
00:17:18,856 --> 00:17:19,992
You know.
416
00:17:20,017 --> 00:17:21,192
Oh!
417
00:17:21,217 --> 00:17:22,522
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
418
00:17:22,547 --> 00:17:25,112
Nice, that was a nice little, that
was very slick.
419
00:17:25,137 --> 00:17:29,472
You sort of distracted me
with your peril home life.
420
00:17:29,497 --> 00:17:30,912
F
421
00:17:30,937 --> 00:17:32,831
F
422
00:17:32,856 --> 00:17:35,831
Yeah.
Oh.
423
00:17:37,627 --> 00:17:40,112
Make the best uniform for this bee.
424
00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:43,081
Make the best uniform for this bee.
425
00:17:43,106 --> 00:17:46,242
When they made me put this on,
I was tucking everything in.
426
00:17:46,267 --> 00:17:50,242
And I mean everything thinking,
"Something's going to get me".
427
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:52,081
And it's that.
428
00:17:52,106 --> 00:17:54,912
I've been on The Des O'Connor Show.
I don't even need this.
429
00:17:54,937 --> 00:17:57,961
You must wear your beekeeping outfit
throughout the task.
430
00:17:57,986 --> 00:18:01,032
É
431
00:18:01,057 --> 00:18:03,322
Then 15 minutes to make the uniform.
432
00:18:03,347 --> 00:18:04,552
Your time starts now.
433
00:18:04,577 --> 00:18:07,162
Five minutes to order five items
for this bee.
434
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,961
Yes, please.
435
00:18:08,986 --> 00:18:10,751
Oh, OK. I think I know what I want.
436
00:18:10,776 --> 00:18:13,192
OK.
White cloth.
437
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,602
White felt, please.
438
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:17,272
Little bit of mesh.
439
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,682
White tack.
440
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:22,242
Something to make a tiny sword.
441
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,162
I'm going to need more information
than that.
442
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:29,362
Uh, so, uh, a short length of, uh,
something grey or silver.
443
00:18:29,387 --> 00:18:31,682
Again, you're going to need to be
more specific.
444
00:18:31,707 --> 00:18:33,961
A pea! A frozen pea.
445
00:18:33,986 --> 00:18:36,472
A Stanley knife and some Tippex.
446
00:18:36,497 --> 00:18:38,751
Polo mints.
447
00:18:38,776 --> 00:18:40,042
Small motorbike.
448
00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:42,602
Or something akin to it, yes.
No, it's not, "Or something".
449
00:18:42,627 --> 00:18:44,881
Right, yeah. So, yes then, please.
450
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:47,631
Can I also have like a cold drink?
451
00:18:47,656 --> 00:18:49,192
What type of drink?
452
00:18:49,217 --> 00:18:50,751
Just like a cold beer.
453
00:18:50,776 --> 00:18:52,242
That'd be great, man.
454
00:18:52,267 --> 00:18:54,552
I'll see you later on.
455
00:18:54,577 --> 00:18:55,552
Bye, honey.
456
00:18:57,577 --> 00:18:58,881
Lovely.
457
00:18:58,906 --> 00:19:00,402
I haven't got much to say.
458
00:19:00,427 --> 00:19:02,352
We went through quite a journey,
initially.
459
00:19:02,377 --> 00:19:06,751
Mike came in first and I genuinely
thought Mike's
460
00:19:06,776 --> 00:19:09,631
decided to wear a beekeeper's
costume today.
461
00:19:09,656 --> 00:19:13,402
Then there was some youthful
exuberance from our two young
462
00:19:13,427 --> 00:19:16,192
people. Jamali, it's the first time
I've seen you genuinely happy.
463
00:19:16,217 --> 00:19:17,802
But then, Sarah brought us
464
00:19:17,827 --> 00:19:21,522
back down to Earth by associating
bees with the death of a child.
465
00:19:21,547 --> 00:19:23,081
My Girl!
466
00:19:23,106 --> 00:19:24,992
Remember that absurd twist in the
plot?
467
00:19:25,017 --> 00:19:26,761
And it comes out of nowhere.
468
00:19:26,786 --> 00:19:29,112
Well, that's life, isn't it?
That is life.
469
00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:31,831
Mercifully, we know that
all five of you survived.
470
00:19:31,856 --> 00:19:33,631
So, let's have a look at your bee
uniforms.
471
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:35,072
We're going to see Jamali, Sarah
472
00:19:35,097 --> 00:19:38,552
and Charlotte, first of all, taking
part in our sewing bee.
473
00:19:42,017 --> 00:19:43,522
Hey, what's up?
474
00:19:43,547 --> 00:19:45,831
I've been to the shops.
OK.
475
00:19:45,856 --> 00:19:48,162
And your 15 minutes starts now.
476
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,761
I just have to make a beekeeper's
outfit for my bee, right?
477
00:19:50,786 --> 00:19:53,192
Well, you have to make a uniform.
You've chosen beekeeper's.
478
00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:54,442
Ugh.
479
00:19:54,467 --> 00:19:56,802
Did you think you had to make a
beekeeping uniform?
480
00:19:56,827 --> 00:19:59,272
Yeah. Ah, I thought you chose to
make a beekeeping uniform.
481
00:19:59,297 --> 00:20:00,602
No.
482
00:20:00,627 --> 00:20:01,961
Isn't that interesting?
483
00:20:01,986 --> 00:20:04,482
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
484
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,272
I'm such a dumb prick.
485
00:20:08,097 --> 00:20:09,831
É
486
00:20:09,856 --> 00:20:11,522
And I have to keep the gloves on,
right?
487
00:20:11,547 --> 00:20:13,072
All the information's in the task.
OK.
488
00:20:13,097 --> 00:20:15,322
All right, here we go. OK.
489
00:20:17,627 --> 00:20:19,432
So, are you trying to thread a mint?
490
00:20:19,457 --> 00:20:23,881
F
491
00:20:23,906 --> 00:20:25,552
F
492
00:20:25,577 --> 00:20:27,402
£
493
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:28,881
F
494
00:20:28,906 --> 00:20:32,522
Don't know why I thought this was
going to be mad easy.
495
00:20:32,547 --> 00:20:36,072
Oh, sorry, sir, for dropping you.
496
00:20:36,097 --> 00:20:37,402
Can you thread this in for me?
497
00:20:37,427 --> 00:20:38,522
No.
498
00:20:42,217 --> 00:20:43,631
Ugh.
499
00:20:43,656 --> 00:20:45,961
It was going quite well, wasn't it,
for a bit?
500
00:20:45,986 --> 00:20:48,272
F
501
00:20:48,297 --> 00:20:50,602
It's impossible to put the thread
through that hole.
502
00:20:50,627 --> 00:20:51,912
Right.
503
00:20:51,937 --> 00:20:54,881
I'm just going to spend five minutes
doing this
504
00:20:54,906 --> 00:20:58,202
and then I'll have a luxury five
minutes to do the task.
505
00:20:58,227 --> 00:20:59,322
Ooh, look at that.
506
00:20:59,347 --> 00:21:01,202
OK.
507
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:03,242
Six minutes left.
508
00:21:03,267 --> 00:21:04,352
É
509
00:21:04,377 --> 00:21:06,352
F
510
00:21:06,377 --> 00:21:09,202
I'm just going to really fill it
with glue.
511
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:10,682
Like that.
512
00:21:10,707 --> 00:21:13,682
So you've dunked his whole head in a
bucket of glue. Yeah.
513
00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:18,602
É
514
00:21:18,627 --> 00:21:23,272
é
515
00:21:23,297 --> 00:21:25,631
You a big fan of movies?
Yes.
516
00:21:25,656 --> 00:21:27,602
Well, this is a nice little movie
one for you.
517
00:21:27,627 --> 00:21:28,912
Oh, really? Yeah.
518
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:35,631
What does a lasso look like? Um...
519
00:21:35,656 --> 00:21:39,711
OK, he's unfurled the lasso because
he's going, do you know what,
520
00:21:39,736 --> 00:21:42,562
I'm going to stop
hitting my workers. Hmm.
521
00:21:42,587 --> 00:21:43,761
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
522
00:21:43,786 --> 00:21:46,711
Is it from
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest?
523
00:21:46,736 --> 00:21:50,432
F
524
00:21:50,457 --> 00:21:51,761
Oh, Scrooge.
525
00:21:51,786 --> 00:21:53,352
What was the netting for?
526
00:21:53,377 --> 00:21:56,122
É
527
00:21:56,147 --> 00:21:58,792
I thought you were going to make a
beekeeper's outfit.
528
00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:03,152
I was intending on making a tiny
beekeeper's outfit with this
529
00:22:03,177 --> 00:22:04,482
and go over his head like that.
530
00:22:04,507 --> 00:22:06,202
But right now it's the Pope.
531
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:08,792
WHISTLE BLOWS
532
00:22:08,817 --> 00:22:10,602
AUDIENCE APPLAUDS
533
00:22:10,627 --> 00:22:13,122
Really great. I'd like to dig down
into the narrative of your
534
00:22:13,147 --> 00:22:14,992
character. Yeah.
535
00:22:15,017 --> 00:22:16,282
What is he?
536
00:22:16,307 --> 00:22:20,682
I think it was a sort of a
Draconian commandant of a bee
537
00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:24,202
colony and the whip is there to keep
the workers in line.
538
00:22:24,227 --> 00:22:26,122
Of course, I'm the bee commandant.
Yeah.
539
00:22:26,147 --> 00:22:27,961
I've got my cowboy hat on.
540
00:22:27,986 --> 00:22:30,482
Ancl, and what else have I got on
there?
541
00:22:30,507 --> 00:22:33,042
Glue. Yeah. And a staple.
542
00:22:33,067 --> 00:22:35,961
So the narrative is the bee
commandant is understandably
543
00:22:35,986 --> 00:22:38,841
angry cos he's had a staple rammed
through his intestines
544
00:22:38,866 --> 00:22:41,961
just before he put his cowboy hat on
and then there was an extra
545
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:44,432
bit of the narrative where he whips
his staff.
546
00:22:44,457 --> 00:22:47,992
Which caused you to be exasperated
with yourself for bringing
547
00:22:48,017 --> 00:22:49,242
whipping into it, I think.
548
00:22:49,267 --> 00:22:51,562
Yeah, I thought - how's a bee going
to hold a whip?
549
00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:52,602
It's got wings! Yeah.
550
00:22:52,627 --> 00:22:55,072
Charlotte also started trying to
make a beekeeper's outfit.
551
00:22:55,097 --> 00:22:57,511
Didn't work so you abandoned it.
552
00:22:57,536 --> 00:23:00,202
Ancl turned it into a papal
bee as we can see here.
553
00:23:00,227 --> 00:23:02,562
I mean it is good.
554
00:23:02,587 --> 00:23:05,562
F
555
00:23:05,587 --> 00:23:08,511
There are six little white papal
slippers because that's part of the
556
00:23:08,536 --> 00:23:10,872
Pope's uniform, isn't it?
557
00:23:10,897 --> 00:23:13,252
Yeah. Did snip the fingers off
the gloves, though. That was...
558
00:23:13,277 --> 00:23:16,042
...a masterstroke.
559
00:23:16,067 --> 00:23:18,612
For one beat, I thought you were
chopping your fingers off.
560
00:23:18,637 --> 00:23:21,432
I thought you were so
561
00:23:21,457 --> 00:23:24,002
committed to this show. I
don't need fingers. Yeah.
562
00:23:24,027 --> 00:23:26,362
I know where
I can get a spare thumb, anyway.
563
00:23:26,387 --> 00:23:28,711
The end result is pretty impressive.
Magnificent.
564
00:23:28,736 --> 00:23:32,002
I just ask you the simple question,
does the Pope wear a uniform?
565
00:23:32,027 --> 00:23:34,432
É
566
00:23:34,457 --> 00:23:37,562
No,
but does he wear a uniform?
567
00:23:37,587 --> 00:23:38,792
F
568
00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:41,152
Nowhere in the world has anyone ever
referred to the Pope's
569
00:23:41,177 --> 00:23:42,591
clothing as a uniform.
570
00:23:42,616 --> 00:23:45,872
F
571
00:23:45,897 --> 00:23:48,202
No, no.
572
00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:49,432
I'm going to put my Pope garb on.
573
00:23:49,457 --> 00:23:52,042
Garb.
574
00:23:52,067 --> 00:23:54,002
I think, let's have a
look at Jamali's, anyway.
575
00:23:54,027 --> 00:23:56,761
It's a lovely, it's a lovely Pope.
Harder, I think, to interpret.
576
00:23:56,786 --> 00:23:59,362
Looks like a hostage situation.
577
00:23:59,387 --> 00:24:01,202
Tell us where the honey is!
578
00:24:01,227 --> 00:24:04,761
Yeah, it's, uh, not a real ghost.
579
00:24:04,786 --> 00:24:09,152
He's an actor playing the ghost of
the Christmas Past.
580
00:24:09,177 --> 00:24:13,562
Yeah, you're happy with your bee
having a ghost uniform?
581
00:24:13,587 --> 00:24:16,721
Well, yeah, cos if you think about
it, it's a type of clothing you
582
00:24:16,746 --> 00:24:18,591
wear to work, right?
Yeah.
583
00:24:18,616 --> 00:24:20,971
And so if you're an actor, like, you
know when you've
584
00:24:20,996 --> 00:24:23,641
acted in things, I don't know if
you've acted in things but with...
585
00:24:23,666 --> 00:24:26,232
I have. Have you, really? I know, I
know you're unaware of my CV.
586
00:24:26,257 --> 00:24:27,332
I should check it out.
587
00:24:27,357 --> 00:24:29,721
And you wear your uniform, is your
costume's your uniform.
588
00:24:29,746 --> 00:24:31,332
And that's the costume.
589
00:24:31,357 --> 00:24:34,042
No, I've never referred, in my
many television acting roles,
590
00:24:34,067 --> 00:24:37,042
I've never referred to my clothing
as a uniform, not once.
591
00:24:37,067 --> 00:24:40,511
Right. Time for some adverts,
come back to us soon.
592
00:24:40,536 --> 00:24:42,332
AUDIENCE APPLAUDS
593
00:24:47,979 --> 00:24:49,354
CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
594
00:24:49,379 --> 00:24:51,874
Hello! Welcome back to
the third part of the show.
595
00:24:51,899 --> 00:24:54,154
Alex, what is the current situation?
596
00:24:54,179 --> 00:24:56,234
It's a real code red, Greg.
597
00:24:56,259 --> 00:24:58,874
There's a seriously naked bee
that's in need of clothing.
598
00:24:58,899 --> 00:25:01,643
We've seen three attempts at
nano-dressmaking so far.
599
00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:06,034
Finally, it's time to see
Lee make and Mike make.
600
00:25:06,059 --> 00:25:08,643
Right I'm going to take this off.
Yes. Don't start the clock yet.
601
00:25:08,668 --> 00:25:11,104
I have started the clock.
No, you can't. That's not fair.
602
00:25:11,129 --> 00:25:13,104
I can't stop the clock.
Oh, for God's sake, Alex.
603
00:25:13,129 --> 00:25:15,643
I had to take the jacket off -
the others don't have to do that.
604
00:25:15,668 --> 00:25:19,284
F
605
00:25:19,309 --> 00:25:20,874
What's in your wheelhouse, Mike?
606
00:25:20,899 --> 00:25:22,204
F
607
00:25:23,979 --> 00:25:25,234
é
608
00:25:26,868 --> 00:25:28,643
Right. There you go.
HE WHISTLES
609
00:25:31,339 --> 00:25:36,074
é
610
00:25:38,589 --> 00:25:40,284
I'd better jazz up the collar a bit.
611
00:25:41,699 --> 00:25:44,204
É
612
00:25:44,229 --> 00:25:47,074
F
613
00:25:47,099 --> 00:25:49,034
Right, you know what this is,
don't you?
614
00:25:49,059 --> 00:25:51,824
It's your classic "turn your frozen
pea into a bee helmet" situation.
615
00:25:51,849 --> 00:25:52,954
We've all been there.
616
00:25:52,979 --> 00:25:54,154
Here we go.
617
00:25:55,949 --> 00:25:58,643
Gosh, if ever I needed
a pair of glasses, it was now.
618
00:25:58,668 --> 00:26:00,204
This is what they should do.
619
00:26:00,229 --> 00:26:02,513
Get rid of the traditional eye test.
620
00:26:02,538 --> 00:26:05,593
It'd make you look forward to going
to the opticians, wouldn't it?
621
00:26:05,618 --> 00:26:07,004
F
622
00:26:14,979 --> 00:26:17,284
é
623
00:26:17,309 --> 00:26:19,794
Alex, could you go online and
find out what the world record is
624
00:26:19,819 --> 00:26:21,593
forjumping double decker buses?
Yeah.
625
00:26:21,618 --> 00:26:24,564
A man jumped over 18
on 29 August, 1983.
626
00:26:24,589 --> 00:26:27,074
Well...this is a British record.
627
00:26:27,099 --> 00:26:28,754
He did it in Wales.
628
00:26:28,779 --> 00:26:31,034
WHISTLE BLOWS
629
00:26:32,979 --> 00:26:36,434
And that, my friend,
is Beevil Knievel...
630
00:26:36,459 --> 00:26:39,674
...made from split pea, about to
jump almost the world record.
631
00:26:39,699 --> 00:26:41,004
The world record for a bee.
632
00:26:45,748 --> 00:26:47,513
Going to go for it.
Good luck, BeeviL
633
00:26:50,668 --> 00:26:52,643
Ooh.
634
00:26:52,668 --> 00:26:54,473
WHISPERS: Don't let me down, BeeviL
635
00:26:58,309 --> 00:26:59,874
Here you go. You ready?
636
00:27:05,945 --> 00:27:07,110
This is the one.
637
00:27:08,895 --> 00:27:11,150
He's still on his bike.
638
00:27:11,175 --> 00:27:11,950
Come on.
639
00:27:14,215 --> 00:27:15,440
Ready?
640
00:27:21,414 --> 00:27:23,670
Oh, that was a bad one.
641
00:27:23,695 --> 00:27:24,670
Forget it.
642
00:27:27,255 --> 00:27:29,550
APPLAUSE
643
00:27:29,575 --> 00:27:31,920
Well, I'd like to deal with
Mike first, if I may. Yes.
644
00:27:31,945 --> 00:27:34,389
Who instantly decided
on the matador idea.
645
00:27:34,414 --> 00:27:37,110
A lot of detail -
you made the bullring,
646
00:27:37,135 --> 00:27:39,639
you got hold of the bull.
Sand.
647
00:27:39,664 --> 00:27:44,670
My gut instinct is that when we see
the matador's outfit in isolation,
648
00:27:44,695 --> 00:27:46,550
it'll be rubbish.
649
00:27:46,575 --> 00:27:50,190
F
650
00:27:50,215 --> 00:27:52,230
This is what it ended up
looking like.
651
00:27:52,255 --> 00:27:54,190
Yeah.
LAUGHTER
652
00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:56,950
F
653
00:27:56,975 --> 00:27:58,719
He's also dead.
654
00:27:58,744 --> 00:28:00,639
F
655
00:28:00,664 --> 00:28:04,160
Right, the matador bee,
compared with free stunts
656
00:28:04,185 --> 00:28:06,469
from Lee Mack, as well.
Yeah. Beevil Knievel.
657
00:28:06,494 --> 00:28:07,589
Yeah, here is BeeviL
658
00:28:07,614 --> 00:28:09,589
You can see the word
"Beevil" on his collar.
659
00:28:09,614 --> 00:28:12,160
What interested me is,
when the challenge was set,
660
00:28:12,185 --> 00:28:14,509
immediately you went,
"Get me a frozen pea."
661
00:28:14,534 --> 00:28:17,190
Immediately. And you knew it was
for the helmet for Beevil Knievel.
662
00:28:17,215 --> 00:28:19,750
Immediately, because I knew that
I only had a small window.
663
00:28:19,775 --> 00:28:22,110
You have to defrost that
frozen pea perfectly.
664
00:28:22,135 --> 00:28:23,800
Too hard, you'll never
cut through it.
665
00:28:23,825 --> 00:28:26,160
Too soft, and it won't be able
to protect a skull.
666
00:28:26,185 --> 00:28:28,160
It did crash several times,
and the helmet stayed on.
667
00:28:28,185 --> 00:28:30,469
Well, it did its job.
LAUGHTER
668
00:28:30,494 --> 00:28:31,950
I'm ready to make judgment. Right.
669
00:28:31,975 --> 00:28:33,639
Do you want to put them
all up the screen?
670
00:28:33,664 --> 00:28:35,639
Put them all up, and let me judge!
There we go, OK.
671
00:28:35,664 --> 00:28:38,110
CHARLOTTE:
672
00:28:38,135 --> 00:28:40,469
LAUGHTER
673
00:28:40,494 --> 00:28:42,800
é
674
00:28:42,825 --> 00:28:44,550
F
675
00:28:44,575 --> 00:28:46,080
MIKE: Charlotte's doing great.
676
00:28:46,105 --> 00:28:48,440
I think they're all quite proud
of Charlotte, probably.
677
00:28:48,465 --> 00:28:50,190
Which is the worst uniform, Greg?
678
00:28:50,215 --> 00:28:54,639
I mean the worst out the worst
outfit is clearly the ghost.
679
00:28:54,664 --> 00:28:56,000
So, one point to Jamali.
680
00:28:56,025 --> 00:28:59,690
Very close to getting the one point
was, er, the bee commandant.
681
00:28:59,715 --> 00:29:02,050
Yes.
Yeah. Two points.
682
00:29:02,075 --> 00:29:04,020
Two points Sarah -
and thank me for them.
683
00:29:04,045 --> 00:29:05,570
LAUGHTER
684
00:29:05,595 --> 00:29:08,539
Erm, Mike Wozniak's matador bee
is very lucky to be
685
00:29:08,564 --> 00:29:09,739
getting three points.
686
00:29:09,764 --> 00:29:11,770
Right, third place for Mike.
That's what he gets.
687
00:29:11,795 --> 00:29:13,650
So, it's between
the Pope and the stuntman.
688
00:29:13,675 --> 00:29:15,409
They're both a visual delight to me.
689
00:29:15,434 --> 00:29:17,850
But, because there was extra stunts,
690
00:29:17,875 --> 00:29:21,100
I think Beevil Knievel,
on this occasion, just takes it.
691
00:29:21,125 --> 00:29:23,820
But four points to Charlotte.
Yes. Five points to Lee.
692
00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:26,100
APPLAUSE
693
00:29:27,155 --> 00:29:28,539
Another one!
694
00:29:28,564 --> 00:29:30,770
And it's time to throw some shapes.
695
00:29:42,715 --> 00:29:44,970
Hey. Hi, Sarah.
696
00:29:44,995 --> 00:29:46,900
Hello, hi, Alex.
697
00:29:46,925 --> 00:29:49,180
Hello, there.
Thank you.
698
00:29:53,514 --> 00:29:56,900
"Arrange the seven objects in a
line on the table in order of
699
00:29:56,925 --> 00:29:58,619
"how many sides they have."
700
00:29:58,644 --> 00:30:01,289
é
701
00:30:01,314 --> 00:30:04,460
"You may only touch
the objects with your face."
702
00:30:04,485 --> 00:30:06,180
HE SIGHS
703
00:30:06,205 --> 00:30:07,330
OK.
704
00:30:07,355 --> 00:30:10,100
"If anything falls from the table,
you're disqualified."
705
00:30:10,125 --> 00:30:13,100
é
706
00:30:13,125 --> 00:30:14,130
é
707
00:30:14,155 --> 00:30:15,770
"You have ten minutes.
708
00:30:15,795 --> 00:30:19,739
"You must put on your
darkness goggles...now."
709
00:30:23,514 --> 00:30:26,100
OK can you see anything? No.
Can you carry on reading?
710
00:30:27,314 --> 00:30:28,739
Jamali?
711
00:30:28,764 --> 00:30:30,260
What's wrong?
712
00:30:30,285 --> 00:30:33,100
No. They're darkness goggles.
713
00:30:33,125 --> 00:30:35,460
I can't see anything.
What am I doing?
714
00:30:35,485 --> 00:30:38,340
I mean, I've been asking that
since I started the show.
715
00:30:38,365 --> 00:30:40,050
Please read the final
line of the task.
716
00:30:40,075 --> 00:30:41,050
Q
717
00:30:42,314 --> 00:30:43,820
F
718
00:30:43,845 --> 00:30:46,100
DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
719
00:30:48,644 --> 00:30:52,460
I'm keen to crack on and see
what'll obviously be a humiliation.
720
00:30:52,485 --> 00:30:53,539
Let's have a look.
721
00:30:53,564 --> 00:30:56,409
We're going to start with
two right nosy parkers -
722
00:30:56,434 --> 00:30:58,010
Charlotte and Sarah.
723
00:30:59,394 --> 00:31:01,260
Er...oh.
724
00:31:01,285 --> 00:31:04,130
OK, that feels...rectangular.
725
00:31:04,155 --> 00:31:08,489
Right, I'm...oh, quite near
the edges of the table.
726
00:31:08,514 --> 00:31:09,650
Oh.
727
00:31:09,675 --> 00:31:10,980
That was close!
728
00:31:12,564 --> 00:31:14,289
F
729
00:31:14,314 --> 00:31:15,340
F
730
00:31:16,845 --> 00:31:18,130
é
731
00:31:18,155 --> 00:31:20,700
F
732
00:31:22,725 --> 00:31:25,489
Er...that's a circle.
733
00:31:25,514 --> 00:31:27,900
How many sides has a circle got?
One?
734
00:31:32,035 --> 00:31:33,340
That's a rectangle.
735
00:31:33,365 --> 00:31:36,060
£
736
00:31:37,845 --> 00:31:40,340
é
737
00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:42,770
Yes, it is, yeah.
738
00:31:42,795 --> 00:31:43,980
Please be careful.
739
00:31:48,798 --> 00:31:51,013
Er...where did it go?
740
00:31:53,517 --> 00:31:55,542
É
741
00:31:55,567 --> 00:31:56,903
That's a pyramid.
742
00:31:56,928 --> 00:31:58,453
Hang on, one...
743
00:31:58,478 --> 00:32:00,733
F
744
00:32:00,758 --> 00:32:01,653
é
745
00:32:01,678 --> 00:32:03,063
Where's the egg gone?
746
00:32:03,088 --> 00:32:04,453
Oh, ow.
747
00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:10,343
F
748
00:32:10,368 --> 00:32:11,542
é
749
00:32:15,088 --> 00:32:16,343
So, one...
750
00:32:18,678 --> 00:32:21,703
...two, three, four.
751
00:32:22,958 --> 00:32:24,622
What's that?
752
00:32:24,647 --> 00:32:27,573
F
753
00:32:27,598 --> 00:32:28,573
Q
754
00:32:30,238 --> 00:32:31,783
That's a banana.
755
00:32:31,808 --> 00:32:34,573
How many sides does a banana have?
756
00:32:34,598 --> 00:32:36,263
One?
757
00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:39,542
F
758
00:32:39,567 --> 00:32:40,823
é
759
00:32:40,848 --> 00:32:41,903
é
760
00:32:41,928 --> 00:32:46,263
é
761
00:32:46,288 --> 00:32:47,453
F
762
00:32:49,808 --> 00:32:51,653
Two sides to a page.
763
00:32:51,678 --> 00:32:53,933
É
764
00:32:53,958 --> 00:32:56,213
é
765
00:32:56,238 --> 00:32:57,983
F
766
00:33:02,928 --> 00:33:04,213
Ohh!
767
00:33:04,238 --> 00:33:06,143
WHISTLE BLOWS
768
00:33:06,168 --> 00:33:07,542
Oh.
769
00:33:07,567 --> 00:33:09,853
É
770
00:33:09,878 --> 00:33:12,372
F
771
00:33:12,397 --> 00:33:13,372
é
772
00:33:14,758 --> 00:33:16,453
F
773
00:33:16,478 --> 00:33:18,733
é
774
00:33:18,758 --> 00:33:20,093
é
775
00:33:20,118 --> 00:33:21,653
WHISTLE BLOWS
776
00:33:21,678 --> 00:33:23,372
Thanks, guys. Thanks, Sarah.
777
00:33:24,598 --> 00:33:27,093
APPLAUSE
778
00:33:27,118 --> 00:33:29,903
There were two moments in
your attempt, Sarah, that, to me,
779
00:33:29,928 --> 00:33:31,622
just summed up the futility of life.
780
00:33:31,647 --> 00:33:33,933
Go on. It's when you, er,
dropped the egg,
781
00:33:33,958 --> 00:33:35,223
and you were still like a heron.
782
00:33:36,958 --> 00:33:42,733
And then, at the end, there was
this existential grunt of "aargh"!
783
00:33:42,758 --> 00:33:43,933
LAUGHTER
784
00:33:43,958 --> 00:33:46,422
I had the horrors
about that for days.
785
00:33:46,447 --> 00:33:50,422
Just the thought of me sightlessly
licking objects. Yeah.
786
00:33:50,447 --> 00:33:54,783
Snuffling around like a salamander
on the bottom of the ocean.
787
00:33:54,808 --> 00:33:57,093
It was just disgusting to watch.
788
00:33:57,118 --> 00:34:00,263
There was a lovely moment when
your chin went into water, as well,
789
00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:01,653
where you went, "Yeah".
790
00:34:01,678 --> 00:34:03,653
LAUGHTER
791
00:34:03,678 --> 00:34:06,143
She was unlucky.
She did actually do pretty well.
792
00:34:06,168 --> 00:34:08,622
But, as Charlotte said,
if something falls to the floor,
793
00:34:08,647 --> 00:34:09,983
you are dis-squashified.
794
00:34:10,008 --> 00:34:11,903
Dis-squashified. You are.
795
00:34:11,928 --> 00:34:14,733
Charlotte became a, sort of,
primary school teacher at one point.
796
00:34:14,758 --> 00:34:16,292
"You're over here near jelly."
797
00:34:18,197 --> 00:34:20,783
F
798
00:34:20,808 --> 00:34:23,502
é
799
00:34:23,527 --> 00:34:26,422
You were good at working out how
many sides things have.
800
00:34:26,447 --> 00:34:27,502
"Paper, two."
801
00:34:27,527 --> 00:34:29,372
"Banana, six or seven."
You did well.
802
00:34:29,397 --> 00:34:32,343
Well, er, again, Sarah said this
like it was one of the great
803
00:34:32,368 --> 00:34:35,223
questions of our age,
"How many sides does a banana have?"
804
00:34:35,248 --> 00:34:36,292
LAUGHTER
805
00:34:36,317 --> 00:34:37,813
F
806
00:34:37,838 --> 00:34:39,292
The Internet thinks it's five.
807
00:34:39,317 --> 00:34:41,733
You want the paper one end, and you
want things like the banana
808
00:34:41,758 --> 00:34:43,093
and the pyramid the other one.
809
00:34:43,118 --> 00:34:46,292
She ended up with egg, paper,
cheese, drink, iced jelly, banana.
810
00:34:46,317 --> 00:34:48,063
It's pretty good.
Yeah, very impressive.
811
00:34:48,088 --> 00:34:49,583
Yeah.
812
00:34:49,608 --> 00:34:50,893
What did, er, Sarah drop?
813
00:34:50,918 --> 00:34:54,013
She dropped the egg,
so she is, er, squashlef-ified.
814
00:34:54,038 --> 00:34:55,783
LAUGHTER
815
00:34:55,808 --> 00:34:58,983
Right, last link into the break
for this episode, possibly ever.
816
00:34:59,008 --> 00:35:01,343
If the world ends during
the adverts, don't worry -
817
00:35:01,368 --> 00:35:02,863
Alex and I have got an escape pod.
818
00:35:02,888 --> 00:35:04,223
We'll be just fine.
819
00:35:04,248 --> 00:35:06,533
Well, I will -
he's going to get eaten!
820
00:35:06,558 --> 00:35:07,703
LAUGHTER
821
00:35:12,988 --> 00:35:14,733
APPLAUSE
822
00:35:14,758 --> 00:35:16,242
Well, we're back!
823
00:35:16,267 --> 00:35:19,783
We made it, after all. It's the last
part of the show and there's
824
00:35:19,808 --> 00:35:22,963
a shape-feeling task under way.
And don't I know it? We've seen
825
00:35:22,988 --> 00:35:25,502
Charlotte and Sarah's attempts at
nosing the objects
826
00:35:25,527 --> 00:35:28,813
into number-of-sides order.
Now for the men.
827
00:35:28,838 --> 00:35:31,143
The disgraceful men.
LAUGHTER
828
00:35:31,168 --> 00:35:33,403
Face... Face- based geometry.
829
00:35:33,428 --> 00:35:35,683
That's exactly it, Mike. OK.
830
00:35:35,708 --> 00:35:37,323
F
831
00:35:37,348 --> 00:35:39,783
F
832
00:35:39,808 --> 00:35:42,013
é
833
00:35:43,527 --> 00:35:45,292
F
834
00:35:47,118 --> 00:35:48,813
Uh... What's that?
835
00:35:48,838 --> 00:35:50,213
Ooh, that's not pleasant.
836
00:35:50,238 --> 00:35:51,963
Is there anything... Ah, hello!
837
00:35:51,988 --> 00:35:53,533
Oh, what's this?
838
00:35:53,558 --> 00:35:56,453
Very hard to count sides
with your nose.
839
00:35:56,478 --> 00:35:59,453
Uh... Uh...
840
00:35:59,478 --> 00:36:01,783
I can't tell. I think
that's got three sides.
841
00:36:01,808 --> 00:36:03,813
É
842
00:36:03,838 --> 00:36:06,172
Er, that's a little bit
like being kissed,
843
00:36:06,197 --> 00:36:07,813
kissed by someone
on the cusp of death.
844
00:36:07,838 --> 00:36:10,042
LAUGHTER
845
00:36:12,888 --> 00:36:15,502
é
846
00:36:15,527 --> 00:36:17,502
I've rolled something somewhere. Ha!
847
00:36:17,527 --> 00:36:20,533
I didn't hear the dull thud
of disqualification. No.
848
00:36:20,558 --> 00:36:21,933
Ooh.
849
00:36:24,918 --> 00:36:27,372
Has something fallen on the floor?
850
00:36:27,397 --> 00:36:29,252
É
851
00:36:29,277 --> 00:36:31,933
Smudge?
852
00:36:31,958 --> 00:36:35,013
É
853
00:36:35,038 --> 00:36:39,372
F
854
00:36:39,397 --> 00:36:40,653
F
855
00:36:40,678 --> 00:36:43,223
Oh... Ugh...
856
00:36:43,248 --> 00:36:46,683
One, two, three... That's got five
sides cos it's a container of water.
857
00:36:46,708 --> 00:36:49,013
I don't know what this is.
I put my moustache in it
858
00:36:49,038 --> 00:36:50,292
and that didn't actually help.
859
00:36:51,838 --> 00:36:52,933
LAUGHTER
860
00:36:54,067 --> 00:36:55,693
Uh...
861
00:36:55,718 --> 00:36:57,223
That's a pyramid, that.
862
00:36:57,248 --> 00:36:59,172
Not sure what this guy is.
863
00:36:59,197 --> 00:37:00,333
F
864
00:37:02,608 --> 00:37:03,813
Oh.
865
00:37:05,428 --> 00:37:07,863
How many sides has
a bloody banana got?
866
00:37:11,968 --> 00:37:14,813
Oh... Egg.
867
00:37:17,397 --> 00:37:19,763
Uh-uh! Oh!
868
00:37:22,118 --> 00:37:23,763
This isn't fair!
869
00:37:23,788 --> 00:37:26,693
I was told to trust my instincts,
but my instincts are telling me to
870
00:37:26,718 --> 00:37:30,533
squeak like a bat and use the sound,
871
00:37:30,558 --> 00:37:33,453
but I don't think
I've got the hearing.
872
00:37:33,478 --> 00:37:35,302
If I'm disqualified for that...
873
00:37:35,327 --> 00:37:37,093
LAUGHTER
874
00:37:37,118 --> 00:37:38,333
Not bad, considering
875
00:37:38,358 --> 00:37:39,653
I've got my goggles on!
876
00:37:39,678 --> 00:37:42,122
A... A Brie, perhaps?
877
00:37:42,147 --> 00:37:44,577
If it's wedge time,
you're talking five sides.
878
00:37:44,602 --> 00:37:46,166
F
879
00:37:46,191 --> 00:37:47,216
I think I'm done.
880
00:37:47,241 --> 00:37:49,166
There we go.
881
00:37:49,191 --> 00:37:50,284
WHISTLE BLOWS
882
00:37:51,540 --> 00:37:53,795
APPLAUSE
Wow! Well done, the men.
883
00:37:55,230 --> 00:37:58,875
Well done, men. I'm gonna start
with you. Er, you fascinate me.
884
00:37:58,900 --> 00:38:02,565
Without any hesitation, once
you've read the task, you turned
885
00:38:02,590 --> 00:38:05,825
to Alex and you said,
"Ah, so some face-based geometry."
886
00:38:05,850 --> 00:38:09,104
Straight away. Yeah, right. And
then, straight away after that,
887
00:38:09,129 --> 00:38:12,315
without any hesitation, you tucked
your tie into your shirt.
888
00:38:12,340 --> 00:38:15,715
Everything led me to believe you've
done a lot of these things before.
889
00:38:15,740 --> 00:38:19,234
Down to business. I've got small
children... Yeah. ..so we will
890
00:38:19,259 --> 00:38:22,565
construct stuff where you have to
guess with your face or your hands
891
00:38:22,590 --> 00:38:26,005
and, sometimes, that is road-tested.
You HAVE done this before? So, I've
892
00:38:26,030 --> 00:38:28,465
shoved my face in stuff before.
And have you said to
893
00:38:28,490 --> 00:38:32,154
your young children, "Right,
it's face-based geometry time"?
894
00:38:32,179 --> 00:38:35,364
Every Tuesday and Thursday
afternoons. Absolutely fascinating.
895
00:38:35,389 --> 00:38:38,034
Jamali, that all went
horribly wrong.
896
00:38:38,059 --> 00:38:40,795
F
897
00:38:40,820 --> 00:38:44,795
F
898
00:38:44,820 --> 00:38:47,875
Yeah.
899
00:38:47,900 --> 00:38:50,955
Yeah.
900
00:38:50,980 --> 00:38:52,284
THEY LAUGH
901
00:38:52,309 --> 00:38:54,795
Lee, erm, there was
a moment that you probably
902
00:38:54,820 --> 00:38:57,154
haven't registered
during your attempt,
903
00:38:57,179 --> 00:39:00,515
and it's a noise that you make
when the jelly falls off the table,
904
00:39:00,540 --> 00:39:03,114
and it is genuinely heartbreaking.
905
00:39:03,139 --> 00:39:04,645
Here is the noise.
906
00:39:04,670 --> 00:39:06,114
Uh-uh!
907
00:39:06,139 --> 00:39:08,645
LAUGHTER
Oh! Do you want to hear that a few
908
00:39:08,670 --> 00:39:10,925
more times, Greg? Let's see that.
909
00:39:10,950 --> 00:39:12,545
Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
910
00:39:12,570 --> 00:39:14,875
Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
911
00:39:14,900 --> 00:39:18,315
Oh, no! My tongue instinctively
tried to grab, but then you remember
912
00:39:18,340 --> 00:39:20,955
you can't grab with a tongue.
You ended up snogging the table
913
00:39:20,980 --> 00:39:23,795
more than anyone else. It was
unpleasant, I'm not gonna lie.
914
00:39:23,820 --> 00:39:26,725
Let's see it one more time.
Yeah! Focus on the tongue
915
00:39:26,750 --> 00:39:28,645
trying to chase the jelly. Yeah.
916
00:39:28,670 --> 00:39:30,034
That's what I enjoy.
917
00:39:30,059 --> 00:39:31,925
Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
918
00:39:31,950 --> 00:39:35,034
Oh, I think there's a bit of saliva
there as well.
919
00:39:35,059 --> 00:39:37,755
I've had enough now!
I mean... Yeah, but, you know,
920
00:39:37,780 --> 00:39:40,755
you've got something for your
showreel out of it! Oh, you think
921
00:39:40,780 --> 00:39:43,925
I've got a career after this to have
a showreel for?! Oh, interesting.
922
00:39:43,950 --> 00:39:46,284
It's nice. So, two people,
Mike and Charlotte, were
923
00:39:46,309 --> 00:39:48,645
incredible at this game and
had no problems. They were
924
00:39:48,670 --> 00:39:51,315
very successful.
It IS
925
00:39:51,340 --> 00:39:54,154
a good thing. I mean, you were
at a disadvantage, cos you haven't
926
00:39:54,179 --> 00:39:57,234
played it multiple times.
Twice a week, yeah. You got
927
00:39:57,259 --> 00:40:00,114
the cheese in the right place, but
you got the jelly far too close to
928
00:40:00,139 --> 00:40:03,195
the paper and the egg. It should've
been right up the other end. Oh.
929
00:40:03,220 --> 00:40:06,154
So, you were one worse than
Charlotte. 50, four points to Mike,
930
00:40:06,179 --> 00:40:08,795
five points to Charlotte Ritchie.
Lovely.
931
00:40:08,820 --> 00:40:10,595
APPLAUSE
932
00:40:10,620 --> 00:40:13,364
It's a bit controversial, but
because they did so well, I'd like
933
00:40:13,389 --> 00:40:14,875
to celebrate by watching Lee
934
00:40:14,900 --> 00:40:17,645
drop that jelly off the table.
If that's all right?
935
00:40:17,670 --> 00:40:19,154
Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
936
00:40:19,179 --> 00:40:22,034
Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
937
00:40:22,059 --> 00:40:23,364
Thank you, guys.
938
00:40:23,389 --> 00:40:26,645
Thank you so much. Well done. Can
I check how many points the three
939
00:40:26,670 --> 00:40:30,555
people who dropped things get?
Er, I'm afraid nothing. Nothing?
940
00:40:30,580 --> 00:40:33,835
Yeah. Nothing to Jamali, or Lee, or
Sarah. Let's have a look at
941
00:40:33,860 --> 00:40:36,515
the scores, baby. Sarah is down
the bottom, our series leader
942
00:40:36,540 --> 00:40:38,875
has only eight points.
First-time leader
943
00:40:38,900 --> 00:40:41,675
Charlotte is on 13! Yay!
APPLAUSE
944
00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:43,315
F
945
00:40:45,189 --> 00:40:46,835
All right, everyone, will you please
946
00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:49,595
make your way to the stage
for the final task of the show?
947
00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:51,085
APPLAUSE
948
00:40:52,290 --> 00:40:54,265
Hi, Greg. Welcome.
949
00:40:54,290 --> 00:40:57,114
Who's gonna read it out? Two people
are gonna read it out today.
950
00:40:57,139 --> 00:40:58,595
First time ever.
951
00:40:58,620 --> 00:41:01,555
I'd like Sarah to read hers,
and then Lee to read his.
952
00:41:03,470 --> 00:41:05,755
É
953
00:41:05,780 --> 00:41:08,525
F
954
00:41:08,550 --> 00:41:10,034
F
955
00:41:10,059 --> 00:41:11,315
é
956
00:41:11,340 --> 00:41:13,625
£
957
00:41:13,650 --> 00:41:16,034
é
958
00:41:16,059 --> 00:41:19,114
So, that's
959
00:41:19,139 --> 00:41:21,835
what one team will do.
The other team will do this.
960
00:41:21,860 --> 00:41:23,445
Bat away the marshmallow.
961
00:41:23,470 --> 00:41:25,914
When the Taskmaster says "play",
962
00:41:25,939 --> 00:41:28,885
you will have ten seconds
to bat away the marshmallow.
963
00:41:28,910 --> 00:41:31,835
Your hands may not be over the table
until the other player's tongs
964
00:41:31,860 --> 00:41:34,445
are over the table. If your hand
is over the table first,
965
00:41:34,470 --> 00:41:36,755
you are disqualified from the round.
966
00:41:36,780 --> 00:41:38,675
If you bat away the marshmallow,
you win.
967
00:41:38,700 --> 00:41:41,555
It's a game of Slaps,
but with tongs and a marshmallow.
968
00:41:41,580 --> 00:41:45,114
There are gonna be six battles.
If someone in your team wins,
969
00:41:45,139 --> 00:41:48,675
that is one point for everyone in
your team. First to grab and bat
970
00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:50,994
are Sarah versus Lee.
971
00:41:51,019 --> 00:41:53,725
It's gonna be Sarah grabbing,
Lee batting. Just to
972
00:41:53,750 --> 00:41:56,364
be clear... Yeah.
..I'm going to be saying,
973
00:41:56,389 --> 00:41:59,805
"Three, two, one, slap and tong",
and I don't want you to play until
974
00:41:59,830 --> 00:42:02,914
I've finished the word "tong".
Thank you. So, remember, Sarah, if
975
00:42:02,939 --> 00:42:05,286
your tongs go over that table
at all...
976
00:42:05,311 --> 00:42:07,633
...you've got to fulfil the grab.
977
00:42:07,658 --> 00:42:09,313
OK, good luck, everyone.
978
00:42:09,338 --> 00:42:14,313
PINGING
979
00:42:14,338 --> 00:42:16,633
GONG STRIKES
Three, two, one,
980
00:42:16,658 --> 00:42:18,273
slap and tong!
981
00:42:18,298 --> 00:42:19,723
I'm focusing.
982
00:42:19,748 --> 00:42:21,473
CHARLOTTE:
983
00:42:22,658 --> 00:42:24,083
é
984
00:42:26,057 --> 00:42:28,883
Ooh, she's good! Lovely.
One point to the team of three.
985
00:42:28,908 --> 00:42:30,162
Lovely.
986
00:42:30,187 --> 00:42:31,633
É
987
00:42:31,658 --> 00:42:34,883
On this occasion,
it's gonna be Mike to grab.
988
00:42:34,908 --> 00:42:36,912
It's Jamali to bat.
989
00:42:36,937 --> 00:42:38,553
PINGING
990
00:42:38,578 --> 00:42:40,362
Three, two, one...
991
00:42:41,858 --> 00:42:43,162
...slap and tong.
992
00:42:43,187 --> 00:42:47,032
TONGS CLICK
993
00:42:47,057 --> 00:42:48,963
LEE: Nice. Oh!
994
00:42:48,988 --> 00:42:52,162
Wow, man, you are...
995
00:42:52,187 --> 00:42:53,992
F
996
00:42:54,017 --> 00:42:55,443
What a display!
997
00:42:55,468 --> 00:42:57,242
Yet another activity that
998
00:42:57,267 --> 00:43:00,353
Mike Wozniak's clearly done before.
Just when I thought he couldn't
999
00:43:00,378 --> 00:43:02,673
look more like a praying mantis!
1000
00:43:02,698 --> 00:43:06,083
LAUGHTER
OK, it's Lee to grab. Charlotte, you
1001
00:43:06,108 --> 00:43:09,162
are batting. You understand
it? What's the technique again?
1002
00:43:09,187 --> 00:43:12,713
You've seen Karate Kid.
1003
00:43:13,988 --> 00:43:15,912
Three, two, one, slap and tong.
1004
00:43:15,937 --> 00:43:17,673
Watch out for the mic cable.
1005
00:43:20,578 --> 00:43:22,963
Ooh!
1006
00:43:22,988 --> 00:43:26,523
I know.
1007
00:43:26,548 --> 00:43:28,523
I took that opportunity.
1008
00:43:28,548 --> 00:43:31,963
Phew, no points yet to the
batter. We're halfway
1009
00:43:31,988 --> 00:43:34,713
through. Three more games to go.
Sarah to slap.
1010
00:43:34,738 --> 00:43:36,353
Mike to grab.
1011
00:43:38,098 --> 00:43:43,803
Three, two, one,
1012
00:43:43,828 --> 00:43:45,393
slap and tong!
1013
00:43:45,418 --> 00:43:47,443
Oh!
1014
00:43:47,468 --> 00:43:49,473
The first time
a batter's got a point.
1015
00:43:49,498 --> 00:43:52,323
Well done, the team of three.
Well done. Jamali's grab.
1016
00:43:52,348 --> 00:43:56,193
Lee to slap. Jacket off, is it?
Oh, serious, is it?
1017
00:43:56,218 --> 00:43:57,393
Here we go.
1018
00:43:57,418 --> 00:44:00,193
Going backhand again, is he?
1019
00:44:00,218 --> 00:44:01,803
CHARLOTTE:
1020
00:44:01,828 --> 00:44:04,112
I am, yeah.
1021
00:44:04,137 --> 00:44:05,753
Three, two, one...
1022
00:44:08,937 --> 00:44:09,912
...slap and tong!
1023
00:44:17,298 --> 00:44:19,353
Oh! Ooh!
1024
00:44:19,378 --> 00:44:21,992
Tense, innit?
1025
00:44:22,017 --> 00:44:23,633
Lovely.
1026
00:44:23,658 --> 00:44:24,912
That was textbook.
1027
00:44:26,908 --> 00:44:29,912
This is the final battle.
Charlotte to grab, Mike to slap.
1028
00:44:29,937 --> 00:44:31,883
Take your position.
1029
00:44:33,738 --> 00:44:37,112
No pressure, but you've gotta
get this, Mike.
1030
00:44:38,137 --> 00:44:40,403
Three, two, one...
1031
00:44:40,428 --> 00:44:48,112
PINGING
1032
00:44:48,137 --> 00:44:49,162
...slap and tong!
1033
00:44:50,218 --> 00:44:52,193
Oh! Oh!
1034
00:44:52,218 --> 00:44:55,112
Oh! So close!
1035
00:44:55,137 --> 00:44:57,073
Lovely.
1036
00:44:57,098 --> 00:45:00,112
Did you see what happened there,
Wozniak? No gimmicks.
1037
00:45:00,137 --> 00:45:03,242
No, just action.
Right, come down.
1038
00:45:03,267 --> 00:45:06,273
We'll find out how that's
affected the final scores!
1039
00:45:06,298 --> 00:45:07,912
APPLAUSE
1040
00:45:09,187 --> 00:45:11,162
Has that put the cat
amongst the pige-ons?
1041
00:45:11,187 --> 00:45:14,683
The cat is very much
amongst the pige-ons!
1042
00:45:14,708 --> 00:45:18,073
What reactions there were,
what reflexes! Oh, cat-like.
1043
00:45:18,098 --> 00:45:20,433
Yes, and the team of three
were the only ones who won
1044
00:45:20,458 --> 00:45:23,042
one of the batting games, which
means they all win four points.
1045
00:45:23,067 --> 00:45:26,433
The team of two get two points each.
Take it. Well done.
1046
00:45:26,458 --> 00:45:29,523
Well done, everyone. And so?
So, we are at the halfway stage of
1047
00:45:29,548 --> 00:45:32,603
the series and the scores are
pleasingly alphabetical.
1048
00:45:32,628 --> 00:45:34,273
Charlotte at the bottom, with 58.
1049
00:45:34,298 --> 00:45:36,683
Jamali, 67. Lee, 70.
1050
00:45:36,708 --> 00:45:38,713
Mike, 71. Sarah,
1051
00:45:38,738 --> 00:45:43,142
90 at this stage.
However, due to her final grab,
1052
00:45:43,167 --> 00:45:46,142
the winner of this episode,
for the first time,
1053
00:45:46,167 --> 00:45:48,453
Charlotte Ritchie, with
17 points. Yay! My God!
1054
00:45:48,478 --> 00:45:51,343
Charlotte Ritchie wins! Please go
1055
00:45:51,368 --> 00:45:53,343
and handle your operational prizes.
1056
00:45:53,368 --> 00:45:56,733
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1057
00:45:56,758 --> 00:46:00,213
So, what have we learnt today?
Today, I hope we've learnt
1058
00:46:00,238 --> 00:46:03,012
how to celebrate
the simple things in life.
1059
00:46:03,037 --> 00:46:06,653
The sound of birdsong.
BIRDSONG
1060
00:46:06,678 --> 00:46:09,012
Waves crashing on a beach.
1061
00:46:09,037 --> 00:46:11,812
CRASHING WAVES
1062
00:46:11,837 --> 00:46:16,173
And a 52-year-old man knocking jelly
off a table with his tongue.
1063
00:46:16,198 --> 00:46:18,573
Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
1064
00:46:18,598 --> 00:46:20,983
Uh-uh!
Farewell, my friends.
1065
00:46:21,008 --> 00:46:24,173
See you soon for the sixth chapter.
But for now, let's applaud
1066
00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:26,783
tonight's winner, Charlotte Ritchie!
1067
00:46:26,808 --> 00:46:29,012
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1068
00:46:51,248 --> 00:46:54,903
Subtitles by Red Bee Media