1
00:00:02,685 --> 00:00:04,925
{\an2}SHE SQUAWKS
Ahh!
2
00:00:04,965 --> 00:00:06,485
{\an2}BELL RINGS
Good evening.
3
00:00:08,245 --> 00:00:10,645
{\an2}Argh!
SLURPS LOUDLY
4
00:00:10,685 --> 00:00:12,245
{\an2}Argh! Ah!
5
00:00:12,285 --> 00:00:13,685
{\an1}HE VOCALISES
6
00:00:13,725 --> 00:00:15,125
{\an2}I trained at RADA.
7
00:00:15,165 --> 00:00:17,125
{\an2}What have I created?!
8
00:00:17,165 --> 00:00:19,245
{\an2}So sorry.
9
00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:20,845
{\an2}How we laughed.
10
00:00:20,885 --> 00:00:21,885
{\an2}Ahh!
11
00:00:23,645 --> 00:00:29,205
{\an2}This programme contains
strong language
and adult humour from the start
12
00:00:33,285 --> 00:00:35,085
{\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello!
13
00:00:35,125 --> 00:00:37,645
{\an2}Thank you!
Welcome to Taskmaster.
14
00:00:37,685 --> 00:00:40,565
{\an2}I'm the lord of the jungle,
and I'm about to eat.
15
00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:42,005
{\an2}What will I enjoy today?
16
00:00:42,045 --> 00:00:45,765
{\an2}A Clary casserole, some Campbell
and Beaumont sausages?
17
00:00:45,805 --> 00:00:47,205
{\an2}Maybe a Wokoma ribeye,
18
00:00:47,245 --> 00:00:49,885
{\an2}or an omelette made of
Sue Perkins' hands?
19
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{\an2}Get the buffet ready,
m-papa's sta-arving!
20
00:00:53,165 --> 00:00:54,525
{\an1}LAUGHTER
21
00:00:54,565 --> 00:00:57,445
{\an2}Please welcome to the show
Julian Clary...
22
00:00:57,485 --> 00:00:58,605
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23
00:00:58,645 --> 00:01:00,805
{\an2}..Lucy Beaumont...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
24
00:01:00,845 --> 00:01:02,725
{\an2}..Sam Campbell...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
25
00:01:02,765 --> 00:01:04,645
{\an2}..Sue Perkins...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26
00:01:04,685 --> 00:01:07,325
{\an2}..and Susan Wokoma!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27
00:01:08,685 --> 00:01:12,045
{\an2}And next to me, a man who
once hospitalised himself
28
00:01:12,085 --> 00:01:15,645
{\an2}doing high kicks to Toxic
by Britney Spears.
29
00:01:15,685 --> 00:01:18,485
{\an2}HIGH-PITCHED:
It's a-little Alex Hooorne!
30
00:01:18,525 --> 00:01:23,325
{\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello!
31
00:01:23,365 --> 00:01:26,565
{\an2}Well, look, I've come up with
a brand-new format slash game.
32
00:01:26,605 --> 00:01:28,205
{\an2}It's called Greg and Alex.
33
00:01:28,245 --> 00:01:30,965
{\an2}Here we go. I've got these.
34
00:01:31,005 --> 00:01:33,725
{\an2}So, there'll be some questions.
You hold up whether it's me or you,
35
00:01:33,765 --> 00:01:35,245
{\an2}what you think the answer's to,
36
00:01:35,285 --> 00:01:38,565
{\an2}we'll see how similar we
think about things.
37
00:01:38,605 --> 00:01:41,565
{\an2}Question one,
who is the best at cooking?
38
00:01:42,765 --> 00:01:45,165
{\an2}Oh, we both think it's you!
Oh-ho.
39
00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:46,725
{\an1}LAUGHTER
40
00:01:46,765 --> 00:01:48,885
{\an2}Who is the best at tidying up?
41
00:01:51,525 --> 00:01:54,325
{\an2}Who has the most trouble
sleeping at night because of all
42
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,925
{\an2}the difficult thoughts racing
through their head?
43
00:01:56,965 --> 00:01:59,285
{\an1}LAUGHTER
44
00:02:01,005 --> 00:02:03,085
{\an2}Who bought the other one a present?
45
00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:05,685
{\an2}I've got you a present,
cos of your...
46
00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:08,405
{\an2}..cos of your troubled brain.
So I got you a little, er...
47
00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:10,645
{\an2}Thank you. ..a little necklace
with two feathers on.
48
00:02:10,685 --> 00:02:12,405
{\an2}Thanks.
AUDIENCE AWWS
49
00:02:12,445 --> 00:02:13,645
{\an2}Prize task time!
50
00:02:13,685 --> 00:02:16,645
{\an2}What's the category this week,
you weirdo?
51
00:02:16,685 --> 00:02:19,125
{\an2}It's...
DRUM ROLL
52
00:02:19,165 --> 00:02:22,285
{\an2}..the best single-word object you
own and love that gets the best
53
00:02:22,325 --> 00:02:24,765
{\an2}reaction when introduced
following a drum roll.
54
00:02:24,805 --> 00:02:26,365
{\an2}Hmm! Wow. Yes.
55
00:02:26,405 --> 00:02:29,485
{\an2}5 points for the best single-word
object they own and love,
56
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,925
{\an2}and at the end of the show,
the person with the highest score
57
00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:33,325
{\an2}will take home all five...
58
00:02:33,365 --> 00:02:35,285
{\an1}DRUM ROLL
59
00:02:35,325 --> 00:02:36,805
{\an2}..prizes. Lots more...
60
00:02:36,845 --> 00:02:38,405
{\an1}LAUGHTER
61
00:02:40,805 --> 00:02:42,965
{\an2}..of that coming up
right now, Greg.
62
00:02:43,005 --> 00:02:44,445
{\an2}Hello, Lucy. Oh.
63
00:02:44,485 --> 00:02:46,005
{\an1}DRUM ROLL
64
00:02:46,045 --> 00:02:47,965
{\an2}What is it?
65
00:02:48,005 --> 00:02:49,805
{\an2}A-Alien device.
66
00:02:49,845 --> 00:02:52,485
{\an1}LAUGHTER
67
00:02:54,365 --> 00:02:56,885
{\an2}You heard "one-word object."
It is...
68
00:02:58,925 --> 00:03:02,445
{\an2}..alien device.
..device.
69
00:03:02,485 --> 00:03:03,685
{\an2}Here it is.
70
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:06,565
{\an1}LAUGHTER
71
00:03:06,605 --> 00:03:11,325
{\an2}So, that was in my mum's
ear canal...
72
00:03:13,005 --> 00:03:18,085
{\an1}..for about two years and 36 months.
73
00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:19,485
{\an2}Two years...
74
00:03:19,525 --> 00:03:21,925
{\an1}LAUGHTER
75
00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:24,045
{\an2}That's enough. That's five years.
76
00:03:25,525 --> 00:03:28,645
{\an2}It's however you want to say it. OK.
77
00:03:28,685 --> 00:03:31,725
{\an2}Er, don't want to brag,
but I took her to one of
78
00:03:31,765 --> 00:03:34,645
{\an2}the best ear doctors in the UK.
79
00:03:34,685 --> 00:03:38,805
{\an2}He said, "Whatever is in your mum's
ear is not impacted wax,"
80
00:03:38,845 --> 00:03:43,685
{\an2}and then, basically,
there'd been UFO sightings over,
81
00:03:43,725 --> 00:03:46,645
{\an2}over where my mum lived, just like,
82
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,445
{\an2}like, literally like
above the house.
83
00:03:49,485 --> 00:03:52,765
{\an2}And then, all I'm saying is that...
84
00:03:52,805 --> 00:03:54,885
{\an1}LAUGHTER
85
00:03:54,925 --> 00:03:56,925
{\an2}..that fell out of her ear,
86
00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:59,605
{\an2}and then, the cat licked and it,
the cat disappeared.
87
00:03:59,645 --> 00:04:01,885
{\an1}LAUGHTER
88
00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:06,645
{\an2}Thank you, Lucy.
89
00:04:07,845 --> 00:04:10,885
{\an2}LAUGHTER CONTINUES
Julian.
90
00:04:10,925 --> 00:04:13,725
{\an1}DRUM ROLL
91
00:04:13,765 --> 00:04:15,245
{\an2}A jacket.
92
00:04:15,285 --> 00:04:17,605
{\an1}LAUGHTER
93
00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:22,005
{\an1}APPLAUSE
94
00:04:24,045 --> 00:04:27,245
{\an2}Now we're getting somewhere. Yeah.
95
00:04:27,285 --> 00:04:30,285
{\an2}If I'm going out on an evening
with someone I don't much like,
96
00:04:30,325 --> 00:04:32,045
{\an2}you can flash that as you leave.
97
00:04:32,085 --> 00:04:34,005
{\an1}LAUGHTER
98
00:04:34,045 --> 00:04:35,925
{\an2}Thank you. Sue.
99
00:04:35,965 --> 00:04:39,245
{\an1}DRUM ROLL
100
00:04:39,285 --> 00:04:41,085
{\an8}Greg(gs)!
101
00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:44,925
{\an8}Ooh!
AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS
102
00:04:44,965 --> 00:04:46,525
{\an2}Wow! Wow.
103
00:04:46,565 --> 00:04:48,885
{\an2}Is that me made out of pastry?
104
00:04:48,925 --> 00:04:52,325
{\an2}Yes.Oh, my God.
LAUGHTER
105
00:04:52,365 --> 00:04:54,005
{\an2}Sensational.
106
00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:57,165
{\an8}Your ears have crumbled a little
bit over time. They have.
107
00:04:57,205 --> 00:04:59,125
{\an8}The eyes are glue. Erm...
108
00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:00,765
{\an7}LAUGHTER
109
00:05:00,805 --> 00:05:04,165
{\an2}..and took a long time, and some
of it's under my fingernails.
110
00:05:04,205 --> 00:05:05,605
{\an2}Wow. Yeah.
111
00:05:05,645 --> 00:05:07,725
{\an2}Sue, you've surpassed yourself.
112
00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:10,125
{\an2}Hi, Susan. Oh, gosh. Hi.
113
00:05:10,165 --> 00:05:11,405
{\an2}What have you brought in?
114
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:14,845
{\an1}DRUM ROLL
115
00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:17,325
{\an2}Calendar!
116
00:05:17,365 --> 00:05:19,805
{\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS
117
00:05:19,845 --> 00:05:22,325
{\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
118
00:05:23,765 --> 00:05:27,165
{\an2}Er, I finished doing a film
towards the end of last year.
119
00:05:27,205 --> 00:05:29,405
{\an2}And you normally have
like a big party.
120
00:05:29,445 --> 00:05:31,325
{\an2}And some people give you gifts.
121
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,805
{\an2}And I was presented with this.
122
00:05:33,845 --> 00:05:37,205
{\an2}To this day, I don't know
what vibe I give off.
123
00:05:37,245 --> 00:05:40,205
{\an1}LAUGHTER
124
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:47,205
{\an2}But I just love that somebody
looked at me at work and went,
125
00:05:47,245 --> 00:05:50,645
{\an2}"D'you know what she wants?
A calendar of cat balls."
126
00:05:50,685 --> 00:05:53,965
{\an2}I mean, the one in the middle,
come on.
127
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,925
{\an2}LAUGHTER CONTINUES
It needs putting down.
128
00:05:59,165 --> 00:06:02,085
{\an2}Sam, the heat is on.
What have you brought in?
129
00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:04,045
{\an1}DRUM ROLL
130
00:06:05,325 --> 00:06:06,485
{\an2}Cobalt!
131
00:06:06,525 --> 00:06:09,205
{\an1}LAUGHTER
132
00:06:11,325 --> 00:06:12,685
{\an2}Go on.
133
00:06:12,725 --> 00:06:14,645
{\an2}Well, I used to live near Tempi,
in Australia.
134
00:06:14,685 --> 00:06:17,245
{\an2}You're so close to the flight path,
so planes would go over,
135
00:06:17,285 --> 00:06:18,485
{\an2}and the locals hated it.
136
00:06:18,525 --> 00:06:20,885
{\an2}They commissioned an artwork,
and it was like a sculpture,
137
00:06:20,925 --> 00:06:22,405
{\an2}and it was all kids with their ears,
138
00:06:22,445 --> 00:06:24,765
{\an2}like, hands over their ears,
like, "Ahh!"
139
00:06:24,805 --> 00:06:27,565
{\an2}And then, they changed how high
the planes were flying.
140
00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:30,885
{\an1}LAUGHTER
141
00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:32,565
{\an2}Where'd you get the cobalt?
142
00:06:32,605 --> 00:06:34,005
{\an2}Online.
143
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,845
{\an1}LAUGHTER CONTINUES
144
00:06:40,725 --> 00:06:42,765
{\an2}And you think it's good
after a drum roll,
145
00:06:42,805 --> 00:06:45,565
{\an2}because there's background
story of - it affected a...?
146
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:48,845
{\an2}Oh, that story, yeah, I just -
everyone was telling a story, so...
147
00:06:50,965 --> 00:06:52,165
{\an2}OK. Yeah.
148
00:06:52,205 --> 00:06:53,645
{\an2}I don't want to give anyone 1 point
149
00:06:53,685 --> 00:06:55,805
{\an2}because I really enjoyed
those stories. Mm-hm.
150
00:06:55,845 --> 00:06:58,085
{\an2}I'm going to give Sam 2 points,
151
00:06:58,125 --> 00:07:00,845
{\an2}and he'd better thank me for it.
152
00:07:00,885 --> 00:07:05,725
{\an2}I'm going to give "alien device" 3,
because it's insane.
153
00:07:05,765 --> 00:07:09,005
{\an2}I'm going to give Julian
and Susan 4 points.
154
00:07:09,045 --> 00:07:13,925
{\an2}Think it's really egotistical of me
to put Greg(gs) as number one?
155
00:07:13,965 --> 00:07:15,645
{\an2}Well, that's the way it's fallen.
156
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,165
{\an1}LAUGHTER
157
00:07:17,205 --> 00:07:19,165
{\an2}5 points. Well done, Sue Perkins.
158
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:21,645
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
159
00:07:23,925 --> 00:07:27,645
{\an2}On we go! Are we ever going to find
out about that secret task, Alex?
160
00:07:27,685 --> 00:07:29,965
{\an2}Maybe, Greg, maybe right now!
161
00:07:30,005 --> 00:07:31,325
{\an1}AUDIENCE OOHS
162
00:07:43,485 --> 00:07:45,205
{\an2}Sam, Julian.
163
00:07:45,245 --> 00:07:46,685
{\an2}Hi. Lucy.
164
00:07:46,725 --> 00:07:49,165
{\an2}Are you happy with me reading it,
do you want to read it with me?
165
00:07:49,205 --> 00:07:51,445
{\an2}No, you read it. You sure?
Yeah. All right, OK.
166
00:07:51,485 --> 00:07:53,765
{\an2}Right.
167
00:07:53,805 --> 00:07:56,005
{\an2}This is not a team task. What?
168
00:07:56,045 --> 00:07:58,125
{\an2}What?! We've bonded.
169
00:07:58,165 --> 00:07:59,805
{\an2}We've shared a bag of Nik Naks.
170
00:07:59,845 --> 00:08:01,925
{\an2}I'll come over and...
I'm so sorry.
171
00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:05,645
{\an2}"This is not a team task.
Find the secret task.
172
00:08:06,725 --> 00:08:09,605
{\an2}"You must never be in
the same room as each other.
173
00:08:09,645 --> 00:08:12,125
{\an2}"Whenever the air horn sounds,
174
00:08:12,165 --> 00:08:16,365
{\an2}"you must replace anything you are
holding and change rooms.
175
00:08:16,405 --> 00:08:20,365
{\an2}"Everyone must find the secret task
before the task ends."
176
00:08:20,405 --> 00:08:22,925
{\an2}In a way, it is a team task,
cos we've got to succeed
177
00:08:22,965 --> 00:08:24,525
{\an2}for the thing to succeed.
178
00:08:24,565 --> 00:08:26,525
{\an2}Can I ask one question from you?
179
00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:28,965
{\an2}Has the task been ever-present
through the whole time
180
00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:30,565
{\an2}we've been here? A secret task?
181
00:08:30,605 --> 00:08:32,605
{\an2}Yeah. No, it's been on my mind.
182
00:08:34,085 --> 00:08:35,485
{\an2}He's not going to tell you.
183
00:08:35,525 --> 00:08:37,605
{\an2}If we cross on the corridor,
is that bad?
184
00:08:37,645 --> 00:08:39,165
{\an2}You do what you want.
185
00:08:39,205 --> 00:08:41,485
{\an2}So, I can say "hi" occasionally?
Yeah, OK.
186
00:08:41,525 --> 00:08:43,805
{\an2}Please read the last line, Julian.
187
00:08:43,845 --> 00:08:45,965
{\an2}"Your time starts now."
188
00:08:46,005 --> 00:08:47,005
{\an1}HORN BLOWS
189
00:08:47,045 --> 00:08:49,445
{\an2}OK. Where do you want to go?
OK, I don't know.
190
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,125
{\an1}APPLAUSE
191
00:08:58,725 --> 00:09:00,565
{\an1}I don't want to hang about long,
192
00:09:00,605 --> 00:09:04,365
{\an1}I would just like to say I find it
sickening how well you two get on.
193
00:09:04,405 --> 00:09:06,965
{\an2}Every time they get together
and do a team task,
194
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:09,565
{\an1}it's like watching the Famous Five.
LAUGHTER
195
00:09:09,605 --> 00:09:12,885
{\an2}Thank God for Julian,
when Sam was asking questions
196
00:09:12,925 --> 00:09:14,885
{\an2}about the secret task, went...
197
00:09:14,925 --> 00:09:17,405
{\an2}EXHASPERATEDLY:
.."He's not going to tell you."
198
00:09:17,445 --> 00:09:19,965
{\an1}LAUGHTER
199
00:09:20,005 --> 00:09:21,285
{\an2}Let's crack on.
200
00:09:21,325 --> 00:09:25,605
{\an2}OK, here are secret sourcing
Sues, first of all.
201
00:09:25,645 --> 00:09:27,605
{\an2}Bye! I'll let you know when
I find it! OK.
202
00:09:29,045 --> 00:09:31,165
{\an2}Shut, shut, shut.
203
00:09:31,205 --> 00:09:33,885
{\an2}Ah. No.
204
00:09:33,925 --> 00:09:35,405
{\an2}In the oven. All empty.
205
00:09:37,685 --> 00:09:39,045
{\an2}OK.
206
00:09:39,085 --> 00:09:40,725
{\an2}"This is not the secret task.
207
00:09:40,765 --> 00:09:43,485
{\an2}"The secret task is under
the initials."
208
00:09:43,525 --> 00:09:45,525
{\an2}What's that? No.
209
00:09:46,725 --> 00:09:49,125
{\an2}HORN BLARES
Please change areas.
210
00:09:49,165 --> 00:09:50,165
{\an2}Hi, love!
211
00:09:50,205 --> 00:09:52,725
{\an2}There's something underneath
the big pineapple.
212
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:57,045
{\an2}A secret task is under the initials.
213
00:09:57,085 --> 00:09:59,205
{\an2}Where's the initials?
Now, where are the initials?
214
00:09:59,245 --> 00:10:00,925
{\an2}HORN BLARES
Please change areas.
215
00:10:00,965 --> 00:10:03,885
{\an2}Don't go in the shed,
there's nothing there for you!
216
00:10:03,925 --> 00:10:06,285
{\an2}OK, I'm going to up here
to some initials!
217
00:10:06,325 --> 00:10:08,325
{\an2}"Under the initials."
218
00:10:08,365 --> 00:10:10,885
{\an2}Right, there's nothing in here.
219
00:10:10,925 --> 00:10:12,925
{\an2}SHE GASPS
Oh, my God!
220
00:10:12,965 --> 00:10:14,565
{\an2}Hmm, drawn a blank there.
221
00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:15,925
{\an2}"This is not the secret task.
222
00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:18,365
{\an2}"The secret task is buried
under buildings."
223
00:10:18,405 --> 00:10:19,405
{\an1}HORN BLARES
224
00:10:19,445 --> 00:10:22,085
{\an2}Secret task is buried
under buildings!
225
00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:24,645
{\an2}All right, buried under buildings.
226
00:10:24,685 --> 00:10:27,525
{\an2}Is there any, like, a thingy
that looks like a building?
227
00:10:28,925 --> 00:10:30,525
{\an2}Right.
228
00:10:30,565 --> 00:10:33,405
{\an2}Ooh-hoo-hoo! You sneaky beast.
229
00:10:33,445 --> 00:10:35,325
{\an2}"Buried under building."
230
00:10:35,365 --> 00:10:37,805
{\an2}SHE EXHALES
Breathe.
231
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,805
{\an2}"A secret task is beneath
the Taskmaster."
232
00:10:40,845 --> 00:10:41,845
{\an2}He's in the garden.
233
00:10:41,885 --> 00:10:43,845
{\an2}I can't see pictures of
any buildings.
234
00:10:43,885 --> 00:10:45,325
{\an2}Have you found the secret task yet?
235
00:10:45,365 --> 00:10:46,885
{\an1}It's buried under some buildings...
236
00:10:46,925 --> 00:10:48,485
{\an2}HORN BLARES
Ahh! Fucking hell!
237
00:10:48,525 --> 00:10:50,445
{\an2}You must change,
you must change room.
238
00:10:50,485 --> 00:10:52,485
{\an2}I'm going to the Taskmaster! OK!
239
00:10:52,525 --> 00:10:55,165
{\an2}"Under a building,"
the building, there's like...
240
00:10:55,205 --> 00:10:56,205
{\an2}Oh!
241
00:10:56,245 --> 00:10:57,285
{\an2}What does it say, Sue?
242
00:10:57,325 --> 00:11:00,445
{\an2}Have you found the secret task?
"This is not a secret task." Ah.
243
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:01,925
{\an2}"The secret task is inside."
244
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:05,245
{\an2}"The secret task is often
behind you."
245
00:11:05,285 --> 00:11:07,125
{\an2}HORN BLARES
Please change areas.
246
00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:09,045
{\an2}Buried under buildings,
under the initial...
247
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,085
{\an1}HORN BLARES
248
00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:11,965
{\an2}Buried under buildings under...
HORN BLARES
249
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,925
{\an2}Underneath the Taskmaster...
HORN BLARES
250
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,765
{\an2}Buried under the...
..Under the building.
251
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,965
{\an2}HORN BLARES
Hang on a minute.
252
00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:20,605
{\an2}The secret task is beneath...
253
00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:21,645
{\an2}Oh!
254
00:11:24,045 --> 00:11:25,525
{\an2}There's a T here.
255
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,525
{\an1}AUDIENCE OOHS
256
00:11:33,285 --> 00:11:34,805
{\an2}This is the secret task.
257
00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:38,125
{\an2}"If you found this task fastest,
you must choose one contestant
258
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:41,005
{\an8}"who will lose 5 points."
AUDIENCE GASPS
259
00:11:41,045 --> 00:11:42,525
{\an2}"If you found it second fastest,
260
00:11:42,565 --> 00:11:44,885
{\an8}"you must choose one contestant
who'll lose one point.
261
00:11:44,925 --> 00:11:47,285
{\an8}"If you found this third,
one gets a special hat.
262
00:11:47,325 --> 00:11:49,645
{\an8}"Fourth-fastest" -
oh, I like the special hat.
263
00:11:49,685 --> 00:11:51,885
{\an2}"You must choose a contestant
who will gain a point.
264
00:11:51,925 --> 00:11:53,845
{\an8}"If you found it slowest
choose one contestant
265
00:11:53,885 --> 00:11:56,365
{\an8}"who will gain 5 points.
You must not choose yourself."
266
00:11:56,405 --> 00:11:58,125
{\an2}Only because I've never
met him before,
267
00:11:58,165 --> 00:11:59,645
{\an2}and he's young and beautiful,
268
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:01,605
{\an2}and he'll get over this,
Sam Campbell!
269
00:12:01,645 --> 00:12:03,125
{\an2}HORN BLARES
You must change areas.
270
00:12:03,165 --> 00:12:04,845
{\an2}Can I come in there? OK, yes, so...
271
00:12:04,885 --> 00:12:07,925
{\an2}I think it's in there, and I think
it's underneath, erm, Greg.
272
00:12:10,125 --> 00:12:13,725
{\an2}Right, it's often behind you,
which is there.
273
00:12:13,765 --> 00:12:16,765
{\an2}It's underneath the Taskmaster,
which is him.
274
00:12:16,805 --> 00:12:19,965
{\an2}It's beneath the bloody initials.
275
00:12:20,005 --> 00:12:22,045
{\an1}SHE SQUEALS
276
00:12:22,085 --> 00:12:24,365
{\an2}I found it, Sue! I think.
277
00:12:24,405 --> 00:12:26,485
{\an2}YEAH, I FOUND IT!
SHE GIGGLES
278
00:12:26,525 --> 00:12:28,845
{\an2}Do I just choose a name?
279
00:12:28,885 --> 00:12:30,725
{\an2}Erm, Sam Campbell!
280
00:12:30,765 --> 00:12:31,765
{\an1}HORN BLARES
281
00:12:34,485 --> 00:12:36,765
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
282
00:12:38,005 --> 00:12:40,765
{\an2}Do you see what I mean about
the Famous Five thing?
283
00:12:40,805 --> 00:12:44,285
{\an2}"Don't go to the shed,
there's nothing there for you!"
284
00:12:44,325 --> 00:12:46,125
{\an2}Let's have some ginger beer!
285
00:12:47,325 --> 00:12:50,325
{\an2}What the hell have you
both got in for Sam Campbell?
286
00:12:50,365 --> 00:12:53,605
{\an2}What's, like, did you hear
the audience react when
287
00:12:53,645 --> 00:12:54,845
{\an2}you both said Sam Campbell?
288
00:12:54,885 --> 00:12:57,245
{\an2}I didn't want to pick anyone.
I didn't want to pick anyone.
289
00:12:57,285 --> 00:13:00,245
{\an2}And then, Alex made me, and I can't,
for legal reasons, talk about how.
290
00:13:00,285 --> 00:13:01,925
{\an1}LAUGHTER
291
00:13:01,965 --> 00:13:04,725
{\an2}But also, if they were very slow,
then you might've given him points,
292
00:13:04,765 --> 00:13:07,085
{\an2}we don't know.
Sam, it only feels right I should
293
00:13:07,125 --> 00:13:10,805
{\an2}get your comment on both women
turning on you like snakes?
294
00:13:10,845 --> 00:13:13,885
{\an2}Yeah, it's just exciting to know
people are talking about me.
295
00:13:13,925 --> 00:13:16,245
{\an2}LAUGHTER
Yeah.
296
00:13:16,285 --> 00:13:18,445
{\an1}APPLAUSE
297
00:13:20,165 --> 00:13:21,805
{\an2}Time for a little break.
298
00:13:21,845 --> 00:13:24,845
{\an2}The average biscuit has about
240 calories in it.
299
00:13:24,885 --> 00:13:28,085
{\an2}It takes a one-mile walk
to burn off 100 calories -
300
00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:30,885
{\an2}and yet, you're still going
to smash at least five biscuits
301
00:13:30,925 --> 00:13:32,325
{\an2}into your face, aren't you?!
302
00:13:32,365 --> 00:13:34,885
{\an2}Time to look in a mirror!
See you in a bit!
303
00:13:34,925 --> 00:13:37,125
{\an1}CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
304
00:13:43,205 --> 00:13:45,165
{\an2}CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Hello!
305
00:13:45,205 --> 00:13:47,325
{\an2}Welcome back to Taskmaster,
306
00:13:47,365 --> 00:13:50,485
{\an2}where the competitors are finding
the secret task one-by-one.
307
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:53,165
{\an2}Yes, but the order in which
they find them is very important.
308
00:13:53,205 --> 00:13:55,525
{\an2}When they find it,
they must say a rival's name
309
00:13:55,565 --> 00:13:57,045
{\an2}and thus seal their fate.
310
00:13:57,085 --> 00:14:00,565
{\an2}Here are the team of three
searching and shouting.
311
00:14:00,605 --> 00:14:02,005
{\an2}Press your horn.
312
00:14:02,045 --> 00:14:03,045
{\an1}HORN TOOTS
313
00:14:06,605 --> 00:14:10,685
{\an2}Ah, I've found one. I've found it.
314
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:13,205
{\an2}It's not in here, I don't think.
315
00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:18,525
{\an2}BOTH: "This is not the secret task."
316
00:14:18,565 --> 00:14:21,245
{\an2}"The secret task is under
the initials.
317
00:14:21,285 --> 00:14:24,045
{\an2}"A secret task has a secret door!"
318
00:14:24,085 --> 00:14:25,085
{\an2}Secret door.
319
00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:26,765
{\an2}HORN BLARES
Oh, fuck it!
320
00:14:26,805 --> 00:14:28,245
{\an2}Please change rooms.
321
00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:30,765
{\an2}SAM CACKLES
Secret door.
322
00:14:30,805 --> 00:14:33,045
{\an2}Secret door.
323
00:14:33,085 --> 00:14:36,085
{\an2}I mean, there's doors,
but they're not very secret.
324
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:39,045
{\an2}HORN BLARES
Hello.Hello, Lucy.
325
00:14:39,085 --> 00:14:41,885
{\an2}What do you know so far?
I know that there's a secret door.
326
00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:43,725
{\an2}Secret door. OK.
327
00:14:43,765 --> 00:14:46,685
{\an2}Do you think it's a real door,
or like a secret door?
328
00:14:46,725 --> 00:14:48,725
{\an2}I think it's probably
a secret door.
329
00:14:48,765 --> 00:14:50,165
{\an2}"This is not the secret task.
330
00:14:50,205 --> 00:14:52,485
{\an2}"The secret task is often
behind you.
331
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:56,805
{\an2}"The secret task
is beneath the Taskmaster."
332
00:14:56,845 --> 00:14:58,205
{\an8}BARELY AUDIBLE: Is it down here?
333
00:14:58,245 --> 00:14:59,445
{\an8}Pardon? Is it down here?
334
00:14:59,485 --> 00:15:00,725
{\an2}HE WHISPERS: I don't know.
335
00:15:00,765 --> 00:15:03,245
{\an2}It's not down here, then,
the secret door? It might be.
336
00:15:03,285 --> 00:15:05,525
{\an2}Is that a yes? No.
337
00:15:05,565 --> 00:15:06,805
{\an1}HORN BLARES
338
00:15:06,845 --> 00:15:08,165
{\an2}Please change rooms.
339
00:15:08,205 --> 00:15:10,165
{\an2}Is there anything nice in there,
do you think?
340
00:15:10,205 --> 00:15:12,605
{\an2}Erm, I couldn't possible say. Ah!
341
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,565
{\an2}Ah, Julian welcome to
the living room.
342
00:15:14,605 --> 00:15:16,165
{\an2}Do you know anything yet at all?
343
00:15:16,205 --> 00:15:18,485
{\an2}It's beneath the Taskmaster.
344
00:15:19,565 --> 00:15:21,165
{\an1}AUDIENCE OOHS
345
00:15:21,205 --> 00:15:23,005
{\an2}"This is the secret task.
346
00:15:23,045 --> 00:15:28,485
{\an2}"You must shout the name of your
contestant in ten seconds from now."
347
00:15:28,525 --> 00:15:30,005
{\an2}Sam Campbell.
348
00:15:30,045 --> 00:15:31,045
{\an1}LAUGHTER
349
00:15:31,085 --> 00:15:33,005
{\an2}HORN BLARES
Please change rooms, everyone.
350
00:15:33,045 --> 00:15:34,645
{\an2}What were you saying just then?
351
00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:37,405
{\an2}There's things of interest
in there. OK.
352
00:15:37,445 --> 00:15:40,085
{\an2}Oh, hello, Sam. How are you?
353
00:15:40,125 --> 00:15:44,605
{\an2}It's very infuriating, this.
I hate looking for things.
354
00:15:44,645 --> 00:15:46,445
{\an2}Psst. Hello.
355
00:15:46,485 --> 00:15:48,285
{\an2}Just passing by.
356
00:15:48,325 --> 00:15:51,965
{\an2}Yes. Under that? This lifts up?
357
00:15:52,005 --> 00:15:53,805
{\an2}That's awesome, wow.
358
00:15:53,845 --> 00:15:55,645
{\an2}Oh, this is the secret task!
359
00:15:55,685 --> 00:16:01,485
{\an2}"You must shout the name of your
contestant in ten seconds from now."
360
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:04,245
{\an1}PLAYS FLAT NOTE
361
00:16:07,645 --> 00:16:10,245
{\an2}Sue Perkins!
HORN BLARES
362
00:16:10,285 --> 00:16:14,005
{\an2}We need to get Lucy in there now.
Yeah, yeah.
363
00:16:14,045 --> 00:16:15,165
{\an1}SHE CHUCKLES
364
00:16:15,205 --> 00:16:17,045
{\an2}I'll be honest with you... Yes.
365
00:16:17,085 --> 00:16:19,565
{\an2}..I don't like looking for things.
Right.
366
00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:22,725
{\an2}Erm, Sam? Yeah?
Where is the task in here?
367
00:16:22,765 --> 00:16:25,045
{\an2}"TM" is my clue.
368
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,245
{\an2}Thank you.
369
00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:27,685
{\an1}SHE GASPS
370
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:31,405
{\an2}Well, that is inspired, thank you.
371
00:16:31,445 --> 00:16:33,605
{\an2}Sue Perkins!
372
00:16:33,645 --> 00:16:37,245
{\an2}I can confirm everyone has now
found the secret task.
373
00:16:37,285 --> 00:16:39,525
{\an2}HORN BLARES
One of your better efforts.
374
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:40,885
{\an2}Ah, thank you, Julian.
375
00:16:40,925 --> 00:16:43,605
{\an1}LAUGHTER
376
00:16:43,645 --> 00:16:45,685
{\an1}APPLAUSE
377
00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:50,125
{\an2}It genuinely sounded there,
with that last sentence,
378
00:16:50,165 --> 00:16:53,125
{\an2}that you were auditioning for
a James Bond villain.
379
00:16:53,165 --> 00:16:57,485
{\an2}"One of your better efforts,
Mr Horne."
380
00:16:59,605 --> 00:17:02,845
{\an2}So, Perkins and Campbell become
the fall guys for this task.
381
00:17:02,885 --> 00:17:05,125
{\an2}Ohh. How did it feel, Sue?
382
00:17:05,165 --> 00:17:08,005
{\an2}It would've felt like bullying,
had that gone on for Sam.
383
00:17:08,045 --> 00:17:10,485
{\an2}He still got three out of five.
384
00:17:10,525 --> 00:17:12,965
{\an2}I thought I was giving him
five extra points.
385
00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:14,205
{\an2}Well, you might be.
386
00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:15,565
{\an2}Ah. You might.
387
00:17:15,605 --> 00:17:20,085
{\an2}Everyone's talking about this guy.
It's official. He has arrived!
388
00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:22,045
{\an1}LAUGHTER
389
00:17:22,085 --> 00:17:24,045
{\an2}Pick the bones out of that
point-wise, then.
390
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:26,325
{\an2}Well, I can tell you exactly
how it works point-wise.
391
00:17:26,365 --> 00:17:28,685
{\an2}Julian, you were the fastest,
six minutes, 30.
392
00:17:28,725 --> 00:17:30,965
{\an2}You shouted "Sam Campbell,"
he loses 5 points.
393
00:17:31,005 --> 00:17:32,525
{\an2}Oh, no. Aww!
394
00:17:32,565 --> 00:17:35,285
{\an2}But Susan, you were the slowest,
you took 18 minutes,
395
00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:36,685
{\an2}you shouted "Sam Campbell,"
396
00:17:36,725 --> 00:17:37,725
{\an2}so he gains 5 points!
397
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:38,765
{\an1}ALL CHEER
398
00:17:38,805 --> 00:17:40,205
{\an2}Back to zero.
399
00:17:40,245 --> 00:17:42,125
{\an1}LAUGHTER
400
00:17:42,165 --> 00:17:44,805
{\an2}Sam, you were the second-fastest,
eight minutes, 50.
401
00:17:44,845 --> 00:17:47,325
{\an2}You shouted "Sue Perkins,"
she loses a point.
402
00:17:47,365 --> 00:17:48,365
{\an1}AUDIENCE AWWS
403
00:17:48,405 --> 00:17:51,485
{\an2}Sue, you were the second-slowest,
16 minutes, five,
404
00:17:51,525 --> 00:17:53,805
{\an2}you shouted "Sam Campbell,"
he gains a point.
405
00:17:53,845 --> 00:17:54,845
{\an1}ALL CHEER
406
00:17:54,885 --> 00:17:56,685
{\an2}Oh, my God this is
a roller-coaster!
407
00:17:56,725 --> 00:17:59,165
{\an2}Lucy, you were in the middle,
13 minutes, 25,
408
00:17:59,205 --> 00:18:02,725
{\an2}you shouted "Sue Perkins,"
so Sue Perkins wins a special hat!
409
00:18:02,765 --> 00:18:08,325
{\an2}JULIAN:Oh, my God!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
410
00:18:09,405 --> 00:18:11,165
{\an1}LAUGHTER
411
00:18:11,205 --> 00:18:13,605
{\an1}CHEERING
412
00:18:15,085 --> 00:18:18,565
{\an2}It's like a really, really weird
version of Handmaid's Tale.
413
00:18:18,605 --> 00:18:21,005
{\an1}LAUGHTER
414
00:18:21,045 --> 00:18:22,485
{\an2}Can you tell me the scores, please?
415
00:18:22,525 --> 00:18:24,845
{\an2}Yes, oh, it's such a tight
score board, Greg. Ooh!
416
00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:26,685
{\an2}Sam and Lucy are at the
bottom with 3,
417
00:18:26,725 --> 00:18:28,805
{\an2}all the rest are at the top
with 4 points!
418
00:18:28,845 --> 00:18:31,165
{\an1}APPLAUSE
419
00:18:32,485 --> 00:18:34,885
{\an2}Shall we get on with the next bit
of the show please, Alex?
420
00:18:34,925 --> 00:18:36,485
{\an2}Oh, let's do it, Daddy.
421
00:18:54,485 --> 00:18:55,965
{\an2}Hello, sausage.
422
00:18:56,005 --> 00:18:57,845
{\an2}Oh, hello, Sue.
423
00:18:57,885 --> 00:18:58,885
{\an2}Hiya.
424
00:19:00,645 --> 00:19:02,445
{\an2}Would you like me to bend over?
425
00:19:02,485 --> 00:19:03,805
{\an2}I really would.
426
00:19:08,845 --> 00:19:11,405
{\an2}"Complete the fortune trail."
427
00:19:14,725 --> 00:19:16,645
{\an2}What is a fortune trail?
428
00:19:16,685 --> 00:19:18,165
{\an2}This is a fortune trail.
429
00:19:18,205 --> 00:19:19,565
{\an2}"Fastest wins."
430
00:19:21,005 --> 00:19:22,565
{\an2}Goes from right to left.
431
00:19:22,605 --> 00:19:24,645
{\an2}There are five tasks on
the fortune trail.
432
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,605
{\an2}Oh, well, always start
with the ladder.
433
00:19:26,645 --> 00:19:28,685
{\an2}Down the fortune ladder,
through piggy...
434
00:19:28,725 --> 00:19:30,885
{\an2}Is that a bag of salt?
Oh, yeah. Classic.
435
00:19:30,925 --> 00:19:32,485
{\an2}"Your time starts now."
436
00:19:33,885 --> 00:19:35,765
{\an1}APPLAUSE
437
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,365
{\an2}The fortune trail,
the concept of the fortune trail
438
00:19:40,405 --> 00:19:41,845
{\an2}threw you a little bit, Sam.
439
00:19:41,885 --> 00:19:44,165
{\an2}I'd never heard of that in my life.
No. And do you know why?
440
00:19:44,205 --> 00:19:45,725
{\an2}It's cos he made it up.
441
00:19:45,765 --> 00:19:47,125
{\an1}LAUGHTER
442
00:19:47,165 --> 00:19:49,285
{\an1}It's like Brian Blessed, is he real?
443
00:19:49,325 --> 00:19:52,125
{\an2}SUE: Oh, he's super real.
Yeah, he's real, yeah. Oh, wow.
444
00:19:52,165 --> 00:19:54,485
{\an1}LAUGHTER
445
00:19:54,525 --> 00:19:55,685
{\an2}Let's crack on.
446
00:19:55,725 --> 00:20:00,365
{\an2}First to test their luck are
Sam Cam and Sue Wo.
447
00:20:00,405 --> 00:20:02,445
{\an2}"Your time starts now!"
448
00:20:03,725 --> 00:20:05,365
{\an2}Are you a superstitious person?
449
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,845
{\an2}Yes. Oh, good.
450
00:20:06,885 --> 00:20:09,565
{\an2}All right. "Walk under
the ladder..."
451
00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:11,525
{\an2}"..Or put the ladder back
in the shed."
452
00:20:11,565 --> 00:20:12,885
{\an2}Under the ladder?
453
00:20:16,525 --> 00:20:18,605
{\an2}Cool.
So, you're not that superstitious?
454
00:20:18,645 --> 00:20:21,325
{\an2}Yeah, but like, I'm also,
like, I want to win.
455
00:20:21,365 --> 00:20:23,045
{\an2}"Find a lucky penny..."
456
00:20:23,085 --> 00:20:26,045
{\an2}"..Or put exactly £13 on
the lucky plate."
457
00:20:28,525 --> 00:20:30,245
{\an2}Am I allowed to smash this?
458
00:20:32,205 --> 00:20:33,805
{\an2}Yeah, you can smash it.
459
00:20:33,845 --> 00:20:36,165
{\an1}LAUGHTER
460
00:20:36,205 --> 00:20:39,885
{\an2}How do you tell if they're lucky?
Oh, you'll know if it's lucky.
461
00:20:39,925 --> 00:20:43,445
{\an2}How much have you got so far?
£1.Ah.
462
00:20:43,485 --> 00:20:45,165
{\an2}£3.
463
00:20:45,205 --> 00:20:47,165
{\an2}Ten more.
464
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:48,965
{\an2}I'm done with that one.
465
00:20:49,005 --> 00:20:50,925
{\an2}Stage Two complete.
466
00:20:50,965 --> 00:20:53,325
{\an2}40, 50, 13 quid.
467
00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:55,005
{\an2}Stage Two complete. Cool.
468
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,845
{\an2}"Either spill the salt or throw..."
469
00:20:56,885 --> 00:20:58,685
{\an2}"..All the salt over your
shoulder..."
470
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:01,765
{\an2}"..Onto the pasta in the caravan."
"..In the caravan." What?
471
00:21:04,485 --> 00:21:06,885
{\an2}Oh, dear, that's bad luck. Oh.
472
00:21:06,925 --> 00:21:09,165
{\an2}"And open the umbrella
inside the shed..."
473
00:21:09,205 --> 00:21:10,885
{\an2}"..Or close these five umbrellas."
474
00:21:10,925 --> 00:21:13,045
{\an2}One.
475
00:21:13,085 --> 00:21:14,485
{\an2}Two.
476
00:21:17,965 --> 00:21:19,925
{\an2}Oh!
SHE GIGGLES
477
00:21:20,965 --> 00:21:22,285
{\an2}Impressive.
478
00:21:25,925 --> 00:21:27,885
{\an2}I found a lucky penny, as well.
479
00:21:27,925 --> 00:21:30,005
{\an2}Oh, well done.
480
00:21:30,045 --> 00:21:31,205
{\an2}Mm!
481
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,085
{\an2}Ah, and what's that?
482
00:21:36,765 --> 00:21:38,605
{\an2}"Toss five heads in a row."
483
00:21:42,445 --> 00:21:44,325
{\an2}Heads.
484
00:21:44,365 --> 00:21:46,485
{\an2}One head. Great. Get that?
485
00:21:46,525 --> 00:21:47,965
{\an2}Well, this'll be easy.
486
00:21:48,005 --> 00:21:49,005
{\an2}Tails.
487
00:21:50,205 --> 00:21:52,885
{\an2}Heads. OK.
So, how many have I done? One.
488
00:21:52,925 --> 00:21:55,005
{\an2}No, I haven't.
It's heads in a row.
489
00:21:55,045 --> 00:21:58,125
{\an2}In a row? In a row.
You just did tails.
490
00:21:58,165 --> 00:22:01,285
{\an2}What? This'll take all my life!
At this rate.
491
00:22:02,685 --> 00:22:05,645
{\an2}Four. Wow, OK so this will do it.
492
00:22:07,245 --> 00:22:09,205
{\an2}Ohh, no!
493
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:10,445
{\an2}Tails.
494
00:22:10,485 --> 00:22:12,485
{\an2}Heads. Heads. Tails. Heads.
495
00:22:12,525 --> 00:22:15,045
{\an2}Tails. Tails. Tails. Tails.
Tails. One head!
496
00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:16,885
{\an2}You got a head? No! OK.
497
00:22:16,925 --> 00:22:19,085
{\an2}Maybe it just needs less tosses.
498
00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:20,525
{\an2}Fewer.
499
00:22:20,565 --> 00:22:22,125
{\an2}Heads, that's two.
500
00:22:22,165 --> 00:22:23,525
{\an2}Three! Oh!
501
00:22:24,765 --> 00:22:27,485
{\an2}Four. We've been here before,
though, haven't we?
502
00:22:30,245 --> 00:22:31,805
{\an2}It's heads! Stop the clock.
503
00:22:31,845 --> 00:22:33,885
{\an2}Not like winning...matters.
504
00:22:35,805 --> 00:22:37,685
{\an2}Yeah! How long, was it?
505
00:22:37,725 --> 00:22:39,485
{\an2}Thanks. Great.
506
00:22:41,445 --> 00:22:43,165
{\an2}Have you got anything of ours?
507
00:22:43,205 --> 00:22:44,805
{\an2}Er, no.
508
00:22:44,845 --> 00:22:46,325
{\an2}Oh, I do still have one coin.
509
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,165
{\an2}Back on the table. Sorry, sir.
510
00:22:56,005 --> 00:22:57,765
{\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS
511
00:22:59,485 --> 00:23:01,885
{\an1}APPLAUSE
512
00:23:07,045 --> 00:23:08,485
{\an2}SUE: Ohh!
513
00:23:08,525 --> 00:23:10,485
{\an2}I know Alex of old now, and I...
514
00:23:10,525 --> 00:23:13,005
{\an2}As soon as I saw there was a
special coin, I thought,
515
00:23:13,045 --> 00:23:14,645
{\an2}"I bet that's a
doubled-headed coin."
516
00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:17,125
{\an2}It's the sort of thing this
dweeb gets off on.
517
00:23:17,165 --> 00:23:18,685
{\an2}There were a few of them, as well.
518
00:23:18,725 --> 00:23:20,805
{\an2}There was one in the caravan,
if you'd gone in there,
519
00:23:20,845 --> 00:23:23,085
{\an2}One in that little moneybox,
one behind you on the door.
520
00:23:23,125 --> 00:23:24,565
{\an2}They were dotted about. Ahh.
521
00:23:24,605 --> 00:23:28,725
{\an2}But if either had worked that out,
we would've been robbed of one of
522
00:23:28,765 --> 00:23:31,925
{\an2}the more dramatic statements that
Sam's made during this show.
523
00:23:31,965 --> 00:23:33,725
{\an2}"This'll take all my life!"
524
00:23:33,765 --> 00:23:35,805
{\an1}LAUGHTER
525
00:23:37,045 --> 00:23:39,725
{\an2}Sam was very quick going down
the fortune trail... Yeah.
526
00:23:39,765 --> 00:23:43,205
{\an2}..and he got five in a row
in just six minutes, 51.
527
00:23:43,245 --> 00:23:45,565
{\an2}Wow, that's nowhere near
all your life!
528
00:23:47,485 --> 00:23:49,645
{\an2}And Susan, nine minutes, 49.
529
00:23:49,685 --> 00:23:51,085
{\an2}Oh, well there we go.
530
00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:53,245
{\an2}Now we're throwing to the adverts,
531
00:23:53,285 --> 00:23:56,685
{\an2}just time to pop into your
teenager's bedroom and confirm
532
00:23:56,725 --> 00:23:59,365
{\an2}that they're spending all their
spare time scrolling through
533
00:23:59,405 --> 00:24:01,605
{\an2}their phones like
a brain-dead text zombie.
534
00:24:01,645 --> 00:24:04,645
{\an2}Bad parenting alert!
It's your fault!
535
00:24:04,685 --> 00:24:07,405
{\an2}See you in a bit.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
536
00:24:13,725 --> 00:24:16,085
{\an2}CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Welcome back!
537
00:24:16,125 --> 00:24:19,445
{\an2}This is Taskmaster, it's part three,
and we're in the middle of a task
538
00:24:19,485 --> 00:24:20,925
{\an2}to test their superstition.
539
00:24:20,965 --> 00:24:24,645
{\an2}Who's next? It is Julian,
Lucy, and Sue now.
540
00:24:24,685 --> 00:24:27,045
{\an2}Are you a superstitious person, Sue?
541
00:24:27,085 --> 00:24:28,565
{\an2}It's too late for that.
542
00:24:32,485 --> 00:24:33,805
{\an2}Lovely.
543
00:24:33,845 --> 00:24:36,085
{\an2}Walk under it? No.
544
00:24:36,125 --> 00:24:37,845
{\an2}I'm not going
to walk under it, am I?
545
00:24:42,605 --> 00:24:44,125
{\an2}"Find a lucky penny."
546
00:24:44,165 --> 00:24:47,605
{\an2}How do I find a penny?
Is it here somewhere?
547
00:24:47,645 --> 00:24:50,325
{\an2}Can I skip on and come back to it?
Yeah, 'course.
548
00:24:50,365 --> 00:24:51,845
{\an2}Imma come back to that.
549
00:24:53,445 --> 00:24:56,245
{\an2}If I give them £7 and a penny,
550
00:24:56,285 --> 00:24:58,765
{\an2}then that sort of cancels
each other out.
551
00:24:58,805 --> 00:25:02,765
{\an2}You know, cos if this penny
isn't lucky, they've got £7.
552
00:25:02,805 --> 00:25:07,085
{\an2}"Either spill the salt or throw all
the salt over your shoulder..."
553
00:25:07,125 --> 00:25:09,005
{\an2}"..Onto the pasta in the caravan."
554
00:25:14,085 --> 00:25:15,525
{\an2}Oh, I've spilt it!
555
00:25:19,725 --> 00:25:22,685
{\an2}Now, what's happened there? Have you
done what it said on the task?
556
00:25:22,725 --> 00:25:24,845
{\an2}"Either open the umbrella
inside the shed..."
557
00:25:24,885 --> 00:25:26,885
{\an2}Yeah, I opened the umbrella
inside the shed.
558
00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:29,925
{\an2}I see, so you opened one of
these umbrellas inside the shed.
559
00:25:29,965 --> 00:25:32,365
{\an2}Damn your syntactical vortex!
560
00:25:35,125 --> 00:25:36,965
{\an2}In the shed, umbrella in the shed.
561
00:25:38,725 --> 00:25:41,045
{\an2}I suppose the younger contestants
562
00:25:41,085 --> 00:25:43,365
{\an2}will be better at this
sort of thing.
563
00:25:43,405 --> 00:25:44,725
{\an1}LAUGHTER
564
00:25:44,765 --> 00:25:47,845
{\an2}What you doing? Lucky penny!
565
00:25:47,885 --> 00:25:49,685
{\an2}There's a lucky penny!
566
00:25:49,725 --> 00:25:51,765
{\an2}So, that goes on there. OK.
567
00:25:51,805 --> 00:25:53,245
{\an2}Oh, there's a penny.
568
00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:54,925
{\an2}Is it lucky?
569
00:25:54,965 --> 00:25:58,245
{\an2}"Toss five heads on a coin
in a row.
570
00:25:58,285 --> 00:26:01,805
{\an2}"Each toss of the coin must be
a standard coin toss."
571
00:26:01,845 --> 00:26:04,845
{\an2}Just feels like we've been here
before with the lucky penny.
572
00:26:06,525 --> 00:26:08,645
{\an2}Heads.
573
00:26:08,685 --> 00:26:12,645
{\an2}Hang on, there's gotta be
something easier than doing this.
574
00:26:12,685 --> 00:26:15,925
{\an2}I'm going to toss my head
five times in a row.
575
00:26:15,965 --> 00:26:17,285
{\an2}On the coin.
576
00:26:17,325 --> 00:26:20,365
{\an1}LAUGHTER
577
00:26:22,525 --> 00:26:25,605
{\an2}Maybe there's a coin with two heads.
578
00:26:25,645 --> 00:26:28,125
{\an1}AUDIENCE OOHS
579
00:26:28,165 --> 00:26:30,565
{\an2}No, these are all real coins.
580
00:26:30,605 --> 00:26:32,205
{\an2}You're only looking at one side.
581
00:26:32,245 --> 00:26:34,205
{\an1}LAUGHTER
582
00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:38,085
{\an1}AUDIENCE GASPS
583
00:26:41,285 --> 00:26:42,445
{\an2}Yes!
584
00:26:44,165 --> 00:26:45,605
{\an2}Three. Ooh.
585
00:26:45,645 --> 00:26:47,205
{\an2}I've found a lucky coin! Right.
586
00:26:47,245 --> 00:26:48,445
{\an2}It's got two heads on it.
587
00:26:48,485 --> 00:26:50,205
{\an2}OK, see if you can toss
five in a row.
588
00:26:52,365 --> 00:26:55,045
{\an2}Sorry, I-I've seen it done on film.
589
00:26:55,085 --> 00:26:56,125
{\an2}Yes.
590
00:26:58,525 --> 00:27:00,725
{\an2}You've gotta start again,
I'm afraid, Lucy.
591
00:27:00,765 --> 00:27:03,925
{\an2}Oh, fancy finding it, and then...
I can just do it on there, yeah?
592
00:27:03,965 --> 00:27:05,845
{\an2}LAUGHING: Oh, sorry.
593
00:27:09,005 --> 00:27:12,645
{\an2}Is that tossed enough?
Well, I-I've stopped the clock.
594
00:27:12,685 --> 00:27:14,885
{\an2}Heads, I've stopped the clock.
595
00:27:14,925 --> 00:27:16,845
{\an2}Four. Now, here we go.
596
00:27:18,725 --> 00:27:20,925
{\an2}Five. Was it a standard toss,
that last one?
597
00:27:20,965 --> 00:27:22,885
{\an2}It was, and the penny in there.
598
00:27:22,925 --> 00:27:24,765
{\an2}Jolly good. Yeah.
599
00:27:24,805 --> 00:27:26,845
{\an2}You got a problem?
Not wi...not...
600
00:27:26,885 --> 00:27:28,045
{\an2}No, sir.
601
00:27:28,085 --> 00:27:30,125
{\an1}LAUGHTER
602
00:27:30,165 --> 00:27:33,285
{\an1}APPLAUSE
603
00:27:36,045 --> 00:27:37,965
{\an2}Some firsts for Julian there,
604
00:27:38,005 --> 00:27:41,045
{\an2}that's the first time we've
seen you directly threaten Alex.
605
00:27:42,405 --> 00:27:44,325
{\an2}Heterosexual male banter.
606
00:27:44,365 --> 00:27:46,005
{\an1}LAUGHTER
607
00:27:46,045 --> 00:27:49,485
{\an2}Erm, what I wrote about you, Sue,
is you "lost your goddamn mind."
608
00:27:49,525 --> 00:27:50,805
{\an2}That happened.
609
00:27:50,845 --> 00:27:52,845
{\an2}Do I allow Sue's head tossing?
610
00:27:52,885 --> 00:27:56,805
{\an2}Hmm. It did say they were meant
to be standard coin tosses.
611
00:27:56,845 --> 00:28:00,605
{\an2}Listen, I've travelled, I've been
lucky enough to travel a lot.
612
00:28:00,645 --> 00:28:03,685
{\an2}Er, just because we toss a coin
in the West like this,
613
00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:06,205
{\an2}let me tell you...
Yeah, we all know that in Peru,
614
00:28:06,245 --> 00:28:08,205
{\an2}that's how they do it.
LAUGHTER
615
00:28:09,565 --> 00:28:14,165
{\an2}Lucy, the thing that I'm most
fascinated by is the fact that you
616
00:28:14,205 --> 00:28:17,125
{\an2}have a singular inability
to toss a coin.
617
00:28:17,165 --> 00:28:20,605
{\an2}I've never done that with -
someone's always done it, you know?
618
00:28:20,645 --> 00:28:23,045
{\an2}Usually, without being sexist,
a man.
619
00:28:23,085 --> 00:28:25,965
{\an2}A man. Yeah. You've got a man
who does that for you?
620
00:28:26,005 --> 00:28:28,125
{\an2}No, I mean, you know...
621
00:28:28,165 --> 00:28:29,965
{\an2}I-I've never packed a boot.
622
00:28:30,005 --> 00:28:33,125
{\an1}LAUGHTER
623
00:28:33,165 --> 00:28:35,525
{\an2}SUE: Why would you?
624
00:28:35,565 --> 00:28:38,485
{\an2}I'll say, she was so much slower
than all of them,
625
00:28:38,525 --> 00:28:41,565
{\an2}despite finding
the two-headed coin. Yeah.
626
00:28:41,605 --> 00:28:45,485
{\an2}Ahh. Erm, Julian, you flicked it
incredibly quickly.
627
00:28:45,525 --> 00:28:46,645
{\an2}It was on your third go.
628
00:28:46,685 --> 00:28:48,965
{\an2}You only have a 3% chance of
doing it five times in a row.
629
00:28:49,005 --> 00:28:51,085
{\an2}So, Julian did the whole thing
in four minutes, 12.
630
00:28:51,125 --> 00:28:53,965
{\an2}Lucy, 11 minutes, three. Yes.
631
00:28:54,005 --> 00:28:56,445
{\an2}And in the middle,
we had Sam, six minutes, 51,
632
00:28:56,485 --> 00:28:58,725
{\an2}Sue, six minutes, 56,
Susan, nine minutes, 49.
633
00:28:58,765 --> 00:29:02,525
{\an2}But Lucy did only put £7 and
a penny on the £13 tray.
634
00:29:02,565 --> 00:29:05,125
{\an2}So, I'm afraid you didn't do all
of the tasks. Didn't do it.
635
00:29:05,165 --> 00:29:07,765
{\an2}And, just while I'm being
a party-pooper, Sue,
636
00:29:07,805 --> 00:29:10,565
{\an2}I'm afraid it's not considered
a standard coin toss
637
00:29:10,605 --> 00:29:12,165
{\an2}anywhere in the world.
638
00:29:12,205 --> 00:29:14,565
{\an2}It's good I've got a jacket
for this eventuality.
639
00:29:14,605 --> 00:29:15,925
{\an1}LAUGHTER
640
00:29:18,605 --> 00:29:20,485
{\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS
641
00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:22,765
{\an1}APPLAUSE
642
00:29:29,485 --> 00:29:31,085
{\an2}When did you do that?
643
00:29:31,125 --> 00:29:33,645
{\an2}Erm, I said I wanted to go for
a wee, and then, I did it,
644
00:29:33,685 --> 00:29:36,925
{\an2}and then, some of the guys backstage
helped me do it. Ah.
645
00:29:36,965 --> 00:29:39,485
{\an2}So, there we are. There we are,
it means that Susan,
646
00:29:39,525 --> 00:29:41,245
{\an2}you get 3 points. Sam, 4.
647
00:29:41,285 --> 00:29:43,645
{\an2}But Julian, you thought this was
a young person's task,
648
00:29:43,685 --> 00:29:46,645
{\an2}wins all 5 points!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
649
00:29:48,125 --> 00:29:49,805
{\an1}I think I'd like another, please.
650
00:29:49,845 --> 00:29:52,325
{\an2}OK, then, Greg, and night-night!
651
00:29:52,365 --> 00:29:53,365
{\an2}Ooh!
652
00:30:09,525 --> 00:30:11,405
{\an2}Ah, Susan. Hi.
653
00:30:14,085 --> 00:30:15,725
{\an1}LAUGHTER
654
00:30:15,765 --> 00:30:18,845
{\an2}Julian. Hello.
655
00:30:18,885 --> 00:30:20,565
{\an2}Good evening.
656
00:30:22,525 --> 00:30:24,765
{\an2}Night-night. Ah.
657
00:30:24,805 --> 00:30:26,405
{\an2}It's nice, in't it?
658
00:30:26,445 --> 00:30:28,925
{\an2}Ah, love a starry night.
659
00:30:28,965 --> 00:30:32,765
{\an2}Might just adjust this to stay
in the same frame.
660
00:30:32,805 --> 00:30:34,205
{\an2}Perfect.
661
00:30:34,245 --> 00:30:36,245
{\an2}What the h... Really? Yeah.
662
00:30:36,285 --> 00:30:38,365
{\an2}"Convince a child you're asleep.
663
00:30:38,405 --> 00:30:41,405
{\an2}"You must either have
a nap lasting one minute
664
00:30:41,445 --> 00:30:44,165
{\an2}"with your face visible throughout.
665
00:30:44,205 --> 00:30:48,325
{\an8}"During this nap, you must
snore and sleep walk.
666
00:30:50,965 --> 00:30:54,645
{\an2}"Or you must have a nap
lasting one minute
667
00:30:54,685 --> 00:30:56,765
{\an2}"where you are not in bed at all,
668
00:30:56,805 --> 00:30:59,125
{\an2}"but the child thinks you are.
669
00:30:59,165 --> 00:31:02,325
{\an8}"During this nap,
you must snore and sleep talk.
670
00:31:02,365 --> 00:31:05,605
{\an2}"Most convincing sleeper wins.
671
00:31:05,645 --> 00:31:09,445
{\an2}"You have a maximum of 20 minutes.
Your time starts now."
672
00:31:09,485 --> 00:31:11,805
{\an2}Wh-Who is this child?
673
00:31:11,845 --> 00:31:13,605
{\an2}Which method are you going to take?
674
00:31:13,645 --> 00:31:15,085
{\an8}I'll go in the bed, I think.
675
00:31:16,605 --> 00:31:20,125
{\an8}I'm going to do number one,
it'll be me with my face visible.
676
00:31:20,165 --> 00:31:23,365
{\an2}Quite a good actress,
so I'll just do it myself.
677
00:31:25,365 --> 00:31:26,765
{\an2}I'm not going to be in the bed.
678
00:31:26,805 --> 00:31:28,965
{\an8}I'm going to be talking to
this child and...
679
00:31:29,005 --> 00:31:30,445
{\an8}..sleep talking, snoring.
680
00:31:30,485 --> 00:31:32,045
{\an8}You think that's the best way?
681
00:31:32,085 --> 00:31:33,605
{\an8}For me, yeah.
682
00:31:33,645 --> 00:31:35,325
{\an2}I'm going to do the sleep talking.
683
00:31:35,365 --> 00:31:38,725
{\an8}I want to have some movement,
cos when you're a sleep talker,
684
00:31:38,765 --> 00:31:41,645
{\an8}the body moves, so it'll need to
sort of move around a bit.
685
00:31:41,685 --> 00:31:43,645
{\an2}I was made for this.
686
00:31:43,685 --> 00:31:45,045
{\an2}I don't know if you know,
687
00:31:45,085 --> 00:31:47,605
{\an2}but I trained at the Royal Academy
of Dramatic Art, mate.
688
00:31:47,645 --> 00:31:50,085
{\an2}You think you're going to win
this one? I think so.
689
00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:51,805
{\an1}MUSIC BOX PLAYS
690
00:31:51,845 --> 00:31:53,125
{\an1}JULIAN GROANS
691
00:31:57,165 --> 00:31:59,045
{\an1}APPLAUSE
692
00:32:02,885 --> 00:32:05,285
{\an2}I thought that Sue and Susan
looked quite sweet
693
00:32:05,325 --> 00:32:06,645
{\an2}in their bedtime outfits,
694
00:32:06,685 --> 00:32:09,565
{\an2}and everyone else looked like
they were members of a cult.
695
00:32:11,405 --> 00:32:15,805
{\an2}So, everyone, in a way, is planning
to use their acting skills -
696
00:32:15,845 --> 00:32:18,165
{\an2}with the exception of Julian,
697
00:32:18,205 --> 00:32:20,885
{\an2}who I think is just planning
to go to sleep.
698
00:32:20,925 --> 00:32:23,085
{\an1}LAUGHTER
699
00:32:23,125 --> 00:32:24,245
{\an2}We'll see.
700
00:32:24,285 --> 00:32:26,245
{\an2}OK, we're going to see
the child now,
701
00:32:26,285 --> 00:32:30,245
{\an2}watching Lucy and Susan, and Julian
pretending to be asleep. OK.
702
00:32:30,285 --> 00:32:31,925
{\an2}Hello, Flossy. Hi.
703
00:32:31,965 --> 00:32:34,765
{\an2}OK, this first person,
it's a man called Julian.
704
00:32:42,245 --> 00:32:43,925
{\an1}SNORING
705
00:32:47,365 --> 00:32:50,525
{\an1}SNORING CONTINUES
706
00:33:08,205 --> 00:33:10,765
{\an1}LAUGHTER
707
00:33:16,365 --> 00:33:20,525
{\an2}That was Julian.
Do you think he was asleep?
708
00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:22,645
{\an2}No.Uh-huh.
LAUGHTER
709
00:33:22,685 --> 00:33:24,085
{\an2}OK, this is Susan.
710
00:33:34,325 --> 00:33:37,045
{\an1}SHE SNORES
711
00:33:38,605 --> 00:33:40,125
{\an1}SHE GRUNTS
712
00:33:43,525 --> 00:33:46,845
{\an1}LOUD SNORING
713
00:33:53,485 --> 00:33:54,925
{\an2}I think she's asleep,
714
00:33:54,965 --> 00:33:57,845
{\an2}cos her sound's a little
bit more realistic.
715
00:33:57,885 --> 00:33:59,045
{\an2}OK, and this is Lucy.
716
00:33:59,085 --> 00:34:03,285
{\an1}LOUD SNORING
717
00:34:10,165 --> 00:34:11,645
{\an2}Morning.
718
00:34:11,685 --> 00:34:13,205
{\an1}LAUGHTER
719
00:34:13,245 --> 00:34:15,565
{\an2}It's time to get up now.
720
00:34:15,605 --> 00:34:16,925
{\an2}Come on, then.
721
00:34:16,965 --> 00:34:19,725
{\an1}LAUGHTER
722
00:34:22,565 --> 00:34:25,005
{\an2}Ohh...where are my socks?
723
00:34:26,325 --> 00:34:28,645
{\an2}Where are my socks?
724
00:34:28,685 --> 00:34:32,085
{\an2}I'm... Oh. Not that way.
725
00:34:32,125 --> 00:34:34,125
{\an2}Oh...
726
00:34:34,165 --> 00:34:36,525
{\an2}..just five more minutes.
727
00:34:41,005 --> 00:34:42,965
{\an1}LOUD SNORE
728
00:34:43,005 --> 00:34:44,765
{\an2}Awake or asleep?
729
00:34:44,805 --> 00:34:47,165
{\an2}Awake. You could actually see
her eyes opening.
730
00:34:47,205 --> 00:34:49,365
{\an2}She was like looking
for her socks like that.
731
00:34:49,405 --> 00:34:51,885
{\an2}I don't know how she would be able
to get in, back into bed
732
00:34:51,925 --> 00:34:53,645
{\an2}when she was looking for her socks.
733
00:34:55,325 --> 00:34:57,045
{\an1}APPLAUSE
734
00:35:01,325 --> 00:35:04,285
{\an2}RADA strikes again. Yeah.
735
00:35:04,325 --> 00:35:06,165
{\an2}It's - I know it's annoying,
736
00:35:06,205 --> 00:35:10,605
{\an2}but it's all I've got, so...
let me have it. Yeah.
737
00:35:10,645 --> 00:35:13,285
{\an2}Er, Lucy, what I wrote down was
738
00:35:13,325 --> 00:35:16,045
{\an2}"some of the worst acting
I've ever seen."
739
00:35:16,085 --> 00:35:19,085
{\an2}I know, I don't get many acting
roles, have you noticed?
740
00:35:19,125 --> 00:35:20,485
{\an1}LAUGHTER
741
00:35:20,525 --> 00:35:24,765
{\an2}I asked Alex during it if he could
show us Flossy's reaction
742
00:35:24,805 --> 00:35:26,845
{\an2}to your acting one more time.
743
00:35:26,885 --> 00:35:28,165
{\an2}She reacted like this.
744
00:35:28,205 --> 00:35:29,925
{\an2}Come on, then.
745
00:35:29,965 --> 00:35:32,165
{\an1}LAUGHTER
746
00:35:36,325 --> 00:35:37,805
{\an2}Part three is over.
747
00:35:37,845 --> 00:35:41,325
{\an2}Come back to see our task titans
grapple it out in the final part.
748
00:35:41,365 --> 00:35:43,845
{\an2}All desperate to take home
a lump of cobalt,
749
00:35:43,885 --> 00:35:46,285
{\an2}a cat balls calendar, and scream,
750
00:35:46,325 --> 00:35:50,325
{\an2}"Look, Mum, I've made it!"
CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
751
00:35:56,365 --> 00:35:58,085
{\an2}CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
Hello!
752
00:35:58,125 --> 00:36:00,205
{\an2}Welcome back to
the final part of the show,
753
00:36:00,245 --> 00:36:04,005
{\an2}where our cast are fast asleep -
or are they?
754
00:36:04,045 --> 00:36:06,565
{\an2}No, they're all awake, Greg,
come on, mate.
755
00:36:06,605 --> 00:36:08,645
{\an2}Pay attention, but they are
attempting to trick
756
00:36:08,685 --> 00:36:12,605
{\an2}our special guest sleep inspector,
Flossy, into believing they are.
757
00:36:12,645 --> 00:36:15,405
{\an2}Now it's time for Sam and Sue.
758
00:36:15,445 --> 00:36:20,525
{\an2}So, I've got my snoring string
and my sleep-talking stick.
759
00:36:20,565 --> 00:36:22,245
{\an2}Of course. Yeah? Mm-hm.
760
00:36:24,605 --> 00:36:26,565
{\an1}SNORES LOUDLY
761
00:36:32,365 --> 00:36:34,925
{\an1}SNORING CONTINUES
762
00:36:34,965 --> 00:36:37,205
{\an2}Here's Sue.
763
00:36:37,245 --> 00:36:40,005
{\an1}LOUD SNORING
764
00:36:40,045 --> 00:36:41,725
{\an1}INDISTINCT MUTTERING
765
00:36:41,765 --> 00:36:43,485
{\an2}..Lateral thinking...
766
00:36:43,525 --> 00:36:45,805
{\an1}SNORING CONTINUES
767
00:36:45,845 --> 00:36:48,565
{\an2}..Your time starts now...
768
00:36:48,605 --> 00:36:50,765
{\an1}Flossy, what do you think of Sue?
769
00:36:50,805 --> 00:36:52,285
{\an2}I think she's awake.
770
00:36:52,325 --> 00:36:55,005
{\an2}I don't think her snoring kept on
stopping and going,
771
00:36:55,045 --> 00:36:57,605
{\an2}and stopping and going,
and it kept on going, like, on.
772
00:36:57,645 --> 00:36:59,845
{\an2}Really? Interesting.
773
00:36:59,885 --> 00:37:02,165
{\an2}Right, well, there's only
one more to see.
774
00:37:02,205 --> 00:37:05,365
{\an2}I'm now going to show you
somebody called Sam.
775
00:37:05,405 --> 00:37:07,485
{\an1}LOUD SNORING
776
00:37:12,685 --> 00:37:14,765
{\an1}LAUGHTER
777
00:37:14,805 --> 00:37:16,685
{\an1}SNORING CONTINUES
778
00:37:18,325 --> 00:37:20,525
{\an1}LAUGHTER
779
00:37:23,725 --> 00:37:27,965
{\an1}SNORING CONTINUES
780
00:37:30,885 --> 00:37:32,005
{\an2}Thank you.
781
00:37:33,165 --> 00:37:35,325
{\an2}I think he's asleep.
782
00:37:35,365 --> 00:37:38,005
{\an2}We're saying Sam is asleep? Mm.
783
00:37:38,045 --> 00:37:42,605
{\an2}Right. So, we're down to Susan,
or Sam, the flamingo.
784
00:37:42,645 --> 00:37:45,085
{\an2}I think she was awake. Really?
785
00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:48,045
{\an2}So, you're saying that
flamingo is asleep?
786
00:37:48,085 --> 00:37:49,085
{\an2}Yeah.
787
00:37:49,125 --> 00:37:51,925
{\an1}LAUGHTER
788
00:37:56,965 --> 00:37:59,285
{\an2}It looks like RADA has
been defeated.
789
00:37:59,325 --> 00:38:00,765
{\an1}LAUGHTER
790
00:38:00,805 --> 00:38:03,565
{\an2}By a toy flamingo.
791
00:38:03,605 --> 00:38:05,205
{\an2}We haven't said anything about Sue.
792
00:38:05,245 --> 00:38:07,325
{\an2}No, Flossy sort of saw
through your technique,
793
00:38:07,365 --> 00:38:08,605
{\an2}because it was a bit jerky.
794
00:38:08,645 --> 00:38:11,525
{\an2}I just really liked the idea of
stuffing a massive stick up
795
00:38:11,565 --> 00:38:14,645
{\an2}a mannequin's arse and rotating it
like a rotisserie chicken.
796
00:38:14,685 --> 00:38:17,245
{\an2}Sue went to a lot of effort
to construct that,
797
00:38:17,285 --> 00:38:19,605
{\an2}and Flossy just went,
"Nah, she's not asleep."
798
00:38:19,645 --> 00:38:20,845
{\an1}LAUGHTER
799
00:38:20,885 --> 00:38:24,285
{\an2}Although, Greg, I think it is worth
reassessing the techniques used
800
00:38:24,325 --> 00:38:25,445
{\an2}by one of the sleepers.
801
00:38:25,485 --> 00:38:27,685
{\an2}Oh, OK. Have a watch of this.
802
00:38:27,725 --> 00:38:29,085
{\an1}LOUD SNORING
803
00:38:35,965 --> 00:38:38,085
{\an2}SAM'S VOICE: Hello, child.
804
00:38:38,125 --> 00:38:41,125
{\an2}Listen here, all you have to do
is say that this is
805
00:38:41,165 --> 00:38:43,165
{\an2}the most convincing sleeper.
806
00:38:43,205 --> 00:38:44,325
{\an2}Seriously.
807
00:38:44,365 --> 00:38:47,045
{\an2}Say the yellow one. The yellow bed.
808
00:38:47,085 --> 00:38:50,285
{\an2}I'm going to get the production
company to contact your parents.
809
00:38:50,325 --> 00:38:52,485
{\an2}I will give you £100.
LAUGHTER
810
00:38:52,525 --> 00:38:54,365
{\an2}I'm going to figure out
how to get it you,
811
00:38:54,405 --> 00:38:57,005
{\an2}£100 if you say that I'm
the most convincing sleeper.
812
00:38:57,045 --> 00:38:58,565
{\an2}Thank you, child.
813
00:39:00,445 --> 00:39:01,685
{\an1}LAUGHTER
814
00:39:01,725 --> 00:39:04,885
{\an2}So, the question is, who was
the most convincing sleeper?
815
00:39:07,645 --> 00:39:09,765
{\an1}SHE GIGGLES
816
00:39:09,805 --> 00:39:12,285
{\an2}Will Sam actually give me £100?
817
00:39:12,325 --> 00:39:13,845
{\an1}LAUGHTER
818
00:39:18,085 --> 00:39:20,685
{\an2}I do want £100.
819
00:39:21,885 --> 00:39:23,605
{\an1}SHE GIGGLES
820
00:39:23,645 --> 00:39:26,965
{\an2}Final answer,
who do you think was asleep?
821
00:39:27,005 --> 00:39:31,485
{\an2}I don't think Sam was awake.
822
00:39:32,885 --> 00:39:34,645
{\an2}Or Susan.
823
00:39:34,685 --> 00:39:36,805
{\an2}If you can't decide
between Sam and Susan,
824
00:39:36,845 --> 00:39:38,325
{\an2}then that's absolutely fine.
825
00:39:38,365 --> 00:39:40,445
{\an2}If you think they're both asleep.
826
00:39:40,485 --> 00:39:43,325
{\an2}Do you think he would
actually give me £100?
827
00:39:46,565 --> 00:39:49,765
{\an2}Susan and Sam.
828
00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:53,845
{\an2}Flossy, thank you very much
for looking at these five people.
829
00:39:53,885 --> 00:39:55,685
{\an1}APPLAUSE
830
00:40:00,365 --> 00:40:02,765
{\an2}Hey, listen all,
all's fair in love and war.
831
00:40:02,805 --> 00:40:05,165
{\an2}You know, and those were
the two that she chose.
832
00:40:05,205 --> 00:40:07,925
{\an2}I think the least-convincing
sleeper,
833
00:40:07,965 --> 00:40:10,005
{\an2}I feel like I've picked
on you a bit, Lucy,
834
00:40:10,045 --> 00:40:11,565
{\an2}but you just were.
835
00:40:11,605 --> 00:40:12,805
{\an1}LAUGHTER
836
00:40:12,845 --> 00:40:15,045
{\an2}Yeah, I was. 1 point to Lucy.
Got it.
837
00:40:15,085 --> 00:40:20,685
{\an2}I think Julian was more convincing
than the rotisserie madness,
838
00:40:20,725 --> 00:40:22,845
{\an2}so I'm going to give Sue 2 points...
839
00:40:22,885 --> 00:40:24,725
{\an2}OK. ..and Julian 3 points.
840
00:40:24,765 --> 00:40:28,885
{\an2}And then, the people that fooled
Flossy, by hook or crook,
841
00:40:28,925 --> 00:40:32,045
{\an2}both gain 5 points are
Sam and Susan!
842
00:40:32,085 --> 00:40:34,845
{\an1}APPLAUSE
843
00:40:34,885 --> 00:40:38,125
{\an2}It's a three-way tie at the top
between Julian, Sam, and Susan,
844
00:40:38,165 --> 00:40:40,245
{\an2}all on 12 points! Whoa!
845
00:40:40,285 --> 00:40:42,325
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
846
00:40:42,365 --> 00:40:44,965
{\an2}OK, it's time to make your way
to the stage for
847
00:40:45,005 --> 00:40:46,885
{\an2}the final task of the show!
848
00:40:50,565 --> 00:40:54,325
{\an1}APPLAUSE
849
00:40:54,365 --> 00:40:55,965
{\an2}Who's going to read the task out?
850
00:40:56,005 --> 00:40:57,605
{\an2}Julian Clary, please.
851
00:40:59,685 --> 00:41:01,765
{\an2}"Mime the proverb on your card.
852
00:41:01,805 --> 00:41:04,445
{\an2}"There will be three
minute-long rounds.
853
00:41:04,485 --> 00:41:07,805
{\an2}"You must be waving at each other
throughout your attempt.
854
00:41:07,845 --> 00:41:12,245
{\an2}"But you can make a single noise
of the Taskmaster's choosing."
855
00:41:12,285 --> 00:41:14,565
{\an2}So, this is a team task.
856
00:41:14,605 --> 00:41:16,605
{\an2}The waving bit's going to be
really annoying.
857
00:41:16,645 --> 00:41:19,125
{\an2}While miming, you have to
wave to each other.
858
00:41:19,165 --> 00:41:21,005
{\an2}Any questions? Yes, Sam.
859
00:41:21,045 --> 00:41:22,925
{\an2}Oh, I'm just practising.
Yeah, OK.
860
00:41:22,965 --> 00:41:24,925
{\an1}LAUGHTER
861
00:41:24,965 --> 00:41:26,965
{\an1}APPLAUSE
862
00:41:27,005 --> 00:41:29,725
{\an2}So, first of all, Sam,
you're going to miming the proverbs
863
00:41:29,765 --> 00:41:32,765
{\an2}to these two people here on your
team, Lucy and Julian.
864
00:41:32,805 --> 00:41:34,445
{\an2}But you cannot pass.
865
00:41:34,485 --> 00:41:36,605
{\an2}And in Round One,
what noise can they make?
866
00:41:36,645 --> 00:41:38,765
{\an2}I'd like Sam to make the noise...
867
00:41:38,805 --> 00:41:41,125
{\an2}..of a steam train.
868
00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:43,765
{\an2}So, start waving and
start miming on the whistle.
869
00:41:43,805 --> 00:41:44,805
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
870
00:41:46,845 --> 00:41:49,805
{\an2}Waving, Sam, waving Sam, waving.
871
00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:54,165
{\an2}Don't count your chickens
before they hatch?
872
00:41:54,205 --> 00:41:55,565
{\an2}Correct!
873
00:41:55,605 --> 00:41:57,965
{\an1}APPLAUSE
874
00:41:58,005 --> 00:41:59,765
{\an2}And serving...
875
00:41:59,805 --> 00:42:01,205
{\an2}A watched pot?
876
00:42:01,245 --> 00:42:03,885
{\an2}You're welcome to use the steam
train. ..Kettle....
877
00:42:03,925 --> 00:42:06,005
{\an1}HE MIMICS TRAIN
878
00:42:07,605 --> 00:42:09,365
{\an2}Er, too many cooks?
879
00:42:09,405 --> 00:42:11,005
{\an2}Spoil the broth. Correct!
880
00:42:11,045 --> 00:42:13,045
{\an2}Correct!
WHISTLE BLOWS
881
00:42:13,085 --> 00:42:17,685
{\an2}You must stop there,
you scored 2 points, 2 points.
882
00:42:17,725 --> 00:42:20,805
{\an2}So, Susan to mime to Sue.
What noise can Susan make?
883
00:42:20,845 --> 00:42:22,405
{\an2}A clip-clopping horse.
884
00:42:23,685 --> 00:42:25,925
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
885
00:42:25,965 --> 00:42:28,525
{\an2}Drawing, painting, victory.
886
00:42:28,565 --> 00:42:30,605
{\an2}Go to right, throws a ball.
887
00:42:30,645 --> 00:42:32,565
{\an2}Erm, er, I'm strong. The strongest.
888
00:42:32,605 --> 00:42:34,845
{\an2}Fastest, jousting, fighting.
889
00:42:34,885 --> 00:42:36,925
{\an2}The sword is mightier than
the pen. Yeah!
890
00:42:36,965 --> 00:42:39,885
{\an2}No, no. The pen is mightier than
the sword! Correct, yes!
891
00:42:39,925 --> 00:42:41,685
{\an1}MAKES CLIP-CLOPPING SOUNDS
892
00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:43,485
{\an2}Erm, one more town.
893
00:42:43,525 --> 00:42:46,405
{\an2}Erm, don't, er, don't look
a gift horse in the mouth.
894
00:42:46,445 --> 00:42:47,685
{\an2}Yeah! Correct!
895
00:42:50,165 --> 00:42:52,245
{\an2}Er, you've...
896
00:42:52,285 --> 00:42:53,765
{\an2}Every poo has a silver lining.
897
00:42:53,805 --> 00:42:54,925
{\an1}LAUGHTER
898
00:42:54,965 --> 00:42:57,525
{\an2}Goose's eggs, eggs,
look at the, the basket.
899
00:42:57,565 --> 00:42:59,845
{\an2}Basket, don't count your eggs
in your basket!
900
00:42:59,885 --> 00:43:01,725
{\an2}Don't put all your eggs
in one basket!
901
00:43:01,765 --> 00:43:03,285
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
902
00:43:06,485 --> 00:43:09,045
{\an2}Wow, I can't believe
the mighty horse was useful.
903
00:43:09,085 --> 00:43:10,325
{\an1}LAUGHTER
904
00:43:10,365 --> 00:43:11,805
{\an2}The team of two win Round One.
905
00:43:11,845 --> 00:43:13,445
{\an2}There is two rounds to go though.
906
00:43:13,485 --> 00:43:15,725
{\an2}Sue, you are going to Susan
this time. OK, er...
907
00:43:15,765 --> 00:43:17,605
{\an2}What noise would you like
Sue to make?
908
00:43:17,645 --> 00:43:19,325
{\an2}I was thinking a sort of auctioneer.
909
00:43:19,365 --> 00:43:22,325
{\an2}Sort of...
IMITATES AUCTIONEER
910
00:43:22,365 --> 00:43:23,965
{\an1}LAUGHTER
911
00:43:25,525 --> 00:43:27,805
{\an2}Team of two get ready to wave
and mime, go.
912
00:43:27,845 --> 00:43:29,365
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
913
00:43:29,405 --> 00:43:31,325
{\an2}A pony, stroke the horse.
914
00:43:33,165 --> 00:43:35,565
{\an2}Scratch the horse. Don't scr...
915
00:43:35,605 --> 00:43:36,845
{\an2}Oh, my God.
916
00:43:36,885 --> 00:43:38,645
{\an1}LAUGHTER
917
00:43:38,685 --> 00:43:40,565
{\an1}IMITATES AUCTIONEER
918
00:43:46,525 --> 00:43:48,765
{\an2}Ooh! Hmm...
919
00:43:51,885 --> 00:43:53,445
{\an2}Oh, what?
920
00:43:53,485 --> 00:43:55,165
{\an2}MEOW!
921
00:43:57,605 --> 00:43:59,405
{\an2}Meow!
922
00:43:59,445 --> 00:44:01,725
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
And that's the end of the round.
923
00:44:03,245 --> 00:44:05,165
{\an2}Yeah, it was curiosity
killed the cat.
924
00:44:05,205 --> 00:44:06,765
{\an1}GREG LAUGHS
925
00:44:08,245 --> 00:44:11,565
{\an2}What sound is Lucy allowed to make?
I would like Lucy to make the sound
926
00:44:11,605 --> 00:44:13,805
{\an2}of someone falling off a mountain.
927
00:44:13,845 --> 00:44:15,405
{\an2}Ahh.
928
00:44:15,445 --> 00:44:17,645
{\an2}They need one to win this round.
929
00:44:17,685 --> 00:44:19,285
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
930
00:44:19,325 --> 00:44:20,565
{\an2}Money.
931
00:44:21,925 --> 00:44:23,325
{\an2}Money...
932
00:44:23,365 --> 00:44:25,965
{\an2}Wave, wave, waving, Lucy.
..doesn't...
933
00:44:26,005 --> 00:44:28,125
{\an2}Waving, Lucy. ..grow on trees.
934
00:44:28,165 --> 00:44:30,245
{\an2}Correct!
That's the end of Round Two.
935
00:44:30,285 --> 00:44:32,565
{\an2}Money doesn't grow on trees.
936
00:44:32,605 --> 00:44:34,165
{\an2}It's 1-1. One round to go.
937
00:44:34,205 --> 00:44:37,005
{\an2}What noise is available to Julian?
938
00:44:37,045 --> 00:44:39,005
{\an2}The mighty bong of Big Ben.
939
00:44:39,045 --> 00:44:40,365
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
940
00:44:40,405 --> 00:44:41,885
{\an2}Bong!
941
00:44:43,405 --> 00:44:44,645
{\an2}Waving, Julian.
942
00:44:44,685 --> 00:44:46,325
{\an2}We're talking five words.
943
00:44:46,365 --> 00:44:48,285
{\an2}Five words. First word...
944
00:44:48,325 --> 00:44:49,965
{\an2}Waving, Julian. Slip.
945
00:44:50,005 --> 00:44:51,605
{\an2}Fourth word...
946
00:44:51,645 --> 00:44:53,165
{\an2}Drink. Drink.
947
00:44:53,205 --> 00:44:55,245
{\an2}Erm, water, it's great.
948
00:44:55,285 --> 00:44:56,845
{\an2}Oh, it's something with water?
949
00:44:56,885 --> 00:44:58,845
{\an2}Erm, blood is thicker than water!
950
00:44:58,885 --> 00:45:01,365
{\an2}Correct!Wow!
APPLAUSE
951
00:45:01,405 --> 00:45:03,605
{\an2}Eight seconds, Julian,
eight seconds.
952
00:45:03,645 --> 00:45:04,885
{\an2}Look...
953
00:45:07,325 --> 00:45:09,245
{\an2}Look before you jump.
Look before you leap!
954
00:45:09,285 --> 00:45:10,765
{\an2}It was on the buzzer, and he did it!
955
00:45:10,805 --> 00:45:12,685
{\an2}Yeah, I think you got it
on the buzzer, yeah.
956
00:45:12,725 --> 00:45:14,645
{\an2}It's been given. Two to beat.
957
00:45:14,685 --> 00:45:17,605
{\an2}You've gotta get three, Susan,
you've gotta get three to win.
958
00:45:17,645 --> 00:45:19,685
{\an2}What sound can Susan make,
if she chooses?
959
00:45:19,725 --> 00:45:22,885
{\an2}Oh, yeah, the sound.
If you want to, a haunting whistle.
960
00:45:22,925 --> 00:45:24,605
{\an2}Hello. Er, laughing.
961
00:45:24,645 --> 00:45:26,845
{\an2}Laughter's the best medicine.
Correct.
962
00:45:26,885 --> 00:45:28,925
{\an2}Ohh!
APPLAUSE
963
00:45:30,325 --> 00:45:32,645
{\an2}No, crying. Er, don't cry
over spilt milk.
964
00:45:32,685 --> 00:45:33,925
{\an2}Correct!
965
00:45:33,965 --> 00:45:36,125
{\an1}APPLAUSE
966
00:45:36,165 --> 00:45:39,445
{\an2}Er, sunshine, pick the fruit,
er, er...
967
00:45:39,485 --> 00:45:40,645
{\an2}..dropping fruit.
968
00:45:40,685 --> 00:45:43,445
{\an2}Erm, orchard, trees.
I've got the fruit, apples.
969
00:45:43,485 --> 00:45:46,325
{\an2}Apple tree.
I've fallen over the apple tree.
970
00:45:46,365 --> 00:45:48,165
{\an2}Apple falls.
971
00:45:48,205 --> 00:45:50,245
{\an2}The apple doesn't fall
far from the tree!
972
00:45:50,285 --> 00:45:52,325
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
CHEERING
973
00:45:55,725 --> 00:45:58,725
{\an2}Uh, we'll add that to the final
scores. Come down and join me!
974
00:45:58,765 --> 00:46:00,725
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
975
00:46:07,045 --> 00:46:10,045
{\an2}Who'd have thought that would end
in such a high-octane way?
976
00:46:10,085 --> 00:46:11,925
{\an2}It was an adrenaline rush.
977
00:46:11,965 --> 00:46:14,765
{\an2}The team of three
obviously came second.
978
00:46:14,805 --> 00:46:16,365
{\an2}The team of two, first.
979
00:46:16,405 --> 00:46:19,165
{\an2}The team of three got five right,
they got six right altogether.
980
00:46:19,205 --> 00:46:21,845
{\an2}5 points. Team of two, of course...
Team of two. Yeah.
981
00:46:21,885 --> 00:46:24,325
{\an2}What should I give the others?
982
00:46:24,365 --> 00:46:25,525
{\an2}3 feels fair.
983
00:46:25,565 --> 00:46:27,405
{\an2}OK, so it's 3 points to
the team of three,
984
00:46:27,445 --> 00:46:28,925
{\an2}5 points to the team of two!
985
00:46:28,965 --> 00:46:31,525
{\an1}APPLAUSE
986
00:46:31,565 --> 00:46:36,245
{\an2}It means, at the end of the episode,
Lucy, you come last with 7 points.
987
00:46:36,285 --> 00:46:39,565
{\an2}Sue, 11. Sam, 15. Julian, also 15.
Susan, also -
988
00:46:39,605 --> 00:46:42,045
{\an2}no, she's won the episode
with 17 points!
989
00:46:42,085 --> 00:46:44,885
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
990
00:46:44,925 --> 00:46:47,845
{\an2}Whoa! Susan Wokoma wins!
991
00:46:47,885 --> 00:46:52,005
{\an2}Please go and pick up
your drum roll-worthy prizes!
992
00:46:52,045 --> 00:46:54,765
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
993
00:46:56,045 --> 00:47:00,005
{\an2}Tonight, everyone's talking about
the winner - it's Susan Wokoma!
994
00:47:23,485 --> 00:47:27,005
{\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media