- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪
♪ Loud house ♪
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
[banjo music]
- You may be wondering,
"Who's the cool new guy in the Loud house?"
It's me, Lincoln!
And I can't wait to tell you why I've changed my look.
See-- - Lincoln!
Are you ready to introduce yourself
to the new girl today?
- Or Clyde can tell you.
That's an affirmative.
I'm all set.
Got my new threads...
[cat roars] A temporary tat...
and a list of hip slang that I picked up
from a teen magazine.
- That's great, buddy,
but do you really need all that?
You're already cool.
You jumped that puddle on your bike the other day.
- Well, from the way she wears that bow in her hair,
the new girl seems super cool, so I gotta up my game.
[static sizzles] - I hear you.
And you only get one chance
to make a good first impression.
If you blow this, you'll have to wait
for another girl to move to town,
and who knows when that'll be?
- Thank you for that added pressure.
- Don't mention it.
So, what's the plan?
- I'm gonna catch her on the bus this morning
so I can have some one-on-one time with her.
- Good thinking. You need a wingman?
- Thanks, but there are some things a man must do alone.
- I get that.
I said the same thing to my dads
the first time I used a public restroom.
Good luck, buddy.
- And now I have just one last obstacle:
to get out of the house before my sisters
figure out what I'm up to.
[crrrick]
[tinkling]
sisters: Hold it!
- Heeey!
Mornin', ladies.
- Did you really think we wouldn't notice
that you're dressed like a stereotypical
Hollywood representation of a 1950s greaser?
- This is gel, not grease.
And besides, can't a guy wear
something different to school for a change?
- Not in this house. - Now, what's the sitch, bro?
- There is no sitch!
- Lincoln, come in!
I thought of some topics for you to discuss
with the new girl.
all: New girl?
- Like corn nuts.
Are they corn, or are they nuts?
Discuss.
- Not now, Clyde.
I gotta call you back.
- So you thought you'd impress the new girl by wearing this?
- No. No, no, no.
I don't need your help.
I've got it all planned out.
- Lincoln? - No!
I'm sure you have your own plan
and want to tell me what to do,
but the last time I took your girl advice,
I ended up with a black eye.
[upbeat funk music]
[lips pucker] all: Aww!
[thwack]
all: Oh!
- But Lincoln-- - No.
I've only got one chance
to make a good first impression,
and I want to do it my way.
all: Lincoln! - Look! Free pizza!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Whew. Hope I didn't stink up the jacket.
I'll hide here until the bus comes.
Hey, there, little guy.
♪ ♪
[rabbits rustling]
Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five?
Man, that's a lot of sisters.
I can't even imagine what that would be like.
- Hey, Lincoln! - [grunts]
[groans]
[ascending harp twinkles]
[crrrick]
[tinkling]
sisters: Hold it!
- Heeey!
Mornin', ladies.
- Why are you dressed like a hoodlum
from the wrong side of the forest?
- Yeah! What's the sitch?
- There is no sitch.
- Warren, come in. It's Danny.
I thought of some topics for you to discuss
with the new girl.
all: New girl?
- Like this. Butter lettuce.
Is it butter, or is it lettuce?Discuss.
- Danny, I'll call you back. [phone beeps]
- Tell us everything about her.
- There's nothing to tell,Betty.
It's just a new girl at school.
- I hate her already.
- You don't even know her,Brenda.
- Neither do you. That's why we're helping.
Ooh! I love matchmaking.
- What's the use?
Life's just an endless stretch of misery,
occasionally brightened by despair.
- I think your chakras need some, like, realignment, Bella.
- Look, guys, I've captured the moment in oils.
I call it "Portrait of a Clueless Boy
Being Saved by His Sisters."
- Guys! I don't need your help.
[phone chiming]
"Yes, you do"?
No, I don't, Bridget!
- Yes, you do.
By my calculations, the chances of you
successfully courting said new girl
without our help are an abysmal 25 to 1.
- Yeah. I'm quite used to those odds.
- Well, what if your plan doesn't work?
What if you ruin your only chance
to make a good first impression?
What if you grow old and alone?
What if I grow old and alone?
What if the world ends tomorrow?
What if-- - Guys.
I'm running out of time.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm leaving.
- Oh, yeah, mate?
And just 'ow do you plan on gettin' past the 25 of us?
- Well, I plan to...
ruuun!
- Get him!
- This calls for some chase music!
[upbeat rock music]
- I didn't have this on my to-do list for the day,
but what the heck?
- Warren, you stop running this instant,
or I'm telling Mom!
♪ ♪
- [panting]
Look! Shiny object!
- Ooh! Where? Huh?
[brakes screech]
- Grab him, Beth!
- [snoring] - Beth!
- Huh? What?[snores]
[whistle trills] - Ugh! Beth! Get in the game!
- Go... [yawns, snores]
♪ ♪
- Yee-haw!
Rope them doggies!
- Ah!
- Gotcha. - Put me down, Bertha!
[nose honks]
- What a hare-raising development!
[laughs] Get it?
[all groan]
- Oh, Warren, honey,
you're going about this all wrong.
- Totes. all: Yeah!
- Give me those back!
I need to look cool.
- Please. Girls don't want a cool guy.
Warren, what girls really want is a sensitive guy.
- Ditch the leather and go with lavender.
It's a much better match for your fur tones.
- Read her a poem.
- Offer to share a healthy and delicious kelp smoothie.
- But check her allergiesfirst.
- Take this rabbit's foot for luck.
all: Ew!
- Compliment her clothes.
- Compliment her eyes. - But--
- Be kind. - But--
- Be romantic. - But--
- Be present.
- But-- - Now, go!
- [sighs]
[wistful music]
♪ ♪
[alarm bell rings]
Hey. Hi.
You're new to Royal Woods, aren't you?
I've been watching you for days.
- Uh, what?
- I-I mean, I've been meaning to introduce myself.
I'm Warren.
- Oh. Nice to meet you, Warren.
- I like how big your ears are.
- They're big? - No! No.
Uh, you'll grow into them.
I mean, do you like poems?
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou fart more lovely--" I-I mean, "thou art more."
What do you think about butter lettuce?
- You know, I just remembered, I forgot my backpack.
- Wait! Want to share a kelp smoothie?
- Um, sure. Why not?
- Great! Oh, wait.
Before you drink any,
do you have any allergies?
'Cause I'd hate to see you break out
in pus-filled blisters.
- Ew! On second thought, no, thanks.
- Are you sure? It's really delicious.
Blegh! It tastes like manure.
Bleh! [alarm bell rings]
Sorry. I'm sure I have a hankie.
Oh, whoops. That's not it.
- Ew! Is that a rabbit's foot?
- What? No! Just a fuzzy mozzarella stick.
Sorry. Let me help you.
Uh, that stain ought to come out just fine.
If not, you'll have an excuse to get a new dress.
Orange totally clashes with your fur tones anyways.
- What? - Is this creep bothering you?
- Yes.
- Hey. Lavender shirt.
Don't you know it ain't cool to upset a lady?
- But I was just-- - Take a hike.
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
- I like your leather jacket.
You're so cool.
[giggles]
[rockabilly music]
[melancholy music]
- [sighs]
- So... how'd it go?
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Ah, you don't have to.
I watched the whole thing from the bushes.
- So much for making a good first impression.
- It's okay, pal.
I'm sure a new bunny will move to the woods soon...
well, once our coyote population goes down.
- [sighs]
- I don't understand why you changed your plan.
Why did you dress like that and say those things
and make horse poop smoothies?
- Believe me, I didn't want to change my plan.
But then my sisters came along,
and, well, you know how they are.
- I know how Betty is.
[romantic music]
- Are you picturing her hopping through the woods
in slo-mo again?
- Whaaat? No.
- A lot of good you did me.
Ah! [grunts]
[ascending harp twinkles]
Wow. What a nightmare.
I was definitely right to run away from my sisters.
They would've ruined everything.
[rabbits squeaking]
[rustling]
Don't listen to them! They'll ruin everything!
They don't know what they're doing.
[rabbits squeak]
Whoa. Maybe they do know what they're doing.
[gasps] Which means maybe
my sisters know what they're doing.
Which means maybe their plan's better than mine.
Which means maybe I should stop talking to myself
because I only have five minutes to find them
before the bus arrives!
Oh, no! I'm too late!
They're gone. [horn honks]
Ah! I'm gonna miss my big chance!
[Lori clears throat]
Oh, thank goodness you haven't left yet.
Look, I was wrong. I want your help.
My plan is going to fail. Tell me your plan.
Tell me what to do! - Lincoln--
- Tell me what to wear. - Lincoln--
- Tell me how to act! - Lincoln!
- Tell me what to say! all: Lincoln!
- What?
- We weren't going to tell you any of those things.
- What? Why? You didn't want to change me?
- No. We wanted to know why you changed yourself.
- I just...
♪ ♪
I just thought...
- Lincoln, you're perfect just the way you are.
- You're kind. - You're fashionable.
- You're rockin'. - You're funny.
- You're tough. - You're deep.
both: You're friendly. - You're smart.
- You Yincoln Youd.
- Now, give me that jacket.
And go out there, and just be you.
Ah! I can still make it.
[dramatic music]
[panting]
Wait!
[children laughing]
[laughter]
- You almost missed it! - Just made it.
[upbeat rock music]
- Hello. Um, my, uh, name is Lincoln Loud.
- Nice to meet you, Lincoln Loud.
- So, you're new to Royal Woods?
- Yeah, it's lonely being the new kid in town.
- Maybe you just haven't met the right people yet.
- Would you like to sit down?
Um, I didn't think you were gonna catch the bus.
- Yeah. Good thing I'm dressed like a caution cone,
or the driver never would've seen me.
- [laughs] You're funny, Lincoln Loud.
Carrot stick?
- Thanks.
Oh, by the way, what's your name?
♪ ♪
[wistful music]
[rabbits squeaking]
[festive orchestral music]
♪ ♪
all: They're here!
- It's a big night at the Loud house.
Pop Pop's coming to dinner,
and he's bringing a very special guest.
[doorbell dings]
- Hey, family!
I'd like you all to meet my main squeeze, Myrtle.
- Nice to meet you, Myrtle.
Let me introduce everyone.
- Oh, no need.
Let me see if I have this right...
Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn,
Lincoln, Lucy, Lana,
Lola, Lisa, and Lily.
- [giggles]
- Wow. In birth order!
That's impressive.
- Well, what's impressive is raising
such delightful children.
Albert, can you get my coat?
♪ ♪
Mmm, mmm, mmm. Oh, Lynn.
Your food is just heavenly.
- Oh, you're sweet to say that.
- Not as sweet as this corn!
- [laughs]
I can't have any 'cause I have braces.
- Well, the world better brace itself for your pretty smile.
[both laugh]
Oh, Lynn Jr.
Are those your trophies?
Pop Pop said you were named MVP on six different teams.
- Well, technically seven,
but they don't recognize air hockey yet.
- Has my paternal forebearer familiarized you
with my achievements?
- Oh, you bet.
He told me all about your fecal research.
Impressive stuff.
- Would you like to see some slides?
- Maybe after dinner, sweetie.
- So this is Ace Savvy,
and here's his partner, One-Eyed Jack.
- Card puns? How clever!
- Sorry to break up the fun,
but Myrtle and I should get going.
all: Aww!
- Oh, I'm sorry I didn't get to sample your mud pies, Lana.
- It's okay. Made you one for the road.
Don't forget to heat before serving.
- Thank you for everything.
Oh, it was so wonderful meeting you all.
all: Bye!
- See you later! - Come back soon!
- [chuckles]
I might just take you upon that.
- Isn't she great?
Good thing I stole her away from Seymour.
That hound dog had his eye on her.
- Yeah. His left one. Buh-bye!
[both laugh]
- She was so nice. - I loved her!
- Myrtle, wait!
My fecal slides!
Ah!
[all scream] [loud clang]
[indistinct chatter]
- Oh, hi, fam!
I found your hide-a-key.
- Uh, wasn't it under the thornbushes?
- Also, I found your bandages.
I just couldn't wait to get back over here
and spend some more time with my 11 new grandkids.
Speaking of which... surprise!
I made these with my glue gun.
- "Life is sweeter with a Gran Gran"?
Was your room well ventilated when you worked with this glue?
-I was thinking that maybe you kids could call me Gran Gran.
Why don't you try 'em on?
Aww! You look so cute.
Now, come on!
I have even more surprises.
- [hisses]
What have you done with my cobwebs?
- Oh, sweetie.
I tore them all down,
'cause they had spiders in them.
- Yes. Elijah, Amaria, and Little Jojo.
May they rest in peace.
- Uh, where are my lucky jerseys?
They should be in a big messy pile right here.
- I took 'em to the dry cleaners.
They got every last stain out.
- [groans]
So everything that made them lucky.
- Well, who needs luck when you have talent like yours?
- In conclusion, I have identified
the necessary isotope for--
- Ooh! You're talking to your little science friends?
Hi! I'm Lisa's Gran Gran.
- Yes... we're in the middle
of something important right now.
Perhaps you could excuse us.
- Oh, you know what, you just do your thing
like I'm not even here.
And I'll just be tidying up.
- I-I prefer you don't!
- Ooh! These beakers are full of junk!
- No! Wait! [explosion]
[crowd gasps]
- I usually have a barber do this...
- Well, why pay a stranger when you've got a Gran Gran?
There! Ah! You look so handsome!
- That haircut really bowls me over!
- Spit shine!
Ah, there. No mud. No makeup.
Just sparkling faces
that I could eat right now with some steak sauce.
Om-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.
[TV warbles] - Um, what happened
to our episodes of "Nail Polish Wars"?
- Oh, I deleted those. [Lori and Leni scream]
Yeah, see, the language is just so negative.
♪ ♪
Adios, grandbabies!
See you real soon!
- That woman is a nightmare.
- No way I'm calling her Gran Gran.
- It gets worse! Look. She left her day planner.
- [gasps] She's coming to all my games
for the rest of the season?
- My conference in Sweden?
How did she get clearance?
- She's coming on my next date with Bobby?
- We have to do something.
We can't live like this!
- You especially can't, brah.
- Well... there is one thing we could do.
Break them up.
- Lola! - That's terrible!
- Is it, though?
I mean, Pop Pop is such an awesome guy.
Should he really settle for someone like Myrtle?
- She has a point.
- Well, even if we wanted to do that,
how would we?
- I might have an idea.
Remember when Pop Pop said
that Seymour had his eye on Myrtle?
- Yeah, the left one. - Maybe that's our answer.
- I made this whole pitcher of lemonade for my grandpa,
but he's got acid reflux.
Whatever shall I do with it?
- Ooh! I'll take a glass.
- Here you are, Mr. Seymour, sir!
- Ooh! Tart.
[camera shutter clicks]
- Oh, my soup's literally too hot!
How am I ever going to eat it?
- Oh, let me help, dear.
[camera shutter clicks]
- And now to make a love connection.
♪ ♪
Bingo.
- Um, Lincoln, Bingo's not till 4:00.
- Rad job, dude.
That's gonna make Pop Pop way jealous.
- I bet he breaks it off with her tonight!
- Okay, Lynn. You're up.
[mysterious music]
♪ ♪
- Man, what's taking Lynn so long?
- Hai! all: Ah!
- Mission accomplished.
- Okay, let's get out of here before anyone sees us.
[tapping] - Too late!
I see you!
all: Ah! [alarm bell rings]
- Oh, you angels came
for my birthday party, didn't you?
- Uh... - Of course!
- Yeah, uh-huh!
- Well, here we are. Party central.
As soon as your Pop Pop gets here,
we can get this shindig started.
- Shouldn't we wait for the other guests too?
- Oh, no other guests.
- What about your family?
- Well, I don't really have any.
I was an only child, and somehow,
I never got around to getting hitched.
I was just too busy traveling and living my life.
To be honest, I never really missed having a family,
until I met your Pop Pop and you guys,
and, well, I know you're not my real family,
but gosh darn, you all sure feel like it.
- Um, Myrtle, can you excuse us for a second?
We, um, all have to go to the bathroom.
- You take after your Pop Pop.
- Okay, what gives, Lori? I don't have to tinkle!
- Don't you guys get it?
This is why Myrtle's been smothering us so much.
She never had a family of her own.
She's probably just trying to make up for lost time.
Yes, she can come on a little strong,
but her heart's in the right place.
- I feel terrible. - Me too.
- We should go apologize.
- Uh, guys? We have a bigger problem.
We put that photo under Pop Pop's door.
all: Ah! - Okay. New plan.
Twins, you distract Myrtle.
Lynn and Lincoln, you get the photo back.
The rest of us will find Pop Pop
and keep him away from his room.
Break!
- Let's move out, Lincoln.
- Hey, when did you change into your ninja suit?
- What happened to your bowl cut?
- Touché. - Hai!
- [grunts]
[suspenseful music]
Whoa! Ooh.
- Locked. Not a problem.
I got this.
Ha!
Thanks, lady.
- Oh, no! He's already seen it!
- Help! Someone call this maniac off!
[both gasp]
- I knew you had your eye on my girl!
- That's not true.
The left one's got a mind of its own.
- Pictures don't lie, Seymour.
And now I'm gonna take it to ya.
- You're a crazy man!
- Ya!
- Pop Pop, stop!
- Stay out of this, kids.
Mr. Kissy Face has it coming.
Rah!
- Dang it.
both: Pop Pop!
- Let him go! - Let him go!
- What is going on? all: Pop Pop!
- Call Sue!
Call anybody!
- Geezer fight!
I got 50 bucks on Al.
- Ha! - Pop Pop, no!
The photo's fake!
- What? - It's true.
We made it on our computer.
- Why in the heck would you do something like that?
- The truth is, we were trying to break you and Myrtle up.
- Don't you like Myrtle?
- I think we just didn't understand her.
- She was smothering us like a pork chop.
But we didn't realize it was because she never had a family.
- We may take it for granted that we have a big family,
but not everybody's so lucky.
- We're really sorry for the way we acted.
We hope you can forgive us.
- Of course I can.
I know Myrtle can be a bit much,
but that's also what I love about her.
She's a spitfire.
- Ugh, bleh.
This is gettin' too mushy for me.
Scoots out.
- Seymour, I think I owe you an apology too.
- Nah, don't worry about it, Al.
- Don't we have a birthday party to get to?
- You know it! - Can I come too?
- You're gonna have to, Seymour.
I can't move my arms anymore!
[laughter]
children: Happy birthday, Gran Gran!
- Did you hear that, Al?
They called me Gran Gran!
Oh, thank you, everyone.
- Thanks for the cake and the party, Gran Gran.
But we should probably get going.
- Okay, then, I'll drop by tomorrow.
- Uh... how about Sunday instead?
I got us tickets to the RV show tomorrow.
- Oh![laughs]
children: Bye, Gran Gran! - Happy birthday!
- Seymour! Quit eyein' my cake!
You already had your piece!
- I can't help it!
The left one's got a mind of its own.
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy ♪
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪