(Thunder crashing)
♪
(Screaming)
♪
(Bats squeaking)
(Wolf howling)
(Screaming)
You're in 3417 with dungeon view.
Here's your key.
A skeleton key for the skeletons?
Are you serious?
Every key is a skeleton key, sir.
Welcome to Hotel Transylvania. Reservation number, please?
I have it right here, somewhere. Where did I...
Oh, Mavis, who's every‐monster here to see?
Jett Black? Blobbio?
(Rolling Rs) Roberrrrrrto
the fast‐talking zombie?
They're here to check in.
Mr. Toshi, you're in 1172.
I've upgraded you to a windowless room.
Press zero for doom service.
Here's your key!
We sorta got a few bad Scream‐cation reviews.
"I stayed at Hotel Transylvania
and was cursed to speak Blobbish."
Zero skull rating?!
So, I've been offering half‐off reservations,
and now, we're booked solid!
Almost too booked, really.
Maggie! How's the afterlife?
Ah, I've been better.
But nothing a little time and my old haunt,
room 1313, won't fix.
Room 1313. You betcha.
Uh... oh. It seems like we're double‐booked.
But I'm sure I can find you an even scarier room.
Oh, no! I really need my old room.
I'm going to have to write a Scream‐cation review about this.
Uh, no! Wait!
You don't have to do that, because...
you... can be the first
to try our human‐themed suite.
Ooh, a theme room. I'll take it.
Now, where is my wallet?
Coat rack, kitchen sink...
(Whispering) Mavis, you don't have a human themed suite.
(Whispering) We do now.
Cartwright House, across the way.
Maggie can hang in the attic.
No one will have a clue,
and we won't get a bad review.
(Aloud) But you have to promise
to stay in the attic and out of sight.
It's not totally finished yet.
Oh, I'll be quiet as a dead mouse.
Great!
Can I have the room key?
Oh... uh... yeah, right. Key.
Here. It's invisible.
A ghost key!
A ghost key for the ghost.
How original.
(Groaning)
Welcome to Hotel Transylvania.
Reservation number, please?
Two days later.
ALL: Ah!
Sorry, Mavis. You just looked so terrible
we thought you were a zombie.
So? You see, like, a hundred zombies a day.
Yeah, but you look like a really bad one.
Like, a zombie zombie. Yuck.
(Mavis groaning loudly)
Seems every‐monster loves a bargain.
I've been checking them into the hotel for the last 37 hours.
Oh! Oh! How did Maggie like the human‐themed bungalow?
Actually, she loved it.
Ah! I loved it.
MAVIS: Which is great, except Maggie loved it so much
she told all her friends about it, and now,
I'm kind of renting a human‐haunting theme room
for ghosts at the Cartwright house.
PEDRO: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
You're renting the Cartwright house out to ghosts?
Um... yes?
Oh. Cool. That's what I thought you said.
(Screaming)
MAN: The Northern Frights!
(Screaming) We're here to check
into the human suite.
See what I mean? (Whimpering)
Relax, kid. We aren't here to take your soul.
We're on vacay.
Welcome to Hotel Transylvania.
Reservation number, please?
(Thumping)
This place is nice,
but it could use some rearranging.
Freddy, go deep!
(Crashing) Oh!
What was that? (Thumping)
(Groaning)
Pour it slowly. (Giggling)
(Ghosts thumping) (Laughing)
Okay, okay. Good job. Kind of.
Okay. We're‐‐ we're going to try that again.
Donald! I can't concentrate with all that noise!
It wasn't us, hon. (Thumping)
But, uh, okay.
(Giggling)
(Thumping) (Growling)
(Laughing)
♪
(Laughing) Sweetie, no!
Look at this mess.
Honey, this is not funny.
(Ghosts laughing)
(Laughing) What on Earth
is going on in here?
Donald Debra Cartwright,
look at this mess!
Oh, Kitty‐kins,
it wasn't us, honest!
Well, then who was it? Ghosts?
(Ghost laughing)
(Yelping)
(Ghost laughing)
This human‐themed suite is so realistic
they even use real human pancakes.
G‐g‐g‐ghosts!
(Ghost laughing)
(Both screaming)
(Laughing)
Wow. Even their dog is authentic.
Mommy loves you.
I hope the Frights are happy in the human suite.
(Kitty screaming) Well, someone sure sounds happy.
DONALD: Kitty, save me!
(Kitty screaming)
(Both screaming)
Stop! Why are we all screaming?
(Panting) Ghosts!
Our house is full of them!
You monsters
must know something about this.
Uh... I'm sure it's all just a bad dream.
You're probably sleepwalking.
I'm sure that's it.
Ouch! Nope. Awake.
I'm calling the police.
Or maybe the ghost catchers.
No! Wait. Uh, I'll go look into it for you.
If there are any ghosts there,
I can talk to them, monster to monster.
Until then, Wendy can show you the hotel's, um, uh, safe room.
A ghost and monster‐free suite.
(Whispering) AKA the clubhouse.
I don't know.
You can watch Hotel Pennsylvania.
(Gasping) Can we? Can we? Can we?
(Laughing) Please?
I love that show.
You can watch it at home!
With the ghosts?
(Groaning)
(Sighing)
Now, I just have to get those ghosts out
without getting a bad review.
(Doorbell ringing) Doom service!
Ah, good.
We really worked up an appetite haunting this place.
Well, you're going to have to take it to go.
It's checkout time!
Leave now?
No way. We love it.
We're booked till tomorrow,
and we're staying.
(Groaning) Fine.
First thing tomorrow!
(Music playing on TV)
(Groaning) The Frights won't leave until tomorrow.
How's it going here?
You mean, other than the fact that humans are in our clubhouse
and are messing up my butt groove?
PEDRO: Kitty's being super cool.
She's not freaking out or anything.
She's being nice, which is freaking me out!
Excuse me. Do you have anything to eat?
We're starving.
Oh, man!
Now, I'm not just freaked out!
I respect her, too!
(Clanking)
What do humans eat, anyway?
(Gulping) Our organs.
We'll offer those as a last resort.
(Buzzing)
WENDY: (Gasping) Oh, no!
That machine turned Kitty into a pile of clothes!
That, or‐‐ (Gasping)
‐‐she's gone off into the hotel!
Aunt Lydia will destroy her!
PEDRO: Ah, don't worry.
She's not in the hotel.
MAVIS: Holy rabies.
(Kitty laughing)
She's going back home.
(Laughing)
KITTY: The next time they attack,
I'll be ready.
Nothing spooks Kitty Cartwright.
Ah!
And done!
Time to do some housecleaning.
(Laughing)
MAVIS: Hurry!
We have to get to the Frights before Kitty does!
Hell‐oo! Anybody home?
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
(Whispering) Mavis, me scared.
(Whispering) Me, too.
PEDRO: Me hungry. (Gobbling)
(Whispering) Why are you eating chips?
I'm not. They're called cheese weasels.
I had to try them.
(Burping loudly)
Oh, too spicy.
You guys, distract Kitty.
I'm going to find the Frights.
Okay. So, what do we do?
Well, I'm going to curl up into a ball
and wait for it to be over.
Or we could try something like this.
♪
(Grunting)
(Growling)
(Grunting)
(Grunting, screaming)
I never liked that wall anyway!
Come on! The human is back!
The nice one or the mean one?
(Yelping) Never mind.
(Whispering) Don't anyone make
any sudden movements.
Ha! You can run,
but you can't hide.
(Whispering) Actually, we can hide,
but we can't run.
Ooh! Ah!
Ooh! I've been slimed!
We're going to take that early checkout after all.
(Vacuum sucking, Wendy grunting)
Um, help!
(Vacuum stopping)
WENDY: Whee!
Ah!
(Laughing)
I won!
(Laughing)
I have my house back!
(Thudding)
Whatever.
(Bats squeaking)
(Wolf howling)
Think you've got what it takes to stink up my court?
'Cause Noosh needs some new jeerleaders
for his halftime shows!
Never mind why.
Are you next? Next to be a Noosh jeerleader,
not next to be Bigfoot breakfast,
although you might be both. Only time will tell.
Ah! I am so next.
(Music playing)
Hello, Mavis.
Wonder what I'm doing?
No.
Ah‐ha. It's called the Vampire's Overfang.
(Groaning)
Does this mean you're trying out to be a jeerleader, too?
Yes, and I'm going to mop the floor with you.
Well, somebody should. Look at it.
HANK: Sorry, Mavis! That'd be us!
Daddy makes the best blob‐sled!
PEDRO: Mold medal, here we come!
(Yelping, groaning)
(Strained) That was awesome.
(Groaning)
I meant, what you don't know about dancing
could fill the Fang Canyon.
Oh, yeah? Well, check this out.
I am going to whoop your butt. (Humming)
KLAUS: Check what out?
Your cowlick?
Cowlick? Pfft. What cowlick?
You're a cowlick!
No, Mavis.
'Tis you who are the cowlick.
(Klaus tittering)
(Gasping, whimpering) Better?
I mean, if by "better," you mean the same but worse,
then yes.
(Moaning)
(Groaning) Why did I let that cow tuck me in?
(Mooing)
Later, cowlick.
It was not nice knowing you.
(Mooing)
I wasn't talking about you, Zoe.
(Laughing)
WOMAN: Ah, some‐monster got a haircut!
How can you tell?
(Chuckling) A hairdresser always knows, honey,
especially a witch hairdresser.
So Wendy told you.
Yeah. Also, you're still holding the scissors.
Oh. Right.
Anyway, since you did it yourself,
I assume you gave it a proper vampire hair burial.
A proper vampire what now?
You know, you braided it, wrapped it in a shroud,
marked it with an M, and buried it three krakens deep.
Oh, that proper vampire hair burial.
Yeah. Mm‐hmm.
That's exactly what I did.
So long, cowlick. (Flushing)
Phew! Good thing you did,
because you know, it would be serious trouble
if your hair fell into the wrong hands.
How serious can a cowlick be?
Very!
(Clunking)
(Ticking)
(Grunting) Out, darn clog.
Out, I say. Please? For the Don‐ster!
Kitty hates clogged tubs more than public hand‐holding!
(Grunting, screaming)
(Giggling)
(Screaming)
I mean, come on.
A cowlick is the opposite of serious trouble.
Am I right?
Always.
(Laughing)
I'll have what she's having.
(Baby giggling)
Tickle, tickle. (Giggling)
(Giggling)
(Yelping)
(Groaning)
(Giggling) More! More!
(Screaming)
♪ And Wendy calls the doctor and the doctor said ♪
♪ No more vampires ♪
♪ Jumping on the bed ♪
(Laughing)
Purple punch hearses. No punch‐backs.
Hey, guys. (Yelping)
Oh! (Gasping) Yeah!
Let's all throw our arms in the air
and wave them like we just don't care. (Grunting)
Uh, is this a new dance move?
I wish, but no. I just keep
losing control of my body. (Grunting)
HANK: Happens to the best of us.
Hmm.
(Giggling)
Uh, Mavis, it is possible you were separated at birth
from an identical hair twin?
(Giggling)
Holy rabies.
Nose‐picker's got my hair, and she's made it into a doll?
A little Hairvis.
A hair doll.
Huh. Kids today.
Whatever happened to Tag, Hide and Creep,
Chase the Limb?
Tiffany tried to warn me about this!
The hair doll must be what's making me act weird!
(Panting) Really?
Nothing makes me act weird.
Hey, hey! I need to get that hair doll,
but I also need to practice for Noosh's dance auditions.
Huh.
Mavis, you need our help.
Uh...
(Grunting) Oh!
Uh, you can trust us with all of your hair care needs.
(Both panting)
There's Nose‐picker!
Where?
(Giggling)
Ah! (Clearing his throat)
Okay. Okay. Here's the plan.
We enter an open window here,
then hide out in the house for two to three years here
'til Nose‐picker grows out of playing with hair dolls.
Then bam!
(Giggling)
Ah! Yeah. Or...
Hey, look! A human cookie!
(Yelping)
(Chuckling)
Wow. It really does look like Mavis.
It even has her cowlick.
That's because it is her cowlick. Run!
(Both panting)
No!
Hairvis!
(Screeching)
(Cracking, chirping)
Whew! (Panting)
Good thing this doll isn't actually Mavis.
(Yelping, grunting)
We got Hairvis.
Ah! She's so cute!
I just to hug her and love her and squish her!
Uh, Wendy, it's time to bury this hairball.
Whew! It's a good thing
we're getting rid of Hairvis before your dance tryout.
Heh. You sure would not
wanna be all unique and spectacular for that!
Wait. What?
Noosh would be like:
(In deep voice) "You just Nooshed me with your Nooshiness!"
(In normal voice) ‐‐or something, because you'd be
so unstoppable with Hairvis calling the shots.
You're right.
Maybe I should let Hairvis fly this dance plane.
But I'd need a way to control her.
Enter Wendy.
I'll get that hair doll to dance hard.
I'm saying I'll pilot your dance plane.
Yes! You got this, Wendy.
(Wendy laughing)
Mavis isn't the only one who can play with her hair.
Hairvis, prepare to meet HairKlaus.
(Laughing)
NOOSH: Two hundred and eleven!
Two hundred and twelve!
Two hundred and thirteen!
A Noosh record!
Alright, you Noosh‐iacs.
Are you ready to get your Noosh on?
Yes! Yes!
First up,
Mavis the Macarena Dracula...
versus Dr. Dance‐a‐lot Gillman!
(Kissing)
Y'all ready for this?
(Music playing)
Oh, yeah.
(Yelping, grunting)
(Music ending, crowd cheering, applauding)
That was off the Noosh! Next!
Mavis, feel my forehead.
Okay. Why?
Because I think I have a fever,
a dance fever!
(Dr. Gillman humming)
Fore!
(People booing) (Mooing)
Ew. (Chuckling) Next!
(Accordion music playing)
Great job with Hairvis, Wendy!
Well, I have had a lot of practice
playing with your hair and‐‐ (People booing)
What? I didn't say anything. You said something.
Is that the phone? It's for me!
Next up, Klaus the...
Yeah, I'm not saying that.
Ooh, can't miss Klaus's terrible fang dance!
(Music playing) (Humming)
(Laughing)
(Grunting)
(Laughing)
(Cheering, applauding)
How did he get so good?
Ah! (Giggling)
Wait a second.
Surprised you aren't the only one who can cut hair
and then not give that hair a proper vampire burial?
No, but I am the only one allowed to use scissors.
Perhaps, but I'm the only one allowed to use a plunger.
That's not true. Also, ew.
Why are you two helping Klaus?
He bribed me with food.
And I'm spineless.
See? Oh!
ANNOUNCER: Mavis and Klaus Dracula,
report to the ring for your final dance‐off!
This isn't over.
Of course it isn't.
They literally just announced that it wasn't.
(Sipping)
(Music playing)
(Both yelping)
(Both grunting)
(Yelping)
Anyone else feel like the hair dolls are controlling them?
Whatever do you mean? (Grunting)
(Both yelping)
NOOSH: Stop!
I've seen enough.
You're hired!
BOTH: We are?
Not you. Them! The Noosh haircuts!
(Crowd cheering, applauding)
(Both groaning)
♪