- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪
♪ Loud house ♪
- Poo-poo.
[folksy whistling]
♪ ♪
[repeated splats]
- Ahh, you ready, honey?
- Hup, hup. Not yet!
Hup, hup, hup.
Okay, now I'm ready.
[tires squeal] - Wow, honey.
I know you always you have superstitious rituals
before a tryout, but they seem more,
mmmm, intense than usual today.
- Can't take any chances.
It's for my FLIBBR.
- Your what? - FLIBBR!
It stands for Football, Lacrosse, Ice Hockey, Baseball,
Basketball, & Roller Derby!
I've won a championship for each sport
except for basketball.
That's why it's really important
that I kill it at tryouts today.
So I can get on the best team, win the title
and get my missing B.
- Aw, that's great, honey. Those are all temporary, right?
- Dad, don't take Elm! It's unlucky!
- [yelps] [tires screech]
- Hello new players, and welcome to the annual Royal Woods Girls
Basketball League tryouts!
This year we have five teams with open spots
on their rosters:
The Abscessed Molars, sponsored by Dr. Feinstein--
The Garlic Nets, sponsored by Gus' Games and Grub--
The Belchin' Ballers, sponsored by the Burpin' Burger--
[belch]
The Turkey Jerkies, sponsored by Flip's Food and Fuel--
- Ooh!
- [screams] - [yawns]
- And the Brie Throwers,
sponsored by Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet...
you didn't have to bring your trophies, guys.
[together] Oh, did we bring our trophies?
- Daaaaang!
Best uniforms, best name, most trophies--
that's my team!
- Let's start the draft!
The lowest-ranked team will have first pick.
So... Flip! Who's your pick?
- Hey, zebra stripes!
Can't ya see I'm busy makin' money over here?
- Oh, no. Please don't pick me.
- Ehh, whatever, I'll take Lincoln's sister.
Now leave me alone!
- [gasps] No!
- [snoring]
- Hey! No napping on the court, Maya!
Ow!
- Hi Mom... yes, I'm wearing my mouth guard.
- Got it. - Ugh!
- Sorry, my palms sweat when I get nervous.
- Okay, this is bad. But I am not giving up on ya, FLIBBR!
- All right, guys, take a knee!
- Uh, I can't take a knee.
- Eh, fine, Paula, you can stand.
Do you guys like being in last place?
- [yawns] No.
- Well, then I say let's start winning some games!
- [garbled speech]
- What?
- I said, but we're not very good...
- You're not good now,
but once Coach Lynn gets through with you guys,
you're gonna be lean, mean, dunking machines.
Now let's get to work!
[all yelp]
Okay, change of plans:
as soon as you get the ball, throw it to me.
[buzzer blares]
[blasts whistle]
[lively music]
Yes!
♪ ♪
Yes!
- So sweaty.
♪ ♪
- Yes!
[cheers and applause]
♪ ♪
We did it! We won a game
Ha! Doesn't it feel good?
- It would feel better if we got to play more.
- Guys, guys, guys, you're missing the big picture here.
- A win is a win, no matter who's playing.
[all grumbling]
- Come on, Maya, you don't want to spend the night here again.
[buzzer blares]
- All right, Turkey Jerkies!
Same strategy as last time!
- Okay. - Fine.
[whistles]
- Hey, I got it!
- Amy, over here!
- [sighs] Fun while it lasted.
♪ ♪
- Yeah, yeah! That's the stuff!
[cheers and applause]
♪ ♪
- Paula, hit me!
♪ ♪
- Yuh!
Huh!
- Lynn, I'm wide open!
- Uh... I can do this.
[grunts]
Sorry I couldn't pull out the win.
They figured out our strategy.
- Well, since it didn't work,
maybe we should all get to play now.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let's not go crazy.
We still want to win, right?
Just give me a moment to think.
[phone rings] - Hi, Mom.
- Ugh! Amy! Turn off your dang ringer!
- Got to go.
- [gasps] Wait! That's it!
- Eh, what the heck's a ringer?
- Another really great player.
I can't carry the whole team, but if we snag a few,
the Turkey Jerkies can win the championship!
- Pfff. Championship?
I'm only in this to sell Flippees!
Win, lose, who gives a hoot?
People are still gonna be thirsty.
- Flip, Flip, Flip.
You gotta think bigger.
Sure, you can sell some Flippees at the games.
But what about when the season's over?
Think how many more Flippees you'll sell when you have
a big banner on your store that says,
"Flip's: Home of the Champions." Eh?
- Ohhh, you're painting, a might pretty picture.
I'm in! But I'm not paying for the banner.
- Eh, fine. Let's go find some ringers.
[motor roaring]
[tires screech] Too old.
[tires screech] Too young.
[tires screech] Too rough.
- Hey, Flip! - You know that guy?
- Nope!
[engine roars]
[tires screech] - Too sad.
[tires screech] Too canine.
W-w-wait, pull over there!
[tires screech]
[lively music]
♪ ♪
Sweet Lou Dunbar!
Hey, you guys are amazing!
How would you like to play in the Royal Woods Girls' League?
- We'd love to, but we can't.
We don't live in Royal Woods. both: Huh?
- You're in Beaverton.
Royal Woods ends at that sign over there.
[bell dings]
- Oh, does it now?
Problem solved!
[siren blips]
- Step away from the sign, sir.
- Yeah, I'll just file this with all my other tickets.
Welp, I'm taking you home, junior.
Sorry we didn't find your ringers.
- But we did find them.
We just gotta find a way for them to play.
Maybe they and their families could move into your garage.
- Ehhhh, I don't know, kid,
I don't really like people.
- Aw, it's only for a little while.
And think of all the Flippees you'll sell.
- Hmmm. Okay. I'm in.
But I'm not paying for their hot water.
- Hey, guys,
say hello to your new teammates,
Megan and Morgan.
- Uh, why do we need new teammates?
- [chuckles] Oh, you'll see.
[buzzer blares]
[lively whistling]
♪ ♪
Yes! Nice hustle!
♪ ♪
Guys, I'm open!
Uh, a little teamwork, dudes?
[cheers and applause]
Here! I'm wide open, man!
[cheers and applause]
♪ ♪
[groans]
♪ ♪
What gives? You two were supposed to join the team,
not be the team.
- Relax, Loud.
A win is a win, no matter who's playing.
[reflective tone]
Everyone take a knee.
Paula, you can stand.
I owe you an apology.
I treated you all like crud.
This is supposed to be about having fun,
but I totally blew it by focusing on the win.
So listen, I want to make it up to you guys.
At the next game,
everyone gets to play an equal amount.
- Are you sure?
The next game is the championship.
What about your FLABBER?
- It's FLIBBR,
and it's not important anymore.
Being a true champion isn't about winning a trophy.
It's about treating your teammates with respect.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What about all my Flippee sales?
- Flip, Flip, Flip,
you're not looking at the big picture.
Sure, you'll sell some Flippees being "Home of the Champions,"
but think about how many more you'll sell as
"Champion of the Underdogs."
Eh?
- Oooh, yeah, there are a lot of underdogs in this area.
I'm in!
- Well, we are out.
We came to win.
- Well, fine then, your parents
can just leave a check for the room and board in the garage.
[both scoff]
- Well, it was worth a shot.
[buzzer blares]
- Welcome to the Royal Woods'
Girls' Basketball League Championship!
We've got Jean Juan's Brie Throwers
versus Flip's Food and Fuel's Turkey Jerkies.
Some names, don't you think Pep?
- My name's Pep; who am I to judge?
- There's the ref. And the whistle.
And here's the tip-off!
Turkey Jerkies take the ball and easily run it up the court!
The Jerkies pass it around, back to Lynn Loud
who runs it forward.
But the Brie Throwers are on her!
- Paula! Lynn passes to Paula,
who nails it!
Oh! It's off the rim!
Ow! Ooh!
- That's okay, good hustle, Paula!
- Ouch! She is going to feel that tomorrow, huh Pep?
- I don't feel anything anymore.
[upbeat music]
- Nice try, Amy! You almost had it!
- Diane dribbles up court--
passes to Maya, who takes a shot!
Oh, it's rolling around!
Ooh, Paula taps it in from below!
- Aw, crutch play, Paula!
- Diane and Amy run the ball up court.
- Amy! I'm open! I'm open!
She passes it to Lynn-- Lynn Loud with the ball alley-oop!
[cheers and applause]
The Jerkies are really hustling out there.
But will it be enough, Pep? Will it be enough?
- Ooh. Don't spoil it for me.
- Lynn's got the ball-- - Maya, catch!
- Maya's got it--
- [yawns]
- Oop, getting sleepy there.
Making herself comfortable.
- Maya, wake up! Clock's running out!
- [snorts] - Maya wakes up!
Maya's on the move, but the Brie Throwers are on her.
And with time running out, the Jerkies gotta make a move!
[buzzer blares] [all cheering]
Well, Pep, in our 20 years of calling games,
I don't think we've ever seen anything like that.
- Has it only been only 20?
Feels like a thousand.
- What are you celebrating for?
You just got creamed-- 50 to 12.
- We don't care. We all got to play!
- Thanks to Lynn!
[together] Lynn! Lynn!
Oof!
- Great job, team! One free Flippee for all of ya!
[together] Yeah!
- Seriously, dude?
[rock music]
♪ ♪
[both panting]
- Oh, somebody's in a hurry to get to the bathroom, heh.
- I have an early root canal at work.
- Well, I have to get to my fish guy
before the good stuff's gone.
[both straining]
- I'll just be a minute. - I'll be in and out.
[dramatic sting]
[all groaning] [banging door]
- Leni! What is taking so long?!
- Something's wrong with this mirror!
- [sighs]
- O-M-gosh, how embarrassing!
- Don't worry about it, Leni.
- This chin hair is like three inches long!
- Lynn, could we cut in front of you? We're running late.
- You know the rules. We all got to wait our turn.
Besides, I won a hot dog eating contest yesterday
and those puppies are barkin' to be let out.
[somber tone]
[both whimpering]
- Ugh! Why do we have to live like this?!
- If you're in a hurry, you should do what I do--
use the second bathroom.
- What second bathroom?
- Old Sloshie.
- Uh, no thanks! - Oh, I'm good!
- Suit yourself.
- Wai-wai-wai-wait, maybe she's onto something.
What if we did put in a second bathroom?!
One that's just for us!
I mean, come on. We're adults. We deserve it!
- Um, no, that'll never work.
The kids will just take it over.
Remember when we got that adjustable bed,
"just for us"?
- And liftoff!
[all cheering]
[crash]
- I'm okay!
- Yeah, you're right.
But what if they didn't know about it?
We could build it in the basement! Or the attic!
- Or our closet!
both: Oooooh!
- Wait. We're talking about lying to our own children.
Do we really wanna do that?
[toilet flushes]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
both: Yes, we do.
[light mysterious music]
♪ ♪
- Miguel and Todd are literally so annoying.
- I feel an eerie presence.
Time to rev up my ghost containment device!
- Ooh, you guys watching"ARRGH"?
[Giggles] Fun. But how can you even hear it?
[music blasting]
- Mother! That's too loud!
It's aggravating my tinnitus!
[muffled music continues]
[banging]
[cement clinking]
- Hey, Dad! - [yelps]
- Are you okay? - Oh, yeah.
Just a little stiff in the joints, haha.
Not getting any younger.
- Oh-ho-ho-ho! You just need an adjustment. Come here.
- No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, I can, uh,
I can walk it off.
[straining]
Whew.
[light suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
[exhales]
[metal clanking]
- Dad! It sounds like you're getting worse--
you've got to let me help you!
- Nahhh! No, no, no, no.
I'm just dehydrated.
[gulps]
[spits]
See? Much better.
[clanking]
- [snoring]
- Hey, Lunes, let's jam-a-lama-dingdong!
[clanging]
- [groans]
Pops, I'm trying to catch some z's.
I got school tomorrow.
- Come on, which is more important?
School or rock and roll?
- Well, when you put it that way...
[jamming]
- Have you guys lost your minds?
- Mommy, Daddy, I had a nightmare.
I wanna sleep in your bed.
- What do we do?! - I got this!
Oof! I'm okay.
- Let me in! What are you doing in there?!
- Hey. - [shrieks]
- You need to sleep in your own bed, honey.
- How did you get out here?
And why are you wearing that weird hat?
- Shh. It's all a dream.
- Okay, guys, let's go through this one more time.
Sammie and Whitney, you need to finish the plumbing hook-up
so Kevin can close up the wall.
Mike, you tie-in to the junction box
while Karla primes the ceiling.
Everybody good?
- I call the TV remote! - No way!
- [screams] The kids!
- No, I called dibs on the remote.
- Kids! Hey! What are you doing home from school so early?
- Ask Lisa.
- Psh! One little nuclear accident
and everybody overreacts!
- What's going on here?
- It's our, uh, uh, new book club.
- "The Itsy Bitsy Spider"?
What's to discuss about a spider
who's washed down a spout then goes back up again?
- Shhh! Lisa! Spoiler!
I can't believe we pulled this off.
- Me neither.
[pleasant music]
♪ ♪
Ahh, no filthy bathtub ring.
No banging on the door.
This must be what heaven's like.
- I'm doing a crossword puzzle on the toilet
just 'cause I can.
I am so glad we did this!
- Me, too, honey. And it's all ours.
- Come on, kids, we're running late!
- Everybody out! Let's go, let's go!
- Wait a minute. Where's Lana?
- I'll get her.
- [sighs] Where'd it go?!
- Lana, what are you doing?
- I can't find my lucky chicken bone!
- A, that's literally gross,
B, you're gonna make everyone late.
[light suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
[coughs]
- Dr. Feinstein gave us new toothbrushes
as a bathroom-warming present.
Wasn't that thoughtful?
- Honey! Secret-bathroom voice!
- Oh, right. Whoops!
[dramatic sting]
Lynn! - What's wrong?!
- Look what I found on the floor:
Lana's lucky chicken bone!
- A, that's gross.
B, it means they're on to us!
They've been sneaking in here behind our backs!
- Fine. Our secret bathroom may not be a secret anymore,
but it's still ours!
We'll just have to lay down the law with them!
- Absolutely!
Sorry, guys, but you can't use the new--
[overlapping shouts]
- On second thought...
- Yeah.
I've got a better idea: security measures!
That'll show those little sneaks.
[purring]
[gasps] Rita!
Look at this!
- Must be Lynn. She's always way too aggressive
with the roll.
But how did she get in?
- Those kids are like master safe crackers.
What was I thinking, just using one lock?
[banging door] - Dad!
We're gonna be late for school!
- Uh, just a second, buddy.
Let's see 'em get past that.
[fly buzzing]
[slurps]
- Dang it! - Lincoln!
That kid always forgets to put the seat up.
- Let's face it, honey. They win.
- No way!
- What else can we do?
Your security measures obviously aren't working.
- Maybe not, but I'm just getting started.
There is no way they can get past this.
Surveillance camera, motion sensor and check this out...
Lasers, Rita! Lasers!
And just in case they do get in,
I've installed a security panel on the inside.
- System lock engaged.
- So they won't get out.
We'll catch them with their pants down!
So to speak.
[laughter]
- How's the water pressure, honey?
- Great! I'm loving waterfall mode!
- Whoops! Forgot about my kid trap.
[blip]
Uh, hon, do you remember the door code?
- Uh, uh-uh. You said it was one of the kids' birthdays.
- I know, but which kid?
[blip]
"Too many password attempts. Access blocked?"
Rita, I need your help. I locked us in!
- What?! Hold on!
[clank]
Um, Lynn?
[suspenseful music]
- Wow, you weren't kidding about that water pressure.
- Maybe I can pry the door open with this toothbrush!
[grunts]
Oh, thanks for nothing, Feinstein!
Honey, wait! Don't forget we wired the vents!
[zap] - [yelps]
Dang it! Forgot about that security measure.
- What are we gonna do?
- Laurie! - Help!
- Lisa! Help!
- What's going on? - Help!
[stampeding]
- Mom? Pops? - Help! We're locked in!
- What are you doing in your closet?
- Probably just hangin'.[laughs]
- Uh, why the preponderance of security devices?
- Never mind that! Just get us out!
Break the door down if you have to!
- Now you're talking!
Gangway!
For honor! [screams]
[rumbling]
[screaming]
- Why is there water in your closet?
- Why is there a bathroom in your closet?
- Uh, you--you didn't know about it?
- No. - Why would we?
- This is weird.
- Uh, care to explain?
- We didn't want to wait in line anymore
so we built our own bathroom
and we kept it a secret from you guys.
Which was wrong.
- Yeah, we're always telling you kids to be patient
and wait your turn,
and here we cheated the system
and put ourselves first.
[sighs] We're really sorry.
- To make it up to you,
you guys can use the new bathroom anytime.
- Too bad there isn't much of a bathroom to use anymore.
- Naw, you can fix it.
You just need a new subfloor and new tiling...
[crash] And a total re-pipe.
- Ah, there's no money left!
I spent it all on the security system.
[both whimper]
- Don't be sad.
You can still share the upstairs bathroom with us.
Right, guys?
- Even if we are going back to one bathroom,
we sure have some ding-dang terrific kids.
[both panting]
- Fish market emergency?
- Nope. I just really have to go.
- Hey, Pops. - Ah, there's no time!
[groaning]
Lana! Where's Old Sloshie?!
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy ♪
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪