1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,680 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:05,720 Urgh! 3 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:08,680 Oh... 4 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:09,720 Whoo! 5 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,480 SHE GIGGLES 6 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:13,680 SHE SCREAMS 7 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:16,520 ROBOTIC CHATTERING 8 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,120 I mean, you're useless at this. 9 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,520 SCREAMING 10 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:21,800 SHE TRUMPETS 11 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,840 Eurgh! 12 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 13 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,240 Thank you, thank you! 14 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:39,000 Welcome to Taskmaster! A juggernaut of comedians 15 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,920 crashing off Career Mountain. 16 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,640 Soon, one of them will hold aloft the golden trophy depicting... 17 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,880 SULTRILY: ..my delicious face. 18 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,880 The losers will be rightly kicked from their homes 19 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,360 and have to live in the forest like giant human rats. 20 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,360 LAUGHTER So, for the penultimate time, 21 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,680 please welcome Andy Zaltzman... 22 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 23 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,760 ..Babatunde Aleshe... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 24 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,320 ..Emma Sidi... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 25 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,600 ..Jack Dee... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 26 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,560 ..and Rosie Jones! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 27 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,000 And next to me, a man who told me 28 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,080 that he likes attending parents evenings 29 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,360 because his middle child's form tutor is, and I quote, 30 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:21,440 "one hot piece of ass." 31 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,600 HIGH-PITCHED: # I-I-It's little Alex Horne! # 32 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,840 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 33 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,000 Yes, please. Hi, Greg! 34 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,040 Hey, Greg, riddle me this. 35 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,760 Would you rather all of the fingers on one of your hands was worms? 36 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,360 Yeah. Or would you like £10 cash? 37 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,520 LAUGHTER 38 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,960 OK, £10 cash. £10 cash, all right. 39 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,760 Would you rather, you have to always drink water from the hot tap? 40 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,160 Or £10 cash? 41 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,360 LAUGHTER 42 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:58,800 HE SIGHS 43 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,400 £10 cash, please. Just the slightly tepid water, yep. 44 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,200 Whenever you - would you rather that, 45 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,200 whenever you look in the mirror, you vomit? Blergh? 46 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:06,640 Or £10 cash? 47 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,320 Yeah, I'll have the £10 cash, please. £10, all right. 48 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,760 Oh, you have a slug instead of a tongue... 49 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:12,800 Yeah, £10 cash. 50 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,400 £10 cash, right. 51 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,200 OK. Mm-hm. Good. 52 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,880 And I've run out now. Mm-hm. 53 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,600 This is your personal money, right? 54 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,960 It genuinely is. Really is. 55 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,920 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 56 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,320 OK, prize task time! 57 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,000 And this week, you asked them to bring in the best item 58 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,600 for keeping things in that isn't just a regular item 59 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:42,960 for keeping things in. 60 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,400 I'll tell you what, I can hardly contain myself. 61 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,600 5 points for the best item, and all five items will be 62 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:51,640 heading home with the winner of the night. 63 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:52,680 OK, Jack. 64 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,200 What is the thing that you've brought in that's good for 65 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,960 keeping things in that you wouldn't normally keep things in? 66 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,520 I've brought this lovely, erm, 67 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,080 village scene that I keep things in. 68 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,280 OK, here is Jack's village Christmas scene. Yeah. 69 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,560 LAUGHTER 70 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,200 What are you containing in it? Ahem. 71 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,320 Erm, batteries. GREG GROANS 72 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,760 Yeah, he keeps his... he keeps his batteries in. 73 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:21,800 Fair enough. It-It's got a hidden compartment for them. 74 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,800 And so, I can always - if I, you know - I think, 75 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,480 "Oh, I need double-A batteries," you know what it's like. 76 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,640 Yeah, I know what it's like, yeah. Especially Christmas Day, it's... 77 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,520 "Oh, I've remembered where the double-A batteries are!" 78 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,440 Yeah, I've got some for you. "They're in that container!" Yeah! 79 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,800 "Oh, but the container's drained the batteries!" 80 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,280 LAUGHTER That is a flaw in this. 81 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,560 But what I've found, if you put them all the same way round, 82 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,920 it doesn't drain them. It admittedly... Ah! 83 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,920 Yeah, thank you! LAUGHTER 84 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:48,360 Oh, oh! So, it all makes sense now, does it? Yeah. Yeah. 85 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:52,440 It's like saying that you're going to store meat inside a dog, Jack. 86 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,520 LAUGHTER Jesus. 87 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,000 Right, Emma. 88 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,640 I have designed a bag. 89 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,120 Made it myself and, while I was making it, 90 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,040 I couldn't believe this hasn't been done before. 91 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,840 OK, here's her non-container container. 92 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,160 Oh! LAUGHTER 93 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,800 Yes...I like it. APPLAUSE 94 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,600 It's sort of fabulous. 95 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,400 It sort of does work, doesn't it? Yeah! 96 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,640 Trousers are already in existence to store your legs in. If... 97 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,040 It's not a huge leap. 98 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,080 They're not storing your legs your trousers. My point is... 99 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:32,120 I'm storing my legs! They're not a storage device, you knob. 100 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:36,280 "Ooh, where am I going to put these legs for the day?" 101 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,200 LAUGHTER Very good.Thank you, Greg. 102 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,520 Tick. Who's next? Baba. 103 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,280 I brought a biscuit tin. 104 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,000 LAUGHTER 105 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,280 Yeah. LAUGHTER CONTINUES 106 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,200 This, this thing is evil. Right? 107 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,960 Whenever you see this, you're like, 108 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,200 "Oh, my days, biscuits! I love biscuits. 109 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,960 "I love Danish butter cookies." And then, you open them. 110 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,920 Uh-oh. It's a sewing kit. LAUGHTER 111 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,760 I've got bad news for you. Right. 112 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,320 There's not a person in this room... OK. 113 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,320 ..who doesn't come from a household where a biscuit tin has been 114 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,200 repurposed to store other things. 115 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:15,320 So, we all can agree... that I've won. 116 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:20,280 That it's a container... and is commonly used as such. 117 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,720 Cool! So, I've won. LAUGHTER 118 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,480 You were supposed to bring in the best item for keeping things in 119 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:28,160 that isn't just a regular item for keeping things in. 120 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,040 All right, my bad, I-I messed up. 121 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,040 LAUGHTER 122 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,640 APPLAUSE 123 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,760 Rosie, what thing have you brought in to contain things in? 124 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,760 Why would you ever need a bag 125 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,920 when you have a bra? 126 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,000 Here it is, Rosie's bra. 127 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,760 LAUGHTER CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 128 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,520 Is that...is that a chicken wing? 129 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,840 LAUGHTER 130 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:08,600 So, if you've got eyes, 131 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:15,080 you know that I have big bazookas. 132 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,640 He hasn't stopped talking about it the whole time. 133 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:20,960 LAUGHTER 134 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:28,000 So, I'll take whatever, I'll pop it in my bra. 135 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:32,960 I've even got something in my bra right now. 136 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,880 Ah, doing a riddle? Ah! 137 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,560 There you go. Thank you. 138 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,440 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 139 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,040 One left, Greg. Andy. Yes. 140 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,480 What container have you brought in 141 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,440 that wouldn't normally be used as a container? 142 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,560 Er, well, Greg, I brought in a toilet. 143 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,640 Want to see it? There it is. I think... Oh... 144 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,240 I think we can agree that's, you know, it's a nice toilet, isn't it? 145 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:09,000 It's a lovely toilet. What are you storing in it, you weirdo? 146 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,960 LAUGHTER In a toilet! 147 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,680 It's a very, very flexible storage device. 148 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,000 Let's open her up. 149 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:16,960 LAUGHTER 150 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,320 And obviously, the cistern... Yeah. 151 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,840 ..That's your prime storage area in your average toilet, I would say. 152 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:23,600 You see, you've got your filing... 153 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,840 LAUGHTER 154 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,160 You've got pens, er, and... 155 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,800 ..a model of the 19th-cricketer WG Grace. 156 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,080 Yes, just to have a - to finish with a cricket reference. 157 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,720 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it. 158 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,440 I can score these really easily. Ready? OK, who gets 1 point? 159 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:40,960 Who do you think? Baba. 160 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,040 Correct! OK. 161 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,120 Jack, 2 points. Rosie, 3 points. 162 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,760 Er, I enjoyed Andy's thing, 163 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,280 but I just think anyone who makes an effort to design 164 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,560 something like that... Mm-hm. ..put a loaf of bread in it, 165 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,760 she's got modelling skills. She's the full package. 166 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,360 She gets the 5 points, there we are. 4 to Andy, 5 to Emma Sidi! 167 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,800 There we go. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 168 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,000 Right, let's get going, let's have a proper task. 169 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:05,320 Oh, yes, please! 170 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,120 And this one is called Five, Six, Seven, Eight by Steps. 171 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,080 Hello, Emma. Er, h-hi. Oh. 172 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,400 Pardon? Yeah, hi. 173 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,480 Emma. Yeah. 174 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:30,880 Before you start... Yeah. 175 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,680 ..please, can you give me your phone and put on that hat? 176 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,440 Give you my phone? And put on the hat. Oh. 177 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,240 Please, can you put that hat on, and give me your mobile telephone? 178 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,360 Right. LAUGHTER 179 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:43,880 Why? 180 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,360 I think you look good in a hat. 181 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,640 Thank you. OK. 182 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,960 There you go. Is that a mobile? 183 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,440 Yeah. Great. 184 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,160 LAUGHTER 185 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,920 Ah, that looks pretty good. 186 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,920 Yeah. I suit hats. 187 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,840 You really do. I'm lucky. 188 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,400 Is it one on, one in, one out? Oh, it's...OK. 189 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,920 Is that all right? Yeah. 190 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,480 Bow, come on. 191 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,920 Come, on bro, this is what I'm tryin' to say, bro. 192 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,080 I look good. LAUGHTER 193 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:20,720 "Walk exactly one furlong in exactly ten minutes. 194 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,760 "You may not make use of technology except to make 195 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,640 "three five-second phone calls. 196 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:35,840 "Also, you may not remove the hat. 197 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,920 "Closest to one furlong and ten minutes wins." 198 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,560 JACK GROANS 199 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,320 I don't know what a furlong is. 200 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,680 Do you know what a furlong is, Emma? 201 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,200 No. 202 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,280 I'm young! 203 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,120 So, that's 600 seconds. 204 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,560 Furlong is 220 yards. 205 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:58,360 That's...that's ten cricket pitches, Alex. 206 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,960 You don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that. 207 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,800 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 208 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,240 EMMA: That is amazing, isn't it? 209 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:13,240 No lack of self-esteem, as usual, with our contestants. 210 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,800 Baba has spent the whole series announcing how good he looks. 211 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,240 LAUGHTER And I'm inclined to agree! 212 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,600 I've tried some of this positive thing. 213 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,680 I looked at myself in my pants just this morning in the mirror, 214 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,320 and I thought, "I'm going to try a Baba 'bow" when I look at it. 215 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,160 And I tried, and just the word "bleak" came out. 216 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,640 LAUGHTER But I like it. 217 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,960 Let's see some stuff. 218 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,600 They're allowed three five-second phone calls. 219 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,840 We're going to begin with three detectives. 220 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,640 Emma as Inspector Clouseau, 221 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,320 plus Detective Inspector Jack Dee Frost 222 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,240 and Lieutenant Frank Colum-baba. 223 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,960 Here we go. LAUGHTER 224 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,560 I don't know how long a furlong is. 225 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:55,320 But you said I can make three five-second calls. 226 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,560 And you didn't say I couldn't call the same person three times. 227 00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,600 Let's get that. 228 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,240 Come on, bro, give me my phone. 229 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,560 If I phone my agent... 230 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,120 Mm-hm. Good agent? 231 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,840 Yeah, sh-she'll get me out of here if I ask her. Pardon? 232 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:10,040 PHONE LINE RINGS 233 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,280 VOICEMAIL: Hi, this is Fay. 234 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,400 Please leave me a message... OK...OK. 235 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,280 One of the main clients, do you think? 236 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,920 PHONE LINE RINGS JACK LAUGHS 237 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,160 Five seconds, remember. Yeah. 238 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,200 Pick up your phone, bro! 239 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,400 VOICEMAIL: Welcome to the EE voicemail... Oh! All right. 240 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:23,880 Call Mo Gilligan. 241 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,120 PHONE LINE RINGS 242 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,840 VOICEMAIL: Welcome to the O... Yeah. Call Giovan. 243 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,800 You definitely know these people? Yes! 244 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,680 I'm going to call my son. 245 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,840 PHONE LINE RINGS 246 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:36,960 Hello, you all right? 247 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,560 Miles, can you work out how long a furlong is? 248 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,920 I'm going to ring you back. 249 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:41,960 PHONE CALL ENDS 250 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,320 I'm going to give him a... a minute to find out. Hmm. 251 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,280 But then, he might ring me back, and that doesn't count 252 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,680 as a phone call, does it? Interesting. No. 253 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,160 EMMA: I'd like to call my mum, 254 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,880 but I'm worried that she'll also get worried about me. 255 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,840 Miles, did you hear? Yeah. 256 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,160 I need to... Er... 257 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,840 Oh. LAUGHTER 258 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,400 How long's a furlong? 259 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,080 EMMA'S MUM: Erm, eight, eight... 260 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,520 PHONE CALL ENDS LAUGHTER 261 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:10,920 Eight...eight. 262 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,240 Let me call her again. Third call, third call. 263 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,960 PHONE LINE RINGS This is it, Jack. 264 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,000 JACK'S SON: Hello? How long is a furlong? 265 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,160 How long is a furlong? 266 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,920 Call me back! 267 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,720 LAUGHTER 268 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,920 Oh! So, he ends up asking you how long a furlong was. Yeah! 269 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,000 Jamain! How long is a furlong? 270 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,760 And I'll call you back in five - 271 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,200 in a bit, I'll call you back. 272 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,360 Aight, call him back. Now? Yeah. 273 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,080 How long's a furlong, bro? 274 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,280 Hello? How long's a furlong? 275 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,840 A furlong? Yes! 276 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,640 Oh...d'oh! 277 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,480 All right, one more! Straight away? 278 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,320 Straight away, bro, we gotta get it! 279 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,000 Yeah, bro, quickly, quickly, quickly! How long's a furlong?! 280 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,760 220 yards, I think it is. 281 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,280 My guy! Let's go. APPLAUSE 282 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,400 Ah, he's called me back, so I can take that. 283 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:57,440 We agreed, I think. 284 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,480 Hi, M... It's 200 metres. 285 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,040 Oh, OK, thank you, Miles. Cheers. Yeah. 286 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,560 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven... 287 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,560 EMMA'S MUM: Hello? Eight what? 288 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,320 I think it's eight...eight miles? 289 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:10,840 No, that's a... PHONE CALL ENDS 290 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,200 SHE GROANS LOUDLY 291 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,040 So, that's all your phone calls. 292 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,320 Eight miles, yeah, right. 293 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,960 220 yards - I don't know how long a yard is. 294 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000 HE LAUGHS 295 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,680 32, 33... 296 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,720 61, 62, 63, 64... 297 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,400 54, 55, 56... 298 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,240 Write this down, yeah? Yeah. 299 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,160 The first person in life didn't know anything. 300 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,280 He had to, you know what I'm saying, work it out, 301 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:37,080 so therefore, always be willing to work things out. 302 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,320 You get what I'm saying? 303 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,240 How far have you walked? 304 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,720 I don't know. No. 305 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,080 Er...OK, OK, that's it. 306 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:47,680 I'm saying that's ten minutes. 307 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,560 Stop the clock - that was ten minutes. OK. 308 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,080 I'm going to stop. 309 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,320 That's the end of it, is it? Yeah, that's it. Sorry, yes. OK. 310 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,600 I should say, that's the end of it. Yeah. Yeah. 311 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,400 Anti-climax. 312 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,240 Yeah. Cheers. 313 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:03,640 Cheers, Jack. 314 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,200 APPLAUSE 315 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,640 What's your theory, Baba? 316 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,960 The first person who discovered anything had to start somewhere, 317 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,400 so you're...? 318 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,240 I might've said that. LAUGHTER 319 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,800 If you play it back, you'll understand the wisdom that I hold. 320 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,320 The wisdom of Baba. You know what I'm saying? 321 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,320 He wrote down - you wrote down a lot of my quotes didn't you? 322 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,360 Yeah, you said that dirty baths make you itchy. 323 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,560 That's all I've written down. There you go. 324 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:34,080 Jack was the only person to work out that you could get a call back - 325 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,880 which paid dividends. Yeah. 326 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,560 EMMA: I have a problem with that. That's technology. 327 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,600 That's still using technology to answer the call, isn't it? 328 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,600 Well, you're right I did say you can't use technology except 329 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,400 to make three phone calls, but then, the phone rang, 330 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,640 and it was his son, and it might have been an emergency. 331 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,760 LAUGHTER 332 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,440 I think picking up a phone is using tech. 333 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,920 Yeah. You always say that. 334 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,560 LAUGHTER 335 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,560 You did also look at your watch and claim that, 336 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,640 "It's not technology it's decorative." 337 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,040 LAUGHTER Is this tech? 338 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:08,560 It's not a Brussel sprout... on your wrist, is it? 339 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:12,200 I'm also impressed by how confident you are that your gait 340 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,560 is exactly one metre, as well. It is. 341 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,040 Oh, fine. LAUGHTER 342 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,960 So, no more discussion on that, it is.Confident. 343 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,960 Well, look, I can tell you they had to try to get exactly ten minutes 344 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,400 and exactly one furlong. 345 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,000 Emma, you were exactly 11 minutes, not bad. 346 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,360 What? 262 yards - 42 yards over. 347 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,000 OK. Jack, eight minutes, ten seconds. 348 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,120 But slightly closer to the furlong - 40 yards short. 349 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,280 Baba, you were only 23 yards over, 350 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,240 and you finished walking in nine minutes, 57 seconds. 351 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,520 Whoa! 352 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,920 AUDIENCE OOHS APPLAUSE 353 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,080 Yeah, whoa! 354 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,880 Sometimes, a man just has to be the first to do it 355 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,080 in a certain way. 356 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,880 LAUGHTER 357 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,560 Settle down, everyone! 358 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,360 Sh! 359 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,040 WHISPERING: It's break time. 360 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,400 LAUGHTER CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 361 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 362 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,520 Welcome again! You've come back just at the right time! 363 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,240 The current task involves having 364 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,480 to walk exactly one furlong in exactly ten minutes. 365 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,440 So, here we go, for the final furlongs, 366 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,800 it's Andy and Rosie. 367 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:25,440 One, two, three, four... 368 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,360 Ten runs. So, er... 369 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,080 Oh, hang on, I-I've gotta count those already. 370 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,320 Six, seven, eight... 371 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,280 ..21, 22... 372 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,960 Are you going to do this for ten minutes? 373 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,320 ..23, 24... 374 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:40,400 Alex. Yes. 375 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,720 Could you get me some cricket stumps, please? 376 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,200 I want to maybe get a couple of runs on the board early on. So... 377 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,760 One, two, three, four, five... 378 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,480 Two minutes, is it? ..six, seven, eight, nine... 379 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,240 You think that's a furlong? ..ten. 380 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:03,320 I know you measure horses... 381 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:10,200 Yes. ..in that, and that feels like a good horsey gallop. 382 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,240 Hmm. LAUGHTER 383 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,440 How many runs have you got now, Andy? 384 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:21,200 Well, that's, er... oh, I've lost count now. 385 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,760 37, 38... Do you want to make any phone calls? 386 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,200 No, I think I'm all right. 387 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,560 Cup of tea or anything? Yeah! 388 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:40,240 Five minutes - we're halfway! 389 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,520 We're halfway, great stuff. LAUGHTER 390 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,800 This is my last step. 391 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:47,360 Done. 392 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:53,120 Five, four, three, two, now! 393 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,920 Here. 394 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,160 Right, thank you. There's your tea. 395 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,440 Could you put that in my dressing room? 396 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,200 The tea? Thank you. 397 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:07,040 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 398 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,040 I mean, I don't want to keep going on about it, Andy, 399 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:18,200 but I just don't think you ever are really thinking about anything 400 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,280 except for cricket. LAUGHTER 401 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,480 I mean, was there any attempt to do the task? 402 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,200 The thing is, when you're batting, 403 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,480 you've just gotta focus on every ball. 404 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,640 Even in his answer, he drags us back to cricket! 405 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,800 It's an illness. LAUGHTER 406 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,160 It's an illness. But what an illness! 407 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,080 Yeah! It was not a bad tactic, though, I'd say, 408 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:40,240 he got nine runs, which... 409 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,120 ..the length of a cricket pitch is a tenth of a furlong, 410 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,720 so he didn't end up far off a furlong. 411 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,680 Oh. Hmm. And the minutes? 412 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,640 Er, less good, but not too bad - eight minutes, 45. 413 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,840 And 23 yards short of a furlong. 414 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,840 So, at the moment, second place. 415 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,520 You! LAUGHTER 416 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,840 I'm a fucking idiot. 417 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,320 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 418 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:07,920 I knew a furlong is something to do with horses. 419 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,960 And you felt that those few feet from the podium to the middle 420 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,360 of the lawn was, and I quote, 421 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,720 "a good horsey gallop." 422 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,480 It was! 423 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,680 How did she do? Her time-keeping, not bad. 424 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,000 Ten minutes, 25 seconds. 425 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,920 Only a little bit over.Wow! CHEERING 426 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,640 But distance-wise, she was - 427 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,680 well, she did 24 steps, which is about one 428 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,320 furlong less than a furlong. 429 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,040 LAUGHTER 430 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,840 So, that means it's 1 point to Rosie, 2 to Jack, 3 to Emma, 431 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,800 4 to Andy, but 5 to Babatunde! 432 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,200 Babatunde wins! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 433 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,160 Can I see some scores? 434 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,640 Yes. I'm going to update you on the series scores. 435 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,200 Rosie, you're last at the moment, with 114 points, 436 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,040 but only 8 points behind Emma, who's on 122. 437 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,200 3 behind Baba, on 125. 438 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,720 Jack's on 132, 439 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,080 Andy now in the lead, on 134. 440 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,960 AUDIENCE OOHS APPLAUSE 441 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,200 Must be time for another task. It is! 442 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,960 You're punctual, I'm functional, 443 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,080 and together, we're the perfect couple. 444 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:13,640 So, let's look, Greg, at some good, clean art. 445 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:14,680 Hmm. 446 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,080 Hey. Hey. 447 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,480 Hey. 448 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,280 We meet again. We meet again. 449 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,520 Who's stepped on this? 450 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,120 Yeah, that was me. I'm so sorry. 451 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,360 What's going on, bro? It's not like you. 452 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,120 Yeah, it's got a... a footprint on it. 453 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,680 Hmm, that's a shame. 454 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,440 Just wonder what went wrong there. 455 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,400 "Clean the most profound picture 456 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,840 "of majestic nature on a dirty thing." 457 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,200 That's...I don't even understand what that means. 458 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,200 Did you write that? 459 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,080 Greg Davies... Of course. ..writes the tasks. 460 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,960 Really lovely. 461 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,680 BABA: So, I just need to clean something that's dirty? 462 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,760 But you've gotta clean a picture into it. 463 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,720 Ohh! 464 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:22,640 Can I choose a dirty thing? 465 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,640 Absolutely, you can make a dirty thing. 466 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,680 SHE SNICKERS 467 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,400 LAUGHTER 468 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,040 "You have 20 minutes. 469 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,600 "Your time starts now." 470 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,280 This is too clean in here, so I'm just going to... 471 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,560 ..have a think somewhere else. 472 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,560 And by "think," I don't mean... 473 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,000 ..do a poo. All right! 474 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,560 LAUGHTER 475 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,760 Quick. 476 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,000 APPLAUSE 477 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,760 When I first head of this task, I thought, 478 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,800 "Well, Jones will probably do something in shit"... 479 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:56,920 LAUGHTER 480 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,240 ..straight away, but I was disappointed that 481 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:00,520 you joined the poo party. 482 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,520 Cheeky ladies. Cheeky. 483 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,800 Cheeky pooing ladies - what a film! 484 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,000 LAUGHTER 485 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,880 So, there might be poo involved. 486 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,840 That was a disappointing follow-up to There will be Blood. 487 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,680 LAUGHTER 488 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,080 Right, I want to see some grubby art... 489 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,440 Right. ..immediately. 490 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,320 Here comes a grubby old montage. 491 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,080 LAUGHTER 492 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,560 Found something dirty. 493 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,680 Found it...out the back of your garden. 494 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,800 EMMA: Right this is... dirty as sin. 495 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:41,880 ROSIE: I made a dirty plate. 496 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,720 Seems quite ambitious, your plan. 497 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,520 JACK: It is very ambitious. Yeah. 498 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,000 But that's me all over. 499 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,320 DRAMATIC CHORUS MUSIC PLAYS 500 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:54,600 All right. 501 00:22:58,440 --> 00:22:59,880 CROW CAWS 502 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:05,280 OK. 503 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,400 Oh, it's not a good start. 504 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:13,240 I'm going to clean Italy... into this dismembered mannequin. 505 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,680 JACK: Usually, this kind of thing happens on the back of a van, 506 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,160 doesn't it? You get - I wish my wife was this dirty. 507 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,240 Oh, that's quite fun. You know, oh, it's hilarious. 508 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,000 Yeah. It always makes me laugh. 509 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,240 You ever been to, er, New Zealand? 510 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,320 Yes. Are you painting New Zealand? 511 00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:27,920 I haven't been. 512 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,440 But I imagine that it's stunning. 513 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,520 Right. So, I guess, yes, I am. 514 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,040 What's my better side? 515 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,800 That...or that? 516 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,720 Definitely the second. Right. 517 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,120 That's good. 518 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,360 Yeah, that's comin' out, that's comin' out. 519 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,440 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 520 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:59,400 Oh...that's lovely. 521 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,840 EMMA VOCALISES HAUNTINGLY 522 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,360 There's rivers in Italy, aren't there? 523 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,400 Mountains. 524 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,960 EMMA CONTINUES SINGING 525 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,480 It's the music of splendid nature. 526 00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,400 Mount Etna. 527 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,040 You're cleaning with hot sauce. Yes. 528 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,920 JACK: That's a lamp, and there's just fog everywhere. 529 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:29,080 Yeah. 530 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,880 APPLAUSE 531 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,800 Another act of incredible arrogance from Rosie Jones. 532 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,360 Your instinct to show the majestic force of nature 533 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,120 is to get an imprint of your own face. 534 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,720 LAUGHTER It's incredible, isn't it? 535 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,160 Er, Emma's beautiful nature song... 536 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,200 Hmm. ..I was very touched by. 537 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,640 Yeah. I-I'm hoping we can employ that when we reveal everyone's art. 538 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,080 OK. OK, you want to see your first dirty picture? 539 00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:04,400 Yeah. OK, so we're looking for the most profound picture of 540 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,440 majestic nature in a dirty thing. 541 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:10,080 Let's start in the caravan with Jack's masterpiece. 542 00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,760 LAUGHTER 543 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,320 Would you like me to add music? 544 00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:20,040 Yeah, I think that's what'll save it. OK. 545 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,800 RECORDING OF EMMA SINGING LAUGHTER 546 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,160 Sorry, do you mind not laughing? I'm trying to... 547 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,360 I'm trying to look at some art here. 548 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,640 EMMA'S SINGING CONTINUES It's a lamp on the right-hand side. 549 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,120 It's the setting moon behind 550 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,640 the Tower Bridge on the left-hand side. Ohh. 551 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:35,920 See. Yeah. Erm... 552 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,160 I mean, I've gotta say, everyone instinctively laughed 553 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,040 when they saw it, but I don't think it's bad. 554 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,160 Thank you. I knew what it was. 555 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,920 Emma's haunting song took me back. 556 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,080 I imagined myself one of the cockle children of the Thames. 557 00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:49,760 LAUGHTER 558 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,480 They, er, were they a thing? The cockle children? 559 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,440 They were big rivals of the Chuckle Brothers in the early days. 560 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,480 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 561 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,520 Right, who's next? 562 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,960 We're now going to see Andy's profound picture of majestic nature. 563 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,280 This is what he did. 564 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,520 LAUGHTER 565 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,600 EMMA: That is toxic. BABA: That looks so wrong. Yeah. 566 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,160 I mean, I'm not going to be able to sum this up better than 567 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,640 Emma just has under her breath. 568 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,800 "That is toxic." Is that what you said? Yeah. 569 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,280 LAUGHING: Well, as is a lot of you know Italian history. 570 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,200 Got mountains, it's got the River Tiber there with... 571 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,840 I think Rome was the duck. 572 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,120 The duck, you called, "Il Ducky." 573 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,400 Mussolini's nickname was Il Duce, so that's... Oh, yeah. 574 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,520 ..that's what that's referring to. LAUGHTER 575 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,240 And the head with... hot sauce all over it? 576 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:39,840 That's Sicily with Mount Etna. 577 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:46,560 Is covering a dismembered leg with crap cleaning the leg? 578 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:50,600 Well, the river was made of some sort of squeezy cleaning fluid, 579 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:52,320 and the bubbles from the Fairy Liquid. 580 00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:55,960 Admittedly, the hot sauce isn't generally used as 581 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,120 an external cleaning fluid. LAUGHTER 582 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,440 But... Generally. 583 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,760 Actually, if you just down a bottle of hot sauce in a couple of days, 584 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,160 you'll be as good as new.Right. LAUGHTER 585 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,440 I-I've actually started liking it. 586 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:10,920 Right. Have you? 587 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,640 I mean, that happens, doesn't it, 588 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,840 if you stare at something long enough, I guess? Yeah. 589 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,200 I mean, I think it's shit. 590 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,200 LAUGHTER 591 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,160 OK, ready to see Baba's effort? 592 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:26,440 Yeah. Well, Baba cleaned this scene into our dirty driveway. 593 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,560 LAUGHTER 594 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,880 BABA LAUGHS What do you think it is? 595 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,000 It's a...it's a magic wishing tree. 596 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,040 Yeah, well, yes. 597 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,040 But inspired by my love for the Jackson 5. 598 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,920 As you can see, the afro 599 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,720 at the top of the tree. 600 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,600 I thought it was nuclear war. 601 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,120 LAUGHTER 602 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,800 Are you saying this is a combination of... 603 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,880 ..between a tree and one of the Jackson 5? 604 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,720 LAUGHTER 605 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,440 You can see the genius in this, can't you? 606 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,480 Can I suggest a title? Yes, please. 607 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:00,720 A-B-Tree. 608 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,960 A-B-Tree, look at that. There you go. 609 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,000 APPLAUSE It's as simple as that. 610 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,040 Right! It's break time. 611 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,640 A chance to make a cup of tea and relax. 612 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,880 Alex, go and get my blanket! 613 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,680 Really? No. Not the Dutch oven. 614 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,000 Yes, the Dutch oven! 615 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:17,880 I've been eating lentils! 616 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,080 See you in a bit. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 617 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:24,200 RECORDING OF EMMA'S HAUNTING VOCALISING PLAYS 618 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, thank you! 619 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,400 Welcome back! It's part three, 620 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,280 and I'm in the middle of critiquing some majestic artwork. 621 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,200 Correct! The most profound picture of majestic nature 622 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:40,840 cleaned onto a dirty thing. 623 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,520 That was their commission. 624 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,600 And now, it's time for Rosie's dirty protest. 625 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,000 ROSIE:OK. LAUGHTER 626 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:55,480 To the right is my long, luscious hair. 627 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,360 And then, to the left is 628 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,240 my lips and chin. 629 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,160 EMMA: Is it chocolate spread? 630 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,000 ROSIE SNICKERS 631 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,000 LAUGHTER 632 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:12,120 It is what you want it to be. 633 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,520 JACK: Hmm. I want it to be over. 634 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,040 LAUGHTER 635 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:18,800 It's not as awful as I first thought. 636 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,880 The more I stared at it, I did think it has a certain quality. 637 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,840 OK. Well there's one more to see, Greg. 638 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:28,040 We now have the singer herself - finally, here is Emma's artwork. 639 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:29,080 Here we go. 640 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:30,600 JACK: Oh, that's lovely. BABA: Wow! 641 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,440 Very nice. My God. 642 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:33,680 That is good. 643 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,880 And that's before we've put any music on it. 644 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:42,440 RECORDING OF EMMA'S HAUNTING VOCALISING PLAYS 645 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,680 It's good. Actually looks like New Zealand. 646 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,000 EMMA SINGS ALONG TO RECORDING I imagine myself on a mountain. 647 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,880 My whole life before me. 648 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,560 Well, Emma bloody hell. It's incredible. 649 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,160 How'd you - what did you clean that into? 650 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,040 Well, I-I am genuinely surprised, 651 00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,760 because I made such an error. 652 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,920 I wanted a really dirty piece of paving stone, 653 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,120 but I accidentally picked a square of actual mud. 654 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,240 LAUGHTER 655 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,360 But I brought in, like, blue washing-up liquid, 656 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,200 some green washing-up liquid, made some froth, and then, 657 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,520 eventually, I guess it did start to come together, yeah. 658 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,560 Yeah. Although it could do with a... 659 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,640 ..some sort of, you know, echo of historical atrocities in it which... 660 00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:25,080 LAUGHTER It-It would be lovely to see someone 661 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,760 goose-stepping across the mountains, wouldn't it? 662 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,960 Well, look, Greg, I'll put all five up for you, 663 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,160 then you can score away. 664 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,240 Y-You know, I'm not especially moved by yours, Andy, by your... 665 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:36,720 But you're not insulting me, 666 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:40,000 you're insulting the entire nation of Italy. 667 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,240 So be it! LAUGHTER 668 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,120 Tell you what I'm going to do. OK. 669 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,000 I'll give Andy 2 points. Ah! 670 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,680 LAUGHTER And that's purely for his ambition. 671 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:52,880 I'm going to give Rosie Jones 3 points. 672 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,240 3 to Rosie. Jack and Babatunde are dealing 673 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,120 with very different subject matters. 674 00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,600 I'll give them both 4 points. 4 to Jack and Baba. 675 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,880 Yeah, but there's no point that celebrated-in-dirt New Zealand wins. 676 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:05,320 Emma takes 5 points. 677 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,640 Congratulations, Emma Sidi, there we go. Ah! 678 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,760 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 679 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,360 Whoo! 680 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,520 How about a team task, young fellow, m'lad? 681 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,440 Ooh, yes, please, I love a team task. 682 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:17,680 I also love a gutter! 683 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:19,880 I love a cow, and I love balls. 684 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,240 LAUGHTER 685 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,440 JACK: All righty. ROSIE: Oh! 686 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,160 Mind the pineapple. Where? 687 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,520 That one. Oh. 688 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,680 Emma, Baba, Andy. 689 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,280 ANDY: Alex. 690 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:45,760 Hello! 691 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:46,960 Yes, hello guys. 692 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,120 Oh, hello. Hello, yeah, there's a task there. Yeah. 693 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,280 BABA: I've gotta be careful I-I don't want to... 694 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:53,920 EMMA: Be very careful. Yeah. 695 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,960 ROSIE: Careful, so you do it. Oh, OK. 696 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,080 "Place all the balls in the gutter, 697 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,080 "and the gutter on the cow. 698 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,160 JACK: Right, I think the gutter is that we saw on the way out. 699 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,720 And that thing. And then, get the gutter on the cow. 700 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,400 BABA: "The gutter must not enter the dome. 701 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:17,240 "You must not use anything floppy during your attempt. 702 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,280 "You must not use anything floppy during your attempt." 703 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,000 So, that means you can't just put them in a bag. 704 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,160 No. You can't do that. 705 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,960 "For every ball you touch, 706 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,560 "one minute will be added to your time. 707 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,640 "For every ball that touches the floor, 708 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,360 "ten minutes will be added to your time. 709 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:38,360 "The task is over when the full gutter of balls 710 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,960 "is balancing by itself on the cow. 711 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,440 "Fastest wins. Your time starts now." 712 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,480 What?!OK, right. THEY LAUGH 713 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:47,720 It's tough for me, that. 714 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,640 APPLAUSE 715 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,800 Well, we've seen the teams in action before, 716 00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,040 and this should be a disaster. 717 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,840 LAUGHTER Erm, shall we? 718 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:05,280 OK, well, let's begin with the team of two, shall we? 719 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,280 This is Rosie and Jackie. 720 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,480 Do we lie the cow down? 721 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:13,920 I like your thinking. 722 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,720 Yeah, boy! There we go. 723 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,160 Tip that cow! 724 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,520 Ooh. Yeah, big cow! 725 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,360 Move it. 726 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,040 Are we nearly there? We're very nearly there. Right. 727 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,960 I like this. 728 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,240 Let's see if that... that's about right. 729 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,240 You think that's flat? Yeah. 730 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,760 I'll go to the kitchen. Find me a pair of tongs. 731 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,360 Plenty of tongs in the kitchen. 732 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:42,840 We're nailing it! 733 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,480 HE GROANS 734 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,200 The kitchen's got a padlock on it. 735 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,680 Oh, is it padlocked? Yeah, it's padlocked, actually. 736 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:50,720 That's annoying. 737 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,560 Thank you for that tone of surprise that you gave us there. 738 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:56,720 Shall we...? I'm going to look in the shed. 739 00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:58,720 OK! 740 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,560 Fill that with balls... Yeah. ..without touching. 741 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,840 That'll just stop 'em falling. OK. 742 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,080 OK, come on, then. Let's give it a go. 743 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,240 We're doing it. 744 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,160 Right. 745 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:14,240 Let's - well, let's... this is a trial run. 746 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:16,200 BUZZER Oh, you've dropped that one. 747 00:34:16,240 --> 00:34:19,720 YOU dropped that one. 748 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,560 OK, I'll have a go. Slowly. 749 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,040 Ah! BUZZER 750 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,400 That's not too bad. 751 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,200 More slowly. 752 00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:32,800 OK. 753 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,720 Did you tip 'em in too quickly is... 754 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:36,720 BUZZER Oh.Oh, fuck. 755 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:37,760 LAUGHTER 756 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,280 Slow! 757 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,720 Yeah! FLATLY: Yes. 758 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,760 We're on a streak. We're on a winning streak. Yes! 759 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:46,920 Come on, let's do it! 760 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,560 Bit of team work. 761 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,600 Yes! 762 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:50,960 BUZZER No! 763 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,240 Another one on the floor. 764 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:53,880 I've been crap. 765 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,960 No! No. BUZZER 766 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,080 Oops. 767 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,480 BUZZER Oh, sorry. 768 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,080 Yeah, baby! 769 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:08,800 These are the last ones. 770 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,560 Finished. 771 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,880 That's it. We nailed that, Jackie. 772 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,280 We did! We did. 773 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:19,920 My man. 774 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:21,640 My boy. 775 00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:23,200 My hero. 776 00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:24,880 LAUGHTER AUDIENCE AWWS 777 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,600 APPLAUSE "My man, my boy, my hero." 778 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,400 How would you describe the team dynamic? 779 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,520 It's quite bickery, isn't it? 780 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,680 Yeah, but we get shit done. 781 00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:40,080 LAUGHTER 782 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,000 Rosie tends to either blame other people for failure, 783 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,520 or to celebrate it. 784 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,840 It was her dropping the balls, though, right. 785 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,760 It was both of us. It was... Er... 786 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,280 AUDIENCE AWWS We-We're a double act...Nice. 787 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,880 EMMA: No, it was definitely both of you. 788 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:54,920 Yeah, yeah. 789 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,720 Sorry, the way you were putting balls into that curly pipe... 790 00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,360 All right, mate, all right! 791 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,400 LAUGHTER 792 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,160 Bloody hell. Yeah. 793 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,520 In many ways, watching you over the series has been like 794 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,120 watching a couple who've been married for 50 years. 795 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,680 There was a lot of noise from Rosie, 796 00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:13,440 and there's a lot of this from Jack. 797 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:14,840 HE STRAINS LOUDLY 798 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,120 LAUGHTER 799 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,680 LOUDLY GROANS 800 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:20,800 But you do get shit done. 801 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:25,000 ROSIE: And the love is still there. 802 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,040 AUDIENCE AWWS It is, it is. 803 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,880 Is it? Oh, yeah. 804 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,160 Is it, Jack? 805 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,320 HE SIGHS LOUDLY 806 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,160 LAUGHTER 807 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,440 Right, that's it! One part to go. 808 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:41,120 Rosie's put a bra full of old chicken into the prize pot - 809 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:44,040 and yet, they all still play to win. 810 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,520 We'll see you back here soon. 811 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:46,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 812 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,280 RECORDING OF EMMA'S HAUNTING VOCALISING PLAYS 813 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, everyone, and well done! 814 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:00,680 You've made it to part four. 815 00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,280 Alex, can you please bring us 816 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,240 up to speed with the current team task? 817 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,760 'Sup, G-Frame? 818 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,400 Yeah, the team task is simple. 819 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,520 They need to place all the balls in the gutter, 820 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:10,800 and the gutter on the cow. 821 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:12,160 Just the team of three to go. 822 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:15,360 Here's how Andy, Baba, and bossy old Emma got on. 823 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,920 LAUGHTER 824 00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,120 ANDY: Right, but you can't touch the balls. 825 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,120 So, what're we supposed to do? 826 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,280 Well, you can pop them in here, that's not floppy. 827 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,040 You can pop the balls in the helmet. SHE GASPS 828 00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,560 Fantastic! Man like Andy! 829 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,320 Let's go, bro. 830 00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,480 So, what we moving? We moving this bad...? 831 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,440 OK. Come on, move this cow near the dome. 832 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:36,480 She's called Linda. 833 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,800 Oh! That's weirdly heavy. 834 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,360 Well, you're carrying most of it. 835 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,840 Don't body-shame Linda. But I'm just stuck here. 836 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,160 Are we allowed to attach it to the cow? 837 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,320 It does say "balance". By itself. Balance... 838 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,520 That looks pretty... That looks really good. 839 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,000 Solid. Yeah. 840 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,280 We could just get some tongs from the kitchen. Tongs. 841 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,000 Tongs from the kitchen. All right. 842 00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:59,760 I think the tongs is a really great... Ah! 843 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:01,920 EMMA GASPS Oh, they're so evil! 844 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,600 EMMA LAUGHS They are so evil. 845 00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,600 Oh, no, no, no, no! 846 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,000 No, no, no, no, no! I know! I know! 847 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,480 BABA CACKLES 848 00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,440 Found it, yeah, I've got it! 849 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:16,560 In your faces! How did you see that? 850 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,320 You saw it and you went in... Cos I'm a genius! 851 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,000 This is what I'm trying to tell you. Oh, my God! 852 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,520 I'm obsessed with my team! 853 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:22,880 Right, come on. 854 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,880 What, you just saw it on the floor? Yeah, I did. 855 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,520 SILVERWARE CLATTERS 856 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,400 OK. 857 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,160 That's probably enough. What's the tongs for? 858 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,200 You want a tennis balls rolling down there. 859 00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:36,240 Oh, I got you! 860 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,480 You're a genius, bro. Come on. Right, OK. 861 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,400 Careful does it, careful... 862 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,960 Oh, I can sort of do it at the same time. Yeah. 863 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,400 You've gotta chill. 864 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,240 Let's do this first, then we'll... OK, that's a good idea. 865 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:49,520 Go from the middle, maybe? 866 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,240 You've each got your roles. 867 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,280 Yeah. What's your role, Baba? 868 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,520 Mine, I-I hold the balls. 869 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,880 And Emma? Well, I'm just sort a supervisor, I reckon. 870 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:02,080 OK. And if it stops balancing at one point, 871 00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:03,920 I'll be there to go, "Hey". 872 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,960 LAUGHTER 873 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:08,960 Right. 874 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,800 Well, it's all looking pretty good. 875 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,160 LAUGHTER 876 00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:19,160 Right. Brilliant. 877 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,440 Nearly there. We're there, we're going to win this. 878 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,120 All right. Yo, bro. Chill out, my guy. 879 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,360 Yeah, yeah. 880 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,960 Bro, you got a space right here. That's it! 881 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,480 Stop the clock! Come on! 882 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,000 I have stopped the clock. 883 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:32,640 That was wonderful to watch. 884 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,040 Thank you. Brilliant, really, really, really awesome. 885 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,160 Yeah, yeah, come on. Come on. My guy. 886 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,680 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 887 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,000 What a journey this team's been on... 888 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,160 EMMA: Yeah. ..over this series. Yes. 889 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,480 It was very bonding, this exercise, for us. 890 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:52,960 It was excellent. Thank you. 891 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,520 Do you want to tell me some stuff? 892 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,600 So, the team of two did it pretty quickly. 893 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,480 You do get ten minutes added on for every ball that touched the floor. 894 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:00,560 Can you tell us how many? 895 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,120 There were six balls that struck the floor, 896 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:03,560 so that is an extra hour. But... 897 00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,080 EMMA AND BABA CHORTLE 898 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,040 Oh, funny, isn't it? Isn't it funny? 899 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,880 ROSIE:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! LAUGHTER 900 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,640 They took one hour, 19 minutes, and 16 seconds. 901 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,440 Plays eight minutes, the team of three. Eight minutes. 902 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 903 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,960 They were nine-and-a-half times slower - 904 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,400 that's the difference between the speed of a cheetah 905 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,960 and a running duck. LAUGHTER 906 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,120 Points-wise, they obviously get 5, but how many? 907 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:34,240 They did complete the task. 908 00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,520 Well, there's gotta be a gulf, if there's that big a time gulf. 909 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,000 Yes. Tell me the times again. 910 00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:43,000 The team of three, with six good arms - 911 00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,480 eight minutes, 21, actually, if that changes anything. 912 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,920 And the team of two - one hour, 19 minutes, and 16 seconds. 913 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,080 BABA: H-Hold on, hold on. 914 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,560 W-W-What's all of this, you've just, wi-with, six good arms... 915 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,520 ROSIE: BABA! 916 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:58,440 I've got fucking cerebral palsy! 917 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,880 UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER 918 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,080 You picked a curly pipe! 919 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,080 LAUGHTER 920 00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,360 APPLAUSE 921 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,120 5 points to this team, 3 points to that team. OK. 922 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,200 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE OK. That's it. 923 00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:21,440 OK, floppy balls, let's see the scoreboard! 924 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,600 Well, the team of three are dominating. 925 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,400 Andy and Baba both have 15 points, 926 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,640 but in the lead, it's Emma, with 18 points. 927 00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:30,120 CHEERING 928 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,680 OK, everyone, can you stay where you are and get ready 929 00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:37,360 for the final task of the show! 930 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,560 APPLAUSE 931 00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,800 VOICE CRACKS: Hello! LAUGHTER 932 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:46,840 What's the task? 933 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:50,520 Well, Emma Sidi's going to tell us the task. Emma Sidi. 934 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:55,520 "Predict whether each item will float or not float. 935 00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,160 "If you are right, you get a point. 936 00:41:58,200 --> 00:41:59,640 "Most points wins." 937 00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,160 Simple! 938 00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,560 There are ten items. Ten items. 939 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,880 Each time, Greg will hold one up. 940 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,680 You hold up the paddle which says either "float" or "not float". 941 00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:12,960 Lovely. Why doesn't it say "sink", instead of "not float"? 942 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,080 We printed them before remembering there was the opposite of float. 943 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,200 LAUGHTER Good answer. 944 00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:19,680 Greg, what's the first item? 945 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:22,520 ANGELIC CHORUS SINGS And I present... 946 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:28,080 A cactus. Float or not float. 947 00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,640 AUDIENCE AND EMMA OOHS 948 00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:33,880 DING Float!Float! 949 00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,320 APPLAUSE I present... 950 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:39,800 A milkshake. Ooh! 951 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,360 SULTRILY: I demonstrate. 952 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:42,760 LAUGHTER 953 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,600 AUDIENCE OOHS 954 00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:48,800 DING Ah!Float! 955 00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:52,280 It's a fake...shake. 956 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,640 Fuck you! 957 00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:55,320 LAUGHTER 958 00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:56,600 Item number three. 959 00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:00,720 Little duckie. It's going to be a trick. 960 00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:04,760 Is it a trick, Jack, or is it just a classic rubber duck? 961 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:08,280 I hope it's a trick, cos it will be more interesting. 962 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,080 LAUGHTER And predict!Let's see. 963 00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:14,720 Godspeed, little duck. 964 00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:16,600 BUZZER CHEERING 965 00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,240 I present... 966 00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:20,960 A lime! 967 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,400 I don't even know if a lime does float. 968 00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:24,920 In real life. 969 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:26,880 Well, this is - we'll find out. Yeah. 970 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,040 AUDIENCE OOHS 971 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:32,920 BUZZER She sinks! 972 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,720 APPLAUSE 973 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:38,280 L'orange. 974 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:39,840 AUDIENCE OOHS 975 00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,240 DING They float, for God's sake! 976 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,000 Limes are more dense than oranges, 977 00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:45,280 and more dense than water. What?! 978 00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,440 LAUGHTER A second duck. 979 00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,160 All "float" - except for Rosie Jones. For Rosie Jones. 980 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,080 You bank on two fake heavy ducks. 981 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:54,720 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 982 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:57,880 AUDIENCE OOHS 983 00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,520 DING She swims. 984 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,760 APPLAUSE 985 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,920 HE PLAYS MELODY 986 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 987 00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:17,120 DING 988 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,640 Yeah! Brilliant! CHEERING 989 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,440 A house brick. Ohh! 990 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,440 See you at the Baftas. 991 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,280 LAUGHTER 992 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:28,440 Wow. 993 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,640 AUDIENCE OOHS 994 00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:31,960 BUZZER 995 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,400 It's a brick! OK, just two items left. 996 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,240 An egg. This is a lovely twist. 997 00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,720 This is about the freshness of the egg. 998 00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,280 It's about the freshness of the egg. 999 00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:43,920 They've all gone "float". 1000 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,560 AUDIENCE OOHS 1001 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:46,920 BUZZER They are all wrong! 1002 00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,600 You are all wrong! All wrong. 1003 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:50,280 All wrong! You are all wrong! 1004 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:52,880 OK! LAUGHTER 1005 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:54,360 And finally... 1006 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,240 DRAMATIC CHORUS SINGS 1007 00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,280 Oh, plot twist! 1008 00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,360 Bad egg or good egg? 1009 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,840 Baba thinks it's a different type of egg. 1010 00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,040 AUDIENCE OOHS 1011 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,480 BUZZER It's just another egg, Baba! 1012 00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,040 LAUGHTER Let's add all this up and 1013 00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,480 see how it affects the final score! 1014 00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:16,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1015 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,240 Sink or float. A modern classic. 1016 00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,360 Yes, it looked like Andy was going to do a clean sweep. 1017 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,640 He really knew the density of objects. 1018 00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,440 Well, that's what comes with watching a lot of cricket. 1019 00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:32,480 LAUGHTER 1020 00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,600 He gets 5 points. 4 to Jack, in second. 1021 00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,000 The others get away with coming joint third 1022 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,520 to get 3 points each. 1023 00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,280 It is very tight. 1024 00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,760 There's only 1 point in it at the top. 1025 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,960 Andy has 20 points, but in the lead - and winning the episode - 1026 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,160 is Emma, with 21 points! Oh! Wow! 1027 00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:49,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1028 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,640 Emma Sidi wins! 1029 00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:58,120 Please canter up to collect your unconventional containers! 1030 00:45:58,160 --> 00:45:59,680 BABA WHOOPS 1031 00:45:59,720 --> 00:46:02,440 So, what have we learnt today? 1032 00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,920 We've learnt that sometimes, you can get caught up in 1033 00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:06,920 the mundanity of everyday life. 1034 00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:08,800 Maybe you have to get the kids to school, 1035 00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,760 maybe you have an office job which isn't fulfilling at the moment. 1036 00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:15,640 But we all have the ability to take ourselves away from it, just stop. 1037 00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:19,480 Step out, go into nature and breathe it in. 1038 00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:24,320 EMMA'S HAUNTING VOCALISING PLAYS 1039 00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:32,440 LAUGHTER HAUNTING VOCALISING CONTINUES 1040 00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:33,600 Is that... 1041 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:35,120 Is that the Jackson 5? 1042 00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,000 LAUGHTER 1043 00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:40,640 That's it, then, just the grand final to go. 1044 00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,960 But to see it out, here she is, the winner of episode nine, 1045 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,680 Emma Sidi! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1046 00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,680 Subtitles by Red Bee Media