1
00:00:05,010 --> 00:00:06,690
IAIN STIRLING:
The Euros are underway
2
00:00:06,730 --> 00:00:08,490
which means a month of "sock-er".
3
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:09,930
RONNIE YELLS
4
00:00:09,970 --> 00:00:12,490
Is it a sock? Yeah.
Oh, it's a bit of fun!
5
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:15,410
The players have been training...
Never!
6
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,370
# Yeah, I'm coming in hot... #
7
00:00:17,410 --> 00:00:19,610
..the team selections
have been made...
8
00:00:19,650 --> 00:00:21,170
Come here, you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
9
00:00:21,210 --> 00:00:22,770
..and the substitutes
are already on the pitch.
10
00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:26,330
SQUEALING AND LAUGHTER
11
00:00:26,370 --> 00:00:27,450
# I'm coming in hot... #
12
00:00:27,490 --> 00:00:29,450
CHEERING
13
00:00:29,490 --> 00:00:31,170
The competition is getting fierce.
14
00:00:31,210 --> 00:00:33,090
This is how it's done.
What?
15
00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:36,090
# Yeah, I'm coming in hot... #
16
00:00:36,130 --> 00:00:39,330
In a tournament like this there is
no room for divided loyalties...
17
00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:42,530
Nah, we don't want it!
Full stop.
18
00:00:42,570 --> 00:00:44,090
..or players taking dives.
19
00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:46,090
SHE YELPS
20
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:49,330
# You're gonna love me... #
21
00:00:49,370 --> 00:00:50,610
LAUGHTER
22
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:51,690
Things are coming to a head.
23
00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:53,330
SHE GROANS,
SHE LAUGHS
24
00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:57,250
HE GROWLS,
25
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,770
# Yeah, I'm coming in hot. #
26
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:04,690
This is Love Island: Unseen Bits.
27
00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:08,450
What's happening? You all right?
You're looking reem an' that.
28
00:01:23,810 --> 00:01:24,890
Before we start the show,
29
00:01:24,930 --> 00:01:27,650
Maya has a message
for the Islanders,
30
00:01:27,690 --> 00:01:34,050
but she's back in London, so she
only had one way of contacting them.
31
00:01:34,090 --> 00:01:37,090
A menace is descending upon
the villa.
32
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,250
It is the stuff of nightmares.
33
00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:43,090
Yes, the bats are coming!
34
00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:51,290
What is it?!
35
00:01:51,330 --> 00:01:53,410
SHE GASPS,
HE YELPS
36
00:01:53,450 --> 00:01:55,490
They're everywhere, by the way.
Ugh!
37
00:01:55,530 --> 00:01:57,810
That's not the first one
you've seen?
38
00:01:57,850 --> 00:01:59,090
I felt it on my hand then as well.
39
00:01:59,130 --> 00:02:01,210
SHE SCREAMS
It's on your head!
40
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,770
They're literally everywhere.
41
00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:07,450
Welcome to Love Island: Unseen Bats.
42
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,810
# We, we ain't here for long, oh-oh
43
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:21,850
# So tell me what the hell
We doing it for? #
44
00:02:21,890 --> 00:02:23,650
This show exercises
a right to bring you
45
00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:25,210
endorphin-packed exclusives...
46
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:27,850
You calling!
APPLAUSE
47
00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:31,610
..from the last heart pumping week
in the Villa.
48
00:02:31,650 --> 00:02:33,210
in the villa.
49
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:34,210
HE LAUGHS
50
00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:35,330
So let's get ready for action...
51
00:02:35,370 --> 00:02:37,970
Squat, squat, squat.
Squat, squat, squat.
52
00:02:38,010 --> 00:02:41,290
..and settle in for an hour
of explosive unseen footage.
53
00:02:41,330 --> 00:02:42,810
Who's farted?
Nah, that's disgusting, that.
54
00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:45,450
That's vile.
55
00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:49,890
So come fly with us, as we look
at things from all angles,
56
00:02:49,930 --> 00:02:54,970
and show you another side
to our Islanders.
57
00:02:55,010 --> 00:02:58,010
Go!
She's... No, no, no, no.
58
00:02:58,050 --> 00:03:01,370
Oh, you sort of knew it!
We smashed it.
59
00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:05,330
She dropped me.
Oh!
60
00:03:09,530 --> 00:03:11,290
Back in the old days,
there was an unspoken arrangement
61
00:03:11,330 --> 00:03:15,210
between me and the Islanders -
62
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:17,410
they'd lounge around the villa
looking sexy, and I'd do the jokes.
63
00:03:17,450 --> 00:03:20,610
Everyone was happy,
but not any more!
64
00:03:20,650 --> 00:03:21,890
Judging by this unseen clip,
these days,
65
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:24,250
everyone's a flaming comedian.
66
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,170
That's an O.
Yeah? What's that?
67
00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:29,490
It's a weirdo.
But why is that weirdo?
68
00:03:29,530 --> 00:03:31,570
Look what he's doing.
It's weird, innit?
69
00:03:31,610 --> 00:03:34,170
Oh!
THEY LAUGH
70
00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:36,570
Fuck sake.
I was literally, like, erm...
71
00:03:36,610 --> 00:03:37,770
All right,
I'll give you another one.
72
00:03:37,810 --> 00:03:38,810
Right, go, go, go.
73
00:03:38,850 --> 00:03:41,290
# Duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh
Duh-duh-duh, duh. #
74
00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:44,290
What's that?
A clown. Headband.
75
00:03:44,330 --> 00:03:46,850
DRUM STING
That's good.
76
00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:56,370
Here on the show, we think
of ourselves as whistleblowers,
77
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:59,850
leaking the most exclusive
unseen action to you, the people.
78
00:03:59,890 --> 00:04:02,130
Like this.
79
00:04:02,170 --> 00:04:05,650
I had, like, frog bed covers,
I had frog gnomes.
80
00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:08,450
What?!
I love frogs. They're weird.
81
00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:11,330
I used to have these little frogs
and they went like this.
82
00:04:11,370 --> 00:04:13,210
What, like, statue ones?
Yeah, statue ones.
83
00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,890
Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They were like that.
84
00:04:14,930 --> 00:04:16,650
Yeah, I actually have real frogs,
though.
85
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,410
Yeah, that's so sick.
They was from Birmingham.
86
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:20,010
Why were they from Birmingham?
I don't know.
87
00:04:20,050 --> 00:04:21,930
Why couldn't you get them
from Essex? They're very exotic.
88
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,330
You can't find 'em,
so I think Birmingham,
89
00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:25,610
a place in Birmingham
had to ship them over from, like,
90
00:04:25,650 --> 00:04:27,210
wherever they was from,
the rainforest. Really?!
91
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:28,570
What the red tree ones?
The red eye ones?
92
00:04:28,610 --> 00:04:29,570
Yeah, red eye tree frogs.
93
00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:30,970
And then I said,
"Can I have three", yeah?
94
00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:32,770
And then how did you get six?
For two months, they built me
95
00:04:32,810 --> 00:04:34,290
this sick, like,
this sick rainforest, yeah?
96
00:04:34,330 --> 00:04:36,330
Anyway, they come down
and they brought six,
97
00:04:36,370 --> 00:04:37,650
and I was like, well, like...
98
00:04:37,690 --> 00:04:39,370
They were like,
"Pick which ones you want",
99
00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:41,170
but they was like, "We think
you should take all of them."
100
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:43,010
Oh, take them all.
There were three boys, three girls.
101
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,130
This rainforest used to go, shhhh.
102
00:04:44,170 --> 00:04:45,730
It used to be sick, like,
all, like, twice a day,
103
00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:48,930
all storms and that, lights.
It was sick. It was about that big.
104
00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:50,250
How did they do that?
Why was there storms?
105
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,450
Doesn't that distress the frogs?
Nah, cos that's where they live.
106
00:04:52,490 --> 00:04:54,650
They live in a rainforest.
Yeah, they are used to it.
107
00:04:54,690 --> 00:04:56,330
And then it got down to
the last two... They need that.
108
00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:57,690
And then the last two, yeah,
they just...
109
00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,650
One of them ate the other one,
and then the other one just...
110
00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:01,850
Ate the other one?
Well, maybe, I dunno.
111
00:05:01,890 --> 00:05:03,930
I don't know where it went.
And then...
112
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,450
It's definitely in
the other one's belly.
113
00:05:05,490 --> 00:05:07,410
And then the other one just,
honestly, it just disappeared.
114
00:05:07,450 --> 00:05:08,450
Just disappeared?
115
00:05:08,490 --> 00:05:09,890
And I promise you now,
my mate was around there
116
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,970
looking through the jungle,
like, looking for it. It was gone.
117
00:05:12,010 --> 00:05:13,410
It was gone.
Even till today, I always think,
118
00:05:13,450 --> 00:05:14,490
"Where did that frog go?"
119
00:05:14,530 --> 00:05:15,610
Do you like to yodel?
What? Yodel.
120
00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:17,410
What's that?
You know when people go,
121
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:20,050
# Yodel-ay, yodel-ay, yodel-ay. #
Oh, yeah.
122
00:05:20,090 --> 00:05:21,290
JOEY ATTEMPTS TO YODEL
123
00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:22,450
Can you do that? Can you do it?
124
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,850
IAIN ATTEMPTS TO YODEL
125
00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:27,490
No, I can't do it.
I've got a frog in my throat.
126
00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:30,010
Actually,
that might be one of Joey's.
127
00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:41,570
Earlier this week, bombshell Omar
looked like a bit of a loner,
128
00:05:41,610 --> 00:05:45,330
sat on his own outside the Villa.
129
00:05:45,370 --> 00:05:46,490
sat on his own outside the villa.
130
00:05:46,530 --> 00:05:48,650
# London calling
To the far-away towns. #
131
00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:50,850
That was until Mimii spotted him
while she was putting the bins out
132
00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:52,650
and sat down for a quick date.
133
00:05:52,690 --> 00:05:56,370
Giving Omar the chance to play
his favourite game, guess the flag.
134
00:05:56,410 --> 00:05:58,450
Give me a colour
that's in your flag. Hm.
135
00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:00,490
THEY LAUGH
136
00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:04,810
That's the way I'm gonna get it.
Red.
137
00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:07,930
You won't get it from the flag.
Maybe. Are you good with flags?
138
00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:11,170
Yeah. Yeah, a little bit.
Red. OK, shall I just tell you?
139
00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:13,530
Cos there's quite a few colours.
Yeah, tell me three colours.
140
00:06:13,570 --> 00:06:18,970
Erm, red, black, green.
141
00:06:19,010 --> 00:06:23,130
Red, black, green.
142
00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:27,250
Red, black, green? Are you sure?
There's only a bit of red.
143
00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:29,610
Shall I just tell you?
No, I wanna get it.
144
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,010
OK, shall I give you
the first letter? Yeah.
145
00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:33,650
Z.
Zimbabwe. Yeah!
146
00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:36,250
Oh, is it? Code. Oh, my days.
147
00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:38,410
No, but you had
too many clues there.
148
00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:42,210
No, that was, that was...
that was perfectly fine.
149
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:45,130
Once inside the villa,
our bombshell was flagging,
150
00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:48,930
so decided to get his head down.
151
00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:51,850
But it looks like
he wasn't the only one
152
00:06:51,890 --> 00:06:53,130
to have arrived in the villa
that night.
153
00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:54,530
How did that get in here?
154
00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:56,410
It's...
155
00:06:56,450 --> 00:07:04,210
Oh. Oh, oh. Oh!
156
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:07,450
Actually, scratch that, it's...
157
00:07:12,770 --> 00:07:15,730
Oh!
158
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:19,330
Go. Ah. I keep missing him.
159
00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:23,730
I hate bugs, bro.
160
00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:25,610
Hello, hello.
Don't come in here yet.
161
00:07:25,650 --> 00:07:26,890
Whoa, it's hot in here.
162
00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:29,530
Yeah.
Where?
163
00:07:29,570 --> 00:07:31,050
Actually, scratch that...
SHE SCREAMS
164
00:07:31,090 --> 00:07:33,170
..as it is...
165
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:39,050
What are you doing?
What are YOU doing?
166
00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:42,210
Why is it not going?
167
00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:43,570
Get out, get out, get out,
get out, get out.
168
00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:46,850
Get out. Get out.
169
00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:48,170
Oh, I think it's gone,
I think it's gone.
170
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,890
It's gone!
Oh, my days.
171
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:52,210
SHE LAUGHS
172
00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,890
Yeah, it's gone.
173
00:07:54,930 --> 00:07:57,810
Sleep tight,
hope the bedbugs don't bite.
174
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:07,170
Next up, here's a USB PB.
175
00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:08,570
CIARAN:Right,
let's get this pump on
176
00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:09,970
and get massive here.
177
00:08:10,010 --> 00:08:11,410
I'm gonna hit a PB in here now,
boys.
178
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,130
All line up,
I'm gonna bench you all.
179
00:08:13,170 --> 00:08:15,690
JOEY:Do you wanna bench me?
Right now?
180
00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:19,810
All right,
let's see how this goes, then.
181
00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:21,330
Press-up like this, look.
182
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,770
And then you just have to go
like that. Ready?
183
00:08:22,810 --> 00:08:24,690
No, cross your legs, though.
I will, I will, I will.
184
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:25,970
Trust me.
That you think should...
185
00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:27,330
Mate, this is wrong.
Just come down to me.
186
00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:28,570
JOEY STRAINS
No, no.
187
00:08:28,610 --> 00:08:30,650
LAUGHTER
How do I get my...
188
00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:32,130
No, you gotta go on your back, mate.
Trust me.
189
00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:35,090
But then you're gonna drop me, bruv.
I won't drop you. I'm strong.
190
00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:37,010
CIARAN GRUNTS
191
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:40,290
Fucking hell, mate.
192
00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:43,010
Let me get...
Argh! Wait.
193
00:08:43,050 --> 00:08:45,450
Get off of my man!
Ready? No, no, no.
194
00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:48,250
I got you.
You can't be too disproportionate.
195
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:52,810
LAUGHTER
196
00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:53,970
No, no, no, no. That ain't working.
197
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:56,930
Mate, why are you so wriggly?!
198
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,690
Do you wanna do that
one more time or not?
199
00:08:58,730 --> 00:08:59,770
If youse hold me like this...
200
00:08:59,810 --> 00:09:02,850
Yeah, lay down, we'll pick you up.
Right, come on.
201
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,050
I'll get his feet,
you get his hands.
202
00:09:04,090 --> 00:09:05,810
Lay this way.
This is dangerous, man.
203
00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:08,650
Yeah, it's funny, though.
Lay there, straight on the floor.
204
00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:10,490
Oh, we're doing it like that,
are we?
205
00:09:10,530 --> 00:09:12,290
Ready?
I want it here, boys.
206
00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:14,210
I want it here.
Be careful, be careful.
207
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:15,610
Right, ready?
Mate, that's my fucking...
208
00:09:15,650 --> 00:09:18,090
No, but...
Go on.
209
00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:19,930
No, no, help him out, first, though.
210
00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:22,010
Help him out. Help him out.
Get your balance.
211
00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:25,210
That's it.
80kg right there, brother.
212
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:28,650
Go on, mate, that's quite good.
213
00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:31,370
Nah, put him down a minute.
MUNVEER LAUGHS
214
00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:34,730
No, cos, like,
all his weight's up on his body.
215
00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:36,810
I can't...
216
00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:38,690
You got a little pump on, there,
though, ain't you?
217
00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:43,530
Thought that would be light work.
LAUGHTER
218
00:09:43,570 --> 00:09:45,610
Finally, we've got the answer
to the old question of,
219
00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:48,770
"How many men does it take
to bench press a Joey Essex?"
220
00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:56,610
The success of Love Island
221
00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:59,530
is all down to the hard work
of the ITV HR department,
222
00:09:59,570 --> 00:10:00,770
who make sure most of our Islanders
223
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:03,890
have a strong
and diverse skill base.
224
00:10:03,930 --> 00:10:05,370
There's our
semi-professional sportsman,
225
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:11,130
our own Willy Wonka,
a make-up artist, a dancer...
226
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:14,650
There you go, look!
..a celebrity reality TV star,
227
00:10:14,690 --> 00:10:17,770
and a nurse.
228
00:10:17,810 --> 00:10:22,210
CASUALTY THEME PLAYS
229
00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:35,610
Ah... Hi, Nurse Mimii.
Omar.
230
00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:37,570
How are you?
I'm great, thank you, how are you?
231
00:10:37,610 --> 00:10:40,290
Yeah? Take a seat.
Thank you.
232
00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:41,690
Do you mind if I lie down?
233
00:10:41,730 --> 00:10:43,770
Oh, lie down,
whatever's comfy for you.
234
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:49,530
Whatever's comfy.
235
00:10:49,570 --> 00:10:50,810
Right, tell me, how are you feeling?
236
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,370
I'm feeling quite blue.
Blue?
237
00:10:52,410 --> 00:10:55,370
Yeah. Mm.
And you know what?
238
00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:57,650
I just sat down and...
Well, I laid down,
239
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,450
and my eyes were closed,
and I opened my eyes,
240
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:02,210
and as I'm looking up,
I'm seeing blue.
241
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:04,290
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
242
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,450
You're seeing blue?
243
00:11:06,490 --> 00:11:08,570
I've got blue
on my trainers as well.
244
00:11:08,610 --> 00:11:10,010
Oh, you're seeing a lot of blue.
245
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:12,250
Yeah, so I've seen
a lot of blue today. Yeah.
246
00:11:12,290 --> 00:11:14,610
When I was getting ready earlier,
I heard someone say Blue Peter.
247
00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:17,250
Really?
Yeah.
248
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:18,850
I heard someone say Blue Peter.
Oh.
249
00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:21,970
And I looked around,
and there was no-one there.
250
00:11:22,010 --> 00:11:23,330
We'll have to unpack this more.
251
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:26,290
I'm gonna book you in
for another appointment later.
252
00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:28,610
Oh, thank you so much.
Yeah? And we'll see what we can do.
253
00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:32,650
BLUE PETER THEME PLAYS
254
00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:45,530
There is a sound
that can strike fear
255
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:47,170
into the hearts of the Islanders.
256
00:11:47,210 --> 00:11:48,690
TEXT ALERT
257
00:11:48,730 --> 00:11:51,130
Already? I've got a text!
SHE SIGHS
258
00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:53,490
It can strike any time...
259
00:11:53,530 --> 00:11:55,970
TEXT ALERT
260
00:11:56,010 --> 00:11:59,410
"Mimii, you are now single."
261
00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:01,210
..be it night...
262
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:04,090
TEXT ALERT
Ooh, I've got a text!
263
00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:05,970
What?
Shit.
264
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:08,650
Fuck.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
265
00:12:08,690 --> 00:12:11,170
Nah, we don't want it.
266
00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:12,850
..or day.
267
00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:14,050
TEXT ALERT
268
00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,850
I got a text!
SCREAMING
269
00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:18,930
She got text.
Oh, fuck.
270
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:22,690
{\an8}READS ALOUD
271
00:12:22,730 --> 00:12:25,010
{\an8}CHEERING
272
00:12:25,050 --> 00:12:26,050
{\an8}Come on!
273
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:29,290
# Birds of a feather
We should stick together... #
274
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:32,010
Our two Welsh lovebirds
left the villa
275
00:12:32,050 --> 00:12:33,930
and headed down
to a Majorcan beach
276
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:36,170
for their first date.
277
00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:38,330
Well, Barry Island was a bit far.
278
00:12:38,370 --> 00:12:41,930
Here are all the lush unseen bits
you didn't get to see. Tidy.
279
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,410
It's nice to be here, isn't it?
I was buzzing.
280
00:12:43,450 --> 00:12:44,770
I was trying to be all cool,
281
00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:46,610
as soon as you walked
round the corner, I was like, "Yes!"
282
00:12:46,650 --> 00:12:48,370
I was nervous straightaway.
I felt sick.
283
00:12:48,410 --> 00:12:52,610
A bit of the bubbly.
284
00:12:52,650 --> 00:12:55,730
Don't shake it.
285
00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:58,570
I'll try not to.
No, don't.
286
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:01,250
No promises.
You'll waste it all.
287
00:13:01,290 --> 00:13:03,290
What do I do, then, just pull out?
Yeah.
288
00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:05,890
CORK POPS
289
00:13:05,930 --> 00:13:09,010
Yay! It's gonna come out.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
290
00:13:09,050 --> 00:13:13,450
Oh, oh, sh...
SHE LAUGHS
291
00:13:13,490 --> 00:13:16,130
Down it, fast.
Cheers to a first date.
292
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,970
Yeah.
Cheers to you looking lush as well.
293
00:13:19,010 --> 00:13:21,290
SHE LAUGHS
294
00:13:21,330 --> 00:13:24,890
And cheers to whatever comes.
Yeah, cheers.
295
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:27,050
Cheers.
That was nice.
296
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:28,930
Do you think your mam would like me?
297
00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:30,650
Do I think my mam would like you?
No, definitely not.
298
00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:32,250
Nah, I'm joking.
299
00:13:32,290 --> 00:13:34,130
I think, nah,
you'd get along with her well.
300
00:13:34,170 --> 00:13:36,250
Would I?
Yeah, definitely.
301
00:13:36,290 --> 00:13:37,570
She said to me before coming,
she was like,
302
00:13:37,610 --> 00:13:39,170
"You better get with a Welsh girl."
Ah, did she?
303
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:41,650
Yeah, so she'll be glad I did now.
Aw, that's nice.
304
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,250
I woke up this morning,
305
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,250
you were just like that,
holding my hand.
306
00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:47,330
I knew you were gonna say that.
Given it the big one again, look.
307
00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:49,330
It was nice.
No, it was.
308
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,690
I couldn't believe it.
309
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,450
I woke up, I was like,
"What, is this morning?"
310
00:13:52,490 --> 00:13:54,250
I turned around,
I was like, "Oh, my God."
311
00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:56,010
I was still cwtching you, like.
312
00:13:56,050 --> 00:13:58,090
Isn't it weird, though, like,
everyone using the word "cuddle"
313
00:13:58,130 --> 00:13:59,170
and we're still using...?
314
00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:01,450
I know, cwtch. It's a cwtch.
It's not a cuddle, it's a cwtch.
315
00:14:01,490 --> 00:14:03,290
I've got Ronnie and Ayo on it.
They're saying it now.
316
00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:06,370
He says,
"Oh, cool, you going for a cwtch?"
317
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:10,170
I'm like, "Yes, Ronnie."
Welsh taking over the villa, like.
318
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:13,210
They'll all be speaking Welsh
next now.
319
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:15,650
Yeah, I know.
I taught them a few bits, like.
320
00:14:15,690 --> 00:14:17,330
Can you speak much Welsh?
No, not a lot.
321
00:14:17,370 --> 00:14:20,290
Not at all?
Say shwmae, like. Say hello.
322
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:22,250
SHE LAUGHS
323
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:23,770
But what a coincidence,
324
00:14:23,810 --> 00:14:25,890
as there were
two other Welsh lovebirds
325
00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:28,170
enjoying a date on the beach.
326
00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:29,810
It's nice, though, isn't there?
Yeah, it's lush.
327
00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:33,090
You wouldn't get water like that
in Wales.
328
00:14:33,130 --> 00:14:34,730
No, I know. Not like this.
329
00:14:34,770 --> 00:14:36,890
All the water's brown, though.
Yeah! Yeah.
330
00:14:36,930 --> 00:14:40,410
I've got a massive family.
I've got a huge family.
331
00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:43,050
Massive family.
Mine's huge. I'm all over.
332
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,050
I've got loads of cousins,
loads of aunties, loads of uncles.
333
00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:46,450
I'm literally all over South Wales,
like.
334
00:14:46,490 --> 00:14:47,450
Are you?
Yeah.
335
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:48,970
I can't believe
we've come all the way on here
336
00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:51,770
and live 30 minutes away
from each other. Yeah.
337
00:14:51,810 --> 00:14:53,370
While Ciaran and Nicole hit it off,
338
00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:58,770
Bryn and Blodwyn's date
was taking a "tern" for the worse.
339
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:03,890
Blodwyn made
an early flight back home,
340
00:15:03,930 --> 00:15:07,170
leaving Bryn wondering
if he'd ever find
341
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:10,490
another "gull-friend".
342
00:15:14,050 --> 00:15:15,610
Before we go into a break,
343
00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:16,930
Harriett and Patsy
have got something
344
00:15:16,970 --> 00:15:18,650
they really need to show us
in the kitchen.
345
00:15:18,690 --> 00:15:21,050
And I think we've just enough time..
346
00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:22,570
Oh, no, I was wrong.
347
00:15:22,610 --> 00:15:24,930
Come back after the break
and find out...
348
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,360
# Ready or not
349
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:15,680
# Ready or not... #
350
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:19,920
On your marks! Get set! Goooo!
351
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:24,600
IAIN STIRLING: Welcome back
to Love Island: Unseen Bits.
352
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:28,440
What did you just say, brother?
353
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:31,920
I said welcome back
to Love Island: Unseen Bits.
354
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,400
The show that will shock you...
355
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:38,200
Oi!
SCREAMING
356
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,400
..sock you...
Smells of vinegar.
357
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,800
Is it a sock?
Yeah. Chuck it here.
358
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:46,120
..keep you up to date
with the latest news stories...
359
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:49,480
So, the Prime Minister is...
Pfft. I don't know.
360
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,280
SAMANTHA:Who's our Prime Minister?
361
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:52,600
That's how mad it is.
No-one even knows.
362
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,840
Who is it? I don't know.
Oh, it's, erm... Ricky Sunak.
363
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,120
Who's that?
364
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,480
..and show you that
the winds of change
365
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,520
are also blowing through the villa.
366
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,040
Have you just farted?
Yeah, that was me.
367
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:06,880
Was it you? Fucking hell!
THEY LAUGH
368
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:11,920
I feel sick.
I can fucking tell!
369
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,680
Ick.
Tell me about it, Ciaran.
370
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:15,680
My arse is sweating.
371
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,160
SAMANTHA:
My arse cheeks are chafing.
372
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,760
BURPS
Pardon me.
373
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:26,360
Before the break,
Harriett and Patsy were strutting
374
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:33,400
through the villa on a mission,
but here's what happened next.
375
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:38,840
Argh!
376
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,280
Oh, my God.
UMA:Harriet's just decked it.
377
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:45,160
Harriett, are you all right?
Girl...
378
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,160
LAUGHTER
379
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:52,320
PATSY:I tried to save you!
That's hilarious.
380
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:56,320
I couldn't save you.
Oh, my God.
381
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,480
Anyone else, like... It couldn't
have been anyone else in the villa.
382
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,400
AYO:You sure, yeah?
383
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:10,360
We all know
that Wales is the land of song
384
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:14,600
and that James Blunt is the greatest
living singer-songwriter bar none.
385
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:16,720
So it was only matter of time
before the two things came together,
386
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,880
as this unseen bit proves.
387
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:22,480
So, how do you say, er...
you're beautiful in Welsh?
388
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,880
Erm... I don't actually know.
Oh.
389
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:29,400
I know... What do I know?
I know a few things. Like, erm...
390
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,480
"Ble wyt ti'n byw?"
is "where do you live?"
391
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,520
"Dwi'n byw yn",
"I live in... Aberdar."
392
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,280
Where do you live?
Go on, say that again.
393
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,800
Dwi'n byw yn Aberdar.
I live in Aberdare.
394
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,080
Dwi'n byw da-ba-dar.
SHE LAUGHS
395
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,600
"Doom ba da ba." No.
Dwi'n...
396
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:51,000
Dwi'n byw...
Dwayne boo.
397
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,280
Dwayne bae.
Dwi'n byw yn...
398
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,560
Dawyne boo-en.
399
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:56,680
Where do you live?
Dawyne boo-en.
400
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,200
Where do you live, though?
Where DO you live?
401
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,120
London, is it?
London.
402
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,000
Oh, right, you're asking me.
Dwi'n byw yn London.
403
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,960
Dwayne boo yn London.
Dwayne boo yn London.
404
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,200
Dwi'n byw yn London.
Er, what else do I know?
405
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:13,120
I know... Bore da.
That's good morning. Bore da.
406
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,280
She's lying to you.
That means small cock.
407
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:19,080
Bore da means good morning.
408
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,040
Good morning is "pidyn yn groth".
No, it's not.
409
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,920
Bore da is good morning.
410
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,040
All right! You wanna say you've got
a small cock, you do you, mate.
411
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,400
Told you. She's lying.
Is that what it is?
412
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,840
It's actually not.
I wouldn't do that to you.
413
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,320
HE LAUGHS
What did you say?
414
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:35,840
Pidyn...
Bidyn.
415
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:37,760
..yn groth.
Bidyn an gloath.
416
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,720
No, it means "willy in vagina".
LAUGHS
417
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,520
Next!
418
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,360
This week, we saw the Islanders
playing balloon dares.
419
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:52,440
A pretty simple concept where they
just had to pick up a balloon,
420
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:57,760
pop it in a sex position,
and then read out a dare.
421
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:02,480
"Snog the Islander that you think
is 100% your type on paper."
422
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,040
It led to a few tense moments
and difficult decisions,
423
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,960
but apparently not as difficult
as picking up the balloon
424
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,760
in the first place,
as these unseen bits show.
425
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,400
Oh, how am I gonna get in here
and get that? I'm too short.
426
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:18,520
BALLOON POPS
It's popped!
427
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:24,280
Oh, fuck! See, it's hard!
428
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:30,240
THEY LAUGH
429
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:34,960
"Hiss at the Islander that has
given you snakey vibes." Ohh!
430
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,080
Go on, Nicole.
431
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:39,160
It's got to be Harriett
cos of the situation we were in.
432
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,640
THEY LAUGH
433
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,280
Honestly, the Islander
with the snakey vibes hiss
434
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,520
didn't bother me at all.
435
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,080
I mean, I literally kissed
Nicole's boyfriend,
436
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:51,840
so I was kind of expecting it.
I would've hissed at me too.
437
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:53,080
SCREAMING
438
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:54,800
SONG: 'Push It!'
by Salt-N-Pepa.
439
00:35:54,840 --> 00:36:03,360
THEY LAUGH
440
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,520
# Ooh, baby, baby... #
441
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,200
"Have an arm wrestle
with the Islander you see
442
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:11,760
"is your biggest competition."
ALL:Oooh! Yes!
443
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:16,920
Ayo.
ALL:Oooh!
444
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,160
Come on, G.
Three, two, one.
445
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,920
SCREAMING
446
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:23,160
Go on, Ayo.
447
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:28,000
Never!
Joey, go on!
448
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:33,000
He won't give in.
449
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:37,360
CHEERING
450
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,600
I just thought
I'd let him have this one.
451
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,120
You know, Mr Essex gets it. 1-0.
452
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,920
I've got to get him back,
so, yeah, I let him have that.
453
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:47,480
Don't ever, ever give up.
454
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:51,000
And that is exactly what I did
tonight, with my weak arm.
455
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,240
APPLAUSE
456
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:06,520
# Watch me dance
Dance the night away... #
457
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:10,240
In the villa, everyone takes
dental hygiene very serious.
458
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,080
And I've been told
the Islanders love to floss.
459
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,680
Can you floss? I can floss.
460
00:37:14,720 --> 00:37:16,400
Oh, sorry,
I completely misunderstood
461
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:17,960
what that VT was gonna be about.
462
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:22,360
How do you do that?
You go in, out, swap.
463
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,440
In, out, swap. Oh, do you know
what you've got to do first?
464
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,680
You've got to just master the...
Not master it, but, like,
465
00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:31,560
the left, right, right,
and then just do the leg movement.
466
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,200
And then you start adding in a...
adding in a hand.
467
00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:36,200
Yeah, but you do the...
No, it's not.
468
00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:39,320
All right. I can do it.
I can't do that.
469
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,720
Girls, girls, girls, back.
This is how it's done. OK.
470
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:46,200
# Watch me dance
Dance the night away
471
00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:48,000
# My heart could be burning
472
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:51,880
# But you won't see it
On my face... #
473
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,160
Stop with the flossing,
I find it triggering!
474
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:59,200
Couldn't do it back in the day,
and I can't do it now.
475
00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:01,640
What's the secret to being
a bit handsome reality TV icon
476
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,360
like Joey Essex?
477
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:08,040
It's easy! Always make sure
you get your oats every morning.
478
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,640
I fell in love with it
a long time ago.
479
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,480
And, erm, yeah,
we've never fell out of love.
480
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,680
'I take proper pride
in my porridge.'
481
00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:18,960
# Crack that whip... #
482
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,720
I think porridge for me
is the best meal of the day.
483
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,520
I'm gonna see what's going on,
you know.
484
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,080
I mean, these are not the oats
I buy at home.
485
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,720
I actually... Do you know what,
I've my oats shipped here before.
486
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,680
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
487
00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:34,280
He proper likes to make sure
that his oats are cooked
488
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,800
to a great standard,
so he takes pride and joy in it,
489
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:39,920
which I respect him for that.
490
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,360
Yeah, they look all right.
That's a good oat, you know.
491
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:46,080
Good.
That's a good oat, cuz.
492
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,680
Believe me, if you want your oats
493
00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:51,000
to be the best oats
you've ever tried,
494
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,400
the reemest oats on the planet,
you just need to keep whisking.
495
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:58,040
Yeah? Keep whipping,
keep whipping, keep whipping...
496
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,040
# I say whip it... #
..keep whipping.
497
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,640
And then all of a sudden...
# Whip it good... #
498
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:07,120
..you'll put your oats in the bowl,
yeah?
499
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:11,560
Promise you,
best oats you've ever tasted.
500
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:16,160
Where's Ciaran? You seen him?
Is he in there?
501
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:17,920
I think he's inside, geez.
502
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:19,360
# When a problem comes along
You must whip it
503
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,480
# Before the cream sits out too long
504
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:26,880
# When something's going wrong
You must whip it... #
505
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:31,480
Ciaran. Do you want honey on it?
506
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,120
Oh, little bit, yeah.
Go on, hold that. It's yours.
507
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:34,560
I've got... Oh, is it?
Oh, that looks banging.
508
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:36,720
It's for you, bro.
509
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:40,360
Oh, lovely. Mm!
510
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,360
Thank you, mate.
That's all right.
511
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,000
Have you not eaten it yet?
I'm eating it now, mate. Chill!
512
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,800
I made it all fresh for you.
513
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,680
I run it out to you
because it was still fresh.
514
00:39:54,720 --> 00:39:57,440
It's still fresh now.
It'll still be nice.
515
00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:59,760
Mm, good consistency.
Well done, mate.
516
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:04,240
That's good porridge.
Good porridge. Good porridge.
517
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,480
# To whip it, whip it good. #
518
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,360
I am the porridge man.
519
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:18,000
No time to introduce this next clip,
as I'm having a disaster.
520
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:22,040
I've lost my joke book. It's got
all my killer dad gags in it.
521
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:26,480
I'm nothing without it!
But I think I know who's stolen it.
522
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,840
Why did the mushroom have
so many friends?
523
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,200
Oh, I love a mushroom joke.
Go on. I don't know.
524
00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:33,840
Sorry, out of time,
and comedy is all about timing.
525
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:37,160
Find out why the mushroom had
so many friends after the break.
526
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,720
IAIN STIRLING:
Oh, look at our sleeping beauties.
527
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,200
So peaceful.
528
00:40:57,240 --> 00:40:59,000
But you can't watch Unseen Bits
with your eyes closed.
529
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:05,720
So wakey, wakey! We're back.
530
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:07,880
So, what's been happening
during the break?
531
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:09,280
Sean has been keeping Jess
at arm's length.
532
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,640
THEY CHEER
533
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,200
Someone spilt the tea.
534
00:41:13,240 --> 00:41:14,960
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Literally.
535
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,240
And Ronnie avoided a close shave.
536
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,480
I love to be clean shaven,
but I'd look like Voldemort, bro.
537
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,440
Keep your eyes open
538
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:28,400
because you're not going to want
to miss any of this.
539
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:29,560
You know when they always say
540
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,440
you end up dating somebody
who looks like your siblings?
541
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:32,680
They look like siblings.
542
00:41:32,720 --> 00:41:38,720
So do youse two.
So do youse two.
543
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:40,680
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was a reindeer.
544
00:41:40,720 --> 00:41:44,200
You're just five seconds
behind everything, aren't you?
545
00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:46,560
Oh, it's been fun.
546
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,480
Before she was rudely
interrupted by the break,
547
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,200
Uma was telling Munveer why
the mushroom had so many friends.
548
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:01,040
Go on, then, Uma.
549
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:04,880
Cos he was a "fun-gi".
Oh, no! Nah, it's supposed to be...
550
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,360
Oh, did I fuck it up?
551
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:15,120
Yeah. So, why did I invite
the mushroom to the villa?
552
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,440
Why?
Cos he was a "fun-gi".
553
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:18,720
That's good. That's good.
OK.
554
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,280
You did it way better than me.
555
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:21,960
It is seems like the popularity
of comedy in the villa
556
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,880
has "mushroomed".
557
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:27,080
Suddenly, everyone is a comedian.
558
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:33,480
Every creature
of the animal kingdom
559
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,880
has its own unique form
of communication.
560
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,440
Some make physical gestures,
561
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,080
while other use scent and sound
to interact with their peers...
562
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,880
as Nicole seems to know
all too well.
563
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,920
Men's group chats are bizarre.
I know.
564
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:50,040
I don't think I ever want to read
a man's group chat.
565
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,240
One of the boys in a group chat,
in my group chat, yeah?
566
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,120
Apparently, they have,
like, these farting things,
567
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,040
where they all fart.
568
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:57,960
Oh, my God, my sister's husband
was in a farting group chat.
569
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,320
Yeah, see?
570
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,360
He got kicked out because
he was putting too many in.
571
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:02,360
It's mental, isn't it? Yeah.
572
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,120
One of my boys told me to do that.
I was like, "What?"
573
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:05,120
I've seen a TikTok of that.
574
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:06,320
What? Do they do it on voice record?
575
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:07,360
They're on WhatsApp.
576
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,280
My sister's husband got kicked out
of a farting group chat
577
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,240
for sending too many.
578
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:12,720
That is vile.
What? They voice note the fart?
579
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:13,960
Yeah.
580
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,440
Yeah, and they, like,
rate the farts and that.
581
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:16,880
That is next-level rotten.
582
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,320
It's just, like,
what are you doing with yourself?
583
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,120
I imagine knowing you're about
to fart and being like,
584
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:22,560
"Oh, one second."
585
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,400
Like, yeah, you're loading one up.
You know what I'm saying, like?
586
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,120
You've been waiting all day
to send this into the group chat.
587
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:31,320
"Mine's coming in a bit, boys,
I've got one brewing."
588
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,960
HE LAUGHS
I've got one brewing.
589
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,120
What's the name of the group chat?
I don't think Joey...
590
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,520
I've got a naughty fart chat.
Shit goes on.
591
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,080
It's all top-secret shit in there
bro.
592
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,280
I can't imagine you having a poo,
Joey.
593
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:46,920
You're in one, Joey?
I'm involved in one, yeah.
594
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:48,640
A farting group chat?
Farting group chat, yeah.
595
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:50,800
But I obviously can't explain
what's going on in there. But, yeah.
596
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,640
The first rule of fart club
is don't talk about fart club.
597
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:53,640
FARTS
598
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,520
This week,
the villa was completely consumed
599
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,480
by an obtuse amount
of love triangles.
600
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:06,880
Someone's gonna get hurt.
There's gonna be a triangle.
601
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:08,280
Don't do all that stuff, man. Yeah.
602
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:09,880
I don't do triangles, babe.
603
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,960
I'm in this... I hate the term
of this fucking triangle thing.
604
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,120
That's what you've got going on
right now, don't you, mate?
605
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:16,920
Like, I'm gonna call it
an isosceles.
606
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:18,880
AYO LAUGHS
607
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:22,680
This isosceles. What you call
the equilateral shape.
608
00:44:22,720 --> 00:44:24,480
Yeah, whatever you want to call it.
609
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,160
I'm no triangle.
I'm in a straight line.
610
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:32,280
In a straight-line?
611
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:34,600
And with me, Harriett, I don't know,
like, I'm sick of these triangles.
612
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,920
And we've turned it into a square,
haven't we?
613
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,880
And like all triangles,
love triangles can be very pointed.
614
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:47,080
So Uma and Mimii sat down and
attempted to square the circle.
615
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,360
Yoyo, do you wanna come for a chat?
616
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:50,680
Oh, shit.
Oh, I'm gonna watch this.
617
00:44:50,720 --> 00:44:52,200
Wait, let's get beanbags.
618
00:44:52,240 --> 00:44:54,280
Yeah, let's get beanbags.
619
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:56,080
Can someone tell me what's going on?
I've been inside.
620
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,080
Well, they've both called in
for a chat at the same time.
621
00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,480
I think this conversation is needed,
622
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,080
cos obviously,
there's been a miscommunication.
623
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:02,720
I swear to God,
I've tried my best to communicate.
624
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,960
Shh, shh, shh.
625
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,160
I bet our Islanders didn't pay
this much attention to triangles
626
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,960
at geometry class at school.
627
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,440
Meanwhile, the only triangle
Joey was bothered about was covered
628
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:14,920
in cheese and tomato sauce.
629
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,240
Ugh.
630
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:18,680
CRUNCHING
631
00:45:18,720 --> 00:45:21,560
Shh.
632
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:23,000
The way that things
have been moving in here,
633
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,760
it sort of just seems like you are,
like, more about me.
634
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:29,080
CRUNCHING
635
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:32,320
Shh!
636
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,400
So this whole thing has just been
blown out of portion, then?
637
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:35,400
Full stop.
638
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:40,640
CRUNCHING
639
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:42,120
Shut up.
640
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,960
I'm gonna go back to the kitchen.
Is he taking the piss?
641
00:45:55,000 --> 00:46:00,720
CRUNCHING
642
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,600
Oh, Joey, you're a real pizza whack.
643
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:11,600
The trick to comedy is
understanding the rule of three,
644
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:14,240
and here is the third of my jokes
that Munveer has stole
645
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:15,920
on this episode.
646
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,480
It's not funny.
647
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:21,680
What do you call a person
with no body and no nose?
648
00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:24,080
Voldemort.
649
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:25,880
THEY LAUGH
650
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:27,760
What do you call it?
651
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:29,640
"No-body nose".
652
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:32,840
DRUM STING
653
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:34,920
Oh, my God.
654
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:36,320
I got that one.
You got that one?
655
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,960
Thank God for that.
656
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:41,320
Cheers.
Tough crowd here.
657
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,280
Why did I kick the fun guy
out of the villa?
658
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:46,560
Why?
Cos it wasn't "my-shroom".
659
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,040
DRUM STING
660
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:49,920
Cos it wasn't "my-shroom"?
661
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,200
THEY LAUGH
662
00:46:52,240 --> 00:46:54,200
That was... Did you just ping
that off the top of your head?
663
00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:56,480
Yeah.
What?
664
00:46:56,520 --> 00:47:02,240
Be careful, Munveer, too many
mushroom jokes can get to your head.
665
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:05,880
And like all comedians, Munveer
was about to face a very tough gig.
666
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:10,240
There was a double dumping in store,
and it was no laughing matter.
667
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,680
But they didn't have "mush-room"
in their cases.
668
00:47:12,720 --> 00:47:14,760
Why don't you wear that
waffle T-shirt?
669
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,920
I don't know,
I just didn't get a chance.
670
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,080
I mean, if you wanna pass me
the Prada glasses as well.
671
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:21,960
If you find it, you can keep it.
Guys, have you packed?
672
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,320
You can have
that blue and green dress.
673
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:26,520
Yay!
674
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:28,520
Oh, does anyone want that?
Oh, I'll have anything.
675
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:31,560
Luckily, Nicole was there
to lend a helping hand
676
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:35,240
by stealing all her "shii-takes".
677
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:39,400
I wouldn't bother checking,
girls, she's foraged the lot.
678
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:40,600
The moral of the story is
679
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:44,200
don't make mushroom jokes
that could be poison.
680
00:47:44,240 --> 00:47:48,520
One thing's for sure, Patsy's bag
isn't gonna be over 23kg in weight.
681
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:56,520
After the stress
of Patsy and Munveer's dumping,
682
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:58,160
our Islanders were trying to relax
683
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,880
and restore some spiritual balance
to the villa.
684
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:02,880
Put your hands out like this.
Yeah.
685
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,560
No, cos your hand
is on the wrong side. Go on, what?
686
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:06,480
So, you go like that,
she makes you go like that,
687
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,960
and then you go like that.
And then you twist and then... Yeah?
688
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:13,240
No, yeah, and then travel.
Get your balance. Yeah.
689
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:18,080
How far do you go?
Smashing it.
690
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:22,000
Have you never do animal stretching?
691
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,080
Go on, animal stretching.
Well, what's your star sign?
692
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,320
Taurus.
Taurus? What's that?
693
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,720
Lion, I think, innit?
No, that's a Leo.
694
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:33,080
I'm a Leo. I think it's a cow.
It's definitely not a cow.
695
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:37,040
What would a cow move be?
I'll show you in a minute.
696
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:38,840
What's your one?
I'm a Virgo.
697
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,360
What's the Virgo? That a goat?
It's a goat, yeah.
698
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:45,000
Goat's are cool.
699
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:45,960
What?
700
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,160
Goat's are cool.
701
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:48,360
Go on.
702
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:49,640
What are you?
703
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,320
I'm a Scorpio.
You're a Scorpio?
704
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:52,600
Are you?
Legs in the air.
705
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:54,160
Have you done
a scorpion stretch before?
706
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:55,160
Come on, let's do it.
707
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:56,240
Come on, show me, show me.
708
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:58,080
Oh, that's good, that, Joey.
709
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:02,560
It sorts your lower back out.
710
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:06,640
I can't even get off the floor.
I've been eating too many waffles.
711
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,640
Yeah, that's a good one, that.
Can you do the cow?
712
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:12,280
Milking a cow?
713
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:13,560
JOEY MOOS
714
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:14,880
THEY LAUGH
715
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:16,440
Oh, yeah, you've got to breathe out,
haven't you?
716
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:17,440
Yeah, in and out.
717
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:18,480
JOEY MOOS
718
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:20,000
THEY LAUGH
719
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:21,440
No, they do that thing
where they go like this.
720
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:25,320
JOEY MOOS
721
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:27,360
No, they bend their back. They bend
their back and then they...
722
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:28,360
No, don't do it again.
723
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:29,400
JOEY MOOS
724
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:33,120
THEY LAUGH
725
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:34,200
One, and...
726
00:49:34,240 --> 00:49:41,600
JOEY AND SEAN MOO
727
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,640
Some great "moo-ves" there.
728
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:45,720
MOOING
729
00:49:58,050 --> 00:50:00,570
# Don't stop
730
00:50:00,610 --> 00:50:02,570
# We've got the world looking in
731
00:50:02,610 --> 00:50:04,730
# Our window. #
732
00:50:04,770 --> 00:50:06,290
IAIN STIRLING: Welcome back
to the final part
733
00:50:06,330 --> 00:50:09,050
of Love Island: Unseen Bits.
734
00:50:09,090 --> 00:50:10,130
Will I be dancing in the aisles?
735
00:50:10,170 --> 00:50:12,370
Staff announcement,
staff announcement.
736
00:50:12,410 --> 00:50:15,490
Can Ronnie please go to aisle 36?
Thank you.
737
00:50:15,530 --> 00:50:18,090
If you haven't got a trolley,
just improvise, like these guys,
738
00:50:18,130 --> 00:50:21,490
and load up on great-value
unseen exclusives.
739
00:50:21,530 --> 00:50:23,850
Such a dick!
740
00:50:23,890 --> 00:50:25,610
So put your feet up
741
00:50:25,650 --> 00:50:29,130
for what is hands down the best
unseen action on the market.
742
00:50:29,170 --> 00:50:30,770
We even stock organic dental floss
743
00:50:30,810 --> 00:50:33,970
made from 100% natural fibres.
744
00:50:34,010 --> 00:50:35,130
Come and join us, Harriett.
745
00:50:35,170 --> 00:50:38,410
I'm just using my hair
to floss my teeth.
746
00:50:38,450 --> 00:50:41,610
And the yellow bean bags
are flying off the shells.
747
00:50:47,650 --> 00:50:50,610
This week,
there's been a dramatic twist.
748
00:50:50,650 --> 00:50:54,490
DRAMATIC STING
749
00:50:54,530 --> 00:50:57,050
All the Islanders have been dumped.
750
00:50:57,090 --> 00:51:01,610
DRAMATIC STING
751
00:51:01,650 --> 00:51:02,970
I'm only joking.
752
00:51:03,010 --> 00:51:04,890
They were just playing a game which
is a bit like hide and seek
753
00:51:04,930 --> 00:51:06,970
but Ciaran calls it mob mob.
754
00:51:07,010 --> 00:51:08,330
You've never played mob mob?
What's that?
755
00:51:08,370 --> 00:51:10,570
Have you ever played mob mob?
756
00:51:10,610 --> 00:51:13,210
Over to Ciaran for the rules.
757
00:51:13,250 --> 00:51:15,370
So, I'll go like this.
I'll count, yeah?
758
00:51:15,410 --> 00:51:17,370
And you all go and hide.
759
00:51:17,410 --> 00:51:18,810
OK, got it.
760
00:51:18,850 --> 00:51:22,370
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
761
00:51:22,410 --> 00:51:25,370
If I see you,
I can just go "Mob mob, Ronnie."
762
00:51:25,410 --> 00:51:27,410
Anything else?
763
00:51:27,450 --> 00:51:29,130
So, you hide,
and I come looking for you.
764
00:51:29,170 --> 00:51:31,370
So it's just like hide and seek?
765
00:51:31,410 --> 00:51:34,970
27, 28, 29, 30.
766
00:51:35,010 --> 00:51:36,890
Mob mob, here I come.
767
00:51:36,930 --> 00:51:39,330
You mean a bit like hide and seek?
768
00:51:39,370 --> 00:51:42,970
And if you're gonna hide,
make sure you cover your feet, Sean.
769
00:51:43,010 --> 00:51:46,290
Mob mob, Sean.
770
00:51:46,330 --> 00:51:48,010
Yeah, hide and seek, right?
771
00:51:48,050 --> 00:51:50,890
If you're all hiding in the same
place, and I see you all,
772
00:51:50,930 --> 00:51:52,490
I can just say "mob mob, all."
773
00:51:52,530 --> 00:51:54,010
I don't have to name all your names.
774
00:51:54,050 --> 00:51:55,610
He's just making rules up
as he goes.
775
00:51:55,650 --> 00:51:58,170
He's literally doing that
as he goes along.
776
00:51:58,210 --> 00:51:59,930
The hiding places are good,
you know.
777
00:51:59,970 --> 00:52:04,090
Ugh!
778
00:52:04,130 --> 00:52:06,810
You know the thing is, mate,
779
00:52:06,850 --> 00:52:08,490
I'm from South Wales, innit.
780
00:52:08,530 --> 00:52:11,490
Lot of patience. You can't go out
because of the rain and everything.
781
00:52:11,530 --> 00:52:14,250
So now it's just a waiting game.
782
00:52:14,290 --> 00:52:19,850
Oh, fuck off!
783
00:52:19,890 --> 00:52:22,850
Oh, you absolute...
784
00:52:22,890 --> 00:52:26,370
Mob mob, Ayo.
785
00:52:26,410 --> 00:52:28,650
Finally the whole mob mob
got back together.
786
00:52:33,050 --> 00:52:34,490
Tonight's Unseen Bits
has been an education.
787
00:52:34,530 --> 00:52:36,810
It's like the Open University.
788
00:52:36,850 --> 00:52:40,290
And I'm pleased to announce Scouse
is finally on the syllabus.
789
00:52:40,330 --> 00:52:43,690
What's like a proper,
like, Scouser thing that I can say?
790
00:52:43,730 --> 00:52:45,930
You're on it. Huh?
You're on it.
791
00:52:45,970 --> 00:52:48,290
Are you on it?
You on it?
792
00:52:48,330 --> 00:52:49,290
Your honour?
793
00:52:49,330 --> 00:52:50,690
Are you on it?
794
00:52:50,730 --> 00:52:52,410
Are. You. On. It?
795
00:52:52,450 --> 00:52:53,690
Are you on it?
Yeah.
796
00:52:53,730 --> 00:52:55,850
So, are you on it?
797
00:52:55,890 --> 00:52:58,210
What's another Scouse word?
A show.
798
00:52:58,250 --> 00:53:00,250
If that's a show.
You know what I mean?
799
00:53:00,290 --> 00:53:01,210
A shell?
A show.
800
00:53:01,250 --> 00:53:03,090
A. Show.
801
00:53:03,130 --> 00:53:05,050
So, like, dunno, someone could have
a bikini on,
802
00:53:05,090 --> 00:53:06,490
I'd go, "That's a show."
803
00:53:06,530 --> 00:53:08,090
A show.
A show.
804
00:53:08,130 --> 00:53:11,610
I might just that saying
some Scouser.
805
00:53:11,650 --> 00:53:13,210
Or, "Eeeehhh."
806
00:53:13,250 --> 00:53:15,050
That's the one that
I need to get used to.
807
00:53:15,090 --> 00:53:17,650
When I heard it yesterday, I was
thinking, what is everybody doing?
808
00:53:17,690 --> 00:53:20,690
Yeah, no, it's because of me.
Iconic. Do you know what I mean?
809
00:53:20,730 --> 00:53:22,250
You've set a little trend
for yourself. Yeah!
810
00:53:22,290 --> 00:53:25,450
Little old trend.
811
00:53:30,930 --> 00:53:32,410
This week,
Joey and Samantha were whisked off
812
00:53:32,450 --> 00:53:34,530
on the second romantic date
of the summer.
813
00:53:34,570 --> 00:53:38,730
# I'm a tidal wave of question marks
814
00:53:38,770 --> 00:53:42,410
# And you're just surfing... #
815
00:53:42,450 --> 00:53:45,930
But back at the villa,
816
00:53:45,970 --> 00:53:47,690
Samantha's date with the reality
TV star Joey Essex
817
00:53:47,730 --> 00:53:50,290
is the hot goss on everyone's lips.
818
00:53:50,330 --> 00:53:53,730
Wonder how Joey and Samantha's
date's going? I wonder.
819
00:53:53,770 --> 00:53:55,650
I feel like I'm on a job interview.
820
00:53:55,690 --> 00:53:57,370
It seems like that.
With my hands like this.
821
00:53:57,410 --> 00:53:58,930
Shall we role-play it?
822
00:53:58,970 --> 00:54:00,810
You be Joey, and I'll be Samantha.
823
00:54:00,850 --> 00:54:03,450
What did you do after school?
824
00:54:03,490 --> 00:54:05,370
After school? I went down
to Billy's fish market.
825
00:54:05,410 --> 00:54:07,250
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
826
00:54:07,290 --> 00:54:09,650
Did you like it?
No.
827
00:54:09,690 --> 00:54:12,090
I hated it.
I hated stinking of fish.
828
00:54:12,130 --> 00:54:13,730
Like, who does?
829
00:54:13,770 --> 00:54:15,010
Did you do it full-time?
830
00:54:15,050 --> 00:54:16,890
Well, did it for just under a year,
I was there.
831
00:54:16,930 --> 00:54:18,490
And then I was sacked.
832
00:54:18,530 --> 00:54:25,290
What's happening, girl?
You all right? You're looking reem.
833
00:54:25,330 --> 00:54:27,810
How many fucking times have you used
the word reem with other girls?
834
00:54:27,850 --> 00:54:30,010
Just you, baby.
835
00:54:30,050 --> 00:54:32,570
And after that,
I worked up the city.
836
00:54:32,610 --> 00:54:36,530
And then, yeah,
got sacked from there.
837
00:54:36,570 --> 00:54:38,370
All I've asked for
is a cup of tea every morning
838
00:54:38,410 --> 00:54:41,530
and for you to stick your 100%
attention to me,
839
00:54:41,570 --> 00:54:43,010
and not any other girl.
840
00:54:43,050 --> 00:54:46,130
All I ask for is for you not
to snore in my year every night.
841
00:54:46,170 --> 00:54:47,810
Well, Joey, that's me.
842
00:54:47,850 --> 00:54:51,770
So I'm gonna do what
I want to fucking do. Right?
843
00:54:51,810 --> 00:54:54,330
He called me outside and said,
"What were you doing in the toilet?"
844
00:54:54,370 --> 00:54:56,610
I said, "Nothing. The toilet."
845
00:54:56,650 --> 00:54:58,050
He goes, "You were on the phone
to someone."
846
00:54:58,090 --> 00:54:59,130
I said, "Yeah, my girlfriend."
847
00:54:59,170 --> 00:55:01,530
He said,
"You're meant to be working."
848
00:55:01,570 --> 00:55:03,410
I said, "Mate, you don't pay me."
Yeah.
849
00:55:03,450 --> 00:55:06,170
He sacked me.
850
00:55:06,210 --> 00:55:08,530
I thought, "Cheeky geezer. How can
you sack me? You don't even pay me."
851
00:55:08,570 --> 00:55:10,690
Someone crunched a cookie in
someone's pocket, the boss's pocket.
852
00:55:10,730 --> 00:55:14,490
They tried blaming me.
So I said, "fuck this."
853
00:55:14,530 --> 00:55:16,050
They sacked me as well.
854
00:55:16,090 --> 00:55:17,970
But you're looking reem.
You're looking well buff and that.
855
00:55:18,010 --> 00:55:21,210
Stop it!
856
00:55:21,250 --> 00:55:22,650
Come here, you.
857
00:55:22,690 --> 00:55:25,330
AS HIMSELF:Whoa, whoa, whoa!
End scene.
858
00:55:25,370 --> 00:55:27,530
IAIN: So, that's who crumbled
the cookie in my pocket.
859
00:55:27,570 --> 00:55:32,570
That's it, I'm writing
a strongly worded letter to HR.
860
00:55:36,930 --> 00:55:42,210
It's that time.
It's Beach Hut Bonanza.
861
00:55:45,330 --> 00:55:49,970
{\an8}And this week, I asked our Islanders
their celebrity crush.
862
00:55:50,010 --> 00:55:52,130
{\an8}Ooh, celebrity crush.
863
00:55:52,170 --> 00:55:53,890
Oh, my gosh.
864
00:55:53,930 --> 00:55:55,450
Famous rugby player.
865
00:55:55,490 --> 00:55:58,050
No, just kidding.
866
00:55:58,090 --> 00:56:01,930
Why can't I think of anyone?
867
00:56:01,970 --> 00:56:04,050
Danny Dyer.
868
00:56:04,090 --> 00:56:05,490
"All right, darling?"
869
00:56:05,530 --> 00:56:07,610
Proper, like, Eastender.
870
00:56:07,650 --> 00:56:08,970
Princess Jasmine.
871
00:56:09,010 --> 00:56:10,890
I've always gone with Margot Robbie.
872
00:56:10,930 --> 00:56:11,890
Margot Robbie.
873
00:56:11,930 --> 00:56:13,930
Margot Robbie.
874
00:56:13,970 --> 00:56:16,690
Beautiful. Australian accent.
875
00:56:16,730 --> 00:56:19,610
Blue eyes, blonde hair.
It's literally my dream.
876
00:56:19,650 --> 00:56:20,890
Wolf Of Wall Street.
877
00:56:20,930 --> 00:56:24,210
Just watch it.
878
00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:26,650
I'd probably say another crush
would be Leonardo DiCaprio.
879
00:56:26,690 --> 00:56:28,730
Leonardo DiCaprio.
880
00:56:28,770 --> 00:56:31,210
Leonardo DiCaprio.
But, like, young Leonardo DiCaprio.
881
00:56:31,250 --> 00:56:33,010
If any girl says
they don't fancy him
882
00:56:33,050 --> 00:56:35,770
in the Wolf Of Wall Street,
then they're lying.
883
00:56:35,810 --> 00:56:37,890
Not 45-year-old Leo.
884
00:56:37,930 --> 00:56:38,970
I would say Lorraine.
885
00:56:39,010 --> 00:56:41,090
HE LAUGHS
886
00:56:41,130 --> 00:56:43,250
Oh, my God.
I can't believe I just said that.
887
00:56:43,290 --> 00:56:45,650
Lorraine. From Lorraine,
the morning show. You know?
888
00:56:45,690 --> 00:56:48,370
Tom Hardy.
Because he just is a bad boy.
889
00:56:48,410 --> 00:56:51,690
Oh, Justin Bieber. I can't forget
about Justin Bieber, obviously.
890
00:56:51,730 --> 00:56:54,490
I was the biggest belieber ever
when I was a kid.
891
00:56:54,530 --> 00:56:58,290
Well, I say I was a kid. I weren't.
I was in my teens. So embarrassing.
892
00:56:58,330 --> 00:57:00,290
Theo James.
893
00:57:00,330 --> 00:57:02,130
SHE SHRIEKS
894
00:57:02,170 --> 00:57:04,090
He's just...
I'm speechless watching him.
895
00:57:04,130 --> 00:57:05,650
I'm literally speechless
watching him.
896
00:57:05,690 --> 00:57:07,450
Sir Tom Jones.
897
00:57:07,490 --> 00:57:09,450
His voice!
898
00:57:09,490 --> 00:57:12,370
Oh, if he could sing to me
every single night before bed,
899
00:57:12,410 --> 00:57:14,610
like, all my prayers
would be answered.
900
00:57:14,650 --> 00:57:17,330
The pink fish in Shark Tale.
901
00:57:17,370 --> 00:57:18,730
Kim Possible.
902
00:57:18,770 --> 00:57:21,170
I feel like watching growing up...
903
00:57:21,210 --> 00:57:24,970
And I feel like that excited me.
904
00:57:25,010 --> 00:57:27,770
Cheryl Cole, if you're out there,
I'm here, darling.
905
00:57:27,810 --> 00:57:30,450
Harry Styles, back in the day.
906
00:57:30,490 --> 00:57:34,010
I used to read fictional novels
that people wrote about him
907
00:57:34,050 --> 00:57:35,690
and pretend it was about me.
908
00:57:35,730 --> 00:57:38,170
Lightning McQueen from Cars.
909
00:57:38,210 --> 00:57:40,130
He's just the best car,
do you know what I mean?
910
00:57:40,170 --> 00:57:41,170
He's just got the swag.
911
00:57:41,210 --> 00:57:42,330
No judgement, guys, OK?
912
00:57:42,370 --> 00:57:43,970
Because if you know, you know.
913
00:57:44,010 --> 00:57:46,330
Donald Duck's girl.
914
00:57:46,370 --> 00:57:47,810
What's Donald Duck's girl?
915
00:57:47,850 --> 00:57:50,410
Mrs Duck?
916
00:57:50,450 --> 00:57:53,210
I'm sure he had a little thing
on the site.
917
00:57:53,250 --> 00:57:55,170
Definitely the Incredible Hulk.
918
00:57:55,210 --> 00:58:01,210
He's protective over women,
muscle-y, got massive arms. Hmm!
919
00:58:01,250 --> 00:58:02,770
When I was a little bit younger,
920
00:58:02,810 --> 00:58:04,730
eating my Coco Pops after school,
921
00:58:04,770 --> 00:58:06,330
I used to come in
and watch Scooby Doo.
922
00:58:06,370 --> 00:58:08,250
And Daphne.
923
00:58:08,290 --> 00:58:10,530
Daphne. Woo!
924
00:58:10,570 --> 00:58:14,130
AS SCOOBY DOO:Raggy Roo?
925
00:58:14,170 --> 00:58:17,250
Thanks, honey.
926
00:58:17,290 --> 00:58:19,890
Come back next week for some more:
927
00:58:26,610 --> 00:58:29,050
Right, that's me done
with Unseen Bits,
928
00:58:29,090 --> 00:58:31,090
I'm ready to throw the towel in.
929
00:58:31,130 --> 00:58:35,130
Like everyone else,
by the look of it.
930
00:58:35,170 --> 00:58:38,770
Let's get all the towels and stuff.
931
00:58:38,810 --> 00:58:40,570
I wish there was, like,
a wash bag for the towels,
932
00:58:40,610 --> 00:58:42,410
cos there's just not enough room.
933
00:58:42,450 --> 00:58:48,010
PINK PANTHER THEME PLAYS
934
00:58:48,050 --> 00:58:50,050
The thing is...
935
00:58:50,090 --> 00:58:54,050
I'm sorry to be... I just don't know
where else to put these towers.
936
00:58:54,090 --> 00:58:55,930
I'm gonna put them there.
Makes it easier to clear them up.
937
00:58:55,970 --> 00:58:59,650
It's a fucking mess everywhere.
938
00:58:59,690 --> 00:59:02,170
It's just disgusting.
939
00:59:02,210 --> 00:59:04,250
I'm gonna put them there, at least
it makes it easier for everyone.
940
00:59:04,290 --> 00:59:09,690
Right. It's a bit tidier, anyway.
941
00:59:09,730 --> 00:59:10,730
Thanks, Jess.
942
00:59:10,770 --> 00:59:13,490
See you all next time
for more Unseen Bits!
943
00:59:13,530 --> 00:59:17,970
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