1 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:04,920 {\an2}Well, well, well. 2 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,280 {\an2}Ooh! Oh, no, no. 3 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,640 {\an2}Yes! Ah! 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:09,800 {\an1}SHE HISSES, BELL RINGS 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:12,640 {\an2}Ah! 6 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,280 {\an2}Um... 7 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:15,800 {\an2}Quite windy today. Yeah. 8 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:16,840 {\an2}Christ! 9 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:17,960 {\an2}Ooh! Wrong way. 10 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,280 {\an2}That's how you do it, baby. 11 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,560 {\an2}OK. 12 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,480 {\an2}Oh, my God! 13 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,120 {\an2}Ah! Ah! Ah! Ooh! 14 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,480 {\an1}SHE BABBLES 15 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,160 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 16 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,760 {\an2}Hello! Hello! 17 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,520 {\an2}Welcome! Welcome! 18 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:42,680 {\an2}I'm Greg Davies. 19 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:46,000 {\an2}Welcome to a brand-new series of Taskmaster. 20 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,520 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 21 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,760 {\an2}It's great to be back, and since we were last on air, 22 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,880 {\an2}I've met so many of you on my travels. 23 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,200 {\an2}And just to start the new series as I mean to go, 24 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:00,920 {\an2}can I just say, genuinely, if you're one of the many people that came up to me on the street 25 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,720 {\an2}over the last couple of months and had a photograph with me on your phone, 26 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,240 {\an2}I want you to know this - 27 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:09,040 {\an2}despite my smiles and what I said, I did resent being asked... 28 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER 29 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,040 {\an2}..and you did ruin my night. 30 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:13,360 {\an1}LAUGHTER 31 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,760 {\an2}Stop it! LAUGHTER 32 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,120 {\an2}Let's crack on and see what the new five look like, 33 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:23,600 {\an2}huddled together on their chairs, their eyes on this prize - 34 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:28,080 {\an2}a trophy of a man who doesn't have a beard or glasses. 35 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,320 {\an2}It's not me! LAUGHTER 36 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,480 {\an2}Please welcome Joanne McNally... 37 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,240 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 38 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,280 {\an2}..John Robins... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 39 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:41,080 {\an2}..Nick Mohammed... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 40 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,920 {\an2}..Sophie Willan... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 41 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,880 {\an2}..and Steve Pemberton! 42 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,760 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 43 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:51,320 {\an2}And sitting next to me is the Harry to my Meghan Markle. 44 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 45 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:56,240 {\an2}A little ginger who's started to realise that he's paired up 46 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,320 {\an2}with one sassy queen. 47 00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:59,720 {\an1}LAUGHTER 48 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,800 {\an2}IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: It's little Alex Horne! 49 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,000 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 50 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,640 {\an2}Yeah. Hello! 51 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,880 {\an2}All right? Hello, Greg. How are you doing? 52 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,200 {\an2}Dangerous, as always.Good. LAUGHTER 53 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,760 {\an2}Just a bad boy. 54 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,040 {\an1}LAUGHTER 55 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,160 {\an2}I'll do anything. 56 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:18,600 {\an2}Honestly, I'd do absolutely anything. I don't care. Yeah? 57 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,160 {\an2}See this, right? Here we go. 58 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,480 {\an2}Can of worms. 59 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 60 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,320 {\an2}I'll... I'll open that. 61 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,120 {\an1}LAUGHTER 62 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:27,560 {\an2}Go on, open it. 63 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,520 {\an2}Oh, it is actually worms. Yes, it's worms, yeah. 64 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,120 {\an1}LAUGHTER 65 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,280 {\an2}I'll tell you now without looking at him, 66 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,120 {\an2}that's the end of what he's prepared. 67 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,560 {\an2}LAUGHTER Are you saying I... there should be more stuff now? 68 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,760 {\an2}Well, there should be some sort of punchline, yeah. 69 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,440 {\an2}So, this bit now is the punchline. 70 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:45,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 71 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,560 {\an2}But everyone was in a great mood and really looking forward to it, 72 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,880 {\an2}and now look at this. That's what happens when you open... 73 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,840 {\an2}Because there's a room full... LAUGHTER 74 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,320 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 75 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,920 {\an2}OK. All right. 76 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,960 {\an2}I mean, you got a round of applause out of it. 77 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER 78 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,000 {\an2}In quite manipulative fashion, I think. 79 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 80 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,800 {\an2}Let's get the first of our prize tasks underway then, shall we? 81 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,080 {\an2}Underway right away, 82 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,560 {\an2}and for this episode you've asked them 83 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,080 {\an2}to bring in something pretty important. 84 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,120 {\an2}It's this - 85 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,720 {\an2}the most glorious thing that sounds a bit like "Greg Davies" 86 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:16,920 {\an2}if you mumble it. 87 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER 88 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,840 {\an2}The most glorious thing will get five points, 89 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,320 {\an2}and the winner of this first episode 90 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,120 {\an2}will take home five things which all sound 91 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,640 {\an2}a bit like "Greg Davies" if mumbled. 92 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,520 {\an2}Over to you... Yeah. MUMBLES: ..Greg Davies. 93 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:28,960 {\an2}Right, Joanne. Yeah. 94 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,280 {\an2}What have you brought in? 95 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,640 {\an2}I brought in a jug. LAUGHTER 96 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,760 {\an2}That sounds like "Greg Davies" when mumbled? 97 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,040 {\an2}Yeah. Glug...glug gre... 98 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,960 {\an2}SHE BABBLES Glug gravies. 99 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 100 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,880 {\an2}A jug of gravy. Yes! Thank you, Steve. 101 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,160 {\an2}She has brought in a Glug Jug of gravy. Yeah, Glug Jug. It looks like this. 102 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,040 {\an2}It's called a Glug...? There you go, look. 103 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,120 {\an2}Oh. That's called a Glug... That's full of gravy. 104 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:53,840 {\an2}What do you mean it's called a Glug Jug? 105 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,720 {\an2}When you pour it out, it makes a glug sound. 106 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,320 {\an2}That's it. It makes a glug sound. It has glug acoustics. 107 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,720 {\an2}It goes glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, Greg Davies. 108 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,600 {\an2}Yes, I know. LAUGHTER 109 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:04,960 {\an2}So, what rhymes with "Davies"? 110 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,080 {\an2}"Gravies". Thank you. 111 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,600 {\an2}I think we've established everything I need to establish 112 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:09,920 {\an2}before I give you one point. 113 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,360 {\an1}LAUGHTER 114 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:12,880 {\an2}John, what have you brought in? 115 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,960 {\an2}I brought in... MUMBLES: ..Grieg diaries. 116 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER 117 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,560 {\an2}It sounded like he said "Greg Davies". 118 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,200 {\an2}You've actually brought me in, John? 119 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,200 {\an2}I've brought in Grieg's diaries. 120 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,520 {\an1}LAUGHTER 121 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:27,080 {\an2}The diaries of Edvard Grieg, the Norwegian composer. Here they... Yeah. Here they are. 122 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 123 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,440 {\an2}Wow, that's good, isn't it? Is it a glorious thing, though? 124 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,160 {\an2}It is meant to be the most glorious thing. 125 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,840 {\an2}Have you heard his concertos?! LAUGHTER 126 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:40,560 {\an2}I'm just saying, I had to read the book, 127 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,320 {\an2}and it's mainly about his desperate unhappiness at school. 128 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:44,480 {\an2}LAUGHTER His... 129 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,640 {\an2}His glorious unhappiness at school. 130 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER 131 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,720 {\an2}I like Grieg's diaries. 132 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 133 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:53,960 {\an2}Nick. 134 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,000 {\an2}Hi, Greg. 135 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,160 {\an2}We are contrasting physical characters. 136 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,680 {\an2}We are. In what regard? 137 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 138 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:05,200 {\an1}APPLAUSE 139 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,640 {\an2}I'll leave it as a mystery. LAUGHTER 140 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:09,840 {\an2}What have you brought in? 141 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,720 {\an2}I went for... HE MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY 142 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 143 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,440 {\an2}Can you say it again? MUMBLES: Eggs Benedict. 144 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,040 {\an2}Are you saying "eggs Benedict"? I am. 145 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER 146 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,000 {\an2}Who would've thought Joanne would be back in the game? 147 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER 148 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,040 {\an2}Whoo! CHEERING 149 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,680 {\an2}Yeah, here's the eggs Benedict. LAUGHTER 150 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,600 {\an2}It's difficult to mumble "Benedict" into "Davies", for sure. 151 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,760 {\an2}Not if you breathe out. If you breath out... HE EXHALES AND MUMBLES: Benedict. 152 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,240 {\an2}Let me give it a go. Yeah. HE EXHALES AND MUMBLES: Benedict. 153 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 154 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,360 {\an2}Sophie? 155 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,720 {\an2}I've met your aunt and uncle. LAUGHTER 156 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:44,960 {\an2}Pam and Willy. 157 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,760 {\an2}She was Miss Wem in 1962. 158 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,560 {\an2}And she was saying, "Oh, he's on telly, he's my nephew." 159 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,400 {\an2}Yeah. "He's tall." It took us ages, but we got there. 160 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:56,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 161 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,520 {\an2}Do you know what's genuinely fascinating about this? Yeah? 162 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,800 {\an2}Is I know very well who my aunties and uncles are, 163 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,440 {\an2}and they are not Pam and Willy. LAUGHTER 164 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,400 {\an2}You're joking! 165 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,160 {\an2}I can't believe that. 166 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,200 {\an2}They've been telling a lot of fibs. Yeah, yeah. 167 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,520 {\an2}They're lying, all right. Uh, what have you brought in? 168 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,640 {\an2}Egg babies. LAUGHTER 169 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,000 {\an2}"Greg Davies". Will you mumble it for me? 170 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,040 {\an2}MUMBLES:Egg babies. LAUGHTER 171 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,320 {\an2}Yes! 172 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,080 {\an2}Egg babies. AUDIENCE: Aw! 173 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,520 {\an2}Ah, that's good. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 174 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,440 {\an2}Man, that is good. Thank you. 175 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,480 {\an2}Egg babies do exist. 176 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,000 {\an2}People train to be a parent by holding an egg baby... Yeah. 177 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,880 {\an2}..for up to two months. Who are these people? 178 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,480 {\an2}Well, me and my wife. Right. 179 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:37,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 180 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,320 {\an2}That's very good, Sophie. 181 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,960 {\an2}Thank you. I'm quite proud of them. 182 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,480 {\an2}Steve, what have you brought in that rhymes with Greg Davies? 183 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,200 {\an2}So, I was mumbling your name and I came up with, uh... 184 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,480 {\an1}HE MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY 185 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,040 {\an2}What was that? 186 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,600 {\an2}MUMBLES: Peg Mavis. Meg Mavis? 187 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,200 {\an2}MUMBLES: Peg... Peg Mavis. 188 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,320 {\an2}Peg Mavis. 189 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,800 {\an2}It's Mavis from Coronation Street as a peg doll. 190 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:57,920 {\an2}Oh, God. LAUGHTER 191 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,240 {\an2}And here she comes. 192 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:02,480 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 193 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,800 {\an2}This is tough. Yeah, yeah. It's not bad. 194 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:07,680 {\an2}Reece Shearsmith did the picture. Did he? Yeah. 195 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,760 {\an2}Mavis Riley, Mavis Wilton, uh, played by Thelma Barlow. 196 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,840 {\an2}So, I actually sent Peg Mavis to Thelma Barlow 197 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,320 {\an2}to see if I could get her endorsement of Peg Mavis, 198 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,800 {\an2}and she sent me a lovely signed card. 199 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,320 {\an8}There she is. OTHERS: Aw! That's Thelma. 200 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,840 {\an8}"To Steve, good luck, from Thelma." 201 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,600 {\an2}After I got Peg Mavis back from Thelma Barlow, 202 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:31,520 {\an2}I sent Peg Mavis to the actual Coronation Street. 203 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,680 {\an8}And I think it was a very windy day, as you can see. 204 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,160 {\an8}If anything, it's a bit too bum-licky, innit, 205 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,800 {\an8}the whole thing?It is a bit. LAUGHTER 206 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,520 {\an2}He's gone a bit over the top, if anything. 207 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,760 {\an2}Right, you've seen all five. 208 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,160 {\an2}I mean, it's not hard to give Joanne one point, obviously. 209 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 210 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,720 {\an2}Nick, two points, and you can thank me for them. What?! 211 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,440 {\an2}I will. Thank you. 212 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,160 {\an2}I'm going to give egg babies three points. 213 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,440 {\an2}Fabulous, thank you. 214 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,240 {\an2}I think I have to reward Steve, 215 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,120 {\an2}because it's the beginning of a new series 216 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,760 {\an2}and I'm trying to be more upbeat about life... LAUGHTER 217 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,760 {\an2}..for all of his efforts, but I want you to know 218 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,680 {\an2}that "Grieg diaries" is a very close second. 219 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,960 {\an2}Thank you. There we go. Five points to Steve Pemberton. 220 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:08,200 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Well done. Well done. Well done. 221 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,360 {\an2}Right, we're off. Let's task. 222 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,760 {\an2}And we begin with a task involving my two middle names - 223 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,520 {\an2}Danger and Eggs. LAUGHTER 224 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:34,920 {\an2}Hey, Alex. LAUGHTER 225 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,040 {\an2}Hi, Nick. 226 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,680 {\an2}Ooh, an egg. 227 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,440 {\an2}Welcome, Sophie. 228 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:40,760 {\an2}Hello. Ooh! 229 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 230 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:47,800 {\an2}Egg, is it? 231 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,360 {\an1}LAUGHTER 232 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:51,960 {\an2}Hello, my G. 233 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,000 {\an2}Hello, Steve. LAUGHTER 234 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,280 {\an8}Hmm. He's cute. 235 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,040 {\an8}Who do you think it looks like? 236 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,200 {\an8}Mr Blobby. LAUGHTER 237 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,280 {\an2}Best physical comedian of our generation. 238 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,400 {\an2}Uh, we should CRACK on. 239 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:05,920 {\an2}AUDIENCE GROANS Lovely.Yeah? 240 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:09,000 {\an2}"Do the riskiest thing involving this egg..." 241 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,880 {\an2}"..without breaking this egg." 242 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:12,080 {\an2}Love that. 243 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:15,280 {\an2}"The egg in the greatest danger that doesn't break wins"! 244 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,480 {\an2}"You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now." 245 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,880 {\an2}Can you swallow an egg whole? 246 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,360 {\an2}And get it out again? And get it out again? 247 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,280 {\an2}Not sure that's going to happen in 20 minutes. 248 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,360 {\an1}LAUGHTER 249 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,480 {\an2}20 minutes. 250 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:32,000 {\an2}So, I'm going to take a minute to think before I plough in, 251 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,440 {\an2}cos that's always good, in't it? 252 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,800 {\an2}When you say... Oh, hang on. 253 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,360 {\an2}When you say "crack", do you mean the shell, 254 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,200 {\an2}or do you mean the egg comes out? 255 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,400 {\an1}LAUGHTER 256 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:44,920 {\an2}So, this spoke to me. 257 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,240 {\an2}There's a little thing... number nine on there. 258 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,200 {\an2}Now, I do a show called Inside No. 9. Oh, yeah. 259 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,440 {\an2}If I put the egg in there, 260 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,880 {\an2}we'll take this egg on a hell of a ride. 261 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,640 {\an2}Ah, I'm so disgusting, 262 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,280 {\an2}but I'm not going to do what I immediately thought of doing. 263 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 264 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,320 {\an2}Both of your instincts - yours and John's - 265 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,480 {\an2}was to eat the egg and then, uh, defecate it out. 266 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:12,560 {\an2}No, mine was... Mine wasn't... Sorry! 267 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,680 {\an1}LAUGHTER 268 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,280 {\an2}Excuse me! What sort of animal do you think I am? 269 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,520 {\an2}I wasn't going to defecate. 270 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:20,720 {\an2}I was going to add it to the rest of my eggs for safety... 271 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:21,960 {\an2}..in there! 272 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,960 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 273 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,240 {\an2}I-I was planning to defecate the egg. 274 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,160 {\an2}LAUGHTER Let's have a look. 275 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:35,040 {\an2}OK, well, our first two risk-takers are Nick Mohammed and Jo McNally. 276 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:39,120 {\an2}Do we have, um, puffer wrap? Bubble wrap? 277 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,440 {\an2}Yes. 278 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,280 {\an2}Is it hard-boiled? 279 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,320 {\an2}I don't know. 280 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,240 {\an2}Then let's go and boil it. I've got 20 minutes. 281 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,440 {\an2}Round one. 282 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,280 {\an2}See how that egg's doing. 283 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:55,120 {\an2}OK. Let's take it outside. 284 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:02,240 {\an2}I'm going to try and throw bricks and get as close as I can. 285 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,000 {\an8}LAUGHTER That's a bit risky. 286 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,520 {\an8}I mean, it sounds really risky, right? 287 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,160 {\an2}You ready? 288 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,560 {\an2}Yes, I'm ready. 289 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,120 {\an2}LAUGHTER Ooh. 290 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:12,240 {\an2}Felt risky. 291 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,240 {\an2}That was quite close. 292 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,320 {\an2}Yeah. 293 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,720 {\an2}You ready? Uh-huh. 294 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,560 {\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 295 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:33,240 {\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 296 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:35,920 {\an2}Ooh! 297 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,360 {\an2}It jumped over it. That's risky. 298 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,560 {\an2}That's really risky. 299 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,040 {\an2}This is fun, isn't it? 300 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:44,360 {\an2}It is quite fun. Oh! 301 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,720 {\an8}Go on. 302 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,200 {\an7}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 303 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:52,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 304 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,280 {\an2}Right. 305 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:57,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 306 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,800 {\an2}Are you finished? Yeah, I think so. 307 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,960 {\an7}AUDIENCE LAUGHS 308 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,280 {\an7}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 309 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,040 {\an7}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS AND LAUGHS 310 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,640 {\an2}I'd say it's cracked. 311 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:13,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 312 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:15,160 {\an2}Oh, I'm sorry. 313 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 314 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:20,960 {\an2}Thank you! 315 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,320 {\an2}Thank you, Nick. 316 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 317 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,000 {\an2}Did you think at the time that hard-boiling the egg 318 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,280 {\an2}would protect it from a brick? 319 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,480 {\an2}I thought hard-boiling the egg would make it firmer. 320 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,920 {\an2}Yeah, but, I mean, I did feel an element of risk there. Yeah. It was surprisingly exciting. 321 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,000 {\an2}It looked quite sad at the end, didn't it? Yeah. 322 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,160 {\an2}Yeah, well, you murdered it. LAUGHTER 323 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,760 {\an2}Um, Joanne, probably the bricks 324 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,520 {\an2}would've bounced off that bubble wrap. 325 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,320 {\an2}But no-one gasped at my task. 326 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,840 {\an2}They were gasping at Nick's, which means it's more risky. 327 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,880 {\an2}Well, that's the second comment I'm coming on to, 328 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,720 {\an2}which is you then did the least risky thing 329 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,000 {\an2}I've ever seen. LAUGHTER 330 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,640 {\an2}She did say, "Right, I'm going to fuck it against a brick wall 331 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,440 {\an2}"like a mad bastard." LAUGHTER 332 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,920 {\an2}I did say that. 333 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,720 {\an2}That was... That was the plan. 334 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,520 {\an2}It was... It was riskier in my head. 335 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:12,320 {\an2}Do you want to find out if the egg survived? Yeah. It did. 336 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 337 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,120 {\an2}Was that not the point, to keep the egg alive? 338 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,720 {\an2}Yeah, it means you've definitely got points... Yeah. ..because the egg had to survive. 339 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,840 {\an2}I protected it. Yeah, the egg had to survive. Oh, no. Do I not get anything? 340 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,840 {\an2}No, not if the egg didn't survive. 341 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,360 {\an2}Yours got eaten by a crow. I know. 342 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,360 {\an2}And there's something quite cannibalistic 343 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,880 {\an2}about another bird eating an egg. 344 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,760 {\an2}Of course. Eugh! Oh, God. 345 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,760 {\an2}OK, do you want to see another one? Yes, please. 346 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,360 {\an2}OK, it's now time for old Risky Robins. Ooh! Here we go. 347 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,520 {\an2}Thank you so much for taking me out for a ride. 348 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,880 {\an2}I know your husband's at his cow-riding lesson. 349 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 350 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,120 {\an2}Look out! COW BELLOWS 351 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,160 {\an1}PITCHED-DOWN SHOUTING 352 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,800 {\an1}TYRES SCREECH, COW BELLOWS 353 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,760 {\an1}COW BELLOWS 354 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:08,920 {\an2}Look out! 355 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,440 {\an2}Oh, my God! Are you OK? 356 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,840 {\an2}You saved my life. 357 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,320 {\an2}That... That was incredible. 358 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,480 {\an1}DING! 359 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,640 {\an1}LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 360 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:23,680 {\an2}Very nice. 361 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,360 {\an2}Shall we, uh, drill down into the narrative a little bit there? 362 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,840 {\an2}So, the egg is giving me a lift home. 363 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,640 {\an2}Unbeknownst to the egg, 364 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:34,240 {\an2}the egg's husband's cow-riding lesson is nearby. 365 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,440 {\an2}LAUGHTER Yeah. 366 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,840 {\an2}The egg...egg wife was... was heading towards the very cow 367 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,800 {\an2}the egg's husband was learning to ride. 368 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,120 {\an2}Oh, my God, the irony. 369 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,840 {\an2}So, uh, she swerves, hits a brick wall... Yeah. 370 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,840 {\an2}..we both survive intact. Yes. 371 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,200 {\an2}And if you have any doubt as to the riskiness 372 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,160 {\an2}of that procedure, 373 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,120 {\an2}please speak to the production staff 374 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,920 {\an2}about the two-hour meeting we had about... 375 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 376 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,440 {\an1}APPLAUSE 377 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,600 {\an2}All right, time for the first break of the series. 378 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,840 {\an2}Show the adverts the respect they deserve. 379 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:16,280 {\an2}Alex, arms up, legs wide, big smile, tongue out, and wiggle. 380 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,720 {\an2}Everywhere! 381 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,600 {\an2}Wiggle your tongue! 382 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,160 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 383 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,720 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 384 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,240 {\an2}Hello! 385 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,440 {\an2}Welcome back to this box-fresh series of Taskmaster, 386 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,800 {\an2}where we've started big with a task about risk. 387 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:36,880 {\an2}Yes, Greg. 388 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,400 {\an2}They're doing the riskiest thing with an egg right now...on TV! 389 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,200 {\an2}Next up, it's Steve Pemberton. 390 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,400 {\an1}EAGLE SCREECHES 391 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,120 {\an2}I want to tell you a story about risk. 392 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,360 {\an2}We're in the mining town of Yolkston, 393 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,080 {\an2}population half a dozen. 394 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,280 {\an2}It's a Friday. 395 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,280 {\an2}Beautiful day, sunny side up. 396 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,720 {\an2}Into town rides intrepid explorer, Eggbert Nobacon... 397 00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:59,760 {\an2}LAUGHTER ..on his trusty goat Shelly. 398 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,320 {\an2}And they're trundling through here. 399 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,600 {\an2}As you can see, there's lots of CCTV, 400 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,800 {\an2}and this alerts the local poachers. 401 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:09,320 {\an1}HORSE NEIGHS 402 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,720 {\an2}And they are chasing Eggbert. 403 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,360 {\an2}And there's huge risks, so Shelly has to go quickly. 404 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,720 {\an2}But there's the Omelette Express. 405 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,560 {\an1}BELL RINGS, LAUGHTER 406 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,240 {\an2}Shelly's rearing up. 407 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:23,480 {\an1}HORSE NEIGHS 408 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,440 {\an2}The poachers run out of breath. 409 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,680 {\an2}But here's the greatest danger and the greatest risk of all. 410 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:33,440 {\an2}Eggbert has to run over the Crackatoa Falls. 411 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,800 {\an2}And there he goes through the Cape of Good Horne... 412 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 413 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,800 {\an2}..and off into the sunset, having allayed all risk. 414 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:48,600 {\an2}His brain was scrambled, but Eggbert and Shelly go on. 415 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,800 {\an2}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS Ah! 416 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,400 {\an2}You did it. Thank you. 417 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,760 {\an2}He's happy, is he? He's happy, yeah. 418 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,760 {\an2}Yeah. Happy as Larry. Sweaty. 419 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,480 {\an2}Yeah, he's really sweaty. LAUGHTER 420 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,920 {\an2}But you would be. Just had all that risk. 421 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,880 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 422 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,160 {\an2}God, I was really torn between thinking, 423 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,840 {\an2}"Oh, God, there's... 424 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,360 {\an2}"It's quite complex puppetry skills going on here," 425 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,240 {\an2}and the thought that I was watching a very lonely boy in his bedroom. 426 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 427 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,480 {\an2}Yeah. I had Alex with me. 428 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 429 00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:26,240 {\an2}I did as many different risks as I could. 430 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:30,920 {\an2}Which brings us to our controversy of this particular piece of film. 431 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,840 {\an2}LAUGHTER Mm. 432 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,680 {\an2}Did Eggbert crack when he fell from the stagecoach? 433 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,560 {\an2}Oh, you mean after the task had been completed? 434 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,160 {\an2}LAUGHTER Ah! 435 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,200 {\an2}There may have been some albumen. 436 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,360 {\an2}And you were so enjoying yourself, weren't you? I really was. 437 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,080 {\an2}You were having a lovely time. I did have a lovely time. 438 00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:51,160 {\an2}Good. Shame you failed. 439 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER 440 00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:53,720 {\an2}Shall we have a look at Sophie? 441 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:54,840 {\an2}Sure, yes. 442 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,600 {\an2}It's our final risk-taker. It's Sophie Willan. 443 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:58,960 {\an1}SHE EXHALES 444 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,000 {\an2}Well, it'd be risky to get it on your head, 445 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,480 {\an2}wouldn't it? 446 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,120 {\an2}My grandma used to do, 447 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,240 {\an2}you know, the posture test with an apple on her head. 448 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,360 {\an2}Did she? Yeah, or a book. 449 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,920 {\an2}If you keep your back straight, she says, like this. 450 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,080 {\an2}Do you know what? 451 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:18,320 {\an2}I'm going to try with just this for a start, 452 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,320 {\an2}just to kind of edge in. 453 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,160 {\an2}Right. 454 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,360 {\an2}Your head's a little bit like a nest. 455 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,040 {\an2}Yeah, well, that helps, doesn't it? 456 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,320 {\an2}But it's not... It's still risky, though. Yeah. 457 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,520 {\an2}Hang on, right. 458 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,000 {\an2}Risky. 459 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,480 {\an2}Right, hang on. 460 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:43,720 {\an2}Oh, no. 461 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,800 {\an2}I'm going to... 462 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,160 {\an2}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS Oh! 463 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,720 {\an2}He's gone! 464 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:50,880 {\an2}Oh! 465 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,080 {\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 466 00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,960 {\an2}He's gone! 467 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,760 {\an2}Oh, no. 468 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,200 {\an2}I felt so confident. 469 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,280 {\an2}I was going to do a lunge and everything. 470 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,480 {\an1}LAUGHTER 471 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,800 {\an2}He looks so sad, doesn't he? 472 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,440 {\an2}Thanks. No, thank you, Sophie. 473 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,640 {\an2}Well, I still get a point for trying, don't I? 474 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,240 {\an2}APPLAUSE So, that's... Yeah? 475 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,560 {\an2}I don't want to do an offensive caricature of your accent... 476 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,480 {\an2}Yes, do, though. Go on. ..but... Carry on. 477 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,040 {\an2}..I put it to you 478 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:26,120 {\an2}that your version of creating risk in a situation like this 479 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,760 {\an2}is to occasionally look at the camera and go... 480 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,040 {\an2}IMITATES SOPHIE: ..Risky! 481 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,920 {\an1}LAUGHTER 482 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,440 {\an2}I'm not Johnny fucking Vegas. 483 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER 484 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,880 {\an2}Fucking hell. 485 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,720 {\an2}I said it would be offensive. LAUGHTER 486 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,360 {\an2}It was a very risky thing to do. 487 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,920 {\an2}To put an egg on your head? Yeah. 488 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER 489 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,120 {\an2}With an egg? Come on. 490 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 491 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,720 {\an2}Wow. I think you're going to be a delight for this series. 492 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,280 {\an1}LAUGHTER 493 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,160 {\an2}So, three people broke their egg. Do they get any points, Greg? 494 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,240 {\an2}Well, no. 495 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,360 {\an2}OK, in which case only John and Joanne's eggs survived. 496 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,800 {\an2}I thought that the bubble wrap was very clever, 497 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,880 {\an2}but I don't think there was a lot of risk, 498 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,520 {\an2}so I can't give you five points. OK. OK. 499 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,720 {\an2}But I can give you four... Oh! ..which is a miracle. 500 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,120 {\an2}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Because you...Thrilled.Yeah. 501 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,520 {\an2}You came second. 502 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,240 {\an2}And obviously, we'll give John Robin's effort five points. 503 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,040 {\an2}There we go. Five points. Four points. 504 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,240 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 505 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,800 {\an2}Is it time for the first scoreboard of series 17, Alex? 506 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,280 {\an2}Yes. I can show you the scores. 507 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,440 {\an2}At the bottom of the table, it's Nick with just two. 508 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,160 {\an2}At the top, it's John with nine. 509 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,920 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Wow.There we go. 510 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,040 {\an2}More, please. 511 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,520 {\an2}OK, Greg, and it's time to meet the teams. 512 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,960 {\an2}There we go. Ah-ha! 513 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,160 {\an2}Hi, Alex. 514 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,720 {\an2}What am I looking at? 515 00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,160 {\an2}Oh. That's where you stand. 516 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,760 {\an2}Behind the line? 517 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,800 {\an2}No. Here? 518 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:03,920 {\an2}Yes, please. 519 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,760 {\an2}Yeah, facing you. Not yet. 520 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,080 {\an2}No. 521 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,800 {\an2}Hello! Sophie. Hello. 522 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,200 {\an2}In the red bit, please. Righto. 523 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,080 {\an2}Ah. 524 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,080 {\an2}I'm going to open it. 525 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,640 {\an2}"Create the best single picture 526 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,880 {\an2}"of an animal doing something surprising. 527 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,160 {\an2}"All six blinds must be fully 528 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,200 {\an2}"and equally involved in your picture. 529 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,480 {\an2}"You may not see each other's work." 530 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,880 {\an2}What?! 531 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,480 {\an2}Is there someone else here? 532 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,160 {\an2}I don't know. 533 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,960 {\an2}Hello! Hello! Hello! 534 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,560 {\an2}Is it Steve? It is! 535 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,000 {\an2}Hi, Steve. I literally recognised your voice. It's Nick. 536 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,760 {\an2}What's your name and where'd you come from? 537 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,320 {\an2}I'm John and I come from Bristol. 538 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:52,800 {\an2}Hello! Hello, John. 539 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,280 {\an2}Sophie from Bolton. 540 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,920 {\an2}Oh, lovely stuff. 541 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,760 {\an2}Oh, hello! Who's that? 542 00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,080 {\an2}There's more of us. 543 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,320 {\an2}Hello! Hello. Hello. 544 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,000 {\an2}I'm Joanne. Hello, Joanne. 545 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,320 {\an8}Hello, Steve. Hello. 546 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:06,360 {\an8}Hey, Alex. 547 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,440 {\an2}Right, OK. 548 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,480 {\an2}"Create the best single picture 549 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,640 {\an2}"of an animal doing something surprising." 550 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,520 {\an8}"All six blinds must be fully 551 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,720 {\an8}"and equally involved in your picture. 552 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,520 {\an2}"You may not see each other's work 553 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,640 {\an2}"and you may only say two words at a time." 554 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,520 {\an2}"You may only say two words at a time." 555 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,600 {\an2}Right? 556 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,600 {\an2}"After the task, your pieces will be lined up 557 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,200 {\an2}"next to each other in this order. 558 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,480 {\an8}"One, shortest Wikipedia entry. 559 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,720 {\an8}"Two, Best Show at the Edinburgh Fringe winner." 560 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,720 {\an8}"Smallest shoe size." 561 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,400 {\an8}I think that's me. 562 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:43,040 {\an8}"The person whom Alex said hello to first." 563 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,960 {\an8}"Five, most Twitter followers. 564 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,560 {\an8}"Six, lowest-scoring full name in Scrabble." 565 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,200 {\an8}"You may not move outside of your segment. 566 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,000 {\an8}"You have 15 minutes. 567 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,800 {\an8}"Your time starts when Alex blows his whistle." 568 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:56,840 {\an7}ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 569 00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,560 {\an8}ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE Hi, Nick. 570 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,800 {\an8}Hi, Steve. 571 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,000 {\an8}Pulling blinds. 572 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,320 {\an8}Me, too. 573 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:04,480 {\an7}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 574 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,240 {\an2}But it's funny, at this stage of the game 575 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,200 {\an2}you're all being so sickeningly friendly 576 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,560 {\an2}and polite to each other. 577 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:16,240 {\an2}I'd love to see how that will change over time. 578 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,320 {\an2}Shall we? 579 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:20,400 {\an2}Yes, so, they had to paint one picture per team, 580 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,000 {\an2}and their six segments were going to be lined up 581 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,240 {\an2}in a certain order. Yes. 582 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,320 {\an2}But the main problem is they could only use two words at a time each. 583 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:29,480 {\an2}So, here's how they all got on at painting on blinds, 584 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,840 {\an2}and talking two words at a time, and that sort of thing. 585 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,640 {\an8}Colour? 586 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:34,920 {\an8}Uh, green. 587 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:37,520 {\an2}Lovely. 588 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,720 {\an2}Animal? 589 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,320 {\an2}Giraffe? 590 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,920 {\an2}Lying down? 591 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,280 {\an2}Giving birth. 592 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER 593 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:50,760 {\an8}Dog car. 594 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,040 {\an8}What? 595 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,280 {\an8}Dog car. 596 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,000 {\an8}Oh. OK. Dog driving. 597 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,560 {\an8}Front car. 598 00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,160 {\an2}Giraffe lying. 599 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,120 {\an2}Giraffe lying? 600 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,320 {\an2}Long picture. 601 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:06,200 {\an2}Yes. Portrait. 602 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,960 {\an2}Yes. 603 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,280 {\an2}Which...? Which...? You paint. 604 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,560 {\an2}Which blind? 605 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,000 {\an2}First was? 606 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,880 {\an2}Shortest Wiki. 607 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,240 {\an2}What? Ah. 608 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,600 {\an2}I don't have a fucking clue what's going on.I do. LAUGHTER 609 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,760 {\an8}Oh! Up there! 610 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,160 {\an8}Up where? 611 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:23,480 {\an2}Above door. 612 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,560 {\an2}Ah, fuck! 613 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,320 {\an2}Sophie Wiki? 614 00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,880 {\an2}Vole. Bold? 615 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,880 {\an2}Vole dancing. 616 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,160 {\an2}Sophie Wiki. What? 617 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,080 {\an2}One, Nick. Head, Nick. 618 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:40,080 {\an8}Yes. Two, Steve. 619 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:41,640 {\an8}Neck, yes? 620 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:42,720 {\an8}Yes. 621 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,120 {\an8}Wiki length. 622 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,120 {\an8}Uh, small. 623 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:47,520 {\an2}Joanne length? 624 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,000 {\an2}Mine's longer. 625 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:50,720 {\an2}OK. Wrote myself. 626 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:52,960 {\an1}LAUGHTER 627 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,120 {\an2}Sophie first. You what? 628 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,200 {\an2}Bonnet profile. 629 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,600 {\an2}"Bonnet profile"? 630 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,960 {\an2}Side-on. You what? 631 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,520 {\an2}Side-on. 632 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,160 {\an8}Head height? 633 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,560 {\an2}Mine? 634 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:06,840 {\an2}Nipple. 635 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 636 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,720 {\an2}Confused, Steve. 637 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,080 {\an2}Sophie bonnet. 638 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:13,560 {\an8}Side-on. 639 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,120 {\an8}What the fuck? LAUGHTER 640 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,840 {\an8}Two words. What? What? 641 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,320 {\an2}Private parts? 642 00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:19,720 {\an2}Big ones. 643 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:21,280 {\an2}Legs akimbo? 644 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:22,600 {\an2}Yes, please. 645 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,360 {\an2}Car colour? Car red. 646 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,760 {\an2}Thank you. 647 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,560 {\an2}Paint fence? Fence paint? 648 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:28,760 {\an2}Two words. 649 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:29,920 {\an2}Using roller. 650 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,400 {\an8}Shit. 651 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,320 {\an8}Catching up. 652 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,400 {\an2}Ten seconds left. 653 00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:41,840 {\an7}ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 654 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,400 {\an8}That was really... Yeah. You can't look at each other's work, 655 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,920 {\an2}so if you just head towards the front door... Both of us? Mm-hm. 656 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,480 {\an2}We get to say hello to each other? 657 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,320 {\an2}SOPHIE LAUGHS Hello! 658 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:51,360 {\an2}Hello! 659 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,800 {\an2}THEY LAUGH How are you? 660 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:53,920 {\an2}I'm very good! How are you? 661 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,440 {\an2}Look at your hands. I know. 662 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,960 {\an2}I got a bit carried away, actually, cos I got very confused. 663 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,400 {\an1}LAUGHTER 664 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,040 {\an1}APPLAUSE 665 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,840 {\an2}Did you think you understood what was happening? 666 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,080 {\an2}Yeah, yeah. 667 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:11,520 {\an2}Well, your team-mates did. 668 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,000 {\an2}In fact, one of my favourite moments was when you announced 669 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,760 {\an2}for the third time you didn't know what the fuck was going on, 670 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,280 {\an2}and Joanne went, "I do." 671 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 672 00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:23,280 {\an2}I was like, "Come on!" 673 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,400 {\an2}Why were you shouting "vogue dancing"? LAUGHTER 674 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,640 {\an2}She was shouting "vole". That was "vole". She was... 675 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,200 {\an2}"Vole dancing"? Yeah. 676 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,520 {\an2}They'd agreed to do a dog driving, but... Yeah. 677 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:34,680 {\an2}..she had other ideas. 678 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:35,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 679 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,440 {\an2}Yeah, I thought, "I can draw a vole." 680 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,960 {\an2}Right. Uh, you two, however, seemed like an absolute dream team. 681 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,440 {\an2}We had some Chuckle Brothers energy going on, I think, between us. 682 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,040 {\an2}There was a little confusion about nipple height. 683 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:49,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 684 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,400 {\an2}Yes. Yes. 685 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:51,560 {\an2}Correct me if I'm wrong - 686 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,800 {\an2}the giraffe will specifically have big genitals. 687 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:55,320 {\an2}Yes, that exchange went, 688 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:56,440 {\an2}"Legs akimbo?" 689 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,440 {\an2}"Yes, please." "Private parts?" "Big ones." 690 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,040 {\an1}LAUGHTER 691 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,160 {\an2}Right. Break time. 692 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,920 {\an2}I know you want to see their pictures, 693 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,120 {\an2}but you're just impatient these days, aren't you? 694 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,360 {\an2}so you'll have to wait. 695 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,840 {\an2}I said you'll have to wait! 696 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,120 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 697 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,440 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 698 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,160 {\an2}Yes! 699 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,800 {\an2}Welcome back to Taskmaster. Is it finally time, Alex? 700 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,280 {\an2}It's time, Greg. 701 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,080 {\an2}The teams have painted their best pictures 702 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:30,720 {\an2}of animals doing something surprising 703 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:31,880 {\an2}on their roller blinds, 704 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,560 {\an2}and we're going to see their creations. 705 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,640 {\an2}The order they had to be put in was very specific, 706 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,240 {\an2}which is why it's so impressive 707 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:41,840 {\an2}that Steve and Nick's giraffe giving birth looks like this. 708 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:43,280 {\an1}SOPHIE GASPS, AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 709 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,160 {\an2}Oh, wow! APPLAUSE 710 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:48,120 {\an2}Not bad, is it? Not bad. 711 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,960 {\an2}Sorry, but that's sort of what it looks like. 712 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER 713 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,880 {\an2}Unfortunately, one of them did do landscape, 714 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:55,040 {\an2}one of them did do portrait, 715 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,560 {\an2}so it actually looks like this when you line them up. 716 00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 717 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,440 {\an1}APPLAUSE 718 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:07,840 {\an2}I mean, that certainly helps with the big genitals part of it. 719 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,480 {\an1}LAUGHTER 720 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:10,960 {\an2}It certainly does. 721 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,400 {\an2}It's not a bad start. OK. Uh, dare I ask for the next one? 722 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:15,520 {\an2}Sure. 723 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,280 {\an2}Here is their picture of a dog driving 724 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,800 {\an2}and a cow dancing and bird smoking. 725 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER 726 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,280 {\an2}It's good! 727 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,520 {\an2}I like it. 728 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:28,960 {\an1}APPLAUSE 729 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,880 {\an2}I mean, it's accidental, but I kind of like it as a bit of art. 730 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,720 {\an2}Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll put the two of them next to each other 731 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,160 {\an2}and you can judge them, Greg. Yeah. 732 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,880 {\an2}Uh, there we go. Oh. 733 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,960 {\an2}I will give the giraffe five points, which is over-generous. OK. 734 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,240 {\an2}The other one is absolute madness... 735 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:45,400 {\an1}LAUGHTER 736 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,520 {\an2}..but there's some enjoyable individual effort, 737 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,280 {\an2}so I'm going to give them three points, 738 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:50,840 {\an2}which is again hugely generous. OK. 739 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,400 {\an2}The winners are Nick and Steve. Five points each. Well done. 740 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:54,800 {\an1}APPLAUSE 741 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,320 {\an2}Right, can we please have another one, Alex? 742 00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,360 {\an2}Yes. Yes, we can, Greg, 743 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,480 {\an2}and for this series we've gone down to the Taskmaster farm. 744 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,080 {\an2}AUDIENCE: Ooh! Ooh. 745 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:19,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 746 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:21,160 {\an2}Hey, Alex. 747 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,000 {\an2}This is really exciting. 748 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,720 {\an2}Never seen anything like it, that run. I know. 749 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,240 {\an2}Right. Here we are. 750 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,080 {\an2}Right. The Nile. 751 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,320 {\an2}The Nile. Not really, no. 752 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,280 {\an2}Look at that water. I cannot wait. 753 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:36,120 {\an2}No. 754 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,840 {\an2}"Hoopla Gary before he crosses the finish line." 755 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:43,640 {\an2}"Your time is doubled every time one of your limbs gets wet." 756 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:45,360 {\an2}"Fastest wins." 757 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,200 {\an2}"Your time starts now." 758 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:48,960 {\an2}Is this Gary? 759 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,120 {\an2}I don't know. 760 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,600 {\an2}Is something coming down there? Down the river? 761 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,160 {\an2}Gary?! LAUGHTER 762 00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:59,600 {\an2}Oh, here we go. 763 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:05,680 {\an2}You found Gary. 764 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,200 {\an2}There's a gorilla on a boat. 765 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,640 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 766 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,360 {\an2}I really loved watching Dracula run towards the task. 767 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,280 {\an2}LAUGHTER Thank you. 768 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,960 {\an2}It's really quite life-affirming. 769 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,120 {\an2}Shall we crack on? Sure. Yes, OK. 770 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,240 {\an2}And if you've always wanted to see a vampire attempt 771 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,160 {\an2}to get a hoop over a gorilla on a raft, 772 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,840 {\an2}you're going to absolutely love this. 773 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,400 {\an2}It's Nick. 774 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,840 {\an2}So, I've got to hoopla him around the head? 775 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,120 {\an2}No. 776 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,360 {\an2}Tricky, innit? 777 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:42,680 {\an2}Come on, Gary. 778 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:48,400 {\an2}Oh, God. 779 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:49,920 {\an2}You've only got one hoop left. 780 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,000 {\an1}HE EXHALES 781 00:30:58,360 --> 00:30:59,680 {\an1}LAUGHTER 782 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,000 {\an2}What a let-down. I was really excited about that. 783 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,760 {\an2}All right. Come on, then. 784 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,840 {\an2}Ooh, it's cold! 785 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,480 {\an1}LAUGHTER 786 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,680 {\an2}Is this safe? Cos I'm quite short. LAUGHTER 787 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,120 {\an2}All right. Oh, my God! 788 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,840 {\an2}You've got to hoopla Gary pretty quick now. 789 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,440 {\an2}Come on, Gary. LAUGHTER 790 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:31,200 {\an2}Oh, it...it is cold, innit? 791 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,280 {\an1}APPLAUSE 792 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,120 {\an2}Can I ask you if your arms are wet? 793 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,040 {\an2}My arms aren't wet at all. OK. 794 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,600 {\an2}I'll tell you what's wet - my legs. 795 00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:41,400 {\an2}Well, I'd guessed that. 796 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,920 {\an2}Right, Gary. Which one shall we do? 797 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,120 {\an2}Nailed it. 798 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:48,880 {\an2}I've stopped the clock. 799 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,200 {\an1}APPLAUSE 800 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,440 {\an2}I think you're in danger of ruining Dracula's reputation. 801 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,840 {\an2}LAUGHTER It's like... He's quite camp, isn't he? 802 00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,240 {\an2}I just... 803 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,400 {\an2}He is, but so adorably so. 804 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,200 {\an2}I genuinely enjoyed it. I hadn't been in a river in years. 805 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,120 {\an2}I mean, you don't. LAUGHTER 806 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,000 {\an2}Past a certain age, you don't, do you? No. 807 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:09,920 {\an2}Unless you kind of have, like, a midlife crisis 808 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,760 {\an2}and start wild swimming and stuff, but I've not reached that yet. 809 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:16,240 {\an2}Yeah, wild swimming, or as it was once called, swimming. 810 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,440 {\an2}LAUGHTER Yes. 811 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,040 {\an2}Well done, Nick. Thank you. 812 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,120 {\an2}OK, well, it's time for three more attempts. 813 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,000 {\an2}Not you, Sophie. You're going to have to wait. 814 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:24,200 {\an2}You know what you've done. 815 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:25,560 {\an1}LAUGHTER 816 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,040 {\an2}It's time for John, Joanne, and Steve. 817 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:33,760 {\an2}There's a boat. Ah, there he is! 818 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:35,480 {\an2}Hey, Gary. Wait there a sec. 819 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,160 {\an2}I'm going to try with the small one first. 820 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,120 {\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 821 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:46,640 {\an2}Ooh! AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 822 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:47,800 {\an2}Skimmed. 823 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,160 {\an2}Gary! OK. 824 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,200 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Brilliant. Keep going? 825 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:05,560 {\an2}Well, if you want, but I've stopped the clock. You've stopped the clock? You did it. 826 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,200 {\an2}The wind isn't great now. 827 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,280 {\an2}Ah! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 828 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,840 {\an2}Yes! 829 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,240 {\an2}Alex, I'm running out of things. 830 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,640 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE There we go. 831 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,280 {\an2}You've done well. Thank you. 832 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,320 {\an2}Can I have a couple of distance goes for fun? 833 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,280 {\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 834 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,560 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 835 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:39,080 {\an2}The pleased-with-yourself walk-off. Not really ironic, was it? You were genuinely thrilled. 836 00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,080 {\an2}I'm still pleased with myself. LAUGHTER 837 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,040 {\an2}I would've been as well. Fair play. Enjoy it, Steve? 838 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:45,080 {\an2}Yeah, I enjoyed it. 839 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:46,800 {\an2}It was like being in the fairground again. 840 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,040 {\an2}Boom. Joanne? 841 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,240 {\an2}Loved it. My memory is that I got it the first time. 842 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:53,040 {\an2}Second time for you. Second time, not bad. 843 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,040 {\an2}All three of you, at the end of the day, it's not exciting, 844 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,600 {\an2}but...you did quite well. 845 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:04,400 {\an2}Now, that tells me...that there's a reason why Sophie's been left. 846 00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:06,680 {\an1}LAUGHTER 847 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:08,400 {\an2}It's the last break of the episode. 848 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,680 {\an2}Come back to see who's going to win three things 849 00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:14,160 {\an2}that sound a bit like "Greg Davies", a jug, and some eggs Benedict. 850 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 851 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:30,760 {\an2}Hello, again. Welcome back to the final part of the episode. 852 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,160 {\an2}Yes. Hello to you all, including anyone watching from prison. 853 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,400 {\an1}LAUGHTER 854 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,480 {\an2}The current task sees our cast trying to throw a hoop over Gary, 855 00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:42,880 {\an2}the non-endangered gorilla. 856 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:46,360 {\an2}So far, four people have tried and four people have succeeded. 857 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:47,920 {\an2}Now... 858 00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,120 {\an2}..it's Sophie's turn. 859 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,160 {\an2}I think what I'm going to do is 860 00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:57,960 {\an2}I'm going to wait for Gary to get over here. 861 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,080 {\an2}Right, OK. 862 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:04,560 {\an2}He's taking his time. Come on, Gary. Step it up. 863 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:07,040 {\an1}LAUGHTER 864 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,080 {\an8}Right, let's get going, then. Hang on. 865 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:11,160 {\an8}Come on! 866 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:14,240 {\an7}LAUGHTER 867 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:16,760 {\an8}No. 868 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,040 {\an8}Right, this is my chance, really, in't it? 869 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:20,800 {\an8}Oh... 870 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,600 {\an8}If I don't get him now, I never will. 871 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:24,880 {\an2}Shit. 872 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,040 {\an2}Come on, Gary. 873 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,840 {\an2}No! 874 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,240 {\an2}Come on, Gary. 875 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:31,720 {\an2}Oh, shit. LAUGHTER 876 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,600 {\an2}Come on. 877 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,160 {\an2}Nearly! AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 878 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:40,520 {\an2}Shit. 879 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:43,240 {\an2}It's not gone well. 880 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:44,960 {\an2}Well, you've got about ten seconds. 881 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,120 {\an2}Well, how...? I've not... I don't want... 882 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:48,640 {\an2}Ah! 883 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,200 {\an2}I can't get a limb wet. 884 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:52,720 {\an2}I'll just get one limb... 885 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,800 {\an2}Just one. Ah! Oh, my...! LAUGHTER 886 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,280 {\an2}Ah! Gary! 887 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:00,520 {\an2}Ah! 888 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,360 {\an2}Oh! 889 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:03,800 {\an2}Oh! Oh! 890 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,240 {\an2}LAUGHTER Oh, oh! Ah! Oh, oh! 891 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,120 {\an2}Ah! Ah! 892 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:10,800 {\an2}I'm going down! 893 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,520 {\an2}Oh, my God, Alex! 894 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:15,280 {\an2}Are you all right? Get me out! 895 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:18,280 {\an2}I'll get you out in a bit. Fuck! I nearly drowned. 896 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:20,480 {\an2}Yeah, no, that's very dangerous. Yeah. 897 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:21,920 {\an2}I think I got carried away. 898 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:23,640 {\an2}Yeah. Almost drowned. 899 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,040 {\an2}Are you out? 900 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:26,360 {\an2}It's very... 901 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,120 {\an2}It's like quicksand in the middle. LAUGHTER 902 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,280 {\an2}Oh, my God. 903 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,640 {\an2}Yeah. Have to check on your limbs. 904 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,160 {\an2}I think this... this arm's quite... 905 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,080 {\an2}No, that's wet as well. LAUGHTER 906 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,360 {\an2}Is that Gary? 907 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,080 {\an2}No, that's the scarecrow wearing some waders to keep you dry. 908 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,360 {\an2}Oh, yeah. 909 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,200 {\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 910 00:36:44,240 --> 00:36:46,120 {\an2}Long walk back as well. 911 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,640 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 912 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:52,840 {\an2}Just fascinating. 913 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,160 {\an2}Alex didn't help. 914 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,280 {\an2}Did you notice when I was grappling with my life... 915 00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:57,880 {\an2}LAUGHTER Yeah. 916 00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:58,960 {\an2}He doesn't. 917 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,560 {\an2}There's this myth going around that he's a nice guy. Yeah. 918 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,440 {\an2}I saw it. Yeah. He's an arsehole. Yeah. Yeah. 919 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 920 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:06,320 {\an2}This is where I got intrigued. 921 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,360 {\an2}You seemed to attempt to hop across a river. 922 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:10,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 923 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,360 {\an2}Yeah, I don't think I'd do well in an apocalypse. 924 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:15,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER 925 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,920 {\an2}You know, under pressure. It's a lot, isn't it? 926 00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:19,480 {\an2}It is, yeah. LAUGHTER 927 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,000 {\an2}Do you know what you shouted? What? 928 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,680 {\an2}"I'm going down." 929 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:25,720 {\an1}LAUGHTER 930 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,160 {\an2}And actually, she did look... I was! ..genuinely panicked... Yes. 931 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:32,040 {\an2}..at one point. Yes. No, I would... I would like to apologise... I was. 932 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:33,680 {\an2}..for not doing anything at all to help. 933 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:35,240 {\an2}LAUGHTER I am sorry. I do regret that. 934 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:36,960 {\an2}Well, absolutely awful. 935 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,080 {\an2}So, shall we give some points out? 936 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:41,200 {\an2}Well, Sophie, first of all, didn't actually complete the task, 937 00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:42,680 {\an2}and then got all four limbs wet, 938 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:44,760 {\an2}so I don't know what you want to do with that. 939 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,080 {\an2}Well, I want to give her no points. Right. 940 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER 941 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:50,920 {\an2}But you're the people's champion. 942 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:52,120 {\an2}Yeah. 943 00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:55,200 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 944 00:37:56,720 --> 00:37:58,840 {\an2}Uh, Nick took two minutes 45. 945 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:02,400 {\an2}Two limbs got wet, so that doubles twice to 11 minutes. 946 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:03,920 {\an2}John, two minutes five seconds. 947 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:05,800 {\an2}Steve, one minute 28 seconds. 948 00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:09,520 {\an2}And a new European record, Joanne 48 seconds and five points! 949 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:13,000 {\an2}Wow! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 950 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,520 {\an2}Let's have a look at the scores. Yes, unfortunately, Sophie, 951 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,480 {\an2}you do still have quite a low number - six. 952 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,880 {\an2}At the other end, Joanne, 13, Steve, 14, and John has 15 points. 953 00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,200 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 954 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,240 {\an2}Very good. OK, everyone. 955 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,000 {\an2}For the first time this series, 956 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,800 {\an2}will you please make your way to the stage 957 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,000 {\an2}for the final task of the show? 958 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:34,880 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 959 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,040 {\an2}Hi, Alex. Oh, hi, Greg. Who's going to read the task out for us? 960 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:45,880 {\an2}Oh, I think Nick Mohammed's going to read it. 961 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,080 {\an2}Here we go. "Bring your sausage to life. 962 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,920 {\an2}"You have 30 seconds. 963 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,200 {\an2}"You may not write any words on your drawing. 964 00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:54,600 {\an2}"Best sausage wins." 965 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,640 {\an2}Yes, so, there's going to be four rounds of this, 966 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,120 {\an2}and you're bringing your sausage to life in different ways. 967 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:00,600 {\an2}This is their sausage, Greg. 968 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:01,840 {\an2}Oh, what a lovely sausage. 969 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,320 {\an2}So, every round, you add to the one picture? 970 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:07,320 {\an2}Yes, I'll give you a new characteristic 971 00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:08,920 {\an2}for that sausage. Oh! 972 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:10,920 {\an2}The worst sausage each time will be eliminated. 973 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,040 {\an2}Oh, God. 974 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,720 {\an2}So, Greg will now give you the first category. 975 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:18,680 {\an2}After Alex's whistle, make your sausage human. 976 00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:20,440 {\an1}ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 977 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,800 {\an2}The least human sausage will be eliminated. 978 00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:24,680 {\an2}And they're off, Greg. 979 00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:27,000 {\an2}I will be eliminating someone. 980 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,400 {\an2}Sophie hasn't started. Make it... I've finished. 981 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:30,880 {\an2}Oh, apologies. 982 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,360 {\an1}ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 983 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,000 {\an2}Pens down! 984 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:37,080 {\an2}Round one is over, Greg. Would you like to see Joanne's sausage? 985 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:38,400 {\an2}I would, thank you. 986 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:39,720 {\an2}Oh! 987 00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:41,160 {\an2}Oh, great. LAUGHTER 988 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,880 {\an2}I just immediately drew reproductive organs 989 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:45,200 {\an2}of both sexes, so... 990 00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:46,520 {\an2}Oh, I see. 991 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,440 {\an2}That's just eyes - obviously, very human. 992 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:51,240 {\an2}Teeth, very human. Reproductive organs there. 993 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:53,000 {\an2}That's the fallopian tubes. 994 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:55,400 {\an2}The vulva. 995 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:56,840 {\an2}And then the penis and testes. 996 00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,320 {\an2}You don't get more human than that. 997 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,880 {\an2}Exactly! That's what I was thinking. Nice. That is a strong opener. 998 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,480 {\an2}John, please show Greg your sausage. 999 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,200 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1000 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:09,360 {\an2}I like it, John. 1001 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,840 {\an2}I wanted to give human characteristics 1002 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,680 {\an2}without putting all of my eggs into one human basket. 1003 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:18,560 {\an2}Lovely. I like John's smile. OK. 1004 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,760 {\an2}Not necessarily any more than I like Joanne's penis. 1005 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,840 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1006 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,960 {\an2}OK, it's Nick Mohammed next. 1007 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,240 {\an2}It's similar to John's, in a way. 1008 00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,480 {\an2}Ah. That took 30 seconds, Greg. 1009 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:32,680 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1010 00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:35,480 {\an2}Yeah. You're sticking with the Dracula thing, yeah? 1011 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,480 {\an2}I just suddenly thought that doesn't make it human, though, does it? No. 1012 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,200 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1013 00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:42,040 {\an2}Let's have a look at Sophie's drawing. 1014 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,200 {\an2}I think I've shown humanity in a sausage. 1015 00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:45,600 {\an2}And we've gone portrait as well. 1016 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:46,920 {\an2}Oh. 1017 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:48,640 {\an2}Existentialism. 1018 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1019 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,120 {\an2}He's going through a crisis, all right. 1020 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:53,400 {\an2}He's asking questions. 1021 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,800 {\an2}He is. "Who am I?" It's lovely. Thank you. Do you want to see my sausage? 1022 00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,560 {\an2}Oh, I... I really do, and I'm hoping it's shit. 1023 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,280 {\an2}Oh, no, it's not. Oh, hang on. 1024 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:02,440 {\an2}Pop it up the other way. 1025 00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:05,120 {\an2}We've been here before, haven't we, Steve? 1026 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:07,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1027 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:08,560 {\an2}Sausage party girl. 1028 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,320 {\an2}She's quite fey, isn't she? 1029 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:11,800 {\an2}Yeah, she's off to a festival. 1030 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,400 {\an2}You know, she's hoping to hear some bangers and, um... 1031 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,680 {\an2}Yeah. AUDIENCE GROANS AND LAUGHS 1032 00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:18,400 {\an2}Come on, Greg! 1033 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,680 {\an2}This guy's going to push me to the edge over the series. LAUGHTER 1034 00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:26,800 {\an2}So, you're going to have eliminate one of these, 1035 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,040 {\an2}and this person will get one point, so who is that Greg? 1036 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:33,000 {\an2}I'm going to have to get rid of Dracula. Sorry. Aw. One point to Nick Mohammed. That's all right. 1037 00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:34,240 {\an1}APPLAUSE 1038 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,760 {\an2}Please collect in your sausages. Round two, Greg. 1039 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,080 {\an2}Make your sausage scary. 1040 00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,440 {\an2}Least scary sausage is eliminated. 1041 00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:43,200 {\an2}Adapt that sausage. ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 1042 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,320 {\an2}ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE Pens down! 1043 00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,400 {\an2}Would you like to see some scary sausages, Greg? 1044 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,800 {\an2}Yes, I would. Joanne. 1045 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,920 {\an2}Here's my sausage. Oh! 1046 00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,120 {\an2}Wow. 1047 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,320 {\an2}Thank you. 1048 00:41:58,360 --> 00:41:59,560 {\an2}That is... 1049 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,800 {\an2}And I got rid of the womb, cos men are scarier. 1050 00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:05,360 {\an2}Satan's going to be a man... Yeah. ..right, girls? Right. 1051 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:06,920 {\an2}Am I right? LAUGHTER 1052 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:08,720 {\an2}Do you want to see John's sausage now? 1053 00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,040 {\an2}Yes, I do. 1054 00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:14,040 {\an2}Well, it's still a mouth, but the lipstick... 1055 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:15,840 {\an2}Ah. ..has become blood! 1056 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,720 {\an2}It's blood! LAUGHTER 1057 00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:20,000 {\an2}Sophie. 1058 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1059 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:27,600 {\an2}It looks to me like your sausage is just holding up a big oven chip. 1060 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,360 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1061 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:30,480 {\an2}It's a knife. 1062 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,000 {\an2}Oh, it's a knife. Ah. 1063 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:33,720 {\an2}If I'd have got the blood in, 1064 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,560 {\an2}an angry sausage on a... on the rampage. 1065 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,840 {\an2}Steve? Um, so... 1066 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,320 {\an2}Oh, nice. 1067 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:41,760 {\an2}..she's gone psycho. 1068 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,520 {\an2}It's Texas Chainsaw Sausage. 1069 00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:45,680 {\an2}And she's holding the head of a human. 1070 00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:48,360 {\an2}Four scary sausages, Greg. Which one were you least scared of? 1071 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:51,000 {\an2}I think we all know which one I was least scared of. LAUGHTER 1072 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:52,600 {\an2}I'm afraid Sophie is eliminated. 1073 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,400 {\an2}Two points to Sophie Willan. 1074 00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,520 {\an2}APPLAUSE Unlucky, Sophie. 1075 00:42:58,080 --> 00:42:59,280 {\an2}OK, what's round three, Greg? 1076 00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:02,600 {\an2}Round three is make your sausage sporty. Adapt that sausage. 1077 00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:03,920 {\an1}ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 1078 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,120 {\an2}ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE Stop adapting your sausages. 1079 00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:12,120 {\an2}Would you like to see Joanne's sporty sausage? 1080 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:13,800 {\an2}You know I would. LAUGHTER 1081 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1082 00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,400 {\an2}Tennis racquet. Oh, is that what it is? 1083 00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,160 {\an2}Yeah. Egg and spoon. LAUGHTER 1084 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,280 {\an2}Footballs. Yeah. 1085 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:24,680 {\an2}And that's speed. 1086 00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:25,920 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1087 00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,240 {\an2}What I'm seeing is a big sausage on wheels 1088 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:29,840 {\an2}farting its way towards a lollypop. 1089 00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:31,960 {\an2}LAUGHTER He's moving, though. 1090 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,800 {\an2}Would you like to see John's sporty sausage? 1091 00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:34,880 {\an2}Yes, please. 1092 00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,000 {\an2}Picture the scene. LAUGHTER 1093 00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:41,400 {\an2}A velodrome. OK. 1094 00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:45,520 {\an2}Team GB are going for the, uh, cycling gold. 1095 00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,600 {\an2}Uh, they're on their bicycles... Yeah. 1096 00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:51,400 {\an2}..which are at the bottom, and they're cycling so fast, Greg, 1097 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,720 {\an2}they've given themselves terrible gum disease. 1098 00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:56,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1099 00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:57,800 {\an2}One sausage left, Greg. 1100 00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,400 {\an2}This is, um... Hockey. ..a hockey game. 1101 00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:01,440 {\an2}Yeah. 1102 00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:03,840 {\an2}We've got the hockey stick with the fingers holding it, 1103 00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:05,120 {\an2}and this person's tackling. 1104 00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:06,160 {\an2}Yeah. 1105 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:07,560 {\an8}And this is the ball... Yeah. 1106 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,320 {\an8}..and, uh, the sausage character... is about to score... 1107 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,840 {\an2}Lovely. ..a goal. I could see it was hockey straight away. 1108 00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,480 {\an2}Least sporty sausage, Greg. 1109 00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,040 {\an2}I just don't believe that Team GB suffer 1110 00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:17,960 {\an2}from cracked and bleeding mouths... 1111 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1112 00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:20,560 {\an2}..so I'm going to eliminate John. 1113 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,560 {\an2}Third place and three points to John Robins. 1114 00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,240 {\an1}APPLAUSE 1115 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:25,680 {\an2}Woo! 1116 00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:29,200 {\an2}What is the final category, Greg? Make your sausage sexy. 1117 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,640 {\an2}Adapt those sausages. ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 1118 00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,560 {\an2}And they're off.Oh, Christ. LAUGHTER 1119 00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:38,880 {\an1}ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE 1120 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,360 {\an2}Stop making your sausages sexy, please. 1121 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,000 {\an2}Would you like to see Joanne's sexy sausage first? 1122 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,640 {\an2}Let's see that sexed-up sausage. LAUGHTER 1123 00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:47,080 {\an2}This is a stripper pole... 1124 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:48,560 {\an2}Oh. 1125 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:51,520 {\an2}..that it's spinning around on. Yes, the sexiest of all things. 1126 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,480 {\an2}These are, uh, some breasts. 1127 00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:55,240 {\an2}Yes. 1128 00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:56,720 {\an2}Quite... Quite a few breasts. 1129 00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,040 {\an2}Yeah, well, it's a sausage. He's not short of space. 1130 00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:00,760 {\an2}These are kind of, you know, 1131 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,320 {\an2}the kinky boots that sexy women wear. Uh-huh. 1132 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,000 {\an2}This is some sort of thong. 1133 00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,200 {\an2}Yeah. A bit of lingerie. 1134 00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:07,840 {\an2}That's it - a thong on a sausage. 1135 00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:09,120 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1136 00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,880 {\an2}Now you've got Poppa's attention. LAUGHTER 1137 00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:16,280 {\an2}And then this is a gimp mask on the head. OK. 1138 00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:17,840 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1139 00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:21,240 {\an2}Thank you, Joanne. APPLAUSE 1140 00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,200 {\an2}Steve, the heat is on. 1141 00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:25,040 {\an2}We've gone a little bit S&M. 1142 00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:26,920 {\an2}We've got a nice harness on. Yeah. 1143 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,600 {\an2}We've added some lipstick for sexiness. Mm. So sexy. 1144 00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:31,120 {\an2}So, that is a sexy mouth. Yeah. 1145 00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:32,280 {\an8}There's the whip there. 1146 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,080 {\an8}Yeah. Can you see the sexy braids? Absolutely. 1147 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,920 {\an2}If I want to get sexy, you'd better get them braids in. 1148 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,960 {\an1}LAUGHTER 1149 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,320 {\an2}I can't mark these on sexiness, 1150 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,720 {\an2}so I think what I've got to do is to give the most points 1151 00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:49,400 {\an2}to the sheer amount of sexual reference. 1152 00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,640 {\an2}There's more sexual references in Joanne's weird drawing 1153 00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:54,520 {\an2}than there is in Steve's weird drawing, 1154 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:55,720 {\an2}so let's go four and five. 1155 00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:58,440 {\an2}There we go. The winner is Joanne McNally - five points! 1156 00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:00,400 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1157 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,480 {\an2}So, why don't you all come down here 1158 00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,080 {\an2}and we'll see what that's done to the final scores? 1159 00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:06,600 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1160 00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:12,320 {\an2}Oh, hi, everyone. Wow. 1161 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:15,640 {\an2}Oh, so many sausages. Those sausages rocked. Yeah. 1162 00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,920 {\an2}Greg, we have a three-way tie. Look at the scoreboard. 1163 00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:20,320 {\an2}Whoa! 1164 00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:23,600 {\an2}Yes, Joanne, John, and Steve are in the lead. 1165 00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,880 {\an1}APPLAUSE 1166 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:27,320 {\an2}Well, what are we going to do? 1167 00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:30,440 {\an2}We do a chess piece in a chest of peas tie-break, Greg. 1168 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:31,520 {\an2}Obviously. 1169 00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,840 {\an2}Let's see how they all got on. 1170 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:37,640 {\an2}"Which chess piece is not in the peas chest?" 1171 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,280 {\an2}"Fastest correct answer wins." 1172 00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,480 {\an2}"Your time starts now." 1173 00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,920 {\an2}I don't know anything about chess, so I'm just going to guess. 1174 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,280 {\an2}Sorry, dear. So sorry, dear. 1175 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,240 {\an2}No-one else is going to know this either, 1176 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:51,480 {\an2}except for Steve Pemberton. 1177 00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,840 {\an2}Six, seven. My answer is a white pawn. 1178 00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:55,640 {\an2}So, there's a pawn missing, then. 1179 00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:57,560 {\an2}I bet it's one that's somewhere in the... 1180 00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:59,600 {\an2}Oh, it's this one. Stop. 1181 00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,000 {\an2}Ah, yes! 1182 00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:02,840 {\an1}APPLAUSE 1183 00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:06,240 {\an2}Well, I think we have a winner, don't we? 1184 00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:08,360 {\an2}We do. I can tell you Joanne was four minutes 28, 1185 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:09,520 {\an2}John, one minute 26, 1186 00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:11,640 {\an2}Steve Pemberton, 13 seconds, and the episode. 1187 00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:13,840 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1188 00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,480 {\an2}Steve Pemberton wins! 1189 00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,640 {\an2}Please go and fumble with the things that you can mumble. 1190 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,320 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1191 00:47:26,240 --> 00:47:28,840 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUES 1192 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,000 {\an8}Subtitles by Red Bee Media