["Dumb Blonde" by Dolly Parton plays]
♪ Don't try to cry ♪
♪ Your way out of this ♪
♪ Don't try to lie ♪
♪ Or I'll catch you in it... ♪
[Willowdean] I learned about most things from my Aunt Lucy.
She taught me how to spell my name,
W-I-L-L-O-WD-E-A-N.
Willowdean.
She also taught me how to like a name like that.
♪ When you left, you thought I'd sit ♪
♪ And you thought I'd wait And you thought I'd cry ♪
- ♪ You called me a dumb blonde ♪ - ♪ Dumb blonde ♪
♪ Ah, but somehow I lived through it ♪
♪ And you know if there's one thing This blonde has learned ♪
♪ Blondes have more fun ♪
[Willowdean] My mom being a bit of a celebrity around here
just meant she was too busy for me.
So my Aunt Lucy was the one who taught me how to say
"Yes, ma'am," and "No, sir,"
how to look people in the eye,
and how to find a keeper in a heap of junk.
But most of all,
my Aunt Lucy taught me about Dolly Parton.
♪ Just because I'm blonde Don't think I'm dumb ♪
♪ 'Cause this dumb blonde Ain't nobody's fool ♪
[boys speaking indistincly]
Oh, my God, do you see her? You are honestly a pig.
You're huge. [oinks]
Go on and git!
Pay them no mind, Willowdean.
The world is filled with people
that are gonna try to tell you who you are,
but that's for you to decide, you hear me?
[Willowdean] My Aunt Lucy had a way with words.
She always seemed to know exactly what to say to me.
[Lucy] As Dolly would say herself,
"It's hard being a diamond in a rhinestone world."
Now let's go get ready.
[Willowdean] We always had the best Dolly parties.
My mom never came to those 'cause...
I don't think she really understood them or us, really.
It's funny how you can look at the same things
[doorbell rings] over and over again a certain way
until something unexpected suddenly changes how you see everything.
Hi. So good to see you.
- Oh, hi. - [Lucy] Oh.
Willowdean, this is Ellen and this is her mom.
[Ellen's mom] Go on, honey.
[Willowdean] When I look back,
I think my Aunt Lucy knew exactly what she was doing
the day Ellen Dryver showed up at our door.
[laughing]
[gasps]
[laughing]
Elle and I once wrote Dolly Parton a thank you letter
for giving us each other.
She wrote back.
"The greatest friends have nothing and everything in common all at once.
Sounds like you two girls are different versions of the same story.
Love, Dolly."
♪ Just because I'm blonde Don't think I'm dumb ♪
♪ 'Cause this dumb blonde Ain't nobody's fool ♪
♪ When you left, you thought I'd sit ♪
♪ And you thought I'd wait And you thought I'd cry ♪
♪ You called me a dumb blonde ♪
[girl] Come on, girls, keep up. We gotta get pageant-ready.
[Ellen and Willowdean] They're back.
♪ And you know if there's one thing This blonde has learned ♪
♪ Blondes have more fun ♪
♪ You flew too high ♪
♪ Up off the ground ♪
Sometimes I think my Aunt Lucy gave me Dolly and Elle
to get through the one thing she couldn't teach me herself:
how to live in this world without her.
I guess as Dolly would say, "If you want the rainbow,
you have to put up with the rain."
[boy] Whale watch!
Okay. That Patrick Thomas is ten pounds of stupid in a five-pound bag.
[boy laughs menacingly]
Boy needs a swift kick in the pants.
[Willowdean] Remember when summer days felt like they would just go on forever?
[Ellen] Mmm, yeah, and...
Lucy would bring us here and blast Dolly on her boombox,
and buy us cherry-lime snow cones.
But only on Mondays...
[both] 'Cause Fridays didn't deserve all the attention.
I don't know how I'm gonna survive my mom's pageant season without her.
She already started her diet.
Already?
[imitating her mother] "My pilates just ain't cutting it, Dumplin'.
I gotta zip up that dress come October. It's tradition."
Ugh, my life with the ex-beauty queen.
Our fridge has been reduced to bunny food and condiments.
[boy] Whale!
- [girl gasps] - [boy] Oh.
[boy] Whoops.
[laughs]
I have to confess something or I think I might go straight to hell.
Whenever I see Millie Mitchellchuck, I think, "I'm fat,
but at least I'm not clueless."
Oh, I don't know.
She always seems happy.
[laughing]
Yeah, she does.
Hey!
Get back here!
- [Ellen laughs] - Come back here!
[Callie] Elle Belle!
- Elle Belle! - [Ellen] Hun!
Hi.
[Ellen] Hi.
[Callie squeals with excitement]
Um...
Will...
you remember Callie who works with me at Sweet 16?
- Hey. - Hi. It's nice to see you.
[Ellen] Um, Callie is doing the pageant this year.
Will's mom is the pageant director.
She was Miss Teen Bluebonnet in 1991.
Rosie Dickson's your mom? Really?
Far as I know.
Hey, maybe sometime Elle Belle and I could come over
and I could ask your mom some questions about the pageant.
You know, just casually.
Well, unfortunately, my mom's not home all that much.
She's either at pageant meetings or at the nursing home
wiping old peoples' butts.
It's what happens to a lot of ex-beauty queens.
[Ellen laughs awkwardly]
[all laugh awkwardly]
Okay.
- Um, see y'all later? - Okay.
- Bye. - Bye. Say hi to Morgan.
Okay, what was that all about? She's harmless.
[teasing] If you say so, Elle Belle.
- Hey, Tim. - Hey, Will.
Bye, Tim.
- Bye, Will. - [engine turns over]
And for today's grand prize...
name the billboard hit that features the sound of a typewriter
off the Odd Jobs album.
"9 to 5"?
We have a winner.
♪ Tumble out of bed And stumble to the kitchen ♪
♪ Pour myself a cup of ambition ♪
♪ And yawn and stretch And try to come to life ♪
Come here.
♪ Jump in the shower And the blood starts pumpin' ♪
♪ Out on the street And the traffic starts jumpin' ♪
♪ With folks like me on the job From 9 to 5 ♪
♪ Working 9 to 5 ♪
♪ What a way to make a living ♪
♪ Barely gettin' by ♪
♪ It's all taking and no giving ♪
♪ They just use your mind ♪
♪ And they never give you credit ♪
♪ It's enough to drive you ♪
♪ Crazy if you let it ♪
♪ 9 to 5 ♪
♪ For service and devotion ♪
♪ You would think that I ♪
♪ Would deserve a fair promotion ♪
♪ Want to move ahead ♪
♪ But the boss won't seem to let me ♪
[buzzes]
♪ I swear sometimes That man is out to get me ♪
[buzzes]
[sighs]
[buzzes rapidly]
Heard you the first three times.
Willowdean.
Mmm.
Hi, Bo.
[sizzling]
- Hey, Marcus. - Hey, what's up, Will.
[woman] Excuse me. Hello.
Why does table seven look angry?
Oh, I forgot to put their order in again. But it's three combos, give me one sec--
It's okay, I got it. Just make three chocolate shakes stat.
Thank you, Will.
Bo?
How fast can you whip up three combos?
Time me.
[clanging]
We have a winner.
We just had our end of summer drawing, and it's lucky table seven.
Y'all just won free shakes with your combos
and your meal's on the house.
Looks like it's gonna be a dessert-first kind of day,
'cause Fridays don't deserve all the attention.
- [woman] All right now. - Your combos will be right up.
[cheering]
Come on! Let's hear it for the winners!
You're a genius.
I did say "hold the salmonella," right?
Hopefully our winners make it out alive.
[country music plays faintly over radio]
[keys jangle]
[sighs in disgust]
[Rosie] Dumplin'.
Dumplin'.
Mom! That name.
[Rosie] Honey.
Unh-unh. Unh-unh.
I can't be late, Dumplin'.
I am the guest of honor,
so will you please go upstairs
and put on that floral dress that I got you for Mimi's wedding?
[groans] And can we run a brush through that hair?
A well-styled head of hair...
Is a head above the rest. I know.
The thing is, I kind of forgot about tonight.
I already made plans with Elle.
We made a deal.
This cannot exactly drive itself.
Okay?
Bring Elle. She'll love it.
Do I have any holes back here?
Oh.
Baby?
You got a little breakout there on your forehead.
You're not eating that greasy stuff over at Harpy's, right?
Mom, you know I don't even like burgers and hotdogs.
Yeah, but...
You've got a hole on your left by the way.
What?
All right. Will you please tell Elle that she's got to be ready in ten?
She doesn't listen to me.
That's fine.
I know. Close enough.
Yeah.
[gasps] Dumplin'.
The other side.
- [Willowdean] Whoops. - [Rosie] Oh!
- Okay, darlin', just grab my ankles. - Uh-huh.
- Okay. - Okay. Mm-hmm.
Good. Okay.
Oh, God.
- [Rosie] Okay? - [Ellen] Okay.
- Here. - All right. I got it.
- Okay. - All right.
Did I hit my...
Okay.
Thank you, Ellen.
- You're welcome. - I'm sorry.
- Will you hold that, please, for a second? - Mm-hmm.
[exhales]
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you.
Wow, you really just parked...
Well, there are no spots.
[Rosie] I mean, my gosh...
- [man] Runner up: Miss Coolie Simmons. - [Rosie gasps]
Oh, my gosh, it's starting already.
Oh.
[applause]
[sighs]
I just...
I just wish they all could win.
They work so hard.
Yes. Walking is so, so hard.
[applause]
Miss Teen Bluebonnet.
Oh, Miss Teen Sweetwater!
Oh, my Lord, look at you.
- You haven't aged a minute. - Oh, it's the backstage lighting.
Thank you so much for making the trip.
Oh, please. I would've driven a million miles to support those girls.
It's just such a nice treat to have a special guest.
That audience is plum tired of seeing my face out there.
[Rosie and Delia laugh]
Really, trust me.
My, it looks like the Miss America pageant out there.
Thank you.
Those backdrops really give our social media a nice pop.
- Social media? - Yeah. Hashtag pop.
Oh!
Hoping to give you Bluebonnets a run for your money this year
in that Best Pageant award. Look out!
Oh, well. Best keep an eye on those hemlines then.
- 'Cause they're looking a little short. - Well.
[Rosie chuckles]
This must be your daughter.
Oh, no. That's Ellen, my daughter's best friend.
This is my daughter, Willowdean.
Wow. Okay.
So nice to meet you both.
- So great meeting you too. - Both of you.
- Nice to meet you. - [man] And now your host...
- Delia Shepherd. - Okay, gotta go.
Okay. Have fun.
- [applause] - So exciting.
[cheering and whistling]
Good evening.
- It is my special duty... - Oh.
...to introduce a very special guest tonight.
To crown this year's Miss Teen Sweetwater,
my fellow former, and the director of the Bluebonnet pageant,
ten-time recipient of the best Texas pageant award,
please welcome Clover City's Miss Teen 1991,
Miss Rosie Dickson.
[cheers and applause]
[Rosie] Well...
Thank you, Miss Delia.
And girls, might I just say,
y'all look stunning tonight.
- [applause] - It is my honor to introduce you
to your new Miss Teen Sweetwater...
Miss Darlene Williams.
[cheers and applause]
Come on, girl.
Beautiful!
[inaudible]
[applause]
[Rosie] I mean, she's just so stunning!
[Eugene] Clover City's KQRK, I'm Eugene Reed,
your host of all the hits, reminding listeners to sign up
for the 85th annual Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
It's just around the corner.
[men laughing]
[people chatting in the distance]
Come on in. I'll cook you a burger or something.
- Gotta roll. - Good to see you.
- All right. - Good to see you. Have a good one.
[girl] Bye, Bo.
[horn honks]
Hey, where are you going?
Hi.
So...
Those are your rich prep school friends, hey?
Y'all are so lucky you have two more weeks left of summer.
You know, not everyone who goes to Holy Cross is rich.
No, I didn't mean it like that. I just...
You know, like, rich or poor,
we all have to deal with the same "prepare for the future" thing.
Like...
Kind of like we're supposed to have some big plan mapped out,
when most of the adults in this town
don't even know what they want to be when they grow up, so...
[dumpster door closes]
If only they had a Magic 8-Ball.
[Willowdean] Hmm.
Thanks, by the way.
Weirdly, I...
always wanted one of these.
[chuckles]
[Bo sighs]
[Bo] Did we poison table seven yesterday?
[both laugh]
Well, I guess we'd better send flowers.
Come on.
Better get back to work.
[tape creaking]
[gasps] Oh, my stars.
You scared me.
[Rosie sighs]
[Willowdean] That was one of Lucy's favorite dresses.
Dumplin', I don't want to talk about this right now.
We agreed that we would do this before the end of summer.
Mom, she's been gone six months.
When can we talk about her?
What are you planning on doing with everything?
Well, I don't-- I mean...
I guess we'll donate most of it.
She was such a pack rat.
[sighs] We've just got to make room.
Room for what?
Without Lucy's extra income, I am gonna have to start doing alterations
so that we can make ends meet.
You mean alterations for the pageant?
Yes, Willowdean.
For the pageant.
Yeah, well,
I want to look through everything before it gets donated.
Yes, ma'am.
Will, come on.
Aren't you ready?
I don't want to be late. It's our first day of school.
[scoffs] You're still asleep?
Are you threatening to move out?
[Willowdean sighs]
My mom's packing up Lucy's room.
Mmm. Well, you should keep as much of it as you want.
I really want to find that bee brooch of hers. I loved that.
Yeah, reminds me of her, too.
You know, that little bit of flair she always had.
Hmm.
When'd you get this?
[sighs]
Prep school Bo gave it to me.
You know that means he likes you, right?
He does not.
He's... nice to everybody. He just...
- I don't know, he's just like that. - Mm-hmm.
So he gave everybody one of these?
Okay, Will. Um...
Boys don't give girls sweet little presents
unless they're trying to get their attention. That's a fact.
Elle...
boys like Bo don't date girls like me.
That's a fact.
Look, he just wants to be friends
so he can ask me questions about girls he actually likes.
Is that true?
Mmm.
"My sources say no." Told you.
Look, I can't be late.
I'll meet you there.
[Rosie] Dumplin', you're gonna be late.
Well, Sweetwater is working hard to keep up with the times.
Which is a fool's errand if you ask me.
[woman] I know, but it is worth it.
Mm-hmm.
- [woman on phone continues indistinctly] - Mm-hmm.
Oh, hold on a sec.
Honey, I made extra.
It's okay. I'm just gonna take a banana so I'm not late.
Why...
- All right, have a great first day. - Thanks.
[door opens]
[sighs]
- Anyway, all's I was saying is... - [door closes]
these city pageants are just getting more and more generic every year.
- [car engine splutters] - I mean, there's nothing Texas about 'em.
It's like they just popped up out of nowhere.
[woman] Yeah, I agree. But the thing is, if we talk to her,
she might be able to get us a few extra decorations.
- Oh, Lord. - [car engine spluttering]
- I'm gonna have to call you back. - All right.
[groans]
[Rosie] Well, I don't care how popular she is.
We are not doing a Beyoncé song for the opening number.
Our bylaws strictly outline the lyrics and music deemed appropriate.
It is my job to uphold those guidelines...
- [woman] Uh-huh. - ...however unpopular it makes me.
- I agree. - Okay, hold on one second.
All right, honey, I'm gonna call Joe's Garage,
get your car towed, and we'll find out what's wrong, okay?
Thank you.
[Rosie] I don't wanna hear the name Beyoncé anymore.
So, anyway... Oh, Dumplin'!
[boy] No way!
[Rosie] Dumplin'!
[boy] Yeah, Dumplin'.
Forgot your phone.
[girl] Dumplin'?
[all laughing]
Well, you're welcome.
So sorry.
[girl] What does that even mean?
[boy] Call me little dumplin'.
- [kids laughing] - What just happened?
My mom just happened.
[school bell rings]
Oh, God. Everybody heard. It was so embarrassing, Elle.
Here comes Dumplin'!
Just ignore him, he's an idiot.
- Oh, dude, it's Millie. - Whoops!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Guess they need to widen the hallways.
[boys laugh]
[Ellen] Millie, you okay?
- [boy grunts] - [kids gasp]
[boy groans]
Good aim.
[grunts, whimpers]
[Rosie] Suspended because of indecent violence?
I've never heard of such a thing. What is wrong with you?
- Me? It's your fault. - My fault?
I was just defending myself against a bully
who was calling me that hideous nickname you've been calling me my whole life.
- He deserved it. - Have a lovely day, Miss Dickson.
Why, you, too, Miss Hall.
Listen to me, young lady.
Why are you getting all sensitive about a silly little nickname?
Mom, we know this is about so much more than just a nickname.
You'll never come out and say it,
but I know you can't stand that your daughter looks like this.
- What? - Like a round little dumpling.
Oh, that is not true.
- Oh, please. I don't fit in your world. - That is not true.
- I get it. - Listen, I just want you
to have opportunities, all right?
It is harder for big girls.
I was one, I know.
Okay? Luce and I both were.
- You know that. - Yeah, I've heard the story
about how you lost the weight the summer before high school and Lucy didn't,
and you went on to win the Miss Teen pageant,
quite literally your last crowning achievement.
Watch your tone with me, young lady. I am still your mother.
For the record,
we both know who raised me,
and she never once made me feel bad about myself.
I really wish you didn't idolize her so much.
If she took better care of herself, she'd probably still be here.
You were always so focused on her weight.
You never even really got to know who she was.
Do you even miss her?
Forget it. I'm walking home.
Well, I am sorry
that I didn't get to go to all your Dolly Parton parties
because I had to go to work to put a roof over your head,
because that's what mothers do.
["Here I Am" by Dolly Parton plays]
♪ If you need a helping hand ♪
♪ Need someone to understand ♪
♪ Oh, here I am ♪
♪ Here I am ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ My world is such an empty place ♪
♪ I need someone to fill the space ♪
♪ Here I am ♪
- ♪ Here I am ♪ - ♪ Oh, here I am ♪
♪ Here I am ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
[whispering] What?
♪ Here I am ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
[Ellen] Will.
Up here.
I can't believe you got suspended on the first day of school,
you overachiever.
Brought your homework.
What're you doing?
Look at this.
Lucy never said a word.
Looks like she thought about doing the pageant,
but she obviously didn't feel welcome
with people like my mom lording over it with their measuring tape.
I know that look.
What's going on?
I think I'm gonna sign up for the pageant and do what Lucy never could.
I wanna march right in there on sign-up day
just to see the look on my mom's face.
She's always been embarrassed by me. Now she'll have good reason.
[Ellen] Hmm.
Kind of like a protest in heels?
Exactly.
Like a protest in heels.
How does your mom walk in these torture devices?
I don't think she does.
- Oh, yeah. - Is that Rosie Dickson's daughter?
[girl] What's she doing here?
[girl scoffs] Oh, my goodness.
[gasping]
[woman] Oh, my.
That's brave.
[Willowdean] Thanks.
- [woman] Well, I'll be. - [door opens]
[door closes]
[Millie giggling]
Hey, y'all.
If you're signing up, I am too.
Uh, what? No.
No, I'm not the Joan of Arc of fat girls, okay?
This is a bad idea. Go home.
All my favorite things start off as bad ideas.
Millie, no.
Remember? We're here for Lucy.
Fine. Do what you want, just don't crowd me.
You're missing a parent's signature, darlin'.
You can't participate without a parent's signature.
Willowdean Opal.
Thank you.
Are you trying to get back at me for something?
[sighs] Why do you assume the only reason I'd sign up for the pageant
is to get revenge?
I'm Rosie Dickson's daughter, it runs in my blood.
Besides, as far as I'm concerned,
a swimsuit body is a body with a swimsuit on it.
[inhales, exhales]
I will not...
have you make a mockery
of me or this institution,
which has been a cornerstone of our community--
Since 1933. I know.
I could probably recite your bylaws by now, I've heard 'em so many times.
[girls murmuring]
You know you can't enter unless I sign that form.
- Mom? - Mm-hmm?
If you don't sign that form, you're saying I'm not good enough.
You're saying that every girl in this room is more deserving than me
because I'm not built like them.
That I don't belong here.
Is that what you're saying?
Well...
[clears throat] What do you have planned for the-- for the talent event?
It's a surprise.
- [woman 1] Wow, okay. - [woman 2] All right, then.
[girls murmuring]
No special treatment.
- Wouldn't expect it. - Okay.
Pageants are harder than you think.
[girls murmuring]
[woman] I don't know.
[breathes heavily]
[whispering] Oh, my God.
Oh... my God.
[woman] Wow.
Did you see the color of her skirt?
[girls chattering]
- [slams down] - [gasps]
Yay! This is gonna be so much fun.
Totally fun.
The name's Hannah, glossy lady.
- [Millie giggles] - Why are you here?
[Rosie] Hello? Okay, ladies, please take your seats.
Whatever do you mean?
[Millie giggles]
And what's your story?
Hi there. And, mothers, thank you so much for coming.
We'll have your daughters back to you in just a jiffy, okay?
So, thank you.
Oh, my God. I am so excited that you're signing up.
Did you see that Bekah Colter?
She is our competition.
[Rosie] All right.
Well, I would like to welcome you
to the Clover City Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
The first beauty pageant
established in the great state of Texas.
Back in 1933.
[woman] Yes!
- [cheering] - Yeah!
Now, the next six weeks are gonna be a whirlwind.
Someone in this very room...
[Cally squeals]
...will be this year's Miss Teen Bluebonnet.
Wow. [laughs excitedly]
[Rosie] Very exciting. That could be you.
[cheering]
Do you think you're ready?
[all] Yes! [giggling]
Good luck, girls.
- [woman] Whoa. - [applause]
[cheering]
[Eugene] Your host of all the hits, reminding our listeners
that tickets go on sale today for our Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
Only five weeks away. Let's kick it off with this great hit.
♪ I know I'm not perfect ♪
♪ But nobody is ♪
♪ There's plenty more important... ♪
Millie?
- What are you doin'? - I thought Pageant Bootcamp
would be a nice way to get to know some of the girls.
I just have to blend in in case my mom drops by.
Blend in.
Why, Millie? Why?
'Cause I forged my mom's signature on my pageant application.
She thinks I joined Needlepoint Club.
Millie, it's gonna be near impossible
keeping your mom from finding out about this.
Well, I don't have a choice. When I asked her, she said no.
A church no, which means don't ask again.
So I just got to stay one step ahead of her.
[honking] Get off the road, fat ass!
You're fat, you're fat.
- Eat shit. - We'll pray for you.
Bye, Will.
[Millie] Hey, girls! Wait for me!
- Will. - Mm-hmm.
Okay, uh, Ron wants us to hang these up.
Oh, and, um, your friends are here at table six.
All right, hold on.
- [Willowdean] Those are not my friends. - For my talent, I'll strut on stage...
Well, maybe we can brainstorm some other ideas.
What are you guys doin' here?
Hey, Will. We were gonna see if you'd join our pageant meeting
when you take your break.
I made one for each of us.
I... really don't need one, thanks.
[bell dings]
Oh, uh, Will, could you grab that, please?
- Thank you. - [Millie] Thank you.
So as I was saying, for the talent portion we really have to play to our strength.
And some of my strengths are singing.
I'm a worship leader at church.
And I hula hoop, and I can tap dance.
If I do all that at the same time, that could be really neat.
Really. Like, no one's ever done that before, right?
So. Thank you.
As long as we play to our strengths and bring our showmanship,
we've got as good a chance to win this pageant as anyone else.
And a lot of pageant winners go on to do very important things,
- like Willowdean's mom. - Millie.
I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding.
We're not actually trying to win the pageant.
We're not?
Well, I'm not.
And I don't know what her deal is, but...
[Willowdean sighs] Look, it's...
It's a protest. We're trying to make a point.
- Count me in. - Well, what's our point?
[Hannah] It's a revolt against the oppressive heteropatriarchy,
unconsciously internalized by the female psyche.
- Oh. - In other words...
We're Spartacus...
and the pageant is the Roman Empire.
Anybody?
- Okay, okay. Hey. - Oh, no.
Every revolution starts small.
I don't want to revolt.
I've wanted to do this pageant since I was eight years old.
[Ellen] Okay, Millie, I think what everybody's trying to say
is that yes, we are still technically doing the pageant,
and it'll still be fun. It's just...
[Bo] Your drinks.
[Ellen] You know, I think you should pull back a bit.
Maybe a little bit more than a bit. Like... way back.
Okay, then.
Good meeting.
Oh.
And let me know when you're ready to take this thing down.
[Willowdean sighs]
Okay, Millie, you can show me your binder now,
but after that we have to put it away, okay?
Okay.
Well, I made yours yellow because you remind me of sunshine.
- Aw! - So, for your talent, I was thinking...
[Bo] Can I give you a hand with those?
- Here. - I got it.
Thank you.
Hey.
There's a, uh... small meteor shower tonight.
I don't know if you're into that sort of thing, but...
you know, could still be cool to see.
If you're interested.
Okay.
Sure.
Cool.
[sighs]
[whispers] What...
[dog barks in distance]
Hey.
Hi.
- You want me to come up there? - Yeah.
Okay.
Best seat in the house, right here.
- [Bo laughs] - Thanks.
It's a real pretty night.
Yeah.
- Can I ask you something? - Sure.
What's the deal with that, uh... photo?
Um... in your locker?
That girl-- uh, woman.
You don't know who Dolly Parton is?
Should I?
She's, like, one of the greatest singer-songwriters of all time.
She's kind of hard not to know.
Oh.
Okay.
Uh...
Why her?
My Aunt Lucy loved her.
I was probably singing Dolly before I could talk.
[inhales deeply]
There's just something amazing about her.
You know, she's in on every joke you could possibly tell about her,
and she's got this wicked sense of humor and...
And it's like she's always one step ahead, you know?
[Willowdean gasps]
Uh...
It's getting really late.
I... I got to get home.
Where...
Where are you go-- What did I do?
Nothing. I... I just... I got to get home.
Thanks for the meteor.
[woman on TV] Come through, ladies.
It's your time to shine.
- And down, two, three. - [Rosie panting]
Punch away those storms, you guys. The storms of life.
Breathe out. One, two, three.
[sighs]
[TV] And down.
[whispers] What?
[TV] Come on, ladies, now punch away those fears!
[sighs]
[TV] Really breathe out.
- Breathe. - [sighs]
[inhales deeply]
[exhales]
"Thanks for the meteor"?
So stupid!
[Eugene] Stay tuned at the top of the hour,
I'm giving away two tickets to the Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
Only four weeks to the big day and seats are selling fast.
[country music plays]
Why are we even going to this?
You're the one who got into a bullfight with your mom, remember?
Don't worry, we'll make it fun.
[turns volume down]
Okay, what's up?
[Willowdean sighs]
Bo kissed me last night.
What?!
- I told you! - Okay, okay.
- Save the confetti. It didn't end well. - [Ellen squeals]
- Why? - Well...
I mean, at first it was amazing,
and I just wanted to keep kissing him until my lips fell off.
But then he-- he touched this spot on my lower back and...
I just... I freaked.
And, all of a sudden, I was thinking,
like, why does this hot guy want to kiss me?
And then I started hating myself for being that girl--
Okay, all right. Hold up.
You know, I've had the same freaky feeling with Tim before.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
I mean, when he touches my stomach or a spot of acne on my chin,
I clam up like a psycho.
[Ellen sighs]
[Willowdean] Hmm.
[turns up volume]
♪ Who will do it? Who? ♪
♪ If we don't ♪
[door opens]
[music playing on speakers]
[Rosie] You're late.
[giggles]
Okay. Is everybody warmed-up? [turns off music]
- [girl 1] Yeah. - [girl 2] Sure.
Who memorized the steps from the link that I sent out?
Oh, a lot of you. Okay, very good.
[Millie giggles]
Bekah, why don't you come up and demonstrate.
And, um...
[mouthing]
Uh...
Ellen.
Why don't you come up here as well?
All right, let's take it from the dance break.
Hi.
And five, six, seven, eight.
[country music plays]
And hip, hip.
- Nice job! - [Bekah giggles]
- They look so good. - That was awesome.
Thank you.
- They look great! - [Rosie] Beautiful, girls.
- That was beautiful. - [Bekah and Ellen giggle]
All right, now, the difference between winning and losing,
it's all in those details.
All right? That will serve you well in life.
All right, you two. Uh, Ellen?
Why don't you stay up here, okay?
And the rest of us, let's try it.
[Bekah] Seven, eight.
[country music plays]
[Rosie] Chins up.
Okay, remember to smile. This is fun.
That's too sexy.
[girls laugh]
- Yes. - [girl] Nailed it.
- Elle, that was so cute! - You, too.
- [girl] We need to practice together. - Sounds great.
- I'm gonna go talk to Rosie. - Okay.
- Bye, Elle Belle. - See you at work.
- Miss Rosie. - [girl] Bye.
You ready to go?
- Nice moves. - I just watched the video once.
They're easy steps, what's the big deal?
The big deal is that you were prancing around
like the perfect little pageant girl when that is the opposite of our point.
Well, maybe there's a better way to making our point
besides just trying to ruin it for everybody else.
Ruining it is the point.
You--
You just wouldn't get it 'cause you're not built for the revolution.
- What're you trying to say? - You have to quit, Elle.
You're the kind of girl that could win this thing without even trying.
Has it occurred to you that I feel as out of place here as you do?
Well, you looked pretty comfortable up there to me.
I can't believe you think you get to pick and choose who joins the revolution.
I thought you hated pageants.
Well, maybe I never gave them a chance because I always listened to you.
Okay, yeah.
Go join Coppertone Callie and live happily ever after
at the store that hates fat people.
For your information, Willowdean...
I never thought of you as fat.
[Callie] Elle Belle, over here.
I did think of you as fat.
You know, since we're doing, like, a truth-telling thing.
[groans]
[Bekah] And thank you for all your help, Miss Rosie.
[Rosie] Oh.
[Bekah] You know, my mama just doesn't get all this pageant stuff.
But sometimes I'm just not quite sure she gets me, to be honest.
[Rosie] That is a shame.
That's a real shame, but you know what, honey?
Not everybody understands what these pageants are all about.
- [Bekah] No. - [Rosie] It's their loss.
- Oh, hey, Will. - [Willowdean] Hi.
- You know Bekah. - Hi.
Yeah, of course.
- Hi. - [Bekah] Hi. [laughs]
You know, you are so lucky that your mama is so good at...
- just everything. - Oh...
- Oh, please. - [Bekah laughs]
Dress fits you so well, it barely needs a thing.
Uh, Dumplin', will you please hand me my extra pins over there on the desk?
- [Bekah] Thank you. - [Rosie] Thanks, honey.
Now, you work at Harpy's with Bo Larson, right?
- Uh, yeah. - Yeah?
Okay, so, Bo Larson is this new boy at school.
And he is such a cutie. Am I right?
- Yeah. [laughs] - [Bekah laughs]
[clears throat] Okay, well, bye.
- Bye. - [Rosie] Bye.
[Bekah] I'm gonna ask him to Sadie Hawkins.
- [Rosie] You are? - [Bekah] Yeah.
- [Rosie] That's so exciting. - [Bekah] I'm excited.
[Rosie] Oh, what a lucky boy. I mean, how can he say no to you?
[sighs]
- [phone vibrates] - Oh.
[sighs]
Hello?
I'm at work right now.
Oh. Um...
Okay.
[inhales] Elle, this just feels wrong. Us fighting?
[Ellen] Yes, it does.
And so does rejecting people for things they can't change.
Elle Belle?
Can you come help me in the back with something? Thanks.
I have to go.
[sniffles]
[phone thuds]
["Dumb Blonde" plays]
[sighs]
[inhales and exhales deeply]
♪ Don't try to cry ♪
[girls giggle]
♪ Your way out of this ♪
♪ Don't try to lie ♪
[laughing]
♪ Or I'll catch you in it ♪
♪ Don't try to make me ♪
♪ Feel sorry for you ♪
♪ Just because I'm blonde-- ♪
[gasps]
[exhales]
Should I invite the weirdos?
This feels so exciting and dangerous.
Nothing within 100 miles of Clover City warrants that type of enthusiasm.
What is this place?
I'm gonna be honest, I've never done anything like this before.
Really?
- [men chatting indistinctly] - [Millie] Should we go in?
[Willowdean] Um...
Sh-- should we count to three?
Okay.
One...
- Two-- - Three.
Ohh, what are we doing?
I don't know.
[country music plays]
IDs.
No wonder your Aunt Lucy never took you here.
It's a bar.
Hey, hey. Lucy who?
Uh...
Lucy Dickson.
Oh, I knew Lucy real well.
She's... she's good people.
Come on in.
♪ Keep on dancing on Dixie Avenue ♪
[men laughing]
[man] Got another round here for you.
[man 2] What the hell? What the heck are they doing here?
[man 3] I don't know. Hey, Bobby, those your kids?
[Bobby] I'm not sure.
[men laugh]
We got a table for you right over here.
[man] Where are you goin'?
[billiard balls clatter]
Step to it.
My dear.
Okay, now, I don't want to see you at the bar.
[man] All right, bikers, cowboys, and cowgirls.
Holster your guns
and put your hands together for our first Dolly of the night.
[cheers, applause, and whistling]
♪ I can see you're disappointed ♪
♪ By the way you... ♪
[Millie] Willowdean, correct me if I'm wrong,
but that is a man.
A very lovely man, is it not?
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
♪ Yes, I've made my mistakes ♪
♪ But listen and understand ♪
♪ My mistakes are no worse than yours ♪
- ♪ Just because I'm a woman ♪ - [girls giggle]
[cheers, applause, and whistling]
♪ Two doors down ♪
♪ They're laughing and drinking And having a party ♪
♪ Two doors down We're not aware that they're around ♪
I'm almost impressed.
♪ Oh, two doors down ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh ♪
♪ Two doors down ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh ♪
♪ Two doors down ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
He is gorgeous.
♪ Two doors down ♪
[cheers, applause, and whistling]
[cheering]
Oh, what the fuck.
- Fudge. I meant fudge. - Well, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
The gods of the wigs have smiled upon us this evening.
Back by popular demand,
by some miraculous arrangement,
please put those acrylics together and help us welcome
Miss Rhea Ranged.
[cheers and applause]
Hi, y'all.
Now, y'all know what Dolly said.
"It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise..."
[all] "I'd be a drag queen."
[Rhea] Mm-hmm.
Y'all are mind readers.
[cheers and applause]
[Rhea] Ooh.
It's good to be home.
- Good to have you back. - Thank you.
- [man 1] Love you, Dolly. - Thank you for missing me.
- It can get lonely out there on the road. - [man 2] Get on up there, honey!
- ♪ Jolene, Jolene ♪ - [cheers and applause]
♪ Jolene, Jolene ♪
This is my favorite song.
♪ I'm begging of you Please don't take my man ♪
♪ Jolene, Jolene ♪
♪ Please don't take him Just because you can ♪
[tempo increases]
- ♪ Your beauty is beyond compare ♪ - [cheering]
♪ With flaming locks of auburn hair ♪
♪ And I cannot compete with you, Jolene ♪
[cheering]
♪ Jolene, Jolene ♪
♪ Please don't take him Just because you can ♪
[cheering]
♪ Jolene, Jolene ♪
[cheering]
- That was not what I expected. - No, I just didn't want it to end.
Well, hello, ladies. What did you think of the show?
I am feeling feelings I've never felt before.
- This place'll do that to you, trust me. - That was amazing.
Now, if you have a little minute, there's somebody backstage
that'd like to say hello to you.
We'll meet you in the van.
- Okay. - All right, then. Come on.
Come on in.
[Willowdean laughs]
[Lee inhales deeply, sighs]
Lee.
Yeah.
Child.
When I saw you out in that audience,
I thought I was looking at the ghost of Lucy Dickson.
Bless her soul.
Oh.
[Willowdean sniffles] I can't believe you knew her.
Oh, baby, your Lucy was a beauty.
Inside and out.
- I cannot get over the resemblance. - I know!
- [Lee] Genetics, right? - [Dale] Uh-huh.
You can run, but you can't hide. [laughs]
- I got my daddy's nose to prove it. - [both laugh]
- Come sit down. I got it, Dale. - You got it.
[door closes]
It's just not the same around here without her.
Ooh.
So what brought you all the way out here, sugar?
I think I came here tonight to somehow try and feel closer to her.
She used to help me think through everything.
And now I've got myself into something and...
It was for her, really.
But now I don't know what I'm doing.
Oh, it's okay.
I just wish I could talk to her.
I do too, sugar. I do, too.
You know...
I would never have gotten up on that stage if it weren't for your Lucy.
She somehow knew that's where I belonged.
She knew it before I did.
I bet you already know what she would say.
We both do.
"Go big or go home,
but either way, do it in a...
[both] "Red pair of shoes."
[Lee laughs]
Now, you know, in all fairness,
it took Lucy a while to get all the way there,
just like it does the rest of us.
You know that Dolly saying,
"Figure out who you are and do it on purpose."
Now imagine if you just jump right in it.
Ten giant steps forward.
"Mother, may I?"
"Yes."
"Yes, you may."
We are always here for you, sugar plum.
Okay?
Thank you.
Look at that face.
[laughs]
So beautiful.
Oh.
I listen to a lot of contemporary Christian music
like Hillsong.
- What do you listen to? - Metal.
Oh, there she is.
- You got big red lips on your forehead. - [Willowdean chuckles]
What happened in there?
I heard Lucy's voice.
Okay.
- [laughs] - [engine turns over]
You know she has a cassette player?
[Millie] Why don't you guys come over to my house for a sleepover to practice?
- [Hannah] That's so weird. - [Millie] Why's that weird?
Ladies.
Just a reminder,
final approval for talent costumes and formal wear
will need to be approved by us or me.
And any changes beyond minor modifications thereafter
will result in immediate disqualification.
So save the surprises for the audience, not for the judges.
All right, up first we've got Millie Michaelchicks.
Michaelchucks?
- Mitchellchuck. - Mitchellchuck!
[Millie] One, two...
♪ He is high and mighty ♪
♪ Ooh, mighty is his power ♪
♪ Mighty is his love ♪
♪ He is there with the answers Let us lift him up ♪
[applause]
All right, um... approved.
I would just say keep working on it.
Maybe fine-tune it a little bit.
Thank you.
Next.
♪ Hey there, cowboy ♪
Look at that.
- Wow. - Looks like a cow.
[yodeling]
Keeping the tradition alive, bless your heart.
Approved, approved.
Up next, Hannah Perez.
Oh, God.
Hey, hey, ho, ho, patriarchy has got to go!
I'm... I mean, is that it?
No... no music?
Well, I... I can't approve that because, technically, that's not a talent.
Next up, Bekah Colter.
[marching music plays]
Ow.
Can I try one more time?
Whoo!
[Hannah grunts]
- No, no. Stop it. - [Hannah grunts]
Approved.
Okay, approved.
Approved.
Oh, sorry.
I won with that back in '91. I got so excited.
So good.
All right, last up, Willowdean Dickson.
[Willowdean] Mmm.
[Millie whispers] You're gonna crush it.
[inhales deeply, exhales]
Okay.
[clears throat]
[exhales]
In my hand here,
I have a regular glass bottle, which I drank out of earlier today.
[girls giggle]
And in this hand, I have a regular quarter.
See?
Now, I will magically...
attempt to get the quarter through the bottle.
Okay. [clears throat]
- [applause] - Thank you.
Here we go.
[glass clinks]
[soft chuckle]
[glass clinks]
[inhales]
[glass clinks]
[glass clinks, coin clatters]
To the left.
[clears throat]
[sighs]
[glass clinking]
[coin rattles in bottle]
Ta-da.
[applause]
[coin rattles]
[Rosie] Is there anything you'd like to say?
I'll practice more.
Promise.
Approved.
Based solely on that assurance.
[applause]
[coin rattles]
Well, that certainly was a surprise,
and the one free pass you were not supposed to get from me.
[Willowdean] I don't want to talk about it.
Dumplin', I don't understand. Why are you doing this?
- You know, there's no shame in quitting. - [Willowdean] Thanks for the support, Mom.
[door opens, slams shut]
[sighs]
♪ I want to be the girl in the movies ♪
♪ The one with the glint in her eyes ♪
♪ The girl that seldom loses ♪
♪ Beautiful with grace and style ♪
♪ Acting out her story ♪
♪ Standing in her glory ♪
Table nine needs waters.
[girls giggling and chattering]
I think so. Maybe.
Oh, hey.
Hi.
Am I gonna see you at pageant practice today?
Um...
No, I got to work.
- [Bekah] Hi, Bo. - [Bo] Hey.
- [Bekah giggles] - Hungry?
- Yeah. What do you recommend? - [boy 1] She's the one who did the magic.
[boy 2] That's right, she was.
[bell dings]
- I have to get that. - [girl] Okay.
- [boy] She's that magic... - I need... I'll be back in a minute.
Have you guys decided what you want?
[sighs]
Everything okay?
Yeah.
I think that's the first time
I've ever heard you give a one-word answer to anything.
[Willowdean] Mmm.
All right, look.
You've been kind of hard to pin down, so I'm just gonna tell you.
I like you, Will.
Why?
Why what?
What about Bekah?
Bekah?
What about Bekah?
She asked me to a dance? That's it.
And I didn't go. I don't like Bekah like that.
I don't...
I-I don't understand.
Well...
- It's pretty simple. - No.
No, it's not, 'cause you and I...
we don't work together in the real world, Bo.
You're supposed to be with someone like Bekah.
What are you talking about?
Oh, my God.
I'm talking about this.
How are you missing this?
Do you not know what it would be like to be with me?
Never took you for the type that cares much what people think.
I can't, Bo.
- And that might make me a coward, but I-- - It does.
Willowdean Dickson.
I think you're beautiful.
To hell with anyone else who's ever made you feel less than that.
Doesn't really matter what I think, does it?
[sighs]
Mmm.
[Lee] A little more.
Yeah. Let's try it again. Come on, come on.
- Let's try it one more time. - Okay. Okay. Okay.
One foot in front of the other sets the ocean in motion.
[on recorder] Hey, it's Will. Leave a message.
There you go, girl. That's it.
[Hannah] Where are you?
You told us to meet you here.
Answer your damn phone.
[sighs]
[phone vibrates]
[sighs, sniffles]
[sighs]
[panting]
[shaky breathing]
["Here You Come Again" plays]
♪ Here you come again ♪
♪ Just when I am about to make it work Without you ♪
[shaky breathing]
[sobbing]
♪ All you gotta do ♪
♪ Is smile that smile ♪
♪ And there go all my grimaces ♪
♪ Just leave it up to you ♪
♪ And in a little while ♪
♪ You're messing up my mind ♪
♪ And filling up my senses ♪
[Lucy] Willowdean, wake up.
Willowdean...
[sighs]
[groans]
[metal clinks]
[line trilling]
[Hannah] 'Bout time.
I'm not prepared.
[Hannah] We have ten days.
This is gonna be a total disaster.
[Hannah] I'm kind of counting on it.
["Better Get to Livin'" plays]
Welcome back to The Hideaway, girls.
We'll find something else here.
All right, my little ladybugs,
are you ready to find out what it takes to be a real pageant queen?
- It's just a muumuu, right? - Would you put those down?
This muumuu has a slit.
♪ People always coming up to me And asking... ♪
Oh, yes. Yes.
Yes.
Fashion diva, no.
What about these?
No.
If you're gonna do it...
you do it in a red pair of shoes.
♪ To offer up a few words of advice ♪
♪ You better get to livin', givin' ♪
I love it!
- Don't smile, you'll get wrinkles. - Ew.
Whoo, girlfriend. [laughs]
♪ You better get to knowin', showin' ♪
Yes!
♪ Just a word unto the wise ♪
[Lee] Strike a pose.
[laughing]
[Lee] Girl.
Oh, wow.
That's awesome.
♪ He's high and mighty ♪
I like those.
Remember that all things are not as they seem.
And pull.
Pull.
Don't be afraid of it. There you go.
- It's all right, it gets stuck sometimes. - [gasps]
- [laughs] - And that's why we can't have nice things.
Okay.
- No, it's not okay. - Okay.
Number one, chin up. Ain't nothing down there but just a penny.
One, two, three, slap your skirt.
- Yes, queen. - Slap.
My mom is gonna hate it.
[laughter]
One, two, yes, girls.
Five, six, seven.
You gonna work on it. Yes, girl.
- I have a suggestion. - Oh, come on. Come on.
If you shake your ta-tas, you will hear the ra-ras, okay?
So just add some to it. Hey, like this. [laughs]
Hey, be careful now.
Two, three, four, five, six. Go, girl!
Rock...
that...
auditorium.
So, what do you see for me?
I see a fitted bodice.
Sequins flowing down to the ground.
As you walk, a feathered collar is lifted by a mystical breeze.
You got to see it in here first, baby girl.
Here.
Okay.
♪ Get to livin' ♪
[Rosie] Willowdean, rise and shine. Today is the big day.
- [Willowdean groans] - Okay.
[Millie] You're late.
Well, I told Lee I needed my wardrobe by noon,
and he said, "I'm a designer, sugar plum, not a magician."
But everybody's been approved except for you.
I had to bring backups.
Okay, so, remember,
speak clearly 'cause you never get a second chance at a first impression.
Be brief 'cause it shows a sign of confidence.
And avoid using "like" and "um" 'cause it makes us sound ignorant.
And speak from experience
'cause it shows you've lived a life worth paying attention to.
- [Hannah groans] - Those are all Rosie-isms.
Oh, public speaking makes me want to barf.
Okay.
Come on, tough guy.
[giggling]
[applause]
[girl] Yeah!
Hello?
Good morning, girls, and welcome to the preliminary event.
I would like to introduce to you your esteemed panel of judges.
Miss Tabitha Herrera from Tabitha Salons,
- elevating hair for over two decades. - [applause]
And Mr. Clay Dooley
of Clay Dooley Chevy,
where value meets quality.
[applause]
And Burgundy Herrer.
Once a Miss Teen herself,
who now graces the halls of Century 21.
[applause]
So I will hand it over now to our judges
who will be randomly selecting names and questions for our contestants.
Thank you.
[applause]
Miss Willowdean Dickson.
[sniffles, clears throat]
[Millie whispers] You got this.
[sighs] Okay.
[woman speaks indistinctly]
[Burgundy] Our question for you today is...
How would you define loyalty?
Um...
Loyalty.
Loyalty means never giving up on someone,
even through doubts and differences.
It's a noun...
with action,
fueled by shared experiences,
which are memorable,
meaningful,
and irreplaceable.
But loyalty isn't blind love.
It shouldn't be taken for granted.
Loyalty means telling someone
when they're wrong when no one else will.
And loyalty means apologizing when you're wrong,
because of the trust you've built over time.
Loyalty is true friendship.
Thank you, Miss Dickson.
[applause]
[whistling and cheering]
[Hannah laughs]
Ladies, please find the station with your name on it.
- [Millie] Where's my name, where is it? - Get yourselves settled.
[Millie] Oh, there it is.
If you have any questions, I'm here to help.
[girls chattering]
[woman] All right, girls. We have the space.
It's just a word.
It doesn't mean anything unless you let it, but...
if it hurts you, it hurts me.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
I was wrong to think you weren't built for the revolution.
Damn straight.
This booty can do more damage than you think.
[laughing]
I missed you.
Oh, and I missed you, too.
I'm sorry. I really do want to stop judging.
I promise. I just...
I know everyone has their own story.
Even Callie.
And if you guys wanna be friends, I understand--
Okay. Willowdean Opal Dickson.
You are my best friend, and you always will be.
You're not still doing that sketchy water bottle trick, are you?
Hey, I have a few tricks up my sleeve.
Although, I sure could use your help in pulling them off.
- Well, viva la revolucion, baby. - Oh, I missed you!
I missed you!
♪ Like a fool, I'm holding on To you-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ You-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Like a fool, I'm holding on to you ♪
[Eugene] Hope you got your tickets for tonight's sold-out event,
the 85th annual Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
Who is gonna be crowned this year's winner?
I'll be your host, Eugene Reed. See you tonight.
- Bye. - Bye.
See you later at the show.
Okay. Bye.
Hi.
Is everything okay?
Well, you were right.
I never really got to know...
all of who she was.
I don't-- I don't understand this.
I mean, Lucy was the most confident.
Her confidence...
scared me.
I just can't imagine...
her to want to do something and not do it.
Oh...
But the dress.
The year that I won the pageant,
we didn't have any money...
to get me a new dress.
So Lucy...
helped me find one, very last minute, at the thrift store.
And she...
just insisted...
on staying up all night
to work on it, even though I told her, I said, "It's fine.
It's fine. It fits fine.
No one's gonna notice a few missing sequins."
I said that.
And the next morning...
when she handed it back to me, she said,
"In life...
the difference between winning and losing...
is all in the details."
That was her.
[inhales deeply]
Lucy taught me that.
You never told me that before.
Where are they?
They?
Her-- the boxes. Lucy's boxes. Where are they?
Oh...
Well... I donated 'em.
[inhales deeply]
Oh.
I think I gave too much of her away.
[gasping]
Ooh.
Mom?
[girls murmuring]
[woman] Okay, girls, opening numbers.
Costumes, hats, boots. Let's go, let's go, let's go!
[giggling]
[woman] Millie!
Millicent Amethyst Mitchellchuck!
[gasps]
What's up?
I'm not sure.
Oh.
- Oh what? - [Hannah] She doesn't know. Remember?
You lied to me? You just lied?
You lied straight to my face?
You-- Needlepoint Club?
Sorry.
Is this who you are?
- But... - What?
You were wrong for saying no when I asked.
I get that you were just trying to protect me,
but sometimes I need you to support me.
All right, well, that is private, and we will discuss that in the car
on the way home.
No, Mrs. Mitchellchuck?
Um...
Millie has to compete.
She's worked so hard for this and she really deserves it.
She's not fragile.
She's got this thick skin you wouldn't even expect.
And you know she's been dreaming of doing the pageant since she was eight years old.
Is that true?
There's nothing in the rules that says big girls need not apply.
I have one thing to say to you.
How much wood...
could a Mitchellchuck chuck...
if a Mitchellchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a Mitchellchuck could chuck
if a Mitchellchuck could chuck wood.
[Millie's mom] Okay. [sobs]
I'm sorry, but you can't lie to me. You just cannot.
- [Millie] I won't, Mama. - Is that a yes?
Yes, it's a yes.
[laughs]
Come on.
A question.
Who the heck did your hair and makeup?
Oh, it's a long story, Mom.
- I'll tell you later. - [Millie's mom] I don't wanna know.
[crowd chattering]
[clears throat] I'm very excited.
[Eugene] Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor
to welcome you to Clover City's 85th annual Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
Please put your hands together for this year's contestants.
[applause]
[country music plays]
[cheering]
[cheers and applause]
That was nice.
[cheering]
[whistling]
[laughing]
[cheering]
- Thank you! - [applause]
And let's get a round of applause
for these lovely, beautiful, coordinated contestants.
Let's give it up to Miss Rosie Dickson
and her beautiful homage to this year's theme:
Texas, ain't she grand?
[cheering]
She is grand, Rosie, and so are you.
And a good kisser. Hah! Just kidding.
Ain't she?
Yes, she is. Once again...
Okay, girls. Lifestyle and fitness.
Let's take our places.
Make sure your tapes are in the right places, ladies.
[Eugene] Everyone gets a Chevy here tonight. Hah! Just kidding.
[applause]
And now, on to our next event,
health and fitness.
Please welcome Miss Bekah Colter.
[applause]
[country music plays]
Okay. In 1971, Dolly's seventh single as a solo artist,
written the same year as "Nickels and Dimes".
Mmm-mmm.
"It's All Wrong, But It's All Right."
Now let's do this.
[exhales]
[Eugene] Miss Willowdean Dickson.
[applause]
Oh, and along with Miss Ellen Dryver.
I'm not quite sure what's going on here, ladies and gentlemen.
[giggling]
- [woman 1] That is so cool. - [woman 2] Yeah.
[cheering]
[whistling]
Yes. Yes.
[Eugene] I've never seen anything like this before, ladies and gentlemen,
but the crowd sure loves it.
[cheers and applause]
Weren't those girls amazing?
And now, Miss Hannah Perez.
Just so we're clear, I'm doing this for me, not for them.
You go, girl.
[applause]
[giggling]
[Eugene] Miss Millicent Mitchellchuck.
[man] All right, Millie!
[laughs]
- [cheering] - Whoa.
[woman] Millie!
[whistling]
That's my daughter. What?
- That's yours? - Uh-huh.
That's her daughter.
- What? - That's Millie's mom.
[Eugene] Now please welcome the talents of Miss Callie Reyes
and her special guest, Miss Precious.
It's all in the wrist. Sweep, sweep, swipe, swipe, swipe.
Bless her heart.
You're a natural.
[laughs] Oh, please, Miss Precious. You're a doll.
[laughter]
[applause]
[whistling]
Our next talent contestant will be...
Miss Willowdean Dickson,
here to delight you with a magic trick.
Watch this.
[applause]
[inhales deeply]
[exhales]
["Here You Come Again" plays]
[Rosie sighs]
♪ Here you come again ♪
♪ Just when I've begun To get myself together ♪
♪ You waltz right in the door ♪
♪ Just like you've done before ♪
♪ And wrap my heart Round your little finger ♪
♪ Here you come again ♪
[applause]
♪ Just when I'm about To make it work without you ♪
♪ You look into my eyes ♪
♪ And lie those pretty lies ♪
♪ And pretty soon I'm wondering How I came here without you ♪
♪ All you gotta do ♪
Oh, my.
♪ Is smile that smile ♪
♪ And there go all my defenses ♪
- ♪ Just a little bit from you ♪ - [applause]
♪ And in a little while ♪
♪ You're messing with my mind ♪
♪ And filling up my senses ♪
[cheering]
[gasps] [upbeat music kicks in]
[laughs]
♪ Here you come again ♪
♪ Lookin' better than a body Has a right to ♪
How did she do it?
It's so neat.
♪ And here I go ♪
♪ Here I go ♪
I like it.
♪ Here you come again ♪
♪ And here I go ♪
Yeah!
♪ Here I go ♪
[cheers and applause]
Oh, God.
[Millie giggles]
Oh, my God.
[cheering]
Oh, my God, she did so good.
Oh. Oh.
[Eugene] Thank you, Miss Willowdean Dickson,
for that mesmerizing magic act.
- That was amazing. - I feel like I gave birth.
[laughing]
Our next talent contestant will be Miss Millicent Mitchellchuck,
singing "High and Mighty" for you this evening.
["High and Mighty" plays]
♪ High and mighty ♪
♪ He is high and mighty ♪
♪ I believe ♪
- ♪ I do believe ♪ - [woman] She's incredible.
♪ That His love has ♪
♪ Set me ♪
♪ Free ♪
♪ I believe, I believe ♪
- ♪ I believe He is high and mighty ♪ - [audience claps along]
♪ Oh, mighty is His power ♪
♪ Mighty is His love ♪
♪ He is high and He's mighty ♪
♪ It's a wonderful feeling ♪
Willowdean, Miss Dickson wants you in her dressing room.
♪ He said if I be lifted up ♪
♪ What did he say? ♪
♪ He said if I be lifted up ♪
♪ After holding on to me ♪
♪ Let's lift Him higher ♪
♪ Higher ♪
♪ Higher and higher each day ♪
[sighs]
♪ 'Cause He is high ♪
♪ And He's mighty ♪
♪ And He has washed my ♪
♪ Sins away ♪
♪ He is high and He's mighty ♪
[man] Yeah!
[cheers and applause]
[man] That was beautiful!
- [man 2] Amazing! - [man 3] Yeah!
[whistling]
[man] We love you!
I can't believe it!
I can't believe I did it.
It was so good, it was so good.
- Really? Oh, man, that was incredible. - Really. It was so good.
[laughs]
[knocking]
Come in.
Wow.
That was...
That was truly a surprise.
Thanks.
I'm so proud.
Lucy would've been so proud.
But my talent wardrobe was not approved, nor was my song.
And, full disclosure,
neither was the formal I was about to put on.
Technicalities, but...
"Any changes made beyond minor modifications after approvals
will result in immediate disqualification," I know.
Preparation.
It's key.
[Willowdean sighs]
Can I just do the final walk? Not to compete, just to finish?
No.
I wish I could.
I wish I could, honey,
but that wouldn't be fair to the other girls.
Me making an exception for my daughter?
I'm sorry, Dumplin'.
Oh, shoot!
And you hate it when I call you that. I will-- I'm sorry.
- Mom. - I will try, I promise.
It's fine.
It's just a word.
I am Dumplin'.
- Will... - I am Will.
I am Willowdean, I'm-- I'm a beauty queen.
I'm disqualified.
I'm all of it.
- [door opens] - Sorry to barge in.
Tim is stuck in the bathroom with food poisoning.
My escort is green. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Well, I'm disqualified, so you can take mine.
He's sitting near the front with the drag queen.
- Wait, what? - Disqualified?
Then I'm out too. I'm not doing this without you.
- [Willowdean] Elle. - Well, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
Okay.
Nowhere in the bylaws does it say that a...
disqualified contestant cannot escort a fellow contestant.
Right?
Okay, I'll go tell Tim. He'll be so relieved.
Okay.
Oh, wait! Honey, will you please zip me before you go?
Mm-hmm.
- Okay. - Okay.
[sighs]
- Okay, pull down. - Okay. Pull down.
[Rosie] Oh, is it right at that-- at that seam?
- Maybe. - Oh, no. What is happening?
Uh, well...
[both groan]
- What? - Mom...
What, what?
- That's as far as it goes. - No.
- Yeah. - No, uh-uh. No, no. Come on.
Oh, gosh.
- No. - No?
- No. - No!
Oh, no.
Oh, no! Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
I have to wear this dress.
It's tradition.
Oh, God.
I did not bring a backup.
- Preparation is key. - [scoffs]
I have an idea.
I'm-- I'm just gonna be five minutes, but you have to trust me.
Oh. Well...
- What are you gonna do? - [door opens]
Oh, gosh.
- [door closes] - Oh!
Oh, gosh.
[sighs]
[sniffles]
[gasps]
Oh.
[whimpers]
Lucy.
[cries]
No. Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, no. No.
[sniffles]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, God.
- Oh. Oh, no. - [hairdryer whirs]
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
[knocking on door]
Oh. Will.
Oh.
I heard you might need a little help.
[woman] Come on, girls, hurry up. Time for formal. Let's go.
[Millie squeals]
Hello, guys.
Who knew beauty pageants could be a team sport?
- Well, I did. - [Hannah] Oh, shut up.
[laughter]
[applause]
Ladies and gentlemen, the moment y'all been waiting for.
It's my pleasure to introduce your hostess,
a lady whose elegance rivals her beauty.
The ten-time winner of the Best Texas Pageant of the Year Award,
and breaking with tradition on a night full of surprises,
please welcome our favorite Bluebonnet.
Put your hands together for Miss Rosie Dickson.
[cheers and applause]
[laughs]
[speaks indistinctly]
[mouthing] This?
[mouthing] You look great.
[whistling]
[laughter]
Do I look that good in that dress?
No.
[Rosie] Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my pleasure to introduce... Shade.
- ...our formal wear presentation. - [country music plays]
I would like to invite Miss Bekah Colter,
escorted this evening by Mr. Bobby Nelson.
[applause]
Lucy may have gotten us into this,
but what do you say we finish for us?
Hell to the yes.
[inhales deeply, exhales]
Please welcome Miss Ellen Dryver,
escorted this evening by Miss Willowdean Dickson.
[applause]
[cheering]
[both giggle]
I don't believe it.
You look so beautiful.
Thank you.
[both laugh]
Oh boy, what a night, huh?
Please welcome Miss Callie Reyes,
escorted this evening by Tristan Abbot Barnes.
[applause]
...not only their grace,
their talent, their intelligence...
but their courage.
[applause]
So without further ado, it is time to announce the judges' results.
Okay, girls.
All right, Clover City,
Miss Teen Bluebonnet second runner-up...
Miss...
Callie Reyes.
[gasping]
[applause]
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
[cheering]
Thank you.
Gorgeous.
Representing Clover City's Miss Teen Bluebonnet
first runner-up...
[exhales]
Miss Millicent Mitchellchuck.
[gasping]
[cheering]
Yes!
Oh, my grace.
[cheering]
Yeah!
Yeah! Yes!
[laughing]
Oh, my gosh.
[Willowdean] All I could think about was Lucy,
hoping she could see this from wherever she was,
knowing that she had a hand in all of us girls figuring out who we were,
and, like Dolly, doing it on purpose.
[Rosie] Okay.
It is my honor to introduce to you,
as the new title holder, Clover City Miss Teen Bluebonnet,
Miss...
Bekah Colter.
[Bekah gasps]
[Bekah] Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
Oh!
Thank you so much!
[Eugene] Wow!
♪ Look at her ♪
[Bekah] I can't believe this!
♪ She's the belle of the ball ♪
- Thank you so much. - Thank you.
♪ Ain't she grand? ♪
♪ So give her a hand ♪
♪ She beat 'em all ♪
Sorry, ladies, maybe next year.
♪ Look at her, she walks ♪
♪ With that magical gown ♪
♪ Strutting all over the town... ♪
♪ You all wish you were her ♪
♪ Maybe next year ♪
I consulted the Magic 8-Ball.
[Bo] Yeah?
What did it say?
It said...
"Outlook good."
Hey, did you win?
No.
[Bo] Aw.
I got disqualified.
That's my girl.
["Two Doors Down" plays]
♪ Two doors down ♪
♪ They're laughing and drinking And having a party ♪
♪ Two doors down They're not aware that I'm around ♪
♪ Here I am ♪
♪ Crying my heart out, feeling sorry ♪
♪ We're having a party Just two doors down ♪
♪ I think I'll dry these useless tears And get myself together ♪
♪ I think I'll wander down the hall And have a look around ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't stay inside This lonely room and cry forever ♪
♪ I think I'd really rather join 'em Two doors down ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Two doors down ♪
♪ They're laughing and drinking And having a party ♪
♪ Two doors down They're not aware that I'm around ♪
♪ 'Cause here I am No longer crying and feeling sorry ♪
♪ We're having a party Just two doors down ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh ♪
♪ Two doors down ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh ♪
♪ Two doors down ♪
♪ They're laughing and drinking And having a party ♪
[all sing] ♪ Two doors down We're not aware that they're around ♪
♪ 'Cause here I am ♪
♪ Feeling everything but sorry ♪
♪ We're having our own party Two doors down ♪
["Girl in the Movies" plays]
♪ Popcorn, soda, box of Raisinets ♪
♪ Velvet-cushioned seats And soft armrests ♪
♪ Best seat in my favorite movie house ♪
♪ Start my dreaming as the lights go out ♪
♪ Up on the silver screen, I picture me ♪
♪ Living out my passions, hopes And fantasies ♪
♪ I want to be the girl in the movies ♪
♪ The one with the glint in her eyes ♪
♪ The girl that seldom loses ♪
♪ Beautiful, with grace and style ♪
♪ Acting out her story ♪
♪ Standing in her glory ♪
♪ Happy ever after ♪
♪ I want to be the girl in the movies ♪
♪ It's time I show the world Just what I'm about ♪
♪ I'm stepping up and I'm stepping out ♪
♪ I'm feeling bold and I'm feeling proud ♪
♪ I want to be that girl ♪
♪ I want to be the girl in the movies ♪
♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm ♪
♪ Gonna stand up and I'm gonna matter ♪
♪ 'Cause I've had enough Of my dreams being shattered ♪
♪ And I've had enough Of my tears being splattered ♪
♪ I've already been that girl ♪
♪ Oh, I want to shine ♪
♪ I want to shine ♪
♪ It's my time ♪
♪ And I want to shine ♪
♪ I want to be happy, I want to be free ♪
♪ Just like the girl in the movies ♪
["Push and Pull" plays]
♪ All I'm trying to do Is just give you some good advice ♪
♪ And you give it so freely ♪
♪ But hey, this is my life ♪
♪ You don't have to be cruel ♪
♪ You don't have to be so cold ♪
♪ I guess we're both hell bent On keeping our own control ♪
♪ So I push you away And then I pull you in ♪
♪ We say what we have to say And make up again ♪
♪ But if we tried ♪
♪ You and I could make amends ♪
♪ 'Cause in push and pull ♪
♪ Nobody ever wins ♪
♪ It's a push and pull ♪
♪ When will it ever... ♪