1 00:00:02,685 --> 00:00:04,925 {\an2}SHE SQUAWKS Ahh! 2 00:00:04,965 --> 00:00:06,485 {\an2}BELL RINGS Good evening. 3 00:00:08,245 --> 00:00:10,645 {\an2}Argh! SLURPS LOUDLY 4 00:00:10,685 --> 00:00:12,245 {\an2}Argh! Ah! 5 00:00:12,285 --> 00:00:13,685 {\an1}HE VOCALISES 6 00:00:13,725 --> 00:00:15,125 {\an2}I trained at RADA. 7 00:00:15,165 --> 00:00:17,125 {\an2}What have I created?! 8 00:00:17,165 --> 00:00:19,245 {\an2}So sorry. 9 00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:20,845 {\an2}How we laughed. 10 00:00:20,885 --> 00:00:21,885 {\an2}Ahh! 11 00:00:23,645 --> 00:00:29,205 {\an2}This programme contains strong language and adult humour from the start 12 00:00:33,285 --> 00:00:35,085 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello! 13 00:00:35,125 --> 00:00:37,645 {\an2}Thank you! Welcome to Taskmaster. 14 00:00:37,685 --> 00:00:40,565 {\an2}I'm the lord of the jungle, and I'm about to eat. 15 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:42,005 {\an2}What will I enjoy today? 16 00:00:42,045 --> 00:00:45,765 {\an2}A Clary casserole, some Campbell and Beaumont sausages? 17 00:00:45,805 --> 00:00:47,205 {\an2}Maybe a Wokoma ribeye, 18 00:00:47,245 --> 00:00:49,885 {\an2}or an omelette made of Sue Perkins' hands? 19 00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:53,125 {\an2}Get the buffet ready, m-papa's sta-arving! 20 00:00:53,165 --> 00:00:54,525 {\an1}LAUGHTER 21 00:00:54,565 --> 00:00:57,445 {\an2}Please welcome to the show Julian Clary... 22 00:00:57,485 --> 00:00:58,605 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 23 00:00:58,645 --> 00:01:00,805 {\an2}..Lucy Beaumont... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 24 00:01:00,845 --> 00:01:02,725 {\an2}..Sam Campbell... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 25 00:01:02,765 --> 00:01:04,645 {\an2}..Sue Perkins... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 26 00:01:04,685 --> 00:01:07,325 {\an2}..and Susan Wokoma! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 27 00:01:08,685 --> 00:01:12,045 {\an2}And next to me, a man who once hospitalised himself 28 00:01:12,085 --> 00:01:15,645 {\an2}doing high kicks to Toxic by Britney Spears. 29 00:01:15,685 --> 00:01:18,485 {\an2}HIGH-PITCHED: It's a-little Alex Hooorne! 30 00:01:18,525 --> 00:01:23,325 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello! 31 00:01:23,365 --> 00:01:26,565 {\an2}Well, look, I've come up with a brand-new format slash game. 32 00:01:26,605 --> 00:01:28,205 {\an2}It's called Greg and Alex. 33 00:01:28,245 --> 00:01:30,965 {\an2}Here we go. I've got these. 34 00:01:31,005 --> 00:01:33,725 {\an2}So, there'll be some questions. You hold up whether it's me or you, 35 00:01:33,765 --> 00:01:35,245 {\an2}what you think the answer's to, 36 00:01:35,285 --> 00:01:38,565 {\an2}we'll see how similar we think about things. 37 00:01:38,605 --> 00:01:41,565 {\an2}Question one, who is the best at cooking? 38 00:01:42,765 --> 00:01:45,165 {\an2}Oh, we both think it's you! Oh-ho. 39 00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:46,725 {\an1}LAUGHTER 40 00:01:46,765 --> 00:01:48,885 {\an2}Who is the best at tidying up? 41 00:01:51,525 --> 00:01:54,325 {\an2}Who has the most trouble sleeping at night because of all 42 00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,925 {\an2}the difficult thoughts racing through their head? 43 00:01:56,965 --> 00:01:59,285 {\an1}LAUGHTER 44 00:02:01,005 --> 00:02:03,085 {\an2}Who bought the other one a present? 45 00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:05,685 {\an2}I've got you a present, cos of your... 46 00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:08,405 {\an2}..cos of your troubled brain. So I got you a little, er... 47 00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:10,645 {\an2}Thank you. ..a little necklace with two feathers on. 48 00:02:10,685 --> 00:02:12,405 {\an2}Thanks. AUDIENCE AWWS 49 00:02:12,445 --> 00:02:13,645 {\an2}Prize task time! 50 00:02:13,685 --> 00:02:16,645 {\an2}What's the category this week, you weirdo? 51 00:02:16,685 --> 00:02:19,125 {\an2}It's... DRUM ROLL 52 00:02:19,165 --> 00:02:22,285 {\an2}..the best single-word object you own and love that gets the best 53 00:02:22,325 --> 00:02:24,765 {\an2}reaction when introduced following a drum roll. 54 00:02:24,805 --> 00:02:26,365 {\an2}Hmm! Wow. Yes. 55 00:02:26,405 --> 00:02:29,485 {\an2}5 points for the best single-word object they own and love, 56 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,925 {\an2}and at the end of the show, the person with the highest score 57 00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:33,325 {\an2}will take home all five... 58 00:02:33,365 --> 00:02:35,285 {\an1}DRUM ROLL 59 00:02:35,325 --> 00:02:36,805 {\an2}..prizes. Lots more... 60 00:02:36,845 --> 00:02:38,405 {\an1}LAUGHTER 61 00:02:40,805 --> 00:02:42,965 {\an2}..of that coming up right now, Greg. 62 00:02:43,005 --> 00:02:44,445 {\an2}Hello, Lucy. Oh. 63 00:02:44,485 --> 00:02:46,005 {\an1}DRUM ROLL 64 00:02:46,045 --> 00:02:47,965 {\an2}What is it? 65 00:02:48,005 --> 00:02:49,805 {\an2}A-Alien device. 66 00:02:49,845 --> 00:02:52,485 {\an1}LAUGHTER 67 00:02:54,365 --> 00:02:56,885 {\an2}You heard "one-word object." It is... 68 00:02:58,925 --> 00:03:02,445 {\an2}..alien device. ..device. 69 00:03:02,485 --> 00:03:03,685 {\an2}Here it is. 70 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:06,565 {\an1}LAUGHTER 71 00:03:06,605 --> 00:03:11,325 {\an2}So, that was in my mum's ear canal... 72 00:03:13,005 --> 00:03:18,085 {\an1}..for about two years and 36 months. 73 00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:19,485 {\an2}Two years... 74 00:03:19,525 --> 00:03:21,925 {\an1}LAUGHTER 75 00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:24,045 {\an2}That's enough. That's five years. 76 00:03:25,525 --> 00:03:28,645 {\an2}It's however you want to say it. OK. 77 00:03:28,685 --> 00:03:31,725 {\an2}Er, don't want to brag, but I took her to one of 78 00:03:31,765 --> 00:03:34,645 {\an2}the best ear doctors in the UK. 79 00:03:34,685 --> 00:03:38,805 {\an2}He said, "Whatever is in your mum's ear is not impacted wax," 80 00:03:38,845 --> 00:03:43,685 {\an2}and then, basically, there'd been UFO sightings over, 81 00:03:43,725 --> 00:03:46,645 {\an2}over where my mum lived, just like, 82 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,445 {\an2}like, literally like above the house. 83 00:03:49,485 --> 00:03:52,765 {\an2}And then, all I'm saying is that... 84 00:03:52,805 --> 00:03:54,885 {\an1}LAUGHTER 85 00:03:54,925 --> 00:03:56,925 {\an2}..that fell out of her ear, 86 00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:59,605 {\an2}and then, the cat licked and it, the cat disappeared. 87 00:03:59,645 --> 00:04:01,885 {\an1}LAUGHTER 88 00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:06,645 {\an2}Thank you, Lucy. 89 00:04:07,845 --> 00:04:10,885 {\an2}LAUGHTER CONTINUES Julian. 90 00:04:10,925 --> 00:04:13,725 {\an1}DRUM ROLL 91 00:04:13,765 --> 00:04:15,245 {\an2}A jacket. 92 00:04:15,285 --> 00:04:17,605 {\an1}LAUGHTER 93 00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:22,005 {\an1}APPLAUSE 94 00:04:24,045 --> 00:04:27,245 {\an2}Now we're getting somewhere. Yeah. 95 00:04:27,285 --> 00:04:30,285 {\an2}If I'm going out on an evening with someone I don't much like, 96 00:04:30,325 --> 00:04:32,045 {\an2}you can flash that as you leave. 97 00:04:32,085 --> 00:04:34,005 {\an1}LAUGHTER 98 00:04:34,045 --> 00:04:35,925 {\an2}Thank you. Sue. 99 00:04:35,965 --> 00:04:39,245 {\an1}DRUM ROLL 100 00:04:39,285 --> 00:04:41,085 {\an8}Greg(gs)! 101 00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:44,925 {\an8}Ooh! AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 102 00:04:44,965 --> 00:04:46,525 {\an2}Wow! Wow. 103 00:04:46,565 --> 00:04:48,885 {\an2}Is that me made out of pastry? 104 00:04:48,925 --> 00:04:52,325 {\an2}Yes.Oh, my God. LAUGHTER 105 00:04:52,365 --> 00:04:54,005 {\an2}Sensational. 106 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:57,165 {\an8}Your ears have crumbled a little bit over time. They have. 107 00:04:57,205 --> 00:04:59,125 {\an8}The eyes are glue. Erm... 108 00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:00,765 {\an7}LAUGHTER 109 00:05:00,805 --> 00:05:04,165 {\an2}..and took a long time, and some of it's under my fingernails. 110 00:05:04,205 --> 00:05:05,605 {\an2}Wow. Yeah. 111 00:05:05,645 --> 00:05:07,725 {\an2}Sue, you've surpassed yourself. 112 00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:10,125 {\an2}Hi, Susan. Oh, gosh. Hi. 113 00:05:10,165 --> 00:05:11,405 {\an2}What have you brought in? 114 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:14,845 {\an1}DRUM ROLL 115 00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:17,325 {\an2}Calendar! 116 00:05:17,365 --> 00:05:19,805 {\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 117 00:05:19,845 --> 00:05:22,325 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 118 00:05:23,765 --> 00:05:27,165 {\an2}Er, I finished doing a film towards the end of last year. 119 00:05:27,205 --> 00:05:29,405 {\an2}And you normally have like a big party. 120 00:05:29,445 --> 00:05:31,325 {\an2}And some people give you gifts. 121 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,805 {\an2}And I was presented with this. 122 00:05:33,845 --> 00:05:37,205 {\an2}To this day, I don't know what vibe I give off. 123 00:05:37,245 --> 00:05:40,205 {\an1}LAUGHTER 124 00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:47,205 {\an2}But I just love that somebody looked at me at work and went, 125 00:05:47,245 --> 00:05:50,645 {\an2}"D'you know what she wants? A calendar of cat balls." 126 00:05:50,685 --> 00:05:53,965 {\an2}I mean, the one in the middle, come on. 127 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,925 {\an2}LAUGHTER CONTINUES It needs putting down. 128 00:05:59,165 --> 00:06:02,085 {\an2}Sam, the heat is on. What have you brought in? 129 00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:04,045 {\an1}DRUM ROLL 130 00:06:05,325 --> 00:06:06,485 {\an2}Cobalt! 131 00:06:06,525 --> 00:06:09,205 {\an1}LAUGHTER 132 00:06:11,325 --> 00:06:12,685 {\an2}Go on. 133 00:06:12,725 --> 00:06:14,645 {\an2}Well, I used to live near Tempi, in Australia. 134 00:06:14,685 --> 00:06:17,245 {\an2}You're so close to the flight path, so planes would go over, 135 00:06:17,285 --> 00:06:18,485 {\an2}and the locals hated it. 136 00:06:18,525 --> 00:06:20,885 {\an2}They commissioned an artwork, and it was like a sculpture, 137 00:06:20,925 --> 00:06:22,405 {\an2}and it was all kids with their ears, 138 00:06:22,445 --> 00:06:24,765 {\an2}like, hands over their ears, like, "Ahh!" 139 00:06:24,805 --> 00:06:27,565 {\an2}And then, they changed how high the planes were flying. 140 00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:30,885 {\an1}LAUGHTER 141 00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:32,565 {\an2}Where'd you get the cobalt? 142 00:06:32,605 --> 00:06:34,005 {\an2}Online. 143 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,845 {\an1}LAUGHTER CONTINUES 144 00:06:40,725 --> 00:06:42,765 {\an2}And you think it's good after a drum roll, 145 00:06:42,805 --> 00:06:45,565 {\an2}because there's background story of - it affected a...? 146 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:48,845 {\an2}Oh, that story, yeah, I just - everyone was telling a story, so... 147 00:06:50,965 --> 00:06:52,165 {\an2}OK. Yeah. 148 00:06:52,205 --> 00:06:53,645 {\an2}I don't want to give anyone 1 point 149 00:06:53,685 --> 00:06:55,805 {\an2}because I really enjoyed those stories. Mm-hm. 150 00:06:55,845 --> 00:06:58,085 {\an2}I'm going to give Sam 2 points, 151 00:06:58,125 --> 00:07:00,845 {\an2}and he'd better thank me for it. 152 00:07:00,885 --> 00:07:05,725 {\an2}I'm going to give "alien device" 3, because it's insane. 153 00:07:05,765 --> 00:07:09,005 {\an2}I'm going to give Julian and Susan 4 points. 154 00:07:09,045 --> 00:07:13,925 {\an2}Think it's really egotistical of me to put Greg(gs) as number one? 155 00:07:13,965 --> 00:07:15,645 {\an2}Well, that's the way it's fallen. 156 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,165 {\an1}LAUGHTER 157 00:07:17,205 --> 00:07:19,165 {\an2}5 points. Well done, Sue Perkins. 158 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:21,645 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 159 00:07:23,925 --> 00:07:27,645 {\an2}On we go! Are we ever going to find out about that secret task, Alex? 160 00:07:27,685 --> 00:07:29,965 {\an2}Maybe, Greg, maybe right now! 161 00:07:30,005 --> 00:07:31,325 {\an1}AUDIENCE OOHS 162 00:07:43,485 --> 00:07:45,205 {\an2}Sam, Julian. 163 00:07:45,245 --> 00:07:46,685 {\an2}Hi. Lucy. 164 00:07:46,725 --> 00:07:49,165 {\an2}Are you happy with me reading it, do you want to read it with me? 165 00:07:49,205 --> 00:07:51,445 {\an2}No, you read it. You sure? Yeah. All right, OK. 166 00:07:51,485 --> 00:07:53,765 {\an2}Right. 167 00:07:53,805 --> 00:07:56,005 {\an2}This is not a team task. What? 168 00:07:56,045 --> 00:07:58,125 {\an2}What?! We've bonded. 169 00:07:58,165 --> 00:07:59,805 {\an2}We've shared a bag of Nik Naks. 170 00:07:59,845 --> 00:08:01,925 {\an2}I'll come over and... I'm so sorry. 171 00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:05,645 {\an2}"This is not a team task. Find the secret task. 172 00:08:06,725 --> 00:08:09,605 {\an2}"You must never be in the same room as each other. 173 00:08:09,645 --> 00:08:12,125 {\an2}"Whenever the air horn sounds, 174 00:08:12,165 --> 00:08:16,365 {\an2}"you must replace anything you are holding and change rooms. 175 00:08:16,405 --> 00:08:20,365 {\an2}"Everyone must find the secret task before the task ends." 176 00:08:20,405 --> 00:08:22,925 {\an2}In a way, it is a team task, cos we've got to succeed 177 00:08:22,965 --> 00:08:24,525 {\an2}for the thing to succeed. 178 00:08:24,565 --> 00:08:26,525 {\an2}Can I ask one question from you? 179 00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:28,965 {\an2}Has the task been ever-present through the whole time 180 00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:30,565 {\an2}we've been here? A secret task? 181 00:08:30,605 --> 00:08:32,605 {\an2}Yeah. No, it's been on my mind. 182 00:08:34,085 --> 00:08:35,485 {\an2}He's not going to tell you. 183 00:08:35,525 --> 00:08:37,605 {\an2}If we cross on the corridor, is that bad? 184 00:08:37,645 --> 00:08:39,165 {\an2}You do what you want. 185 00:08:39,205 --> 00:08:41,485 {\an2}So, I can say "hi" occasionally? Yeah, OK. 186 00:08:41,525 --> 00:08:43,805 {\an2}Please read the last line, Julian. 187 00:08:43,845 --> 00:08:45,965 {\an2}"Your time starts now." 188 00:08:46,005 --> 00:08:47,005 {\an1}HORN BLOWS 189 00:08:47,045 --> 00:08:49,445 {\an2}OK. Where do you want to go? OK, I don't know. 190 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,125 {\an1}APPLAUSE 191 00:08:58,725 --> 00:09:00,565 {\an1}I don't want to hang about long, 192 00:09:00,605 --> 00:09:04,365 {\an1}I would just like to say I find it sickening how well you two get on. 193 00:09:04,405 --> 00:09:06,965 {\an2}Every time they get together and do a team task, 194 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:09,565 {\an1}it's like watching the Famous Five. LAUGHTER 195 00:09:09,605 --> 00:09:12,885 {\an2}Thank God for Julian, when Sam was asking questions 196 00:09:12,925 --> 00:09:14,885 {\an2}about the secret task, went... 197 00:09:14,925 --> 00:09:17,405 {\an2}EXHASPERATEDLY: .."He's not going to tell you." 198 00:09:17,445 --> 00:09:19,965 {\an1}LAUGHTER 199 00:09:20,005 --> 00:09:21,285 {\an2}Let's crack on. 200 00:09:21,325 --> 00:09:25,605 {\an2}OK, here are secret sourcing Sues, first of all. 201 00:09:25,645 --> 00:09:27,605 {\an2}Bye! I'll let you know when I find it! OK. 202 00:09:29,045 --> 00:09:31,165 {\an2}Shut, shut, shut. 203 00:09:31,205 --> 00:09:33,885 {\an2}Ah. No. 204 00:09:33,925 --> 00:09:35,405 {\an2}In the oven. All empty. 205 00:09:37,685 --> 00:09:39,045 {\an2}OK. 206 00:09:39,085 --> 00:09:40,725 {\an2}"This is not the secret task. 207 00:09:40,765 --> 00:09:43,485 {\an2}"The secret task is under the initials." 208 00:09:43,525 --> 00:09:45,525 {\an2}What's that? No. 209 00:09:46,725 --> 00:09:49,125 {\an2}HORN BLARES Please change areas. 210 00:09:49,165 --> 00:09:50,165 {\an2}Hi, love! 211 00:09:50,205 --> 00:09:52,725 {\an2}There's something underneath the big pineapple. 212 00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:57,045 {\an2}A secret task is under the initials. 213 00:09:57,085 --> 00:09:59,205 {\an2}Where's the initials? Now, where are the initials? 214 00:09:59,245 --> 00:10:00,925 {\an2}HORN BLARES Please change areas. 215 00:10:00,965 --> 00:10:03,885 {\an2}Don't go in the shed, there's nothing there for you! 216 00:10:03,925 --> 00:10:06,285 {\an2}OK, I'm going to up here to some initials! 217 00:10:06,325 --> 00:10:08,325 {\an2}"Under the initials." 218 00:10:08,365 --> 00:10:10,885 {\an2}Right, there's nothing in here. 219 00:10:10,925 --> 00:10:12,925 {\an2}SHE GASPS Oh, my God! 220 00:10:12,965 --> 00:10:14,565 {\an2}Hmm, drawn a blank there. 221 00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:15,925 {\an2}"This is not the secret task. 222 00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:18,365 {\an2}"The secret task is buried under buildings." 223 00:10:18,405 --> 00:10:19,405 {\an1}HORN BLARES 224 00:10:19,445 --> 00:10:22,085 {\an2}Secret task is buried under buildings! 225 00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:24,645 {\an2}All right, buried under buildings. 226 00:10:24,685 --> 00:10:27,525 {\an2}Is there any, like, a thingy that looks like a building? 227 00:10:28,925 --> 00:10:30,525 {\an2}Right. 228 00:10:30,565 --> 00:10:33,405 {\an2}Ooh-hoo-hoo! You sneaky beast. 229 00:10:33,445 --> 00:10:35,325 {\an2}"Buried under building." 230 00:10:35,365 --> 00:10:37,805 {\an2}SHE EXHALES Breathe. 231 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,805 {\an2}"A secret task is beneath the Taskmaster." 232 00:10:40,845 --> 00:10:41,845 {\an2}He's in the garden. 233 00:10:41,885 --> 00:10:43,845 {\an2}I can't see pictures of any buildings. 234 00:10:43,885 --> 00:10:45,325 {\an2}Have you found the secret task yet? 235 00:10:45,365 --> 00:10:46,885 {\an1}It's buried under some buildings... 236 00:10:46,925 --> 00:10:48,485 {\an2}HORN BLARES Ahh! Fucking hell! 237 00:10:48,525 --> 00:10:50,445 {\an2}You must change, you must change room. 238 00:10:50,485 --> 00:10:52,485 {\an2}I'm going to the Taskmaster! OK! 239 00:10:52,525 --> 00:10:55,165 {\an2}"Under a building," the building, there's like... 240 00:10:55,205 --> 00:10:56,205 {\an2}Oh! 241 00:10:56,245 --> 00:10:57,285 {\an2}What does it say, Sue? 242 00:10:57,325 --> 00:11:00,445 {\an2}Have you found the secret task? "This is not a secret task." Ah. 243 00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:01,925 {\an2}"The secret task is inside." 244 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:05,245 {\an2}"The secret task is often behind you." 245 00:11:05,285 --> 00:11:07,125 {\an2}HORN BLARES Please change areas. 246 00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:09,045 {\an2}Buried under buildings, under the initial... 247 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,085 {\an1}HORN BLARES 248 00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:11,965 {\an2}Buried under buildings under... HORN BLARES 249 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,925 {\an2}Underneath the Taskmaster... HORN BLARES 250 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,765 {\an2}Buried under the... ..Under the building. 251 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,965 {\an2}HORN BLARES Hang on a minute. 252 00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:20,605 {\an2}The secret task is beneath... 253 00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:21,645 {\an2}Oh! 254 00:11:24,045 --> 00:11:25,525 {\an2}There's a T here. 255 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,525 {\an1}AUDIENCE OOHS 256 00:11:33,285 --> 00:11:34,805 {\an2}This is the secret task. 257 00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:38,125 {\an2}"If you found this task fastest, you must choose one contestant 258 00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:41,005 {\an8}"who will lose 5 points." AUDIENCE GASPS 259 00:11:41,045 --> 00:11:42,525 {\an2}"If you found it second fastest, 260 00:11:42,565 --> 00:11:44,885 {\an8}"you must choose one contestant who'll lose one point. 261 00:11:44,925 --> 00:11:47,285 {\an8}"If you found this third, one gets a special hat. 262 00:11:47,325 --> 00:11:49,645 {\an8}"Fourth-fastest" - oh, I like the special hat. 263 00:11:49,685 --> 00:11:51,885 {\an2}"You must choose a contestant who will gain a point. 264 00:11:51,925 --> 00:11:53,845 {\an8}"If you found it slowest choose one contestant 265 00:11:53,885 --> 00:11:56,365 {\an8}"who will gain 5 points. You must not choose yourself." 266 00:11:56,405 --> 00:11:58,125 {\an2}Only because I've never met him before, 267 00:11:58,165 --> 00:11:59,645 {\an2}and he's young and beautiful, 268 00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:01,605 {\an2}and he'll get over this, Sam Campbell! 269 00:12:01,645 --> 00:12:03,125 {\an2}HORN BLARES You must change areas. 270 00:12:03,165 --> 00:12:04,845 {\an2}Can I come in there? OK, yes, so... 271 00:12:04,885 --> 00:12:07,925 {\an2}I think it's in there, and I think it's underneath, erm, Greg. 272 00:12:10,125 --> 00:12:13,725 {\an2}Right, it's often behind you, which is there. 273 00:12:13,765 --> 00:12:16,765 {\an2}It's underneath the Taskmaster, which is him. 274 00:12:16,805 --> 00:12:19,965 {\an2}It's beneath the bloody initials. 275 00:12:20,005 --> 00:12:22,045 {\an1}SHE SQUEALS 276 00:12:22,085 --> 00:12:24,365 {\an2}I found it, Sue! I think. 277 00:12:24,405 --> 00:12:26,485 {\an2}YEAH, I FOUND IT! SHE GIGGLES 278 00:12:26,525 --> 00:12:28,845 {\an2}Do I just choose a name? 279 00:12:28,885 --> 00:12:30,725 {\an2}Erm, Sam Campbell! 280 00:12:30,765 --> 00:12:31,765 {\an1}HORN BLARES 281 00:12:34,485 --> 00:12:36,765 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 282 00:12:38,005 --> 00:12:40,765 {\an2}Do you see what I mean about the Famous Five thing? 283 00:12:40,805 --> 00:12:44,285 {\an2}"Don't go to the shed, there's nothing there for you!" 284 00:12:44,325 --> 00:12:46,125 {\an2}Let's have some ginger beer! 285 00:12:47,325 --> 00:12:50,325 {\an2}What the hell have you both got in for Sam Campbell? 286 00:12:50,365 --> 00:12:53,605 {\an2}What's, like, did you hear the audience react when 287 00:12:53,645 --> 00:12:54,845 {\an2}you both said Sam Campbell? 288 00:12:54,885 --> 00:12:57,245 {\an2}I didn't want to pick anyone. I didn't want to pick anyone. 289 00:12:57,285 --> 00:13:00,245 {\an2}And then, Alex made me, and I can't, for legal reasons, talk about how. 290 00:13:00,285 --> 00:13:01,925 {\an1}LAUGHTER 291 00:13:01,965 --> 00:13:04,725 {\an2}But also, if they were very slow, then you might've given him points, 292 00:13:04,765 --> 00:13:07,085 {\an2}we don't know. Sam, it only feels right I should 293 00:13:07,125 --> 00:13:10,805 {\an2}get your comment on both women turning on you like snakes? 294 00:13:10,845 --> 00:13:13,885 {\an2}Yeah, it's just exciting to know people are talking about me. 295 00:13:13,925 --> 00:13:16,245 {\an2}LAUGHTER Yeah. 296 00:13:16,285 --> 00:13:18,445 {\an1}APPLAUSE 297 00:13:20,165 --> 00:13:21,805 {\an2}Time for a little break. 298 00:13:21,845 --> 00:13:24,845 {\an2}The average biscuit has about 240 calories in it. 299 00:13:24,885 --> 00:13:28,085 {\an2}It takes a one-mile walk to burn off 100 calories - 300 00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:30,885 {\an2}and yet, you're still going to smash at least five biscuits 301 00:13:30,925 --> 00:13:32,325 {\an2}into your face, aren't you?! 302 00:13:32,365 --> 00:13:34,885 {\an2}Time to look in a mirror! See you in a bit! 303 00:13:34,925 --> 00:13:37,125 {\an1}CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 304 00:13:43,205 --> 00:13:45,165 {\an2}CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Hello! 305 00:13:45,205 --> 00:13:47,325 {\an2}Welcome back to Taskmaster, 306 00:13:47,365 --> 00:13:50,485 {\an2}where the competitors are finding the secret task one-by-one. 307 00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:53,165 {\an2}Yes, but the order in which they find them is very important. 308 00:13:53,205 --> 00:13:55,525 {\an2}When they find it, they must say a rival's name 309 00:13:55,565 --> 00:13:57,045 {\an2}and thus seal their fate. 310 00:13:57,085 --> 00:14:00,565 {\an2}Here are the team of three searching and shouting. 311 00:14:00,605 --> 00:14:02,005 {\an2}Press your horn. 312 00:14:02,045 --> 00:14:03,045 {\an1}HORN TOOTS 313 00:14:06,605 --> 00:14:10,685 {\an2}Ah, I've found one. I've found it. 314 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:13,205 {\an2}It's not in here, I don't think. 315 00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:18,525 {\an2}BOTH: "This is not the secret task." 316 00:14:18,565 --> 00:14:21,245 {\an2}"The secret task is under the initials. 317 00:14:21,285 --> 00:14:24,045 {\an2}"A secret task has a secret door!" 318 00:14:24,085 --> 00:14:25,085 {\an2}Secret door. 319 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:26,765 {\an2}HORN BLARES Oh, fuck it! 320 00:14:26,805 --> 00:14:28,245 {\an2}Please change rooms. 321 00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:30,765 {\an2}SAM CACKLES Secret door. 322 00:14:30,805 --> 00:14:33,045 {\an2}Secret door. 323 00:14:33,085 --> 00:14:36,085 {\an2}I mean, there's doors, but they're not very secret. 324 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:39,045 {\an2}HORN BLARES Hello.Hello, Lucy. 325 00:14:39,085 --> 00:14:41,885 {\an2}What do you know so far? I know that there's a secret door. 326 00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:43,725 {\an2}Secret door. OK. 327 00:14:43,765 --> 00:14:46,685 {\an2}Do you think it's a real door, or like a secret door? 328 00:14:46,725 --> 00:14:48,725 {\an2}I think it's probably a secret door. 329 00:14:48,765 --> 00:14:50,165 {\an2}"This is not the secret task. 330 00:14:50,205 --> 00:14:52,485 {\an2}"The secret task is often behind you. 331 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:56,805 {\an2}"The secret task is beneath the Taskmaster." 332 00:14:56,845 --> 00:14:58,205 {\an8}BARELY AUDIBLE: Is it down here? 333 00:14:58,245 --> 00:14:59,445 {\an8}Pardon? Is it down here? 334 00:14:59,485 --> 00:15:00,725 {\an2}HE WHISPERS: I don't know. 335 00:15:00,765 --> 00:15:03,245 {\an2}It's not down here, then, the secret door? It might be. 336 00:15:03,285 --> 00:15:05,525 {\an2}Is that a yes? No. 337 00:15:05,565 --> 00:15:06,805 {\an1}HORN BLARES 338 00:15:06,845 --> 00:15:08,165 {\an2}Please change rooms. 339 00:15:08,205 --> 00:15:10,165 {\an2}Is there anything nice in there, do you think? 340 00:15:10,205 --> 00:15:12,605 {\an2}Erm, I couldn't possible say. Ah! 341 00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,565 {\an2}Ah, Julian welcome to the living room. 342 00:15:14,605 --> 00:15:16,165 {\an2}Do you know anything yet at all? 343 00:15:16,205 --> 00:15:18,485 {\an2}It's beneath the Taskmaster. 344 00:15:19,565 --> 00:15:21,165 {\an1}AUDIENCE OOHS 345 00:15:21,205 --> 00:15:23,005 {\an2}"This is the secret task. 346 00:15:23,045 --> 00:15:28,485 {\an2}"You must shout the name of your contestant in ten seconds from now." 347 00:15:28,525 --> 00:15:30,005 {\an2}Sam Campbell. 348 00:15:30,045 --> 00:15:31,045 {\an1}LAUGHTER 349 00:15:31,085 --> 00:15:33,005 {\an2}HORN BLARES Please change rooms, everyone. 350 00:15:33,045 --> 00:15:34,645 {\an2}What were you saying just then? 351 00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:37,405 {\an2}There's things of interest in there. OK. 352 00:15:37,445 --> 00:15:40,085 {\an2}Oh, hello, Sam. How are you? 353 00:15:40,125 --> 00:15:44,605 {\an2}It's very infuriating, this. I hate looking for things. 354 00:15:44,645 --> 00:15:46,445 {\an2}Psst. Hello. 355 00:15:46,485 --> 00:15:48,285 {\an2}Just passing by. 356 00:15:48,325 --> 00:15:51,965 {\an2}Yes. Under that? This lifts up? 357 00:15:52,005 --> 00:15:53,805 {\an2}That's awesome, wow. 358 00:15:53,845 --> 00:15:55,645 {\an2}Oh, this is the secret task! 359 00:15:55,685 --> 00:16:01,485 {\an2}"You must shout the name of your contestant in ten seconds from now." 360 00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:04,245 {\an1}PLAYS FLAT NOTE 361 00:16:07,645 --> 00:16:10,245 {\an2}Sue Perkins! HORN BLARES 362 00:16:10,285 --> 00:16:14,005 {\an2}We need to get Lucy in there now. Yeah, yeah. 363 00:16:14,045 --> 00:16:15,165 {\an1}SHE CHUCKLES 364 00:16:15,205 --> 00:16:17,045 {\an2}I'll be honest with you... Yes. 365 00:16:17,085 --> 00:16:19,565 {\an2}..I don't like looking for things. Right. 366 00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:22,725 {\an2}Erm, Sam? Yeah? Where is the task in here? 367 00:16:22,765 --> 00:16:25,045 {\an2}"TM" is my clue. 368 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,245 {\an2}Thank you. 369 00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:27,685 {\an1}SHE GASPS 370 00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:31,405 {\an2}Well, that is inspired, thank you. 371 00:16:31,445 --> 00:16:33,605 {\an2}Sue Perkins! 372 00:16:33,645 --> 00:16:37,245 {\an2}I can confirm everyone has now found the secret task. 373 00:16:37,285 --> 00:16:39,525 {\an2}HORN BLARES One of your better efforts. 374 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:40,885 {\an2}Ah, thank you, Julian. 375 00:16:40,925 --> 00:16:43,605 {\an1}LAUGHTER 376 00:16:43,645 --> 00:16:45,685 {\an1}APPLAUSE 377 00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:50,125 {\an2}It genuinely sounded there, with that last sentence, 378 00:16:50,165 --> 00:16:53,125 {\an2}that you were auditioning for a James Bond villain. 379 00:16:53,165 --> 00:16:57,485 {\an2}"One of your better efforts, Mr Horne." 380 00:16:59,605 --> 00:17:02,845 {\an2}So, Perkins and Campbell become the fall guys for this task. 381 00:17:02,885 --> 00:17:05,125 {\an2}Ohh. How did it feel, Sue? 382 00:17:05,165 --> 00:17:08,005 {\an2}It would've felt like bullying, had that gone on for Sam. 383 00:17:08,045 --> 00:17:10,485 {\an2}He still got three out of five. 384 00:17:10,525 --> 00:17:12,965 {\an2}I thought I was giving him five extra points. 385 00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:14,205 {\an2}Well, you might be. 386 00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:15,565 {\an2}Ah. You might. 387 00:17:15,605 --> 00:17:20,085 {\an2}Everyone's talking about this guy. It's official. He has arrived! 388 00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:22,045 {\an1}LAUGHTER 389 00:17:22,085 --> 00:17:24,045 {\an2}Pick the bones out of that point-wise, then. 390 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:26,325 {\an2}Well, I can tell you exactly how it works point-wise. 391 00:17:26,365 --> 00:17:28,685 {\an2}Julian, you were the fastest, six minutes, 30. 392 00:17:28,725 --> 00:17:30,965 {\an2}You shouted "Sam Campbell," he loses 5 points. 393 00:17:31,005 --> 00:17:32,525 {\an2}Oh, no. Aww! 394 00:17:32,565 --> 00:17:35,285 {\an2}But Susan, you were the slowest, you took 18 minutes, 395 00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:36,685 {\an2}you shouted "Sam Campbell," 396 00:17:36,725 --> 00:17:37,725 {\an2}so he gains 5 points! 397 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:38,765 {\an1}ALL CHEER 398 00:17:38,805 --> 00:17:40,205 {\an2}Back to zero. 399 00:17:40,245 --> 00:17:42,125 {\an1}LAUGHTER 400 00:17:42,165 --> 00:17:44,805 {\an2}Sam, you were the second-fastest, eight minutes, 50. 401 00:17:44,845 --> 00:17:47,325 {\an2}You shouted "Sue Perkins," she loses a point. 402 00:17:47,365 --> 00:17:48,365 {\an1}AUDIENCE AWWS 403 00:17:48,405 --> 00:17:51,485 {\an2}Sue, you were the second-slowest, 16 minutes, five, 404 00:17:51,525 --> 00:17:53,805 {\an2}you shouted "Sam Campbell," he gains a point. 405 00:17:53,845 --> 00:17:54,845 {\an1}ALL CHEER 406 00:17:54,885 --> 00:17:56,685 {\an2}Oh, my God this is a roller-coaster! 407 00:17:56,725 --> 00:17:59,165 {\an2}Lucy, you were in the middle, 13 minutes, 25, 408 00:17:59,205 --> 00:18:02,725 {\an2}you shouted "Sue Perkins," so Sue Perkins wins a special hat! 409 00:18:02,765 --> 00:18:08,325 {\an2}JULIAN:Oh, my God! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 410 00:18:09,405 --> 00:18:11,165 {\an1}LAUGHTER 411 00:18:11,205 --> 00:18:13,605 {\an1}CHEERING 412 00:18:15,085 --> 00:18:18,565 {\an2}It's like a really, really weird version of Handmaid's Tale. 413 00:18:18,605 --> 00:18:21,005 {\an1}LAUGHTER 414 00:18:21,045 --> 00:18:22,485 {\an2}Can you tell me the scores, please? 415 00:18:22,525 --> 00:18:24,845 {\an2}Yes, oh, it's such a tight score board, Greg. Ooh! 416 00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:26,685 {\an2}Sam and Lucy are at the bottom with 3, 417 00:18:26,725 --> 00:18:28,805 {\an2}all the rest are at the top with 4 points! 418 00:18:28,845 --> 00:18:31,165 {\an1}APPLAUSE 419 00:18:32,485 --> 00:18:34,885 {\an2}Shall we get on with the next bit of the show please, Alex? 420 00:18:34,925 --> 00:18:36,485 {\an2}Oh, let's do it, Daddy. 421 00:18:54,485 --> 00:18:55,965 {\an2}Hello, sausage. 422 00:18:56,005 --> 00:18:57,845 {\an2}Oh, hello, Sue. 423 00:18:57,885 --> 00:18:58,885 {\an2}Hiya. 424 00:19:00,645 --> 00:19:02,445 {\an2}Would you like me to bend over? 425 00:19:02,485 --> 00:19:03,805 {\an2}I really would. 426 00:19:08,845 --> 00:19:11,405 {\an2}"Complete the fortune trail." 427 00:19:14,725 --> 00:19:16,645 {\an2}What is a fortune trail? 428 00:19:16,685 --> 00:19:18,165 {\an2}This is a fortune trail. 429 00:19:18,205 --> 00:19:19,565 {\an2}"Fastest wins." 430 00:19:21,005 --> 00:19:22,565 {\an2}Goes from right to left. 431 00:19:22,605 --> 00:19:24,645 {\an2}There are five tasks on the fortune trail. 432 00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,605 {\an2}Oh, well, always start with the ladder. 433 00:19:26,645 --> 00:19:28,685 {\an2}Down the fortune ladder, through piggy... 434 00:19:28,725 --> 00:19:30,885 {\an2}Is that a bag of salt? Oh, yeah. Classic. 435 00:19:30,925 --> 00:19:32,485 {\an2}"Your time starts now." 436 00:19:33,885 --> 00:19:35,765 {\an1}APPLAUSE 437 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,365 {\an2}The fortune trail, the concept of the fortune trail 438 00:19:40,405 --> 00:19:41,845 {\an2}threw you a little bit, Sam. 439 00:19:41,885 --> 00:19:44,165 {\an2}I'd never heard of that in my life. No. And do you know why? 440 00:19:44,205 --> 00:19:45,725 {\an2}It's cos he made it up. 441 00:19:45,765 --> 00:19:47,125 {\an1}LAUGHTER 442 00:19:47,165 --> 00:19:49,285 {\an1}It's like Brian Blessed, is he real? 443 00:19:49,325 --> 00:19:52,125 {\an2}SUE: Oh, he's super real. Yeah, he's real, yeah. Oh, wow. 444 00:19:52,165 --> 00:19:54,485 {\an1}LAUGHTER 445 00:19:54,525 --> 00:19:55,685 {\an2}Let's crack on. 446 00:19:55,725 --> 00:20:00,365 {\an2}First to test their luck are Sam Cam and Sue Wo. 447 00:20:00,405 --> 00:20:02,445 {\an2}"Your time starts now!" 448 00:20:03,725 --> 00:20:05,365 {\an2}Are you a superstitious person? 449 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,845 {\an2}Yes. Oh, good. 450 00:20:06,885 --> 00:20:09,565 {\an2}All right. "Walk under the ladder..." 451 00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:11,525 {\an2}"..Or put the ladder back in the shed." 452 00:20:11,565 --> 00:20:12,885 {\an2}Under the ladder? 453 00:20:16,525 --> 00:20:18,605 {\an2}Cool. So, you're not that superstitious? 454 00:20:18,645 --> 00:20:21,325 {\an2}Yeah, but like, I'm also, like, I want to win. 455 00:20:21,365 --> 00:20:23,045 {\an2}"Find a lucky penny..." 456 00:20:23,085 --> 00:20:26,045 {\an2}"..Or put exactly £13 on the lucky plate." 457 00:20:28,525 --> 00:20:30,245 {\an2}Am I allowed to smash this? 458 00:20:32,205 --> 00:20:33,805 {\an2}Yeah, you can smash it. 459 00:20:33,845 --> 00:20:36,165 {\an1}LAUGHTER 460 00:20:36,205 --> 00:20:39,885 {\an2}How do you tell if they're lucky? Oh, you'll know if it's lucky. 461 00:20:39,925 --> 00:20:43,445 {\an2}How much have you got so far? £1.Ah. 462 00:20:43,485 --> 00:20:45,165 {\an2}£3. 463 00:20:45,205 --> 00:20:47,165 {\an2}Ten more. 464 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:48,965 {\an2}I'm done with that one. 465 00:20:49,005 --> 00:20:50,925 {\an2}Stage Two complete. 466 00:20:50,965 --> 00:20:53,325 {\an2}40, 50, 13 quid. 467 00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:55,005 {\an2}Stage Two complete. Cool. 468 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,845 {\an2}"Either spill the salt or throw..." 469 00:20:56,885 --> 00:20:58,685 {\an2}"..All the salt over your shoulder..." 470 00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:01,765 {\an2}"..Onto the pasta in the caravan." "..In the caravan." What? 471 00:21:04,485 --> 00:21:06,885 {\an2}Oh, dear, that's bad luck. Oh. 472 00:21:06,925 --> 00:21:09,165 {\an2}"And open the umbrella inside the shed..." 473 00:21:09,205 --> 00:21:10,885 {\an2}"..Or close these five umbrellas." 474 00:21:10,925 --> 00:21:13,045 {\an2}One. 475 00:21:13,085 --> 00:21:14,485 {\an2}Two. 476 00:21:17,965 --> 00:21:19,925 {\an2}Oh! SHE GIGGLES 477 00:21:20,965 --> 00:21:22,285 {\an2}Impressive. 478 00:21:25,925 --> 00:21:27,885 {\an2}I found a lucky penny, as well. 479 00:21:27,925 --> 00:21:30,005 {\an2}Oh, well done. 480 00:21:30,045 --> 00:21:31,205 {\an2}Mm! 481 00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,085 {\an2}Ah, and what's that? 482 00:21:36,765 --> 00:21:38,605 {\an2}"Toss five heads in a row." 483 00:21:42,445 --> 00:21:44,325 {\an2}Heads. 484 00:21:44,365 --> 00:21:46,485 {\an2}One head. Great. Get that? 485 00:21:46,525 --> 00:21:47,965 {\an2}Well, this'll be easy. 486 00:21:48,005 --> 00:21:49,005 {\an2}Tails. 487 00:21:50,205 --> 00:21:52,885 {\an2}Heads. OK. So, how many have I done? One. 488 00:21:52,925 --> 00:21:55,005 {\an2}No, I haven't. It's heads in a row. 489 00:21:55,045 --> 00:21:58,125 {\an2}In a row? In a row. You just did tails. 490 00:21:58,165 --> 00:22:01,285 {\an2}What? This'll take all my life! At this rate. 491 00:22:02,685 --> 00:22:05,645 {\an2}Four. Wow, OK so this will do it. 492 00:22:07,245 --> 00:22:09,205 {\an2}Ohh, no! 493 00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:10,445 {\an2}Tails. 494 00:22:10,485 --> 00:22:12,485 {\an2}Heads. Heads. Tails. Heads. 495 00:22:12,525 --> 00:22:15,045 {\an2}Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails. One head! 496 00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:16,885 {\an2}You got a head? No! OK. 497 00:22:16,925 --> 00:22:19,085 {\an2}Maybe it just needs less tosses. 498 00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:20,525 {\an2}Fewer. 499 00:22:20,565 --> 00:22:22,125 {\an2}Heads, that's two. 500 00:22:22,165 --> 00:22:23,525 {\an2}Three! Oh! 501 00:22:24,765 --> 00:22:27,485 {\an2}Four. We've been here before, though, haven't we? 502 00:22:30,245 --> 00:22:31,805 {\an2}It's heads! Stop the clock. 503 00:22:31,845 --> 00:22:33,885 {\an2}Not like winning...matters. 504 00:22:35,805 --> 00:22:37,685 {\an2}Yeah! How long, was it? 505 00:22:37,725 --> 00:22:39,485 {\an2}Thanks. Great. 506 00:22:41,445 --> 00:22:43,165 {\an2}Have you got anything of ours? 507 00:22:43,205 --> 00:22:44,805 {\an2}Er, no. 508 00:22:44,845 --> 00:22:46,325 {\an2}Oh, I do still have one coin. 509 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,165 {\an2}Back on the table. Sorry, sir. 510 00:22:56,005 --> 00:22:57,765 {\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 511 00:22:59,485 --> 00:23:01,885 {\an1}APPLAUSE 512 00:23:07,045 --> 00:23:08,485 {\an2}SUE: Ohh! 513 00:23:08,525 --> 00:23:10,485 {\an2}I know Alex of old now, and I... 514 00:23:10,525 --> 00:23:13,005 {\an2}As soon as I saw there was a special coin, I thought, 515 00:23:13,045 --> 00:23:14,645 {\an2}"I bet that's a doubled-headed coin." 516 00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:17,125 {\an2}It's the sort of thing this dweeb gets off on. 517 00:23:17,165 --> 00:23:18,685 {\an2}There were a few of them, as well. 518 00:23:18,725 --> 00:23:20,805 {\an2}There was one in the caravan, if you'd gone in there, 519 00:23:20,845 --> 00:23:23,085 {\an2}One in that little moneybox, one behind you on the door. 520 00:23:23,125 --> 00:23:24,565 {\an2}They were dotted about. Ahh. 521 00:23:24,605 --> 00:23:28,725 {\an2}But if either had worked that out, we would've been robbed of one of 522 00:23:28,765 --> 00:23:31,925 {\an2}the more dramatic statements that Sam's made during this show. 523 00:23:31,965 --> 00:23:33,725 {\an2}"This'll take all my life!" 524 00:23:33,765 --> 00:23:35,805 {\an1}LAUGHTER 525 00:23:37,045 --> 00:23:39,725 {\an2}Sam was very quick going down the fortune trail... Yeah. 526 00:23:39,765 --> 00:23:43,205 {\an2}..and he got five in a row in just six minutes, 51. 527 00:23:43,245 --> 00:23:45,565 {\an2}Wow, that's nowhere near all your life! 528 00:23:47,485 --> 00:23:49,645 {\an2}And Susan, nine minutes, 49. 529 00:23:49,685 --> 00:23:51,085 {\an2}Oh, well there we go. 530 00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:53,245 {\an2}Now we're throwing to the adverts, 531 00:23:53,285 --> 00:23:56,685 {\an2}just time to pop into your teenager's bedroom and confirm 532 00:23:56,725 --> 00:23:59,365 {\an2}that they're spending all their spare time scrolling through 533 00:23:59,405 --> 00:24:01,605 {\an2}their phones like a brain-dead text zombie. 534 00:24:01,645 --> 00:24:04,645 {\an2}Bad parenting alert! It's your fault! 535 00:24:04,685 --> 00:24:07,405 {\an2}See you in a bit. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 536 00:24:13,725 --> 00:24:16,085 {\an2}CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Welcome back! 537 00:24:16,125 --> 00:24:19,445 {\an2}This is Taskmaster, it's part three, and we're in the middle of a task 538 00:24:19,485 --> 00:24:20,925 {\an2}to test their superstition. 539 00:24:20,965 --> 00:24:24,645 {\an2}Who's next? It is Julian, Lucy, and Sue now. 540 00:24:24,685 --> 00:24:27,045 {\an2}Are you a superstitious person, Sue? 541 00:24:27,085 --> 00:24:28,565 {\an2}It's too late for that. 542 00:24:32,485 --> 00:24:33,805 {\an2}Lovely. 543 00:24:33,845 --> 00:24:36,085 {\an2}Walk under it? No. 544 00:24:36,125 --> 00:24:37,845 {\an2}I'm not going to walk under it, am I? 545 00:24:42,605 --> 00:24:44,125 {\an2}"Find a lucky penny." 546 00:24:44,165 --> 00:24:47,605 {\an2}How do I find a penny? Is it here somewhere? 547 00:24:47,645 --> 00:24:50,325 {\an2}Can I skip on and come back to it? Yeah, 'course. 548 00:24:50,365 --> 00:24:51,845 {\an2}Imma come back to that. 549 00:24:53,445 --> 00:24:56,245 {\an2}If I give them £7 and a penny, 550 00:24:56,285 --> 00:24:58,765 {\an2}then that sort of cancels each other out. 551 00:24:58,805 --> 00:25:02,765 {\an2}You know, cos if this penny isn't lucky, they've got £7. 552 00:25:02,805 --> 00:25:07,085 {\an2}"Either spill the salt or throw all the salt over your shoulder..." 553 00:25:07,125 --> 00:25:09,005 {\an2}"..Onto the pasta in the caravan." 554 00:25:14,085 --> 00:25:15,525 {\an2}Oh, I've spilt it! 555 00:25:19,725 --> 00:25:22,685 {\an2}Now, what's happened there? Have you done what it said on the task? 556 00:25:22,725 --> 00:25:24,845 {\an2}"Either open the umbrella inside the shed..." 557 00:25:24,885 --> 00:25:26,885 {\an2}Yeah, I opened the umbrella inside the shed. 558 00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:29,925 {\an2}I see, so you opened one of these umbrellas inside the shed. 559 00:25:29,965 --> 00:25:32,365 {\an2}Damn your syntactical vortex! 560 00:25:35,125 --> 00:25:36,965 {\an2}In the shed, umbrella in the shed. 561 00:25:38,725 --> 00:25:41,045 {\an2}I suppose the younger contestants 562 00:25:41,085 --> 00:25:43,365 {\an2}will be better at this sort of thing. 563 00:25:43,405 --> 00:25:44,725 {\an1}LAUGHTER 564 00:25:44,765 --> 00:25:47,845 {\an2}What you doing? Lucky penny! 565 00:25:47,885 --> 00:25:49,685 {\an2}There's a lucky penny! 566 00:25:49,725 --> 00:25:51,765 {\an2}So, that goes on there. OK. 567 00:25:51,805 --> 00:25:53,245 {\an2}Oh, there's a penny. 568 00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:54,925 {\an2}Is it lucky? 569 00:25:54,965 --> 00:25:58,245 {\an2}"Toss five heads on a coin in a row. 570 00:25:58,285 --> 00:26:01,805 {\an2}"Each toss of the coin must be a standard coin toss." 571 00:26:01,845 --> 00:26:04,845 {\an2}Just feels like we've been here before with the lucky penny. 572 00:26:06,525 --> 00:26:08,645 {\an2}Heads. 573 00:26:08,685 --> 00:26:12,645 {\an2}Hang on, there's gotta be something easier than doing this. 574 00:26:12,685 --> 00:26:15,925 {\an2}I'm going to toss my head five times in a row. 575 00:26:15,965 --> 00:26:17,285 {\an2}On the coin. 576 00:26:17,325 --> 00:26:20,365 {\an1}LAUGHTER 577 00:26:22,525 --> 00:26:25,605 {\an2}Maybe there's a coin with two heads. 578 00:26:25,645 --> 00:26:28,125 {\an1}AUDIENCE OOHS 579 00:26:28,165 --> 00:26:30,565 {\an2}No, these are all real coins. 580 00:26:30,605 --> 00:26:32,205 {\an2}You're only looking at one side. 581 00:26:32,245 --> 00:26:34,205 {\an1}LAUGHTER 582 00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:38,085 {\an1}AUDIENCE GASPS 583 00:26:41,285 --> 00:26:42,445 {\an2}Yes! 584 00:26:44,165 --> 00:26:45,605 {\an2}Three. Ooh. 585 00:26:45,645 --> 00:26:47,205 {\an2}I've found a lucky coin! Right. 586 00:26:47,245 --> 00:26:48,445 {\an2}It's got two heads on it. 587 00:26:48,485 --> 00:26:50,205 {\an2}OK, see if you can toss five in a row. 588 00:26:52,365 --> 00:26:55,045 {\an2}Sorry, I-I've seen it done on film. 589 00:26:55,085 --> 00:26:56,125 {\an2}Yes. 590 00:26:58,525 --> 00:27:00,725 {\an2}You've gotta start again, I'm afraid, Lucy. 591 00:27:00,765 --> 00:27:03,925 {\an2}Oh, fancy finding it, and then... I can just do it on there, yeah? 592 00:27:03,965 --> 00:27:05,845 {\an2}LAUGHING: Oh, sorry. 593 00:27:09,005 --> 00:27:12,645 {\an2}Is that tossed enough? Well, I-I've stopped the clock. 594 00:27:12,685 --> 00:27:14,885 {\an2}Heads, I've stopped the clock. 595 00:27:14,925 --> 00:27:16,845 {\an2}Four. Now, here we go. 596 00:27:18,725 --> 00:27:20,925 {\an2}Five. Was it a standard toss, that last one? 597 00:27:20,965 --> 00:27:22,885 {\an2}It was, and the penny in there. 598 00:27:22,925 --> 00:27:24,765 {\an2}Jolly good. Yeah. 599 00:27:24,805 --> 00:27:26,845 {\an2}You got a problem? Not wi...not... 600 00:27:26,885 --> 00:27:28,045 {\an2}No, sir. 601 00:27:28,085 --> 00:27:30,125 {\an1}LAUGHTER 602 00:27:30,165 --> 00:27:33,285 {\an1}APPLAUSE 603 00:27:36,045 --> 00:27:37,965 {\an2}Some firsts for Julian there, 604 00:27:38,005 --> 00:27:41,045 {\an2}that's the first time we've seen you directly threaten Alex. 605 00:27:42,405 --> 00:27:44,325 {\an2}Heterosexual male banter. 606 00:27:44,365 --> 00:27:46,005 {\an1}LAUGHTER 607 00:27:46,045 --> 00:27:49,485 {\an2}Erm, what I wrote about you, Sue, is you "lost your goddamn mind." 608 00:27:49,525 --> 00:27:50,805 {\an2}That happened. 609 00:27:50,845 --> 00:27:52,845 {\an2}Do I allow Sue's head tossing? 610 00:27:52,885 --> 00:27:56,805 {\an2}Hmm. It did say they were meant to be standard coin tosses. 611 00:27:56,845 --> 00:28:00,605 {\an2}Listen, I've travelled, I've been lucky enough to travel a lot. 612 00:28:00,645 --> 00:28:03,685 {\an2}Er, just because we toss a coin in the West like this, 613 00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:06,205 {\an2}let me tell you... Yeah, we all know that in Peru, 614 00:28:06,245 --> 00:28:08,205 {\an2}that's how they do it. LAUGHTER 615 00:28:09,565 --> 00:28:14,165 {\an2}Lucy, the thing that I'm most fascinated by is the fact that you 616 00:28:14,205 --> 00:28:17,125 {\an2}have a singular inability to toss a coin. 617 00:28:17,165 --> 00:28:20,605 {\an2}I've never done that with - someone's always done it, you know? 618 00:28:20,645 --> 00:28:23,045 {\an2}Usually, without being sexist, a man. 619 00:28:23,085 --> 00:28:25,965 {\an2}A man. Yeah. You've got a man who does that for you? 620 00:28:26,005 --> 00:28:28,125 {\an2}No, I mean, you know... 621 00:28:28,165 --> 00:28:29,965 {\an2}I-I've never packed a boot. 622 00:28:30,005 --> 00:28:33,125 {\an1}LAUGHTER 623 00:28:33,165 --> 00:28:35,525 {\an2}SUE: Why would you? 624 00:28:35,565 --> 00:28:38,485 {\an2}I'll say, she was so much slower than all of them, 625 00:28:38,525 --> 00:28:41,565 {\an2}despite finding the two-headed coin. Yeah. 626 00:28:41,605 --> 00:28:45,485 {\an2}Ahh. Erm, Julian, you flicked it incredibly quickly. 627 00:28:45,525 --> 00:28:46,645 {\an2}It was on your third go. 628 00:28:46,685 --> 00:28:48,965 {\an2}You only have a 3% chance of doing it five times in a row. 629 00:28:49,005 --> 00:28:51,085 {\an2}So, Julian did the whole thing in four minutes, 12. 630 00:28:51,125 --> 00:28:53,965 {\an2}Lucy, 11 minutes, three. Yes. 631 00:28:54,005 --> 00:28:56,445 {\an2}And in the middle, we had Sam, six minutes, 51, 632 00:28:56,485 --> 00:28:58,725 {\an2}Sue, six minutes, 56, Susan, nine minutes, 49. 633 00:28:58,765 --> 00:29:02,525 {\an2}But Lucy did only put £7 and a penny on the £13 tray. 634 00:29:02,565 --> 00:29:05,125 {\an2}So, I'm afraid you didn't do all of the tasks. Didn't do it. 635 00:29:05,165 --> 00:29:07,765 {\an2}And, just while I'm being a party-pooper, Sue, 636 00:29:07,805 --> 00:29:10,565 {\an2}I'm afraid it's not considered a standard coin toss 637 00:29:10,605 --> 00:29:12,165 {\an2}anywhere in the world. 638 00:29:12,205 --> 00:29:14,565 {\an2}It's good I've got a jacket for this eventuality. 639 00:29:14,605 --> 00:29:15,925 {\an1}LAUGHTER 640 00:29:18,605 --> 00:29:20,485 {\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 641 00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:22,765 {\an1}APPLAUSE 642 00:29:29,485 --> 00:29:31,085 {\an2}When did you do that? 643 00:29:31,125 --> 00:29:33,645 {\an2}Erm, I said I wanted to go for a wee, and then, I did it, 644 00:29:33,685 --> 00:29:36,925 {\an2}and then, some of the guys backstage helped me do it. Ah. 645 00:29:36,965 --> 00:29:39,485 {\an2}So, there we are. There we are, it means that Susan, 646 00:29:39,525 --> 00:29:41,245 {\an2}you get 3 points. Sam, 4. 647 00:29:41,285 --> 00:29:43,645 {\an2}But Julian, you thought this was a young person's task, 648 00:29:43,685 --> 00:29:46,645 {\an2}wins all 5 points! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 649 00:29:48,125 --> 00:29:49,805 {\an1}I think I'd like another, please. 650 00:29:49,845 --> 00:29:52,325 {\an2}OK, then, Greg, and night-night! 651 00:29:52,365 --> 00:29:53,365 {\an2}Ooh! 652 00:30:09,525 --> 00:30:11,405 {\an2}Ah, Susan. Hi. 653 00:30:14,085 --> 00:30:15,725 {\an1}LAUGHTER 654 00:30:15,765 --> 00:30:18,845 {\an2}Julian. Hello. 655 00:30:18,885 --> 00:30:20,565 {\an2}Good evening. 656 00:30:22,525 --> 00:30:24,765 {\an2}Night-night. Ah. 657 00:30:24,805 --> 00:30:26,405 {\an2}It's nice, in't it? 658 00:30:26,445 --> 00:30:28,925 {\an2}Ah, love a starry night. 659 00:30:28,965 --> 00:30:32,765 {\an2}Might just adjust this to stay in the same frame. 660 00:30:32,805 --> 00:30:34,205 {\an2}Perfect. 661 00:30:34,245 --> 00:30:36,245 {\an2}What the h... Really? Yeah. 662 00:30:36,285 --> 00:30:38,365 {\an2}"Convince a child you're asleep. 663 00:30:38,405 --> 00:30:41,405 {\an2}"You must either have a nap lasting one minute 664 00:30:41,445 --> 00:30:44,165 {\an2}"with your face visible throughout. 665 00:30:44,205 --> 00:30:48,325 {\an8}"During this nap, you must snore and sleep walk. 666 00:30:50,965 --> 00:30:54,645 {\an2}"Or you must have a nap lasting one minute 667 00:30:54,685 --> 00:30:56,765 {\an2}"where you are not in bed at all, 668 00:30:56,805 --> 00:30:59,125 {\an2}"but the child thinks you are. 669 00:30:59,165 --> 00:31:02,325 {\an8}"During this nap, you must snore and sleep talk. 670 00:31:02,365 --> 00:31:05,605 {\an2}"Most convincing sleeper wins. 671 00:31:05,645 --> 00:31:09,445 {\an2}"You have a maximum of 20 minutes. Your time starts now." 672 00:31:09,485 --> 00:31:11,805 {\an2}Wh-Who is this child? 673 00:31:11,845 --> 00:31:13,605 {\an2}Which method are you going to take? 674 00:31:13,645 --> 00:31:15,085 {\an8}I'll go in the bed, I think. 675 00:31:16,605 --> 00:31:20,125 {\an8}I'm going to do number one, it'll be me with my face visible. 676 00:31:20,165 --> 00:31:23,365 {\an2}Quite a good actress, so I'll just do it myself. 677 00:31:25,365 --> 00:31:26,765 {\an2}I'm not going to be in the bed. 678 00:31:26,805 --> 00:31:28,965 {\an8}I'm going to be talking to this child and... 679 00:31:29,005 --> 00:31:30,445 {\an8}..sleep talking, snoring. 680 00:31:30,485 --> 00:31:32,045 {\an8}You think that's the best way? 681 00:31:32,085 --> 00:31:33,605 {\an8}For me, yeah. 682 00:31:33,645 --> 00:31:35,325 {\an2}I'm going to do the sleep talking. 683 00:31:35,365 --> 00:31:38,725 {\an8}I want to have some movement, cos when you're a sleep talker, 684 00:31:38,765 --> 00:31:41,645 {\an8}the body moves, so it'll need to sort of move around a bit. 685 00:31:41,685 --> 00:31:43,645 {\an2}I was made for this. 686 00:31:43,685 --> 00:31:45,045 {\an2}I don't know if you know, 687 00:31:45,085 --> 00:31:47,605 {\an2}but I trained at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, mate. 688 00:31:47,645 --> 00:31:50,085 {\an2}You think you're going to win this one? I think so. 689 00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:51,805 {\an1}MUSIC BOX PLAYS 690 00:31:51,845 --> 00:31:53,125 {\an1}JULIAN GROANS 691 00:31:57,165 --> 00:31:59,045 {\an1}APPLAUSE 692 00:32:02,885 --> 00:32:05,285 {\an2}I thought that Sue and Susan looked quite sweet 693 00:32:05,325 --> 00:32:06,645 {\an2}in their bedtime outfits, 694 00:32:06,685 --> 00:32:09,565 {\an2}and everyone else looked like they were members of a cult. 695 00:32:11,405 --> 00:32:15,805 {\an2}So, everyone, in a way, is planning to use their acting skills - 696 00:32:15,845 --> 00:32:18,165 {\an2}with the exception of Julian, 697 00:32:18,205 --> 00:32:20,885 {\an2}who I think is just planning to go to sleep. 698 00:32:20,925 --> 00:32:23,085 {\an1}LAUGHTER 699 00:32:23,125 --> 00:32:24,245 {\an2}We'll see. 700 00:32:24,285 --> 00:32:26,245 {\an2}OK, we're going to see the child now, 701 00:32:26,285 --> 00:32:30,245 {\an2}watching Lucy and Susan, and Julian pretending to be asleep. OK. 702 00:32:30,285 --> 00:32:31,925 {\an2}Hello, Flossy. Hi. 703 00:32:31,965 --> 00:32:34,765 {\an2}OK, this first person, it's a man called Julian. 704 00:32:42,245 --> 00:32:43,925 {\an1}SNORING 705 00:32:47,365 --> 00:32:50,525 {\an1}SNORING CONTINUES 706 00:33:08,205 --> 00:33:10,765 {\an1}LAUGHTER 707 00:33:16,365 --> 00:33:20,525 {\an2}That was Julian. Do you think he was asleep? 708 00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:22,645 {\an2}No.Uh-huh. LAUGHTER 709 00:33:22,685 --> 00:33:24,085 {\an2}OK, this is Susan. 710 00:33:34,325 --> 00:33:37,045 {\an1}SHE SNORES 711 00:33:38,605 --> 00:33:40,125 {\an1}SHE GRUNTS 712 00:33:43,525 --> 00:33:46,845 {\an1}LOUD SNORING 713 00:33:53,485 --> 00:33:54,925 {\an2}I think she's asleep, 714 00:33:54,965 --> 00:33:57,845 {\an2}cos her sound's a little bit more realistic. 715 00:33:57,885 --> 00:33:59,045 {\an2}OK, and this is Lucy. 716 00:33:59,085 --> 00:34:03,285 {\an1}LOUD SNORING 717 00:34:10,165 --> 00:34:11,645 {\an2}Morning. 718 00:34:11,685 --> 00:34:13,205 {\an1}LAUGHTER 719 00:34:13,245 --> 00:34:15,565 {\an2}It's time to get up now. 720 00:34:15,605 --> 00:34:16,925 {\an2}Come on, then. 721 00:34:16,965 --> 00:34:19,725 {\an1}LAUGHTER 722 00:34:22,565 --> 00:34:25,005 {\an2}Ohh...where are my socks? 723 00:34:26,325 --> 00:34:28,645 {\an2}Where are my socks? 724 00:34:28,685 --> 00:34:32,085 {\an2}I'm... Oh. Not that way. 725 00:34:32,125 --> 00:34:34,125 {\an2}Oh... 726 00:34:34,165 --> 00:34:36,525 {\an2}..just five more minutes. 727 00:34:41,005 --> 00:34:42,965 {\an1}LOUD SNORE 728 00:34:43,005 --> 00:34:44,765 {\an2}Awake or asleep? 729 00:34:44,805 --> 00:34:47,165 {\an2}Awake. You could actually see her eyes opening. 730 00:34:47,205 --> 00:34:49,365 {\an2}She was like looking for her socks like that. 731 00:34:49,405 --> 00:34:51,885 {\an2}I don't know how she would be able to get in, back into bed 732 00:34:51,925 --> 00:34:53,645 {\an2}when she was looking for her socks. 733 00:34:55,325 --> 00:34:57,045 {\an1}APPLAUSE 734 00:35:01,325 --> 00:35:04,285 {\an2}RADA strikes again. Yeah. 735 00:35:04,325 --> 00:35:06,165 {\an2}It's - I know it's annoying, 736 00:35:06,205 --> 00:35:10,605 {\an2}but it's all I've got, so... let me have it. Yeah. 737 00:35:10,645 --> 00:35:13,285 {\an2}Er, Lucy, what I wrote down was 738 00:35:13,325 --> 00:35:16,045 {\an2}"some of the worst acting I've ever seen." 739 00:35:16,085 --> 00:35:19,085 {\an2}I know, I don't get many acting roles, have you noticed? 740 00:35:19,125 --> 00:35:20,485 {\an1}LAUGHTER 741 00:35:20,525 --> 00:35:24,765 {\an2}I asked Alex during it if he could show us Flossy's reaction 742 00:35:24,805 --> 00:35:26,845 {\an2}to your acting one more time. 743 00:35:26,885 --> 00:35:28,165 {\an2}She reacted like this. 744 00:35:28,205 --> 00:35:29,925 {\an2}Come on, then. 745 00:35:29,965 --> 00:35:32,165 {\an1}LAUGHTER 746 00:35:36,325 --> 00:35:37,805 {\an2}Part three is over. 747 00:35:37,845 --> 00:35:41,325 {\an2}Come back to see our task titans grapple it out in the final part. 748 00:35:41,365 --> 00:35:43,845 {\an2}All desperate to take home a lump of cobalt, 749 00:35:43,885 --> 00:35:46,285 {\an2}a cat balls calendar, and scream, 750 00:35:46,325 --> 00:35:50,325 {\an2}"Look, Mum, I've made it!" CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 751 00:35:56,365 --> 00:35:58,085 {\an2}CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Hello! 752 00:35:58,125 --> 00:36:00,205 {\an2}Welcome back to the final part of the show, 753 00:36:00,245 --> 00:36:04,005 {\an2}where our cast are fast asleep - or are they? 754 00:36:04,045 --> 00:36:06,565 {\an2}No, they're all awake, Greg, come on, mate. 755 00:36:06,605 --> 00:36:08,645 {\an2}Pay attention, but they are attempting to trick 756 00:36:08,685 --> 00:36:12,605 {\an2}our special guest sleep inspector, Flossy, into believing they are. 757 00:36:12,645 --> 00:36:15,405 {\an2}Now it's time for Sam and Sue. 758 00:36:15,445 --> 00:36:20,525 {\an2}So, I've got my snoring string and my sleep-talking stick. 759 00:36:20,565 --> 00:36:22,245 {\an2}Of course. Yeah? Mm-hm. 760 00:36:24,605 --> 00:36:26,565 {\an1}SNORES LOUDLY 761 00:36:32,365 --> 00:36:34,925 {\an1}SNORING CONTINUES 762 00:36:34,965 --> 00:36:37,205 {\an2}Here's Sue. 763 00:36:37,245 --> 00:36:40,005 {\an1}LOUD SNORING 764 00:36:40,045 --> 00:36:41,725 {\an1}INDISTINCT MUTTERING 765 00:36:41,765 --> 00:36:43,485 {\an2}..Lateral thinking... 766 00:36:43,525 --> 00:36:45,805 {\an1}SNORING CONTINUES 767 00:36:45,845 --> 00:36:48,565 {\an2}..Your time starts now... 768 00:36:48,605 --> 00:36:50,765 {\an1}Flossy, what do you think of Sue? 769 00:36:50,805 --> 00:36:52,285 {\an2}I think she's awake. 770 00:36:52,325 --> 00:36:55,005 {\an2}I don't think her snoring kept on stopping and going, 771 00:36:55,045 --> 00:36:57,605 {\an2}and stopping and going, and it kept on going, like, on. 772 00:36:57,645 --> 00:36:59,845 {\an2}Really? Interesting. 773 00:36:59,885 --> 00:37:02,165 {\an2}Right, well, there's only one more to see. 774 00:37:02,205 --> 00:37:05,365 {\an2}I'm now going to show you somebody called Sam. 775 00:37:05,405 --> 00:37:07,485 {\an1}LOUD SNORING 776 00:37:12,685 --> 00:37:14,765 {\an1}LAUGHTER 777 00:37:14,805 --> 00:37:16,685 {\an1}SNORING CONTINUES 778 00:37:18,325 --> 00:37:20,525 {\an1}LAUGHTER 779 00:37:23,725 --> 00:37:27,965 {\an1}SNORING CONTINUES 780 00:37:30,885 --> 00:37:32,005 {\an2}Thank you. 781 00:37:33,165 --> 00:37:35,325 {\an2}I think he's asleep. 782 00:37:35,365 --> 00:37:38,005 {\an2}We're saying Sam is asleep? Mm. 783 00:37:38,045 --> 00:37:42,605 {\an2}Right. So, we're down to Susan, or Sam, the flamingo. 784 00:37:42,645 --> 00:37:45,085 {\an2}I think she was awake. Really? 785 00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:48,045 {\an2}So, you're saying that flamingo is asleep? 786 00:37:48,085 --> 00:37:49,085 {\an2}Yeah. 787 00:37:49,125 --> 00:37:51,925 {\an1}LAUGHTER 788 00:37:56,965 --> 00:37:59,285 {\an2}It looks like RADA has been defeated. 789 00:37:59,325 --> 00:38:00,765 {\an1}LAUGHTER 790 00:38:00,805 --> 00:38:03,565 {\an2}By a toy flamingo. 791 00:38:03,605 --> 00:38:05,205 {\an2}We haven't said anything about Sue. 792 00:38:05,245 --> 00:38:07,325 {\an2}No, Flossy sort of saw through your technique, 793 00:38:07,365 --> 00:38:08,605 {\an2}because it was a bit jerky. 794 00:38:08,645 --> 00:38:11,525 {\an2}I just really liked the idea of stuffing a massive stick up 795 00:38:11,565 --> 00:38:14,645 {\an2}a mannequin's arse and rotating it like a rotisserie chicken. 796 00:38:14,685 --> 00:38:17,245 {\an2}Sue went to a lot of effort to construct that, 797 00:38:17,285 --> 00:38:19,605 {\an2}and Flossy just went, "Nah, she's not asleep." 798 00:38:19,645 --> 00:38:20,845 {\an1}LAUGHTER 799 00:38:20,885 --> 00:38:24,285 {\an2}Although, Greg, I think it is worth reassessing the techniques used 800 00:38:24,325 --> 00:38:25,445 {\an2}by one of the sleepers. 801 00:38:25,485 --> 00:38:27,685 {\an2}Oh, OK. Have a watch of this. 802 00:38:27,725 --> 00:38:29,085 {\an1}LOUD SNORING 803 00:38:35,965 --> 00:38:38,085 {\an2}SAM'S VOICE: Hello, child. 804 00:38:38,125 --> 00:38:41,125 {\an2}Listen here, all you have to do is say that this is 805 00:38:41,165 --> 00:38:43,165 {\an2}the most convincing sleeper. 806 00:38:43,205 --> 00:38:44,325 {\an2}Seriously. 807 00:38:44,365 --> 00:38:47,045 {\an2}Say the yellow one. The yellow bed. 808 00:38:47,085 --> 00:38:50,285 {\an2}I'm going to get the production company to contact your parents. 809 00:38:50,325 --> 00:38:52,485 {\an2}I will give you £100. LAUGHTER 810 00:38:52,525 --> 00:38:54,365 {\an2}I'm going to figure out how to get it you, 811 00:38:54,405 --> 00:38:57,005 {\an2}£100 if you say that I'm the most convincing sleeper. 812 00:38:57,045 --> 00:38:58,565 {\an2}Thank you, child. 813 00:39:00,445 --> 00:39:01,685 {\an1}LAUGHTER 814 00:39:01,725 --> 00:39:04,885 {\an2}So, the question is, who was the most convincing sleeper? 815 00:39:07,645 --> 00:39:09,765 {\an1}SHE GIGGLES 816 00:39:09,805 --> 00:39:12,285 {\an2}Will Sam actually give me £100? 817 00:39:12,325 --> 00:39:13,845 {\an1}LAUGHTER 818 00:39:18,085 --> 00:39:20,685 {\an2}I do want £100. 819 00:39:21,885 --> 00:39:23,605 {\an1}SHE GIGGLES 820 00:39:23,645 --> 00:39:26,965 {\an2}Final answer, who do you think was asleep? 821 00:39:27,005 --> 00:39:31,485 {\an2}I don't think Sam was awake. 822 00:39:32,885 --> 00:39:34,645 {\an2}Or Susan. 823 00:39:34,685 --> 00:39:36,805 {\an2}If you can't decide between Sam and Susan, 824 00:39:36,845 --> 00:39:38,325 {\an2}then that's absolutely fine. 825 00:39:38,365 --> 00:39:40,445 {\an2}If you think they're both asleep. 826 00:39:40,485 --> 00:39:43,325 {\an2}Do you think he would actually give me £100? 827 00:39:46,565 --> 00:39:49,765 {\an2}Susan and Sam. 828 00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:53,845 {\an2}Flossy, thank you very much for looking at these five people. 829 00:39:53,885 --> 00:39:55,685 {\an1}APPLAUSE 830 00:40:00,365 --> 00:40:02,765 {\an2}Hey, listen all, all's fair in love and war. 831 00:40:02,805 --> 00:40:05,165 {\an2}You know, and those were the two that she chose. 832 00:40:05,205 --> 00:40:07,925 {\an2}I think the least-convincing sleeper, 833 00:40:07,965 --> 00:40:10,005 {\an2}I feel like I've picked on you a bit, Lucy, 834 00:40:10,045 --> 00:40:11,565 {\an2}but you just were. 835 00:40:11,605 --> 00:40:12,805 {\an1}LAUGHTER 836 00:40:12,845 --> 00:40:15,045 {\an2}Yeah, I was. 1 point to Lucy. Got it. 837 00:40:15,085 --> 00:40:20,685 {\an2}I think Julian was more convincing than the rotisserie madness, 838 00:40:20,725 --> 00:40:22,845 {\an2}so I'm going to give Sue 2 points... 839 00:40:22,885 --> 00:40:24,725 {\an2}OK. ..and Julian 3 points. 840 00:40:24,765 --> 00:40:28,885 {\an2}And then, the people that fooled Flossy, by hook or crook, 841 00:40:28,925 --> 00:40:32,045 {\an2}both gain 5 points are Sam and Susan! 842 00:40:32,085 --> 00:40:34,845 {\an1}APPLAUSE 843 00:40:34,885 --> 00:40:38,125 {\an2}It's a three-way tie at the top between Julian, Sam, and Susan, 844 00:40:38,165 --> 00:40:40,245 {\an2}all on 12 points! Whoa! 845 00:40:40,285 --> 00:40:42,325 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 846 00:40:42,365 --> 00:40:44,965 {\an2}OK, it's time to make your way to the stage for 847 00:40:45,005 --> 00:40:46,885 {\an2}the final task of the show! 848 00:40:50,565 --> 00:40:54,325 {\an1}APPLAUSE 849 00:40:54,365 --> 00:40:55,965 {\an2}Who's going to read the task out? 850 00:40:56,005 --> 00:40:57,605 {\an2}Julian Clary, please. 851 00:40:59,685 --> 00:41:01,765 {\an2}"Mime the proverb on your card. 852 00:41:01,805 --> 00:41:04,445 {\an2}"There will be three minute-long rounds. 853 00:41:04,485 --> 00:41:07,805 {\an2}"You must be waving at each other throughout your attempt. 854 00:41:07,845 --> 00:41:12,245 {\an2}"But you can make a single noise of the Taskmaster's choosing." 855 00:41:12,285 --> 00:41:14,565 {\an2}So, this is a team task. 856 00:41:14,605 --> 00:41:16,605 {\an2}The waving bit's going to be really annoying. 857 00:41:16,645 --> 00:41:19,125 {\an2}While miming, you have to wave to each other. 858 00:41:19,165 --> 00:41:21,005 {\an2}Any questions? Yes, Sam. 859 00:41:21,045 --> 00:41:22,925 {\an2}Oh, I'm just practising. Yeah, OK. 860 00:41:22,965 --> 00:41:24,925 {\an1}LAUGHTER 861 00:41:24,965 --> 00:41:26,965 {\an1}APPLAUSE 862 00:41:27,005 --> 00:41:29,725 {\an2}So, first of all, Sam, you're going to miming the proverbs 863 00:41:29,765 --> 00:41:32,765 {\an2}to these two people here on your team, Lucy and Julian. 864 00:41:32,805 --> 00:41:34,445 {\an2}But you cannot pass. 865 00:41:34,485 --> 00:41:36,605 {\an2}And in Round One, what noise can they make? 866 00:41:36,645 --> 00:41:38,765 {\an2}I'd like Sam to make the noise... 867 00:41:38,805 --> 00:41:41,125 {\an2}..of a steam train. 868 00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:43,765 {\an2}So, start waving and start miming on the whistle. 869 00:41:43,805 --> 00:41:44,805 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 870 00:41:46,845 --> 00:41:49,805 {\an2}Waving, Sam, waving Sam, waving. 871 00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:54,165 {\an2}Don't count your chickens before they hatch? 872 00:41:54,205 --> 00:41:55,565 {\an2}Correct! 873 00:41:55,605 --> 00:41:57,965 {\an1}APPLAUSE 874 00:41:58,005 --> 00:41:59,765 {\an2}And serving... 875 00:41:59,805 --> 00:42:01,205 {\an2}A watched pot? 876 00:42:01,245 --> 00:42:03,885 {\an2}You're welcome to use the steam train. ..Kettle.... 877 00:42:03,925 --> 00:42:06,005 {\an1}HE MIMICS TRAIN 878 00:42:07,605 --> 00:42:09,365 {\an2}Er, too many cooks? 879 00:42:09,405 --> 00:42:11,005 {\an2}Spoil the broth. Correct! 880 00:42:11,045 --> 00:42:13,045 {\an2}Correct! WHISTLE BLOWS 881 00:42:13,085 --> 00:42:17,685 {\an2}You must stop there, you scored 2 points, 2 points. 882 00:42:17,725 --> 00:42:20,805 {\an2}So, Susan to mime to Sue. What noise can Susan make? 883 00:42:20,845 --> 00:42:22,405 {\an2}A clip-clopping horse. 884 00:42:23,685 --> 00:42:25,925 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 885 00:42:25,965 --> 00:42:28,525 {\an2}Drawing, painting, victory. 886 00:42:28,565 --> 00:42:30,605 {\an2}Go to right, throws a ball. 887 00:42:30,645 --> 00:42:32,565 {\an2}Erm, er, I'm strong. The strongest. 888 00:42:32,605 --> 00:42:34,845 {\an2}Fastest, jousting, fighting. 889 00:42:34,885 --> 00:42:36,925 {\an2}The sword is mightier than the pen. Yeah! 890 00:42:36,965 --> 00:42:39,885 {\an2}No, no. The pen is mightier than the sword! Correct, yes! 891 00:42:39,925 --> 00:42:41,685 {\an1}MAKES CLIP-CLOPPING SOUNDS 892 00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:43,485 {\an2}Erm, one more town. 893 00:42:43,525 --> 00:42:46,405 {\an2}Erm, don't, er, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. 894 00:42:46,445 --> 00:42:47,685 {\an2}Yeah! Correct! 895 00:42:50,165 --> 00:42:52,245 {\an2}Er, you've... 896 00:42:52,285 --> 00:42:53,765 {\an2}Every poo has a silver lining. 897 00:42:53,805 --> 00:42:54,925 {\an1}LAUGHTER 898 00:42:54,965 --> 00:42:57,525 {\an2}Goose's eggs, eggs, look at the, the basket. 899 00:42:57,565 --> 00:42:59,845 {\an2}Basket, don't count your eggs in your basket! 900 00:42:59,885 --> 00:43:01,725 {\an2}Don't put all your eggs in one basket! 901 00:43:01,765 --> 00:43:03,285 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 902 00:43:06,485 --> 00:43:09,045 {\an2}Wow, I can't believe the mighty horse was useful. 903 00:43:09,085 --> 00:43:10,325 {\an1}LAUGHTER 904 00:43:10,365 --> 00:43:11,805 {\an2}The team of two win Round One. 905 00:43:11,845 --> 00:43:13,445 {\an2}There is two rounds to go though. 906 00:43:13,485 --> 00:43:15,725 {\an2}Sue, you are going to Susan this time. OK, er... 907 00:43:15,765 --> 00:43:17,605 {\an2}What noise would you like Sue to make? 908 00:43:17,645 --> 00:43:19,325 {\an2}I was thinking a sort of auctioneer. 909 00:43:19,365 --> 00:43:22,325 {\an2}Sort of... IMITATES AUCTIONEER 910 00:43:22,365 --> 00:43:23,965 {\an1}LAUGHTER 911 00:43:25,525 --> 00:43:27,805 {\an2}Team of two get ready to wave and mime, go. 912 00:43:27,845 --> 00:43:29,365 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 913 00:43:29,405 --> 00:43:31,325 {\an2}A pony, stroke the horse. 914 00:43:33,165 --> 00:43:35,565 {\an2}Scratch the horse. Don't scr... 915 00:43:35,605 --> 00:43:36,845 {\an2}Oh, my God. 916 00:43:36,885 --> 00:43:38,645 {\an1}LAUGHTER 917 00:43:38,685 --> 00:43:40,565 {\an1}IMITATES AUCTIONEER 918 00:43:46,525 --> 00:43:48,765 {\an2}Ooh! Hmm... 919 00:43:51,885 --> 00:43:53,445 {\an2}Oh, what? 920 00:43:53,485 --> 00:43:55,165 {\an2}MEOW! 921 00:43:57,605 --> 00:43:59,405 {\an2}Meow! 922 00:43:59,445 --> 00:44:01,725 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS And that's the end of the round. 923 00:44:03,245 --> 00:44:05,165 {\an2}Yeah, it was curiosity killed the cat. 924 00:44:05,205 --> 00:44:06,765 {\an1}GREG LAUGHS 925 00:44:08,245 --> 00:44:11,565 {\an2}What sound is Lucy allowed to make? I would like Lucy to make the sound 926 00:44:11,605 --> 00:44:13,805 {\an2}of someone falling off a mountain. 927 00:44:13,845 --> 00:44:15,405 {\an2}Ahh. 928 00:44:15,445 --> 00:44:17,645 {\an2}They need one to win this round. 929 00:44:17,685 --> 00:44:19,285 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 930 00:44:19,325 --> 00:44:20,565 {\an2}Money. 931 00:44:21,925 --> 00:44:23,325 {\an2}Money... 932 00:44:23,365 --> 00:44:25,965 {\an2}Wave, wave, waving, Lucy. ..doesn't... 933 00:44:26,005 --> 00:44:28,125 {\an2}Waving, Lucy. ..grow on trees. 934 00:44:28,165 --> 00:44:30,245 {\an2}Correct! That's the end of Round Two. 935 00:44:30,285 --> 00:44:32,565 {\an2}Money doesn't grow on trees. 936 00:44:32,605 --> 00:44:34,165 {\an2}It's 1-1. One round to go. 937 00:44:34,205 --> 00:44:37,005 {\an2}What noise is available to Julian? 938 00:44:37,045 --> 00:44:39,005 {\an2}The mighty bong of Big Ben. 939 00:44:39,045 --> 00:44:40,365 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 940 00:44:40,405 --> 00:44:41,885 {\an2}Bong! 941 00:44:43,405 --> 00:44:44,645 {\an2}Waving, Julian. 942 00:44:44,685 --> 00:44:46,325 {\an2}We're talking five words. 943 00:44:46,365 --> 00:44:48,285 {\an2}Five words. First word... 944 00:44:48,325 --> 00:44:49,965 {\an2}Waving, Julian. Slip. 945 00:44:50,005 --> 00:44:51,605 {\an2}Fourth word... 946 00:44:51,645 --> 00:44:53,165 {\an2}Drink. Drink. 947 00:44:53,205 --> 00:44:55,245 {\an2}Erm, water, it's great. 948 00:44:55,285 --> 00:44:56,845 {\an2}Oh, it's something with water? 949 00:44:56,885 --> 00:44:58,845 {\an2}Erm, blood is thicker than water! 950 00:44:58,885 --> 00:45:01,365 {\an2}Correct!Wow! APPLAUSE 951 00:45:01,405 --> 00:45:03,605 {\an2}Eight seconds, Julian, eight seconds. 952 00:45:03,645 --> 00:45:04,885 {\an2}Look... 953 00:45:07,325 --> 00:45:09,245 {\an2}Look before you jump. Look before you leap! 954 00:45:09,285 --> 00:45:10,765 {\an2}It was on the buzzer, and he did it! 955 00:45:10,805 --> 00:45:12,685 {\an2}Yeah, I think you got it on the buzzer, yeah. 956 00:45:12,725 --> 00:45:14,645 {\an2}It's been given. Two to beat. 957 00:45:14,685 --> 00:45:17,605 {\an2}You've gotta get three, Susan, you've gotta get three to win. 958 00:45:17,645 --> 00:45:19,685 {\an2}What sound can Susan make, if she chooses? 959 00:45:19,725 --> 00:45:22,885 {\an2}Oh, yeah, the sound. If you want to, a haunting whistle. 960 00:45:22,925 --> 00:45:24,605 {\an2}Hello. Er, laughing. 961 00:45:24,645 --> 00:45:26,845 {\an2}Laughter's the best medicine. Correct. 962 00:45:26,885 --> 00:45:28,925 {\an2}Ohh! APPLAUSE 963 00:45:30,325 --> 00:45:32,645 {\an2}No, crying. Er, don't cry over spilt milk. 964 00:45:32,685 --> 00:45:33,925 {\an2}Correct! 965 00:45:33,965 --> 00:45:36,125 {\an1}APPLAUSE 966 00:45:36,165 --> 00:45:39,445 {\an2}Er, sunshine, pick the fruit, er, er... 967 00:45:39,485 --> 00:45:40,645 {\an2}..dropping fruit. 968 00:45:40,685 --> 00:45:43,445 {\an2}Erm, orchard, trees. I've got the fruit, apples. 969 00:45:43,485 --> 00:45:46,325 {\an2}Apple tree. I've fallen over the apple tree. 970 00:45:46,365 --> 00:45:48,165 {\an2}Apple falls. 971 00:45:48,205 --> 00:45:50,245 {\an2}The apple doesn't fall far from the tree! 972 00:45:50,285 --> 00:45:52,325 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS CHEERING 973 00:45:55,725 --> 00:45:58,725 {\an2}Uh, we'll add that to the final scores. Come down and join me! 974 00:45:58,765 --> 00:46:00,725 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 975 00:46:07,045 --> 00:46:10,045 {\an2}Who'd have thought that would end in such a high-octane way? 976 00:46:10,085 --> 00:46:11,925 {\an2}It was an adrenaline rush. 977 00:46:11,965 --> 00:46:14,765 {\an2}The team of three obviously came second. 978 00:46:14,805 --> 00:46:16,365 {\an2}The team of two, first. 979 00:46:16,405 --> 00:46:19,165 {\an2}The team of three got five right, they got six right altogether. 980 00:46:19,205 --> 00:46:21,845 {\an2}5 points. Team of two, of course... Team of two. Yeah. 981 00:46:21,885 --> 00:46:24,325 {\an2}What should I give the others? 982 00:46:24,365 --> 00:46:25,525 {\an2}3 feels fair. 983 00:46:25,565 --> 00:46:27,405 {\an2}OK, so it's 3 points to the team of three, 984 00:46:27,445 --> 00:46:28,925 {\an2}5 points to the team of two! 985 00:46:28,965 --> 00:46:31,525 {\an1}APPLAUSE 986 00:46:31,565 --> 00:46:36,245 {\an2}It means, at the end of the episode, Lucy, you come last with 7 points. 987 00:46:36,285 --> 00:46:39,565 {\an2}Sue, 11. Sam, 15. Julian, also 15. Susan, also - 988 00:46:39,605 --> 00:46:42,045 {\an2}no, she's won the episode with 17 points! 989 00:46:42,085 --> 00:46:44,885 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 990 00:46:44,925 --> 00:46:47,845 {\an2}Whoa! Susan Wokoma wins! 991 00:46:47,885 --> 00:46:52,005 {\an2}Please go and pick up your drum roll-worthy prizes! 992 00:46:52,045 --> 00:46:54,765 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 993 00:46:56,045 --> 00:47:00,005 {\an2}Tonight, everyone's talking about the winner - it's Susan Wokoma! 994 00:47:23,485 --> 00:47:27,005 {\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media