This programme contains strong language and adult humour
Oh. Whoo!
SCREAMING
You're useless at this.
SCREAMING
Parp. Boop. Argh!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello! Welcome to Taskmaster, the answer to the question
where can I see an overweight but dashing man
get a feckless weasel with a wonky tooth
to torture his peer group for pointless tasks?
Channel Four, that's where, silly! Let's meet them now.
They are Andy Zaltzman,
Babatunde Aleshe,
Emma Sidi,
Jack Dee,
and Rosie Jones.
And next to me, a man who says that he loves
to holiday in Wales because it's so beautiful,
but longs for the day when its people are driven into the sea.
It's little Alex Horne.
Hello, Greg. Hello, there.
Hello. I've got you a present. Thank you.
Do you like cars? Do I?
Yeah, do you? Yes.Good.
Ooh, do you like Greg Davies? Hoo-hoo!
Can barely stop looking in the mirror.
Well, I think you'll like genuine personalised number plates.
Yeah? Back and front, back and front.
It's a personalised number plate for Greg Davies.
Does it say Gary Davies?
Yeah, I got muddled.
Let's crack on. What's the prize task today?
This time they've brought in the thing most likely to make you say...
Oh, Christ! Now that is bad ass.
Yes, sure, we've all probably said bad ass,
and, sure, we've all probably had bad ass,
but Greg wants to see something
that makes him say it like he means it,
and that will result in five really, really big points.
You, Emma Sidi.Yeah.
How are you gonna make me say now that is bad ass?
This is something that I own.
It's very precious to me, and I think it speaks for itself.
React to this, Greg. OK.
I know what I've got to say if it does...Hmm.
..elicit the response.Here we go.
Nothing.
Now that is bad ass.
I hate it.Cool.
I find it religiously insensitive. Yes.
I don't. I think God and Jesus would love that.
God and Jesus. God and Jesus!
Well, and the spirit as well. The three...
I don't think any of the big three would like that.
Whatever. Whatever. I think it's horrible.
Yeah. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Baba.Yo.
Are you gonna make me say wow, this is bad ass?
I 100% will. How's your footwear nowadays, bro?
You got your sock game on lock, I won't lie.
Yeah.I got something that... Better than these shoes?
100% way better than your shoes.
Show them what I got him.
He's gonna get you these shoes, Greg.
All right.Nike Air Force One.
Let me tell you something, yeah, so now when you come to like
the ends, right, you wear white Air Forces.
When I come to the...The ends. The ends?The ends, bro.
Watch Top Boy, bruv. OK.
There's a lot of work for me to do before I can say these are bad ass.
Everyone's gonna say it for you.
All you need to do is just rock up with a pair of white Air Forces,
but this is the thing, you can't just rock up with
a pair of Air Forces, right.
You've gotta laugh, but the laugh has to be smooth.
You've gotta be like... Ha-ha-ha-ha!
What situations am I gonna do this in, Baba?
Well, I'm just trying to inject some youth into you.
You're the one that's turned, like, what did you say,
like 75 or something? Feels like that. Feels like it.
But I don't know whether I'm gonna feel more youthful
if I go into any situation and go ah-ha-ha-ha
with a pair of white trainers.
I'm not gonna lie, that laugh was good though. Yeah?
You know, you know, like it felt good.
Hello, Rosie.Hiya. What have you brought in?
So I've brought in something,
and then I've also brought in a promise.
Hmm.Ooh. AUDIENCE: Oooh!
Let's dance.
Well, there's nothing more bad ass
than a tattoo.
I've got two. One, two.
And I've got a third one ... here.
Announcing you've murdered someone. Wow. That's quite bad ass.
So the promise is
if you don't award me quite highly...
Yeah...I'll do it again.
Good. Thank you, Rosie.
Jack.Yeah. Are you bad ass?
I'm popular in the world of hip-hop and rap.
And so I borrowed something from a rapper friend of mine,
and he sent me one of his outfits, and he's pretty famous as well
so I, you know... You'd rather not.No, he's,
I'll give you the name, he's called TK Maxx.
I know that guy.Yeah.
And he just said, "Whatever you need I'm sending it to you."
Greg, is this bad ass?
Er...no.
That would be the outfit I would wear
if I was unloading an angel from the back of a van.
Anyway, it's your choice.
I've made my choice.
It is not bad ass.Yeah.
Only Andy Zaltzman can save us.
Those are dangerous words, Greg.
Well, I thought, you know, what would make you say bad ass,
so I made you a work of art.
Let's reveal Andy's work of art. Here we go.
Now that is a bad ass.
Also, I mean let's look at the quality of the painting.
Let's.That's bad, isn't it? Oh, it's just bad.
That's... It's a bad ass. Yeah.
And it's bad ass.Yes.
See, Emma, how this works?
Go back and see that cherub cos after all this
you're gonna be like "Well, my god."
Stick the cherub back up for us. OK, here is the bad ass cherub.
Yeah.
Shit.
Which one would make you say bad ass least?
It's between Jack's awful moving outfit
and Emma's bad ass angel.
Shall I be really nice and give them both two?
Pair of trainers as well in that mix?
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let him make his decision.
Oh, no, he's right though. No, he's not right.
He is right. What're you doing?
Well picked up on. I'll give two points to all of those people
and then we'll jump up. I think we've got to reward Zaltzman.
He created the correct ass for the situation.
I'm gonna give him five points, and I'll give this murderer four.
Five, four, two, two, two. Well done.
Right, let's get going.
OK, let's take things to the next level.
Hi, Alex. Andy.
Gold this time. It's nice, nice little touch.
Ooh.
Can I open this? It's a task probably.
Here we go. That's what we want.
Not that gold shit.
Push the...push the envelope the furthest.
You have half an hour.
Your time starts now.
I could say some outrageous things.
See if that pushes the envelope. Get myself cancelled.
Is it a phrase?
Is it rude?
Like pushing the envelope?
What do you use this pillow for, what's this supposed to do?
Present my nuts on it to my wife.
Have you ever pushed the envelope before?
Yeah. What did you do?
I dressed as Spongebob Squarepants to a fancy dress party.
And everyone was like, "We don't do that in Guildford."
And I was like, "I do."
Do that when I come into the room,
like, "Hey! Happy Valentines!"
Right, I'm gonna take the envelope.
Excuse me.
Right, that's better. OK. See you in half an hour or so.
Surprisingly heavily sexual from three out of five of you.
You were asked to push the envelope, and within seconds
Jones had compared it to a vagina, I presume.
Of course.
I haven't heard of the phrase push the envelope, ever.
It...It could be rude.
What you're saying is if you don't understand any phrase
in the English language, you assume it's sexual.
Yeah. Right, fine.
So if like some people have walked past you and said,
"Oh, a rolling stone gathers no moss,"
and you've gone, "Tell me about it." Ooh!
Shall we crack on? I think we should.
We're gonna begin by watching Emma and Rosie push their envelopes.
Oh, god.
I'm gonna push the envelope
within myself.
You're gonna push the envelope within yourself.
What does that mean? I'm gonna eat the envelope.
I am gonna push the envelope the furthest.
Here I go.
Maybe I can get my own cooking show.
Nigella meets Rymans.
Lovely.
Little bit of garlic.
Oof, missed it briefly.
Right, there you go.
To Greg, Taskmaster. Love hearts.
And there's actually a letter inside, but it's private.
There you go, mate. Pushed it.
Chin chin, bottoms up.
Chewy.
That must have driven you over the edge, didn't it? The smoothie?
Well, I just hope you give her enough shit for being
a smoothie girl as well.
She's revealed her true colours there. She loves a smoothie.
Glugged it down, didn't you?
I was all willing to just eat the paper.
Yeah, they made you turn it into a smoothie.Yeah.
For your own safety.Yes. Yeah.
And we should, we still need to say you shouldn't eat an envelope,
you also shouldn't drink an envelope. Yeah.
You did chug it down, is that pushing the envelope?
I was pushing the envelope
by pushing the envelope
down my gullet.
And, ultimately, out of your bot-bot.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what?
It was still a bit gold.
Emma, I will say I thought you did great cartwheels.
Thank you. And you could still be in the game
cos I haven't read your letter yet.
Oh, my god. Letter.
I don't know what I said.
No-one knows what you said because you said it was private.
Oh, no.
I think I was having a weird week.
Ah. Well.
It is...
..polite.
It literally says, "I hope you've had a good week."
Emma!
OK, who's next?
OK, well next up it's A, B, C, D, Jack Dee.
There's your envelope.
How's your day going, Jack?
Not as dignified as I thought it would.
It didn't work. I wasn't happy with that.
All I've written is "Well, that will save BAFTA some money
"for your In Memorandum film."
Yeah.
And the sooner they play it, the better.
Absolutely heartbreaking. It pushed the envelope
and it made me genuinely feel quite emotional.
Hmm, yeah. In total, on that day, he pushed the envelope three miles.
I would've carried on but the crew caught up with me
and said I had to stop.
Well, the time had run out quite a long time,
about the two mile mark the time had run out. Yeah.
Kept on going. Oh, nice.
Right, break time.
Let's end on a high with some of Alex's impressions.
It's Alex's impression hour! Ready? No. Donald Trump.
Hey, how...Howdy, guys.
I can't do impressions. Gregg Wallace.
You wanna eat your dinner?
Camilla Parker Bowles.
Good evening, everyone.
See you at the BAFTAs! I can't do impressions.
Hello again!
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
where the competitors are pushing the envelope.
Oh, yes. They could do pretty much anything
to impress Greg with this one,
to extend the limits of what's possible.
Or you could just pace about a bit with a letter in a wheelbarrow.
Last up, it's Baba and Andy.
All right, how do I push this thing?
I could make a bowl out of it, look.
It's a bowl. Someone get me milk and cereal.
Are you talking to me?
Yes.
Right, you little paper monstrosity.
Where is it, you pathetic little failed origami pigeon?
I wouldn't lick you if you were the last envelope on earth.
Where is it? Tell me where it is.
How do you make cereal? Do you put the milk...?
You look like you put the milk in first. Always milk first.
How very dare you. Who does that?
Wanna talk now, my slightly crumpled friend?
Answer the question! Answer the question!
I ain't gonna eat this. I think you should eat a little bit.
No, my guy. I don't drink cow's milk.
If I drink this, you will hear me
in the toilet going, "Moo," you know what I'm saying?
I'll really be mooing up that toilet.
Maybe this'll make you talk.
Oh, yeah? Do you wanna be next?
Tell me what you know, or God help me,
I will shred you, I will shred you.
Last chance. I know you wanna tell me. Talk.
I knew it!
I did it. I stole the life cast of Alex Horne.
I shrank it and I hid it in a wooden box under a cow.
I knew you'd break eventually.
Here comes the aeroplane. Yeah!
Come on. Nice, innit?
Right.
There it is. Looks like he's been working out.
Mystery solved.
I pushed that envelope good and proper.
Andy, very creative. Genuinely disturbing.
Thanks. I just think this show is just revealing you to be
just not the person everyone thought you'd be.
It's revealing me to be
not the person I thought I was, to be honest.
From episode to episode you're getting more and more terrifying.
It's very good, Andy,
and quite the contrast jumping from that
to Baba feeding cereal
into your stupid face from an envelope.
Can I just say something?
I pushed the envelope to its limits. I made it into a bowl.
I mean it doesn't matter how emphatically you've taken it.
Do you scream "Nice, innit" into the face of your young children
when you're feeding them?
I do as well!
OK, but who pushed it the least far, who pushed it the furthest?
I feel like I'm... Do you feel like a bit picked on today, Emma?
I can't think how I'm gonna not put you last
when you did three cartwheels
and then wrote me a letter asking how I was.
So it's one to Emma. Baba, two points.
Two to you, Baba.
Hmm. OK, I'm gonna give Rosie three points.
He went for a walk.
He walked three miles and his heart's not up to it.
Three to Rosie. I'm gonna be led by emotion.
And the one that moved me the most emotionally was Jack
who was pushing an envelope three miles.
So four points to Andy, five points to Jack.
Hey.Hmm. Let's have a scoreboard.
All right, well, the team of two, Jack and Rosie,
are in joint second with seven points.
But in the lead, it's Andy Zaltzman with nine points.
What's next please, Horne?
Well, we're off to a scare maze.
SCARY MUSIC PLAYS
Hiya!
Hi, Rosie.
Man like?
Hello, Baba. Hey. You look nice.
Yes, bro. Come on, man, look at the outfit, bruv.
I make this look good, I'm not gonna lie to you, bro.
Yo, I'm the hottest hotdog you've ever seen in your life.
I agree...oh, you're still talking, yeah. Come on.
So whatever you do on this task will be worth twice
the number of points for you. See you in a minute.
BELL CLANGS
Bye-bye. Bye.
There's a carrot on your back.
Take a bite out of Alex's carrot.
Alex's carrot? Is that a euphemism, or is that an actual carrot?
Alex will ring his bell every ten seconds.
You must laugh constantly throughout.
No problem there!
You must both only walk at a gentle pace.
No problem there!
Fastest wins.
Fastest wins. Your time starts now.
Ah-ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
ROSIE LAUGHS
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
LAUGHING VOICES BLEND
It hurts me to say, Baba,
but you actually did look quite good in a hotdog.
Come on, bro. This is what I'm saying, bro.
Yeah, should've brought it instead of the trainers.
Let's crack on with it, shall we?
Yeah. We're gonna start with a happy Jack and a rambling Rosie.
BELL CLANGS JACK "LAUGHS"
ROSIE LAUGHS
BELL CLANGS
BELL TINKLES
BELL CLANGS
Ah-ha, got it.
Oh, you're not Alex, are you?
Oh, fuck.
You're not Alex!
That's wrong. It's not even Alex.
BELL TINKLES JACK LAUGHS
BELL CLANGS ROSIE LAUGHS
BELL CLANGS
ROSIE LAUGHS
JACK LAUGHS BELL CLANGS
BELL TINKLES BELL CLANGS
JACK LAUGHS
BELL CLANGS
JACK LAUGHS
BELL CLANGS
JACK LAUGHS
Is that Alex?
Yes, is that you, Jack? Hmm, yeah.
Where are we?
Well, I know the way out. I will see you outside. Goodbye.
No!
Oh, bloody hell, Alex.
Well, an absolute vision of hell in many ways
watching both of you go through that dystopian nightmare
made so much worse by me realising for the first time
that Rosie Jones has got Daddy written across her back.
Course I do.
I felt she was relentless.
Well, she was. Got me in three minutes 49.
Oh, wow. Jack has the best laugh to carrot noise
that I think we'll see tonight.
He went ha-ha-ha-nom-nom.
Three minutes 26 for Jack. It was a pretty... Oh.
..pretty close race. Just over three minutes.Mm-hmm. Lovely.
Now it's time to get giddy with Emma Sidi. Uh-oh.
Ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha...
BELL CLANGS EMMA "LAUGHS"
BELL TINKLES
BELL CLANGS
Ha-ha-ha-ha...
Hm-hm-hm...
SHE SQUEALS
Alex! It's a doppelganger!
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
You bastard!
Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha, ha-ha.
BELL TINKLES
BELL CLANGS Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Hee-hee-hee-hee.
Ha-ha-ha- Oh, there are two bells!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. BELL TINKLES
Alex! Ha-ha-ha...
BELL TINKLES
They're swapping bells.
Swapping bells, you bastards. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
BELL TINKLES
Hello, Emma.
It's really infuriating that.
That other bloke.
What other bloke? No. Ugh. I'm not doing that.
No? Wind-up. Bye-bye.
I wish more people would shut him down like that.
"No, I'm not doing that." It worked a treat.
I'd clearly had enough, which really worries me.
How long was that?
It felt like a long time, and I felt like you went from
someone doing quite a fun comedy laugh
to someone who could kill.
Yeah.
And the tipping point for me was this...
"Ah-ha-ha-ha. Hee-hee."
All three of you walked 300 metres.
They took three minutes, you took eight minutes.
Could've been longer. I could've kept that going for hours, I think.
There was no way you were gonna catch me.
Because she was going too slowly. Yeah.
We all had fun.
Hee-hee-hee!
OK, time for another break.
Hopefully there will be an overseas advert
that has been badly dubbed in English so that the company can save money,
followed quickly, I hope, by a nuclear apocalypse.
It's what we deserve.
It's genuinely my birthday.
Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster,
where the bellend's got a bell and he won't stop ringing it.
Yeah, I suppose that's true.
Just two people to go, and one of them's dressed as a hotdog.
It's Andy Zaltzman, and playing for double points,
it's Babatunde Aleshe.
BELL CLANGS Ha-ha-ha-ha.
BELL CLANGS, BELL TINKLES
Ha-ha-ha-ha...
Ah, I've got you!
Yes! I've got your carrot, bruv. Don't try it, bro.
Yes, I'm the man!
I won, right?
Ha-ha-ha-ha...
Can I have a...? Yeah.
Oh, that's the good stuff.
I won. Say it.
Say it. I don't wanna say it.
But you know I won.
Did you expect that, Baba, when you entered this show
that you would end up chasing a man so that you could bite his carrot
whilst dressed as a hotdog? No, I didn't, no.
And did you expect to be shouting "I'm the man" afterwards?
Well, to be fair, I don't mind me saying it.
He still needs to say it. I think you're the man,
but he wants me to say that he's the man.
I don't mind you saying he's the man if you do it with conviction.
You the man.
Very good. By stark contrast I've written it down somewhere
how did Andy celebrate?
Well, he had a second bite of a carrot.
And do you remember what you said after you had the second bite?
Well, it varies from carrot to carrot with me.
You said "Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff."
Well, we know Emma was eight minutes,
and gets one point for that. Aw.
Rosie, 3.49, Jack, 3.26,
Andy was two minutes 55, comes second place though
because Baba did it in 35 seconds, so well done. Come on.
Ten points. Straight in.
So, Andy, you get four points, but, Baba, you get ten points.
One more task proper, please, small boy.
I'm the man. Sure thing, ding-a-ling.
Get ready to check out my versatile new jacket.
Can I help?
No. I'm on a turntable, Jack.
Mm-hmm. Spinning around.
You're not really though, are you? You're turning round.
Oh, look. Mm-hmm.
Feels a bit personal. Whoo.
Pick the Taskmaster's locket from its pocket.
Every time you pick an incorrect pocket, you must high five Alex.
If you touch, tamper with, or peek into a pocket, you must pick it.
Fewest pockets picked wins.
You have a maximum of 15 minutes. Your time starts now.
May I touch you?
Why are you spinning?
It's just the setting.
Oh. It's a wind-up.
Have we got a moment just to replay what I think might be
the creepiest moment in Taskmaster history.
Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Here it is.
May I touch you?
18 series and I've never felt a shudder like it.
What's wrong with that?
- It's about consent. - Yeah!
It is about consent.
Thank you.
First to locate the locket, it's Jack and Baba.
OK, so I'm thinking there's gonna be a,
some sort of locket in one of those pockets. Hmm. Yeah, yeah.
Is that the locket?
No, it's lipstick. Shall I put it there? Yeah.
I'll put it here. What's this? Chinese five spice.
Chinese five spice.
But there's nothing in there, is there, other than that.
It's a bloody raisin. Oh, OK. Oh.
Pow! Found a locket yet?
No, that's a dog biscuit. OK.
What's in here? No. It's the bloody rocket. Pow.
You take a lot of stuff around with you, don't you?
Yeah. 108 pockets. I can see that.
Another rocket. Big up yourself.
No, that's... that's something else.
So that's just a bag of... That's my bag of yellow, yeah.
Bag of yellow. Mm-hmm. Fair enough.
Big up yourself.
Don't trust sound people or make-up artists. Hmm.
That's a bit bad, innit?
I trust sound people and make-up artists. Why wouldn't you?
Well, you shouldn't. Yeah, good advice, thank you.
Mm-hmm. But not what we're after. Right.
Keys. Hmm. What do I open this with?
Ah. This might be it.
No, it's a compass. It's a compass with my name on it.
Babatunde. Ah, it says my name on it. Come on.
There's a picture of me. Yeah. Nice.
I've just got... Yeah, OK. ..couple of things with your names on it.
That's very thoughtful.
Oh, my days with this stupid-arse rocket, man. Getting on my nerves.
Stone with Y written on it. Ah.
These are starting to annoy me. The rockets? Too many of 'em.
Why have you got milk? Thirsty. Yuck.
There's an eye. Mm-hmm. So...
Hey! Pick the locket from the pocket...?
That's a padlock.
Oh, for goodness sake. The man ain't won! What the hell?
Five and a half minutes left to find this locket. Left.
Another pebble. So it spells YOU. Right.
I don't think that's got any relevance,
to be honest. Right, OK. Yeah.
I've found the other eye though. Ah!
There we go.
The locket is in your pocket.
No, it ain't.
I ain't got no locket in my pocket.
Ha-ha!
HE GROWLS
Ah. There you are. You got the locket.
How'd you do that? Are you like David Copperfield now, are you?
And there's a piece of hair in there as well.
It's got my own hair. That's, that's OK.
Well, I shall treasure that.
I mean neither of you thought there might be
a faster way of doing this. Just went route one.
Well, how were we supposed to know
that there was a locket in our pocket?
I realised afterwards cos you'd,
someone took my jacket to do something and I should've...
You know, trustingly I said, "Yeah, of course, thank you."
I thanked them. I thanked them.
Do you wanna know how many pockets they picked? Yes, please.
Babatunde, 41 incorrect pockets.
Jack, 70.
Would you like to see Rosie Jones' locket adventure?
Let's go.Rosie Jones.
I don't think it's in this
cos that would be obvious.
Ooh, can I pick that one?
Don't trust sound people or make-up artists.
Well, you don't need to tell me that.
They're all pieces of shit.
Is it in your pocket?
You said no.
But I don't trust you.
You've got his wallet? Yeah. Right.
Ooh, is it on me?
Oh, my god!
You sneaky bugger.
Well done, Rosie. Don't trust anyone.
I just wanna make it clear that when Rosie was told
not to trust sound and lighting people, she said, and I quote,
"You don't need to tell me that, they're all pieces of shit."
I mean it.
And you then went on
to blatantly steal money from a soundman's wallet.
Yeah. Neil was lying to me.
The least I could do was rob him.
He wasn't lying to you. Of course.
And fast, surely?
Well, it's all about the number of pockets picked. Yes.
Five of Neil's, five of her own, three of mine, so 13 in total.
13.13 pockets. It's good.Very good.
We're stopping again.
One part left to go, and at the end of it
someone will stroll proudly out of the studio
carrying a sculpture of a cherub wearing sunglasses,
and a painting of a banged-up donkey.
This isn't a cheese dream, we're all being paid for this.
We'll see you in part four.
Welcome back. It's part four,
and Alex has a stupid jacket on.
It's not stupid, actually. You're stupid...
..ly attractive.
Yes, they have to find the locket
by picking the fewest pockets possible.
Two left, it's Andy and Emma.
OK, I'm just gonna take a second.
The Taskmaster's locket.
Doesn't necessarily mean it's one of your pockets though, does it?
Are there clues in your pockets?
All I do is spin round. OK.
So there's bits of paper in some of these pockets
by the looks of it. Are you peeking?
I'm overviewing. Peeking is,
that's a specific pocket, I'd say. All right.
Well, some action.
Obviously there's a great big statue of the Taskmaster outside. Mm.
Can that count as a locket?
It's not a locket and it wasn't in a pocket, Andy.
OK, I think I'm gonna have to pick a pocket.
Excuse me.
So that appears to be Richard Herring on a red fish.
Half your time gone.
Chinese five spice.
That's the spice for me.
Right, I need an alternative pocket again.
How many minutes have I got left? Four-and-a-half.
Four-and-a-half, OK. I'll use it wisely.
You've got three minutes, Andy.
Right, I've found a pineapple and some string.
Was it in a pocket? Well, not yet, but I could put it in a pocket.
OK, let's take that one out then.
What's this? My milk.
Milk? My milk.
Your milk? My milk. Do you want it now?
But you are running out of time. I see, I see that.
I'll tell you what, I'll put the milk there.
Well, it feels like you're tampering.
TOY SQUEAKS
Well, I think lockets are passe. Yeah?
Don't like lockets. Never liked 'em, actually.
Are you off, Andy? Yeah, I'm done.
Right, I don't wanna be weird...
..I found this in my pocket earlier.
So I've done it, have I?
Yeah, you didn't pick any incorrect pockets. Yeah.
Brilliant. Hmm.
Now that was bad ass.Yeah.
So I'm a girl that likes a clean line.
Yeah.So whenever I'm going out, you know,
you wanna, you don't want shit in your pockets, right?
You don't want stuff in your pocket. Do not want shit in your pocket.
So I was just about to do it, and going, like, "Hang on, wait, what?"
OK.
Let's do this.
That's my story.
It's a different story to Andy's story.
Andy's I wrote down just to make sure I got it right.
He picked about four or five pockets,
he tried to redefine what a locket is.
Yeah, I went to try and find the nearest available snooker club,
thinking that maybe one of their snooker table pockets
would have...
..a packet of Lockets in it. Anyway.
I mean, I remember, as we recorded that
thinking how annoying it was, and having seen back
I'd forgotten that I'd almost solved it in the first second. Yeah.
Yeah.That is a fuckload more annoying now, so.
It's also quite annoying that
we think the locket's probably still in your pocket. Oh, right, OK.
So it's zero points to Andy on that one.
Jack, two points for you, three to Baba,
four to Rosie, but five to Emma Sidi. Congratulations.
Let's see a scoreboard. Yes, please.
Well, I think the hotdog helped. Baba's on the top with 17 points.
Right, everyone, will you please make your way
to the stage for the final task of the show.
Who will be reading the task out, young fellow m'lad?
Baba. OK.
Gather a herd of animals with exactly 22 legs.
You may not harm any animals.
You may only use animals on either side of this wall
and you may not use each other.
On Alex's whistle, you must hurl one of your herd over the wall.
When your herd has 22 legs, only then may you don your tutus.
First team in tutus wins.
Each of them have six animals on their bench,
and that's where the herd lives.
You've got a flamingo with one leg, a kangaroo with two,
a sick dog with three legs,
Patatas the cat with four legs,
a monster there with five legs, and an ant with six legs.
You've gotta throw something every 15 seconds,
that's when I'll blow the whistle.
If you don't do the maths correctly within the 15 seconds
and another animal comes over,
and you've missed the tutu opportunity, it carries on.
Got it.Good luck. I'm gonna start the clock...now.
Choose your animals...
We're going for three.
OK, well maybe don't say it out...
Pick up an animal, get ready to throw.
You're gonna be throwing on the whistle.
Three, two, one...
Lovely, put that on the bench.
That's 22.
Task complete. Done.
Wow. They did it.
Well, not many people'd be brave enough to say it, I will.
The show's been great, that was rubbish.
Come down here, we'll add that to the final scores.
What a glorious anti-climax.
It may be one of my favourite tasks ever.
It's really made the scoreboard interesting.
Cos the team of three gets five points each for that.
The team of two, zero.
And the winner is... Baba with 22 points.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Babatunde Aleshe wins.
Please bowl up to brandish your bad ass belongings.
So what have we learnt from today's show?
We've learnt that Taskmaster, it's a silly old show really,
but at times it has the capacity to move.
The haunting image of Jack Dee strolling heroically into the sunset,
his destination unknown, pushing that envelope,
will forever be etched on all of our minds.
And let's also not forget Baba's nuts on a pillow.
And here he is again tonight, cos he's the winner,
it's Babatunde Aleshe!
Subtitles by Red Bee Media