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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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When I was a
kid, in the summer,
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00:02:05,623 --> 00:02:07,590
I would go up
into northern Canada
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00:02:07,623 --> 00:02:10,424
with my father
and two brothers fishing.
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00:02:10,457 --> 00:02:12,956
The one male bonding
thing we did.
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00:02:12,989 --> 00:02:16,490
And the only extravagance my
rather workaholic, miserly good,
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00:02:16,523 --> 00:02:19,657
country-boy father
could muster.
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00:02:19,690 --> 00:02:24,023
We flew by bush plane,
small planes with pontoons,
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00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:27,424
into a wilderness lake where we
would be met by an old trapper
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00:02:27,457 --> 00:02:29,623
who lived there year-round.
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00:02:29,657 --> 00:02:32,956
He hadn't been back
to civilization for 20 years,
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and communicated with the fish camp
organizers on a shortwave radio.
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00:02:38,923 --> 00:02:42,490
Once we got to his camp,
a group of small cabins
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00:02:42,523 --> 00:02:44,523
nestled around
his little house,
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00:02:44,557 --> 00:02:46,590
with the sides
stacked head high
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00:02:46,623 --> 00:02:49,358
with a mountain of dried bones.
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Behind, there were teepees with
a small group of Cree Indians
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00:02:53,989 --> 00:02:57,657
who would take us out
on the water and be our guides.
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00:02:57,690 --> 00:03:04,224
They had names like Tom Pitt,
Rod Rat, Billy Deer.
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All toothless, passive,
and alcoholic.
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00:03:07,923 --> 00:03:11,291
However, they were not allowed
liquor while they worked.
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00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:14,923
Although their eyes always were
an angry, bloodshot red,
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00:03:14,956 --> 00:03:17,590
so maybe they were
sneaking drinks.
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00:03:17,623 --> 00:03:21,157
They truly were
romantic figures gone to seed.
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00:03:21,191 --> 00:03:23,590
Anyway, the point.
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00:03:23,623 --> 00:03:26,457
At this camp,
there was a group of huskies
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that that trapper kept for his
dogsled for work in the winter.
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00:03:29,923 --> 00:03:31,623
It wasn't until
we stopped going
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00:03:31,657 --> 00:03:35,056
that this guy got rid of them
for a snowmobile.
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00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:39,590
These dogs were sweet,
but wild enough to be scary.
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00:03:39,623 --> 00:03:43,923
The biggest manhood challenge
for me at six years old
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00:03:43,956 --> 00:03:46,324
was running from our cabin
to the outhouse,
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00:03:46,357 --> 00:03:50,090
because the dogs would chase
you and nip at your heels.
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While you were in the outhouse,
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00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,623
they would scratch at the door
and growl.
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Horrific.
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00:03:56,357 --> 00:03:59,291
And then,
when you were through,
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00:03:59,324 --> 00:04:01,657
you'd race back
to the safety of your cabin
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00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:04,956
hoping the nips
wouldn't turn into bites.
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00:06:07,091 --> 00:06:08,323
Okay.
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00:06:09,323 --> 00:06:10,623
Rum it is.
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Good.
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They're hungry.
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Sugar?
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Okay.
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00:10:19,457 --> 00:10:22,056
Hey, can I get another one
of these when you get a chance?
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00:10:28,956 --> 00:10:31,023
- How often you play?
- Never.
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00:10:31,056 --> 00:10:32,857
- Why?
- I don't need to.
49
00:10:34,690 --> 00:10:37,357
- But you might win.
- I don't wanna win.
50
00:10:37,390 --> 00:10:38,490
Why?
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00:10:40,457 --> 00:10:42,256
I don't wanna lose.
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00:10:48,323 --> 00:10:49,323
- Oh.
- Okay.
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- Come on. Yep.
- Here we go.
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Ready...
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- There you go. There you go.
- Mm.
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00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:01,657
- Come on.
- Come on.
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00:11:01,691 --> 00:11:03,323
- Come on...
- Come on, baby.
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00:11:03,357 --> 00:11:04,956
Come on.
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00:13:20,457 --> 00:13:22,123
Shh.
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Okay.
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00:13:24,023 --> 00:13:25,390
It's okay.
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Good?
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00:22:14,390 --> 00:22:15,323
Mitchell?
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00:22:31,423 --> 00:22:32,590
Mitchell?
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00:25:31,390 --> 00:25:33,256
I don't understand...
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00:25:35,390 --> 00:25:38,357
how you can have anything to do
with someone like her.
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00:25:44,457 --> 00:25:46,090
Just because you
don't understand
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doesn't mean it cannot be.
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00:25:49,690 --> 00:25:51,090
But why?
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00:25:52,190 --> 00:25:54,256
That's the wrong question.
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00:25:54,290 --> 00:25:56,457
The right question is,
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00:25:56,490 --> 00:25:58,490
"Is this the way
of the world?"
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00:25:58,523 --> 00:26:00,957
And the answer is yes.
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00:26:00,990 --> 00:26:02,924
What do you know?
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00:26:02,957 --> 00:26:05,523
You don't live in the world.
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00:26:05,557 --> 00:26:09,190
You stuck yourself at the
end of the universe in here.
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00:26:09,223 --> 00:26:14,357
You can't see your selfishness,
arrogance, and above all, your ignorance.
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00:26:14,390 --> 00:26:18,323
You pretend to be
open to all things
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00:26:18,357 --> 00:26:23,223
but can't see
how closed-minded you are.
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00:26:23,256 --> 00:26:28,123
Do you actually believe
you'll find your soul here?
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00:26:28,156 --> 00:26:30,223
My soul is within me.
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00:26:32,590 --> 00:26:34,557
Wrong again, brother.
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00:26:34,590 --> 00:26:38,290
Your soul is outside of you,
and you must claim it.
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00:26:39,423 --> 00:26:40,557
I have.
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00:26:42,590 --> 00:26:45,290
I began a journey
that finished here.
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00:26:45,323 --> 00:26:47,623
There is no beginning.
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00:26:47,657 --> 00:26:50,390
There is no end.
That's babble.
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00:26:50,423 --> 00:26:53,490
That's not the language
of the soul.
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Time will pass,
and you'll continue to be lost.
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00:27:00,256 --> 00:27:03,056
You sound like my father.
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00:27:03,090 --> 00:27:06,490
You complain that your father
didn't know you.
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00:27:06,523 --> 00:27:10,190
He carried you on his back
through life,
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00:27:10,223 --> 00:27:15,457
and all you can do is criticize
some oversights he committed,
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00:27:15,490 --> 00:27:19,023
while you are guilty
of the biggest crimes.
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00:27:20,023 --> 00:27:21,423
Really?
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00:27:21,457 --> 00:27:23,523
What crimes were those?
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00:27:23,557 --> 00:27:25,156
You tell me.
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00:27:26,956 --> 00:27:29,423
No, instead you'd like
to hear it from my mouth
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00:27:29,457 --> 00:27:32,123
so you can deny it.
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00:27:32,156 --> 00:27:36,123
That's the same cowardly game
you played with your father.
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00:27:37,123 --> 00:27:38,623
I love my father.
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You were not a loving son.
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00:27:42,357 --> 00:27:44,657
You were a burden to him.
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00:27:44,691 --> 00:27:46,890
And now to me.
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00:29:54,457 --> 00:29:59,658
When I had been pondering many
different things to myself for a long time,
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00:29:59,691 --> 00:30:04,558
and had for many days been seeking
my own self and what my own good was,
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00:30:04,591 --> 00:30:07,923
and what evil
was to be avoided,
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00:30:07,956 --> 00:30:12,490
there suddenly spoke to me...
What was it?
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00:30:12,524 --> 00:30:14,889
I myself or someone else?
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00:30:14,923 --> 00:30:18,624
Inside or outside me?
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00:30:18,658 --> 00:30:23,256
This is the very thing I
would love to know, but don't.
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No.
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Hup.
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Okay! Okay!
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Good dog.
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Whoa!
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I just wanted to see the Dells.
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00:37:10,423 --> 00:37:15,291
I just wanted to see the Dells.
119
00:37:17,257 --> 00:37:21,523
I just wanted to see the Dells.
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00:37:26,091 --> 00:37:31,157
I just wanted to see the Dells.
121
00:37:33,956 --> 00:37:39,191
I just wanted to see the Dells.
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I just wanted to see the Dells.
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I'm waiting for the doctor.
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00:37:57,956 --> 00:38:01,291
I'm waiting for the doctor.
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00:38:01,323 --> 00:38:03,590
I'm waiting for the doctor.
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00:38:05,657 --> 00:38:08,157
I'm waiting for the doctor.
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00:38:08,191 --> 00:38:12,257
I'm waiting for the doctor.
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00:38:15,157 --> 00:38:16,590
Where is the doctor?
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00:38:16,623 --> 00:38:18,590
Where is the doctor?
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00:38:21,523 --> 00:38:25,357
Teach me... how to die.
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Teach me... how to die.
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Where is the doctor?
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00:38:33,623 --> 00:38:36,623
Where is the doctor?
Where is the doctor?
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00:38:36,657 --> 00:38:40,256
Where is the doctor?
Where is the doctor?
135
00:38:40,290 --> 00:38:41,390
Where is the doctor?
136
00:38:42,390 --> 00:38:44,623
Where is the doctor?
137
00:38:44,657 --> 00:38:47,191
The doctor where is...
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00:38:47,224 --> 00:38:49,024
Where is the doctor?
139
00:38:50,224 --> 00:38:51,557
The doctor...
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00:38:51,590 --> 00:38:54,590
Where is the doctor?
Where is the doctor?
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00:38:54,623 --> 00:38:58,990
- Teach me... how to die.
- Where is the doctor?
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00:38:59,990 --> 00:39:01,623
Where is the doctor?
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00:39:01,657 --> 00:39:03,357
The doctor...
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00:39:39,323 --> 00:39:40,957
I'm glad you're here.
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00:39:42,957 --> 00:39:44,290
Dad?
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00:39:46,990 --> 00:39:48,923
I just gotta get some gear.
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00:39:50,423 --> 00:39:51,490
What gear?
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00:39:54,057 --> 00:39:56,657
I promised you
I'd take you fishing.
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00:39:56,690 --> 00:39:59,590
Just gotta go get the boat
out of the garage,
150
00:39:59,623 --> 00:40:01,557
and hitch it up to the Buick,
151
00:40:01,590 --> 00:40:05,924
and head out at the crack of
dawn to old Partridge Lake.
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00:40:05,957 --> 00:40:09,457
That'd be a heck of a lot more fun
than sitting around watching TV.
153
00:40:11,423 --> 00:40:15,957
But, Dad, don't you
remember what the doctor said?
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00:40:17,423 --> 00:40:18,590
What did he say?
155
00:40:20,490 --> 00:40:21,889
He said you're dead.
156
00:40:23,924 --> 00:40:25,190
Don't listen to him.
157
00:40:29,256 --> 00:40:31,490
Tell me again,
what grade you in?
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00:40:34,690 --> 00:40:38,457
Ah, never mind.
We're going fishing.
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00:40:38,490 --> 00:40:42,590
We'll get to Fremont
before the sun comes up.
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00:40:42,623 --> 00:40:45,957
I'll lower the Alumacraft
in the water,
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00:40:45,990 --> 00:40:47,623
fill it up with gear,
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00:40:48,623 --> 00:40:53,323
poles... tackle boxes,
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00:40:53,357 --> 00:41:00,190
life preservers, an ice chest full of cheese
and bologna sandwiches, potato chips...
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00:41:01,323 --> 00:41:02,323
cookies.
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00:41:03,924 --> 00:41:07,990
A large thermos
of ice cold Hawaiian Punch.
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00:41:11,057 --> 00:41:17,457
And I'll take
the Johnson 20-horse outboard,
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put it in the water,
168
00:41:19,323 --> 00:41:22,057
and pull on the starter cord.
169
00:41:31,490 --> 00:41:33,623
I'll let you drive
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00:41:33,657 --> 00:41:37,657
till we get to
where I think the fish are.
171
00:41:37,690 --> 00:41:40,623
Where there's tree stumps
and tall reeds
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and half submerged rocks.
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00:41:43,156 --> 00:41:46,024
That's their cover,
that's where they are.
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00:41:46,057 --> 00:41:50,490
I'll hit the kill switch
on the motor.
175
00:41:50,523 --> 00:41:53,223
and we'll drift it
so we don't spook the fish.
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00:41:54,223 --> 00:41:55,957
It's so quiet.
177
00:41:58,323 --> 00:42:02,123
I'll put on my lucky mouse lure.
178
00:42:02,156 --> 00:42:04,190
A Lazy Ike for you.
179
00:42:04,223 --> 00:42:09,924
And for your brother,
a Dardevle Spoon with a pork rind skirt.
180
00:42:09,957 --> 00:42:14,423
In the stillness you can hear
the distant calls...
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00:42:15,423 --> 00:42:17,056
of the loons.
182
00:42:32,256 --> 00:42:35,223
Sounds like a woman
being strangled.
183
00:43:42,590 --> 00:43:45,056
I see a spot.
184
00:43:45,090 --> 00:43:47,457
I guess it might play
right there,
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00:43:47,490 --> 00:43:49,590
right between the lily pads.
186
00:43:51,390 --> 00:43:52,956
I let it sit...
187
00:43:54,590 --> 00:43:56,323
then I play the lure.
188
00:43:56,357 --> 00:43:58,423
Make it dance.
189
00:43:58,457 --> 00:44:02,390
Make it looks like something he
wants, something he's hungry for,
190
00:44:02,423 --> 00:44:03,490
then, bang!
191
00:44:05,523 --> 00:44:08,290
And then you set the hook,
reel him in.
192
00:49:58,090 --> 00:49:59,223
Dad...
193
00:50:05,524 --> 00:50:06,989
Scalpel.
194
00:50:26,190 --> 00:50:32,290
Respect the presence of sleep.
195
00:50:32,324 --> 00:50:34,056
That is the first thing.
196
00:50:34,090 --> 00:50:37,856
And keep away
from those who sleep badly...
197
00:50:38,956 --> 00:50:42,623
or stay awake all night.
198
00:50:42,657 --> 00:50:48,458
Modest is even the thief
in the presence of sleep.
199
00:50:48,491 --> 00:50:51,956
He walks slowly
through the night.
200
00:50:53,023 --> 00:50:56,156
Immodest is the night watcher
201
00:50:56,190 --> 00:50:58,523
with carrying his light
and horn.
202
00:51:02,023 --> 00:51:04,923
No small art is it to sleep.
203
00:51:06,190 --> 00:51:10,923
That's why we
must keep awake all day.
204
00:51:12,324 --> 00:51:16,257
Ten truths have to be found
during the day,
205
00:51:16,291 --> 00:51:19,557
otherwise your soul
will be hungry
206
00:51:19,590 --> 00:51:23,156
and search the truth at night.
207
00:51:23,190 --> 00:51:27,391
Ten times we must laugh
during the day
208
00:51:27,424 --> 00:51:29,223
and be cheerful.
209
00:51:29,257 --> 00:51:30,956
Otherwise your stomach,
210
00:51:30,989 --> 00:51:34,324
the father of affliction,
will disturb you at night.
211
00:53:15,257 --> 00:53:16,523
Friend.
212
00:53:20,989 --> 00:53:22,124
How are you?
213
00:53:23,358 --> 00:53:24,889
I'm fine.
214
00:53:24,923 --> 00:53:27,657
Who are you?
What are you doing here?
215
00:53:27,690 --> 00:53:30,358
I'm interested in
the black arts.
216
00:53:30,390 --> 00:53:32,889
They say you're
a great magician.
217
00:53:35,989 --> 00:53:39,224
- Really?
- What can you tell me?
218
00:53:39,257 --> 00:53:41,357
That there is nothing to tell.
219
00:53:43,324 --> 00:53:46,291
I'm not here
to steal from you.
220
00:53:46,324 --> 00:53:47,923
I'm here to learn.
221
00:53:49,291 --> 00:53:51,191
I came from a long way.
222
00:53:54,390 --> 00:53:56,490
Why did you come to see me?
223
00:53:59,224 --> 00:54:04,191
Because you have heard that I have once
helped people that were sick or abandoned?
224
00:54:04,224 --> 00:54:05,623
Is that it?
225
00:54:05,657 --> 00:54:06,889
How did you do it?
226
00:54:07,690 --> 00:54:09,191
With compassion.
227
00:54:11,191 --> 00:54:14,224
Just like that?
I thought it would be more difficult.
228
00:54:16,357 --> 00:54:19,056
Tell me, Professor,
229
00:54:19,091 --> 00:54:22,357
what do you
make of the black arts?
230
00:54:22,390 --> 00:54:26,856
It's an act of vanity
beneath nature, beneath science.
231
00:54:29,124 --> 00:54:32,091
You've arrived at this
through reason.
232
00:54:33,224 --> 00:54:34,856
That is your problem.
233
00:54:39,323 --> 00:54:41,023
Don't criticize me.
234
00:54:41,057 --> 00:54:44,023
You make me laugh.
235
00:54:45,023 --> 00:54:46,357
What is funny about you
236
00:54:46,390 --> 00:54:49,157
is that your reason
does not stop you.
237
00:54:50,357 --> 00:54:52,191
The secrets you want to know
238
00:54:52,224 --> 00:54:54,457
are the negative
of all knowledge.
239
00:54:54,490 --> 00:54:58,023
Your reason is an obstacle.
240
00:55:11,024 --> 00:55:13,357
It's impossible
to live without reason.
241
00:55:59,657 --> 00:56:01,557
What do you want
with me now?
242
00:56:04,690 --> 00:56:08,191
Haven't you caused everyone
enough pain?
243
00:56:08,223 --> 00:56:10,256
As much as you
cost me.
244
00:56:15,223 --> 00:56:16,590
I'm so angry.
245
00:56:20,623 --> 00:56:24,091
I'm so... angry.
246
00:56:27,357 --> 00:56:29,557
You know I thought about
getting a gun.
247
00:56:29,590 --> 00:56:31,223
To kill me?
248
00:56:32,557 --> 00:56:34,357
But no one would give me one.
249
00:56:35,957 --> 00:56:37,457
You didn't try hard enough.
250
00:56:38,590 --> 00:56:40,523
No one would help me find one.
251
00:56:40,557 --> 00:56:44,091
No, you didn't try hard enough
to understand what I did.
252
00:56:46,024 --> 00:56:48,889
I guess they were afraid
I'd use it on myself.
253
00:56:50,490 --> 00:56:51,957
You wouldn't do that.
254
00:56:58,256 --> 00:57:00,290
Why did you humiliate me?
255
00:57:02,623 --> 00:57:04,256
You didn't take care.
256
00:57:05,623 --> 00:57:07,523
You stopped paying attention,
257
00:57:07,557 --> 00:57:10,024
you made room
for bad things to happen.
258
00:57:11,957 --> 00:57:14,024
My therapist
says you're selfish.
259
00:57:14,057 --> 00:57:16,290
You need a new therapist.
260
00:57:22,124 --> 00:57:25,990
- You destroyed my life.
- We destroyed our life.
261
00:57:27,557 --> 00:57:29,856
We became coarse
with each other.
262
00:57:32,223 --> 00:57:34,890
Guilt isn't something
to be shared.
263
00:57:36,323 --> 00:57:40,123
The only thing I'm guilty of
is loving you too much.
264
00:57:43,024 --> 00:57:44,523
Tell that to your son.
265
00:57:47,557 --> 00:57:48,890
Is he here?
266
00:58:15,557 --> 00:58:21,156
You know, the only thing I'm
guilty of is loving you too much.
267
00:58:21,190 --> 00:58:22,423
You know that, right?
268
00:59:06,256 --> 00:59:07,457
Hey.
269
01:02:01,317 --> 01:02:04,704
Mm.
270
01:02:37,982 --> 01:02:42,281
Clint, you look so tired.
271
01:02:43,782 --> 01:02:46,581
I walked all the way home.
272
01:02:46,615 --> 01:02:50,381
Yeah, all the way
from the school.
273
01:02:50,414 --> 01:02:52,448
Yes, I waited for you.
274
01:02:52,481 --> 01:02:54,581
I would have picked you up.
275
01:02:54,615 --> 01:02:56,681
- No.
- Oh, yes.
276
01:02:56,715 --> 01:03:00,648
- No, that's what you always say.
- I would have come.
277
01:03:00,681 --> 01:03:03,882
I wait, and I wait, and I wait,
and you never come.
278
01:03:03,915 --> 01:03:08,414
I come.
I would have come.
279
01:03:08,448 --> 01:03:09,448
Mm.
280
01:03:10,915 --> 01:03:12,548
Clint...
281
01:03:17,748 --> 01:03:20,414
Mom, I'm sorry.
282
01:03:21,414 --> 01:03:22,615
For what?
283
01:03:24,548 --> 01:03:26,615
That I wasn't there
at the end.
284
01:03:27,681 --> 01:03:31,782
It's all right,
you were busy.
285
01:03:38,348 --> 01:03:41,049
You're all...
286
01:03:41,083 --> 01:03:47,049
equal in-in
attention to the family
287
01:03:47,083 --> 01:03:50,049
and that's really wonderful
288
01:03:50,083 --> 01:03:52,915
'cause you might
get one that's lazy
289
01:03:52,948 --> 01:03:55,748
and doesn't want to
get up and go and...
290
01:03:55,782 --> 01:03:58,314
Well... we could...
291
01:04:00,016 --> 01:04:02,414
This is...
listen, you're gonna age.
292
01:04:02,448 --> 01:04:07,314
And then I thought, "Oh, that's...
No, we shouldn't do that."
293
01:04:07,348 --> 01:04:09,715
And right about that time...
294
01:04:10,715 --> 01:04:13,648
I think that was...
295
01:04:48,049 --> 01:04:51,348
Hey, get off the horse.
296
01:06:38,414 --> 01:06:39,648
Who are you?
297
01:06:41,016 --> 01:06:42,615
Who am I?
298
01:06:43,615 --> 01:06:46,414
It doesn't matter.
299
01:06:46,448 --> 01:06:48,916
You don't need to know
who I am to talk to me.
300
01:06:52,949 --> 01:06:57,348
You seem to be a disciple
of the black arts,
301
01:06:57,381 --> 01:07:00,715
a student of heretics
and non-believers.
302
01:07:03,983 --> 01:07:05,949
Don't tell me who I am
303
01:07:05,983 --> 01:07:08,481
when you're struggling
to know who you are.
304
01:07:11,481 --> 01:07:12,949
What are you hiding?
305
01:07:16,481 --> 01:07:19,816
You are sincere, well-meaning.
306
01:07:21,048 --> 01:07:23,515
Do you think
that makes you a saint?
307
01:07:26,515 --> 01:07:29,715
I believe in right and wrong,
but I am no saint.
308
01:07:33,414 --> 01:07:37,783
Okay, don't be
so hard on yourself or me.
309
01:07:37,816 --> 01:07:42,314
You are not a saint,
so be human.
310
01:07:43,615 --> 01:07:46,615
Enjoy, fuck up.
311
01:07:47,783 --> 01:07:52,015
Shake your ass, dance.
312
01:10:57,048 --> 01:10:58,915
Whoa!
313
01:15:22,715 --> 01:15:24,615
Whoa!
314
01:15:25,982 --> 01:15:27,715
Whoa!
315
01:25:12,712 --> 01:25:17,712
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