1
00:00:02,968 --> 00:00:04,728
 - ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

2
00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:06,420
 ♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

3
00:00:06,489 --> 00:00:07,973
 ♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

4
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,768
 ♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

5
00:00:09,837 --> 00:00:11,666
 ♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

6
00:00:11,735 --> 00:00:13,910
 ♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

7
00:00:13,979 --> 00:00:15,360
 - ♪ In the Loud house ♪

8
00:00:15,429 --> 00:00:17,017
 ♪ In the Loud house ♪

9
00:00:17,086 --> 00:00:18,535
 - ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

10
00:00:18,604 --> 00:00:20,330
 ♪ Is how we show our love ♪

11
00:00:20,399 --> 00:00:21,849
 - ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

12
00:00:21,918 --> 00:00:23,609
 - ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

13
00:00:23,678 --> 00:00:24,817
 ♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

14
00:00:24,886 --> 00:00:28,166
 - ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪

15
00:00:28,235 --> 00:00:29,891
 ♪ Loud house ♪

16
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,134
- Poo-poo.

17
00:00:47,844 --> 00:00:48,949
- Wow, Clyde.

18
00:00:49,018 --> 00:00:50,812
Perfect attendance since
kindergarten?

19
00:00:50,882 --> 00:00:52,642
That's really impressive.
- Thanks, Lincoln,

20
00:00:52,711 --> 00:00:54,230
but it's not that
big of a deal.

21
00:00:54,299 --> 00:00:55,645
- Are you kidding?
You're the first kid

22
00:00:55,714 --> 00:00:58,751
at our school to get
this award in 30 years!

23
00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:01,409
- You're right!
It is a big deal!

24
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,549
I gotta document it
in my school journal.

25
00:01:03,618 --> 00:01:05,862
 [pleasant jazzy music]

26
00:01:05,931 --> 00:01:08,175
"Got attendance award
at school today.

27
00:01:08,244 --> 00:01:10,211
Beautiful ceremony."

28
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,799
- You write in that every day?

29
00:01:11,868 --> 00:01:13,456
- Yup, every day
since kindergarten.

30
00:01:13,525 --> 00:01:15,216
Great way to preserve
important memories.

31
00:01:15,285 --> 00:01:16,493
Here.

32
00:01:17,667 --> 00:01:19,117
"Stayed after school
to clap erasers.

33
00:01:19,186 --> 00:01:20,808
It was amazing."

34
00:01:20,877 --> 00:01:23,328
"Traded my dad's quiche
for Rusty's leftover pizza.

35
00:01:23,397 --> 00:01:24,985
Big mistake."

36
00:01:25,054 --> 00:01:26,848
"Accidentally bumped into
Mollie in the hall.

37
00:01:26,918 --> 00:01:28,609
Felt guilty the rest
of the day."

38
00:01:28,678 --> 00:01:30,404
"Didn't go to school today."

39
00:01:30,473 --> 00:01:32,751
"Aced a math test."
Wait, what?

40
00:01:32,820 --> 00:01:34,201
"Didn't go to school today"?!

41
00:01:34,270 --> 00:01:35,340
 No!

42
00:01:35,409 --> 00:01:37,135
I can't believe it!
I'm a fraud!

43
00:01:37,204 --> 00:01:40,345
I'm gonna have to return this.
- Clyde, don't you dare.

44
00:01:40,414 --> 00:01:41,760
- But I don't deserve it!

45
00:01:41,829 --> 00:01:43,796
- Are you kidding?
So you missed one day

46
00:01:43,865 --> 00:01:45,522
out of, what, 1,000?

47
00:01:45,591 --> 00:01:47,628
That's still
pretty awesome, Clyde.

48
00:01:47,697 --> 00:01:49,319
- Perfect attendance, Lincoln.

49
00:01:49,388 --> 00:01:51,977
What do you think that means?

50
00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:54,359
- That's fair, buddy.
You've got my support.

51
00:01:54,428 --> 00:01:57,465
Do what you need to do.
- [sighs]

52
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:58,742
 [melancholy music]

53
00:01:58,811 --> 00:02:01,435
"Took back plaque.
Devastating blow,

54
00:02:01,504 --> 00:02:03,506
but the right thing to do."

55
00:02:03,575 --> 00:02:04,817
 [bell rings]

56
00:02:04,886 --> 00:02:06,923
Principal Huggins,
got a second?

57
00:02:06,992 --> 00:02:09,581
- I always have time
for a VIP like you,

58
00:02:09,650 --> 00:02:12,273
Mr. Perfect Attendance.

59
00:02:12,342 --> 00:02:14,103
- You shouldn't
call me that, sir.

60
00:02:14,172 --> 00:02:15,449
- Don't be so modest, son.

61
00:02:15,518 --> 00:02:17,416
I know what a big deal
this award is.

62
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,901
You know the last kid to win
it 30 years ago?

63
00:02:19,971 --> 00:02:23,388
This good-looking guy
right here.

64
00:02:23,457 --> 00:02:25,148
- Actually, I, uh...

65
00:02:25,217 --> 00:02:27,081
just discovered that I, uh...

66
00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:31,499
- I'd like to make you
my junior administrator.

67
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,294
It's a lot of responsibility.

68
00:02:33,363 --> 00:02:35,227
You'll raise
the flag every day,

69
00:02:35,296 --> 00:02:37,264
help Cheryl with
the clerical work,

70
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:39,576
weigh in on the cafeteria menu,

71
00:02:39,645 --> 00:02:41,440
oversee the hall monitors,

72
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:43,615
and read the morning
announcements!

73
00:02:43,684 --> 00:02:45,893
- M--m--
morning announcements?

74
00:02:45,962 --> 00:02:48,585
- Well, if you're going
to stutter like that,

75
00:02:48,654 --> 00:02:49,862
you can't do it.
And if all goes well,

76
00:02:49,931 --> 00:02:52,175
who knows, McBride?
Who knows?

77
00:02:52,244 --> 00:02:56,800
Maybe someday you'll be sitting
at this very desk!

78
00:02:56,869 --> 00:02:59,044
- [gasps]

79
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:02,841
Lincoln Loud Jr., please report
to the principal's office...

80
00:03:02,910 --> 00:03:04,429
again.

81
00:03:07,397 --> 00:03:09,261
- So what do you say?

82
00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:11,988
 [tense music]

83
00:03:12,057 --> 00:03:13,058
- I accept, sir!

84
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:14,956
 [triumphant music]

85
00:03:15,026 --> 00:03:17,959
 ♪ ♪

86
00:03:21,066 --> 00:03:22,309
[horn honks]

87
00:03:22,378 --> 00:03:24,966
[gasps] The golf cart?
No way.

88
00:03:25,036 --> 00:03:28,556
- Just one of the perks
of being junior administrator.

89
00:03:31,525 --> 00:03:35,598
Later, Mr. Junior
Administrator!

90
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:38,497
- Wow, Clyde!
Junior administrator?

91
00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:39,912
So Principal Huggins
didn't care

92
00:03:39,981 --> 00:03:41,535
that you missed
one day of school?

93
00:03:41,604 --> 00:03:43,640
- Actually, I didn't tell him.

94
00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:44,883
He offered me this job
and said

95
00:03:44,952 --> 00:03:46,643
he thinks I could be
principal someday.

96
00:03:46,712 --> 00:03:49,405
It's the dream
I never knew I had.

97
00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:52,132
Do you think less of me
for not being honest?

98
00:03:52,201 --> 00:03:53,236
- Not at all.

99
00:03:53,305 --> 00:03:54,479
And I think you'd make

100
00:03:54,548 --> 00:03:55,928
a great principal.
- Thanks, buddy.

101
00:03:55,997 --> 00:03:58,310
I'll try not to be
too hard on Lincoln Jr.

102
00:03:58,379 --> 00:03:59,380
- What?

103
00:03:59,449 --> 00:04:02,107
 [purposeful music]

104
00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:03,350
- Mm-hmm.

105
00:04:03,419 --> 00:04:05,145
 ♪ ♪

106
00:04:05,214 --> 00:04:06,939
[slurps]Mm-hmm.

107
00:04:07,008 --> 00:04:09,494
Perhaps a bit more oregano.

108
00:04:09,563 --> 00:04:11,737
Very good.
Yes, yes.

109
00:04:11,806 --> 00:04:13,118
Lookin' good, troops!

110
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:14,982
Now, Norm just waxed
the floors,

111
00:04:15,051 --> 00:04:17,847
so let's be extra careful
out there, people.

112
00:04:17,916 --> 00:04:23,128
- Knock 'em dead, sugar.
Going live in three, two...

113
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,994
- Good morning,
Royal Woods Elementary.

114
00:04:27,063 --> 00:04:28,789
This is Junior Administrator
Clyde McBride

115
00:04:28,858 --> 00:04:30,756
with today's announcements.

116
00:04:30,825 --> 00:04:32,379
Due to a statewide
investigation

117
00:04:32,448 --> 00:04:33,966
into the effects of chalk dust,

118
00:04:34,035 --> 00:04:36,969
no erasers are to be clapped
until further notice.

119
00:04:40,663 --> 00:04:42,975
 - I'm so happy you're here,
Clyde.

120
00:04:43,044 --> 00:04:46,807
Land sakes, I can sure use
the help with my new project:

121
00:04:46,876 --> 00:04:49,672
digitizing all
the student files.

122
00:04:49,741 --> 00:04:51,018
- Student files?

123
00:04:51,087 --> 00:04:52,985
Does that include
attendance records?

124
00:04:53,054 --> 00:04:55,264
- Well, why wouldn't it,
june bug?

125
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:57,404
- [groans dizzily]

126
00:04:57,473 --> 00:04:58,957
- [screams]

127
00:05:00,338 --> 00:05:02,719
- Lincoln!
I've got a code butterscotch!

128
00:05:02,788 --> 00:05:04,514
- Cheryl's digitizing
the school records

129
00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:07,517
and is going to find out that
your attendance isn't perfect?

130
00:05:07,586 --> 00:05:09,243
- Exactly.
But I've got a plan.

131
00:05:09,312 --> 00:05:10,279
- I'm in.

132
00:05:10,348 --> 00:05:12,039
- I'm going back to school

133
00:05:12,108 --> 00:05:14,110
after Principal Huggins and
Cheryl leave to remove my file.

134
00:05:14,179 --> 00:05:16,216
- I'm in.
- Now I know it sounds risky,

135
00:05:16,285 --> 00:05:18,563
and I understand if you don't
wanna get involved.

136
00:05:18,632 --> 00:05:20,047
- I'm in!
- But it would really mean

137
00:05:20,116 --> 00:05:22,567
a lot to me if--
wait, did you say you're in?

138
00:05:22,636 --> 00:05:23,671
- Three times.

139
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,571
- Oh, you're the best, buddy.

140
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,435
 [mysterious music]

141
00:05:28,504 --> 00:05:31,921
 ♪ ♪

142
00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:34,544
- Whoa.
This could take a while.

143
00:05:35,442 --> 00:05:37,651
Well, that took less time
than I thought it would.

144
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:38,997
- We did it!

145
00:05:39,066 --> 00:05:40,550
And with my file safely
in my possession,

146
00:05:40,619 --> 00:05:43,001
my little secret
is perfectly safe.

147
00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:45,210
[exhales] Now no one
will ever know I lied

148
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,798
about my perfect attendance.

149
00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:49,076
Success!
- Success!

150
00:05:49,145 --> 00:05:51,389
[sloshing sound]

151
00:05:51,458 --> 00:05:52,493
 [dark music]

152
00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:53,839
[both shout]

153
00:05:53,908 --> 00:05:55,220
- What is Norm
still doing here?

154
00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:56,842
Do you think he heard
what I just said?

155
00:05:56,911 --> 00:05:58,568
- Probably not.
- He must've!

156
00:05:58,637 --> 00:06:00,639
These halls echo
like the Grand Canyon.

157
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,262
Now he's gonna tell
Principal Huggins,

158
00:06:02,331 --> 00:06:04,781
who will interrogate me,
and I'll crumble like a cookie!

159
00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:06,611
It's what I do.

160
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:10,442
There goes the dream
I just discovered I had.

161
00:06:10,511 --> 00:06:12,824
- Okay, take it easy, Clyde.

162
00:06:12,893 --> 00:06:15,516
- We have to make sure
Norm stays quiet.

163
00:06:15,585 --> 00:06:18,174
And I know how to do it.

164
00:06:18,243 --> 00:06:19,831
[toilet flushes]

165
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:22,799
Toilets are all clean.
How's it going out here?

166
00:06:22,868 --> 00:06:24,836
- The soap scum and mildew
are almost gone.

167
00:06:24,905 --> 00:06:27,494
I think we may be stuck
with the smell forever, though.

168
00:06:27,563 --> 00:06:28,771
- Loud?
McBride?

169
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,049
Are you boys...cleaning?

170
00:06:31,118 --> 00:06:33,258
- Yup, just thought you could
use a little help.

171
00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:35,433
- Wow!
Much appreciated.

172
00:06:35,502 --> 00:06:39,816
I haven't touched this bathroom
since the great flood of 2012.

173
00:06:39,885 --> 00:06:41,749
- Well, now you don't have to.

174
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,199
And you know
what they say, Norm:

175
00:06:43,268 --> 00:06:46,237
I scratch your back,
you scratch mine.

176
00:06:48,549 --> 00:06:49,999
So we're good, right?

177
00:06:50,068 --> 00:06:52,001
- I scratch...
[stammers] Wha--

178
00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:54,831
- Ah-ah.
You don't have to say anything.

179
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,695
You said it all with your eyes.

180
00:06:59,215 --> 00:07:00,251
We did it!

181
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,700
Now no one will ever know

182
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,461
I lied about
my attendance record.

183
00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:05,290
[mechanical clicking]

184
00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:08,051
 [dark music]

185
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,019
Do you think Coach Pacowski
heard what I just said?

186
00:07:10,088 --> 00:07:12,021
- Probably not.
- He must've!

187
00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:14,334
The acoustics in here
are like Carnegie Hall!

188
00:07:14,403 --> 00:07:15,749
- Clyde, I really think--

189
00:07:15,818 --> 00:07:17,854
- We have to make sure
Coach stays quiet.

190
00:07:17,923 --> 00:07:19,960
And I know how to do it.

191
00:07:22,997 --> 00:07:25,966
[both gasping]
- Loud? McBride?

192
00:07:26,035 --> 00:07:27,692
What are you doing
under my boat?

193
00:07:27,761 --> 00:07:30,246
- Just taking care of those
pesky barnacles for you, Coach.

194
00:07:30,315 --> 00:07:32,352
Gotta keep your vessel
in tip-top shape.

195
00:07:32,421 --> 00:07:33,663
- Why would you do that?

196
00:07:33,732 --> 00:07:34,975
- Well, you know what
they say, Coach:

197
00:07:35,044 --> 00:07:37,978
I scratch your back,
you scratch mine.

198
00:07:39,704 --> 00:07:43,363
- I don't think you got enough
oxygen down there, McBride.

199
00:07:43,432 --> 00:07:47,021
Ma! I just scraped all
the barnacles off the boat!

200
00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:49,679
Can I have my allowance now?

201
00:07:49,748 --> 00:07:51,232
- [exhales] That was
a close one.

202
00:07:51,302 --> 00:07:52,889
If Coach P told
Principal Huggins

203
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:54,684
that I lied about
my attendance record,

204
00:07:54,753 --> 00:07:58,688
ooh, I'd be sunk.

205
00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:00,069
[both shout]

206
00:08:00,138 --> 00:08:02,036
[pop music playing
through headphones]

207
00:08:02,105 --> 00:08:03,521
Did Nurse Patti hear
what I said

208
00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:04,694
about my attendance record?

209
00:08:04,763 --> 00:08:06,420
- Does it even matter
what I say?

210
00:08:06,489 --> 00:08:07,801
- Of course she heard.

211
00:08:07,870 --> 00:08:09,250
The lake breeze carried my
melodious voice!

212
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,908
We have to make sure
Nurse Patti stays quiet.

213
00:08:11,977 --> 00:08:14,842
And I know just how to do it.

214
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,707
Okay, Petey, you seem
to be all clear.

215
00:08:17,776 --> 00:08:19,502
Don't forget your lollipop.

216
00:08:22,091 --> 00:08:23,748
both: Hey, Nurse Patti.
- Oh, uh,

217
00:08:23,817 --> 00:08:25,819
what are you boys doing
in my office?

218
00:08:25,888 --> 00:08:27,510
- We just checked
all of the kindergartners

219
00:08:27,579 --> 00:08:28,787
for head lice.

220
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,927
- Uh, okay.

221
00:08:30,996 --> 00:08:32,791
I'm a little confused here.

222
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,966
- Are you?
I think it's pretty clear.

223
00:08:35,035 --> 00:08:38,383
I scratch your back,
you scratch mine.

224
00:08:39,039 --> 00:08:40,558
Now that we have
an understanding,

225
00:08:40,627 --> 00:08:43,837
I'll just take a lollipop
and be on my way.

226
00:08:45,079 --> 00:08:47,944
Yes! That was
the last loose end.

227
00:08:48,013 --> 00:08:49,670
Now no one will ever
know that I--

228
00:08:49,739 --> 00:08:51,707
- This is the part
where you get into trouble,

229
00:08:51,776 --> 00:08:54,813
so I'm gonna stop you
right here.

230
00:08:56,781 --> 00:08:59,404
[horn honks]
- McBride.

231
00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:00,923
I got you something.

232
00:09:00,992 --> 00:09:03,477
Your very own golf cart.
Here's the key.

233
00:09:03,546 --> 00:09:05,721
- Wow.
She's beautiful.

234
00:09:05,790 --> 00:09:07,481
But why are you doing this?

235
00:09:07,550 --> 00:09:09,725
- I heard about everything
you did for our school,

236
00:09:09,794 --> 00:09:13,107
even scrubbing Coach's boat
so he could get his allowance.

237
00:09:13,176 --> 00:09:14,695
You've earned it, son.

238
00:09:14,764 --> 00:09:16,835
- Well, I don't know
about that.

239
00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:19,907
- There's that winning
McBride humility.

240
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,219
You know what?

241
00:09:21,288 --> 00:09:22,945
You've got more than
perfect attendance.

242
00:09:23,014 --> 00:09:26,017
You've got perfect character.

243
00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:34,474
- Good morning,
Royal Woods Elementary.

244
00:09:34,543 --> 00:09:36,752
Here are today's announcements.
Due to a pending lawsuit,

245
00:09:36,821 --> 00:09:39,582
there will be no more dodgeball
until further notice.

246
00:09:39,651 --> 00:09:41,619
The spelling team
took first place last night

247
00:09:41,688 --> 00:09:42,827
in the regionals.

248
00:09:42,896 --> 00:09:44,449
Today is Girl Jordan's
birthday,

249
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:46,658
so if you see her in the hall,
be sure to wish her well.

250
00:09:46,727 --> 00:09:49,350
[sighs] Oh, and one more thing:

251
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:51,767
Clyde McBride is
a big, fat liar.

252
00:09:51,836 --> 00:09:53,493
- [yelps]

253
00:09:53,562 --> 00:09:55,564
- My attendance
isn't perfect at all

254
00:09:55,633 --> 00:09:57,186
and neither is my character.

255
00:09:57,255 --> 00:09:59,188
 I don't deserve to be
a junior administrator

256
00:09:59,257 --> 00:10:00,741
 or a future principal.

257
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:01,984
 And because of all that,

258
00:10:02,053 --> 00:10:03,468
I hereby resign my post,

259
00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:05,505
effective immediately.

260
00:10:05,574 --> 00:10:07,265
- [yelps]

261
00:10:07,334 --> 00:10:09,267
- Oh, and today's lunch
is macaroni and cheese.

262
00:10:09,336 --> 00:10:10,958
- Clyde!
What are you doing?

263
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,374
- I decided I can't live
a lie anymore, Lincoln.

264
00:10:13,444 --> 00:10:14,962
- Well, I wish you
had realized that

265
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,551
before we scrubbed the toilets,
but I get it.

266
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,726
- McBride, someone was just
on the loudspeaker

267
00:10:19,795 --> 00:10:21,003
impersonating you!

268
00:10:21,072 --> 00:10:23,039
- No, sir, that was me.

269
00:10:23,108 --> 00:10:26,629
I haven't been honest with you.
I actually missed a day.

270
00:10:26,698 --> 00:10:28,320
I'm sorry about everything.

271
00:10:28,389 --> 00:10:30,391
- Hold on now,
cheese and grits.

272
00:10:30,461 --> 00:10:32,635
You never missed a day
of school!

273
00:10:32,704 --> 00:10:34,050
- Yes, I did.

274
00:10:34,119 --> 00:10:36,087
April 5, 2012.
It's in my school journal.

275
00:10:36,156 --> 00:10:38,676
- Well, nobody was at school
that day, sugar dumpling.

276
00:10:38,745 --> 00:10:41,851
That was the great flood
of 2012.

277
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,578
"School closed due
to toilet explosion.

278
00:10:44,647 --> 00:10:48,686
Norm the janitor applies for
emergency leave of absence."

279
00:10:48,755 --> 00:10:51,309
- So my attendance record
is perfect after all?

280
00:10:51,378 --> 00:10:54,899
- As perfect as my mama's plum
pudding on a Christmas morning!

281
00:10:54,968 --> 00:10:56,141
- [sighs happily]

282
00:10:56,210 --> 00:10:57,971
 [purposeful music]

283
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,421
- Well, now that we've
cleared this up,

284
00:11:00,491 --> 00:11:03,321
McBride, there's some cupcakes
that need tasting

285
00:11:03,390 --> 00:11:06,082
in the cafeteria.
- On it, sir!

286
00:11:06,151 --> 00:11:08,119
- He'll probably need
an assist with that.

287
00:11:08,188 --> 00:11:09,948
- Back to class, Loud.

288
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,260
- Dang it.

289
00:11:11,329 --> 00:11:13,055
 [pleasant jazzy music]

290
00:11:13,124 --> 00:11:15,126
- "Amazing day.

291
00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:16,990
"Turns out dreams
you never knew you had

292
00:11:17,059 --> 00:11:19,199
"really can come true.

293
00:11:19,268 --> 00:11:20,614
 "Head itches.

294
00:11:20,683 --> 00:11:23,237
 Better see Nurse Patti
tomorrow."

295
00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:35,940
- Liam, would you be interested
in my hand-cut sushi?

296
00:11:36,009 --> 00:11:37,182
It's yellowtail.

297
00:11:37,251 --> 00:11:38,908
- [chuckles] You know I am!

298
00:11:38,977 --> 00:11:42,498
Hey, you want my deviled eggs?
They're farm-to-table.

299
00:11:42,567 --> 00:11:45,190
- Lincoln, is that
your dad's homemade pudding?

300
00:11:45,259 --> 00:11:47,296
- It is.
What are you offering?

301
00:11:47,365 --> 00:11:50,092
- One bologna sandwich,
fridge-to-table.

302
00:11:50,161 --> 00:11:53,336
- Throw in your buffalo chips,
and we've got a deal.

303
00:11:53,405 --> 00:11:55,994
- So no takers on my tuna kit?

304
00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:58,894
- Your mom's still buying
those, huh?

305
00:11:58,963 --> 00:12:00,827
- Guys, here comes
the new girl--

306
00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:02,656
the one I met on the bus!

307
00:12:02,725 --> 00:12:04,347
 [dreamy doo-wop music]

308
00:12:04,416 --> 00:12:07,765
- Ooh-whee.
She sure is easy on the eyes.

309
00:12:07,834 --> 00:12:09,076
- Oh, yeah.

310
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,044
And I hear she speaks
three languages.

311
00:12:11,113 --> 00:12:12,528
- Have you guys heard
her laugh?

312
00:12:12,597 --> 00:12:14,219
It's so...contagious.

313
00:12:14,288 --> 00:12:17,706
- I like the way
her hair smells.

314
00:12:17,775 --> 00:12:19,155
What?
Too far?

315
00:12:19,224 --> 00:12:21,572
- Here she comes!
Be cool, be cool!

316
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:22,780
- Hey, guys.

317
00:12:22,849 --> 00:12:25,127
Anybody wanna trade
for my carrots?

318
00:12:25,196 --> 00:12:28,164
 [awkward music]

319
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:30,615
- [gulps, chokes]

320
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:32,859
- [yelps, coughs]

321
00:12:32,928 --> 00:12:35,275
- Uh...right.

322
00:12:35,344 --> 00:12:40,901
So, yeah, I'll just, uh...yeah.

323
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:42,523
- Wonder what that
was all about.

324
00:12:42,593 --> 00:12:45,319
- I don't know, but I'm glad
we played it so cool.

325
00:12:47,149 --> 00:12:49,496
- Okay, guys.
Snake formation.

326
00:12:49,565 --> 00:12:50,911
- [hissing]

327
00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:52,223
- Keep an eye out
for Girl Jordan.

328
00:12:52,292 --> 00:12:54,501
Last time, she blindsided us.

329
00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:56,330
- Hey, guys.
What do you have going on here?

330
00:12:56,399 --> 00:12:57,953
Some kind of
defensive maneuver?

331
00:12:58,022 --> 00:12:59,092
Can I get in on this?

332
00:12:59,161 --> 00:13:01,025
 [awkward music]

333
00:13:01,094 --> 00:13:04,787
O...kay.
Well, good luck.

334
00:13:05,512 --> 00:13:08,377
- Seriously, why does she keep
coming over to us?

335
00:13:08,446 --> 00:13:10,517
[grunts]
- Aw, come on, Girl Jordan!

336
00:13:10,586 --> 00:13:12,588
Coach didn't even blow
the whistle yet.

337
00:13:14,245 --> 00:13:15,453
- I think we can all agree

338
00:13:15,522 --> 00:13:16,799
I should handle
the Bunsen burner

339
00:13:16,868 --> 00:13:19,008
after what happened last time.
- Yeah.

340
00:13:19,077 --> 00:13:20,769
Rusty and his aftershave.

341
00:13:20,838 --> 00:13:24,324
- What can I say?
It sets the ladies on fire too.

342
00:13:24,393 --> 00:13:26,498
- Hey, guys.
Need another lab partner?

343
00:13:26,567 --> 00:13:28,328
Otherwise, I have to be
with Mrs. Johnson.

344
00:13:28,397 --> 00:13:31,296
Not that she doesn't seem cool,
but you know what I mean.

345
00:13:37,406 --> 00:13:39,442
- You burned off
my moustache, Zach.

346
00:13:39,511 --> 00:13:41,652
- It was, like,
two hairs, Rusty.

347
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:42,894
- I still don't get it.

348
00:13:42,963 --> 00:13:44,758
Why does Stella keep
coming over to talk to us?

349
00:13:44,827 --> 00:13:46,726
That's three times in one day.

350
00:13:46,795 --> 00:13:48,659
- Maybe she's trying
to sell us a time-share.

351
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:51,800
- [gasps] Maybe she's spying
on us for the CIA!

352
00:13:51,869 --> 00:13:53,733
- Guys, what you don't know
about women

353
00:13:53,802 --> 00:13:55,182
could fill a library.

354
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,529
She obviously has a crush
on one of us.

355
00:13:57,598 --> 00:14:00,636
- Now that you mention it,
I was picking up some vibes.

356
00:14:00,705 --> 00:14:03,501
- [chuckles] Dang!
I wonder who she likes.

357
00:14:03,570 --> 00:14:04,951
- I guess we'll just have
to wait

358
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:06,297
till she makes her next move.

359
00:14:06,366 --> 00:14:09,369
- I hope I have time
to grow back my 'stache.

360
00:14:09,438 --> 00:14:12,544
 [rousing '50s rock music]

361
00:14:12,613 --> 00:14:16,583
 ♪ ♪

362
00:14:16,652 --> 00:14:18,619
Anyone want
some breath spray?

363
00:14:18,689 --> 00:14:22,175
Sour green apple.
It's a total lady-killer.

364
00:14:22,244 --> 00:14:23,521
- I'll take some.

365
00:14:23,590 --> 00:14:25,212
That tuna kit didn't
do much for my breath.

366
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,938
- Here she comes.
Play it cool.

367
00:14:27,007 --> 00:14:28,802
- Hey, guys.

368
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:32,564
Lincoln, do you wanna go to the
Burpin' Burger after school?

369
00:14:32,633 --> 00:14:34,394
- Yes!
I knew it was me!

370
00:14:34,463 --> 00:14:36,637
I mean, sure, I think I'm free.

371
00:14:36,707 --> 00:14:38,605
- Great.
My family's on a health kick,

372
00:14:38,674 --> 00:14:40,918
and I'm really craving
some fries.

373
00:14:40,987 --> 00:14:43,230
I'll meet you by the buses.

374
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,405
- Ah, lucky!
- You dog!

375
00:14:45,474 --> 00:14:48,753
- Congratulations, buddy.
- [scoffs] It's always Lincoln.

376
00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:50,168
- What can I say?

377
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:53,102
I mean, I am having
a really good hair week.

378
00:14:53,413 --> 00:14:55,622
You should've seen her
on that claw machine!

379
00:14:55,691 --> 00:14:58,487
She was a boss.
- Man, she's cool.

380
00:14:58,556 --> 00:15:02,008
- And get this: we both prefer
curly fries to regular.

381
00:15:02,077 --> 00:15:03,664
It's like we're meant
for each other.

382
00:15:03,734 --> 00:15:06,840
- Well, everyone
prefers curly fries.

383
00:15:06,909 --> 00:15:08,186
- Oh, here she comes!

384
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:09,740
 [dreamy doo-wop music]

385
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:13,709
- Probably gonna ask about
date number two, eh, eh?

386
00:15:13,778 --> 00:15:15,780
 ♪ ♪

387
00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,126
- Hey, Rusty.

388
00:15:17,195 --> 00:15:18,403
- Ow!
- Do you wanna go

389
00:15:18,472 --> 00:15:20,681
to the flea market
with me later?

390
00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:24,133
- Totally, totally.
- Cool.

391
00:15:24,202 --> 00:15:25,169
- Gah!

392
00:15:25,238 --> 00:15:26,515
- What was that, man?

393
00:15:26,584 --> 00:15:28,379
Stella and I have
a thing going on.

394
00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:30,001
- What do you want me to say?

395
00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:33,591
I guess she decided she prefers
red sauce over white sauce.

396
00:15:34,247 --> 00:15:35,593
And then we went out
for ice cream,

397
00:15:35,662 --> 00:15:37,837
and it turns out,
we both like waffle cones.

398
00:15:37,906 --> 00:15:40,425
- Well, everyone likes
waffle cones.

399
00:15:40,494 --> 00:15:42,186
- Hey, check it out, Rusty!

400
00:15:42,255 --> 00:15:43,774
 [dreamy doo-wop music]

401
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:46,293
- Probably wants to lock
me down for the whole weekend.

402
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,570
- Hey, Liam.

403
00:15:47,639 --> 00:15:48,917
You wanna go to the mall
after school?

404
00:15:48,986 --> 00:15:51,022
I know this sounds weird,
but I really like

405
00:15:51,091 --> 00:15:53,024
trying on wigs
at the wig store.

406
00:15:53,093 --> 00:15:54,370
- [grunts]

407
00:15:54,439 --> 00:15:56,165
Uh, don't sound weird to me.

408
00:15:56,234 --> 00:15:58,374
I'm in!

409
00:15:58,443 --> 00:15:59,928
- What the heck, Liam?

410
00:15:59,997 --> 00:16:01,446
- Tough break, red sauce.

411
00:16:01,515 --> 00:16:04,277
Guess she's more into
biscuits and gravy now.

412
00:16:04,346 --> 00:16:06,831
 [upbeat music]

413
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:13,907
 ♪ ♪

414
00:16:20,776 --> 00:16:24,400
 ♪ ♪

415
00:16:24,469 --> 00:16:25,885
[groans] I'm so confused.

416
00:16:25,954 --> 00:16:27,990
Why does Stella keep
asking out all of us?

417
00:16:28,059 --> 00:16:29,992
What is her deal?

418
00:16:30,061 --> 00:16:31,062
[TV playing]

419
00:16:31,131 --> 00:16:32,408
- Male sibling lacking melanin,

420
00:16:32,477 --> 00:16:34,548
care to join us in viewing
"The Dream Boat"?

421
00:16:34,617 --> 00:16:36,516
- Eh, I'm not really
in the mood.

422
00:16:36,585 --> 00:16:38,621
 - I'm really torn.

423
00:16:38,690 --> 00:16:40,416
 They're all great guys,

424
00:16:40,485 --> 00:16:43,868
 but I'm still not sure who
I want to be my first mate.

425
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:46,008
 Guess I'll just wait
till one of them

426
00:16:46,077 --> 00:16:48,355
 blows me out of the water.

427
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:51,807
- Oh! So that's
what Stella's doing.

428
00:16:51,876 --> 00:16:52,877
Move over.

429
00:16:54,292 --> 00:16:55,880
[bell rings]

430
00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:58,814
 ['50s rock music]

431
00:16:58,883 --> 00:17:00,298
 ♪ ♪

432
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:01,886
- [sneezes]

433
00:17:01,955 --> 00:17:03,301
- Well, well, well.

434
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,683
Look at you, Mr. Date Khakis.

435
00:17:05,752 --> 00:17:07,719
- It's laundry day.
I couldn't find my jeans.

436
00:17:07,788 --> 00:17:09,825
What about you guys?
- What?

437
00:17:09,894 --> 00:17:12,483
I happened to have a coupon
for teeth whitening.

438
00:17:12,552 --> 00:17:14,519
Ee!
[all exclaim]

439
00:17:14,588 --> 00:17:16,694
- And I always wear
this much cologne.

440
00:17:16,763 --> 00:17:20,180
- And I've been meaning
to ditch my glasses.

441
00:17:20,249 --> 00:17:21,802
- Okay, guys, let's be real.

442
00:17:21,872 --> 00:17:23,770
We all watched
"The Dream Boat" last night,

443
00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:26,048
We know Stella hasn't
decided who she likes,

444
00:17:26,117 --> 00:17:28,809
and we're all trying to
"blow her out of the water."

445
00:17:28,879 --> 00:17:30,225
- You know it!
- Darn tootin'.

446
00:17:30,294 --> 00:17:31,605
- You're right.
- Well, uh,

447
00:17:31,674 --> 00:17:33,400
this is awkward.
- It doesn't have to be.

448
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,126
We can be gentlemen about this.
- Yeah.

449
00:17:35,195 --> 00:17:37,301
- Sure, let's be gentlemen.
- Okay, I see that.

450
00:17:40,304 --> 00:17:42,547
[dance music playing
over headphones]

451
00:17:42,616 --> 00:17:45,033
 [tense music]

452
00:17:45,102 --> 00:17:47,035
- [panting]

453
00:17:47,104 --> 00:17:48,829
Stella!

454
00:17:48,899 --> 00:17:50,348
[grunts]

455
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:53,524
[both panting]

456
00:17:53,593 --> 00:17:56,527
 [rock music]

457
00:17:56,596 --> 00:17:57,977
- Ah! Too bright!

458
00:17:58,046 --> 00:18:03,879
 ♪ ♪

459
00:18:03,948 --> 00:18:05,432
- [shouts]

460
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,918
[grunts]
- Yeah!

461
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:10,713
 ♪ ♪

462
00:18:10,782 --> 00:18:13,061
- Girl Jordan, I'll trade you
my pudding for a meatball.

463
00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:14,786
Thanks!

464
00:18:14,855 --> 00:18:16,340
[shouts]

465
00:18:16,409 --> 00:18:20,378
- [in slow motion] No!

466
00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:22,346
- What?
You said she likes red sauce.

467
00:18:22,415 --> 00:18:25,349
- Low blow, man.
This is dry-clean only.

468
00:18:25,418 --> 00:18:32,632
 ♪ ♪

469
00:18:36,739 --> 00:18:39,950
- In case anyone's interested,
I'm out of the snake formation.

470
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:42,469
- Well, I actually left it
earlier than you.

471
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:43,919
I just didn't tell you.

472
00:18:43,988 --> 00:18:46,335
- The snake formation
is officially dead.

473
00:18:46,404 --> 00:18:48,441
- Fine by me.
- Me too!

474
00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:51,306
[whistle blows]

475
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:52,548
- That's for the meatball.

476
00:18:52,617 --> 00:18:54,585
Ow!
- That's for the mustard.

477
00:18:54,654 --> 00:18:56,552
Oof!
- That's for blinding me.

478
00:18:56,621 --> 00:18:58,727
- Ah!
- Take that!

479
00:18:58,796 --> 00:19:00,660
[all shouting,
punches smacking]

480
00:19:00,729 --> 00:19:02,593
[whistle blows]

481
00:19:04,457 --> 00:19:05,665
- Now, how did this happen?

482
00:19:05,734 --> 00:19:07,736
I thought you boys
had a snake formation.

483
00:19:07,805 --> 00:19:09,324
- Those days are over.

484
00:19:09,393 --> 00:19:10,739
- Well, that's a shame.

485
00:19:10,808 --> 00:19:12,465
I always thought
it was so nice,

486
00:19:12,534 --> 00:19:15,502
the way you all looked out
for each other.

487
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:16,917
- She's right.

488
00:19:16,987 --> 00:19:18,643
What are we doing?
Are we really gonna

489
00:19:18,712 --> 00:19:20,611
throw away our friendship
over a girl?

490
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,130
- Well, that ain't what I want.

491
00:19:22,199 --> 00:19:25,409
- Me neither.
You guys are my support circle.

492
00:19:25,478 --> 00:19:28,274
- I honestly don't think I can
make new friends at this point.

493
00:19:28,343 --> 00:19:31,001
- I can't believe we ever
let things get this far.

494
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:34,349
- And the crazy thing is,
none of this is even our fault.

495
00:19:34,418 --> 00:19:37,386
It's Stella's for pitting us
against each other.

496
00:19:37,455 --> 00:19:38,905
- Yeah.
- You're right!

497
00:19:38,974 --> 00:19:41,080
- I say we go give her
the what for right now.

498
00:19:41,149 --> 00:19:42,426
Snake formation, fellers?

499
00:19:42,495 --> 00:19:45,256
[all hissing]

500
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:47,810
- Stella, we need
to talk to you.

501
00:19:47,879 --> 00:19:49,605
- Oh, hey, guys.
What's up?

502
00:19:49,674 --> 00:19:50,951
- Oh, I think you know.

503
00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:53,368
We're through
with your mind games.

504
00:19:53,437 --> 00:19:54,886
Uh, thanks, Lincoln.

505
00:19:54,955 --> 00:19:57,475
- My what?
- Don't act all innocent.

506
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,270
You nearly broke up
our friendship.

507
00:19:59,339 --> 00:20:01,997
- Asking us all out on dates
then making us compete

508
00:20:02,066 --> 00:20:04,344
to see who would
"blow you out of the water"?

509
00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:07,382
- Blow me out of the water?
What are you talking about?

510
00:20:07,451 --> 00:20:09,039
- Doesn't matter.
We're done.

511
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:10,937
You couldn't choose
one of us for a boyfriend,

512
00:20:11,006 --> 00:20:14,078
so now you don't get any of us.

513
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,115
- [laughs] What?

514
00:20:16,184 --> 00:20:18,462
I'm sorry for laughing.
It's just...

515
00:20:18,531 --> 00:20:20,809
you guys are so off base.

516
00:20:20,878 --> 00:20:23,984
I don't want a boyfriend.
I just wanted to be friends...

517
00:20:24,054 --> 00:20:25,400
with all of you.

518
00:20:25,469 --> 00:20:27,264
- Well, why didn't you just
say that in the first place?

519
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:29,438
- Uh, you may recall that
every time I walked up

520
00:20:29,507 --> 00:20:32,234
to you guys as a group,
you acted like total weirdos.

521
00:20:32,303 --> 00:20:34,857
That's why I was trying to get
to know you one-on-one--

522
00:20:34,926 --> 00:20:37,998
or what you call "dates."
all: Ah.

523
00:20:38,068 --> 00:20:40,104
- You know, maybe
this was a bad idea.

524
00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:41,657
It seems like you guys
just can't handle

525
00:20:41,726 --> 00:20:43,349
being friends with a girl.

526
00:20:43,418 --> 00:20:46,559
I'm gonna go hang out with
my lab partner, Mrs. Johnson.

527
00:20:46,628 --> 00:20:48,837
- Oh, man, we really messed up.

528
00:20:48,906 --> 00:20:50,977
- It's too bad,
'cause Stella's really fun.

529
00:20:51,046 --> 00:20:53,600
I was hoping she'd teach me
how to master the claw machine.

530
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,637
- Yeah, and I was hoping
she'd help me pick out

531
00:20:55,706 --> 00:20:57,087
a wig for my mee-maw.

532
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,812
- And she would've made
a great addition

533
00:20:58,881 --> 00:21:01,229
to our snake formation.
She could've been the rattle.

534
00:21:01,298 --> 00:21:03,610
- Well, maybe if we go
tell her how sorry we are,

535
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,509
she'll give us another chance.

536
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:10,410
Hey, Stella, we just wanna
apologize for how we acted.

537
00:21:10,479 --> 00:21:12,102
- Yeah.
You were right.

538
00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:14,104
Just 'cause you're a gal
and we're fellers

539
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:16,830
don't mean you had to be
fixing for a romance.

540
00:21:16,899 --> 00:21:19,695
- What we don't know about
women could fill a library.

541
00:21:19,764 --> 00:21:21,283
- We just hope
you can forgive us,

542
00:21:21,352 --> 00:21:23,596
because we all really liked
hanging out with you--

543
00:21:23,665 --> 00:21:26,426
as a friend.

544
00:21:26,495 --> 00:21:29,188
Um, okay, well, that's cool.

545
00:21:29,257 --> 00:21:33,192
I guess we'll just,
uh, see you around.

546
00:21:33,261 --> 00:21:34,469
- Hang on.

547
00:21:34,538 --> 00:21:36,195
Lincoln, what's in
that thermos?

548
00:21:36,264 --> 00:21:38,714
- My dad's homemade
tomato soup.

549
00:21:38,783 --> 00:21:40,440
- I'll trade you
my fruit salad for it.

550
00:21:40,509 --> 00:21:42,097
- Deal!

551
00:21:42,166 --> 00:21:44,548
- Hey, how about swapping
them there rice cakes

552
00:21:44,617 --> 00:21:46,653
for some hush puppies?
- Definitely.

553
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,138
- Any chance you'd trade
your juice box

554
00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:50,312
for a tuna kit?
- Sorry, dude.

555
00:21:50,381 --> 00:21:53,350
That's where I draw the line.
[laughter]

556
00:21:54,558 --> 00:21:57,112
- After lunch, we can work out
our new snake formation.

557
00:21:57,181 --> 00:21:58,941
- Just wanna throw
it out there:

558
00:21:59,010 --> 00:22:01,875
have you guys ever considered
a scorpion formation?

559
00:22:01,944 --> 00:22:04,809
It's 22% more effective.

560
00:22:04,878 --> 00:22:07,157
boys: Ooh!
- We're listening.

561
00:22:10,263 --> 00:22:11,885
 - ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

562
00:22:11,954 --> 00:22:13,611
 ♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

563
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,889
 ♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

564
00:22:15,958 --> 00:22:18,685
 - ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

565
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:22,689
 ♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

566
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,243
 - ♪ Loud house ♪

567
00:22:24,312 --> 00:22:26,003
 ♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

568
00:22:26,072 --> 00:22:27,315
 ♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

569
00:22:27,384 --> 00:22:28,695
 ♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

570
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:29,938
 ♪ Never any privacy ♪

571
00:22:30,007 --> 00:22:32,078
 ♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪

572
00:22:32,147 --> 00:22:34,563
 ♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

573
00:22:34,632 --> 00:22:36,116
 ♪ In the Loud house ♪