IAIN STIRLING: The Euros are underway
which means a month of "sock-er".
RONNIE YELLS
Is it a sock? Yeah. Oh, it's a bit of fun!
The players have been training... Never!
# Yeah, I'm coming in hot... #
..the team selections have been made...
Come here, you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
..and the substitutes are already on the pitch.
SQUEALING AND LAUGHTER
# I'm coming in hot... #
CHEERING
The competition is getting fierce.
This is how it's done. What?
# Yeah, I'm coming in hot... #
In a tournament like this there is no room for divided loyalties...
Nah, we don't want it! Full stop.
..or players taking dives.
SHE YELPS
# You're gonna love me... #
LAUGHTER
Things are coming to a head.
SHE GROANS, SHE LAUGHS
HE GROWLS,
# Yeah, I'm coming in hot. #
This is Love Island: Unseen Bits.
What's happening? You all right? You're looking reem an' that.
Before we start the show,
Maya has a message for the Islanders,
but she's back in London, so she only had one way of contacting them.
A menace is descending upon the villa.
It is the stuff of nightmares.
Yes, the bats are coming!
What is it?!
SHE GASPS, HE YELPS
They're everywhere, by the way. Ugh!
That's not the first one you've seen?
I felt it on my hand then as well.
SHE SCREAMS It's on your head!
They're literally everywhere.
Welcome to Love Island: Unseen Bats.
# We, we ain't here for long, oh-oh
# So tell me what the hell We doing it for? #
This show exercises a right to bring you
endorphin-packed exclusives...
You calling! APPLAUSE
..from the last heart pumping week in the Villa.
in the villa.
HE LAUGHS
So let's get ready for action...
Squat, squat, squat. Squat, squat, squat.
..and settle in for an hour of explosive unseen footage.
Who's farted? Nah, that's disgusting, that.
That's vile.
So come fly with us, as we look at things from all angles,
and show you another side to our Islanders.
Go! She's... No, no, no, no.
Oh, you sort of knew it! We smashed it.
She dropped me. Oh!
Back in the old days, there was an unspoken arrangement
between me and the Islanders -
they'd lounge around the villa looking sexy, and I'd do the jokes.
Everyone was happy, but not any more!
Judging by this unseen clip, these days,
everyone's a flaming comedian.
That's an O. Yeah? What's that?
It's a weirdo. But why is that weirdo?
Look what he's doing. It's weird, innit?
Oh! THEY LAUGH
Fuck sake. I was literally, like, erm...
All right, I'll give you another one.
Right, go, go, go.
# Duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh Duh-duh-duh, duh. #
What's that? A clown. Headband.
DRUM STING That's good.
Here on the show, we think of ourselves as whistleblowers,
leaking the most exclusive unseen action to you, the people.
Like this.
I had, like, frog bed covers, I had frog gnomes.
What?! I love frogs. They're weird.
I used to have these little frogs and they went like this.
What, like, statue ones? Yeah, statue ones.
Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like that.
Yeah, I actually have real frogs, though.
Yeah, that's so sick. They was from Birmingham.
Why were they from Birmingham? I don't know.
Why couldn't you get them from Essex? They're very exotic.
You can't find 'em, so I think Birmingham,
a place in Birmingham had to ship them over from, like,
wherever they was from, the rainforest. Really?!
What the red tree ones? The red eye ones?
Yeah, red eye tree frogs.
And then I said, "Can I have three", yeah?
And then how did you get six? For two months, they built me
this sick, like, this sick rainforest, yeah?
Anyway, they come down and they brought six,
and I was like, well, like...
They were like, "Pick which ones you want",
but they was like, "We think you should take all of them."
Oh, take them all. There were three boys, three girls.
This rainforest used to go, shhhh.
It used to be sick, like, all, like, twice a day,
all storms and that, lights. It was sick. It was about that big.
How did they do that? Why was there storms?
Doesn't that distress the frogs? Nah, cos that's where they live.
They live in a rainforest. Yeah, they are used to it.
And then it got down to the last two... They need that.
And then the last two, yeah, they just...
One of them ate the other one, and then the other one just...
Ate the other one? Well, maybe, I dunno.
I don't know where it went. And then...
It's definitely in the other one's belly.
And then the other one just, honestly, it just disappeared.
Just disappeared?
And I promise you now, my mate was around there
looking through the jungle, like, looking for it. It was gone.
It was gone. Even till today, I always think,
"Where did that frog go?"
Do you like to yodel? What? Yodel.
What's that? You know when people go,
# Yodel-ay, yodel-ay, yodel-ay. # Oh, yeah.
JOEY ATTEMPTS TO YODEL
Can you do that? Can you do it?
IAIN ATTEMPTS TO YODEL
No, I can't do it. I've got a frog in my throat.
Actually, that might be one of Joey's.
Earlier this week, bombshell Omar looked like a bit of a loner,
sat on his own outside the Villa.
sat on his own outside the villa.
# London calling To the far-away towns. #
That was until Mimii spotted him while she was putting the bins out
and sat down for a quick date.
Giving Omar the chance to play his favourite game, guess the flag.
Give me a colour that's in your flag. Hm.
THEY LAUGH
That's the way I'm gonna get it. Red.
You won't get it from the flag. Maybe. Are you good with flags?
Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Red. OK, shall I just tell you?
Cos there's quite a few colours. Yeah, tell me three colours.
Erm, red, black, green.
Red, black, green.
Red, black, green? Are you sure? There's only a bit of red.
Shall I just tell you? No, I wanna get it.
OK, shall I give you the first letter? Yeah.
Z. Zimbabwe. Yeah!
Oh, is it? Code. Oh, my days.
No, but you had too many clues there.
No, that was, that was... that was perfectly fine.
Once inside the villa, our bombshell was flagging,
so decided to get his head down.
But it looks like he wasn't the only one
to have arrived in the villa that night.
How did that get in here?
It's...
Oh. Oh, oh. Oh!
Actually, scratch that, it's...
Oh!
Go. Ah. I keep missing him.
I hate bugs, bro.
Hello, hello. Don't come in here yet.
Whoa, it's hot in here.
Yeah. Where?
Actually, scratch that... SHE SCREAMS
..as it is...
What are you doing? What are YOU doing?
Why is it not going?
Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.
Get out. Get out.
Oh, I think it's gone, I think it's gone.
It's gone! Oh, my days.
SHE LAUGHS
Yeah, it's gone.
Sleep tight, hope the bedbugs don't bite.
Next up, here's a USB PB.
CIARAN:Right, let's get this pump on
and get massive here.
I'm gonna hit a PB in here now, boys.
All line up, I'm gonna bench you all.
JOEY:Do you wanna bench me? Right now?
All right, let's see how this goes, then.
Press-up like this, look.
And then you just have to go like that. Ready?
No, cross your legs, though. I will, I will, I will.
Trust me. That you think should...
Mate, this is wrong. Just come down to me.
JOEY STRAINS No, no.
LAUGHTER How do I get my...
No, you gotta go on your back, mate. Trust me.
But then you're gonna drop me, bruv. I won't drop you. I'm strong.
CIARAN GRUNTS
Fucking hell, mate.
Let me get... Argh! Wait.
Get off of my man! Ready? No, no, no.
I got you. You can't be too disproportionate.
LAUGHTER
No, no, no, no. That ain't working.
Mate, why are you so wriggly?!
Do you wanna do that one more time or not?
If youse hold me like this...
Yeah, lay down, we'll pick you up. Right, come on.
I'll get his feet, you get his hands.
Lay this way. This is dangerous, man.
Yeah, it's funny, though. Lay there, straight on the floor.
Oh, we're doing it like that, are we?
Ready? I want it here, boys.
I want it here. Be careful, be careful.
Right, ready? Mate, that's my fucking...
No, but... Go on.
No, no, help him out, first, though.
Help him out. Help him out. Get your balance.
That's it. 80kg right there, brother.
Go on, mate, that's quite good.
Nah, put him down a minute. MUNVEER LAUGHS
No, cos, like, all his weight's up on his body.
I can't...
You got a little pump on, there, though, ain't you?
Thought that would be light work. LAUGHTER
Finally, we've got the answer to the old question of,
"How many men does it take to bench press a Joey Essex?"
The success of Love Island
is all down to the hard work of the ITV HR department,
who make sure most of our Islanders
have a strong and diverse skill base.
There's our semi-professional sportsman,
our own Willy Wonka, a make-up artist, a dancer...
There you go, look! ..a celebrity reality TV star,
and a nurse.
CASUALTY THEME PLAYS
Ah... Hi, Nurse Mimii. Omar.
How are you? I'm great, thank you, how are you?
Yeah? Take a seat. Thank you.
Do you mind if I lie down?
Oh, lie down, whatever's comfy for you.
Whatever's comfy.
Right, tell me, how are you feeling?
I'm feeling quite blue. Blue?
Yeah. Mm. And you know what?
I just sat down and... Well, I laid down,
and my eyes were closed, and I opened my eyes,
and as I'm looking up, I'm seeing blue.
Wow. Yeah, yeah.
You're seeing blue?
I've got blue on my trainers as well.
Oh, you're seeing a lot of blue.
Yeah, so I've seen a lot of blue today. Yeah.
When I was getting ready earlier, I heard someone say Blue Peter.
Really? Yeah.
I heard someone say Blue Peter. Oh.
And I looked around, and there was no-one there.
We'll have to unpack this more.
I'm gonna book you in for another appointment later.
Oh, thank you so much. Yeah? And we'll see what we can do.
BLUE PETER THEME PLAYS
There is a sound that can strike fear
into the hearts of the Islanders.
TEXT ALERT
Already? I've got a text! SHE SIGHS
It can strike any time...
TEXT ALERT
"Mimii, you are now single."
..be it night...
TEXT ALERT Ooh, I've got a text!
What? Shit.
Fuck. Oh, for fuck's sake.
Nah, we don't want it.
..or day.
TEXT ALERT
I got a text! SCREAMING
She got text. Oh, fuck.
READS ALOUD
CHEERING
Come on!
# Birds of a feather We should stick together... #
Our two Welsh lovebirds left the villa
and headed down to a Majorcan beach
for their first date.
Well, Barry Island was a bit far.
Here are all the lush unseen bits you didn't get to see. Tidy.
It's nice to be here, isn't it? I was buzzing.
I was trying to be all cool,
as soon as you walked round the corner, I was like, "Yes!"
I was nervous straightaway. I felt sick.
A bit of the bubbly.
Don't shake it.
I'll try not to. No, don't.
No promises. You'll waste it all.
What do I do, then, just pull out? Yeah.
CORK POPS
Yay! It's gonna come out. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, oh, sh... SHE LAUGHS
Down it, fast. Cheers to a first date.
Yeah. Cheers to you looking lush as well.
SHE LAUGHS
And cheers to whatever comes. Yeah, cheers.
Cheers. That was nice.
Do you think your mam would like me?
Do I think my mam would like you? No, definitely not.
Nah, I'm joking.
I think, nah, you'd get along with her well.
Would I? Yeah, definitely.
She said to me before coming, she was like,
"You better get with a Welsh girl." Ah, did she?
Yeah, so she'll be glad I did now. Aw, that's nice.
I woke up this morning,
you were just like that, holding my hand.
I knew you were gonna say that. Given it the big one again, look.
It was nice. No, it was.
I couldn't believe it.
I woke up, I was like, "What, is this morning?"
I turned around, I was like, "Oh, my God."
I was still cwtching you, like.
Isn't it weird, though, like, everyone using the word "cuddle"
and we're still using...?
I know, cwtch. It's a cwtch. It's not a cuddle, it's a cwtch.
I've got Ronnie and Ayo on it. They're saying it now.
He says, "Oh, cool, you going for a cwtch?"
I'm like, "Yes, Ronnie." Welsh taking over the villa, like.
They'll all be speaking Welsh next now.
Yeah, I know. I taught them a few bits, like.
Can you speak much Welsh? No, not a lot.
Not at all? Say shwmae, like. Say hello.
SHE LAUGHS
But what a coincidence,
as there were two other Welsh lovebirds
enjoying a date on the beach.
It's nice, though, isn't there? Yeah, it's lush.
You wouldn't get water like that in Wales.
No, I know. Not like this.
All the water's brown, though. Yeah! Yeah.
I've got a massive family. I've got a huge family.
Massive family. Mine's huge. I'm all over.
I've got loads of cousins, loads of aunties, loads of uncles.
I'm literally all over South Wales, like.
Are you? Yeah.
I can't believe we've come all the way on here
and live 30 minutes away from each other. Yeah.
While Ciaran and Nicole hit it off,
Bryn and Blodwyn's date was taking a "tern" for the worse.
Blodwyn made an early flight back home,
leaving Bryn wondering if he'd ever find
another "gull-friend".
Before we go into a break,
Harriett and Patsy have got something
they really need to show us in the kitchen.
And I think we've just enough time..
Oh, no, I was wrong.
Come back after the break and find out...
# Ready or not
# Ready or not... #
On your marks! Get set! Goooo!
IAIN STIRLING: Welcome back to Love Island: Unseen Bits.
What did you just say, brother?
I said welcome back to Love Island: Unseen Bits.
The show that will shock you...
Oi! SCREAMING
..sock you... Smells of vinegar.
Is it a sock? Yeah. Chuck it here.
..keep you up to date with the latest news stories...
So, the Prime Minister is... Pfft. I don't know.
SAMANTHA:Who's our Prime Minister?
That's how mad it is. No-one even knows.
Who is it? I don't know. Oh, it's, erm... Ricky Sunak.
Who's that?
..and show you that the winds of change
are also blowing through the villa.
Have you just farted? Yeah, that was me.
Was it you? Fucking hell! THEY LAUGH
I feel sick. I can fucking tell!
Ick. Tell me about it, Ciaran.
My arse is sweating.
SAMANTHA: My arse cheeks are chafing.
BURPS Pardon me.
Before the break, Harriett and Patsy were strutting
through the villa on a mission, but here's what happened next.
Argh!
Oh, my God. UMA:Harriet's just decked it.
Harriett, are you all right? Girl...
LAUGHTER
PATSY:I tried to save you! That's hilarious.
I couldn't save you. Oh, my God.
Anyone else, like... It couldn't have been anyone else in the villa.
AYO:You sure, yeah?
We all know that Wales is the land of song
and that James Blunt is the greatest living singer-songwriter bar none.
So it was only matter of time before the two things came together,
as this unseen bit proves.
So, how do you say, er... you're beautiful in Welsh?
Erm... I don't actually know. Oh.
I know... What do I know? I know a few things. Like, erm...
"Ble wyt ti'n byw?" is "where do you live?"
"Dwi'n byw yn", "I live in... Aberdar."
Where do you live? Go on, say that again.
Dwi'n byw yn Aberdar. I live in Aberdare.
Dwi'n byw da-ba-dar. SHE LAUGHS
"Doom ba da ba." No. Dwi'n...
Dwi'n byw... Dwayne boo.
Dwayne bae. Dwi'n byw yn...
Dawyne boo-en.
Where do you live? Dawyne boo-en.
Where do you live, though? Where DO you live?
London, is it? London.
Oh, right, you're asking me. Dwi'n byw yn London.
Dwayne boo yn London. Dwayne boo yn London.
Dwi'n byw yn London. Er, what else do I know?
I know... Bore da. That's good morning. Bore da.
She's lying to you. That means small cock.
Bore da means good morning.
Good morning is "pidyn yn groth". No, it's not.
Bore da is good morning.
All right! You wanna say you've got a small cock, you do you, mate.
Told you. She's lying. Is that what it is?
It's actually not. I wouldn't do that to you.
HE LAUGHS What did you say?
Pidyn... Bidyn.
..yn groth. Bidyn an gloath.
No, it means "willy in vagina". LAUGHS
Next!
This week, we saw the Islanders playing balloon dares.
A pretty simple concept where they just had to pick up a balloon,
pop it in a sex position, and then read out a dare.
"Snog the Islander that you think is 100% your type on paper."
It led to a few tense moments and difficult decisions,
but apparently not as difficult as picking up the balloon
in the first place, as these unseen bits show.
Oh, how am I gonna get in here and get that? I'm too short.
BALLOON POPS It's popped!
Oh, fuck! See, it's hard!
THEY LAUGH
"Hiss at the Islander that has given you snakey vibes." Ohh!
Go on, Nicole.
It's got to be Harriett cos of the situation we were in.
THEY LAUGH
Honestly, the Islander with the snakey vibes hiss
didn't bother me at all.
I mean, I literally kissed Nicole's boyfriend,
so I was kind of expecting it. I would've hissed at me too.
SCREAMING
SONG: 'Push It!' by Salt-N-Pepa.
THEY LAUGH
# Ooh, baby, baby... #
"Have an arm wrestle with the Islander you see
"is your biggest competition." ALL:Oooh! Yes!
Ayo. ALL:Oooh!
Come on, G. Three, two, one.
SCREAMING
Go on, Ayo.
Never! Joey, go on!
He won't give in.
CHEERING
I just thought I'd let him have this one.
You know, Mr Essex gets it. 1-0.
I've got to get him back, so, yeah, I let him have that.
Don't ever, ever give up.
And that is exactly what I did tonight, with my weak arm.
APPLAUSE
# Watch me dance Dance the night away... #
In the villa, everyone takes dental hygiene very serious.
And I've been told the Islanders love to floss.
Can you floss? I can floss.
Oh, sorry, I completely misunderstood
what that VT was gonna be about.
How do you do that? You go in, out, swap.
In, out, swap. Oh, do you know what you've got to do first?
You've got to just master the... Not master it, but, like,
the left, right, right, and then just do the leg movement.
And then you start adding in a... adding in a hand.
Yeah, but you do the... No, it's not.
All right. I can do it. I can't do that.
Girls, girls, girls, back. This is how it's done. OK.
# Watch me dance Dance the night away
# My heart could be burning
# But you won't see it On my face... #
Stop with the flossing, I find it triggering!
Couldn't do it back in the day, and I can't do it now.
What's the secret to being a bit handsome reality TV icon
like Joey Essex?
It's easy! Always make sure you get your oats every morning.
I fell in love with it a long time ago.
And, erm, yeah, we've never fell out of love.
'I take proper pride in my porridge.'
# Crack that whip... #
I think porridge for me is the best meal of the day.
I'm gonna see what's going on, you know.
I mean, these are not the oats I buy at home.
I actually... Do you know what, I've my oats shipped here before.
Oh, is it? Yeah.
He proper likes to make sure that his oats are cooked
to a great standard, so he takes pride and joy in it,
which I respect him for that.
Yeah, they look all right. That's a good oat, you know.
Good. That's a good oat, cuz.
Believe me, if you want your oats
to be the best oats you've ever tried,
the reemest oats on the planet, you just need to keep whisking.
Yeah? Keep whipping, keep whipping, keep whipping...
# I say whip it... # ..keep whipping.
And then all of a sudden... # Whip it good... #
..you'll put your oats in the bowl, yeah?
Promise you, best oats you've ever tasted.
Where's Ciaran? You seen him? Is he in there?
I think he's inside, geez.
# When a problem comes along You must whip it
# Before the cream sits out too long
# When something's going wrong You must whip it... #
Ciaran. Do you want honey on it?
Oh, little bit, yeah. Go on, hold that. It's yours.
I've got... Oh, is it? Oh, that looks banging.
It's for you, bro.
Oh, lovely. Mm!
Thank you, mate. That's all right.
Have you not eaten it yet? I'm eating it now, mate. Chill!
I made it all fresh for you.
I run it out to you because it was still fresh.
It's still fresh now. It'll still be nice.
Mm, good consistency. Well done, mate.
That's good porridge. Good porridge. Good porridge.
# To whip it, whip it good. #
I am the porridge man.
No time to introduce this next clip, as I'm having a disaster.
I've lost my joke book. It's got all my killer dad gags in it.
I'm nothing without it! But I think I know who's stolen it.
Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
Oh, I love a mushroom joke. Go on. I don't know.
Sorry, out of time, and comedy is all about timing.
Find out why the mushroom had so many friends after the break.
IAIN STIRLING: Oh, look at our sleeping beauties.
So peaceful.
But you can't watch Unseen Bits with your eyes closed.
So wakey, wakey! We're back.
So, what's been happening during the break?
Sean has been keeping Jess at arm's length.
THEY CHEER
Someone spilt the tea.
Oh, for fuck's sake. Literally.
And Ronnie avoided a close shave.
I love to be clean shaven, but I'd look like Voldemort, bro.
Keep your eyes open
because you're not going to want to miss any of this.
You know when they always say
you end up dating somebody who looks like your siblings?
They look like siblings.
So do youse two. So do youse two.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was a reindeer.
You're just five seconds behind everything, aren't you?
Oh, it's been fun.
Before she was rudely interrupted by the break,
Uma was telling Munveer why the mushroom had so many friends.
Go on, then, Uma.
Cos he was a "fun-gi". Oh, no! Nah, it's supposed to be...
Oh, did I fuck it up?
Yeah. So, why did I invite the mushroom to the villa?
Why? Cos he was a "fun-gi".
That's good. That's good. OK.
You did it way better than me.
It is seems like the popularity of comedy in the villa
has "mushroomed".
Suddenly, everyone is a comedian.
Every creature of the animal kingdom
has its own unique form of communication.
Some make physical gestures,
while other use scent and sound to interact with their peers...
as Nicole seems to know all too well.
Men's group chats are bizarre. I know.
I don't think I ever want to read a man's group chat.
One of the boys in a group chat, in my group chat, yeah?
Apparently, they have, like, these farting things,
where they all fart.
Oh, my God, my sister's husband was in a farting group chat.
Yeah, see?
He got kicked out because he was putting too many in.
It's mental, isn't it? Yeah.
One of my boys told me to do that. I was like, "What?"
I've seen a TikTok of that.
What? Do they do it on voice record?
They're on WhatsApp.
My sister's husband got kicked out of a farting group chat
for sending too many.
That is vile. What? They voice note the fart?
Yeah.
Yeah, and they, like, rate the farts and that.
That is next-level rotten.
It's just, like, what are you doing with yourself?
I imagine knowing you're about to fart and being like,
"Oh, one second."
Like, yeah, you're loading one up. You know what I'm saying, like?
You've been waiting all day to send this into the group chat.
"Mine's coming in a bit, boys, I've got one brewing."
HE LAUGHS I've got one brewing.
What's the name of the group chat? I don't think Joey...
I've got a naughty fart chat. Shit goes on.
It's all top-secret shit in there bro.
I can't imagine you having a poo, Joey.
You're in one, Joey? I'm involved in one, yeah.
A farting group chat? Farting group chat, yeah.
But I obviously can't explain what's going on in there. But, yeah.
The first rule of fart club is don't talk about fart club.
FARTS
This week, the villa was completely consumed
by an obtuse amount of love triangles.
Someone's gonna get hurt. There's gonna be a triangle.
Don't do all that stuff, man. Yeah.
I don't do triangles, babe.
I'm in this... I hate the term of this fucking triangle thing.
That's what you've got going on right now, don't you, mate?
Like, I'm gonna call it an isosceles.
AYO LAUGHS
This isosceles. What you call the equilateral shape.
Yeah, whatever you want to call it.
I'm no triangle. I'm in a straight line.
In a straight-line?
And with me, Harriett, I don't know, like, I'm sick of these triangles.
And we've turned it into a square, haven't we?
And like all triangles, love triangles can be very pointed.
So Uma and Mimii sat down and attempted to square the circle.
Yoyo, do you wanna come for a chat?
Oh, shit. Oh, I'm gonna watch this.
Wait, let's get beanbags.
Yeah, let's get beanbags.
Can someone tell me what's going on? I've been inside.
Well, they've both called in for a chat at the same time.
I think this conversation is needed,
cos obviously, there's been a miscommunication.
I swear to God, I've tried my best to communicate.
Shh, shh, shh.
I bet our Islanders didn't pay this much attention to triangles
at geometry class at school.
Meanwhile, the only triangle Joey was bothered about was covered
in cheese and tomato sauce.
Ugh.
CRUNCHING
Shh.
The way that things have been moving in here,
it sort of just seems like you are, like, more about me.
CRUNCHING
Shh!
So this whole thing has just been blown out of portion, then?
Full stop.
CRUNCHING
Shut up.
I'm gonna go back to the kitchen. Is he taking the piss?
CRUNCHING
Oh, Joey, you're a real pizza whack.
The trick to comedy is understanding the rule of three,
and here is the third of my jokes that Munveer has stole
on this episode.
It's not funny.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose?
Voldemort.
THEY LAUGH
What do you call it?
"No-body nose".
DRUM STING
Oh, my God.
I got that one. You got that one?
Thank God for that.
Cheers. Tough crowd here.
Why did I kick the fun guy out of the villa?
Why? Cos it wasn't "my-shroom".
DRUM STING
Cos it wasn't "my-shroom"?
THEY LAUGH
That was... Did you just ping that off the top of your head?
Yeah. What?
Be careful, Munveer, too many mushroom jokes can get to your head.
And like all comedians, Munveer was about to face a very tough gig.
There was a double dumping in store, and it was no laughing matter.
But they didn't have "mush-room" in their cases.
Why don't you wear that waffle T-shirt?
I don't know, I just didn't get a chance.
I mean, if you wanna pass me the Prada glasses as well.
If you find it, you can keep it. Guys, have you packed?
You can have that blue and green dress.
Yay!
Oh, does anyone want that? Oh, I'll have anything.
Luckily, Nicole was there to lend a helping hand
by stealing all her "shii-takes".
I wouldn't bother checking, girls, she's foraged the lot.
The moral of the story is
don't make mushroom jokes that could be poison.
One thing's for sure, Patsy's bag isn't gonna be over 23kg in weight.
After the stress of Patsy and Munveer's dumping,
our Islanders were trying to relax
and restore some spiritual balance to the villa.
Put your hands out like this. Yeah.
No, cos your hand is on the wrong side. Go on, what?
So, you go like that, she makes you go like that,
and then you go like that. And then you twist and then... Yeah?
No, yeah, and then travel. Get your balance. Yeah.
How far do you go? Smashing it.
Have you never do animal stretching?
Go on, animal stretching. Well, what's your star sign?
Taurus. Taurus? What's that?
Lion, I think, innit? No, that's a Leo.
I'm a Leo. I think it's a cow. It's definitely not a cow.
What would a cow move be? I'll show you in a minute.
What's your one? I'm a Virgo.
What's the Virgo? That a goat? It's a goat, yeah.
Goat's are cool.
What?
Goat's are cool.
Go on.
What are you?
I'm a Scorpio. You're a Scorpio?
Are you? Legs in the air.
Have you done a scorpion stretch before?
Come on, let's do it.
Come on, show me, show me.
Oh, that's good, that, Joey.
It sorts your lower back out.
I can't even get off the floor. I've been eating too many waffles.
Yeah, that's a good one, that. Can you do the cow?
Milking a cow?
JOEY MOOS
THEY LAUGH
Oh, yeah, you've got to breathe out, haven't you?
Yeah, in and out.
JOEY MOOS
THEY LAUGH
No, they do that thing where they go like this.
JOEY MOOS
No, they bend their back. They bend their back and then they...
No, don't do it again.
JOEY MOOS
THEY LAUGH
One, and...
JOEY AND SEAN MOO
Some great "moo-ves" there.
MOOING
# Don't stop
# We've got the world looking in
# Our window. #
IAIN STIRLING: Welcome back to the final part
of Love Island: Unseen Bits.
Will I be dancing in the aisles?
Staff announcement, staff announcement.
Can Ronnie please go to aisle 36? Thank you.
If you haven't got a trolley, just improvise, like these guys,
and load up on great-value unseen exclusives.
Such a dick!
So put your feet up
for what is hands down the best unseen action on the market.
We even stock organic dental floss
made from 100% natural fibres.
Come and join us, Harriett.
I'm just using my hair to floss my teeth.
And the yellow bean bags are flying off the shells.
This week, there's been a dramatic twist.
DRAMATIC STING
All the Islanders have been dumped.
DRAMATIC STING
I'm only joking.
They were just playing a game which is a bit like hide and seek
but Ciaran calls it mob mob.
You've never played mob mob? What's that?
Have you ever played mob mob?
Over to Ciaran for the rules.
So, I'll go like this. I'll count, yeah?
And you all go and hide.
OK, got it.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
If I see you, I can just go "Mob mob, Ronnie."
Anything else?
So, you hide, and I come looking for you.
So it's just like hide and seek?
27, 28, 29, 30.
Mob mob, here I come.
You mean a bit like hide and seek?
And if you're gonna hide, make sure you cover your feet, Sean.
Mob mob, Sean.
Yeah, hide and seek, right?
If you're all hiding in the same place, and I see you all,
I can just say "mob mob, all."
I don't have to name all your names.
He's just making rules up as he goes.
He's literally doing that as he goes along.
The hiding places are good, you know.
Ugh!
You know the thing is, mate,
I'm from South Wales, innit.
Lot of patience. You can't go out because of the rain and everything.
So now it's just a waiting game.
Oh, fuck off!
Oh, you absolute...
Mob mob, Ayo.
Finally the whole mob mob got back together.
Tonight's Unseen Bits has been an education.
It's like the Open University.
And I'm pleased to announce Scouse is finally on the syllabus.
What's like a proper, like, Scouser thing that I can say?
You're on it. Huh? You're on it.
Are you on it? You on it?
Your honour?
Are you on it?
Are. You. On. It?
Are you on it? Yeah.
So, are you on it?
What's another Scouse word? A show.
If that's a show. You know what I mean?
A shell? A show.
A. Show.
So, like, dunno, someone could have a bikini on,
I'd go, "That's a show."
A show. A show.
I might just that saying some Scouser.
Or, "Eeeehhh."
That's the one that I need to get used to.
When I heard it yesterday, I was thinking, what is everybody doing?
Yeah, no, it's because of me. Iconic. Do you know what I mean?
You've set a little trend for yourself. Yeah!
Little old trend.
This week, Joey and Samantha were whisked off
on the second romantic date of the summer.
# I'm a tidal wave of question marks
# And you're just surfing... #
But back at the villa,
Samantha's date with the reality TV star Joey Essex
is the hot goss on everyone's lips.
Wonder how Joey and Samantha's date's going? I wonder.
I feel like I'm on a job interview.
It seems like that. With my hands like this.
Shall we role-play it?
You be Joey, and I'll be Samantha.
What did you do after school?
After school? I went down to Billy's fish market.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Did you like it? No.
I hated it. I hated stinking of fish.
Like, who does?
Did you do it full-time?
Well, did it for just under a year, I was there.
And then I was sacked.
What's happening, girl? You all right? You're looking reem.
How many fucking times have you used the word reem with other girls?
Just you, baby.
And after that, I worked up the city.
And then, yeah, got sacked from there.
All I've asked for is a cup of tea every morning
and for you to stick your 100% attention to me,
and not any other girl.
All I ask for is for you not to snore in my year every night.
Well, Joey, that's me.
So I'm gonna do what I want to fucking do. Right?
He called me outside and said, "What were you doing in the toilet?"
I said, "Nothing. The toilet."
He goes, "You were on the phone to someone."
I said, "Yeah, my girlfriend."
He said, "You're meant to be working."
I said, "Mate, you don't pay me." Yeah.
He sacked me.
I thought, "Cheeky geezer. How can you sack me? You don't even pay me."
Someone crunched a cookie in someone's pocket, the boss's pocket.
They tried blaming me. So I said, "fuck this."
They sacked me as well.
But you're looking reem. You're looking well buff and that.
Stop it!
Come here, you.
AS HIMSELF:Whoa, whoa, whoa! End scene.
IAIN: So, that's who crumbled the cookie in my pocket.
That's it, I'm writing a strongly worded letter to HR.
It's that time. It's Beach Hut Bonanza.
And this week, I asked our Islanders their celebrity crush.
Ooh, celebrity crush.
Oh, my gosh.
Famous rugby player.
No, just kidding.
Why can't I think of anyone?
Danny Dyer.
"All right, darling?"
Proper, like, Eastender.
Princess Jasmine.
I've always gone with Margot Robbie.
Margot Robbie.
Beautiful. Australian accent.
Blue eyes, blonde hair. It's literally my dream.
Wolf Of Wall Street.
Just watch it.
I'd probably say another crush would be Leonardo DiCaprio.
Leonardo DiCaprio.
But, like, young Leonardo DiCaprio.
If any girl says they don't fancy him
in the Wolf Of Wall Street, then they're lying.
Not 45-year-old Leo.
I would say Lorraine.
HE LAUGHS
Oh, my God. I can't believe I just said that.
Lorraine. From Lorraine, the morning show. You know?
Tom Hardy. Because he just is a bad boy.
Oh, Justin Bieber. I can't forget about Justin Bieber, obviously.
I was the biggest belieber ever when I was a kid.
Well, I say I was a kid. I weren't. I was in my teens. So embarrassing.
Theo James.
SHE SHRIEKS
He's just... I'm speechless watching him.
I'm literally speechless watching him.
Sir Tom Jones.
His voice!
Oh, if he could sing to me every single night before bed,
like, all my prayers would be answered.
The pink fish in Shark Tale.
Kim Possible.
I feel like watching growing up...
And I feel like that excited me.
Cheryl Cole, if you're out there, I'm here, darling.
Harry Styles, back in the day.
I used to read fictional novels that people wrote about him
and pretend it was about me.
Lightning McQueen from Cars.
He's just the best car, do you know what I mean?
He's just got the swag.
No judgement, guys, OK?
Because if you know, you know.
Donald Duck's girl.
What's Donald Duck's girl?
Mrs Duck?
I'm sure he had a little thing on the site.
Definitely the Incredible Hulk.
He's protective over women, muscle-y, got massive arms. Hmm!
When I was a little bit younger,
eating my Coco Pops after school,
I used to come in and watch Scooby Doo.
And Daphne.
Daphne. Woo!
AS SCOOBY DOO:Raggy Roo?
Thanks, honey.
Come back next week for some more:
Right, that's me done with Unseen Bits,
I'm ready to throw the towel in.
Like everyone else, by the look of it.
Let's get all the towels and stuff.
I wish there was, like, a wash bag for the towels,
cos there's just not enough room.
PINK PANTHER THEME PLAYS
The thing is...
I'm sorry to be... I just don't know where else to put these towers.
I'm gonna put them there. Makes it easier to clear them up.
It's a fucking mess everywhere.
It's just disgusting.
I'm gonna put them there, at least it makes it easier for everyone.
Right. It's a bit tidier, anyway.
Thanks, Jess.
See you all next time for more Unseen Bits!
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