1 00:00:14,965 --> 00:00:17,896 Washing my clothes. I'm just gonna boil them. 2 00:00:20,344 --> 00:00:21,344 Ah! 3 00:00:21,344 --> 00:00:22,965 ! Ow. 4 00:00:22,965 --> 00:00:26,724 Having my hand burned, I can't shoot my bow. 5 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,448 Stupid. 6 00:00:29,448 --> 00:00:33,034 I need to get out of the temporary shelter. 7 00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:35,758 So I'm gonna push, and I think, when I'm done, 8 00:00:35,758 --> 00:00:38,344 this place is gonna be bomb-proof. 9 00:00:38,344 --> 00:00:40,482 Gotta be careful standing up so quick. 10 00:00:40,482 --> 00:00:42,482 It's easy to forget how much I haven't eaten. 11 00:00:42,482 --> 00:00:45,482 The biggest game here is down! 12 00:00:45,482 --> 00:00:47,517 I've butchered plenty of large animals 13 00:00:47,517 --> 00:00:50,275 that I know how much work this is gonna be. 14 00:00:51,724 --> 00:00:54,448 I'm gonna burn up a lot of energy doing this. 15 00:00:54,448 --> 00:00:55,724 Yeah. 16 00:00:55,724 --> 00:00:58,172 Boom. 17 00:00:58,172 --> 00:00:59,310 Got him. 18 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,724 I strongly believe that 19 00:01:00,724 --> 00:01:02,482 when nature throws you a tidal wave, 20 00:01:02,482 --> 00:01:06,241 you build a bushcraft surfboard and ride it out. 21 00:01:06,241 --> 00:01:07,310 Yeah! 22 00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:09,034 I'm officially tapping out. 23 00:01:10,931 --> 00:01:14,034 I just couldn't deal with the social isolation. 24 00:01:20,655 --> 00:01:23,275 I'm not tapping out. 25 00:01:23,275 --> 00:01:24,896 I'd rather die. 26 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:31,896 Here goes nothing. 27 00:01:31,896 --> 00:01:32,965 Whoa! 28 00:01:32,965 --> 00:01:34,482 Yes! 29 00:01:34,482 --> 00:01:35,482 Holy [bleep]. 30 00:01:38,344 --> 00:01:40,413 This is the harshest location possible. 31 00:01:40,413 --> 00:01:42,965 We're 125 miles in the Arctic Circle. 32 00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:45,379 Never had an environment 33 00:01:45,379 --> 00:01:46,482 make me feel like a complete amateur before. 34 00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:48,448 Everything is against us out here. 35 00:01:48,448 --> 00:01:51,413 Mother Nature went and bitch-slapped me. 36 00:01:51,413 --> 00:01:53,724 Looks like I got grizzlies and wolves as my neighbors. 37 00:01:53,724 --> 00:01:55,000 Holy crap. 38 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,310 They're just hunting the shoreline. 39 00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:58,275 Mother Nature is about to dim the lights on us. 40 00:01:58,275 --> 00:01:59,482 We're heading into total darkness. 41 00:01:59,482 --> 00:02:01,310 - Hey, bear. 42 00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:05,103 The cold and the dark is going to sap people's souls. 43 00:02:05,103 --> 00:02:06,896 Really makes you wonder if it's worth it. 44 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,172 There is no camera crew. 45 00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:10,482 There's no support system. 46 00:02:10,482 --> 00:02:12,172 I'm completely alone. 47 00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:13,206 Yes! 48 00:02:13,206 --> 00:02:14,413 People go in one way... 49 00:02:14,413 --> 00:02:15,931 Stop bleeding. 50 00:02:15,931 --> 00:02:17,620 And they come out entirely different. 51 00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:19,827 This is the most difficult 52 00:02:19,827 --> 00:02:20,862 survival challenge in the world. 53 00:02:21,862 --> 00:02:23,206 $500,000. 54 00:02:23,206 --> 00:02:25,000 That's completely life-changing money. 55 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,206 It's beautiful. 56 00:02:26,206 --> 00:02:27,551 Whoever can thrive the longest. 57 00:02:27,551 --> 00:02:29,517 If they out here, they ought to be afraid of me. 58 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,172 - Whoever can push through... 59 00:02:31,172 --> 00:02:32,655 Wins. 60 00:02:32,655 --> 00:02:34,137 I hope I made the right choice coming out here. 61 00:03:00,482 --> 00:03:02,275 I can package the smoked meat, 62 00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:04,241 get it in my food cache. 63 00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:07,689 That's a lot of meat. 64 00:03:13,103 --> 00:03:18,586 So I decided to boil some spruce and shave. 65 00:03:20,655 --> 00:03:24,620 See how this works, shaving with an arrowhead. 66 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,655 Think that's about as good as I'm gonna get it. 67 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,758 Oh, well. 68 00:03:49,758 --> 00:03:53,310 I need to start moving around because I'm getting cold. 69 00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:56,137 But I really want to construct the bed in my shelter. 70 00:03:57,344 --> 00:04:02,482 That's all I'm gonna do today, as far as work goes. 71 00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:04,034 My energy level is zero. 72 00:04:08,275 --> 00:04:12,000 My winter supply of meat is done. 73 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,965 My moose meat is smoked and it's in a cache. 74 00:04:14,965 --> 00:04:17,172 It's very secure. 75 00:04:17,172 --> 00:04:19,413 Now I can start moving into my shelter. 76 00:04:21,137 --> 00:04:23,172 OK. 77 00:04:23,172 --> 00:04:25,827 I'm gonna go about making a bed. 78 00:04:25,827 --> 00:04:29,034 I'm gonna make a wood frame and then a bough bed on top of it. 79 00:04:30,448 --> 00:04:34,482 My strategy starting now is to do the bare minimum, 80 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:37,689 as little as possible physically. 81 00:04:37,689 --> 00:04:39,827 My shelter smells like smoked meat big time. 82 00:04:39,827 --> 00:04:41,931 That's not gonna bother me at all. 83 00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:45,310 And eat as much as I can, 84 00:04:45,310 --> 00:04:49,931 try to build some longevity into my physique. 85 00:04:51,827 --> 00:04:55,482 I have to raise up the bed off the ground for maximum warmth. 86 00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:02,241 I'm really tired, and I shouldn't be. 87 00:05:02,241 --> 00:05:04,724 My strategy always was to work really hard 88 00:05:04,724 --> 00:05:08,241 for the first couple or three weeks to get things set, 89 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:11,103 and then do a strategy shift. 90 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:15,896 But the moose complicated it so much that 91 00:05:15,896 --> 00:05:19,344 it might have been just overdoing it. 92 00:05:19,344 --> 00:05:20,586 That might be good. 93 00:05:22,413 --> 00:05:25,034 The way I've gone about these last three weeks 94 00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:27,620 will drive me out of this competition soon 95 00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:30,206 if I keep doing it that way. 96 00:05:30,206 --> 00:05:33,517 I'm having a rough time, just physically today, 97 00:05:33,517 --> 00:05:36,241 a very rough time. 98 00:05:36,241 --> 00:05:38,793 So that might be one of the life lessons 99 00:05:38,793 --> 00:05:41,896 I have to learn while being here. 100 00:05:45,241 --> 00:05:47,586 I got--I got just a start 101 00:05:47,586 --> 00:05:49,482 on making the bed in there. 102 00:05:51,827 --> 00:05:54,931 This is sad. 103 00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:58,000 I've never been this inept unless I was totally sick. 104 00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:03,448 I really gassed myself during the first three-- 105 00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:04,758 three weeks here. 106 00:06:04,758 --> 00:06:08,206 So I'm paying for it. 107 00:06:08,206 --> 00:06:10,103 I got to recoup. 108 00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:23,310 Well, I have decided that I must be getting sick, 109 00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:24,896 coming down with something. 110 00:06:24,896 --> 00:06:30,551 It's the only explanation for how I'm feeling today. 111 00:06:30,551 --> 00:06:34,137 I've started to sweat and then get cold 112 00:06:34,137 --> 00:06:37,586 and then sweat and then get cold. 113 00:06:37,586 --> 00:06:39,448 I'm worried about it. 114 00:06:41,586 --> 00:06:45,103 Hot, cold, chills, sweat. 115 00:06:49,068 --> 00:06:51,862 Not a great day. 116 00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:55,275 The moose could easily and ironically be 117 00:06:55,275 --> 00:06:58,896 the thing that would take me down. 118 00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:00,827 Sweating again. 119 00:07:03,206 --> 00:07:06,206 I've got to get through whatever this is. 120 00:07:25,965 --> 00:07:27,344 Place your bids. Here we go. 121 00:07:27,344 --> 00:07:29,137 Anybody got a giddy up, go. 122 00:07:29,137 --> 00:07:31,931 Antique log going, starting the bidding at 10 bucks. 123 00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:33,344 Here we go. Anybody gonna go 10 now? 124 00:07:33,344 --> 00:07:35,172 Here we go, 15. 125 00:07:35,172 --> 00:07:39,000 Anybody want to go 25 here, anybody go 25 bucks. 126 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,827 There is no log on the face of the Earth 127 00:07:41,827 --> 00:07:44,965 with the same grains and beauty as this sumbitch. 128 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,586 Now, come on. Anybody gonna go 40? 129 00:07:46,586 --> 00:07:49,586 40 bucks. Can we get a 41? 130 00:07:49,586 --> 00:07:52,000 Sold! 131 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:57,655 Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together... 132 00:07:57,655 --> 00:08:00,482 for the young lady in the back 133 00:08:00,482 --> 00:08:03,413 who bought this amazing piece of lumber 134 00:08:03,413 --> 00:08:07,413 for $42. 135 00:08:07,413 --> 00:08:09,379 Sold. 136 00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:15,275 All right, that's enough fun, Dub. 137 00:08:15,275 --> 00:08:17,655 No fun allowed here in the Arctic. 138 00:08:17,655 --> 00:08:20,206 It's all work, bro. 139 00:08:25,448 --> 00:08:28,758 It's darn cold out today 140 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:34,275 on a pre-winter day in the Arctic Circle. 141 00:08:34,275 --> 00:08:39,724 Food and firewood are the two things 142 00:08:39,724 --> 00:08:43,551 that are gonna be hard to come by in about a month. 143 00:08:43,551 --> 00:08:45,931 All right. Let's go check the gill net. 144 00:08:45,931 --> 00:08:50,068 What scares the hell out of me more than anything 145 00:08:50,068 --> 00:08:53,862 is that period of a couple weeks 146 00:08:53,862 --> 00:08:57,448 before I can walk on the ice on this river. 147 00:08:57,448 --> 00:09:02,551 If that happens, and I don't have food stored for that-- 148 00:09:02,551 --> 00:09:04,482 I can't ice fish. 149 00:09:04,482 --> 00:09:09,137 I can't fish this open water and I can't ice fish. 150 00:09:09,137 --> 00:09:11,310 So that'll be two weeks. 151 00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:15,275 Two weeks of me not eating is a tap-out. 152 00:09:15,275 --> 00:09:18,620 I'm too skinny, so I can't-- 153 00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:21,068 that can't happen. 154 00:09:21,068 --> 00:09:23,206 That could happen to just about anybody else 155 00:09:23,206 --> 00:09:26,241 in this competition, but that cannot happen to me. 156 00:09:28,275 --> 00:09:30,448 Gill net. 157 00:09:30,448 --> 00:09:32,724 Drumroll, please. 158 00:09:36,241 --> 00:09:41,275 A bunch of-- a bunch of garbage in there. 159 00:09:41,275 --> 00:09:43,689 There's no fish in here. 160 00:09:43,689 --> 00:09:45,586 Nothing in the gill net. 161 00:09:47,103 --> 00:09:49,310 Must fish. 162 00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:52,103 I must fish at all costs. 163 00:09:52,103 --> 00:09:54,000 And I must do it almost every day. 164 00:09:59,172 --> 00:10:04,620 I really would much rather be hunting right now. 165 00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:07,655 But... 166 00:10:07,655 --> 00:10:12,137 I also know... 167 00:10:12,137 --> 00:10:16,896 this is a smart thing to be doing right now with my time 168 00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:19,275 that's not burning calories. 169 00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:23,137 I think something's hitting this one. 170 00:10:26,344 --> 00:10:27,793 I don't know if I should wait for it to spring 171 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,551 or just grab it. 172 00:10:29,551 --> 00:10:31,724 I'm just gonna spring it by hand. 173 00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:38,793 Holy crap, that's big. 174 00:10:38,793 --> 00:10:40,206 Stay on there. 175 00:10:45,586 --> 00:10:48,931 My club is right here in front of my feet. 176 00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:51,655 So gentle. 177 00:10:51,655 --> 00:10:53,379 No sudden movements. 178 00:10:59,103 --> 00:11:01,000 Wow. 179 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,586 Freaking wow. 180 00:11:08,482 --> 00:11:10,827 Yes! 181 00:11:22,896 --> 00:11:23,965 How's that-- 182 00:11:25,655 --> 00:11:26,827 . 183 00:11:49,034 --> 00:11:53,000 When you have a fish caught, in your hands... 184 00:11:55,862 --> 00:11:57,344 And to have it suddenly get away, 185 00:11:57,344 --> 00:11:59,896 it's like a-- 186 00:11:59,896 --> 00:12:03,758 it's a heart-wrenching thing. 187 00:12:07,758 --> 00:12:09,413 It's like you work so hard. 188 00:12:09,413 --> 00:12:12,000 Every freaking calorie, when it comes down to it, 189 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,655 every calorie on every one of these fish 190 00:12:14,655 --> 00:12:17,172 means something to me. 191 00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:22,482 And literally losing a fish in a split second 192 00:12:22,482 --> 00:12:24,931 from a bad decision is taking away 193 00:12:24,931 --> 00:12:28,241 my time of being here for longer. 194 00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:30,034 Everything's OK. 195 00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,827 Everything's OK. 196 00:12:33,827 --> 00:12:36,137 It's only-- 197 00:12:38,344 --> 00:12:43,344 It's only five days of food and $500,000, dude. 198 00:12:43,344 --> 00:12:45,137 That's all. 199 00:12:49,655 --> 00:12:52,655 Never let that happen again, 200 00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:55,275 and we can recover from that. 201 00:12:57,862 --> 00:13:01,517 Besides looking like an absolute idiot on television, 202 00:13:01,517 --> 00:13:03,724 we can recover from that. 203 00:13:05,103 --> 00:13:07,586 That was a damn nice fish, 204 00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,551 days and days and days of food. 205 00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:15,000 I think I might just have to be satisfied 206 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,655 with my hard lesson today. 207 00:13:22,103 --> 00:13:24,137 Stupid lesson. 208 00:13:34,931 --> 00:13:37,241 This is my pipe I'm making. 209 00:13:40,896 --> 00:13:43,448 It's gonna be like a little hobbit pipe. 210 00:13:47,551 --> 00:13:49,965 We are going to fire that pipe. 211 00:13:53,206 --> 00:13:58,586 So you can see my pipe down in there. 212 00:13:58,586 --> 00:14:00,275 Essentially, what you're doing is 213 00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:03,689 welding the clay into a ceramic. 214 00:14:06,517 --> 00:14:09,137 Picked some kinnikinnick. 215 00:14:15,379 --> 00:14:17,517 What do you think of that? 216 00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:29,344 There we go. 217 00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:36,655 Well, it certainly isn't tobacco. 218 00:14:39,724 --> 00:14:41,827 It's got kind of a peppery flavor to it. 219 00:14:41,827 --> 00:14:43,896 It's not bad. 220 00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:46,965 All right. 221 00:14:46,965 --> 00:14:49,793 We're gonna go work on the shelter. 222 00:14:52,344 --> 00:14:56,172 This has been the single most challenging thing 223 00:14:56,172 --> 00:14:58,034 since I've been out here, 224 00:14:58,034 --> 00:15:00,793 selecting a place to build a permanent shelter 225 00:15:00,793 --> 00:15:03,034 and what kind of shelter to build. 226 00:15:04,758 --> 00:15:06,724 And because I'm getting right down to the wire, 227 00:15:06,724 --> 00:15:09,827 I think the most efficient, quickest thing that I could do 228 00:15:09,827 --> 00:15:11,931 is a wickiup. 229 00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:14,793 So then it became finding a place where I could find 230 00:15:14,793 --> 00:15:18,551 enough small trees to make a wickiup. 231 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:22,758 I walked up and down this whole river. 232 00:15:22,758 --> 00:15:24,793 And the only place on this side of the river 233 00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:27,448 that I found that was suitable to do it was right behind me 234 00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,517 in the one place I didn't look. 235 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:35,413 I just want to get rid of as much bark as possible. 236 00:15:35,413 --> 00:15:38,379 Then it won't be so liable to catch on fire on me 237 00:15:38,379 --> 00:15:40,413 in the middle of the night. 238 00:15:44,482 --> 00:15:46,275 The thing about a wickiup is, 239 00:15:46,275 --> 00:15:48,896 it provides a lot of really good insulation 240 00:15:48,896 --> 00:15:53,103 by slowing down the air from the outside. 241 00:15:53,103 --> 00:15:57,172 If I can settle in here and become comfortable, 242 00:15:57,172 --> 00:16:00,344 I'll be able to stay here for a very long time. 243 00:16:02,206 --> 00:16:03,827 All right. 244 00:16:03,827 --> 00:16:05,620 Done with that for now. 245 00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:09,000 Think I'll get my tarp on there 246 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,413 and then try and catch a fish. 247 00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:18,620 If I don't catch anything in the net, 248 00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:21,103 I will fish with my line. 249 00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:24,103 I can see the net, 250 00:16:24,103 --> 00:16:26,551 but I don't see any fish. 251 00:16:26,551 --> 00:16:29,965 I made a handline from the leftover strands 252 00:16:29,965 --> 00:16:33,206 of paracord core from making my net. 253 00:16:33,206 --> 00:16:36,000 I haven't had much success with it, 254 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,068 but I'll give it a try. 255 00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:42,103 So here is a chunk of pike meat, 256 00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:45,793 and this is the leader 257 00:16:45,793 --> 00:16:48,172 that I made from my bootlace. 258 00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:52,206 Pike have a mouth full of razor blades, 259 00:16:52,206 --> 00:16:56,724 and something that I'm very limited on is hooks. 260 00:16:56,724 --> 00:17:00,965 Inside the core of my winter bootlaces 261 00:17:00,965 --> 00:17:03,758 is a material that's really strong. 262 00:17:03,758 --> 00:17:06,172 They make bulletproof vests out of it. 263 00:17:06,172 --> 00:17:11,862 So I'm hoping this leader will be safe from pike teeth. 264 00:17:11,862 --> 00:17:14,034 That way, I don't lose my hooks. 265 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,896 I brought a big treble hook this time. 266 00:17:15,896 --> 00:17:17,724 We'll see how that works. 267 00:17:17,724 --> 00:17:23,137 I was gonna save this for lures but changed my mind. 268 00:17:23,137 --> 00:17:26,172 I need to catch a lot of fish 269 00:17:26,172 --> 00:17:28,862 before the river starts to freeze. 270 00:17:51,586 --> 00:17:55,413 I want to try it just a little further out than that. 271 00:18:02,517 --> 00:18:04,000 There's a fish. 272 00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:07,758 Come on. 273 00:18:07,758 --> 00:18:10,068 Oh, no! 274 00:18:10,068 --> 00:18:12,965 No! [bleep]! 275 00:18:18,655 --> 00:18:20,620 My main line snapped. 276 00:18:22,241 --> 00:18:24,344 There it goes. 277 00:18:24,344 --> 00:18:27,137 ! 278 00:18:27,137 --> 00:18:30,689 How am I gonna get that back? 279 00:18:30,689 --> 00:18:32,241 I'm gonna have to go swimming. 280 00:18:33,965 --> 00:18:37,000 I can't lose my leader. 281 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,137 I won't accept that. 282 00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:42,448 Soon as I get that back, we're going from here to the camp. 283 00:18:56,965 --> 00:18:58,241 . 284 00:19:04,172 --> 00:19:05,793 Oh, [bleep]. 285 00:19:17,793 --> 00:19:19,172 Oh, it's cold. 286 00:19:21,275 --> 00:19:23,206 Tailbone felt that one. 287 00:19:26,827 --> 00:19:28,827 Oh, what an adventure. 288 00:19:31,068 --> 00:19:35,448 OK, I do not recommend doing that. 289 00:19:38,965 --> 00:19:44,275 I probably should go back to the fire, get warmed up. 290 00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:01,517 Well, I'm in my-- 291 00:20:01,517 --> 00:20:03,172 my permanent shelter. 292 00:20:03,172 --> 00:20:06,689 It's not done yet, but it's getting there. 293 00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:11,344 I'm in an extreme amount of pain in my tailbone 294 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,517 and in my abdomen. 295 00:20:16,413 --> 00:20:23,034 So I have debated, um... 296 00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:32,206 Talking about this because... 297 00:20:32,206 --> 00:20:34,172 it's kind of embarrassing. 298 00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:41,241 I've had probably 30 pounds of food. 299 00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:45,620 And in 12 days, I haven't had a single BM. 300 00:20:50,551 --> 00:20:53,448 I wish that I had killed that beaver early on 301 00:20:53,448 --> 00:20:56,275 because that may have kept 302 00:20:56,275 --> 00:21:00,103 my digestive system working regularly. 303 00:21:00,103 --> 00:21:06,827 I've been eating as much roughage as I possibly can. 304 00:21:06,827 --> 00:21:09,758 I just don't know what else I can do about it. 305 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:15,862 Since my divorce, my kids have watched me struggle. 306 00:21:15,862 --> 00:21:18,896 But I think it's important for them to be able 307 00:21:18,896 --> 00:21:22,862 to see me outside of our family circle 308 00:21:22,862 --> 00:21:24,724 and see what I'm capable of doing. 309 00:21:26,517 --> 00:21:28,103 When you step into nature, 310 00:21:28,103 --> 00:21:30,931 everything else is stripped away 311 00:21:30,931 --> 00:21:33,000 and you are a vulnerable animal 312 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,965 that is bumping along, clumsily. 313 00:21:38,827 --> 00:21:41,793 But there is no situation that I would be in 314 00:21:41,793 --> 00:21:43,413 that would make me tap. 315 00:21:43,413 --> 00:21:46,482 I made a commitment to finish this. 316 00:21:46,482 --> 00:21:48,827 I would rather die than quit. 317 00:21:48,827 --> 00:21:51,103 I feel like if I eat any more green stuff, 318 00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:55,172 I'm gonna make it worse. 319 00:21:55,172 --> 00:21:57,034 So I'm just keeping myself hydrated 320 00:21:57,034 --> 00:22:01,724 and hoping things work themselves through. 321 00:22:17,965 --> 00:22:20,241 I got to see what it is. 322 00:22:20,241 --> 00:22:23,000 Oh, yeah! We got breakfast. 323 00:22:25,793 --> 00:22:27,241 Yeah! 324 00:22:31,655 --> 00:22:33,137 Yeah! 325 00:22:49,275 --> 00:22:50,586 Hot. 326 00:23:00,206 --> 00:23:02,172 I know that there's some Indigenous groups 327 00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:03,448 that eat a lot of bark. 328 00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:05,724 And right now, I'm on a fish diet, 329 00:23:05,724 --> 00:23:07,310 so I'm getting mostly protein. 330 00:23:07,310 --> 00:23:09,275 And I want to get some sugars and carbs in my body. 331 00:23:09,275 --> 00:23:11,275 I think it'll be a more well-balanced diet. 332 00:23:12,620 --> 00:23:14,827 Puts, you know, food in your stomach. 333 00:23:30,172 --> 00:23:32,793 OK, so I'm gonna muck 'er down 334 00:23:32,793 --> 00:23:35,689 and go look for some berries. 335 00:23:38,689 --> 00:23:40,241 Look at that. 336 00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:51,517 This here. 337 00:23:57,482 --> 00:23:59,793 Getting juicier all the time. 338 00:24:45,448 --> 00:24:48,482 Got to try to figure something out. 339 00:24:48,482 --> 00:24:51,344 Sassy little bugger, anyway. 340 00:25:29,344 --> 00:25:30,586 . 341 00:25:36,275 --> 00:25:37,448 . 342 00:25:37,448 --> 00:25:40,103 You know, not good when you got something 343 00:25:40,103 --> 00:25:42,379 stealing your food all the time. 344 00:26:03,965 --> 00:26:05,655 Well. 345 00:26:16,206 --> 00:26:17,862 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 346 00:26:26,241 --> 00:26:28,000 Yeah. 347 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,586 I may go for a little fish here this evening, 348 00:26:30,586 --> 00:26:33,068 so try to secure something for tomorrow. 349 00:26:33,068 --> 00:26:35,482 So food is starting to become a pretty good priority. 350 00:26:40,758 --> 00:26:43,413 The critters here are very aggressive. 351 00:26:43,413 --> 00:26:46,517 Food stored is not safe anywhere. 352 00:26:46,517 --> 00:26:49,000 I got jays, the most aggressive little jays 353 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,172 I ever seen. 354 00:26:50,172 --> 00:26:52,689 We got minks here. We got martens. 355 00:26:52,689 --> 00:26:55,000 They're constantly stealing food from me. 356 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,448 And it's a real concern. 357 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,586 It's actually the biggest threat I got right now. 358 00:26:58,586 --> 00:27:01,103 It's one thing to catch food, but then you got to be working 359 00:27:01,103 --> 00:27:03,344 to keep the critters from stealing. 360 00:27:03,344 --> 00:27:06,586 I can see it's gonna be a real challenge going forward. 361 00:27:06,586 --> 00:27:08,620 I'm gonna have to come up with some other ideas 362 00:27:08,620 --> 00:27:11,000 to try to figure out how to keep the animals 363 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,448 from getting at my food. 364 00:27:20,068 --> 00:27:21,620 Yeah! 365 00:27:26,724 --> 00:27:28,655 Is that a pike or something else? 366 00:27:37,413 --> 00:27:41,896 Is that a salmon? No, it's--or a whitefish? 367 00:27:41,896 --> 00:27:45,206 Oh, so the whitefish is here. 368 00:27:45,206 --> 00:27:49,448 Oh, just gotta be careful. Just be careful, Willie. 369 00:27:49,448 --> 00:27:52,758 Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. 370 00:27:54,379 --> 00:27:55,827 Mm-mm. 371 00:27:55,827 --> 00:27:57,586 Whitefish is on the run. I should put-- 372 00:27:57,586 --> 00:27:59,482 be very careful. 373 00:27:59,482 --> 00:28:02,310 Very careful. Extra very careful. 374 00:28:02,310 --> 00:28:03,793 There, right there, almost. 375 00:28:06,172 --> 00:28:09,172 Oh, look at that! Got a whitefish. 376 00:28:09,172 --> 00:28:12,344 Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoh. 377 00:28:12,344 --> 00:28:14,379 Oh, how things turn around. 378 00:28:15,413 --> 00:28:18,689 Super happy, super happy, super happy. 379 00:28:18,689 --> 00:28:21,206 This is gonna be a well-protected fish. 380 00:28:33,862 --> 00:28:35,689 Look at that. 381 00:28:35,689 --> 00:28:38,551 Oh, my. 382 00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:41,206 ♪ Whitefish on the menu 383 00:28:41,206 --> 00:28:43,586 Oh, what a pleasant surprise that whitefish was. 384 00:28:43,586 --> 00:28:45,034 The timing was just perfect. 385 00:28:45,034 --> 00:28:46,793 I've been needing something like that because 386 00:28:46,793 --> 00:28:50,000 had a lot of food, critters cleaned me out. 387 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,965 Then I was starting to get a little short on food. 388 00:28:51,965 --> 00:28:54,241 But that's a nice little pick-me-up. 389 00:28:54,241 --> 00:28:55,965 Tear that off. 390 00:29:08,965 --> 00:29:11,724 Like that. 391 00:29:11,724 --> 00:29:13,724 Now what I'm gonna do-- 392 00:29:13,724 --> 00:29:17,931 now, this is my-- this was my clay carrier. 393 00:29:17,931 --> 00:29:20,620 It's gonna go in there now. 394 00:29:20,620 --> 00:29:26,103 And this is gonna be tied over and hung up like that. 395 00:29:29,517 --> 00:29:32,000 Now that goes up here, and you tie it over tight. 396 00:29:39,103 --> 00:29:40,724 Well, I'll tell you, things can turn around 397 00:29:40,724 --> 00:29:42,103 kind of fast out here. 398 00:29:42,103 --> 00:29:44,241 Not putting in that hidey-hole. 399 00:29:44,241 --> 00:29:48,379 No, don't trust that spot now either. 400 00:30:54,103 --> 00:30:56,517 That's great. 401 00:30:56,517 --> 00:31:02,000 I got a message that they're doing med check sometime today. 402 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,310 So we'll see what they say. 403 00:31:09,793 --> 00:31:12,379 I got up a while ago, 404 00:31:12,379 --> 00:31:15,724 and the pain in my abdomen is strong enough 405 00:31:15,724 --> 00:31:18,931 to make me stop doing what I was doing. 406 00:31:20,827 --> 00:31:23,000 I'm not complaining. 407 00:31:26,310 --> 00:31:28,310 Just dealing with it. 408 00:31:31,344 --> 00:31:35,724 But I said from the beginning, and I'm gonna keep saying it, 409 00:31:35,724 --> 00:31:37,793 I'm not tapping out. 410 00:31:40,965 --> 00:31:43,620 So we'll just see what happens. 411 00:31:46,482 --> 00:31:50,379 Got a med check, so that should be fun. 412 00:31:53,034 --> 00:31:54,655 I hear the boat coming. 413 00:31:56,241 --> 00:31:57,655 I'm kind of nervous. 414 00:31:57,655 --> 00:32:00,551 How thorough is the med check? 415 00:32:00,551 --> 00:32:02,586 I don't know. 416 00:32:02,586 --> 00:32:06,620 I don't know what the outcome of this med check's gonna be. 417 00:32:06,620 --> 00:32:09,034 You always hope for the best, but plan for the worst. 418 00:32:10,586 --> 00:32:13,379 Gonna me change my pants, be respectable for the doctor. 419 00:32:15,344 --> 00:32:18,448 My stomach is feeling really lean, scary-- 420 00:32:18,448 --> 00:32:20,862 it's scary how lean it feels. 421 00:32:20,862 --> 00:32:23,482 I'm actually worried about this med check. 422 00:32:23,482 --> 00:32:26,620 I've thought about whether or not I should just 423 00:32:26,620 --> 00:32:30,413 grit my teeth and fake it through this check. 424 00:32:30,413 --> 00:32:34,103 But I've decided to not do that. 425 00:32:44,482 --> 00:32:47,413 Bring the shirt kind of up to the bone here, the navel. 426 00:32:49,689 --> 00:32:51,448 There any chest pain? - No. 427 00:32:51,448 --> 00:32:53,000 Difficulty breathing? 428 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,620 Um, no. I've been out of breath from-- 429 00:32:55,620 --> 00:32:57,206 from work, you know, of course. 430 00:32:57,206 --> 00:32:58,344 Some of these logs are pretty big. 431 00:32:58,344 --> 00:33:00,034 But no difficulty breathing. 432 00:33:00,034 --> 00:33:01,517 I am trying to catch my breath... 433 00:33:01,517 --> 00:33:02,896 - OK. - Uh, constantly. 434 00:33:02,896 --> 00:33:04,517 - Constantly? - Yeah. 435 00:33:04,517 --> 00:33:06,344 - Any headaches? - No. 436 00:33:06,344 --> 00:33:07,586 - Vision changes? - No. 437 00:33:07,586 --> 00:33:08,758 Any chest pain? 438 00:33:08,758 --> 00:33:09,758 - No. - No? 439 00:33:09,758 --> 00:33:10,965 Sometimes it throbs. 440 00:33:10,965 --> 00:33:13,482 Sometimes it feels like a-- 441 00:33:13,482 --> 00:33:14,724 like a dull knife. 442 00:33:14,724 --> 00:33:16,379 - No belly pain? - Mm-mm. 443 00:33:16,379 --> 00:33:17,586 Bowels been good? 444 00:33:17,586 --> 00:33:20,827 There was one day that I had some stomach pain, 445 00:33:20,827 --> 00:33:23,586 and I think-- I don't know what was going on. 446 00:33:23,586 --> 00:33:26,068 And maybe I hadn't used the restroom in, like, five days. 447 00:33:26,068 --> 00:33:28,034 And so there was one day that I had a little pain there, 448 00:33:28,034 --> 00:33:29,275 but it wasn't serious. 449 00:33:29,275 --> 00:33:31,379 I haven't had a bowel movement in-- 450 00:33:31,379 --> 00:33:34,068 it's either 14 or 15 days. 451 00:33:34,068 --> 00:33:37,931 And that has become extremely painful. 452 00:33:37,931 --> 00:33:40,310 How often are you having these pains? 453 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:41,586 Constantly. 454 00:33:41,586 --> 00:33:44,724 It's more pronounced when I do anything. 455 00:33:44,724 --> 00:33:46,275 It does worry me a bit. 456 00:33:46,275 --> 00:33:49,689 I don't want to have a heart attack at 35. 457 00:33:49,689 --> 00:33:51,965 - Any pain there? - No. 458 00:33:53,586 --> 00:33:56,413 - That's OK? - Oh, all good, yeah. 459 00:33:56,413 --> 00:33:58,000 - OK, that's sore. - That's sore there. 460 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,724 - OK. - Yeah, that's sore. 461 00:34:06,103 --> 00:34:09,137 Yeah? So the deeper-- the deeper I go, the more-- 462 00:34:09,137 --> 00:34:10,862 - Oh, yeah, way more. - OK. 463 00:34:10,862 --> 00:34:12,551 Like, j-- 464 00:34:12,551 --> 00:34:14,931 Yeah, just taking that off was... 465 00:34:14,931 --> 00:34:16,517 making it pretty hard to breathe. 466 00:34:27,655 --> 00:34:30,000 At this point, I don't think it's medically safe 467 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,448 for him to be in the field. 468 00:34:39,724 --> 00:34:41,862 Given Dr. Gary's concerns... 469 00:34:44,896 --> 00:34:49,655 We need to officially extract you for medical reasons. 470 00:34:53,137 --> 00:34:55,275 My largest concern is, 471 00:34:55,275 --> 00:34:58,931 you're showing signs now of a bowel obstruction. 472 00:34:58,931 --> 00:35:00,586 My concern with a bowel obstruction is, 473 00:35:00,586 --> 00:35:02,448 that's something that can evolve 474 00:35:02,448 --> 00:35:05,413 into a perforation or an infection 475 00:35:05,413 --> 00:35:07,344 throughout the body called sepsis. 476 00:35:07,344 --> 00:35:10,275 These are very serious diagnoses. 477 00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:13,482 And it's no longer safe for you to continue. 478 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,965 Any chance we could just, like, give it a few more days? 479 00:35:19,965 --> 00:35:22,103 Four days or something? 480 00:35:22,103 --> 00:35:24,689 It's a pretty serious risk 481 00:35:24,689 --> 00:35:27,034 that you're putting yourself in day by day, 482 00:35:27,034 --> 00:35:28,344 living out here. 483 00:35:28,344 --> 00:35:30,793 It is not safe to continue. 484 00:35:44,068 --> 00:35:48,482 My brother, uh... 485 00:35:48,482 --> 00:35:51,862 had an obstruction. 486 00:35:51,862 --> 00:35:57,551 They had to take out about 7 feet of his intestines. 487 00:36:04,551 --> 00:36:06,827 So I understand. 488 00:36:13,241 --> 00:36:16,862 I think that it's probably the right call. 489 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,689 I just don't want it to be, you know? 490 00:36:25,965 --> 00:36:29,137 That's all I've got to say, I guess. 491 00:36:35,206 --> 00:36:38,379 I feel like I had my hand extended, 492 00:36:38,379 --> 00:36:43,793 reaching at this goal that I wanted so badly. 493 00:36:43,793 --> 00:36:48,068 And then the goal stretches out beyond my reach, 494 00:36:48,068 --> 00:36:51,896 and all I grab onto is empty air. 495 00:36:51,896 --> 00:36:55,275 But what I'm realizing about this experience 496 00:36:55,275 --> 00:36:59,275 is that it's OK that I didn't win the prize 497 00:36:59,275 --> 00:37:03,379 because what I gained is wisdom. 498 00:37:03,379 --> 00:37:06,413 When you're faced with a challenge like this, 499 00:37:06,413 --> 00:37:09,275 it tests your character. 500 00:37:09,275 --> 00:37:13,620 I came to know myself better. 501 00:37:13,620 --> 00:37:20,000 And I'm going to keep this state of vulnerability, 502 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,310 because I think if I do, 503 00:37:22,310 --> 00:37:28,275 I can be more helpful to my family, my children. 504 00:37:28,275 --> 00:37:33,275 My kids will see a passionate and happy Jake. 505 00:37:33,275 --> 00:37:37,310 I'm going to be a better version of myself, 506 00:37:37,310 --> 00:37:43,034 full authenticity, but with purpose. 507 00:37:43,034 --> 00:37:46,586 And I'm going to finish that journey on my own terms. 508 00:38:04,172 --> 00:38:07,896 Gonna use some of the ptarmigan bones for bait. 509 00:38:12,206 --> 00:38:15,310 There we go, six baited hooks. 510 00:38:24,965 --> 00:38:28,068 You mother[bleep]. I hate you. 511 00:38:28,068 --> 00:38:30,655 You are a robbing little bastard. 512 00:38:36,103 --> 00:38:37,896 What are you trying to steal from me now? 513 00:38:37,896 --> 00:38:39,448 Huh? 514 00:38:40,793 --> 00:38:42,137 Jerk. 515 00:38:43,517 --> 00:38:45,517 Stupid Canadian jay. 516 00:38:50,310 --> 00:38:52,172 Med check is done and over with, 517 00:38:52,172 --> 00:38:54,172 and they didn't pull me because I'm dying, 518 00:38:54,172 --> 00:38:57,482 so we'll call it a success. 519 00:38:57,482 --> 00:39:00,827 So I'm going to walk over to the river 520 00:39:00,827 --> 00:39:03,586 and check my longline. 521 00:39:03,586 --> 00:39:06,482 A longline is a long rope 522 00:39:06,482 --> 00:39:09,137 that's anchored down at one end. 523 00:39:09,137 --> 00:39:12,413 And off of that rope is multiple baited hooks, 524 00:39:12,413 --> 00:39:16,344 so there's multiple chances of catching a fish. 525 00:39:18,310 --> 00:39:20,896 My body's feeling depleted. 526 00:39:20,896 --> 00:39:23,793 I am really hoping I get a protein today 527 00:39:23,793 --> 00:39:27,448 because I ate the last of the ptarmigan. 528 00:39:29,103 --> 00:39:31,586 Oh. Oh, gosh. 529 00:39:32,689 --> 00:39:35,448 OK, change in plans. 530 00:39:35,448 --> 00:39:38,448 See if I can get that bird. 531 00:39:41,172 --> 00:39:43,517 A couple days into my journey here, 532 00:39:43,517 --> 00:39:46,379 I stopped wearing my belt. 533 00:39:46,379 --> 00:39:49,862 Oh, where'd you go, pretty chicken? 534 00:39:49,862 --> 00:39:52,793 I need you so bad. 535 00:39:52,793 --> 00:39:56,344 And today I put it back on and found out that 536 00:39:56,344 --> 00:40:00,000 I lost enough weight that I'm in at least one notch. 537 00:40:03,241 --> 00:40:04,413 Where'd you go? 538 00:40:06,206 --> 00:40:08,827 I hear it. 539 00:40:08,827 --> 00:40:12,275 Oh, I see her. She's up there a ways. 540 00:40:17,482 --> 00:40:19,931 Too big or too small, doesn't matter. 541 00:40:19,931 --> 00:40:23,448 My entire life, I see my body different than it is. 542 00:40:23,448 --> 00:40:25,413 It's [bleep] up. 543 00:40:27,275 --> 00:40:31,344 Please, God, be with me and guide this arrow. 544 00:40:31,344 --> 00:40:33,172 I can really use this. 545 00:40:37,620 --> 00:40:39,724 . 546 00:40:39,724 --> 00:40:41,034 Damn it. 547 00:40:49,896 --> 00:40:52,862 Oh, please, God, let me get one of these birds. 548 00:40:57,310 --> 00:40:59,517 Oh, [bleep]. 549 00:41:00,724 --> 00:41:03,413 Un-freaking-believable. 550 00:41:03,413 --> 00:41:05,413 Even that raven's laughing at me. 551 00:41:09,931 --> 00:41:11,551 Raven, shut it! 552 00:41:15,551 --> 00:41:17,137 Not funny. 553 00:41:20,206 --> 00:41:22,413 Feel like a [bleep] dumbass. 554 00:41:24,310 --> 00:41:26,965 All right, back to my lines. 555 00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:35,068 I spent most of my adult life overweight. 556 00:41:36,931 --> 00:41:39,827 I've always had an addictive personality. 557 00:41:39,827 --> 00:41:43,551 Unfortunately, that came from my family. 558 00:41:43,551 --> 00:41:46,758 Sure hope my anchor holds on. 559 00:41:46,758 --> 00:41:49,241 Those things are hard to find. 560 00:41:49,241 --> 00:41:51,827 My mom ended up falling into alcoholism, 561 00:41:51,827 --> 00:41:55,310 and she got into Alcoholics Anonymous. 562 00:41:55,310 --> 00:41:57,965 Nothing on the first one. 563 00:41:57,965 --> 00:42:01,206 Nothing on the second one. 564 00:42:01,206 --> 00:42:03,793 And I started to see these amazing changes in her 565 00:42:03,793 --> 00:42:06,206 in a very short period of time. 566 00:42:06,206 --> 00:42:09,448 And then she came to me when I was 17 years old and said, 567 00:42:09,448 --> 00:42:12,448 "I love you, but I'm done with motherhood. 568 00:42:12,448 --> 00:42:14,793 I now have to take care of myself." 569 00:42:14,793 --> 00:42:18,206 And nothing on the third one 570 00:42:18,206 --> 00:42:21,655 or the fourth one. 571 00:42:21,655 --> 00:42:23,344 That was the day I had to grow up. 572 00:42:24,965 --> 00:42:27,275 There was just an emptiness inside of me. 573 00:42:27,275 --> 00:42:31,206 And I filled the void with alcohol and food. 574 00:42:31,206 --> 00:42:34,103 But I turned it around because I got pregnant. 575 00:42:34,103 --> 00:42:38,517 Everything still has its chunk of bone on it. 576 00:42:38,517 --> 00:42:41,172 Just not the best bait. 577 00:42:43,344 --> 00:42:46,379 Knowing how it felt to have your mother 578 00:42:46,379 --> 00:42:50,103 not mother you anymore, I wouldn't do it. 579 00:42:50,103 --> 00:42:53,413 I know I was a better mother than my mother was. 580 00:42:53,413 --> 00:42:56,000 And my daughter is an amazing mother. 581 00:42:57,620 --> 00:43:01,758 Because each one of us has our own trauma from our mothers, 582 00:43:01,758 --> 00:43:04,137 I know that every generation in my family, 583 00:43:04,137 --> 00:43:05,931 we're getting better. 584 00:43:10,137 --> 00:43:12,310 Yeah, been one of those days. 585 00:43:14,172 --> 00:43:17,517 I don't remember who told me-- 586 00:43:17,517 --> 00:43:20,655 some woman in my world-- 587 00:43:20,655 --> 00:43:22,655 about how they always hate the competitor, 588 00:43:22,655 --> 00:43:24,655 the female competitors, that cry. 589 00:43:26,517 --> 00:43:28,275 And here I am. 590 00:43:34,034 --> 00:43:37,310 My confidence is taking a hit. 591 00:43:37,310 --> 00:43:40,862 That voice inside of me that loves to tell me 592 00:43:40,862 --> 00:43:44,551 how much I suck at everything is getting louder. 593 00:43:44,551 --> 00:43:47,931 And it's looking for any weakness I have. 594 00:43:50,137 --> 00:43:51,862 All of a sudden, I'm starting to question 595 00:43:51,862 --> 00:43:54,172 my abilities again. 596 00:43:54,172 --> 00:43:57,206 Do I really have what it takes? 597 00:43:57,206 --> 00:44:01,827 I made a promise to my husband that I would tap out 598 00:44:01,827 --> 00:44:04,448 before I broke physically or mentally. 599 00:44:06,034 --> 00:44:07,896 I might be there. 600 00:44:23,931 --> 00:44:26,551 An emotional breakdown... 601 00:44:26,551 --> 00:44:28,551 On video. 602 00:44:28,551 --> 00:44:30,758 It's humiliating. 603 00:44:33,206 --> 00:44:38,965 And in my safe space at home, I'm not embarrassed to feel. 604 00:44:38,965 --> 00:44:42,862 On television? 605 00:44:42,862 --> 00:44:45,896 I'm vulnerable like every other person in this world. 606 00:44:45,896 --> 00:44:48,103 And sometimes I suck at some of the skills 607 00:44:48,103 --> 00:44:50,275 I'm supposed to have. 608 00:44:52,137 --> 00:44:54,931 Now you all know. Sometimes I just suck. 609 00:44:57,862 --> 00:44:59,931 I sometimes suck at fishing. 610 00:44:59,931 --> 00:45:02,689 And I often suck at hunting. 611 00:45:05,068 --> 00:45:09,137 But the plain and simple fact is, this is just me. 612 00:45:11,206 --> 00:45:15,896 And, you know, we all go through our lives 613 00:45:15,896 --> 00:45:18,517 projecting an image. 614 00:45:18,517 --> 00:45:21,896 And I project an image-- 615 00:45:21,896 --> 00:45:25,896 OK, I try to project an image 616 00:45:25,896 --> 00:45:27,620 of having my [bleep] together, 617 00:45:27,620 --> 00:45:31,620 of being a tough, badass woman. 618 00:45:31,620 --> 00:45:35,931 And sometimes it just doesn't work out, any of it, out here. 619 00:45:37,793 --> 00:45:41,448 And now the whole world knows. 620 00:45:41,448 --> 00:45:46,172 The publicity of this game 621 00:45:46,172 --> 00:45:50,482 was one of the scariest parts for me, because I knew. 622 00:45:50,482 --> 00:45:53,241 I knew the real me would be shown. 623 00:45:54,517 --> 00:45:56,689 I have no doubt that 624 00:45:56,689 --> 00:45:59,172 my lack of nutrition and hydration 625 00:45:59,172 --> 00:46:03,827 is affecting not only my body, but my mind. 626 00:46:03,827 --> 00:46:06,172 It's OK. 627 00:46:06,172 --> 00:46:10,413 Because there's a lot of other people in the world 628 00:46:10,413 --> 00:46:13,448 who project a great image, 629 00:46:13,448 --> 00:46:16,862 and sometimes they suck, too. 630 00:46:16,862 --> 00:46:19,793 That's being human. 631 00:46:21,206 --> 00:46:23,862 So any crazy thought that I'm having, 632 00:46:23,862 --> 00:46:26,758 I know that it's my body 633 00:46:26,758 --> 00:46:29,344 trying to convince my mind to go home. 634 00:46:30,896 --> 00:46:33,517 But I'm not breaking yet. 635 00:46:33,517 --> 00:46:37,379 I still have fight in me, so I'm not tapping out yet. 636 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,310 I'm really tired. 637 00:47:03,310 --> 00:47:05,034 I've been going pretty hard today. 638 00:47:07,620 --> 00:47:09,586 Ooh. 639 00:47:12,586 --> 00:47:14,965 It's new socks day. 640 00:47:20,241 --> 00:47:22,620 Oh, yeah. 641 00:47:22,620 --> 00:47:25,551 It's the best part of today. 642 00:47:25,551 --> 00:47:28,310 Look at 'em. They're so soft. 643 00:47:29,965 --> 00:47:32,413 Mmm. And they smell good. 644 00:47:36,275 --> 00:47:37,965 Well, I don't even know if they smell good or not. 645 00:47:37,965 --> 00:47:40,103 They just don't smell like me, so. 646 00:47:43,034 --> 00:47:48,827 But yeah, today is gonna be pretty easygoing. 647 00:47:48,827 --> 00:47:50,965 I haven't had a break since we've been here, 648 00:47:50,965 --> 00:47:53,206 so I think I'll just take it easy 649 00:47:53,206 --> 00:47:57,517 and rest and heal and just enjoy being here. 650 00:47:57,517 --> 00:48:00,068 That's the plan for today. 651 00:48:02,551 --> 00:48:06,068 I have been working nonstop on my shelter, 652 00:48:06,068 --> 00:48:09,344 burning an easy 3,000 to 4,000 calories a day 653 00:48:09,344 --> 00:48:10,793 and maybe getting an average 654 00:48:10,793 --> 00:48:13,689 of 500 calories a day in my body. 655 00:48:13,689 --> 00:48:16,206 That's not sustainable. 656 00:48:16,206 --> 00:48:18,482 I'm having some pains in my chest. 657 00:48:18,482 --> 00:48:20,103 I think I work myself too hard. 658 00:48:20,103 --> 00:48:24,896 So I need to stop feeling like I got to work all the time 659 00:48:24,896 --> 00:48:27,862 and just try to relax. 660 00:48:27,862 --> 00:48:32,482 Today... 661 00:48:32,482 --> 00:48:37,620 my church involves just being still 662 00:48:37,620 --> 00:48:40,655 and washing my underwear. 663 00:48:43,896 --> 00:48:47,206 That's my morning-- that's my morning service. 664 00:48:49,724 --> 00:48:53,896 I haven't taken this underwear off in two weeks. 665 00:48:53,896 --> 00:48:56,931 So much filth coming off of these. 666 00:48:56,931 --> 00:48:59,689 Oh, that's horrible. 667 00:48:59,689 --> 00:49:03,482 I might get a ticket for, like, polluting the water. 668 00:49:06,896 --> 00:49:08,517 Oh, man. 669 00:49:12,586 --> 00:49:15,517 All right, now I'm gonna boil some water. 670 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,379 I know I don't have enough water in me, 671 00:49:19,379 --> 00:49:23,206 so I'm starting to get a little bit of a headache. 672 00:49:27,448 --> 00:49:29,655 This here is just birch bark. 673 00:49:29,655 --> 00:49:34,172 And it works really good for... a fire starter 674 00:49:34,172 --> 00:49:38,275 because of all the oils that's inside birch. 675 00:49:38,275 --> 00:49:41,310 I only got one ferro rod. 676 00:49:41,310 --> 00:49:44,172 It has a very limited number of strikes. 677 00:49:45,551 --> 00:49:47,931 I think the same thing with the ferro rod, 678 00:49:47,931 --> 00:49:50,413 and me taking my time to make the most 679 00:49:50,413 --> 00:49:51,931 out of this fire starter, 680 00:49:51,931 --> 00:49:55,551 I think it applies a lot to our lives, 681 00:49:55,551 --> 00:49:58,586 at least mine. 682 00:49:58,586 --> 00:50:01,793 I'm sure I'm not the only one that's gone through tragedy, 683 00:50:01,793 --> 00:50:05,448 but how much time did I waste 684 00:50:05,448 --> 00:50:08,275 not taking advantage 685 00:50:08,275 --> 00:50:11,586 of when my brother was here? 686 00:50:11,586 --> 00:50:14,620 Like it's gonna last forever. 687 00:50:14,620 --> 00:50:15,931 It's not. 688 00:50:17,724 --> 00:50:19,206 People in your life 689 00:50:19,206 --> 00:50:22,586 that actually mean something to you, 690 00:50:22,586 --> 00:50:25,655 what are you doing with them today, 691 00:50:25,655 --> 00:50:27,896 tomorrow, this weekend, you know, 692 00:50:27,896 --> 00:50:29,931 to make the most of your time with them? 693 00:50:31,896 --> 00:50:33,068 There it goes. 694 00:50:34,793 --> 00:50:38,172 I'll drink some water and go for a walk. 695 00:50:38,172 --> 00:50:40,724 Being out here, I wish now that 696 00:50:40,724 --> 00:50:45,620 I'd have valued my time with them more. 697 00:50:45,620 --> 00:50:47,896 It's just like that ferro rod. 698 00:50:47,896 --> 00:50:51,655 May not be today, may not be the next few months. 699 00:50:51,655 --> 00:50:53,793 It may last you a lifetime. 700 00:50:53,793 --> 00:50:55,448 But most likely, it won't. 701 00:50:57,275 --> 00:50:59,034 There's always a job to do. 702 00:50:59,034 --> 00:51:01,413 But the thing is, there's always a job to do. 703 00:51:01,413 --> 00:51:03,172 I need to slow down. 704 00:51:03,172 --> 00:51:07,206 I need to just be present, be in the moment. 705 00:51:07,206 --> 00:51:12,068 My baby girl is only gonna be one year old for so long. 706 00:51:12,068 --> 00:51:16,379 And it's more important that I enjoy that time 707 00:51:16,379 --> 00:51:18,448 instead of work it all away. 708 00:51:18,448 --> 00:51:21,931 It's getting cold. Gonna put this on my noggin. 709 00:51:27,896 --> 00:51:29,103 I can't believe it. 710 00:51:29,103 --> 00:51:30,931 That's crazy. 711 00:51:38,689 --> 00:51:42,103 I found a... 712 00:51:42,103 --> 00:51:43,827 tangled up gill net. 713 00:51:43,827 --> 00:51:47,206 Seems like some of it is intact. 714 00:51:47,206 --> 00:51:49,793 I want to salvage this. 715 00:51:51,137 --> 00:51:52,793 Pretty cool stuff. 716 00:51:54,379 --> 00:51:55,379 Lucky. 717 00:51:56,793 --> 00:52:01,482 I didn't take the time to make a gill net 718 00:52:01,482 --> 00:52:03,137 because at first, 719 00:52:03,137 --> 00:52:05,724 catching stuff on the bait was really working. 720 00:52:05,724 --> 00:52:07,758 So I just didn't bother with it. 721 00:52:07,758 --> 00:52:11,379 And then I just got so caught up in that shelter. 722 00:52:11,379 --> 00:52:13,034 I'm sure there's a lot of stuff 723 00:52:13,034 --> 00:52:15,551 I'm gonna look back and wish I'd done better. 724 00:52:15,551 --> 00:52:19,206 But you know, that's just the way life is. 725 00:52:19,206 --> 00:52:22,551 Maybe this is just exactly what I needed to win. 726 00:52:23,793 --> 00:52:25,655 I need to get that thing fixed. 727 00:52:25,655 --> 00:52:27,655 I need to get it in the water ASAP, 728 00:52:27,655 --> 00:52:30,482 and hopefully it starts turning a profit. 729 00:52:30,482 --> 00:52:33,862 This could be a big win. 730 00:52:33,862 --> 00:52:38,655 Got us a... gill net. 731 00:52:55,448 --> 00:52:58,413 Oh, my God, dude. 732 00:52:58,413 --> 00:53:00,655 That did not just happen. 733 00:53:01,931 --> 00:53:03,620 Why the [bleep]? 734 00:53:03,620 --> 00:53:06,689 I just smashed my glasses. 735 00:53:06,689 --> 00:53:09,137 That's another terrible mistake. 736 00:53:09,137 --> 00:53:11,206 Can't be making mistakes. 737 00:53:13,724 --> 00:53:16,793 I'm gonna have to, like, figure something out here. 738 00:53:19,931 --> 00:53:21,965 So here's my glasses. 739 00:53:28,965 --> 00:53:31,827 They broke right there. 740 00:53:31,827 --> 00:53:36,896 So the lens is gonna fall out every time I move. 741 00:53:36,896 --> 00:53:43,241 Wonder if I could just try to melt that back together. 742 00:53:43,241 --> 00:53:45,655 I think that's probably what I should try doing. 743 00:53:45,655 --> 00:53:48,517 We got paracord and pine pitch. 744 00:53:48,517 --> 00:53:50,724 So if I can get this heated up... 745 00:53:54,551 --> 00:53:57,034 And welded, if you will, 746 00:53:57,034 --> 00:53:59,551 this plastic welded, 747 00:53:59,551 --> 00:54:02,896 we'll pop in that lens. 748 00:54:04,862 --> 00:54:08,551 And I think we'll be back in business. 749 00:54:08,551 --> 00:54:13,689 It's gonna be probably not just that simple, 750 00:54:13,689 --> 00:54:15,896 'cause most things never are. 751 00:54:18,172 --> 00:54:24,724 So it seems like it's semi... fixed. 752 00:54:24,724 --> 00:54:28,965 I'm gonna wrap paracord really freaking tight. 753 00:54:30,758 --> 00:54:33,275 I'm gonna cover it with a very generous layer 754 00:54:33,275 --> 00:54:35,551 of pine pitch glue. 755 00:54:35,551 --> 00:54:37,241 That's awesome. 756 00:54:39,034 --> 00:54:42,034 There's our resin glue. 757 00:54:42,034 --> 00:54:43,896 Now, I want to get it in every nook and cranny 758 00:54:43,896 --> 00:54:46,310 so that it's basically fiberglass. 759 00:54:46,310 --> 00:54:49,000 OK, put the glue in. 760 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,517 You guys ready for the big unveiling? 761 00:54:56,586 --> 00:54:58,103 Boom. 762 00:54:59,586 --> 00:55:01,793 That's back to normal, man. 763 00:55:03,206 --> 00:55:05,482 That is awesome. 764 00:55:18,172 --> 00:55:20,862 Look at this. This is what I lose 765 00:55:20,862 --> 00:55:23,000 without a hairbrush. 766 00:55:25,137 --> 00:55:28,586 I'm gonna be bald before this journey is over. 767 00:55:30,965 --> 00:55:33,586 Feeling some frustrations right now, 768 00:55:33,586 --> 00:55:36,379 frustrations over my inability to smack an animal 769 00:55:36,379 --> 00:55:38,000 with an arrow. 770 00:55:40,482 --> 00:55:42,448 You know, I've had a couple opportunities 771 00:55:42,448 --> 00:55:43,827 that I could have got some bait, 772 00:55:43,827 --> 00:55:45,655 and I blew it. 773 00:55:48,689 --> 00:55:51,655 All right. 774 00:55:51,655 --> 00:55:54,517 That's enough mental bashing. 775 00:55:54,517 --> 00:55:58,103 I think I'm gonna go take a walk with my bow 776 00:55:58,103 --> 00:56:01,103 and see if there's anything to shoot at. 777 00:56:08,068 --> 00:56:12,655 So I finally have a badass afternoon. 778 00:56:12,655 --> 00:56:16,827 Fairly certain cameras are pointed in the right direction. 779 00:56:16,827 --> 00:56:18,551 And when I go to look at the media, 780 00:56:18,551 --> 00:56:20,586 it says it can't be read. 781 00:56:20,586 --> 00:56:24,413 So... yeah. 782 00:56:24,413 --> 00:56:25,758 It's OK. 783 00:56:25,758 --> 00:56:28,310 Doesn't take away from how fabulous it was. 784 00:56:28,310 --> 00:56:30,724 Because "Alone's" worst hunter... 785 00:56:35,344 --> 00:56:38,344 Got two spruce grouse. 786 00:56:38,344 --> 00:56:39,689 Yay! 787 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:45,965 I have that sense of pride that, 788 00:56:45,965 --> 00:56:49,241 not only did I get a bird, I got two birds. 789 00:56:49,241 --> 00:56:52,000 I don't need the feathers, 790 00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:56,103 so I'm just going to pluck them down to nakedness. 791 00:56:57,482 --> 00:57:00,241 So here I am, with at least two more weeks 792 00:57:00,241 --> 00:57:03,310 that I get to hang out and keep fighting. 793 00:57:05,586 --> 00:57:08,310 OK. One naked little bird. 794 00:57:08,310 --> 00:57:09,965 I've got more bait, 795 00:57:09,965 --> 00:57:12,655 so now I have another chance at fishing, 796 00:57:12,655 --> 00:57:15,827 another chance at feeding myself. 797 00:57:15,827 --> 00:57:19,448 I have an actual chance of being able to nourish my body 798 00:57:19,448 --> 00:57:21,827 through this game and win. 799 00:57:40,310 --> 00:57:44,172 Hey, yo! 800 00:57:44,172 --> 00:57:46,206 It's day 23. 801 00:57:46,206 --> 00:57:48,517 Do you know what that means? 802 00:57:48,517 --> 00:57:51,758 It means it's gonna be a wonderful day. 803 00:57:51,758 --> 00:57:56,344 It means it's untangle a dilapidated gill net day. 804 00:57:56,344 --> 00:57:59,586 It means that today's the day, 805 00:57:59,586 --> 00:58:01,482 and it's gonna be a great one. 806 00:58:01,482 --> 00:58:03,172 Oh, yes. 807 00:58:03,172 --> 00:58:04,344 Ah! 808 00:58:04,344 --> 00:58:06,862 Day 23. 809 00:58:06,862 --> 00:58:12,448 I was sleeping great last night. 810 00:58:12,448 --> 00:58:16,206 I was having a dream about all things breakfast 811 00:58:16,206 --> 00:58:18,344 from Tudor's Biscuit World, 812 00:58:18,344 --> 00:58:21,413 and it was great. 813 00:58:23,413 --> 00:58:27,068 An egg and a hash brown and cheese 814 00:58:27,068 --> 00:58:31,103 and a piece of country fried steak on it. 815 00:58:31,103 --> 00:58:35,413 Yeah, it was so good! Oh, I want some Tudor's! 816 00:58:40,137 --> 00:58:42,241 Oh, yeah. 817 00:58:42,241 --> 00:58:44,689 Definitely got a good feeling about today. 818 00:58:48,931 --> 00:58:53,344 First on the docket is check out my fishing lines. 819 00:58:59,206 --> 00:59:01,310 And nothing. 820 00:59:04,068 --> 00:59:08,724 Might need new--new bait. 821 00:59:11,172 --> 00:59:14,103 Another squirrel would be handy. 822 00:59:14,103 --> 00:59:16,517 I feel like my mind is strong, 823 00:59:16,517 --> 00:59:18,172 but my body's acting 824 00:59:18,172 --> 00:59:21,206 very differently than it has before. 825 00:59:21,206 --> 00:59:25,172 The last few days, I've felt like my chest was tightening, 826 00:59:25,172 --> 00:59:27,275 like I had like an elastic band 827 00:59:27,275 --> 00:59:29,655 wrapped around my ribcage. 828 00:59:29,655 --> 00:59:31,724 No fish today. 829 00:59:31,724 --> 00:59:34,241 That might just mean that I'm too hungry, 830 00:59:34,241 --> 00:59:36,482 which I'm positive has a part to play with it. 831 00:59:38,827 --> 00:59:40,413 Maybe next time. 832 00:59:40,413 --> 00:59:46,103 Today I just feel, like, this discomfort in my chest. 833 00:59:46,103 --> 00:59:47,965 Something to keep an eye on. 834 00:59:50,827 --> 00:59:53,137 All right, time to start working on a gill net. 835 00:59:53,137 --> 00:59:55,000 Let me show you what I got here. 836 00:59:56,379 --> 00:59:58,827 Oh, man, this is gonna take forever! 837 01:00:01,344 --> 01:00:05,241 And you have to understand, this thing was wrapped up. 838 01:00:05,241 --> 01:00:07,448 Oh, did I find the end of it? 839 01:00:07,448 --> 01:00:10,827 Bet that's what that is. 840 01:00:10,827 --> 01:00:13,689 All right, so this is one end of it. 841 01:00:15,655 --> 01:00:20,724 All right, that's already a lot more... 842 01:00:20,724 --> 01:00:22,896 uh, gill net than I already have. 843 01:00:22,896 --> 01:00:25,724 So we're doing something. 844 01:00:25,724 --> 01:00:28,310 I'm positive that my brother Josh is in heaven 845 01:00:28,310 --> 01:00:31,517 watching this right now and just laughing. 846 01:00:38,241 --> 01:00:40,413 My chest don't feel right. 847 01:00:44,586 --> 01:00:47,344 Feel like someone's squeezing down on my insides. 848 01:00:47,344 --> 01:00:50,344 Kind of a throbbing pain when I'm getting active. 849 01:00:50,344 --> 01:00:52,620 And I think it's directly resulted 850 01:00:52,620 --> 01:00:56,448 with not enough food being brought in. 851 01:00:56,448 --> 01:00:58,620 And it's kind of making me a little nervous. 852 01:01:00,034 --> 01:01:01,793 Just got to keep pushing. That's it. 853 01:01:01,793 --> 01:01:03,344 There's no other way around it. 854 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,758 Nice! 855 01:01:10,655 --> 01:01:13,655 Well, it's definitely more than 10 meshes deep. 856 01:01:16,724 --> 01:01:18,034 All right. 857 01:01:18,034 --> 01:01:21,379 The net is cut to size-ish. 858 01:01:21,379 --> 01:01:26,068 I'm going to cut down a spruce pole 859 01:01:26,068 --> 01:01:29,344 to use to hang this thing out there. 860 01:01:29,344 --> 01:01:30,931 Let's get it. 861 01:01:59,379 --> 01:02:01,448 My heart's going nuts. 862 01:02:16,931 --> 01:02:18,862 I am losing my breath. 863 01:02:23,206 --> 01:02:25,241 My chest hurts like crazy. 864 01:02:30,586 --> 01:02:31,862 Oh, I can just hear-- 865 01:02:31,862 --> 01:02:34,379 I can feel my heart just, like, pounding. 866 01:02:38,103 --> 01:02:40,172 I'm not even doing anything. 867 01:02:42,310 --> 01:02:47,172 It's like my sternum and my upper abdomen, maybe. 868 01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:52,172 I gotta get some food, actual food. 869 01:02:54,034 --> 01:02:56,172 I think that's what it is. 870 01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,620 Maybe. 871 01:03:03,517 --> 01:03:05,724 Something is not right. 872 01:03:09,241 --> 01:03:11,068 It hurts a lot. 873 01:03:15,965 --> 01:03:19,517 Oh, God, it's not getting better. 874 01:03:23,034 --> 01:03:24,379 There's something big over here 875 01:03:24,379 --> 01:03:26,344 on the other side of this lake right now. 876 01:03:27,586 --> 01:03:29,000 That's a big [bleep] moose. 877 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:30,896 All right, here we go, baby. 878 01:03:30,896 --> 01:03:33,551 Living on the edge. Day by day meals. 879 01:03:33,551 --> 01:03:35,241 Good food cache. 880 01:03:35,241 --> 01:03:37,275 I'm gonna eat the last of the whitefish. 881 01:03:39,034 --> 01:03:40,517 Just in front of my shelter, 882 01:03:40,517 --> 01:03:42,724 there's fresh wolf tracks this morning. 883 01:03:42,724 --> 01:03:44,103 It's a wild place out here. 884 01:03:45,758 --> 01:03:49,172 Brothers! The time has come!