1
00:00:22,047 --> 00:00:25,583
Hard at it, Will? That's the spirit.
Gotta keep the cash coming in.

2
00:00:25,607 --> 00:00:28,863
I mean, all this ale and pie I'm
quaffing and gorging does not buy itself.

3
00:00:28,887 --> 00:00:29,983
No, Kit.

4
00:00:30,007 --> 00:00:31,943
And now that thou hast
faked thine own death

5
00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:34,183
and must ever crash
upon mine couch,

6
00:00:34,207 --> 00:00:36,863
my household bills
soareth most steeply.

7
00:00:36,887 --> 00:00:39,743
Well, establishing a
new identity takes time.

8
00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:43,263
Yes, particularly if done
from a horizontal position.

9
00:00:43,287 --> 00:00:45,023
What are you writing,
then? Another Henry?

10
00:00:45,047 --> 00:00:47,543
You haven't churned one of
those out in at least a fortnight.

11
00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:51,263
I imagine all London is
gagging for Henry XIX, Part 12.

12
00:00:51,287 --> 00:00:53,503
No, not a history, Kit.

13
00:00:53,527 --> 00:00:55,743
Burbage demands
yet another comedy.

14
00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:57,583
I think he's right,
people need escapism.

15
00:00:57,607 --> 00:00:59,063
We're living in dangerous times.

16
00:00:59,087 --> 00:01:01,343
Yeah, look at me -
I got killed in a fight.

17
00:01:01,367 --> 00:01:04,343
And now the hungriest,
thirstiest corpse in Southwark.

18
00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:08,423
Burbage also wants romance, so
I've decided to set the play in Venice,

19
00:01:08,447 --> 00:01:10,503
city of carnival, city of light.

20
00:01:10,527 --> 00:01:12,703
City of stink, more
like. I've been there.

21
00:01:12,727 --> 00:01:15,543
They've combined the transport
system with the sewage system

22
00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:18,783
and float about on a
shimmering sea of turdingtons.

23
00:01:18,807 --> 00:01:20,423
That's why they're
developing opera -

24
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:22,783
keeps them breathing
through their mouths.

25
00:01:22,807 --> 00:01:26,703
Well, I certainly can't think of any
other reason for developing opera.

26
00:01:26,727 --> 00:01:27,943
What's the story, master?

27
00:01:27,967 --> 00:01:29,583
I like a bit of the
old soppy stuff.

28
00:01:29,607 --> 00:01:32,743
Well, Portia, a noble
lady, has many suitors,

29
00:01:32,767 --> 00:01:35,823
so her father devises a
brilliant test of character

30
00:01:35,847 --> 00:01:38,783
to discover the right
man for his beloved child.

31
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:41,583
He hides his permission
in one of three boxes -

32
00:01:41,607 --> 00:01:44,783
a gold box, a silver
box and a lead box.

33
00:01:44,807 --> 00:01:46,063
Now, here's the stunner.

34
00:01:46,087 --> 00:01:48,063
The permission is
contained within...

35
00:01:48,087 --> 00:01:49,680
- The lead box.
- ...the lead bo...

36
00:01:51,087 --> 00:01:52,263
How did you know that?

37
00:01:52,287 --> 00:01:53,743
Well, cos it's obvious.

38
00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:54,783
Why?

39
00:01:54,807 --> 00:01:57,943
If you were offered a gold
casket, a silver one or a lead one,

40
00:01:57,967 --> 00:01:59,263
you'd choose the gold one.

41
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,743
Yeah, but you didn't say, "Choose
a casket and you can keep it,"

42
00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:03,223
you said it were
a test of character.

43
00:02:03,247 --> 00:02:06,503
And gloriously, stunningly obviously,
the lucky note's going to be concealed

44
00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:08,303
in the least showy
and ostentatious box.

45
00:02:08,327 --> 00:02:09,343
Duh!

46
00:02:09,367 --> 00:02:10,703
Well, I think it's brilliant,

47
00:02:10,727 --> 00:02:13,183
and you're just jealous
cos you didn't think of it.

48
00:02:13,207 --> 00:02:14,783
Yeah, well, nor did
you, as it happens.

49
00:02:14,807 --> 00:02:15,863
I bloomin' did!

50
00:02:15,887 --> 00:02:18,783
Sorry, mate, you pinched it from
a collection of medieval stories

51
00:02:18,807 --> 00:02:19,863
called Gesta Romanorum,

52
00:02:19,887 --> 00:02:21,943
which Kate's reading and
which she leaves in the privy.

53
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:25,143
Well, I... I may
have glanced at it

54
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:26,703
while awaiting the appearance

55
00:02:26,727 --> 00:02:29,143
of that which the cockney
costermongers have,

56
00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:32,543
in tribute to me and in the manner
of their amusing rhyming slang,

57
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:34,399
termed a Richard III.

58
00:02:35,887 --> 00:02:38,783
Ah! It's cos it rhymes, is it?

59
00:02:38,807 --> 00:02:41,526
I thought it was because they
thought your play was crap.

60
00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:43,743
I kinda think it is.

61
00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:45,943
No, definitely
because it rhymes.

62
00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:48,783
And yes, Kit, 'tis possible
that, as I awaited King Richard,

63
00:02:48,807 --> 00:02:53,223
who was as ever late upon his
hour due to a lack of fibre in my diet,

64
00:02:53,247 --> 00:02:55,703
I glanced at this
Gesta Romanorum.

65
00:02:55,727 --> 00:02:57,863
Yes, in fact, I do recall now.

66
00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,103
I remember thinking,

67
00:02:59,127 --> 00:03:02,423
"Goodness, some medieval fellow had
exactly the same idea for a plot as me!"

68
00:03:02,447 --> 00:03:04,983
What were the odds?

69
00:03:05,007 --> 00:03:07,903
So, what's this three casket business
got to do with a merchant, anyway?

70
00:03:07,927 --> 00:03:08,943
Is he Portia's suitor?

71
00:03:08,967 --> 00:03:10,423
No, that's Bassanio.

72
00:03:10,447 --> 00:03:13,823
But Bassanio is too poor to
marry Portia, so he asks his mate,

73
00:03:13,847 --> 00:03:16,583
the merchant Antonio,
to lend him some cash.

74
00:03:16,607 --> 00:03:19,663
Unfortunately, Antonio's
cash is all tied up at sea,

75
00:03:19,687 --> 00:03:21,063
so he has to borrow it

76
00:03:21,087 --> 00:03:24,205
from a kindly old
moneylender called Timothy.

77
00:03:26,087 --> 00:03:30,823
Now, Timothy's daughter Jessica is in love
with Lorenzo, a friend of Bassanio's...

78
00:03:30,847 --> 00:03:32,663
Nodding off already.

79
00:03:32,687 --> 00:03:36,383
Sorry, mate, it sounds like a right
load of overconvoluted puffling porridge,

80
00:03:36,407 --> 00:03:37,463
if you ask me.

81
00:03:37,487 --> 00:03:38,583
Yeah, I kind of know.

82
00:03:38,607 --> 00:03:39,623
On the plus side,

83
00:03:39,647 --> 00:03:42,423
overconvoluted puffling porridge
has never let you down before.

84
00:03:42,447 --> 00:03:44,903
But people like a bit of
edge, something new.

85
00:03:44,927 --> 00:03:50,463
I've got a clown called Launcelot
Gobbo, which is a very funny name.

86
00:03:50,487 --> 00:03:51,823
But what else?

87
00:03:51,847 --> 00:03:55,983
I need a big, important, timeless
issue to put at the heart of the new piece.

88
00:03:56,007 --> 00:03:58,343
But it's not as if a big,
important, timeless issue

89
00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:00,343
is just going to come
walking through the door.

90
00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:02,383
Gosh, that was scary!

91
00:04:02,407 --> 00:04:04,263
But also wonderful,

92
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:07,543
being part of such a big,
important, timeless issue.

93
00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:09,143
Goodness, Kate,
where have you been?

94
00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:10,423
At the anti-immigrant riots.

95
00:04:10,447 --> 00:04:12,943
I've been on the
counterdemonstration,

96
00:04:12,967 --> 00:04:16,143
defending the French and Dutch
refugees who have come here

97
00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:19,023
escaping religious
persecution on the Continent.

98
00:04:19,047 --> 00:04:21,863
It's worse than the
Dutch church riots of 1593.

99
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:25,005
Yes, I fear anti-European
sentiment is getting worse.

100
00:04:26,487 --> 00:04:28,303
Well, they're everywhere,

101
00:04:28,327 --> 00:04:31,143
talking foreign and
eating weird food...

102
00:04:31,167 --> 00:04:33,103
Soft cheese?
What's all that about?!

103
00:04:33,127 --> 00:04:35,383
Cheese is meant to be hard.

104
00:04:35,407 --> 00:04:37,823
When I see soft, runny
cheese for sale at market...

105
00:04:37,847 --> 00:04:41,423
Ugh! ...I feel alienated and
uncomfortable in my own city.

106
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,863
The other day, I was
confronted by a furious crowd

107
00:04:43,887 --> 00:04:46,663
because a woman thought I was
concealing a baguette in my tights.

108
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:49,943
- Yeah.
- Laughable misunderstanding, of course.

109
00:04:49,967 --> 00:04:52,023
Just pleased to see her.

110
00:04:52,047 --> 00:04:54,703
The times really
are turning ugly.

111
00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:58,263
Our maids and matrons protest
group was continually interrupted

112
00:04:58,287 --> 00:04:59,943
by groups of apprentice boys

113
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,943
demanding that we display
to them our boobingtons

114
00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:04,623
and even threatening our honour.

115
00:05:04,647 --> 00:05:09,783
Strange how some men's considered response
to a woman expressing a political view

116
00:05:09,807 --> 00:05:13,543
or merely going about her
business is sexual harassment.

117
00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:15,623
I'm sure that in centuries hence

118
00:05:15,647 --> 00:05:17,983
men will be sufficiently
emotionally mature

119
00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:20,463
to reject such
patriarchal intimidation.

120
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,863
Or, if not,

121
00:05:21,887 --> 00:05:26,383
women will finally begin to stand up to it
and name and shame those responsible.

122
00:05:26,407 --> 00:05:27,903
Blimey, Kate, have a care.

123
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:30,463
I mean, that could go
horribly, horribly wrong.

124
00:05:30,487 --> 00:05:33,663
I mean, what of jolly banter? What
of harmless japes and japey japes?

125
00:05:33,687 --> 00:05:37,423
Why, if women were to set out on
such a chillingly threatening course,

126
00:05:37,447 --> 00:05:41,823
I mean, men would scarce be able
to admire a pertsome bum-shank,

127
00:05:41,847 --> 00:05:44,823
insist upon an overly long
hug with a junior employee

128
00:05:44,847 --> 00:05:48,143
or make creepy observations
masquerading as compliments

129
00:05:48,167 --> 00:05:49,343
at Christmas parties.

130
00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:52,583
Strangely, I think I
could live with that.

131
00:05:52,607 --> 00:05:54,743
In the meantime, the
only comfort we may take

132
00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:57,103
from this awful
anti-European rioting is that,

133
00:05:57,127 --> 00:05:59,383
if ever such an influx of
foreigners happens again,

134
00:05:59,407 --> 00:06:01,205
government can
prepare for it properly...

135
00:06:02,847 --> 00:06:05,903
affording extra funding for
expanded community services

136
00:06:05,927 --> 00:06:08,543
and not simply dumping
the incoming migrants

137
00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:09,863
on the poorest areas.

138
00:06:09,887 --> 00:06:12,223
Yes, at least if those
lessons are learned,

139
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,223
then something
good will come of this.

140
00:06:14,247 --> 00:06:16,023
Meanwhile, I can't
talk about prejudice,

141
00:06:16,047 --> 00:06:18,143
bigotry and intolerance
of minorities all day,

142
00:06:18,167 --> 00:06:20,143
I have to find a
big, important issue

143
00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:22,522
to put at the heart of
my Merchant Of Venice.

144
00:06:26,087 --> 00:06:28,703
What do you think of this?

145
00:06:28,727 --> 00:06:30,623
Antonio, the merchant of Venice,

146
00:06:30,647 --> 00:06:33,183
wants a loan from
Timothy, the moneylender.

147
00:06:33,207 --> 00:06:36,863
Antonio - "Can I
borrow 3,000 ducats?"

148
00:06:36,887 --> 00:06:39,163
Timothy - "No problem,
pay me back when you can.”

149
00:06:40,727 --> 00:06:44,663
It's almost there, I just think it
needs a bit of edge, a bit of tension,

150
00:06:44,687 --> 00:06:47,143
some issue which divides them.

151
00:06:47,167 --> 00:06:49,743
Well, you can't be worrying
about divisive issues now, master,

152
00:06:49,767 --> 00:06:53,143
because with all this hatred of
minorities and anti-foreigner rioting,

153
00:06:53,167 --> 00:06:54,943
you're going to be
late for the theatre,

154
00:06:54,967 --> 00:06:57,023
so you'd better give
yourself extra time.

155
00:06:57,047 --> 00:06:59,983
Yes, you're right, Botsky.
We're auditioning a new actor.

156
00:07:00,007 --> 00:07:01,303
Why not come along, Kate?

157
00:07:01,327 --> 00:07:03,343
I'd value the totty viewpoint.

158
00:07:03,367 --> 00:07:05,343
Oh, I'd love to, Mr Shakespeare!

159
00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:08,463
And good experience for
me, since, as you know,

160
00:07:08,487 --> 00:07:11,703
if ever the law be changed and
as a woman I be allowed to act,

161
00:07:11,727 --> 00:07:14,303
then as a strong
woman, who is strong,

162
00:07:14,327 --> 00:07:17,957
I shall straightway announce
that my real ambition is to direct.

163
00:07:19,087 --> 00:07:21,063
I really admire
you for that, Kate.

164
00:07:21,087 --> 00:07:23,743
Gotta follow your
insane delusions.

165
00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:27,583
I truly believe that if you dare to
have a big enough insane delusion,

166
00:07:27,607 --> 00:07:29,723
then anything is possible.

167
00:07:32,807 --> 00:07:34,063
Where is Will?

168
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:38,143
This new actor is expected any
moment and Will is late upon his hour!

169
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:41,823
Sorry, the anti-immigrant
protests have closed half the town.

170
00:07:41,847 --> 00:07:44,583
Some say it could
be as bad as 1517,

171
00:07:44,607 --> 00:07:47,423
when the blood of butchered
foreigners did flow through London streets

172
00:07:47,447 --> 00:07:50,023
and Sir Thomas More
himself faced down the mob.

173
00:07:50,047 --> 00:07:52,703
You're so old you
were probably there!

174
00:07:52,727 --> 00:07:56,063
Old fart phobic or bravely
challenging old fart phobia?

175
00:07:56,087 --> 00:07:57,663
You decide.

176
00:07:57,687 --> 00:07:59,023
Yes... But to business!

177
00:07:59,047 --> 00:08:01,903
We are assembled to consider
acquiring this new player,

178
00:08:01,927 --> 00:08:04,063
who's causing quite a stir.

179
00:08:04,087 --> 00:08:05,223
I've asked Kate along.

180
00:08:05,247 --> 00:08:07,943
I thought it could be useful
to get a woman's perspective.

181
00:08:07,967 --> 00:08:09,303
Such a privilege.

182
00:08:09,327 --> 00:08:11,783
As long as she doesn't
try and get the job herself.

183
00:08:11,807 --> 00:08:13,663
We've seen her
girlish tricks before.

184
00:08:13,687 --> 00:08:15,743
On my honour, sir.

185
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:18,063
There's no honour when it
comes to getting a part, ducky.

186
00:08:18,087 --> 00:08:21,303
I've torn the coconuts off
more convincing girls than you!

187
00:08:21,327 --> 00:08:24,023
So, what are the qualities we
should be looking for in this actor?

188
00:08:24,047 --> 00:08:27,023
Well, shouting, obviously.

189
00:08:27,047 --> 00:08:28,823
And strutting.

190
00:08:28,847 --> 00:08:32,806
Yes, we're looking for an
actor who can shout and strrrut.

191
00:08:37,327 --> 00:08:38,840
I am the actor Wolf Hall

192
00:08:43,767 --> 00:08:46,943
But I do not shout
and I do not strut.

193
00:08:46,967 --> 00:08:50,303
I have developed a
revolutionary new style,

194
00:08:50,327 --> 00:08:56,323
subtle, nuanced, emoting from within
by means of long, sad-eyed stares...

195
00:08:58,207 --> 00:09:01,063
pregnant with weary wisdom

196
00:09:01,087 --> 00:09:02,486
and penetrating perception.

197
00:09:04,527 --> 00:09:06,086
Next!

198
00:09:09,727 --> 00:09:13,823
Stay a moment, Burbage,
he may have something.

199
00:09:13,847 --> 00:09:16,487
Here is my Thomas Wolsey.

200
00:09:20,887 --> 00:09:24,482
And here, by way of contrast,
is my Thomas Cromwell.

201
00:09:31,287 --> 00:09:32,943
Now...

202
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,044
my Thomas More.

203
00:09:42,647 --> 00:09:44,957
Actually, fair play, he
gives good Thomas.

204
00:09:46,207 --> 00:09:48,703
I must admit, he is
subtle and nuanced.

205
00:09:48,727 --> 00:09:50,423
Those eyes, so sad.

206
00:09:50,447 --> 00:09:54,623
And so pregnant with weary
wisdom and penetrating perception.

207
00:09:54,647 --> 00:09:58,183
I imagine audiences will
happily watch the actor Wolf Hall

208
00:09:58,207 --> 00:10:01,503
stare wearily and wisely
for minutes at a time.

209
00:10:01,527 --> 00:10:05,077
Blimey! If we had him in a show,
my plays would be twice as long.

210
00:10:06,967 --> 00:10:09,903
Richard IIT would
be eight or nine hours!

211
00:10:09,927 --> 00:10:12,143
How good would that be?

212
00:10:12,167 --> 00:10:14,183
Book him, Mr Burbage. Trust me.

213
00:10:14,207 --> 00:10:17,183
Us brainy birds will
go totally wibbly-wobbly

214
00:10:17,207 --> 00:10:18,703
for an actor like that.

215
00:10:18,727 --> 00:10:21,303
This gal's already a
member of the Wolf pack.

216
00:10:21,327 --> 00:10:22,647
Whoo!

217
00:10:23,687 --> 00:10:25,903
Well, he does have a
certain presence, I admit.

218
00:10:25,927 --> 00:10:28,823
Perhaps in smaller roles.

219
00:10:28,847 --> 00:10:33,583
There are no small roles for
the actor Wolf Hall, Mr Burbage.

220
00:10:33,607 --> 00:10:38,423
With a stare as weary,
penetrating and perceptive as this,

221
00:10:38,447 --> 00:10:41,678
every role is a lead.

222
00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,124
The actor Wolf Hall
bids you good day.

223
00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:54,303
God's boobikins,

224
00:10:54,327 --> 00:10:58,263
Shakespeare has found an
actor with eyes so sad and weary

225
00:10:58,287 --> 00:11:00,503
and a stare so
astute and penetrating

226
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:05,343
that every brainy bird in
London will go wibbly-wobbly.

227
00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:08,943
So, 'tis agreed, this Wolf
Hall shall join our company,

228
00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:11,823
and Mr Shakespeare
will write a little part for him

229
00:11:11,847 --> 00:11:13,503
in his new Venetian comedy.

230
00:11:13,527 --> 00:11:14,623
Absolutely.

231
00:11:14,647 --> 00:11:16,103
Curses!

232
00:11:16,127 --> 00:11:20,023
Such subtle and nuanced acting
would lend wings to the Crow's verse

233
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:23,023
and increase his fame tenfold.

234
00:11:23,047 --> 00:11:24,401
How can this be stopped?

235
00:11:25,447 --> 00:11:26,983
Well...

236
00:11:27,007 --> 00:11:29,183
If there's one thing
I know about actors,

237
00:11:29,207 --> 00:11:31,863
particularly the subtle
and nuanced kind,

238
00:11:31,887 --> 00:11:34,583
is that because they put
on funny voices for a living,

239
00:11:34,607 --> 00:11:38,263
they be in constant fear that
people will think them thick,

240
00:11:38,287 --> 00:11:40,583
thus will they loudly champion

241
00:11:40,607 --> 00:11:43,863
any exotic theorem or obscure
cause that comes their way

242
00:11:43,887 --> 00:11:46,925
in the mistaken belief that
it'll make them look clever.

243
00:11:49,047 --> 00:11:51,703
I begin to see my way.

244
00:11:51,727 --> 00:11:55,263
But first, Will, let us
to Miss Lucy's tavern,

245
00:11:55,287 --> 00:11:58,103
for we actors have a radical
idea to discuss with you

246
00:11:58,127 --> 00:11:59,800
to help the poor refugees.

247
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:03,143
A benefit night
for the refugees,

248
00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:05,583
with all London's
leading theatre stars?

249
00:12:05,607 --> 00:12:08,023
I think it's a wonderful
idea. Don't you, Miss Lucy?

250
00:12:08,047 --> 00:12:10,103
Oh, yes, Mr Shakespeare.

251
00:12:10,127 --> 00:12:12,543
Although, as an escaped
sex worker myself,

252
00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:15,503
I would say legal
status, safe sanctuary,

253
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,383
ruthless prosecution
of people traffickers

254
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:19,983
and, above all, a global
approach to the causes of the crisis

255
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,183
would be better.

256
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:22,983
But in the absence of these,

257
00:12:23,007 --> 00:12:26,716
I'd say a bunch of luvvie-kissies
showing off is as good a start as any.

258
00:12:28,127 --> 00:12:29,663
Then that's settled.

259
00:12:29,687 --> 00:12:32,103
Yes, well, the concert
will need a title.

260
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:35,103
A day, I think. We should
name a special day.

261
00:12:35,127 --> 00:12:37,863
Well, many a time and
oft during our touring days

262
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,823
did Condell and I perform
the big red nose gag.

263
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:44,783
Where I took my inflated pig's
bladder and whacked him on the nose,

264
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:46,103
causing it to go red.

265
00:12:46,127 --> 00:12:50,903
Brilliant! That's it, we'll call our
day Inflated Pig's Bladder Day.

266
00:12:50,927 --> 00:12:53,303
Ah, good!

267
00:12:56,287 --> 00:12:58,303
Oh, it's going brilliantly!

268
00:12:58,327 --> 00:13:01,303
And look! Burbage and
Condell are going to do their joke.

269
00:13:01,327 --> 00:13:04,103
Oh!

270
00:13:04,127 --> 00:13:06,823
Oh!

271
00:13:06,847 --> 00:13:10,303
Oh, master, now I'L make
thy arse as red as thy nose!

272
00:13:10,327 --> 00:13:11,983
Oh!

273
00:13:12,007 --> 00:13:14,362
That's so funny!

274
00:13:15,487 --> 00:13:17,223
Now, recently,

275
00:13:17,247 --> 00:13:20,143
on behalf of Inflated
Pig's Bladder Day,

276
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,602
we visited a refugee
area in Shoreditch.

277
00:13:24,047 --> 00:13:28,439
We saw clogless Dutchmen
begging for cheese and stroopwafel.

278
00:13:30,767 --> 00:13:32,783
Frenchmen so weak with hunger

279
00:13:32,807 --> 00:13:36,103
they had not the strength
to cheat on their wives.

280
00:13:36,127 --> 00:13:40,223
I can't deny that the moments
of harsh, documentary reality

281
00:13:40,247 --> 00:13:41,783
sit rather uncomfortably

282
00:13:41,807 --> 00:13:44,543
against the hilarity of
the bum-kicking gags.

283
00:13:44,567 --> 00:13:47,983
Yes, it does feel like rather
a strange juxtaposition.

284
00:13:48,007 --> 00:13:50,143
Still, the benefit
night is a new art form.

285
00:13:50,167 --> 00:13:52,743
No doubt in future ages they'll
have found a way round that one.

286
00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:54,983
You've got to hope so.

287
00:13:55,007 --> 00:14:00,605
Which means that we have
raised the amazing amount of...

288
00:14:06,007 --> 00:14:07,743
Thank you, London!

289
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:10,063
Thank you!

290
00:14:10,087 --> 00:14:11,863
Well, sounds like
an amazing result.

291
00:14:11,887 --> 00:14:13,943
I mean, I wish I wasn't in
hiding and could have been there.

292
00:14:13,967 --> 00:14:15,743
Nearly five pounds!
That's a hell of a lot!

293
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:17,183
Hey!

294
00:14:17,207 --> 00:14:18,543
Although, not so much

295
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:21,183
if you consider that a
full great ship of the line

296
00:14:21,207 --> 00:14:22,943
cost the Exchequer about 2,000.

297
00:14:22,967 --> 00:14:25,183
Well, you hear a lot
of that sort of argument

298
00:14:25,207 --> 00:14:26,863
from gloomy
naysayers, Miss Lucy,

299
00:14:26,887 --> 00:14:28,463
but five quid's five quid,

300
00:14:28,487 --> 00:14:30,103
and without tonight's benefit,

301
00:14:30,127 --> 00:14:31,503
all we'd have would be nothing.

302
00:14:31,527 --> 00:14:33,263
Hey!

303
00:14:33,287 --> 00:14:35,983
Except that maybe, without
charity nights like tonight,

304
00:14:36,007 --> 00:14:38,103
people wouldn't be able to
think they'd achieved something

305
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,543
when, really, nothing's
changed at all.

306
00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:43,183
And without that comforting
illusion, they might be more minded

307
00:14:43,207 --> 00:14:47,023
to agitate for genuine political change,
which could make an actual difference.

308
00:14:47,047 --> 00:14:51,623
I mean, you could argue that charity
affords politicians an excuse for inaction

309
00:14:51,647 --> 00:14:54,241
and exploiters the
pretence of a conscience.

310
00:14:56,487 --> 00:14:58,783
Still, we raised
nearly five pounds!

311
00:14:58,807 --> 00:15:00,983
Hey!

312
00:15:01,007 --> 00:15:03,023
But it would be wonderful
to do something more

313
00:15:03,047 --> 00:15:05,863
than just raise money, don't
you think, Mr Shakespeare?

314
00:15:05,887 --> 00:15:08,223
Something profound and timeless,

315
00:15:08,247 --> 00:15:10,743
a lasting reflection
on the corrosive nature

316
00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:12,263
of bigotry and intolerance.

317
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:15,423
Well, that is undoubtedly true,
but I'm also very busy, Kate.

318
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:17,983
I'm looking for a truly
timeless and universal issue

319
00:15:18,007 --> 00:15:19,645
to elevate my
Merchant Of Venice.

320
00:15:21,927 --> 00:15:26,143
Hang on... Hang the futtock on!

321
00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:29,143
Mr Hall, if you join
the Burbage company

322
00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:32,343
with your extraordinarily
sad but kindly eyes

323
00:15:32,367 --> 00:15:34,423
and weary, perceptive stare,

324
00:15:34,447 --> 00:15:36,383
you will without a
doubt soon become

325
00:15:36,407 --> 00:15:39,863
one of the greatest
Shakespearean players of your day.

326
00:15:39,887 --> 00:15:41,263
That much is certain.

327
00:15:41,287 --> 00:15:42,943
Hm.

328
00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:45,463
This Shakespeare...

329
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:48,103
A curious thing, is he not?

330
00:15:48,127 --> 00:15:49,623
I mean, who could have imagined

331
00:15:49,647 --> 00:15:53,383
that a mere town-school
spotty-grotty could write such verse?

332
00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:55,943
That a turnip-chewing,
country bum-shankle

333
00:15:55,967 --> 00:15:59,143
could produce such
insight and such wisdom?

334
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,423
- 'Tis passing strange. - Mm...

335
00:16:01,447 --> 00:16:03,143
One might almost imagine

336
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:05,103
that some educated posh boy

337
00:16:05,127 --> 00:16:07,823
had writ his plays in secret.

338
00:16:07,847 --> 00:16:13,503
I don't know, a university man like
Sir Francis Bacon or the Earl of Oxford.

339
00:16:13,527 --> 00:16:15,623
Interesting. Fascinating.

340
00:16:15,647 --> 00:16:17,943
Or Christopher Marlowe, perhaps!

341
00:16:17,967 --> 00:16:20,303
They say he's dead, but is he?

342
00:16:20,327 --> 00:16:22,943
The actor Wolf
Hall is intrigued.

343
00:16:22,967 --> 00:16:28,023
He takes the bait, and thus do I prove
one of the great truths of life and art,

344
00:16:28,047 --> 00:16:31,863
that just because an actor looks
intelligent and can play intelligent

345
00:16:31,887 --> 00:16:35,323
doesn't mean that
he is intelligent.

346
00:16:39,647 --> 00:16:43,383
I wonder how Susanna's getting
on with her first day at work.

347
00:16:43,407 --> 00:16:44,943
I'm so proud of her.

348
00:16:44,967 --> 00:16:49,023
Well, I don't think it's fitting, a
maid teaching in a dame school.

349
00:16:49,047 --> 00:16:51,103
Oh, she's only helping
out with the younger ones,

350
00:16:51,127 --> 00:16:52,943
reading and writing.

351
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:55,183
The responsibility‘ll
do her good,

352
00:16:55,207 --> 00:16:57,743
stop her being such a
grumpy little bitchington.

353
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,623
Where's my tea? I'm starving!

354
00:16:59,647 --> 00:17:00,743
I had to walk home.

355
00:17:00,767 --> 00:17:03,903
Why couldn't Grandad pick me
up in the cart? What's he do all day?

356
00:17:03,927 --> 00:17:06,965
Nothing! I hate
my life! Shut up!

357
00:17:08,047 --> 00:17:09,263
Long day, love?

358
00:17:09,287 --> 00:17:11,903
What is this, the Star Chamber?
You're always on at me!

359
00:17:11,927 --> 00:17:14,903
Yes, it was a long day.
You happy now? Shut up!

360
00:17:14,927 --> 00:17:17,503
I actually think she
might be improving a bit.

361
00:17:17,527 --> 00:17:19,423
Well, tell us a bit about it.

362
00:17:19,447 --> 00:17:20,943
Were the boys nice?

363
00:17:20,967 --> 00:17:23,983
No, they're a bunch
of nasty little swine.

364
00:17:24,007 --> 00:17:25,863
There's this one kid
who's a bit different,

365
00:17:25,887 --> 00:17:29,263
you know, what they call a holy
innocent, and they are so mean to him.

366
00:17:29,287 --> 00:17:31,663
We had a boy like
that in my class.

367
00:17:31,687 --> 00:17:32,863
Brilliant!

368
00:17:32,887 --> 00:17:34,903
We used to call him stupid.

369
00:17:34,927 --> 00:17:36,263
Wasn't any harm in it.

370
00:17:36,287 --> 00:17:37,783
We used to play tricks on him.

371
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,263
Wasn't any harm in it.

372
00:17:39,287 --> 00:17:41,143
We used to steal his lunch,

373
00:17:41,167 --> 00:17:42,343
chuck him in the pond

374
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:46,503
and reduce him to a weeping,
sobbing wretch in the corner.

375
00:17:46,527 --> 00:17:47,642
Wasn't any...

376
00:17:48,847 --> 00:17:50,201
harmin it.

377
00:17:51,647 --> 00:17:53,623
Actually, when I think about it,

378
00:17:53,647 --> 00:17:55,823
there was quite
a lot of harm in it,

379
00:17:55,847 --> 00:17:57,884
which is why I try
not to think about it.

380
00:17:59,447 --> 00:18:02,023
So thanks a lot for
bringing it up, Susanna!

381
00:18:02,047 --> 00:18:06,463
My class is full of insensitive
bastables like Grandad was.

382
00:18:06,487 --> 00:18:08,623
I just wish there was a
way I could make them see

383
00:18:08,647 --> 00:18:10,743
that this kid has
exactly the same feelings

384
00:18:10,767 --> 00:18:13,423
and exactly the same
human value as they do.

385
00:18:13,447 --> 00:18:15,783
Well, maybe you should
speak to your father about it.

386
00:18:15,807 --> 00:18:19,503
He can be very astute on
matters of human nature.

387
00:18:19,527 --> 00:18:22,103
He knows a bit about
being bullied, too.

388
00:18:22,127 --> 00:18:24,960
He started going bald
when he was seven.

389
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:29,663
I'll put an outsider at the
centre of my Venice play -

390
00:18:29,687 --> 00:18:31,183
despised and belittled.

391
00:18:31,207 --> 00:18:34,183
I'll make him the moneylender
and create an iconic figure

392
00:18:34,207 --> 00:18:38,343
who will stand for all time as an
affront to prejudice and bigotry.

393
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,423
Such a brilliant idea!

394
00:18:40,447 --> 00:18:41,743
I can't deny, it seems strong.

395
00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:43,623
So what type of outsider
are you going to make him?

396
00:18:43,647 --> 00:18:45,143
Well, isn't it obvious?

397
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,807
I'll make the
moneylender a Dutchman.

398
00:18:50,047 --> 00:18:51,903
These riots are about
European refugees,

399
00:18:51,927 --> 00:18:53,103
and I can't go French

400
00:18:53,127 --> 00:18:57,223
because even my huge brain would struggle
to find sympathetic qualities there.

401
00:18:57,247 --> 00:18:59,343
So Dutch it is.

402
00:18:59,367 --> 00:19:03,943
Laas, a villainous but ultimately
deeply human Dutchman.

403
00:19:03,967 --> 00:19:05,943
A tall, blond man in clogs

404
00:19:05,967 --> 00:19:08,383
fond of rubbery cheese
and high-quality beer,

405
00:19:08,407 --> 00:19:12,383
yet somehow managing to
maintain a trim and attractive figure.

406
00:19:12,407 --> 00:19:15,503
- Isn't it brilliant?
- Hm, I'm not sure.

407
00:19:15,527 --> 00:19:17,463
Then it's a good thing
I'm the genius, isn't it?

408
00:19:17,487 --> 00:19:20,383
So, Antonio has
asked for his loan,

409
00:19:20,407 --> 00:19:22,303
and Dutch Laas is
reflecting on the fact

410
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:27,023
that this same Antonio has insulted
him and plotted against him on the rialto.

411
00:19:27,047 --> 00:19:28,663
Kate, read it out for me.

412
00:19:28,687 --> 00:19:30,303
You have something
of the subtlety

413
00:19:30,327 --> 00:19:32,364
that I believe Wolf
Hall will bring to the role.

414
00:19:34,887 --> 00:19:39,783
You hath disgraced me, laughed
at my losses, mocked at my gains,

415
00:19:39,807 --> 00:19:44,583
scorned at my nation... And
what's his reason? I am Dutch.

416
00:19:49,047 --> 00:19:52,143
Excuse me, but, Bottom,
Marlowe, why are you laughing?

417
00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:53,463
Sorry, can't help it.

418
00:19:53,487 --> 00:19:54,703
It's the accent.

419
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,903
I beg your pardon, I do a
very good Dutch accent.

420
00:19:57,927 --> 00:20:01,623
It just seems to play against
the timeless majesty of the poetry.

421
00:20:01,647 --> 00:20:03,023
Well, surely that's
the whole point.

422
00:20:03,047 --> 00:20:05,463
People are alienated by
things they're unfamiliar with

423
00:20:05,487 --> 00:20:06,863
and thus despise them.

424
00:20:06,887 --> 00:20:08,983
Kate, please, proceed.

425
00:20:10,407 --> 00:20:12,943
If you prick us,
do we not bleed?

426
00:20:12,967 --> 00:20:15,863
If you tickle us,
do we not laugh?

427
00:20:15,887 --> 00:20:18,983
If you poison us, do we not die?

428
00:20:19,007 --> 00:20:22,263
And if you wrong us,
shall we not revenge?

429
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:25,063
Actually, Mr Shakespeare...

430
00:20:25,087 --> 00:20:26,783
Actually, Mr Shakespeare,

431
00:20:26,807 --> 00:20:29,943
it is quite difficult to get the
required gravitas doing it Dutch.

432
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:32,703
Yeah, and the clogs are going to
make a terrible racket on the stage!

433
00:20:32,727 --> 00:20:34,103
Also, it strikes me that,

434
00:20:34,127 --> 00:20:36,463
if you still want to
set the play in Venice,

435
00:20:36,487 --> 00:20:37,863
that doesn't work either.

436
00:20:37,887 --> 00:20:39,543
The Venetians
don't hate the Dutch.

437
00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:43,063
In fact, Holland's maritime success
has made them trading partners.

438
00:20:43,087 --> 00:20:45,063
Yeah, to be fair, Will,
this anti-Dutch thing

439
00:20:45,087 --> 00:20:46,423
is pretty recent,
even in Britain.

440
00:20:46,447 --> 00:20:48,103
I mean, they've been
our allies in the past.

441
00:20:48,127 --> 00:20:50,343
People only hate the
Dutch at the moment.

442
00:20:50,367 --> 00:20:51,943
Damn! You're right.

443
00:20:51,967 --> 00:20:56,863
If I'm to create a timeless classic, I
need a group that everybody persecutes,

444
00:20:56,887 --> 00:20:58,103
a people who truly encapsulate

445
00:20:58,127 --> 00:21:01,623
the eternal nature of
ignorant prejudice and bigotry.

446
00:21:01,647 --> 00:21:03,023
But who can it be?

447
00:21:03,047 --> 00:21:04,401
A ginge?

448
00:21:06,847 --> 00:21:10,023
Yes, Bottom. Absolutely,
a ginge would be perfect.

449
00:21:10,047 --> 00:21:12,703
Carrot Top, the ginger
moneylender of Venice.

450
00:21:12,727 --> 00:21:14,503
The play will write itself.

451
00:21:14,527 --> 00:21:16,703
Except, hang on,
there is one thing -

452
00:21:16,727 --> 00:21:17,983
the Queen's a ginge.

453
00:21:18,007 --> 00:21:19,543
Mr Shakespeare,

454
00:21:19,567 --> 00:21:22,223
we can avoid the
obvious no longer.

455
00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:26,143
We seek a people who are
universally vilified and despised.

456
00:21:26,167 --> 00:21:28,423
There can be only one contender.

457
00:21:28,447 --> 00:21:30,358
Of course, a Scot!

458
00:21:31,807 --> 00:21:34,103
Don't be ridiculous,
Mr Shakespeare.

459
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,063
How can anyone
dislike the Scots?

460
00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:39,343
They are perfect in every
way, as they keep telling us.

461
00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:41,823
Think about it, Mr Shakespeare.

462
00:21:41,847 --> 00:21:44,103
What we've learned from
the riots here in London

463
00:21:44,127 --> 00:21:46,023
is that people
blame their troubles

464
00:21:46,047 --> 00:21:48,423
on any convenient
minority living amongst them,

465
00:21:48,447 --> 00:21:50,383
and there's one group of people

466
00:21:50,407 --> 00:21:53,143
who are always in the
minority wherever they go.

467
00:21:53,167 --> 00:21:56,762
It's time for another
big Jew play.

468
00:22:00,287 --> 00:22:02,823
I am to give my Jew once more.

469
00:22:02,847 --> 00:22:05,343
Oh, joy! Oh, joy!

470
00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:07,183
I shall have a new
prop nose built -

471
00:22:07,207 --> 00:22:09,663
huge and hooked and warty.

472
00:22:09,687 --> 00:22:12,823
And I shall hiss
and lurk and prowl.

473
00:22:12,847 --> 00:22:17,103
And I'L have a stock of prop babies
hidden beneath my black, sinister gown,

474
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:19,903
from which I shall
drink stage blood!

475
00:22:19,927 --> 00:22:24,303
Mr Burbage, the character is supposed
to be at least partially sympathetic.

476
00:22:24,327 --> 00:22:27,023
Sympathetic Jew?
Ha! Are you mad?!

477
00:22:27,047 --> 00:22:29,943
Such a thing has ne'er been
known in all European culture.

478
00:22:29,967 --> 00:22:31,943
That's what's going to
make the play so memorable.

479
00:22:31,967 --> 00:22:36,063
Oh, so do you think I should tone
down the baby blood-drinking bit or...?

480
00:22:36,087 --> 00:22:37,983
Yes, well, that's
kinda the point.

481
00:22:38,007 --> 00:22:41,223
We're trying to rewrite the
rules a bit on stage Jews here.

482
00:22:41,247 --> 00:22:43,703
Speaking of which, all
this "do we not bleed" stuff,

483
00:22:43,727 --> 00:22:45,383
as if they're the same as us,

484
00:22:45,407 --> 00:22:47,503
I presume you want me
to play that for laughs.

485
00:22:47,527 --> 00:22:49,543
- Laughs? - Yes, it's a joke.

486
00:22:49,567 --> 00:22:51,703
Obviously, Jews are
not the same as us.

487
00:22:51,727 --> 00:22:54,063
They are a wicked,
naughty people.

488
00:22:54,087 --> 00:22:57,503
They drink the blood of Christian
babies and they poison Christian wells.

489
00:22:57,527 --> 00:23:00,303
They deliberately created and
spread bubonic plague - fact.

490
00:23:00,327 --> 00:23:03,903
But have you ever actually
seen any of these things?

491
00:23:03,927 --> 00:23:06,383
Are you suggesting
all this stuff is made up?

492
00:23:06,407 --> 00:23:07,703
Well, you have to wonder.

493
00:23:07,727 --> 00:23:11,023
I mean, they're supposed to secretly
run the world for their own advantage.

494
00:23:11,047 --> 00:23:14,983
Well, if that's true, quite frankly,
they're not doing much of a job, are they?

495
00:23:15,007 --> 00:23:18,103
I mean, they get hounded, beaten
and murdered wherever they go.

496
00:23:18,127 --> 00:23:20,503
Hath not a Jew eyes?

497
00:23:20,527 --> 00:23:24,023
Hath not a Jew hands, organs,

498
00:23:24,047 --> 00:23:28,543
dimensions, senses,
affections, passions?

499
00:23:28,567 --> 00:23:30,623
Fed with the same food,

500
00:23:30,647 --> 00:23:33,183
hurt with the same weapons,

501
00:23:33,207 --> 00:23:35,383
subject to the same diseases,

502
00:23:35,407 --> 00:23:37,303
healed by the same means,

503
00:23:37,327 --> 00:23:42,606
warmed and cooled by the same
winter and summer as a Christian is?

504
00:23:43,767 --> 00:23:46,503
If you prick us,
do we not bleed?

505
00:23:46,527 --> 00:23:49,583
If you tickle us,
do we not laugh?

506
00:23:49,607 --> 00:23:52,679
If you poison us, do we not die?

507
00:23:54,047 --> 00:23:58,640
And if you wrong us,
shall we not revenge?

508
00:24:00,127 --> 00:24:03,943
Mr Burbage, Wolf
Hall must play the Jew!

509
00:24:03,967 --> 00:24:05,703
I'm sorry, that's impossible.

510
00:24:05,727 --> 00:24:07,703
I, Burbage, always
play the title role.

511
00:24:07,727 --> 00:24:10,583
Oh, well, that's all right,
then. The title role is Antonio.

512
00:24:10,607 --> 00:24:14,023
- Antonio?
- Yes, Antonio is the merchant of Venice.

513
00:24:14,047 --> 00:24:17,005
- Really?
- No-one's ever going to get that. Ever.

514
00:24:18,847 --> 00:24:22,663
For evermore, people will presume
Shylock is the merchant of Venice.

515
00:24:22,687 --> 00:24:24,103
Well, he isn't. Antonio is.

516
00:24:24,127 --> 00:24:28,543
Very well, then I
shall give my Antonio.

517
00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:30,903
And Mr Hall will play the Jew,

518
00:24:30,927 --> 00:24:34,503
my most startlingly
nuanced creation to date.

519
00:24:34,527 --> 00:24:36,383
A villainous
character, of course,

520
00:24:36,407 --> 00:24:39,263
but also with human
emotions and even nobility.

521
00:24:39,287 --> 00:24:41,623
Wolf Hall, it is an honour
to have you in my play.

522
00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,343
Yes, it is.

523
00:24:43,367 --> 00:24:47,663
Oh, although, of
course, it isn't your play.

524
00:24:47,687 --> 00:24:48,823
Not my play?

525
00:24:48,847 --> 00:24:50,263
You didn't write it.

526
00:24:50,287 --> 00:24:51,863
Nor indeed any of your plays.

527
00:24:51,887 --> 00:24:54,223
- What?
- "Twas another scribe, I'm certain.

528
00:24:54,247 --> 00:24:55,783
A posh boy, no doubt?

529
00:24:55,807 --> 00:24:58,703
Didn't write my
plays? That's insane!

530
00:24:58,727 --> 00:25:01,343
Burbage, Condell,
Kempe, back me up here.

531
00:25:01,367 --> 00:25:02,823
Well, of course!

532
00:25:02,847 --> 00:25:05,183
But now it's been said, Will,

533
00:25:05,207 --> 00:25:06,823
it's hard to get
out of your mind.

534
00:25:06,847 --> 00:25:07,983
I mean, innit weird?

535
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:10,943
We've seen you write bits of them,
but now doubt's been put in my mind,

536
00:25:10,967 --> 00:25:12,343
um, you know...

537
00:25:12,367 --> 00:25:15,703
I can't help wondering if all
that proof is actually evidence

538
00:25:15,727 --> 00:25:17,863
of a vast conspiracy
to hide the truth.

539
00:25:17,887 --> 00:25:20,196
That you... did not...

540
00:25:21,367 --> 00:25:22,926
write your plays.

541
00:25:24,287 --> 00:25:25,743
Shut up!

542
00:25:25,767 --> 00:25:27,503
Shut up, stop saying it!

543
00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:29,503
By St Thomas's tiny testicles,

544
00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:32,343
the more you say it, the
more I must needs debunk it,

545
00:25:32,367 --> 00:25:36,183
yet the very process of debunking
it lends credibility to the lie.

546
00:25:36,207 --> 00:25:39,543
Get out! I ban you
from my plays forever.

547
00:25:39,567 --> 00:25:42,103
You can go and do
panto in the provinces.

548
00:25:42,127 --> 00:25:43,720
How very rude!

549
00:25:45,327 --> 00:25:47,398
I was only expressing
reasonable doubt.

550
00:25:54,287 --> 00:25:56,927
The actor Wolf Hall
bids you goodbye.

551
00:25:58,287 --> 00:26:01,903
Well, Will, looks like you're
in need of a stage Jew.

552
00:26:01,927 --> 00:26:04,503
Shylock is still not
the title role, Burbage.

553
00:26:04,527 --> 00:26:06,503
The merchant of
Venice is Antonio.

554
00:26:06,527 --> 00:26:10,122
Will, believe me, no-one is
ever, ever going to get that.

555
00:26:12,287 --> 00:26:13,423
Argh!

556
00:26:13,447 --> 00:26:15,623
If you prick us,
do we not bleed?

557
00:26:15,647 --> 00:26:18,143
If you poison us, do we not die?

558
00:26:18,167 --> 00:26:23,023
And if you wrong us,
shall we not revenge?!

559
00:26:23,047 --> 00:26:27,423
Oy vey, oy vey, oy vey... Argh!

560
00:26:30,607 --> 00:26:32,983
Looks like promoting
tolerance and understanding

561
00:26:33,007 --> 00:26:35,463
might be a bit of a bigger
project than we thought.

562
00:26:35,487 --> 00:26:36,823
Yes, Mr Shakespeare.

563
00:26:36,847 --> 00:26:38,903
I fear it may be a long time

564
00:26:38,927 --> 00:26:42,943
before the play's message of inclusiveness
and tolerance finds an audience.

565
00:26:42,967 --> 00:26:45,783
Actually, I'm not so sure. My
daughter Susanna has asked

566
00:26:45,807 --> 00:26:48,783
if she might use a passage
from it as a teaching aid.

567
00:26:48,807 --> 00:26:50,605
Settle down!

568
00:26:51,967 --> 00:26:54,583
As you know, my dad's famous,

569
00:26:54,607 --> 00:26:57,063
and he's given me one of
his speeches to be recited

570
00:26:57,087 --> 00:27:00,303
for the next village gladsome
gadabout, to raise money for the school.

571
00:27:00,327 --> 00:27:04,303
And I have chosen
one of you to recite it.

572
00:27:04,327 --> 00:27:06,663
Up you get, Rodney.

573
00:27:12,927 --> 00:27:14,943
Hath I not eyes?

574
00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:20,023
Have I not hands, organs,
dimensions, senses,

575
00:27:20,047 --> 00:27:22,703
affections, passions?

576
00:27:22,727 --> 00:27:26,343
Fed with the same food,

577
00:27:26,367 --> 00:27:30,423
hurt with the same weapons?

578
00:27:30,447 --> 00:27:32,863
If you prick me, do I not bleed?

579
00:27:32,887 --> 00:27:36,863
If you tickle me,
do I not laugh?

580
00:27:36,887 --> 00:27:39,117
If you poison me, do I not die?

581
00:27:45,167 --> 00:27:46,521
Nice one, Rodney.

582
00:27:51,927 --> 00:27:54,743
There's some lovely
stuff in that play, will.

583
00:27:54,767 --> 00:27:58,103
And those lines Rodney
said, they were beautiful.

584
00:27:58,127 --> 00:28:01,903
And of course it represents a
game-changing moment in world culture.

585
00:28:01,927 --> 00:28:03,023
You think?

586
00:28:03,047 --> 00:28:04,183
Oh, no doubt about it.

587
00:28:04,207 --> 00:28:07,343
In creating the world's first
slightly sympathetic Jew,

588
00:28:07,367 --> 00:28:09,503
I have set humanity upon a path

589
00:28:09,527 --> 00:28:11,023
which must lead inevitably

590
00:28:11,047 --> 00:28:15,743
to a world of universal tolerance,
peace, love and understanding.

591
00:28:15,767 --> 00:28:17,183
I am literally that good.

592
00:28:17,207 --> 00:28:18,959
Course you are, love.

593
00:28:20,527 --> 00:28:23,383
Do you know, I don't think
your hair's receding at all.

594
00:28:23,407 --> 00:28:24,583
Really, my sweet?

595
00:28:24,607 --> 00:28:25,783
That's encouraging.

596
00:28:25,807 --> 00:28:27,143
No, what's happened is...

597
00:28:27,167 --> 00:28:28,521
your head's got bigger.