- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat music]
♪
- Two tickets, please.
- And two programs.
- Whoa. Check this out.
There's gonna be a panel of Ace's arch enemies.
I hope the Old Maid is there.
- And I have some questions for the Flash Card.
There's a rumor he's getting his own spin-off.
- Clyde and I are going to the Ace Savvy Convention tomorrow.
It's one of the most sacred Clincoln McCloud traditions.
- Hey, there's Lance and Trent.
Hey, guys. Picking up tickets
for the convention? - Nah.
But my little brother is. We're just waiting
while he's in line.
- Hello, boys.
Who wants a picture with their old pal Ace?
[both gasp] - No thanks, dude.
We're a little past our Ace Savvy phase.
- Yeah, we gave that up when we were seven.
- No big deal.
Guess it's just not in the cards.
- And that's why we gave it up.
[scoffs] So dorky.
- So what are you guys doing here?
- Uh, us?
Uh, just hanging at the mall.
Like guys do.
- Yeah, you know, looking for chicks,
buying aftershave-- mature stuff.
- Cool.
Well, uh, see you in school Monday.
- Oh, no, Lincoln. Do you think they're right?
Are we too old for Ace Savvy?
[children laughing]
- Huh. I guess we are the oldest kids here.
- And we have outgrown our costumes a little.
[both struggling]
[cat yelps]
- And according to the program,
we're too tall for the Bounce House of Cards.
Wow. Maybe we are too old for Ace
and we've just been blind to it.
- Maybe. But what are we gonna do?
Quit Ace? It's what brought us together
in the first place.
- Lynn, wait up!
Mom said you have to stay with me.
Ah! [both grunt]
Oh, jeez. I'm sorry.
Here, use my cape.
Ace Savvy is always ready to lend a hand.
- Thanks. I'm Clyde.
What's your name?
Dang it. That story gets me every time.
- I know Ace brought us together,
but, Clyde, we were five years old.
Maybe it's time we move on and find new hobbies,
stuff that's more for kids our age.
- Dr. Lopez does say I can't move forward
if I'm always looking in the rearview mirror.
Let's do it. - Aces.
Sorry. Starting now.
Okay, I've done some research, and apparently skateboarding
is an appropriate hobby for 11-year-olds.
[rock music]
Hey, I'm doing it. Give it a try, Clyde.
- Here I go. Whoa!
- Whoa!
[both grunt]
- According to my research,
kids our age really like fishing.
And bonus, we can cook and eat what we catch.
- I packed us some sandwiches, but okay.
Ooh, I think I got something!
- Reel it in! That's our lunch.
[both scream]
- Ahh! Get it out!
- [gasps] Well, the important thing is,
we caught one. - Yeah.
And we still have our sandwiches for lunch.
- [growls]
- Okay, Clyde. Technically, this next hobby
is for 17-year-olds,
but I thought we could get a head start.
Hey, Lana. Think you could teach us some car repair stuff?
- [laughing]
Oh. You're serious.
Uh, sure.
So, uh, I was just giving this baby a tune-up.
As you can see, the timing belt's
a little worn away over here, which is a problem,
because then your water pump's gonna need to be replaced.
- What's this do? - Don't touch that!
- Why not?
[all yelling]
- All good mechanics probably get burned on their first day.
- Oh, for sure.
Could you pass me some more frozen tilapia?
Are you sure we need to get rid of our Ace Savvy stuff?
- I know it hurts, buddy.
But now that we have new hobbies,
we just don't need it anymore.
- Tell that to my One-Eyed Jack action figure.
He's giving me his signature death glare.
[sighs]
Flip's Food and Fuel?
I thought we were going to a pawnshop.
- We were.
I guess I wrote down the wrong address.
- No, you didn't, chief. You've come to the right place.
- Pat's Pawn and Prawns?
Who's Pat?
- You're looking at him.
Name's Pat. I'm Pat.
It says here, "Pat."
[upbeat music]
[munching]
Uh, let's see here.
Eh, I'll give you ten bucks for the whole shebang.
- Ten bucks?
- Take it or leave it. Pat's a busy guy.
- Fine. Wait, Clyde.
We still have our tickets to the convention.
- [sighs] I guess we should sell those too.
- You're in luck. That's my other business.
[cheery music]
Welcome to Tucker's Tix and Tux.
- I don't know about you, Clyde,
but I am loving our new hobbies.
- Me too, buddy. I am not looking
in the rearview mirror anymore.
Well, I am, but that's just for safety.
Uh, just realized I forgot my aftershave this morning.
I should go to the bathroom and dab some on.
- [mimicking fighting]
- Hi there. Mind if I join?
- Oh, sure. You can be Ace.
- Well, usually I'm Jack.
[mimicking flying]
- [evil laughter]
Looks like I've got the upper hand, Ace.
both: Think again, Flash Card. No one makes Ace Savvy fold.
- Sorry, I just really love this episode.
You mind turning up the brightness?
[both gasp]
- Sorry it took so long. Got to the bathroom,
and I realized I hadn't shaved.
So I had to do that first.
- No problem.
I, uh, was over at the pond,
talking bait with some fishermen.
- Just two guys checking out mufflers.
What an age-appropriate way to spend a Saturday.
- Totally. I don't feel bad at all
for missing the convention today.
Ah, here's a beauty.
I bet it really... muffles.
[kids laughing]
[coughing]
Ah, I got to go use the-- [coughs]
Bathroom. Bug flew into my throat.
- A bug? Are you okay?
What were its markings? - [coughing]
I didn't see it. I just tasted it.
[coughs] Ugh, be right back.
[laughing]
- [sniffing] Huh.
There is a difference between Douglas fir and evergreen.
[kids laughing] - Cool! Ace!
- So I threw Wild Card Willy in the clink,
then shuffled off to the Fortress of Solitaire.
- No way. - Sweet.
- Excuse me, Mr. Savvy? Big fan here.
Can I get a quick photo?
Now, I just have a few questions.
Starting with episode one...
- Sorry that took so long.
That bug was really stuck in there good.
- That's okay. A bug actually flew
into my mouth too. I went to a different bathroom.
Well, guess it's time to buy one of those mufflers.
- I can't wait to see the Old Maid
on the villain panel.
- Me too. I hope she brings her evil cat.
[both laughing]
- Kids, right?
- So glad we're past all that dorky stuff.
- Let's go grind or-- or shred or--
you know, whatever it's called.
both: Nope.
No.
[gasping] Jackpot.
We've got two of a kind!
- And then Lynn came out of nowhere and roller-skated
right over him. - It's okay.
I can fix him. Though I'm not sure
he'll ever shuffle again.
- Dad, One-Eyed Jack and I have solved the case
of the missing bologna. [cat meows]
- We've got the culprit right here.
- Good work, boys. You've done it again.
both: Ace and Jack forever!
- Clyde, I can't do this anymore.
So what if we're too old for Ace?
I'm just not ready to give him up.
- Me neither.
I don't care what Dr. Lopez says.
Please don't tell her I said that.
I don't want to hurt her feelings.
- Clearly, this makes us happy.
So I say we enjoy it as long as we want to.
Let's go get our stuff back. - And our tickets.
We can still make the convention.
Let's just hope Pat and Tucker are both working today.
Here's the money you paid us for the tickets.
We'd like to buy them back.
- Hold up, chief. Price has changed.
You're forgetting about the handling fee,
the storage fee, and the resale fee.
[both groan]
- Hey. I'm the nice guy here.
Wait till you try to get your toys back.
Then you're gonna have to deal with Pat,
and he's in a mood.
- How about we trade you a new muffler for them?
[cash register dings]
- Clyde, that was so cool
when the Flash Card said you asked him a good question.
- I know. I don't even mind that he called me "Clad."
Look, there's some kids from Lori's class.
- [laughing]
- How do you know that? - No reason.
I'm not saying I memorized her yearbook or anything.
- Uh, they must be here
with their little brothers and sisters.
- Oh, jeez. They're walking this way.
Get ready to be teased.
- Stand tall, Clyde. We can get through this.
- Hey, One-Eyed Jack, that utility belt is rad.
What booth did you get that at?
- Oh, actually, I made it.
- No way! The detail is amazing.
- Thanks. It even fires poker chips.
- Sick. - Wait.
You guys are into Ace Savvy?
- Yeah. What do you think we're doing here?
- We've been into Ace since we were, like, seven.
- Really? You never felt like you were too old?
- No way. We'll never be too old for Ace.
- Look! They're selling One-Eyed Flap Jacks.
We got to go snag some.
- You guys want to join? both: Yeah.
- Hey, Clyde. Can you spot me some money?
I spent all of mine on mufflers.
- No problem, buddy. One-Eyed Jack is always ready
to lend a hand.
[rock music]
♪
[pummeling and yelling]
[police siren wailing]
- Police! Open up.
- You're probably wondering, "What did you guys do now?"
Well, to explain, I have to go back a few days.
You know us Louds.
We're notorious for fighting over everything,
which usually leaves us with nothing.
- Okay, we need some tunes for the ride.
What should it be? - Rock.
- Love songs. - The sports station.
- West Coast rap.
[all yelling at once]
[air horn blares]
- If you kids can't decide, your father and I
will decide for you.
[banjo music]
both: Yee-haw!
[all groan]
- Kids, I'm off to the grocery store.
Any requests for dinner?
[rumbling] - Sardines.
- Chicken nuggets. - Bean chips.
- Banana cream pie!
- Ahh!
- Worms!
The butcher usually sets some aside for me.
[all yelling at once]
[air horn blares]
- If you guys can't decide, I'll decide for you.
Goulash it is.
[all groan]
[all yelling at once]
- [sighs] Time for "ARGGH!"
[gasps] Oof.
- You mean "Vampires of Melancholia."
Ah! - You mean "Prison Pageants."
- [growls] Basketball.
[pummeling and yelling]
- You guys can't be remotely serious.
[laughing] But really,
I want to watch the Circus Channel.
[all yelling at once]
[air horn blares] - Well, if you kids
are going to fight, I'll take the remote.
Thank you.
- Now we just wait and watch it grow.
[birds chirping]
[all groan]
- But then I discovered
that to get what you want in this family,
you don't necessarily have to fight.
[baseball fanfare]
- Uh, Lynn, I usually watch "ARGGH!" after school.
- Ah, no problem, Lincoln.
Only 6 1/2 innings left in this game.
[both cheering]
- Mom, I usually watch "ARGGH!" after school.
- I know, Lincoln, but let Lynn watch her game today, okay?
She has a friend over.
- A friend, you say?
I called my discovery "playing the friend card."
It means Mom and Dad give you special privileges
if you have a friend over.
I'm pretty sure my siblings weren't aware of it.
But now I was.
- Move it, Lincoln.
We're watching "The Dream Boat."
- Uh, girls, let Lincoln watch "ARGGH!"
He has a friend over.
[both groan]- Sigh.
- Guys, I'm baking cookies. Who wants to lick the beaters?
[rumbling]
all: I do, I do!
- Get out of my way,
or I'll find you in your cell after lights out.
- Lola, you really got to stop watching those prison shows.
- Girls, Lincoln has a friend over.
Let them have the beaters.
- Drop it, Stinkin'. We have dibs.
- Girls, let Lincoln play. He has a friend over.
[both whistling]
- Dinner is served.
- Chicken nuggets? Bogus, dude.
I asked for bangers and mash.
- And I clearly recall requesting sardines.
I'm low on my omega-3s.
- Well, Lincoln has a friend over,
so Clyde got to pick tonight's dinner.
- And I suggested chicken nuggets.
- And I said that was a great idea.
- I call this emergency sibling meeting to order.
Something stinks in this household.
And I'm not referring to our collective
chicken nugget breath.
According to my calculations, there is a direct correlation
between the amount of time Clyde has been over
and the number of privileges accrued by Lincoln.
Someone who fancies himself a wit
might call this "playing the friend card."
[all gasp] - You are so right, sis.
- I got this. During guard change,
I'll sneak up on him in the shower.
- Uh, sister, that won't be necessary.
I have another plan.
- I can't wait to watch "ARGGH!"
- Me too. I hope Hunter can escape
from that haunted port-a-potty.
- You boys want to join me and Roxanne for "Prison Pageants?"
- Mom!
Lola's watching TV,
but Clyde and I are supposed to watch "ARGGH!"
- Sorry, honey. Let Lola watch her show.
She has a friend over.
- But I have a friend over too.
- True, but Lola got to the TV first.
[guitars strumming]
- We may not get the TV,
but at least we can have some cookies.
- All out, brah.
Dad said Sam and I had first dibs.
- We may not have the TV or the cookies,
but at least we can choose lunch.
Hey, Dad, Clyde said he would love franks and beans today.
- Well, Lincoln suggested it, but I agreed.
- Sorry, guys. Lunch is already made.
- Yeah. - Ahh!
- My friend Haiku is staying for lunch
and requested blood sausage.
[bird caws] - Friend? I don't see a--
ahh!
- Okay, we may not have the TV, or cookies,
or the lunch we want,
but we can still play badminton.
- Sorry, Lincoln. Whitney and I have the court.
I'm onto you, buster. And in case you thought
you were getting any other privileges today,
everyone else is onto you too.
- [gasps]
[both gasp] - Yikes.
That's a lot of kids. You want to hide at the mall
for a few hours? - Do I?
It'll be quieter and less crowded.
- My sisters had discovered "the friend card."
But they forgot that Lincoln Loud
is the man with the plan.
So I just came up with a way to outsmart them.
- Whoo-whoo! Doubleheader time.
- We'll be watching "ARGGH!" Thanks.
- [chuckles] In your dreams.
I have a friend over,so, uh--
- Yes, you have one friend over.
But I have two. And two is greater than one.
[girls scream]
[rock music]
- Guess what, Lincoln? I can do math too.
And three is greater than two.
[boys scream]
[laughter]
- Hey, Sam and I had dibs on that popcorn.
- Gee, sorry, Luna.
But I've got three friends over.
And three beats one.
- Dude, I thought we were on the same side.
- Yeah, well, Lincoln brought in two friends,
so I did what I had to do.
- Well, fine. I can call my friends too.
Operator, can you help me place this call?
[upbeat music]
Dude, mind if we cut in?
- But Becky and I are playing--
- No, totally, dude. I get that.
It's just that you only have one friend over,
and I have four.
- Can you please pass the remote, Lynn?
It's time for my fashion-show show.
- [mimics buzzer] I have three friends over,
so I get the TV. Thank you.
- Three? Oh, that's so cute.
I have five.
Wait...
Yeah, five.
- Excuse me, Leni, my friends and I have to watch
our dating advice show.
- Sorry, Lori. I have five friends over and--
- Oh. Only five?
I'll save you the trouble-- there are six of them.
Remote, please.
- Pardon the intrusion, eldest sibling.
But it's time for the congressional hearings.
- But, Lisa--
- Lucky seven, baby. Count 'em.
- Move it, Lisa. My eight friends and I
want to watch "Prison Pageants."
- Sorry, Lola, but my nine friends and I
would like to watch "Vampires of Melancholia."
- Hit the road, Jack. My ten friends and I
have a concert to watch.
- Everyone "nose" that 11 is more than 10.
And we have a comedy special to watch.
- You guys, this is literally out of control.
Lana, did you really have to invite 12
of your muddy friends over?
- Don't bark at me.
Lincoln invited 13 randos over from the arcade.
I bet you don't even know all their names.
- I do too.
There's Jeff-- or is it Josh?
- By my calculations, with this many people in the house,
we could be approaching a threat level of...
stampeding T-Rex.
- Hey, I was watching that! - Too bad.
- No, too bad for you! - Give me the remote.
I want to watch the sports channel.
- Uh-oh. Make that erupting volcano.
[pummeling and yelling]
- That's just great, Lincoln.
Those complete strangers you invited into our home
just started a fight.
- Jim would never do that.
It was probably Lola's pageant group.
They looked vicious.
- [scoffs] My money's on
Lynn's meathead jock friends.
- Ugh.
[all arguing]
[rock music]
[police siren wailing]
- Police! Open up.
- And now you're caught up.
[all yelling]
- Okay, kids. Break it up.
Party's over.
- Ugh, get me out of here. - Stop shoving me.
- Wait, Leni.
You don't leave. You live here.
- Oh, right.
- What is going on here?
Why are there 65 kids walking out of our house?
- Are you the parents?
I'm afraid you've got a $200 ticket
for noise violation.
Try to keep your kids under control.
- Anyone care to explain?
- I will. I've got the story down pretty well by now.
And now you're caught up.
- Well, you guys are going to have to use your allowances
to pay for this ticket.
- And I hope you've learned your lesson.
- Definitely.
We're done playing the friend card.
In fact, we fold.
[laughing]
- Guys, from now on, why don't we just take turns
choosing what show to watch
and who gets to lick the beaters and junk.
- Pretty sweet idea.
We can start with dinner tonight.
- Lori, you're the oldest. Why don't you go first?
- Ooh, okay. I think we should have--
- Um, sorry, honey. Tonight's dinner
has already been set. We're having goulash.
- Goulash? - Why?
[doorbell rings] - Well... [chuckles]
We're having friends over.
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house