1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,960 {\an2}This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:08,640 {\an2}HE SIGHS Aw. 3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,720 {\an2}Woo! 4 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:14,320 {\an1}SHE SCREAMS 5 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,400 {\an2}I mean, you're useless at this. 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,480 {\an1}SCREAMING 7 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:21,600 {\an2}Prrp. 8 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,680 {\an2}Eurgh! 9 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,320 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 10 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:33,920 {\an2}Hello! 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,760 {\an2}Hello. Thank you. 12 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,120 {\an2}I'm Greg Davies, welcome to Taskmaster. 13 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,640 {\an2}Daddy's back, and he's got five naughty children who need to sit 14 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,040 {\an2}on the naughty step. 15 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:45,720 {\an2}Let's hope they behave themselves 16 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,600 {\an2}and do well in the tasks, because... 17 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:51,160 {\an2}..Papa has big slippers and a hair trigger spanking arm. 18 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,280 {\an1}LAUGHTER CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 19 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,640 {\an2}So... 20 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,000 {\an2}Here we go, 21 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,480 {\an2}please welcome our five formidable fighters. 22 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:06,040 {\an2}They are Andy Zaltzman... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 23 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:09,080 {\an2}..Babatunde Aleshe... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 24 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,080 {\an2}..Emma Sidi... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 25 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:14,000 {\an2}..Jack Dee... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 26 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,920 {\an2}..and Rosie Jones! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 27 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,360 {\an2}And sitting next to me, a man who secretly confessed to me 28 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:27,440 {\an2}that he finds all women's sport slow, boring and undignified. 29 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,560 {\an2}Little Alex Horne! 30 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,160 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 31 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,360 {\an2}Hi, Greg. Hi. 32 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,040 {\an2}Well, look, I thought we should go mad at the beginning 33 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,120 {\an2}and have a game of charades. Yeah? 34 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,200 {\an2}Yeah. You up for that? Yeah. OK, here we go. 35 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:45,120 {\an2}This is the only one. Ooh, look. Hmm. OK. 36 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,520 {\an2}Can of beans, yeah? 37 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:50,560 {\an2}Ooh, look, there's Jack Dee. Ooh, but also watch this, huh? 38 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,000 {\an2}TINNY VOICE: Hello, Greggy. 39 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,480 {\an2}Ooh. What is it? 40 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,360 {\an2}Look, it can say anything at all. We can say anything. 41 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:01,840 {\an2}Anything. 42 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,200 {\an2}Do you know what it is? What? 43 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:04,520 {\an2}Jack and the beans talk. 44 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:09,920 {\an2}Jack and the beans talk! AUDIENCE GROANS, CHEERS, APPLAUDS 45 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,200 {\an2}Good one. 46 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,520 {\an2}Right, first prize task of the series. 47 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,960 {\an2}What's the category, Alex? 48 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,160 {\an2}I was shocked when you told me it, Greg, because 49 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:21,120 {\an2}it's the best thing that has been inside you. 50 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,880 {\an2}I know. Unbelievable, 51 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,040 {\an2}my mum's watching this and I've been inside her. 52 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,440 {\an2}Greg will give five points for the thing he thinks is best 53 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,640 {\an2}and at the end of the episode, the overall winner will take home 54 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,600 {\an2}something that has been inside each of 55 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,520 {\an2}the four people they've been sitting next to 56 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,880 {\an2}and themselves. Yummy in my tummy. Your turn. 57 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,040 {\an2}Andy Zaltzman. 58 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,240 {\an2}Yes, yes, Greg. 59 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,320 {\an2}What have you brought that's, um, been inside you? 60 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,680 {\an2}Well, the best thing that's been inside me Greg is my lung. 61 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,160 {\an2}Here is Andy's lung... 62 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:50,600 {\an1}AUDIENCE GROANS 63 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,200 {\an2}Hmm. Oh, God. 64 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,360 {\an2}..that the winner's going to take home. 65 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,960 {\an2}But that's not Andy's lung, is it? 66 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,840 {\an2}Because otherwise, Andy would be dead. 67 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,280 {\an2}Well, it just gives me a great incentive 68 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,720 {\an2}to win this show so I get them back at the end. 69 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,440 {\an2}Have you had those lungs inside you? 70 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,280 {\an2}Yes, I have. You have not! 71 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,440 {\an2}I have, I have. 72 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,400 {\an2}You don't like it? I don't like them, no. 73 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,560 {\an2}Mm-hm. They don't work within the remit of the task. Right. 74 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:17,280 {\an2}And they make me feel sick. 75 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,320 {\an2}Baba, what thing have you brought in 76 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,720 {\an2}that I might like, that you've had inside you? 77 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,760 {\an2}I brought something that you will definitely like. 78 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:27,600 {\an2}It is a Jamaican oxtail. It's beautiful. 79 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,480 {\an2}I'm Nigerian, but I love Jamaican food, so that's what I've brought. 80 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,720 {\an2}And this is some oxtail stew here. 81 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,000 {\an2}I'm not going to lie. That looks disgusting. 82 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,520 {\an2}But I'm telling you it tastes delicious. 83 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,960 {\an2}You know what I'm saying. Has that been inside you? 84 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,680 {\an2}Yes. Same batch? 85 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,280 {\an2}Same batch. I mean, the idea of this, 86 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,200 {\an2}that you bring slightly surprising things in, Baba. 87 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,280 {\an2}You've just brought in the thing that you like to eat. 88 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,360 {\an2}Yes! "Yes!" 89 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:53,720 {\an2}Baba, it looks delicious, 90 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,800 {\an2}apart from the sticks that have been thrown on top of it. 91 00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,720 {\an2}Emma, what have you brought in 92 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,160 {\an2}that you might have had inside yourself, or you have had inside? 93 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:06,480 {\an2}So, cos it's the best thing that's been inside you, right? 94 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:07,520 {\an2}Yes. 95 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,800 {\an2}I have brought in my ex, 96 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,640 {\an2}as represented by a USB stick. 97 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:22,840 {\an2}So, I've uploaded a huge amount of material about his life. 98 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:27,160 {\an2}It's a bloke. And, uh, he is just a legend. Uh... 99 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,480 {\an2}Is he an actual legend? 100 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,560 {\an2}Yeah, no, he's not an actual, well, he's just... 101 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,640 {\an2}He's not King Arthur. Excuse me! 102 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,680 {\an2}But the winner gets to plug it in and have a good look. 103 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,720 {\an2}And as a boyfriend, what was his best quality? 104 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,120 {\an2}Just, like, nice to be around. He dumped me. 105 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,680 {\an2}AUDIENCE: Aww... 106 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,760 {\an2}Did he eject you safely? 107 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,680 {\an2}He did. He did. 108 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:55,680 {\an2}Hello, Jack. Hello. 109 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,120 {\an2}You all right? Yes, very well, thank you, Greg, yeah. 110 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,240 {\an2}OK. LAUGHTER 111 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:01,800 {\an2}What have you had inside you? 112 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,200 {\an2}I've brought in, uh, my, well, 113 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,840 {\an2}one of my favourite toothbrushes. 114 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,440 {\an2}Um, which I had, uh, I used... 115 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,800 {\an2}I liked it so much, I used it for several years... 116 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,280 {\an2}And, um... AUDIENCE MEMBER GROANS 117 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,600 {\an2}Thank you, yeah. 118 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,680 {\an2}So I bought this one in 2012, and, uh, 119 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,600 {\an2}I used it until 2022 or something. 120 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,320 {\an2}AUDIENCE MEMBER GROANS LOUDLY Here it is. 121 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,640 {\an2}ALL GROAN No! 122 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,200 {\an2}Yeah, there it is. Yeah. Jesus Christ, Jack. 123 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,960 {\an2}It...it...it did discolour in the end. 124 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,400 {\an2}When we told Jack about the competition, 125 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,760 {\an2}you told him to bring in... 126 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:33,920 {\an2}It was to bring in a good prize, right? 127 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,920 {\an2}Not to just clear out the shit from his garage? 128 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,840 {\an2}Rosie Jones, what have you had inside you that you deemed 129 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,600 {\an2}appropriate to bring on the show? 130 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,240 {\an2}It is a letter opener. 131 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:53,640 {\an2}So, I have recently started living on my own 132 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,120 {\an2}and I love it. 133 00:05:56,200 --> 00:06:01,040 {\an2}I am naked the whole time. 134 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:08,560 {\an2}That means I get a lot of food on my body. 135 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:20,880 {\an2}And I have recently found out that there's been 136 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:26,680 {\an2}a smell coming from my belly button. 137 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,240 {\an1}EMMA GASPS LAUGHTER 138 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:36,080 {\an2}So, the finger won't get it. 139 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,160 {\an2}That does. 140 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:45,000 {\an2}It can get in really deep. 141 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:51,680 {\an2}And I swear to God, last week, 142 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,080 {\an2}I got a little bit 143 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,960 {\an2}of umbilical cord. 144 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,200 {\an2}EMMA: No, no, no, no! 145 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,080 {\an2}How deep's your belly button? 146 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,760 {\an2}Very deep. That's my favourite Bee Gee's, song that. 147 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,280 {\an1}APPLAUSE 148 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,320 {\an2}Who has brought in the worst thing? 149 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,760 {\an2}Well, it's Baba or Andy, isn't it? Let's face it. OK. 150 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,200 {\an2}So, we're going to give Zaltzman and his horrible lungs one point. 151 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,520 {\an2}OK, one to Andy. Give Baba two. Two to Baba. Well done. 152 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,440 {\an2}Yeah, incredibly, getting three points is 153 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:26,080 {\an2}a man who lazily grabbed an old toothbrush on his way to the show. 154 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,480 {\an2}Three to Jack. 155 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,520 {\an2}You know, it's such an appalling image, 156 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,080 {\an2}we'll give Rosie Jones five points on this occasion. 157 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,000 {\an2}There we go. Four to Emma, five to Rosie. 158 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,720 {\an1}APPLAUSE 159 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,000 {\an2}It's a very strong start. Right, task one. Let's get going. 160 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,240 {\an2}OK, here we go, bro. 161 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,920 {\an2}And hush your sweet, sweet mouth. 162 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,400 {\an2}Andy. 163 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:06,840 {\an2}I'll sit here, shall I? 164 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,000 {\an2}Yeah, just in front of, uh, Greg. 165 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,800 {\an2}Look at the state of him. 166 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,400 {\an2}My lad Greg, very serious, bro. 167 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,720 {\an2}He needs to smile more, 168 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,800 {\an2}I'm not going to lie to you, bro. 169 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,240 {\an2}"Do not say any of this out..." 170 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,320 {\an2}Mmph. 171 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,160 {\an2}Oh! 172 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,080 {\an2}Don't mind... 173 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,320 {\an1}APPLAUSE 174 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:17,000 {\an2}Do you want to explain this task a little bit? Not yet. 175 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:20,560 {\an2}Ooh. All right, who are we going to see first? 176 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,200 {\an2}We're going to start with the guy 177 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,440 {\an2}people are already calling Andy Zaltzman. 178 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,240 {\an2}You all right, Andy? 179 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,720 {\an2}Andy? 180 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,960 {\an1}HE GASPS AND GROANS SOFTLY 181 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:08,640 {\an2}Query? 182 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,360 {\an2}I've stopped the clock. 183 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,040 {\an2}I could've gone with quesadilla. 184 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,320 {\an2}Feel that was an opportunity missed. 185 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:24,280 {\an2}Um, at what point during the filming process for this show, Andy, 186 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,240 {\an2}did you regret wearing full cricket whites? 187 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,920 {\an2}I've never been in a situation in life where I haven't thought, 188 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,160 {\an2}"This would be better if I was in cricket whites," 189 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,960 {\an2}So, uh, no regrets, no regrets. Oh, all right. Good. 190 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,200 {\an2}That's encouraging. Um... 191 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,320 {\an2}Do you ever regret sitting in a big throne like that? 192 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:43,080 {\an2}No. Does it not make the rest of your life seem mundane? 193 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,720 {\an2}I mean, I suppose now you've said it, yeah. 194 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,000 {\an2}Well, Andy did very well. 195 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,400 {\an2}He managed to succeed in seven minutes, 54. 196 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:54,720 {\an2}AUDIENCE: Oooh! 197 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,040 {\an2}Not bad, is it? 198 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,240 {\an2}Two more attempts now, 199 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,720 {\an2}and a little bit more explanation from Baba and Rosie. 200 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,640 {\an2}"Stare at camera number one 201 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,840 {\an2}"for at least 30 seconds without smiling." 202 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,920 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY 203 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:26,600 {\an2}No! No! No. Right, let's...let's try again. 204 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:35,560 {\an2}"Eat an imaginary fly that has just landed on you." 205 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,040 {\an2}"Look under the 6th..." 206 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,600 {\an2}"..33rd..." 207 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:56,960 {\an2}"..56th..." 208 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,120 {\an2}"..and 91st..." 209 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,200 {\an2}"..letters of this task." 210 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,920 {\an2}Oh, no. 211 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,600 {\an8}What letters have you got so far, Rosie? 212 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,320 {\an8}S, T, I. 213 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,800 {\an8}The first one's right. 214 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:13,240 {\an8}What's the second one? 215 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,320 {\an8}E. 216 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,800 {\an8}A. 217 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,880 {\an8}Is it a N? 218 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,960 {\an8}Wait, OK. 219 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:21,560 {\an8}Seal? 220 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,960 {\an8}You haven't quite finished the task. 221 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,960 {\an2}Ah, not that seal. 222 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,400 {\an2}No, not that seal. 223 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,240 {\an2}Not that seal. 224 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,440 {\an8}Not that seal. 225 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:47,480 {\an8}You're a sneaky little bastard, aren't ya? 226 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,520 {\an8}"Say a word beginning with Q." 227 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,040 {\an8}"Fastest wins." 228 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,720 {\an8}"Your time started when you stared at the camera." 229 00:12:58,800 --> 00:12:59,840 {\an2}Quiet. 230 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:00,920 {\an2}Quiet. 231 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,520 {\an2}I've stopped the clock. That's it? That's it. 232 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,560 {\an2}The smiling one. Yeah. 233 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:12,200 {\an2}That's my Achilles heel. 234 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,720 {\an2}I'm so happy. 235 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,400 {\an1}LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 236 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,880 {\an2}Baba, the seal misdirection. 237 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,760 {\an2}It's the sort of thing this little nerd loves to do. 238 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,680 {\an2}How does it make you feel as a contestant? 239 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,200 {\an2}At the time, I was just like, 240 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,520 {\an2}"Who's coming up with this nonsense?" 241 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,480 {\an2}You know what I'm saying? Like... Yeah, yeah. 242 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:33,720 {\an2}Yeah, I messed up. 243 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,600 {\an2}You've come to the right show to mess up. 244 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:39,000 {\an2}Um, Rosie I missed what you said your Achilles heel was, 245 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,480 {\an2}is it not laughing like a town crier or something? 246 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:47,880 {\an2}Basically, I've always got to smile, 247 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:51,040 {\an2}cos when I don't smile, 248 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,640 {\an2}people think I'm dead. 249 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:02,280 {\an2}Right, that's the end of part one. See you soon. 250 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,960 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 251 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,960 {\an2}Welcome back to the first episode of this new series, 252 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,000 {\an2}where we've begun with a silent task. 253 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,480 {\an2}Sh! Keep it down big, mouth. 254 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,920 {\an2}Yes, some have been more silent than others 255 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,480 {\an2}but there's two people left to see. 256 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,680 {\an2}Emma Sidi and Jack Dee. 257 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,560 {\an8}Not tempted to smile at all, Jack? 258 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,480 {\an7}SHE CHOKES 259 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,800 {\an7}SHE SIGHS 260 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,840 {\an8}S-E-A. 261 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,720 {\an2}Are you guessing the fourth letter? 262 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:07,480 {\an8}Ah, see, I've lost my count now. Oh. 263 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,000 {\an8}And I think it's going to matter. It's going to matter. 264 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,080 {\an8}Yeah. 265 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,400 {\an8}Quick. 266 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,240 {\an8}I've stopped the clock. 267 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,560 {\an2}What did you come up with? 268 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,160 {\an2}I mean the first one I thought I came up with seal. 269 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,000 {\an2}Did you? And I thought, "That's got a nautical feel to it." 270 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,440 {\an2}That does sound relevant. 271 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,040 {\an2}Yeah. 272 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,240 {\an2}"Look under the letters." 273 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,600 {\an2}Well, yeah or whatever those four letter... 274 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,280 {\an2}Whatever the... It's not seal. 275 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,360 {\an2}Well, no, I think it might be seal. 276 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:31,800 {\an2}You think it might be seal. Yeah. 277 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,680 {\an2}So I look OK so then I find a seal and look underneath it. 278 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,520 {\an2}Well, maybe. 279 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:37,720 {\an2}That's a walrus. 280 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,400 {\an2}That's a shark. There's a seal. 281 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,720 {\an2}Sea lion, really. Splitting hairs. 282 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,320 {\an2}Ah, OK. What about this seal? 283 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:50,360 {\an2}OK, there was something written there. But it's all come off. 284 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,920 {\an2}Yeah, you ripped it quite hard there. 285 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,720 {\an2}I didn't rip it quite hard. What are you talking about? 286 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,040 {\an2}You were very rough with it. 287 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,560 {\an2}Don't blame me for shoddy props. 288 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,080 {\an2}I'll just go and see if we've got another one. 289 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,160 {\an2}Thanks. 290 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,040 {\an2}Ah, I've set it on fire. 291 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,160 {\an2}I mean that's pretty good. "Faster, fastest..." 292 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,680 {\an2}Good as new. 293 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,240 {\an2}Is there another one coming, the seal? 294 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:21,000 {\an2}Yeah, yes, we're just really sticking it down so it doesn't slip. 295 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,800 {\an2}Well, what's the point of that? That's what's caused all this. 296 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,320 {\an2}I've got a task for you. 297 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,400 {\an2}Ah. Best of luck. 298 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:33,480 {\an2}This is me being patient. 299 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,080 {\an2}Yeah. Maybe this is how you should've done the first one, Jack. 300 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,000 {\an2}Quick. 301 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 302 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,560 {\an2}Well... 303 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,200 {\an2}I mean, first things first, let's start with the positives. 304 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,360 {\an2}Emma. Sure. 305 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,400 {\an2}Pretty efficient. 306 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,160 {\an2}Well, yeah, I would... I would argue boringly efficient. 307 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,400 {\an2}You looked under a seat. There was a bit of fun there. 308 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:57,800 {\an2}Thank you. I really appreciate that. 309 00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:59,240 {\an2}And I'll tell you something else. Yeah? 310 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:00,600 {\an2}No-one winks anymore. 311 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,960 {\an2}Right? And you did a lovely bawdy wink after it. 312 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,600 {\an2}I didn't mean it to be bawdy, 313 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,080 {\an2}I more meant, like, you know, we're all in this together. 314 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,280 {\an2}I've achieved something. I didn't mean sexually bawdy. 315 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:11,680 {\an2}I just mean... Fine, fine, sorry, yeah, yeah. 316 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,600 {\an2}I mean fun bawdy! Fine. 317 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:14,840 {\an2}What went wrong, Jack? 318 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,840 {\an2}Uh, well, OK, uh, full disclosure, 319 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,920 {\an2}within a couple of minutes, I could see what was going on here. 320 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,680 {\an2}I thought, "Oh, dear, they've come up with a duff task." 321 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:25,840 {\an2}Oh, yeah? 322 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,440 {\an2}And, uh, to get some mileage out of it, 323 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,760 {\an2}I'm going to have to find some stuff here. 324 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,120 {\an2}I should probably cross out what I wrote, then. 325 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,520 {\an2}Um, what did you write? 326 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,440 {\an2}Well, I...I say this as a man of a similar vintage, but I wrote, 327 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,040 {\an2}"This all feels a bit, 'Grandad's not settled into his home yet.'" 328 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,640 {\an2}Emma said the word quick after three minutes 58. 329 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:51,720 {\an2}Jack said the word quick after 41 seconds and 30 minutes. 330 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,800 {\an2}Just over half an hour. 331 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,040 {\an2}Wow. 332 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,680 {\an2}Actually, I want to show you one more, 333 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,360 {\an2}one more little extra bit of Jack. Do you mind? 334 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,960 {\an2}Yes, do, yeah. This tickled me. 335 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,040 {\an2}This is Jack earlier on in the task. 336 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,480 {\an2}I mean, uh, 337 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:09,080 {\an2}it's not my fault this is probably quite boring to watch. 338 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,280 {\an2}Oh, it's not boring. OK. 339 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:12,560 {\an2}AUDIENCE: Ooh! 340 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,440 {\an2}He used the first word beginning with Q that anyone said. 341 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,320 {\an2}He said it after three minutes 32 seconds. 342 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,600 {\an2}So a bit quicker than Emma in the end. 343 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,640 {\an2}Oh, God! 344 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:22,760 {\an2}It's cruel. 345 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,960 {\an2}Even I say that's unfair, but I'll take it. 346 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,520 {\an1}LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 347 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,560 {\an2}Sometimes the game can be cruel, Emma. 348 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:32,800 {\an2}Yeah. 349 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,160 {\an2}Oh! 350 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,240 {\an2}Don't mind. 351 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,640 {\an2}So, Baba was the slowest in the end. 17 minutes 59. One point. 352 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:39,720 {\an2}Oh, Baba! 353 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,080 {\an2}Then Rosie gets two points. 354 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,080 {\an2}Andy was the third slowest, three points. 355 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,440 {\an2}Emma gets four points, 356 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,160 {\an2}but Jack Dee wins the task and five points! 357 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,480 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 358 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,880 {\an2}Wow. 359 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,320 {\an2}I'd love to see a scoreboard, please. 360 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,360 {\an2}All right, 361 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,200 {\an2}well there are joint leaders at this stage. 362 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,320 {\an2}It is Jack and Emma on eight points. 363 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:58,680 {\an2}Here they are. 364 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,240 {\an1}APPLAUSE 365 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,400 {\an2}Another one, please. 366 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,840 {\an2}Yes, and we're off to a theme park. 367 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,920 {\an2}Oh, God. 368 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,080 {\an2}Why are you standing like that, bro? 369 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,320 {\an2}It's quite windy. 370 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,760 {\an2}I've got a really bad feeling about this. 371 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,080 {\an2}Have you been on any of the rides? 372 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,000 {\an2}No, I haven't. Erm, because... 373 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,560 {\an2}..it's closed. 374 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,400 {\an2}Yes. Yeah. 375 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:43,960 {\an2}"Knock over exactly 100 cans. 376 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,720 {\an2}"You must throw all five balls... 377 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,320 {\an2}"..and pull one rope nice and hard. 378 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,280 {\an2}"You must stay on the spot at all times, 379 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,360 {\an2}"and you may not move the spot. 380 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:02,480 {\an2}"Closest to 100 cans wins. 381 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,680 {\an2}"Your time starts now." 382 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,440 {\an1}APPLAUSE 383 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:12,320 {\an2}Let's have a look, then. All right, we'll begin with one man. 384 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,600 {\an2}He's dressed as a sportsman, 385 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,440 {\an2}but can he sportsman? It's Andy Zaltzman. 386 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,880 {\an2}Exactly 100 cans. 387 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,040 {\an2}How many cans are there? 388 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,240 {\an2}I reckon there's 200 cans. 200 cans, right. 389 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,320 {\an2}If I do that, OK. 390 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,000 {\an2}I think that's 70 cans down. 391 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,680 {\an2}This is your sport. 392 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,160 {\an2}The pressure is on here. OK. 393 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,960 {\an2}Right, I was hoping to get all them down in one go. 394 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,720 {\an2}I'd say that was unlucky. 395 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,680 {\an2}Oh, damn! LAUGHTER 396 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,760 {\an2}What if I throw a tin? 397 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,560 {\an2}You've opened it. 398 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,120 {\an2}Right, I'm running out of balls. 399 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,200 {\an2}Hmm. Running out of tins. 400 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,160 {\an2}Oh, b...! 401 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,840 {\an1}LAUGHTER 402 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,000 {\an2}I was doing very well there. 403 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,840 {\an2}I very nearly stopped. 404 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,560 {\an2}That's the most disappointed I've been in a long time. 405 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,640 {\an1}AUDIENCE AWWS 406 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 407 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,680 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 408 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,040 {\an2}That was all very impressive initially. 409 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:50,760 {\an2}And then, well, what I think is the Zaltzman equivalent 410 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,160 {\an2}of anarchy happened. Yeah. 411 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:57,200 {\an2}That being, you angrily throwing a yoga ball to the left. 412 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,760 {\an2}Yeah, what else do you do with yoga balls? 413 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,840 {\an2}I've never really seen what they're for, 414 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,200 {\an2}apart from hurling in a fit of rage. 415 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,440 {\an2}So, how many cans did Andy knock down? 416 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,360 {\an2}There's some good news. You miscounted at the beginning, 417 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,520 {\an2}you thought there were 200 cans there. 418 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,880 {\an2}There were actually 160 cans there. Oh, right. 419 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,200 {\an2}You knocked over 104 cans. 420 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,040 {\an1}AUDIENCE GASPS CHEERING 421 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,920 {\an2}That affords me no joy, er, 422 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,320 {\an2}because I'm supposed to be good with numbers and that's... 423 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,360 {\an2}Yeah. Yeah. 424 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,800 {\an2}Well, there's no pleasing some people. No, there's not. 425 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,800 {\an2}LAUGHTER Good start, who's next? 426 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,680 {\an2}Now, it's time for some classic R&B - Rosie and Baba. 427 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,400 {\an2}ROSIE: OK. 428 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,920 {\an2}We may need more balls. 429 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,880 {\an2}What's your tactic? Just throw it, innit? 430 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,280 {\an2}Yeah, baby! 431 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,240 {\an2}Oh, no. 432 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,280 {\an2}Going very high on the stacks. 433 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:04,080 {\an2}Bro! I didn't do throwing in school, bro. 434 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,640 {\an2}Man's just comedian, bro, like, what do you think, man? 435 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,720 {\an2}I didn't do javelin. 436 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,800 {\an1}ROSIE SCREAMS 437 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,880 {\an2}Oh! 438 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,280 {\an2}Yeah, baby! 439 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,360 {\an2}Huh! 440 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,560 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 441 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,840 {\an1}HE CACKLES 442 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,440 {\an2}Ahh, fuck! 443 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,560 {\an1}HE LAUGHS 444 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,880 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS DESPAIRINGLY 445 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,960 {\an2}Oh! 446 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,920 {\an2}Keep falling, just keep falling. 447 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:45,800 {\an2}Wait! 448 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:46,840 {\an2}I'm not done yet. 449 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,920 {\an2}I got this, innit? 450 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,200 {\an2}Yeah, baby! 451 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,120 {\an2}Ah! And I keep going high, let's go low. 452 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,120 {\an2}Oh, for goodness' sake, man! 453 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,520 {\an2}All right, big up. 454 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,600 {\an2}Big up. Later. 455 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER 456 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,920 {\an2}WHISTLE BLOWS Not bad. 457 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,800 {\an1}APPLAUSE 458 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,320 {\an2}Neither of you thought to count the cans 459 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:20,840 {\an2}before you started throwing. 460 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:21,920 {\an2}Yeah, just got to go for it. 461 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,520 {\an2}You w-want me to stand there and be like, "One, two, three"? 462 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,520 {\an2}I ain't doing none of that, like... 463 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,480 {\an2}No, I-I understand, at school, you got out of most subjects 464 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,800 {\an2}by telling them you were a comedian, it seems. 465 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,520 {\an1}LAUGHTER 466 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:35,000 {\an2}"I'm not doing maths, I'm a comedian." 467 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,680 {\an2}That's it. Right. 468 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,720 {\an2}He didn't learn throwing at school. He's a comedian. 469 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,400 {\an2}Rosie, there was some awful heart-breaking moments for you. 470 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,280 {\an2}I've never seen the phrase, "Yeah, baby" 471 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:46,560 {\an2}so close to the phrase, "Oh, no". 472 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:55,680 {\an2}I don't want to say it so early on in the series, 473 00:24:55,760 --> 00:25:00,360 {\an2}but I've got cerebral palsy. 474 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:04,360 {\an2}Ohh, come on! LAUGHTER 475 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,080 {\an2}Old winky's not having that. 476 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,200 {\an2}So, you knocked over 47 cans, Rosie... Ah. 477 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:11,720 {\an2}..compared to Baba's 32. 478 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,080 {\an1}APPLAUSE 479 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,960 {\an2}Right, we need to have another break. 480 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,200 {\an2}It's a chance for Alex to count all of his friends. 481 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,240 {\an2}Welcome back to Taskmaster! LAUGHTER 482 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,320 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 483 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,920 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh, hello! 484 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,720 {\an2}You join us for the third part of the show, 485 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,800 {\an2}and some more throwing at the theme park. 486 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,320 {\an2}ALEX: Yes, these adults are trying to knock some cans over 487 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,360 {\an2}with some balls! And finally - 488 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:49,120 {\an2}uh-oh - it's Jack and Emma grouped together again. 489 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,200 {\an2}OK, so how many cans are there? 490 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,720 {\an2}17. 21. 491 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,840 {\an2}So, that's going to be n...t... 492 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,200 {\an1}EXHASPERATED SIGH 493 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,720 {\an2}I can't be bothered. LAUGHTER 494 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,080 {\an2}40...40. 495 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:09,360 {\an2}40 times four is 160 cans. 496 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,440 {\an2}There's, er, 160 there. 497 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,200 {\an2}Are you just getting rid of the balls? 498 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,520 {\an2}So, I'm going to try and just get... 499 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:21,680 {\an2}Ah. 500 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,760 {\an2}OK, I didn't - OK. 501 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,360 {\an2}My dad played rugby for England. 502 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,840 {\an2}Might actually just... 503 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,160 {\an2}..come to daddy. 504 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 505 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:46,880 {\an2}Ah. 506 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,120 {\an2}LAUGHING: Oh, God, what a shame! What a shame! 507 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,120 {\an2}This one's pointless, but we'll try anyway. 508 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,160 {\an2}Oh! 509 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,920 {\an2}Oh! Oh! Oh! 510 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,000 {\an2}SLOWED DOWN: Oh! 511 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,680 {\an2}How do you summon skills that you don't have? 512 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,560 {\an2}It's actually...so difficult. 513 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,520 {\an2}Pbbt! LAUGHTER 514 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,800 {\an2}So... 515 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,560 {\an2}Ohh. 516 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,400 {\an2}That's a disappointment. Yeah. 517 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,000 {\an2}I might be able to use this. 518 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,280 {\an2}If I can hook them over, and then... 519 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,600 {\an2}All right. 520 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,880 {\an2}DEJECTED LAUGHTER Oh, no, I knew it, I knew it! 521 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:39,000 {\an2}OK. 522 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,120 {\an1}SHE SQUEALS WHEEZING LAUGHTER 523 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,280 {\an2}LAUGHING: I know this is going to miss! 524 00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:49,560 {\an2}Ah! 525 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,160 {\an1}AUDIENCE GASPS 526 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,880 {\an1}HOARSE LAUGHTER 527 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,280 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 528 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:57,040 {\an1}APPLAUSE 529 00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:00,120 {\an2}What I've written down is, "The juxtaposition of the sentence, 530 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,280 {\an2}"'My dad played rugby for England,' 531 00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:06,960 {\an2}"and the throws that we witnessed following that sentence..." Yeah. 532 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,680 {\an2}Yeah. Sounds melodramatic. 533 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:10,840 {\an2}I think it might destroy your family. 534 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,240 {\an2}LAUGHTER Is it too early in the series to say 535 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,480 {\an2}I don't have cerebral palsy? 536 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:20,520 {\an2}BABATUNDE:Oh, snap! LAUGHTER 537 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,160 {\an2}Fuck me. 538 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,800 {\an2}But she did knock over more than Baba. She knocked over 36. 539 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,120 {\an2}Which is good. Jack. 540 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,760 {\an2}You've made a career out of not looking very happy. 541 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,040 {\an2}I've got a theory secretly, you were loving that. 542 00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:35,320 {\an2}I found it cathartic, I suppose. 543 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,320 {\an2}I-I would do that again, actually. I wouldn't mind, yeah. 544 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,080 {\an2}How many cans got knocked down? At least they bothered to count. 545 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,640 {\an2}Yes, well, I can tell you, we know Baba was 32, 546 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,360 {\an2}er, Emma 36, Rosie 47, 547 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,280 {\an2}Jack 68. Ah. 548 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,320 {\an2}So, approaching 100.Hmm. APPLAUSE 549 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,560 {\an1}Yeah, obviously, Andy 104, so, yeah. 550 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,520 {\an1}APPLAUSE 551 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,920 {\an2}I do want to show you one extra replay, though, do you mind?Yeah. 552 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,000 {\an2}OK, here we go. 553 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,560 {\an1}AUDIENCE GROANS 554 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,280 {\an7}AUDIENCE GROANS LIGHT LAUGHTER 555 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:09,640 {\an2}Oh. 556 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,360 {\an2}Nice pop of the leg, though. 557 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,040 {\an2}Lovely pop of the leg. 558 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:16,280 {\an2}That means that Andy doesn't get any points. Oh! 559 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,200 {\an2}Baba goes up to 2 points, 3 to Emma, 560 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,080 {\an2}4 to Rosie, and Jack wins the task and 5 points! 561 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:25,080 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 562 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,840 {\an2}OK, little Alex Horne, play me another task! 563 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,720 {\an2}Just for you, some stunning, soapy spheres. Ooh! 564 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:46,600 {\an2}Oh, hi, Jack. 565 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,240 {\an2}Hi, you all right? Yes. 566 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,320 {\an2}Pop into the bubble. 567 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,920 {\an2}HE SIGHS Oh, God.Yeah, it's in there. 568 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,480 {\an2}SHE LAUGHS Hey. 569 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,400 {\an1}LAUGHTER 570 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,480 {\an2}Well, that didn't work. 571 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,280 {\an2}Oh, man! 572 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,360 {\an2}Right. 573 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,320 {\an2}"Do the most beautiful thing with bubbles. 574 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,120 {\an2}"You have 20 minutes. 575 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,480 {\an2}"Your time starts when you haven't said a word beginning with B 576 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:30,880 {\an2}"for five seconds." 577 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:32,880 {\an2}Right, so I've got - if I want to buy time, 578 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,120 {\an2}I've gotta keep b-babbling on babbilously. 579 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,920 {\an2}Your time's started now, Jack. 580 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,560 {\an2}Your time has now started. 581 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,200 {\an2}Right. Your time has started. 582 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,320 {\an2}I've had to say a word like that in the task? 583 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,520 {\an2}Emma your time has started. It's started now? 584 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,320 {\an2}Yes, because you didn't say a word beginning with B for five seconds. 585 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:50,400 {\an2}Oh, w... 586 00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,480 {\an2}SHE SCOFFS Not into that. 587 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:57,760 {\an2}Man has to get some soap and make some bubbles. Come on. 588 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:01,280 {\an2}ROSIE: Can I get naked? 589 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:05,600 {\an2}LAUGHTER Cos that is beautiful. 590 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,200 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 591 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,560 {\an2}Baba, you announced, that you were going to make bubbles in this, 592 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,080 {\an2}the bubble task, as if you'd had a great idea. 593 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,040 {\an2}And you even said, "Come on" afterwards. 594 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,600 {\an2}Yeah, man, obviously, you've gotta get some soap and... 595 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,280 {\an2}Cos I do it for the children. 596 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,840 {\an2}Like, if I don't buy bubble solution or, like, you know 597 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:28,480 {\an2}the one that you can just buy, I'll do it by myself. 598 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,520 {\an2}And you'll play on your own with bubbles? 599 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,040 {\an2}No, for my children! Oh. 600 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,160 {\an2}You said you do it on your own sometimes. 601 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:35,880 {\an2}No, I make the bubbles. 602 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,520 {\an2}You've got to make the bubble solution, 603 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,480 {\an2}and I put it in the machine. I know how to make bubbles, Baba. 604 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,160 {\an2}Th-Then listen to what I'm saying, then, bro! I'm listening to you! 605 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,520 {\an2}You clearly ain't. I just want to establish whether you play 606 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,800 {\an2}with bubbles on your own. 607 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:48,640 {\an2}No, I don't play with bubbles on my own, bro. 608 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,840 {\an2}I'm a comedian.OK. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 609 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,080 {\an2}Nice. 610 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,480 {\an2}OK, the first two we're going to see are Jack Dee 611 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,880 {\an2}and Bubble-tunde. Here we go. Oh. 612 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,280 {\an2}Are you into any particular types of bubbles, Jack? 613 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:05,800 {\an2}Er, well, champagne I like. 614 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,200 {\an2}Like a bit of champagne. We've got champagne. 615 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:09,720 {\an2}Where? 616 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,800 {\an2}Where's the champagne? 617 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,760 {\an2}Right, I'ma draw my daughter. 618 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,280 {\an2}She's two months, and she's so beautiful. 619 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,160 {\an2}Bring it to me. You want me to bring you champagne? 620 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,920 {\an2}Yeah, and some glasses. 621 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,640 {\an2}These are her arms. 622 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,320 {\an2}We'll do, like, legs. 623 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,600 {\an2}Oh, she is beautiful. 624 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:31,240 {\an2}This is a vegan non-alcoholic. Yeah. 625 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:34,040 {\an2}Is there any other way you can take fun out of champagne? 626 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,280 {\an1}LAUGHTER 627 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,200 {\an2}You've got real chocolate. 628 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,160 {\an2}Get yourself some Penguin. 629 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:41,960 {\an2}Who wants dark chocolate? Like, come on, man, 630 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,200 {\an2}I'm not a psychopath. You know what I'm saying? 631 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,720 {\an2}I'd like you, Alex, to pass this around to the crew, 632 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,080 {\an2}so that they all have some. 633 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:49,600 {\an2}What a beautiful thing, Jack. 634 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,120 {\an2}Yeah, I think - thank you, you've said it. 635 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,000 {\an2}Let's get some flowers. 636 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,080 {\an2}Know what I mean? 637 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,000 {\an2}Should we keep one for Greg? 638 00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,760 {\an8}That's a good idea, which one do you think he'd want? 639 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:01,960 {\an2}Probably a pint, wouldn't he? 640 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,040 {\an2}Ready for this, my guy? I'm ready. 641 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:06,680 {\an1}BEAUTIFUL CHORAL MUSIC PLAYS 642 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,960 {\an2}Is man mad? Is man mad? 643 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,920 {\an2}To everyone, thank you for having me here, 644 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,080 {\an2}and looking after me so nicely. 645 00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:18,520 {\an1}LAUGHTER 646 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,360 {\an2}Thank you for, er... 647 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:21,760 {\an2}Yeah, enjoy this drink with me, 648 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,960 {\an2}and I wish you peace and happiness, and.... 649 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,040 {\an1}GLASS SHATTERS 650 00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,120 {\an1}BOTTLE CLATTERS 651 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,280 {\an2}What's wrong with him? 652 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:33,480 {\an1}CHORAL MUSIC CONTINUES 653 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,000 {\an2}Peace and happiness, and... hope all your dreams come true. 654 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,360 {\an2}Oh, what a beautiful toast. Thank you. 655 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,520 {\an1}CHORAL MUSIC SWELLS 656 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,720 {\an2}You like that, bro? Yeah. 657 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:52,880 {\an2}Bringing joy to your heart? 658 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:58,160 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 659 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,520 {\an2}Jack, how lovely that you involved the crew. 660 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,120 {\an2}And I-I mean that, it's... Yeah. 661 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,560 {\an2}We don't - you know, they work very hard on this show. I know. 662 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,400 {\an2}Nice for them to be... I know, and they never get anything, 663 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,400 {\an2}as they were saying to me earlier. LAUGHTER 664 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,760 {\an2}No, they don't, and you know why? Why? Because Alex - 665 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,440 {\an2}do you know what he calls them behind their back? Ohh. 666 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,640 {\an2}He calls them the "faceless facilitators of his genius". 667 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,920 {\an2}It was nice to see them briefly happy, 668 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,480 {\an2}and when I left, they just said, "Jack, thank you." 669 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:29,960 {\an1}LAUGHTER 670 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,400 {\an1}APPLAUSE 671 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:34,920 {\an2}Yeah. 672 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,240 {\an2}Baba, pleased with your attempt? 673 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,000 {\an2}I'm going to own it. Yes, I was. 674 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,760 {\an2}I was pleased with it, cos you know, 675 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,400 {\an2}honouring my new baby girl. Yeah. 676 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,880 {\an2}And that was genuinely sweet, I thought. That was, yes. 677 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,480 {\an2}Can we have a look at the painting of his daughter? 678 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,040 {\an2}His beautiful 11-week-old daughter? Here she is. 679 00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,680 {\an1}LAUGHTER 680 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,840 {\an2}I think I ripped this up afterwards, because I'm ashamed - 681 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,160 {\an2}I can actually draw. You can actually draw? 682 00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:00,160 {\an2}I can actually draw, I am a good drawer. But you didn't. 683 00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:02,360 {\an2}You didn't do art at school. All right, bro! 684 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,120 {\an2}LAUGHTER Chill out! 685 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,720 {\an1}APPLAUSE 686 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,440 {\an2}Just so you know, he said the word "bang" every time he drew a thing. 687 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,760 {\an2}He also said that his sperm and genes, and DNA were "elite". 688 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,400 {\an2}You should see my son and daughter. 689 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:17,840 {\an2}I'm telling you, man, they're gorgeous. 690 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,720 {\an2}When my daughter was born, the whole hospital, they were like, 691 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,280 {\an2}"Oh, my days! She's so gorgeous." 692 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:23,920 {\an2}Even the really ill people? 693 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,960 {\an1}LAUGHTER 694 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,600 {\an2}Well, it's time for Mr Steps Off The Spot himself, 695 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:30,120 {\an2}it's Andy Zaltzman. 696 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,360 {\an2}And action! FEEDBACK WHINES 697 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:37,680 {\an2}Beauty and ze bubble. 698 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,360 {\an2}FRENCH ACCENT: I am bubble. 699 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,560 {\an2}Am I beautiful? 700 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,400 {\an2}Tell me. What is beauty? 701 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,280 {\an2}I have dreams of what a sphere can become... 702 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,200 {\an2}..but I know change changes change, 703 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,200 {\an2}and ze world becomes new again. 704 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,520 {\an2}We create, we destroy. 705 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:04,040 {\an2}We are destroyed, we were created. 706 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,520 {\an2}Life is in ze unexpected. 707 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,080 {\an2}NORMAL ACCENT: Try the orange! 708 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,120 {\an2}FRENCH ACCENT: For I know, as a bubble, 709 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,800 {\an2}things never stay the same. 710 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,920 {\an8}Things never change. 711 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,880 {\an8}We are all bubbles. 712 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,000 {\an2}Bubbles doomed to die. MOURNFUL PIANO MUSIC 713 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,080 {\an2}But our beauty lives forever. 714 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,560 {\an2}NORMAL ACCENT: Look at the camera, for fuck's sake! 715 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:28,920 {\an1}LAUGHTER 716 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,760 {\an2}Pour homme, pour femme, 717 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,520 {\an2}pour le Taskmaster. 718 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,080 {\an2}Ils sont petit ami, Alex Horne. 719 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,040 {\an1}LAUGHTER CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 720 00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,560 {\an2}I mean, it's pretty incredible, Andy. 721 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,360 {\an2}I don't actually have anything negative to say about it. Right. 722 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,960 {\an2}We are all bubbles waiting to burst. Yeah. Exactly. 723 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:55,280 {\an2}Well, we are - it's exploration of the sort of fragility that 724 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,480 {\an2}this show too often shies away from. 725 00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,160 {\an2}Andy, I thought it was excellent. Thank you. 726 00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:01,640 {\an2}Time for the final break of the night! 727 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,640 {\an2}Who will not only win the episode, 728 00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:05,360 {\an2}but also take home a lung 729 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,320 {\an2}and Jack Dee's rancid old toothbrush? 730 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:08,760 {\an2}What an adrenaline rush! 731 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,680 {\an2}I feel like I'm trippin' in Woodstock, man! 732 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,680 {\an2}See you soon. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 733 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:23,920 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Welcome back! 734 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,840 {\an2}Welcome back to the final part of this new series. 735 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,360 {\an2}Who's next in line to do something beautiful with bubbles, Alex? 736 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:33,840 {\an2}Ooh, a top-notch question, Greg - and a lovely voice. 737 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,880 {\an2}It's Rosie and Sidi. 738 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,960 {\an2}Jones and Emma. 739 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:45,560 {\an1}LAUGHTER 740 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,160 {\an2}Rosie. 741 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,440 {\an2}I'm not Rosie. 742 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:55,720 {\an2}I am the Bubble Gum...Fairy! 743 00:37:55,800 --> 00:38:00,000 {\an2}BEAUTIFUL PIANO PLAYS Ooh! Lights. 744 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,920 {\an2}Oh, Greg. 745 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,440 {\an2}Oh, Greg! 746 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:07,160 {\an2}I am doing the most beautiful thing with bubbles. 747 00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:10,240 {\an2}A beautiful babe having a bubble bath. 748 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:18,520 {\an2}I am here to grant you... 749 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,520 {\an2}..three wishes! 750 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:25,360 {\an2}But don't tell me them, 751 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:30,480 {\an2}cos I know them alreadyyy! 752 00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,560 {\an2}LAUGHTER Ooh! 753 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:35,280 {\an1}BEAUTIFUL PIANO CONTINUES 754 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,560 {\an2}ECHOING: Oh, Greg! 755 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,960 {\an2}What are you doing tonight? 756 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,040 {\an2}Bubble bath, maybe? 757 00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:51,080 {\an2}I bet that you want more... 758 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:55,000 {\an2}..bubbles! 759 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:59,840 {\an2}You like bubble gum. 760 00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:01,360 {\an2}Ooh! 761 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,960 {\an2}Eat the bubble gum! 762 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,040 {\an2}Eat it. Hmm, I can't really do bubble gum. 763 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:07,880 {\an2}Eat it! How much? 764 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,440 {\an2}More! 765 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,560 {\an2}More. 766 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,120 {\an2}More. LAUGHTER 767 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 768 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:27,040 {\an2}And I know you want the bubble gum dance. 769 00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:31,400 {\an2}# Bubble Gum Fairy! 770 00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:34,240 {\an2}# Bubble... 771 00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:40,800 {\an2}# Bubble Gum Fai...ryyy! # 772 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,520 {\an2}MUFFLED: I can't blow bubbles when there's so much... Blow. 773 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,000 {\an2}Blow. 774 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,640 {\an2}Blow. LAUGHTER 775 00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:51,360 {\an2}Oh! 776 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:55,080 {\an2}And now, I leave. 777 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,120 {\an2}Wand...drop. 778 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 779 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,160 {\an2}OK. 780 00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:07,640 {\an2}Er...I think what we have to - 781 00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:10,240 {\an2}the three of us have to talk about is your understanding of 782 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,640 {\an2}the word "beautiful" probably. 783 00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:17,640 {\an2}Hmm. No, I think I nailed it. 784 00:40:17,720 --> 00:40:20,160 {\an2}Do you? LAUGHTER 785 00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:27,760 {\an2}I don't see what could not be more beautiful than that, then. 786 00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,640 {\an2}Than the Bubble Gum Fairy? Yeah. 787 00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:35,800 {\an2}What is better than the most beautiful woman alive? 788 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,920 {\an2}Right, well, I'm not going to comment on your personal beauty, 789 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,240 {\an2}cos I'm looking only at the character. 790 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:44,520 {\an2}And...personally... 791 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,360 {\an1}STIFLED LAUGHTER 792 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,640 {\an2}..I found the Bubble Gum Fairy to be quite irritating. 793 00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:52,040 {\an1}LAUGHTER 794 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,440 {\an1}Emma, let's talk about your beauty. 795 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,200 {\an2}Yes. When you started erotically eating the chocolate... 796 00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,400 {\an2}Yeah. ..I think you just looked hammered. 797 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,040 {\an1}LAUGHTER 798 00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:08,920 {\an2}And I...I'm very flattered to be offered a bath with a lady, 799 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,840 {\an2}but I would prefer it if she hadn't been out for 12 pints beforehand. 800 00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,040 {\an2}I think beauty's in the eye of the beholder. 801 00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:17,520 {\an2}Yes, and I'm the beholder. Totally fine. 802 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,280 {\an2}That, I do accept. Yeah. 803 00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:25,480 {\an2}But...who would you rather share a bath with? 804 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,160 {\an2}What, Emma or the Bubble Gum Fairy? Yeah. 805 00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:33,560 {\an2}Well, Emma. 100 times over. LAUGHTER 806 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,720 {\an2}Sorry, bitch. Sorry. 807 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:39,680 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 808 00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:42,440 {\an2}Go on, then, Greg. 809 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,040 {\an2}Well, who do you think's going to get one point? I... 810 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:48,720 {\an2}HIGH-PITCHED: # I'll give you a clue! # 811 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,360 {\an2}1 point to Rosie. Well done, Rosie. 812 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:51,400 {\an2}Yeah, good. Aww! 813 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:54,920 {\an2}I mean, if the chocolate-gobbling woman of nondescript nationality 814 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:58,080 {\an2}hadn't been so drunk, she might've got more than 2 points. 815 00:41:58,160 --> 00:41:59,440 {\an2}2 to Emma. Got it. 816 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:04,600 {\an2}I think the sentiment of sharing bubbles with a largely ignored... 817 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:08,480 {\an2}Yes. ..and often much-derided crew, with him, 818 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:10,720 {\an2}it is quite beautiful and deserves 3 points. 819 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:12,600 {\an2}Three points to Jack. Got it. Thank you very much. 820 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,520 {\an2}I'm going to give Baba's beautiful daughter 4 points. 821 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,480 {\an2}4, got it. We must recognise artistic genius when we see it, 822 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:18,840 {\an2}and Andy gets 5 points. 823 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,400 {\an2}OK, well done, Andy, 5 points. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 824 00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:25,000 {\an2}OK, then. Everyone, please make your way to the stage for your first 825 00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,280 {\an2}final task of the show! 826 00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:30,400 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 827 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:36,280 {\an2}Who's reading the task out? 828 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:37,800 {\an2}Emma is going to read the task. 829 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,200 {\an2}Is she? Ahem. 830 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:42,440 {\an2}I hope you'll include a wink in this read? 831 00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,520 {\an2}Excuse me. 832 00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,280 {\an1}LAUGHTER 833 00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,120 {\an2}"Drink the vinegar. 834 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:50,720 {\an1}AUDIENCE GROANS 835 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,000 {\an2}"On your turn, you can either drink from one straw 836 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:55,480 {\an2}"or not drink at all - 837 00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:57,680 {\an2}"and get a clue from Alex instead. 838 00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,280 {\an2}"You must stand on the spot when choosing your straw, 839 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,760 {\an2}"and you must never stray from the spot." 840 00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,000 {\an2}OK? LAUGHTER 841 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:07,200 {\an2}"Only the vinegar drinker wins." 842 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:08,560 {\an2}There's 5 points at stake here. 843 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:10,960 {\an2}No-one else will get any points at all, Greg. Wow! 844 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,120 {\an2}They can choose to either tell me which number they'll drink from, 845 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:15,760 {\an2}and then, drink from it... Yeah. 846 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,120 {\an2}..or they can get a clue from me. 847 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:21,040 {\an2}The clue refers to the numbers in front of the straws. 848 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:22,440 {\an2}Up you come, Rosie. 849 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,760 {\an1}APPLAUSE 850 00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,840 {\an2}So, Rosie, would you like to drink, or get a clue? 851 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:32,040 {\an2}So, I'm going to go for it. 852 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,240 {\an2}OK, which number are going to drink from? Ten. 853 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,000 {\an2}Off you go. Down and sip. 854 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,000 {\an2}Ohh! 855 00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:43,760 {\an2}This is a GIF waiting to happen. 856 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:47,320 {\an2}LAUGHTER Ooh! 857 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,640 {\an2}Have you drunk vinegar? 858 00:43:54,720 --> 00:43:56,320 {\an2}No. LAUGHTER 859 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,560 {\an2}I like it. OK. 860 00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:00,760 {\an2}Bit fishy. 861 00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:03,120 {\an2}Yes, it is a bit fishy. It's tomato juice. 862 00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:04,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 863 00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:06,240 {\an2}OK, Jack, would you like a clue or a drink? 864 00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:09,200 {\an2}Erm, er, let's try a clue. OK. 865 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,360 {\an2}You're such a weird man. 866 00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:18,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER 867 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:20,360 {\an2}You must now return to your spot. 868 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:21,920 {\an2}Oh, I see. APPLAUSE 869 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,680 {\an2}Oh, a clue for next time. I-I get it. 870 00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,360 {\an2}Erm, clue, clue. 871 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,440 {\an2}Clue, as well? Yeah, yeah. 872 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 873 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,520 {\an2}APPLAUSE OK. Clue or drink, Baba? 874 00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,480 {\an2}I'ma go for a drink. Here we go. 875 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:40,520 {\an2}What number are you going to choose? 16. 16. Wow, confident. 876 00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,240 {\an2}I'm not. Do it. I don't like this, man. 877 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,160 {\an2}Do you not like a lovely vinegar drink? 878 00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:49,600 {\an2}WHISPERS: Could this be it? 879 00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:50,920 {\an2}Is it vinegar? 880 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,840 {\an2}Nah, that ain't vinegar, but... I don't know, that's all right. 881 00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,680 {\an2}It's iced tea. It's iced tea, Iced tea, OK. Iced tea. 882 00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,160 {\an2}It's iced tea. 883 00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:00,840 {\an2}He's not, he's not playing... 884 00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:03,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER 885 00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:08,720 {\an2}I appreciate that. Clue or suck? 886 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER 887 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:13,120 {\an2}Er, clue, please, Alex. Clue, here it comes. 888 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,720 {\an2}I'm nearly there. Here I am. 889 00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:19,160 {\an2}There's a lot of this, in't there? LAUGHTER 890 00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:22,120 {\an2}Look, just let me seductively get it out of the way for you. 891 00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:30,040 {\an2}OK. 892 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,120 {\an2}I'm going to suck, 893 00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:40,040 {\an2}but I'm also going to try and guess your clue. 894 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:45,080 {\an2}Cool. I think it's a prime number. 895 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,440 {\an2}I do like them. 896 00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:48,800 {\an2}Ooh! 897 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:53,480 {\an2}So, I'm going to go for...17. 898 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:55,720 {\an2}OK. LAUGHTER 899 00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:57,800 {\an2}Right. Come... 900 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,680 {\an2}She drunk the vinegar! 901 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,480 {\an1}CHEERING SHE COUGHS 902 00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:13,760 {\an2}So, we'll add those 5 points. 903 00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,840 {\an2}Come down here, we'll see how that affects the final scores! 904 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,040 {\an2}Very good. So, you - again, you just guessed it, did you? 905 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:30,440 {\an2}I thought the clue was a prime number. 906 00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:31,480 {\an2}Why? 907 00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:34,240 {\an2}Cos Alex is so boring. 908 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,920 {\an2}Yeah! LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 909 00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:38,800 {\an2}Do you want to see the scoreboard? Yeah.It's unbelievable. 910 00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,000 {\an2}She was in third place before, but now, she's in first place. 911 00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,120 {\an2}Rosie Jones has 17 points! 912 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,600 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 913 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,920 {\an2}Rosie Jones wins episode one! 914 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:54,400 {\an2}Please go and collect the things that have been inside your rivals! 915 00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,480 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 916 00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,600 {\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media