1
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:07,206
[dramatic music]
2
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:14,446
♪ ♪
3
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- what's the [bleep]?
4
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The mouse chewed right
straight through my bowstring.
5
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,686
- My hope of having
6
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:23,155
a good deer hunting spot
are crushed.
7
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[groans]
8
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- if I can't bring
a fixed blade with me,
9
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cause I chose the multitool
then I just have to forge one.
10
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It's almost done.
11
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- I'm just gonna sit
for a second.
12
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I am so dizzy and nauseous.
13
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I am afraid that
I poisoned myself.
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- This is jordan.
I am officially tapping out.
15
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I find myself continuingly
thinking of my daughter,
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but the difference is,
at home,
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I can look into the eyes
of my wife,
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I can look into the eyes
of my son.
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And I see a part of her there,
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and that soothes me
and that comforts me,
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and I don't have that here.
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[dramatic musical sting]
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♪ ♪
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male narrator: In "alone's"
most terrifying location yet,
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ten participants face
the deadliest predator
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in north america.
27
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- There he is right there.
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- Grizzly bears.
- Hey, bear.
29
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- There are a lot
of grizzly here.
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I'm gonna have to live
with them.
31
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- Go on! Get!
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- Every second we're on
the land, we're being hunted.
33
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- Holy [bleep], mountain lion.
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- He's circling around
my shelter.
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Narrator:
Bone-chilling cold...
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- Winter is coming.
37
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- You combine the wind
with the rain and the cold,
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this place could make
the arctic look easy.
39
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- Oh, [bleep].
40
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Narrator:
And complete isolation.
41
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- You cannot hide
from yourself
42
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mentally and emotionally.
43
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- Ah!
44
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- There's no place to go.
45
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- I am suffering
from loneliness.
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Narrator: Who will survive?
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- Yes! Yes!
48
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- This could be the end.
49
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- I don't want to tap,
but I don't want
50
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to die either.
51
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- You have to suffer
before you can succeed.
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[gagging]
53
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narrator:
The last one standing wins.
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- At what point
do I push the button?
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♪ ♪
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- I had a really strange
dream last night.
57
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So...
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I'm sitting outside of
a restaurant with joe rogan,
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and howard stern walks up
and sits down.
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Before they go in,
howard turns to me and said,
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"hey, why don't you come over
to my house later on?
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"bring the boys.
63
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I've got two.
They'd get along fine."
64
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and I said, "all right, man.
Sounds good."
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that's it.
[chuckles]
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the belt's really
tightening up.
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It's a little concerning.
68
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,268
I've been fishing
several times,
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but nothing.
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♪ ♪
71
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oh, yes--
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aw, damn it.
73
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Take it, take it.
Take it, take it.
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Oh...Aw.
75
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Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
76
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Son of a bitch.
77
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,918
Fishing is supposed
to be relaxing.
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It's the most stressful fishing
I've ever done.
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♪ ♪
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the closest deep water
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where I think the fishing
would be decent is
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a quarter-mile down
to the big rock.
83
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,900
So today, I'm gonna start
on a landing net.
84
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,536
I just need something
to dip down in there
85
00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,037
and get those fish because
86
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I'm gonna end up losing them
if I don't have a net.
87
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,476
Alder wood.
88
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,211
I need some alder wood.
89
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,447
♪ ♪
90
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this is not the area
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that I was hoping it would be.
92
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Yeah, that'll work.
93
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♪ ♪
94
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my chances of killing a deer
are very low.
95
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:21,059
♪ ♪
96
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the more I think about it,
I don't know if those deer
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are gonna be down here
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00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:27,899
until late with this weather
being so mild.
99
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:32,004
And so fishing maybe
the ticket for me here.
100
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:35,340
I think I'll give this net
to koi when I get back.
101
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,608
He'd like that.
102
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I have to make fin something.
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♪ ♪
104
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[whistling]
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♪ ♪
106
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[grunts]
there we go.
107
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,467
I'm gonna lay the net.
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00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:05,237
Ready to rock and roll.
109
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Man, yeah!
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♪ ♪
111
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,212
the fish ain't gonna know
what hit them.
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00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:19,217
♪ ♪
113
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,321
all right.
114
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,723
Let's try it out.
115
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,425
I think the lake level
came up some.
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I've gotta be careful.
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♪ ♪
118
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[hisses]
no, don't do that!
119
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[groans]
120
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yeah.
121
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:08,767
♪ ♪
122
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thought it was gonna sink
for a minute.
123
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You have to be careful...
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About that stuff.
125
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♪ ♪
126
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:28,987
♪ ♪
127
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come on, fishy, fishy.
128
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♪ ♪
129
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nada.
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♪ ♪
131
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I need food.
132
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,521
I don't know how far
this thing is going.
133
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,256
It could go over 100 days.
134
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Oh, [bleep].
135
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,927
There are some very
strong-willed people here,
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00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:12,664
people that are not going
to give up easily,
137
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:17,202
and I cannot out-starve
anyone.
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♪ ♪
139
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,991
- freshwater snails.
140
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:47,466
It's gonna be
an interesting meal.
141
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:50,001
Gonna have some snails.
142
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[munches loudly]
143
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wow, really crunchy.
144
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:17,128
Not much meat to speak of,
but...
145
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Hmm.
146
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:22,767
Not a bad flavor.
147
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:26,638
It reminds me a little bit
of clams...
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00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,007
With a lot of grit.
[chuckles]
149
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,478
♪ ♪
150
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,547
I've been fishing a lot.
151
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,549
I haven't been successful,
152
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,551
and I don't wanna give up.
153
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:43,788
So I'm gonna do a fish trap.
154
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:46,324
I've been eating a lot
of random stuff:
155
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Ants, crickets,
156
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lots of edibles,
but it's not enough.
157
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:53,198
I need fish.
158
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,902
♪ ♪
159
00:08:57,004 --> 00:09:01,439
all right, the funnel
that'll lead them inside.
160
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,542
Pretty small hole, but
161
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:06,478
those fish are pretty thin
162
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,346
there in the shallows.
163
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,214
I hope it works.
164
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♪ ♪
165
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,552
I'm here to win it.
166
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:17,522
And I'm doing this for mike.
167
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:20,425
My husband has a brother.
168
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,894
He has down syndrome
169
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:26,598
and he lives with us a month
out of the year.
170
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,733
When they asked me, you know,
171
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:29,734
"what would you do
with the money?"
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00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:33,138
I said,
"we would have mike more."
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00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:37,208
$500,000, that would allow him
to live with us full-time.
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00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:39,444
♪ ♪
175
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,346
and he's so amazing.
176
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He's our guy.
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Yeah, there we go.
178
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,919
♪ ♪
179
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:52,190
feeling a little more hopeful
about fishing.
180
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:52,924
♪ ♪
181
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,894
out here, you do have to just
182
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,862
keep, keep trying--
keep trying new things.
183
00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,198
If it's not working,
try something else.
184
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:06,538
♪ ♪
185
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,608
I feel like I can be here.
186
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:14,179
I just need a way to get food.
187
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,213
Okay.
188
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:21,987
♪ ♪
189
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,631
- we got the line,
we got the lures,
190
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,332
we got the stuff,
we got the me.
191
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:37,569
Let's go, chad!
192
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:38,570
♪ it's time to go fishing ♪
193
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:41,606
♪ 'cause it's gonna be fun ♪
194
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,575
♪ I'm gonna see some fishes ♪
195
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,510
♪ and I'll catch everyone ♪
196
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:46,778
♪ in my pot tonight ♪
197
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,780
♪ 'cause I'm gonna
cook you up ♪
198
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,649
♪ and I'm gonna catch you,
right ♪
199
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:54,252
♪ and I'm gonna do it, what ♪
200
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:57,455
[vocalizes]
201
00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,190
oh, it's not too windy.
202
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:02,827
♪ ♪
203
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,929
I'm in such a brutal area
for fishing.
204
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:08,533
I've got one reasonably close
deep channel,
205
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:11,903
and my strategy is lures.
206
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,872
They say there's a fine line
between fishing
207
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,675
and standing on the shore
like an idiot,
208
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:19,010
so I'm gonna see
which one it is.
209
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:35,427
Oh, oh! Oh, I had a bite.
210
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:38,530
Oh, oh, oh! Oh, snag.
211
00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:40,632
[groans]
please don't snag.
212
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:44,502
[sighs]
I don't want to go in!
213
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,204
But I don't wanna lose it!
214
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,672
♪ ♪
215
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:51,209
whew, man!
I'm sucking right now.
216
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:58,983
♪ ♪
217
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,186
oh, it's cold.
It's cold.
218
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:05,290
♪ ♪
219
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,191
aw, it's deep.
220
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:13,465
♪ ♪
221
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,200
there we go.
I got it.
222
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:20,138
♪ ♪
223
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,474
wow.
224
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,443
I'm gonna get back at it.
225
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,478
I'm not gonna give up.
226
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,313
I don't just need a fish.
227
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,415
I need a win,
228
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,183
for my mental state.
229
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,719
♪ ♪
230
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:37,455
I'm thinking about my wife
today,
231
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,758
since it's her birthday.
232
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,794
Just, uh, feeling it
a little bit.
233
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:46,197
Feeling the remoteness
from my family.
234
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:47,165
♪ ♪
235
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,434
[bleep]!
236
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:52,570
From my normal life.
237
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,906
Feeling a little defeatist.
238
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:59,010
But remembering to stay
in the moment more.
239
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,212
That's what it's gonna take
for me to win this.
240
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,315
♪ ♪
241
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,984
oh, yeah. Yes!
242
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,122
Yeah!
243
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:11,990
Yes!
244
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,695
Oh, it's tiny.
245
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,664
You are not getting away,
my friend.
246
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:23,401
Oh, I'm gonna eat you
in a stew.
247
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,203
Pretty. It's pretty.
248
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:31,876
♪ ♪
249
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,445
I'm imagining one
of the other contestants
250
00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:37,348
with a big-ass fish,
251
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,784
and here I am
252
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:42,187
with a tiny little fifth
of a pounder.
253
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,388
♪ ♪
254
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,756
I mean, he's tiny.
255
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,524
Let's not--
let's not build this up
256
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,459
to a hero kind of ordeal.
257
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:50,195
This is no hero fish.
258
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:54,632
♪ ♪
259
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:57,202
all right.
Let's eat this soup.
260
00:13:57,304 --> 00:14:02,440
♪ ♪
261
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,008
roast up these bones.
262
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:12,150
Who knew that roasted bones,
263
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:13,985
so good?
264
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,593
Of course, I just talked
about how great that meal is,
265
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,194
and I'm already, like, hungry.
266
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:30,268
♪ ♪
267
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,469
well chad,
268
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:35,573
you can't win them all.
269
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,542
I'm gonna do my meditation,
270
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:38,610
'cause I think it's time.
271
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,211
I think it's that time of day.
272
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:43,281
♪ ♪
273
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,482
I'm like,
274
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:47,852
judging my whole life.
275
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:49,854
I'm afraid that people
will look and say
276
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:52,857
that this person
doesn't have skill level.
277
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:55,860
I mean, this is
what I do professionally.
278
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:59,564
Like, I get paid
to teach survival skills.
279
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,066
And I'm, like, out here, and
280
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:06,204
it's just been all my failures
in front of the world.
281
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:10,074
So I'm doing these meditations
where I meet up with my wife.
282
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:13,344
She's the one with the mental
and emotional fortitude
283
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:14,312
in the family.
284
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,547
[inhales deeply]
285
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:18,716
and I can feel her energy.
286
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:22,320
I can feel her presence
strongly.
287
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,323
[exhales sharply]
288
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,991
I miss her bad.
289
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:37,001
♪ ♪
290
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:56,988
- there she is.
291
00:15:58,358 --> 00:15:59,991
A work of art.
292
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:06,364
The mountain-forged nail knife.
293
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,465
Quick in the hand.
294
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,467
I used some snare wire.
295
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,403
Fashioned a little guard,
296
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,073
a little blade stop.
297
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:18,009
Actually pretty strong 'cause
it's stainless steel wire.
298
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,012
Multi-layered.
299
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,650
See what you can do with a--
300
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,986
a rusty old nail
you find on shore.
301
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:32,991
[imitates whooshing]
302
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:37,195
let's try it out real quick.
303
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,098
♪ ♪
304
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,734
people are either gonna like
me, or they're gonna think
305
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,202
I'm the weirdest [bleep]
out there.
306
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:48,239
♪ ♪
307
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,208
all right.
308
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:55,313
♪ ♪
309
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,582
look at that.
310
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:01,386
I'm splitting wood with my...
311
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,421
Troll-forged knife.
312
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,024
That's pretty cool.
313
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,992
People will be like,
"biko sucked at getting food.
314
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:13,865
"but man, he forged that knife
315
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:17,535
"and he built
a pretty cool shelter, so
316
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,237
he's not totally worthless."
317
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,205
[chuckles]
318
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:22,940
♪ ♪
319
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,776
I definitely expected
to catch a fish by now,
320
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,812
so it's been
kind of disheartening.
321
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:30,848
And it ain't even
gotten tough yet.
322
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:34,185
This is not an easy place
to survive.
323
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:34,852
♪ ♪
324
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,588
got to figure out fishing.
325
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,624
I'm gonna make a fish basket.
326
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,193
Try it out.
It could work.
327
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:43,394
♪ ♪
328
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:47,398
we shall use willow.
329
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:47,999
[nasally]
"willow."
330
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,003
what a great movie.
331
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,008
"out of the way, peck."
332
00:18:00,814 --> 00:18:03,014
oh, I hope
I can catch a fish soon.
333
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:05,383
I'm gonna be sexy when
I get out of here, though.
334
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,852
No more fat biko,
335
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:11,189
or maybe I'll be malnourished
and weak.
336
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:16,594
♪ ♪
337
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,729
I wonder how everyone's doing.
338
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:21,933
I wonder
if anyone has tapped out.
339
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:26,204
A bunch of grizzly bears,
not a lot of food.
340
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:27,772
♪ ♪
341
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,474
come on, there's got
to be somebody
342
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,442
who's ready to go home.
343
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:32,910
Anyone got the time?
344
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:36,781
Is it other contestants
tap out o'clock yet?
345
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:39,183
I'm gonna do my best,
either way.
346
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,386
♪ ♪
347
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,188
damn, that's ugly.
348
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,190
♪ ♪
349
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,458
oh, well.
350
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,193
I don't have much care.
351
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,329
♪ ♪
352
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,463
[branches snap]
353
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,332
[dramatic musical sting]
354
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,200
[water splashing]
355
00:18:56,302 --> 00:19:04,008
♪ ♪
356
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:08,312
holy [bleep]!
Those are bears.
357
00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:10,281
Grizzly bears.
358
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,215
Go on! Get!
359
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,551
♪ ♪
360
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,120
looked like a couple of cubs.
361
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:17,288
Hey!
362
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,990
[air horn toots]
363
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,563
♪ ♪
364
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,199
hopefully mama's not around.
365
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,434
♪ ♪
366
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:33,271
freakin' heart's racing.
367
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,772
[exhales]
368
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:36,207
they're a lot bigger
than I thought.
369
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,509
♪ ♪
370
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:41,212
got my adrenaline pumping.
371
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,481
♪ ♪
372
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,449
I've never been anywhere
373
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,518
where grizzlies exist,
374
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,988
so this is a first for me.
375
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,591
Knowing that these things
could cause serious harm
376
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,661
to you, it's a scary thought.
377
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:57,995
They're moving
through my area,
378
00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:00,331
and it's something that's
in the back of my head
379
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,200
all the time.
380
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:05,570
♪ ♪
381
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:09,207
I got freakin' shoreline ptsd.
382
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:13,711
♪ ♪
383
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:17,281
I'm gonna go deploy
my fish trap.
384
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:20,785
Here we go.
385
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,187
Hopefully I don't run
into a grizzly.
386
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:30,428
♪ ♪
387
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:31,796
even with starvation
388
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,599
and grizzly bears coming
into my camp,
389
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,667
I just got to keep keeping on.
390
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:39,837
I've got a lot of weight
on me.
391
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:42,773
But if I'm gonna stay here
a long time,
392
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,209
I can't just starve
the whole time.
393
00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:46,010
♪ ♪
394
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,018
I hope that as time goes on,
395
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:57,855
as I get things more set up
and more comfortable,
396
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,992
that I get more bold
in food production.
397
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:16,007
♪ ♪
398
00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:39,030
- I kind of wanna have
a cook shelter.
399
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:42,733
It's a little bit of
protection for the fireplace.
400
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:46,304
It will be better
than being out
401
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:48,172
in the wind.
402
00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:50,608
Whew!
403
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:54,445
[inhales deeply,
exhales sharply]
404
00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:57,348
I just feel really...
405
00:21:57,450 --> 00:22:00,184
Just super weak.
406
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:05,589
♪ ♪
407
00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:07,425
just get some more food in me.
408
00:22:07,527 --> 00:22:09,193
Maybe that'll help.
409
00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:10,728
♪ ♪
410
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,731
I'm still finding
tons of edibles,
411
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,833
but you have
to eat a lot of it.
412
00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:19,203
It's just low-calorie food
and low fat.
413
00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:21,305
♪ ♪
414
00:22:21,407 --> 00:22:23,474
throw some...
415
00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:26,977
Fireweed leaves in there.
416
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,014
Hopefully, there's something
in the fish trap.
417
00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:33,317
Getting some fish soon
can give me enough energy
418
00:22:33,419 --> 00:22:36,454
to sustain me.
419
00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:37,555
I need some bigger meals
420
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:40,191
to be able to stay out here.
421
00:22:40,293 --> 00:22:42,660
♪ ♪
422
00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:44,862
so I have a confession
to make.
423
00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:49,800
I've been so concerned
about salt, salt intake.
424
00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:52,136
Like, we need, we need
daily salt intake.
425
00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:56,607
Like, it's really critical for
all of your body functionings,
426
00:22:56,709 --> 00:23:00,745
and I don't have
the salt source,
427
00:23:00,847 --> 00:23:03,247
so I have been eating
my own mucus.
428
00:23:03,349 --> 00:23:06,550
[chuckles]
429
00:23:06,652 --> 00:23:08,552
oh, my god.
That's so gross.
430
00:23:08,654 --> 00:23:10,454
Yeah, so when my nose runs,
431
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:13,424
I just eat all the mucus,
432
00:23:13,526 --> 00:23:15,993
and it is very salty.
433
00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:19,463
It is much less salty
than it was at the beginning,
434
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:22,767
so I know I'm depleted,
435
00:23:22,869 --> 00:23:26,003
but it kept me
from losing so much.
436
00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:29,974
I feel really guilty
for all those kids I told
437
00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:33,577
to stop picking their nose
and eating it all those--
438
00:23:33,679 --> 00:23:35,746
all these years as a teacher.
439
00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:38,182
Go ahead, kids.
Eat your own mucus.
440
00:23:38,284 --> 00:23:39,150
Like--
441
00:23:39,252 --> 00:23:41,285
[laughs]
442
00:23:41,387 --> 00:23:43,187
oh, my god.
443
00:23:43,289 --> 00:23:44,855
♪ ♪
444
00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:46,857
you do a lot of
disgusting things out here
445
00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:49,460
that, like, you just
would not ever think
446
00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:50,661
that you're gonna do,
447
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:53,464
but you're really trying
to stay
448
00:23:53,566 --> 00:23:55,199
in whatever way you can.
449
00:23:55,301 --> 00:23:56,434
♪ ♪
450
00:23:56,536 --> 00:23:58,736
I need to get food.
451
00:23:58,838 --> 00:24:03,541
For me, fishing is
the only thing
452
00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:05,276
that will sustain my tiny,
453
00:24:05,378 --> 00:24:08,212
wiry body.
454
00:24:08,314 --> 00:24:11,849
♪ ♪
455
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:15,186
okay, let's go down
and check our fish trap.
456
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:17,455
♪ ♪
457
00:24:17,557 --> 00:24:19,423
I think the fish basket
458
00:24:19,525 --> 00:24:22,193
is probably my best bet.
459
00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:26,997
♪ ♪
460
00:24:29,268 --> 00:24:32,002
♪ ♪
461
00:24:49,255 --> 00:24:51,989
♪ ♪
462
00:25:07,273 --> 00:25:15,012
♪ ♪
463
00:25:18,818 --> 00:25:21,418
I don't feel like
I'm in a very...
464
00:25:21,521 --> 00:25:24,555
Sustainable pattern.
465
00:25:24,657 --> 00:25:26,857
More fishing disappointment.
466
00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:31,195
I just feel like I can't win,
you know?
467
00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:32,796
[sighs]
468
00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:34,298
and then, you're
right back down again.
469
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,200
Up and down.
470
00:25:36,302 --> 00:25:42,172
♪ ♪
471
00:25:42,275 --> 00:25:45,743
I don't really think of myself
as, you know, that hardcore.
472
00:25:45,845 --> 00:25:48,879
But this is hardcore.
[chuckles]
473
00:25:48,981 --> 00:25:52,816
it's a big mental
and physical challenge.
474
00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:55,452
For me, it's been
much more physical.
475
00:25:55,555 --> 00:25:59,456
Just the lack of food.
476
00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:02,393
My mind feels relatively
477
00:26:02,495 --> 00:26:04,194
strong and clear.
478
00:26:04,297 --> 00:26:08,799
♪ ♪
479
00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:11,602
this is very challenging,
you know,
480
00:26:11,704 --> 00:26:15,205
to keep going amidst setbacks.
481
00:26:15,308 --> 00:26:23,013
♪ ♪
482
00:26:38,497 --> 00:26:40,297
- I've got a mustache.
483
00:26:40,399 --> 00:26:41,999
It's gigantic.
484
00:26:44,437 --> 00:26:47,271
That's a mustache.
485
00:26:47,373 --> 00:26:50,207
[vocalizes]
486
00:26:50,309 --> 00:26:52,576
♪ ♪
487
00:26:52,678 --> 00:26:55,546
I don't know how to groom it.
488
00:26:55,648 --> 00:26:59,183
If I can get a handlebar...
489
00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:01,251
♪ ♪
490
00:27:01,354 --> 00:27:03,187
these guys.
491
00:27:03,289 --> 00:27:04,388
♪ ♪
492
00:27:04,490 --> 00:27:07,992
handlebar mustache.
493
00:27:22,274 --> 00:27:27,811
♪ ♪
494
00:27:27,913 --> 00:27:31,248
I need to remedy
my sleeping situation.
495
00:27:31,350 --> 00:27:34,585
All right.
496
00:27:34,687 --> 00:27:35,853
I've had two spine surgeries,
497
00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:39,423
and sleeping on spruced boughs
and gravel
498
00:27:39,525 --> 00:27:41,458
gets kind of rough.
499
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,661
Every day, I wake up,
500
00:27:43,763 --> 00:27:47,197
and my whole left thigh
is numb.
501
00:27:47,299 --> 00:27:48,932
♪ ♪
502
00:27:49,035 --> 00:27:52,870
so I'm gonna make
a suspension hammock bed,
503
00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:54,738
which takes me
completely off the ground
504
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,208
using rope I found
on the beach.
505
00:27:58,310 --> 00:27:59,243
♪ ♪
506
00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:00,644
not a lot.
507
00:28:00,746 --> 00:28:03,013
Maybe it's just
under four feet.
508
00:28:05,418 --> 00:28:08,352
What I'm gonna do
509
00:28:08,454 --> 00:28:11,188
is make a stranded
510
00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:15,225
woven bed
511
00:28:15,327 --> 00:28:17,327
using this
512
00:28:17,430 --> 00:28:20,998
as my supports.
513
00:28:23,269 --> 00:28:25,869
♪ ♪
514
00:28:25,971 --> 00:28:28,939
I don't know what box
to put myself in.
515
00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:33,544
I'm not a survivalist.
I'm not a bushcrafter.
516
00:28:33,646 --> 00:28:34,878
I'm barely a homesteader.
517
00:28:34,980 --> 00:28:38,215
I bought 40 acres
and built a house on it.
518
00:28:38,317 --> 00:28:39,550
♪ ♪
519
00:28:39,652 --> 00:28:42,186
who thinks this is gonna work?
520
00:28:42,288 --> 00:28:44,288
♪ ♪
521
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:46,557
I think it is.
522
00:28:46,659 --> 00:28:49,460
For me, my skill set is that
523
00:28:49,562 --> 00:28:51,762
I'm not afraid to try it
524
00:28:51,864 --> 00:28:54,531
and I'm creative
at problem solving.
525
00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:57,167
I seek out the challenge.
526
00:28:57,269 --> 00:28:58,669
[grunts]
527
00:28:58,771 --> 00:29:00,337
so if I desire
to do something,
528
00:29:00,439 --> 00:29:01,605
I just do it.
529
00:29:01,707 --> 00:29:03,941
It's just like buying 40 acres
530
00:29:04,043 --> 00:29:05,676
and being told there's
no water in those hills
531
00:29:05,778 --> 00:29:08,178
and moving your family
up there
532
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,481
and digging four holes in the
earth until you find water.
533
00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:12,983
And then, I found water.
534
00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,586
People would usually say
that's a scary situation,
535
00:29:15,688 --> 00:29:18,188
but that's how I live my life.
536
00:29:18,290 --> 00:29:20,557
♪ ♪
537
00:29:20,659 --> 00:29:23,594
I didn't grow up with a dad.
538
00:29:23,696 --> 00:29:27,664
And I learned a long time ago,
539
00:29:27,767 --> 00:29:29,566
I'm the only one
that can stop me
540
00:29:29,668 --> 00:29:31,201
from accomplishing anything.
541
00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:33,203
I am.
542
00:29:33,305 --> 00:29:40,010
♪ ♪
543
00:29:41,514 --> 00:29:44,214
so, let's test it out.
544
00:29:44,316 --> 00:29:46,984
♪ ♪
545
00:29:52,258 --> 00:29:54,992
[moaning]
546
00:29:57,229 --> 00:29:58,996
perfect.
547
00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:03,267
This is gonna change
548
00:30:03,369 --> 00:30:06,170
my sleeping.
549
00:30:06,272 --> 00:30:07,004
Awesome.
550
00:30:09,542 --> 00:30:12,409
And I'm off the ground.
551
00:30:12,511 --> 00:30:14,244
[sighs contentedly]
552
00:30:14,346 --> 00:30:16,213
beautiful.
553
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:22,986
♪ ♪
554
00:30:42,074 --> 00:30:44,341
- so I'm totally breaking
every single safety protocol
555
00:30:44,443 --> 00:30:45,943
in my handbook.
556
00:30:46,045 --> 00:30:49,213
I'd say I'm about 40 feet up
in this spruce tree,
557
00:30:49,315 --> 00:30:52,649
but, man,
558
00:30:52,751 --> 00:30:56,420
check out this view
of the lake.
559
00:30:56,522 --> 00:30:58,989
Isn't that fantastic?
560
00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:03,994
I've been thinking
about my family a lot today.
561
00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:07,464
It's not gonna help
keep me focused in the game,
562
00:31:07,566 --> 00:31:09,600
but it's hard not to.
563
00:31:09,702 --> 00:31:13,203
I love them, and I miss them.
564
00:31:13,305 --> 00:31:19,009
♪ ♪
565
00:31:19,111 --> 00:31:22,012
I'm doing everything that
I've been trained to do,
566
00:31:22,114 --> 00:31:25,349
but I can't focus my mind
and my emotions enough.
567
00:31:25,451 --> 00:31:27,017
Let's go, chad.
568
00:31:27,119 --> 00:31:30,287
I just need to change
my mental approach to this.
569
00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:33,457
Be here now.
570
00:31:33,559 --> 00:31:34,858
Go to the survival mind,
571
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:36,426
'cause that survival mind
is not concerned
572
00:31:36,528 --> 00:31:37,861
with your emotions.
573
00:31:37,963 --> 00:31:39,930
It's not concerned
with your frustrations.
574
00:31:40,032 --> 00:31:41,531
It's not concerned
with your mental hurdles.
575
00:31:41,634 --> 00:31:43,000
It's only concerned with,
576
00:31:43,102 --> 00:31:45,869
what is the most important
thing to keep me alive.
577
00:31:45,971 --> 00:31:48,772
I keep feeling breezes
inside the debris hut,
578
00:31:48,874 --> 00:31:51,708
and those are gonna be
not so much fun
579
00:31:51,810 --> 00:31:53,777
when the temperature
really drops.
580
00:31:53,879 --> 00:31:56,480
Being cold is
a big calorie burn,
581
00:31:56,582 --> 00:31:58,916
and I can't afford that.
582
00:31:59,018 --> 00:32:02,653
I have the least fat
of anybody on my body.
583
00:32:02,755 --> 00:32:04,888
I don't have that much
to lose,
584
00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:06,590
and if I'm burning calories
by shivering,
585
00:32:06,692 --> 00:32:09,192
it's gonna be a bad situation.
586
00:32:09,295 --> 00:32:12,396
♪ ♪
587
00:32:12,498 --> 00:32:14,398
there's nice, soft,
588
00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,533
cushy grasses here.
589
00:32:16,635 --> 00:32:17,801
So I think that's gonna help
590
00:32:17,903 --> 00:32:21,204
both for water shedding
and insulation.
591
00:32:21,307 --> 00:32:24,441
♪ ♪
592
00:32:24,543 --> 00:32:26,009
thank you, my friends.
593
00:32:28,314 --> 00:32:30,447
Thank you.
594
00:32:30,549 --> 00:32:31,982
The grasses, the mosses.
595
00:32:33,819 --> 00:32:36,987
There's no such thing
as enough debris.
596
00:32:40,659 --> 00:32:42,159
Oh, [bleep].
[hornets buzzing]
597
00:32:42,261 --> 00:32:43,193
hornets.
598
00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:50,000
♪ ♪
599
00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:55,272
mm-mm, don't get me.
600
00:32:55,374 --> 00:32:56,273
Ah, [bleep]!
601
00:32:56,375 --> 00:32:58,208
Ah, [bleep].
602
00:32:58,310 --> 00:33:00,010
Whoa!
603
00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:06,149
[bleep]!
604
00:33:06,251 --> 00:33:07,384
[groans]
605
00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:08,151
[buzzing continues]
606
00:33:08,253 --> 00:33:10,420
[bleep]!
607
00:33:10,522 --> 00:33:13,457
It's the end of that.
608
00:33:13,559 --> 00:33:16,326
Little bastards got me.
609
00:33:16,428 --> 00:33:18,195
Look at them all.
610
00:33:18,297 --> 00:33:20,197
[sighs]
611
00:33:20,299 --> 00:33:21,832
♪ ♪
612
00:33:21,934 --> 00:33:24,201
look, they're all over
my little pile here.
613
00:33:24,303 --> 00:33:27,471
♪ ♪
614
00:33:27,573 --> 00:33:30,674
got my handful from them.
615
00:33:30,776 --> 00:33:33,210
[sighs]
well, that sucks [bleep].
616
00:33:33,312 --> 00:33:34,411
♪ ♪
617
00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:38,215
let's go home, chad.
618
00:33:38,317 --> 00:33:40,650
♪ ♪
619
00:33:40,753 --> 00:33:42,786
this is
a very unique challenge.
620
00:33:42,888 --> 00:33:46,423
You can't let
the negative thoughts
621
00:33:46,525 --> 00:33:48,258
get the best of you.
622
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,193
Ah, [bleep].
623
00:33:50,295 --> 00:33:57,000
♪ ♪
624
00:34:00,873 --> 00:34:03,807
gosh, what a blessing it is
to be here.
625
00:34:03,909 --> 00:34:06,209
I mean, it's hard as [bleep].
[chuckles]
626
00:34:06,311 --> 00:34:07,811
♪ ♪
627
00:34:07,913 --> 00:34:10,847
it's hard to have failures
on television.
628
00:34:10,949 --> 00:34:13,283
It's so hard on your mind
and your emotions,
629
00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:16,520
so [bleep] hard.
630
00:34:16,622 --> 00:34:18,655
Anytime I've ever done this,
631
00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,690
it was for, like,
a week at a time,
632
00:34:20,793 --> 00:34:24,461
but that was, like,
planned 10 days.
633
00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:25,796
This is, like, unplanned,
634
00:34:25,898 --> 00:34:28,965
who knows how the hell long
I'll be gone
635
00:34:29,068 --> 00:34:32,335
from my family, and my life,
and blah, blah, blah.
636
00:34:32,438 --> 00:34:33,703
And I don't care.
637
00:34:33,806 --> 00:34:38,575
Anybody can judge me
all you want.
638
00:34:38,677 --> 00:34:40,677
You are not out here doing it.
639
00:34:40,779 --> 00:34:42,979
So who the hell are you
to judge?
640
00:34:43,082 --> 00:34:47,317
Just sit there and eat
your popcorn and your chips
641
00:34:47,419 --> 00:34:48,518
and get all fat
642
00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:51,588
while I'm out here starving!
643
00:34:51,690 --> 00:34:54,191
For your [bleep] entertainment!
644
00:34:54,293 --> 00:34:56,326
♪ ♪
645
00:34:56,428 --> 00:34:58,628
to entertain you.
646
00:34:58,730 --> 00:35:01,331
I'm going [bleep] crazy
out here
647
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:04,468
to entertain you.
648
00:35:04,570 --> 00:35:06,169
What the [bleep] is that?
649
00:35:06,271 --> 00:35:08,905
[bleep].
650
00:35:09,007 --> 00:35:11,808
You're [bleep] sitting at home
eating right now!
651
00:35:11,910 --> 00:35:14,678
You're not out here.
You're not out here.
652
00:35:14,780 --> 00:35:17,214
Who the [bleep] are you
to judge?
653
00:35:17,316 --> 00:35:23,987
♪ ♪
654
00:35:37,536 --> 00:35:39,202
- my teeth are, like...
655
00:35:39,304 --> 00:35:45,475
♪ ♪
656
00:35:45,577 --> 00:35:48,645
like, totally discolored.
657
00:35:48,747 --> 00:35:50,313
Like, I saw that
and I was like,
658
00:35:50,415 --> 00:35:53,183
"what the hell?"
659
00:35:53,285 --> 00:35:54,684
♪ ♪
660
00:35:54,786 --> 00:35:56,720
I don't know,
something I'm eating
661
00:35:56,822 --> 00:36:00,323
or just maybe
just the malnutrition.
662
00:36:00,425 --> 00:36:00,991
I have no idea.
663
00:36:06,265 --> 00:36:10,734
♪ ♪
664
00:36:10,836 --> 00:36:14,838
right now,
it's really pretty dire.
665
00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:17,207
The fish trap was
really discouraging.
666
00:36:17,309 --> 00:36:18,775
♪ ♪
667
00:36:18,877 --> 00:36:20,877
today, I might
kind of look around
668
00:36:20,979 --> 00:36:23,480
'cause I've definitely
seen some grouse.
669
00:36:23,582 --> 00:36:25,215
I need to get some food.
670
00:36:25,317 --> 00:36:26,249
♪ ♪
671
00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:27,984
and the bow.
672
00:36:30,489 --> 00:36:32,422
I feel like I need to...
673
00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:33,990
Cinch my pants again.
674
00:36:36,662 --> 00:36:38,461
Thank goodness for these layers
675
00:36:38,564 --> 00:36:40,430
or these pants would be
676
00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:42,199
falling right off me.
677
00:36:42,301 --> 00:36:44,935
♪ ♪
678
00:36:45,037 --> 00:36:46,903
I know that I'm under
100 pounds at this point
679
00:36:47,005 --> 00:36:49,172
and I know that this is
dangerous territory.
680
00:36:49,274 --> 00:36:50,874
Okay.
681
00:36:50,976 --> 00:36:52,609
Despite eating as much
as I possibly can
682
00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:55,145
of a variety of weird [bleep],
683
00:36:55,247 --> 00:36:58,782
I'm trying my hardest to get
as many things into my body
684
00:36:58,884 --> 00:37:02,419
as possible,
and it's not working.
685
00:37:02,521 --> 00:37:04,654
If I can't get food,
686
00:37:04,756 --> 00:37:07,190
then I can't--
I can't be here.
687
00:37:07,292 --> 00:37:10,293
♪ ♪
688
00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:13,463
take it easy.
689
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,198
I need to move quickly.
690
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:18,201
♪ ♪
691
00:37:18,303 --> 00:37:19,970
grouse.
692
00:37:20,072 --> 00:37:22,739
I've seen the scat
a couple of different times,
693
00:37:22,841 --> 00:37:28,011
and they are near
my living area.
694
00:37:32,818 --> 00:37:37,153
Let's just sit and listen
for a while.
695
00:37:37,256 --> 00:37:39,189
Oh, wow.
696
00:37:39,291 --> 00:37:40,423
♪ ♪
697
00:37:40,525 --> 00:37:43,727
I'm just too skinny.
698
00:37:43,829 --> 00:37:46,062
I was afraid
that losing weight,
699
00:37:46,164 --> 00:37:49,733
it might, like, bring up stuff
from when I was young.
700
00:37:49,835 --> 00:37:51,401
I had an eating disorder
for years,
701
00:37:51,503 --> 00:37:54,437
and looking back,
702
00:37:54,539 --> 00:37:56,740
it's so disturbing,
703
00:37:56,842 --> 00:38:00,210
you know,
that punishment of self.
704
00:38:00,312 --> 00:38:01,344
♪ ♪
705
00:38:01,446 --> 00:38:02,812
I was plagued
706
00:38:02,914 --> 00:38:06,783
with horrible thoughts
about myself.
707
00:38:06,885 --> 00:38:09,185
I don't think
anybody deserves that.
708
00:38:09,288 --> 00:38:11,321
♪ ♪
709
00:38:11,423 --> 00:38:13,723
I'm just so glad
710
00:38:13,825 --> 00:38:16,926
to have made that shift
years ago
711
00:38:17,029 --> 00:38:20,196
into a different way of being
and thinking.
712
00:38:20,299 --> 00:38:21,331
♪ ♪
713
00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:23,533
I think it's become
a lot more important for me
714
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:26,202
to be healthy and strong.
715
00:38:26,305 --> 00:38:27,404
♪ ♪
716
00:38:27,506 --> 00:38:29,205
I'm gonna head back.
717
00:38:29,308 --> 00:38:31,775
♪ ♪
718
00:38:31,877 --> 00:38:34,811
you know, this body is
all we have.
719
00:38:34,913 --> 00:38:36,946
So I think there's a level
for us all
720
00:38:37,049 --> 00:38:40,283
of, you know, willingness
to push ourselves,
721
00:38:40,385 --> 00:38:42,552
and, for me,
722
00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:44,020
I'm not going to push myself
723
00:38:44,122 --> 00:38:48,191
into any more of a danger zone
than I'm already in.
724
00:38:48,293 --> 00:38:50,994
♪ ♪
725
00:39:28,266 --> 00:39:34,003
♪ ♪
726
00:39:41,413 --> 00:39:42,212
[dramatic music]
727
00:39:42,314 --> 00:39:48,985
♪ ♪
728
00:40:31,363 --> 00:40:32,996
[exhales slowly]
729
00:40:56,555 --> 00:40:58,188
[exhales sharply]
okay.
730
00:40:58,290 --> 00:41:01,724
♪ ♪
731
00:41:01,827 --> 00:41:04,160
I start having
these chest pains.
732
00:41:04,262 --> 00:41:06,896
Oh, boy.
733
00:41:06,998 --> 00:41:10,767
No amount of glory is worth
harming yourself
734
00:41:10,869 --> 00:41:14,003
to the level
that starvation can do.
735
00:41:21,279 --> 00:41:22,011
[sighs]
736
00:41:26,518 --> 00:41:29,586
I think this is enough.
737
00:41:29,688 --> 00:41:32,989
[yellowbrick buttons beeping]
738
00:41:35,594 --> 00:41:37,193
I am officially tapping out.
739
00:41:37,295 --> 00:41:43,466
♪ ♪
740
00:41:43,568 --> 00:41:45,568
I made a moral decision
741
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:47,604
for my health and my future
742
00:41:47,706 --> 00:41:50,940
that I have no trouble making.
743
00:41:51,042 --> 00:41:54,477
But there's intense grief
with the loss of--
744
00:41:54,579 --> 00:41:56,212
of what could have been.
745
00:41:56,314 --> 00:41:57,447
♪ ♪
746
00:41:57,549 --> 00:42:00,116
a picture of my guys.
747
00:42:00,218 --> 00:42:05,188
There was the hope we'd have
the money to have mike, but...
748
00:42:05,290 --> 00:42:07,423
♪ ♪
749
00:42:07,526 --> 00:42:10,293
[sighs]
it's okay.
750
00:42:10,395 --> 00:42:12,195
I love you guys.
751
00:42:12,297 --> 00:42:15,565
♪ ♪
752
00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:18,201
I'm coming home to you, honey.
753
00:42:18,303 --> 00:42:22,005
♪ ♪
754
00:42:24,276 --> 00:42:31,014
♪ ♪
755
00:42:35,687 --> 00:42:38,187
- hi, michelle.
What's going on?
756
00:42:38,290 --> 00:42:40,723
- Well...
757
00:42:40,825 --> 00:42:43,226
I've been pretty beat up
by this place.
758
00:42:43,328 --> 00:42:45,662
[chuckles]
759
00:42:45,764 --> 00:42:48,798
I just can't procure
enough food.
760
00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:50,967
The hardest thing
about leaving this space,
761
00:42:51,069 --> 00:42:55,705
I think, is the "what
could have been," you know?
762
00:42:55,807 --> 00:42:58,007
If you had made
different choices,
763
00:42:58,109 --> 00:43:00,810
maybe things would have aligned
in a different way.
764
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:04,581
But in terms of the experiences
I've had,
765
00:43:04,683 --> 00:43:06,683
I feel really good about them.
766
00:43:06,785 --> 00:43:09,419
I feel like
I'm taking a lot of...
767
00:43:09,521 --> 00:43:11,187
Magic and heart with me.
768
00:43:11,289 --> 00:43:15,458
♪ ♪
769
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:16,993
I took myself to a point
770
00:43:17,095 --> 00:43:21,898
where any further,
and this could be really bad.
771
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,068
I know what it's like
to lose your health.
772
00:43:25,170 --> 00:43:28,571
When I was young, it affected
every part of my life
773
00:43:28,673 --> 00:43:31,608
and the quality of my life.
774
00:43:31,710 --> 00:43:34,911
I felt like I was too far gone
775
00:43:35,013 --> 00:43:39,682
to pull myself back up
into functionality.
776
00:43:39,784 --> 00:43:42,118
Having a strong,
healthy body is
777
00:43:42,220 --> 00:43:45,188
one of the greatest gifts that
you can have in this life.
778
00:43:45,290 --> 00:43:52,996
♪ ♪
779
00:44:06,778 --> 00:44:08,611
- ♪ a-bow hunting,
we shall go ♪
780
00:44:08,713 --> 00:44:12,715
♪ a-bow hunting, we shall go ♪
781
00:44:12,817 --> 00:44:14,684
I think am on
to something there.
782
00:44:14,786 --> 00:44:16,986
I might develop that
a little more.
783
00:44:21,292 --> 00:44:23,292
All right.
784
00:44:23,395 --> 00:44:24,994
Wish me luck.
785
00:44:26,264 --> 00:44:28,431
♪ ♪
786
00:44:28,533 --> 00:44:30,667
it's so frustrating
787
00:44:30,769 --> 00:44:34,003
to not be able
to catch a fish,
788
00:44:34,105 --> 00:44:39,008
and so, I feel like
I need to focus on hunting.
789
00:44:39,110 --> 00:44:41,210
That's really the only option
I have right now.
790
00:44:41,312 --> 00:44:43,813
♪ ♪
791
00:44:43,915 --> 00:44:46,549
this style of hunting
that I like is
792
00:44:46,651 --> 00:44:48,718
a method of still hunting,
793
00:44:48,820 --> 00:44:51,354
where you move
through the woods
794
00:44:51,456 --> 00:44:53,189
very, very slowly.
795
00:44:53,291 --> 00:44:54,991
♪ ♪
796
00:44:55,093 --> 00:44:57,060
a large portion of the time,
you're just stopped
797
00:44:57,162 --> 00:44:59,996
and you're looking and you're
listening for wildlife.
798
00:45:06,638 --> 00:45:10,540
The littlest noise can mean
799
00:45:10,642 --> 00:45:12,308
the presence of an animal.
800
00:45:12,410 --> 00:45:15,011
[birds chirping]
801
00:45:20,618 --> 00:45:22,985
the key is total awareness.
802
00:45:24,622 --> 00:45:28,257
You have to be very present
803
00:45:28,359 --> 00:45:30,960
and calm,
804
00:45:31,062 --> 00:45:33,396
because if you have
other things on your mind,
805
00:45:33,498 --> 00:45:34,430
you're not there.
806
00:45:34,532 --> 00:45:35,998
You're not present.
807
00:45:47,278 --> 00:45:50,012
♪ ♪
808
00:45:52,283 --> 00:45:53,983
♪ ♪
809
00:46:03,261 --> 00:46:05,995
♪ ♪
810
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:51,007
[thrums]
811
00:46:54,279 --> 00:46:56,479
♪ ♪
812
00:46:56,581 --> 00:46:59,482
well, that's awesome.
813
00:46:59,584 --> 00:47:01,851
Some fresh deer sign.
814
00:47:01,953 --> 00:47:03,786
That gives me a little bit
of confidence
815
00:47:03,888 --> 00:47:06,756
that we're gonna have
some deer here.
816
00:47:06,858 --> 00:47:07,890
I've been struggling
a little bit.
817
00:47:07,992 --> 00:47:09,659
That gives me something
to look forward to,
818
00:47:09,761 --> 00:47:13,663
which is exactly
what I needed.
819
00:47:13,765 --> 00:47:15,431
Maybe, you know,
I got a chance
820
00:47:15,533 --> 00:47:18,467
to put a deer down.
821
00:47:18,570 --> 00:47:20,436
That's good. That's...
822
00:47:20,538 --> 00:47:22,205
That's really good.
823
00:47:22,307 --> 00:47:24,006
♪ ♪
824
00:47:28,413 --> 00:47:30,213
[dramatic music]
825
00:47:30,315 --> 00:47:36,986
♪ ♪
826
00:47:51,269 --> 00:47:53,002
- whoo.
827
00:47:55,773 --> 00:47:58,307
I'm feeling
kind of ragged today.
828
00:47:58,409 --> 00:48:00,710
A little worn.
829
00:48:00,812 --> 00:48:04,881
Overall, kind of
rundown physically.
830
00:48:04,983 --> 00:48:06,883
I need to step up
my food-gathering game,
831
00:48:06,985 --> 00:48:09,318
so maybe instead of an hour
of grasses,
832
00:48:09,420 --> 00:48:11,721
I'll go fishing.
833
00:48:11,823 --> 00:48:13,522
I gotta get catching.
I gotta...
834
00:48:13,625 --> 00:48:15,725
I gotta turn my luck around.
835
00:48:15,827 --> 00:48:17,493
I need the food.
I just need the food.
836
00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:20,196
That's all there is to it.
837
00:48:20,298 --> 00:48:27,003
♪ ♪
838
00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:29,739
so much crap to carry, chad.
839
00:48:29,841 --> 00:48:34,410
So much crap to carry,
including you.
840
00:48:34,512 --> 00:48:36,212
My trusty sidekick.
841
00:48:36,314 --> 00:48:37,313
♪ ♪
842
00:48:37,415 --> 00:48:39,849
my famous maker.
843
00:48:39,951 --> 00:48:42,184
At this rate, you'll be
my infamous maker.
844
00:48:42,287 --> 00:48:44,420
♪ ♪
845
00:48:44,522 --> 00:48:45,922
I'm not living up to
846
00:48:46,024 --> 00:48:49,525
what I want to live up to
as a survivalist.
847
00:48:49,627 --> 00:48:51,527
It's important to me, chad.
848
00:48:51,629 --> 00:48:53,696
It's super important to me.
849
00:48:53,798 --> 00:48:55,298
You just don't understand,
do you?
850
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:56,732
How could you?
851
00:48:56,834 --> 00:48:59,201
You're just
an inanimate damn object.
852
00:48:59,304 --> 00:49:00,303
♪ ♪
853
00:49:00,405 --> 00:49:02,038
I'm trying.
854
00:49:02,140 --> 00:49:04,907
I'm doing everything
that I've been trained to do,
855
00:49:05,009 --> 00:49:09,845
but my awareness is not
where it needs to be
856
00:49:09,948 --> 00:49:12,214
personally, for me,
to be successful.
857
00:49:12,317 --> 00:49:14,550
♪ ♪
858
00:49:14,652 --> 00:49:15,551
just started realizing that
859
00:49:15,653 --> 00:49:20,323
over the last 13 years now,
860
00:49:20,425 --> 00:49:21,357
I've had my wife
861
00:49:21,459 --> 00:49:24,994
to help keep me focused
on the right things.
862
00:49:27,932 --> 00:49:31,200
So I'm gonna sing my song,
my wife's song.
863
00:49:31,302 --> 00:49:33,002
Why not?
864
00:49:39,744 --> 00:49:42,912
♪ ring ring goes
the dinner bell ♪
865
00:49:43,014 --> 00:49:47,316
♪ all of mama's children come
a-running up ♪
866
00:49:47,418 --> 00:49:49,452
♪ from the gut ♪
867
00:49:49,554 --> 00:49:51,320
♪ to what she's put ♪
868
00:49:51,422 --> 00:49:55,458
♪ on the table ♪
869
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:59,462
come on.
Catch a big boy.
870
00:49:59,564 --> 00:50:00,796
♪ coal's still hot ♪
871
00:50:00,898 --> 00:50:03,632
♪ and the sweet smell
of wood smoke ♪
872
00:50:03,735 --> 00:50:05,768
♪ the three stones she uses ♪
873
00:50:05,870 --> 00:50:10,573
♪ and the wood spoon
made from oak ♪
874
00:50:10,675 --> 00:50:13,175
♪ daddy gets the firewood ♪
875
00:50:13,277 --> 00:50:19,815
♪ ♪
876
00:50:19,917 --> 00:50:22,651
♪ he washes off
in a cool gut stream ♪
877
00:50:22,754 --> 00:50:26,389
♪ after climbing
a coconut tree ♪
878
00:50:26,491 --> 00:50:29,558
♪ for his family ♪
879
00:50:29,660 --> 00:50:32,595
♪ oh, what a sight to see ♪
880
00:50:32,697 --> 00:50:35,164
♪ as he returns triumphantly ♪
881
00:50:35,266 --> 00:50:38,000
♪ ♪
882
00:50:41,339 --> 00:50:44,006
[chuckles]
883
00:50:50,715 --> 00:50:54,183
[sighs]
okay, that's it. Done.
884
00:50:54,285 --> 00:50:55,584
♪ ♪
885
00:50:55,686 --> 00:50:57,787
I've been gone for weeks now.
886
00:50:57,889 --> 00:51:01,323
And what the hell,
I got a beautiful,
887
00:51:01,426 --> 00:51:03,192
amazing family.
888
00:51:03,294 --> 00:51:04,593
♪ ♪
889
00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:06,562
that's more important in life
890
00:51:06,664 --> 00:51:09,665
than winning a competition.
891
00:51:09,767 --> 00:51:12,334
And they are not
gonna judge me.
892
00:51:12,437 --> 00:51:14,470
So, go ahead.
893
00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:15,404
Judge me all you want.
894
00:51:15,506 --> 00:51:18,574
I'm ready for it.
895
00:51:18,676 --> 00:51:20,609
[yellowbrick buttons beeping]
896
00:51:20,711 --> 00:51:23,012
good morning.
This is matt.
897
00:51:24,615 --> 00:51:27,183
I am officially tapping out.
898
00:51:27,285 --> 00:51:32,188
♪ ♪
899
00:51:32,290 --> 00:51:34,523
oh, chad.
900
00:51:34,625 --> 00:51:36,358
It was hard.
It was hard.
901
00:51:36,461 --> 00:51:38,294
But you know what?
902
00:51:38,396 --> 00:51:40,996
Family, friends,
903
00:51:41,099 --> 00:51:45,301
the people around us is
more important than my ego.
904
00:51:45,403 --> 00:51:47,536
And I think this
905
00:51:47,638 --> 00:51:50,873
has made me a better person.
906
00:51:50,975 --> 00:51:53,476
As hard as it is
professionally to quit...
907
00:51:53,578 --> 00:51:56,612
Here they come, chadical.
908
00:51:56,714 --> 00:51:58,447
It doesn't make me a failure.
909
00:51:58,549 --> 00:51:59,882
It's just a failure.
910
00:51:59,984 --> 00:52:02,751
And that's a huge difference
right there.
911
00:52:02,854 --> 00:52:04,920
I've never allowed that
for myself.
912
00:52:05,022 --> 00:52:09,291
This is the end of our time
together, chadster.
913
00:52:09,393 --> 00:52:11,427
I will miss you.
914
00:52:11,529 --> 00:52:13,996
I will totally miss you.
915
00:52:16,367 --> 00:52:17,833
I'm ready to go.
916
00:52:17,935 --> 00:52:20,903
Yeah, I mean, I had
an amazing experience.
917
00:52:21,005 --> 00:52:24,540
And I realized that
I wasn't happy being alone
918
00:52:24,642 --> 00:52:25,474
and I didn't wanna fight it.
919
00:52:25,576 --> 00:52:28,511
I totally miss my family.
920
00:52:28,613 --> 00:52:30,880
I totally miss my friends.
921
00:52:30,982 --> 00:52:32,848
I totally miss my life.
I miss all of that.
922
00:52:32,950 --> 00:52:34,517
And if people I want
to call it a failure,
923
00:52:34,619 --> 00:52:36,886
then I accept that failure.
924
00:52:36,988 --> 00:52:39,755
I don't wanna be driven
by the fear of judgment.
925
00:52:39,857 --> 00:52:41,190
I wanna be driven
by what's in my heart.
926
00:52:41,292 --> 00:52:46,262
♪ ♪
927
00:52:46,364 --> 00:52:48,531
my ideals
928
00:52:48,633 --> 00:52:51,333
have not matched my heart
929
00:52:51,435 --> 00:52:54,303
for years now.
930
00:52:54,405 --> 00:52:56,572
My ideals say
931
00:52:56,674 --> 00:52:59,742
that the solo survivalist is
932
00:52:59,844 --> 00:53:02,211
the ultimate
of the survivalists.
933
00:53:02,313 --> 00:53:04,480
♪ ♪
934
00:53:04,582 --> 00:53:07,416
but now, I'm realizing
935
00:53:07,518 --> 00:53:09,185
that that's [bleep].
936
00:53:09,287 --> 00:53:10,819
♪ ♪
937
00:53:10,922 --> 00:53:14,390
this ultimate survivalist
dies alone.
938
00:53:14,492 --> 00:53:16,425
When he passes on,
939
00:53:16,527 --> 00:53:19,195
his kids are alone.
940
00:53:19,297 --> 00:53:21,530
♪ ♪
941
00:53:21,632 --> 00:53:24,466
and even deeper than that,
942
00:53:24,569 --> 00:53:27,403
I realized that family
943
00:53:27,505 --> 00:53:30,439
is more important
944
00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:32,208
than anything else.
945
00:53:32,310 --> 00:53:39,982
♪ ♪
946
00:53:58,903 --> 00:54:01,003
- well, let's see
if we can catch something.
947
00:54:03,874 --> 00:54:07,009
Jacket make too much noise
in the bushes.
948
00:54:11,949 --> 00:54:14,383
In case I happen to see one
of the three deer
949
00:54:14,485 --> 00:54:15,985
that's around here.
950
00:54:17,388 --> 00:54:18,988
Maybe two deer.
951
00:54:21,359 --> 00:54:23,292
They ain't many.
952
00:54:23,394 --> 00:54:25,194
That's for sure.
953
00:54:25,296 --> 00:54:30,466
♪ ♪
954
00:54:30,568 --> 00:54:32,601
I found one little ridge
955
00:54:32,703 --> 00:54:35,170
where I can access that patch
956
00:54:35,273 --> 00:54:39,208
where I was finding that fresh
deer sign yesterday evening.
957
00:54:39,310 --> 00:54:42,478
♪ ♪
958
00:54:42,580 --> 00:54:43,445
I tell you, things that
959
00:54:43,547 --> 00:54:46,415
normally I wouldn't even
960
00:54:46,517 --> 00:54:48,384
take a second glance
961
00:54:48,486 --> 00:54:50,653
kind of wear you out
962
00:54:50,755 --> 00:54:53,188
when you're not eating
every day.
963
00:54:53,291 --> 00:54:59,995
♪ ♪
964
00:55:04,735 --> 00:55:08,203
I'm seeing more fresh sign
in here.
965
00:55:08,306 --> 00:55:15,010
♪ ♪
966
00:55:23,254 --> 00:55:29,992
♪ ♪
967
00:55:31,295 --> 00:55:33,996
[growling]
968
00:55:35,266 --> 00:55:42,004
♪ ♪
969
00:56:45,403 --> 00:56:48,203
[dramatic music]
970
00:56:48,305 --> 00:56:55,010
♪ ♪
971
00:56:56,914 --> 00:56:59,481
- michelle, thanks
for being here with me.
972
00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:00,682
- Thanks for having me.
973
00:57:00,785 --> 00:57:01,817
- Everybody who's been
on "alone"
974
00:57:01,919 --> 00:57:03,852
knows what it's like
to lose a lot of weight.
975
00:57:03,954 --> 00:57:05,721
When did you realize
you were nearing the end?
976
00:57:05,823 --> 00:57:07,556
- You know,
you look at your hands,
977
00:57:07,658 --> 00:57:08,724
and you don't recognize them.
978
00:57:08,826 --> 00:57:10,726
And your body becomes
a fearful thing.
979
00:57:10,828 --> 00:57:12,728
You notice
you're losing weight,
980
00:57:12,830 --> 00:57:14,897
but you're wearing
so many clothes
981
00:57:14,999 --> 00:57:17,900
that you can kind of mask that
for a while.
982
00:57:18,002 --> 00:57:20,536
And then, you see yourself
without clothes on,
983
00:57:20,638 --> 00:57:22,438
and it's like--
[gasps]
984
00:57:22,540 --> 00:57:23,872
I kind of washed myself,
985
00:57:23,974 --> 00:57:27,176
and that's when I looked
at my body and went...
986
00:57:27,278 --> 00:57:29,878
Yikes.
987
00:57:29,980 --> 00:57:32,581
My mouth filled with
this sweet saliva taste
988
00:57:32,683 --> 00:57:34,550
four days prior to me tapping,
989
00:57:34,652 --> 00:57:35,951
and that's basically ketosis--
990
00:57:36,053 --> 00:57:39,822
when your body's eating
whatever reserves it has--
991
00:57:39,924 --> 00:57:42,558
so I knew--I knew things
were going downhill.
992
00:57:42,660 --> 00:57:44,726
My inability to procure fish
993
00:57:44,829 --> 00:57:48,764
was what led to me
having to tap.
994
00:57:48,866 --> 00:57:49,865
- Let's talk about
your food gathering.
995
00:57:49,967 --> 00:57:52,100
In a survival situation,
you have to be willing
996
00:57:52,203 --> 00:57:55,804
to eat anything that other
people will not consider doing.
997
00:57:55,906 --> 00:57:58,474
You were eating
ants, crickets, snails.
998
00:57:58,576 --> 00:58:00,776
- I ate whatever I could.
999
00:58:00,878 --> 00:58:03,345
But I found a little bit
of a fish carcass
1000
00:58:03,447 --> 00:58:05,147
along this trail.
1001
00:58:05,249 --> 00:58:08,650
I gathered whatever I could
find that I knew is edible,
1002
00:58:08,752 --> 00:58:10,586
and even maybe
some things that
1003
00:58:10,688 --> 00:58:12,988
are on the questionable side.
1004
00:58:16,093 --> 00:58:18,827
I wanted to get as much
varied nutrition as I could,
1005
00:58:18,929 --> 00:58:21,763
so I was definitely
pushing that envelope
1006
00:58:21,866 --> 00:58:23,131
of just trying anything
I could eat.
1007
00:58:23,234 --> 00:58:24,299
Mmm.
1008
00:58:24,401 --> 00:58:27,035
- You used the cow parsnip
stalk to blow on your fire.
1009
00:58:27,137 --> 00:58:29,304
But cow parsnip can give people
an allergic reaction.
1010
00:58:29,406 --> 00:58:30,873
What happened?
1011
00:58:30,975 --> 00:58:32,574
- I'm still not certain
exactly what it was
1012
00:58:32,676 --> 00:58:34,910
that was causing my illness,
1013
00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:36,879
but I did feel that
there was a connection
1014
00:58:36,981 --> 00:58:40,482
between the stalk
and the bouts of nausea
1015
00:58:40,584 --> 00:58:40,983
and pain I was having.
1016
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,053
And so, when I was
putting that together,
1017
00:58:45,155 --> 00:58:47,856
I thought, "ooh, this--
maybe this isn't cow parsnip.
1018
00:58:47,958 --> 00:58:50,125
Maybe I hadn't
identified it correctly."
1019
00:58:50,227 --> 00:58:52,027
wow.
1020
00:58:52,129 --> 00:58:54,463
Water hemlock and cow parsnip
looked very similar
1021
00:58:54,565 --> 00:58:56,765
in their dead phases.
1022
00:58:56,867 --> 00:58:57,966
So then, I got
very concerned that
1023
00:58:58,068 --> 00:59:00,469
maybe I had poisoned
myself with water hemlock.
1024
00:59:00,571 --> 00:59:05,440
I'm worried that the tube
1025
00:59:05,543 --> 00:59:09,845
is, um, not cow parsnip.
1026
00:59:09,947 --> 00:59:12,047
- What was that like
being so sick and alone?
1027
00:59:12,149 --> 00:59:13,916
- I've spent a lot of time
in the wilderness by myself,
1028
00:59:14,018 --> 00:59:16,852
and honestly, that was
one of the scariest times
1029
00:59:16,954 --> 00:59:19,721
because I wasn't certain
what was going on.
1030
00:59:19,823 --> 00:59:24,192
I had another just
intense wave of...
1031
00:59:24,295 --> 00:59:27,462
Nausea.
1032
00:59:27,565 --> 00:59:29,665
I really had some panic
1033
00:59:29,767 --> 00:59:30,699
because I thought,
"oh, my gosh,
1034
00:59:30,801 --> 00:59:32,668
"I'm so far
from nearest hospital.
1035
00:59:32,770 --> 00:59:35,671
I could be
in deep trouble here."
1036
00:59:35,773 --> 00:59:37,205
I'm just gonna sit
for a second.
1037
00:59:37,308 --> 00:59:39,575
[exhales]
1038
00:59:39,677 --> 00:59:40,742
and there were moments where
1039
00:59:40,844 --> 00:59:43,545
I was just holding
the yellowbrick,
1040
00:59:43,647 --> 00:59:45,714
ready to push that button
1041
00:59:45,816 --> 00:59:46,815
in the event
of things getting worse.
1042
00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:48,550
And I came through
the other side, luckily.
1043
00:59:48,652 --> 00:59:50,619
- Yeah, you did.
- [chuckles]
1044
00:59:50,721 --> 00:59:52,955
- your bear experience
was epic.
1045
00:59:53,057 --> 00:59:55,958
There you were on the beach
calmly eating rose hips,
1046
00:59:56,060 --> 00:59:59,361
and this big, beautiful bear
comes swimming at you.
1047
00:59:59,463 --> 01:00:02,864
- No freakin' way.
1048
01:00:02,967 --> 01:00:05,467
It was again one
of those kind of surreal,
1049
01:00:05,569 --> 01:00:07,069
like, shocking moments.
1050
01:00:07,171 --> 01:00:08,904
And, you know, minding my
own business, eating rose hips,
1051
01:00:09,006 --> 01:00:10,572
and all of a sudden,
I'm like, "oh, my gosh.
1052
01:00:10,674 --> 01:00:11,773
There's a bear right there."
1053
01:00:11,875 --> 01:00:16,111
it's gonna dock up
into brush in here.
1054
01:00:16,213 --> 01:00:20,082
And then, I'm like, "okay,
how do I feet out of here?"
1055
01:00:20,184 --> 01:00:22,584
you know, get, you know,
with all my gear and my stuff.
1056
01:00:22,686 --> 01:00:24,720
And so, I was able to do that
1057
01:00:24,822 --> 01:00:26,822
to kind of just
let him continue,
1058
01:00:26,924 --> 01:00:27,823
and then he caught a fish
right then.
1059
01:00:27,925 --> 01:00:30,859
He's got a freaking
giant fish in his mouth.
1060
01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:32,861
- You must have just wanted
to rush out there
1061
01:00:32,963 --> 01:00:35,464
and grab that thing
right out of his mouth.
1062
01:00:35,566 --> 01:00:37,699
- I went and got my pot
1063
01:00:37,801 --> 01:00:39,868
and followed him,
hoping for scraps.
1064
01:00:39,970 --> 01:00:42,270
- You were like a raven
walking behind him.
1065
01:00:42,373 --> 01:00:43,305
[both laugh]
1066
01:00:43,407 --> 01:00:45,641
- absolutely.
1067
01:00:45,743 --> 01:00:46,875
But he left me nothing.
- Aw.
1068
01:00:46,977 --> 01:00:49,444
I can't imagine how you felt
in that moment.
1069
01:00:49,546 --> 01:00:50,512
- Super disappointed.
1070
01:00:50,614 --> 01:00:52,814
I was like--really thought
1071
01:00:52,916 --> 01:00:55,217
I was gonna get some
nice chunks of fish,
1072
01:00:55,319 --> 01:00:58,086
so...Yeah.
1073
01:00:58,188 --> 01:01:01,757
- What will you remember most
about this beautiful place?
1074
01:01:01,859 --> 01:01:04,660
- Aw, the beauty,
the promise of each day.
1075
01:01:04,762 --> 01:01:07,696
It's just
an extra ordinary gift,
1076
01:01:07,798 --> 01:01:09,898
and every single day
I was out there,
1077
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,601
I felt like the luckiest person
in the world.
1078
01:01:12,703 --> 01:01:14,536
I believe we carry the stories
1079
01:01:14,638 --> 01:01:16,605
that we've lived with us,
1080
01:01:16,707 --> 01:01:17,572
but we also carry the places.
1081
01:01:17,675 --> 01:01:19,741
They have this impact on us,
1082
01:01:19,843 --> 01:01:21,543
and, you know,
that changes you,
1083
01:01:21,645 --> 01:01:23,979
and it's with you forever.
1084
01:01:24,081 --> 01:01:26,581
- Michelle, thanks so much
for sharing your story.
1085
01:01:26,684 --> 01:01:27,683
It was a pleasure to meet you.
1086
01:01:27,785 --> 01:01:29,184
- So nice to meet you too,
nikki.
1087
01:01:29,286 --> 01:01:31,453
♪ ♪
1088
01:01:31,555 --> 01:01:33,655
- now, I have the shakes.
1089
01:01:33,757 --> 01:01:36,258
I'm feeling nauseous.
[groans]
1090
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:37,859
[retches]
1091
01:01:37,961 --> 01:01:39,594
- it's pulling all the air in
from over there,
1092
01:01:39,697 --> 01:01:42,831
just bringing the smoke inside.
1093
01:01:42,933 --> 01:01:45,534
I'm gonna end up
asphyxiating myself tonight.
1094
01:01:45,636 --> 01:01:48,470
- Something has been here.
1095
01:01:48,572 --> 01:01:49,571
It tore up my fire pit.
1096
01:01:49,673 --> 01:01:50,739
[bear growling]
hey, bear.
1097
01:01:50,841 --> 01:01:53,542
- Let's read
my personal rules list.
1098
01:01:53,644 --> 01:01:56,011
Don't push the tap button.
1099
01:01:57,281 --> 01:02:00,015
♪ ♪