1 00:00:01,536 --> 00:00:02,236 [upbeat rock music] 2 00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:04,216 - So this is what a gym looks like. 3 00:00:04,215 --> 00:00:06,045 - Yes, and this is right near my apartment. 4 00:00:06,050 --> 00:00:08,320 Can you believe it? Honestly, if instead of showers, 5 00:00:08,319 --> 00:00:10,289 they had the Hemsworth brothers just spitting at you 6 00:00:10,288 --> 00:00:12,688 and calling you a dirty whore, it’d be too good to be true. 7 00:00:12,690 --> 00:00:14,430 - How many gyms have you belonged to at this point? 8 00:00:14,425 --> 00:00:16,825 - I’ve lost count. You know, I get a membership, 9 00:00:16,827 --> 00:00:18,927 and then I hook up with a guy in the steam room, 10 00:00:18,929 --> 00:00:21,169 and then we hang out, and then I realize that he’s lame, 11 00:00:21,165 --> 00:00:24,565 and I ghost him, and it’s too awkward to ever go back. 12 00:00:24,568 --> 00:00:27,708 - Those loser guys are keeping you from your optimal health. 13 00:00:27,705 --> 00:00:29,105 - Well, some might say it’s my penchant 14 00:00:29,107 --> 00:00:31,207 for anonymous sex that is to blame. 15 00:00:31,209 --> 00:00:33,909 I just worry that my slutty phase has gone on so long 16 00:00:33,911 --> 00:00:35,811 that I literally don’t know how to date. 17 00:00:35,813 --> 00:00:37,483 - Mm. - Do you think Anne Hathaway 18 00:00:37,481 --> 00:00:39,081 has this same conversation? 19 00:00:39,083 --> 00:00:41,253 - You know, I have a theory that she was born without a clitoris. 20 00:00:41,252 --> 00:00:44,062 - Mm. That explains "The Intern." 21 00:00:44,055 --> 00:00:47,985 - Julie? Hi! - Ooh, hey, hi, Heather. 22 00:00:47,992 --> 00:00:49,192 - Isn’t this gym awesome? 23 00:00:49,193 --> 00:00:50,663 - Um, Billy, do you remember Heather? 24 00:00:50,661 --> 00:00:52,931 She’s another recapper. - Oh, okay. 25 00:00:52,930 --> 00:00:54,970 - Not anymore. Guess who just got hired 26 00:00:54,965 --> 00:00:56,795 onto the writing staff of "Horse." 27 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,970 - Oh, "Horse." Is that that Netflix show 28 00:00:58,969 --> 00:01:00,939 about the single mom who sells heroin... 29 00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:02,938 - To support her trans-child’s horseback riding hobby? 30 00:01:02,940 --> 00:01:04,280 - Well... - Yeah. 31 00:01:04,275 --> 00:01:06,005 - Winner Best Comedy two years in a row. 32 00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:08,280 - When did comedies become 30-minute dramas? 33 00:01:08,279 --> 00:01:11,019 - It’s such important work. - Mm. 34 00:01:11,015 --> 00:01:13,715 - I can’t tell you how good it feels to write TV 35 00:01:13,717 --> 00:01:15,717 instead of just recapping it. 36 00:01:15,719 --> 00:01:17,059 - And yet you just sort of did. 37 00:01:17,055 --> 00:01:19,155 [both laugh] How’d you get the job? 38 00:01:19,157 --> 00:01:22,227 - Oh, I met the creator, Lilith Feigenbaum, at synagogue, 39 00:01:22,226 --> 00:01:25,256 and she invited me to join this group she belongs to, 40 00:01:25,263 --> 00:01:27,173 and the rest is herstory. 41 00:01:27,165 --> 00:01:30,625 Well, take care. - Thanks. Bye. 42 00:01:30,634 --> 00:01:36,774 - Oh, and your "OC Reunion" recap was such goofy fun! Bye! 43 00:01:36,774 --> 00:01:38,344 - Jesus Christ, I’m having feelings. 44 00:01:38,342 --> 00:01:41,082 I want my sundae back. - Sorry, ma’am, I threw it out. 45 00:01:41,079 --> 00:01:42,749 - What is this, a concentration camp? 46 00:01:42,746 --> 00:01:44,016 Do you at least have any vending machines 47 00:01:44,015 --> 00:01:45,515 or some complimentary popcorn? 48 00:01:45,516 --> 00:01:47,546 - Just a vegan smoothie bar. 49 00:01:47,551 --> 00:01:48,891 - Bloom is off the rose on this dump. 50 00:01:48,886 --> 00:01:50,186 - I don’t understand. 51 00:01:50,188 --> 00:01:51,658 What does Heather have that you don’t? 52 00:01:51,655 --> 00:01:54,055 - A connection to Lilith Feigenbaum. 53 00:01:54,058 --> 00:01:55,628 Of course they met at synagogue. 54 00:01:55,626 --> 00:01:58,056 You know that that group she’s talking about is Refutz. 55 00:01:58,062 --> 00:01:59,762 - Refutz. They act like it’s a secret. 56 00:01:59,763 --> 00:02:01,173 Meanwhile everyone knows what it is. 57 00:02:01,165 --> 00:02:03,165 - And they have their schmoozey Shabbat dinners, 58 00:02:03,167 --> 00:02:05,337 and they all get each other entertainment jobs. 59 00:02:05,336 --> 00:02:08,806 And it’s stupid because no one’s ever asked me to join. 60 00:02:08,806 --> 00:02:10,136 - Well, we have to get you invited, then. 61 00:02:10,141 --> 00:02:12,281 Go to synagogue. Pray or whatever. 62 00:02:12,276 --> 00:02:14,676 - Using God and religion to get a staffing job? 63 00:02:14,678 --> 00:02:17,278 I mean, can I really sink that low? 64 00:02:17,281 --> 00:02:20,221 [both laugh] 65 00:02:21,819 --> 00:02:24,059 - All right, look, I’m gonna go work out. 66 00:02:24,055 --> 00:02:26,185 Tell me not to blow this gym by blowing any members. 67 00:02:26,190 --> 00:02:27,530 - You can do it. 68 00:02:27,525 --> 00:02:28,785 Tell me me not to eat my weight in Charleston Chews. 69 00:02:28,792 --> 00:02:30,892 - You can do it. 70 00:02:30,894 --> 00:02:33,564 [romantic flute music] 71 00:02:33,564 --> 00:02:36,204 Oh, fuck. 72 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,100 Ohh, fuck. 73 00:02:38,102 --> 00:02:39,202 ♪ ♪ 74 00:02:39,203 --> 00:02:41,043 - Oh. 75 00:02:41,039 --> 00:02:43,139 ♪ ♪ 76 00:02:43,141 --> 00:02:44,381 [moans] 77 00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:46,305 - [moans] 78 00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:49,180 [chuckles] 79 00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:50,510 ♪ ♪ 80 00:02:50,514 --> 00:02:53,524 [driving punk rock music] 81 00:02:53,517 --> 00:02:54,887 ♪ ♪ 82 00:02:54,885 --> 00:02:57,685 - Oh. - Hey. 83 00:02:57,688 --> 00:02:59,858 - We meet again. - I’m Billy. 84 00:02:59,857 --> 00:03:02,557 - And my name’s Cecil. - That was fun. 85 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,400 - You know, I’d love to, uh, 86 00:03:04,395 --> 00:03:06,695 go for another spin sometime if... 87 00:03:06,697 --> 00:03:08,767 - Yeah, sure. Maybe. 88 00:03:08,766 --> 00:03:11,896 - Why don’t I we get dressed and we’ll meet outside or... 89 00:03:11,902 --> 00:03:13,842 - Okay. - All right. 90 00:03:13,837 --> 00:03:14,837 - All right. - Very good. 91 00:03:14,838 --> 00:03:15,968 - All right. 92 00:03:17,275 --> 00:03:19,575 - Ah. 93 00:03:19,577 --> 00:03:21,247 Ah. 94 00:03:21,245 --> 00:03:23,775 - Oh. Much different with clothes. 95 00:03:23,781 --> 00:03:26,621 - Ah, well. Sorry for the wait, chum. 96 00:03:26,617 --> 00:03:30,347 Bup-bup-bup-bum. - Oh. 97 00:03:30,354 --> 00:03:32,364 You’re an old-timey. 98 00:03:32,356 --> 00:03:34,886 I read about you guys in the Sunday Styles section. 99 00:03:34,892 --> 00:03:36,292 Guilty as charged. 100 00:03:36,294 --> 00:03:39,034 May I interest you in a confection, good sir? 101 00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:40,600 - Oh, wow, you really commit to this. 102 00:03:40,598 --> 00:03:41,728 - Yeah. - [laughs] 103 00:03:41,732 --> 00:03:43,772 Um... 104 00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:46,697 Shit. - What are we doing? 105 00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,274 Do you owe a sum? Are you a debtor? 106 00:03:48,272 --> 00:03:50,042 - No, no, no, it’s just, there’s a guy I used 107 00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:52,081 to work out with at my old gym, and now I can’t.... 108 00:03:52,076 --> 00:03:54,446 - Can’t what? - I can’t do what I always do. 109 00:03:54,445 --> 00:03:59,045 Um... God, this gym is too nice not for me to give this a try. 110 00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:00,780 Do you want to go to dinner tomorrow night? 111 00:04:00,784 --> 00:04:04,094 - I do... very much! 112 00:04:04,088 --> 00:04:05,288 - Great. 113 00:04:05,289 --> 00:04:06,489 - Till then, then. 114 00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:08,330 - Till then, then. 115 00:04:08,326 --> 00:04:10,086 - Be well, Billy. 116 00:04:10,961 --> 00:04:12,961 Up, up, and away. 117 00:04:12,963 --> 00:04:15,033 And... we’re off! 118 00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:17,573 - Oh, great, I just fucked Steamboat Willie. 119 00:04:17,568 --> 00:04:20,568 [upbeat music] 120 00:04:20,571 --> 00:04:22,711 - Medium-talent Jewish bitch. 121 00:04:22,706 --> 00:04:24,936 - Thin Mint, stop yelling at yourself in the mirror. 122 00:04:24,942 --> 00:04:26,442 It confuses the dogs. - It’s not me. 123 00:04:26,444 --> 00:04:28,454 It’s this girl Heather I work with. 124 00:04:28,446 --> 00:04:31,276 She got to quit recapping to go write for "Horse." 125 00:04:31,282 --> 00:04:33,622 - "Horse"? It’s a very important show. 126 00:04:33,617 --> 00:04:36,047 - Whatever. So now she writes for "Horse," 127 00:04:36,054 --> 00:04:38,994 and where does that leave me? Lonely single recapper? 128 00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:40,590 - Uh, noodles, couple of flags raised-- 129 00:04:40,591 --> 00:04:43,131 - You know what I mean. I just want to be doing more. 130 00:04:43,127 --> 00:04:45,197 I’m tired of watching everybody around me 131 00:04:45,196 --> 00:04:47,996 ascend to stardom while I atrophy and wither. 132 00:04:47,999 --> 00:04:50,969 - Are any of us really doing what we want, Vitamix? 133 00:04:50,968 --> 00:04:54,138 I mean, just today, the Helena Rubenstein Foundation 134 00:04:54,138 --> 00:04:57,238 got up my can about creating a sexy spin-off 135 00:04:57,241 --> 00:05:00,011 of "Antiques Roadshow." - That’s disgusting. 136 00:05:00,011 --> 00:05:02,111 Every antique dealer is a creep. 137 00:05:02,113 --> 00:05:04,483 They always have that one back room full of racist 138 00:05:04,482 --> 00:05:07,152 paraphernalia and Nazi shit. - Really? 139 00:05:07,151 --> 00:05:08,491 - With just the right nod and wink, 140 00:05:08,486 --> 00:05:10,816 those heirloom swappers will be showing you 141 00:05:10,821 --> 00:05:13,261 swastika cufflinks on a mammy doll. 142 00:05:13,257 --> 00:05:14,957 - Well, we are casting a wide net 143 00:05:14,958 --> 00:05:16,728 to find sexy antique dealers, 144 00:05:16,727 --> 00:05:18,797 but we might just have to end up hiring more trolls 145 00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:20,326 to appraise sexy heirlooms. 146 00:05:20,331 --> 00:05:22,071 - Oh, I see what you’re trying to do. 147 00:05:22,066 --> 00:05:24,036 You’re trying to cheer me up with your little story. 148 00:05:24,035 --> 00:05:25,565 - Actually thought I was sharing a real issue 149 00:05:25,569 --> 00:05:26,799 that I’m trying to work through, but that’s fine. 150 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,114 - But it’s not working. 151 00:05:28,106 --> 00:05:29,566 Lilith Feigenbaum should have met me. 152 00:05:29,573 --> 00:05:32,013 I would have been the perfect Refutz candidate. 153 00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:33,740 Nobody’s more Jewish than I am, Arthur. 154 00:05:33,744 --> 00:05:36,154 I mean, culturally. - I’ll drink to that. 155 00:05:36,147 --> 00:05:37,847 - I’m even making a Shiva Call tonight 156 00:05:37,848 --> 00:05:39,848 with my mom, who guilted me into it. 157 00:05:39,850 --> 00:05:41,320 - Who passed away? 158 00:05:41,319 --> 00:05:43,689 - Oh, her tennis partner, Eileen Rosenstreitch. 159 00:05:43,687 --> 00:05:45,017 She dropped dead on the court. 160 00:05:45,023 --> 00:05:47,293 - Were they close? - They were, like, 4-4. 161 00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:48,991 My mom swears they were about to win. 162 00:05:48,993 --> 00:05:51,263 She’s fucking furious. 163 00:05:52,563 --> 00:05:54,433 Mom, hi. 164 00:05:54,432 --> 00:05:57,172 I’m so sorry for your loss. - Thank you. 165 00:05:57,168 --> 00:05:59,268 Although, technically it was a tie. 166 00:05:59,270 --> 00:06:04,380 We came so close to beating those fucking Sokol twins. 167 00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:05,905 They’re like the Williams sisters 168 00:06:05,909 --> 00:06:07,209 of the Sycamore Country Club, 169 00:06:07,211 --> 00:06:09,211 except, you know, allowed to join. 170 00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:11,923 Oh, Julie, you know what the saddest part was? 171 00:06:11,915 --> 00:06:13,215 - Watching your friend die? 172 00:06:13,217 --> 00:06:15,087 - Eileen didn’t have a will. 173 00:06:15,086 --> 00:06:17,816 The estate lawyer had to donate everything to charity. 174 00:06:17,821 --> 00:06:20,091 - I’m sorry, did I miss something? Why is that sad? 175 00:06:20,091 --> 00:06:22,431 - It was a pro-Palestinian charity. 176 00:06:22,426 --> 00:06:24,396 Eileen’s opal brooch is probably 177 00:06:24,395 --> 00:06:26,625 now on the suit lapel of some Arafat. 178 00:06:26,630 --> 00:06:29,400 I need a will, or this could wind up happening to me. 179 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,600 - So write a will. - I don’t have a lawyer. 180 00:06:31,602 --> 00:06:33,472 Ever since Star Jones stopped coming to me 181 00:06:33,471 --> 00:06:34,911 for her food addiction. 182 00:06:34,905 --> 00:06:37,305 - Mom, you have to stop telling me who your patients are. 183 00:06:37,308 --> 00:06:39,078 - You sound just like Catherine Zeta-Jones 184 00:06:39,077 --> 00:06:41,347 when I tried to help her with her bipolar two. 185 00:06:41,345 --> 00:06:44,215 - Ah, yes, bipolar two, the squeakuel. 186 00:06:44,215 --> 00:06:46,645 - I was thinking maybe I should buy a camera. 187 00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:48,850 You know that video will thing. 188 00:06:48,852 --> 00:06:50,322 That’s a thing, isn’t it? 189 00:06:50,321 --> 00:06:51,891 - It was in "Brewster’s Millions." 190 00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,889 I mean, I don’t know if they still do it, but seems-- 191 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,191 - Hello, Marilyn. 192 00:06:55,193 --> 00:06:57,263 Very kind of you to pay respects. 193 00:06:57,261 --> 00:06:59,131 - Indeed. Indeed. Thank you. 194 00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:01,670 That was a beautiful eulogy, Rabbi. 195 00:07:01,665 --> 00:07:03,325 This is my daughter, Julie. 196 00:07:03,334 --> 00:07:05,974 - Julie, hello. - Hi. 197 00:07:05,969 --> 00:07:09,209 Wow, eulogies, like the ultimate recap, huh? 198 00:07:09,207 --> 00:07:11,807 Hey, Rabbi, have you heard of this group called Refutz? 199 00:07:11,809 --> 00:07:14,779 - Of course. I have some Refutz people in my congregation. 200 00:07:14,778 --> 00:07:18,078 They always come on Friday nights, but I’m not a fan. 201 00:07:18,082 --> 00:07:21,652 It’s less of a spiritual group than it is for high-powered Jews 202 00:07:21,652 --> 00:07:23,252 in show business to network. 203 00:07:23,254 --> 00:07:25,924 - Wow, that sounds really cynical and awful. 204 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,833 - Mm. 205 00:07:27,825 --> 00:07:30,085 - So Friday nights, then? 206 00:07:32,630 --> 00:07:34,330 - I don’t see a single person from Refutz. 207 00:07:34,332 --> 00:07:35,732 I swear to God, if I go to synagogue 208 00:07:35,733 --> 00:07:37,573 and I don’t make a show business connection, 209 00:07:37,568 --> 00:07:39,568 I’m gonna fucking kill myself with a chain saw. 210 00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:41,940 - Oh, please, then you’d have to go to Home Depot. 211 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,709 Look, I have to go to my date soon. 212 00:07:43,707 --> 00:07:45,507 - Who is this guy? - Cecil. 213 00:07:45,509 --> 00:07:48,449 Although I vowed to remain as celibate as Tim Gunn, 214 00:07:48,446 --> 00:07:50,606 I ended up meeting this guy in the steam room at the gym, 215 00:07:50,614 --> 00:07:53,084 and then we ended up having a very lovely time 216 00:07:53,084 --> 00:07:55,294 doing some very filthy things to each other. 217 00:07:55,286 --> 00:07:58,486 - When Republicans are right about the things gay men do, 218 00:07:58,489 --> 00:07:59,619 my heart swells. 219 00:07:59,623 --> 00:08:02,393 - But, Julie, he’s an old-timey. 220 00:08:02,393 --> 00:08:03,463 - What? 221 00:08:03,461 --> 00:08:06,001 That’s the worst of all Brooklyn trends. 222 00:08:05,997 --> 00:08:07,567 - And that’s a very high bar. 223 00:08:07,565 --> 00:08:09,425 So now I have to add him to a list of guys 224 00:08:09,433 --> 00:08:10,773 that I’ve hit and quit 225 00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:12,338 and somehow try to find 226 00:08:12,336 --> 00:08:13,836 the last remaining gym in New York City 227 00:08:13,837 --> 00:08:16,067 I haven’t ruined for myself, which is probably 228 00:08:16,074 --> 00:08:17,614 the Curves on Staten Island. 229 00:08:17,608 --> 00:08:20,238 - What if you break up with him gracefully? 230 00:08:20,244 --> 00:08:22,714 Maybe you could be friends later. 231 00:08:22,713 --> 00:08:24,953 - ♪ Shabbat Shalom, hey ♪ 232 00:08:24,948 --> 00:08:27,248 ♪ Shabbat Shalom, hey ♪ 233 00:08:27,251 --> 00:08:29,221 - I’m out. - Good luck breaking up. 234 00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:30,790 - Thank you. I’ll need it. 235 00:08:30,788 --> 00:08:34,258 - Julie, I didn’t know you went to shul. 236 00:08:34,258 --> 00:08:36,088 - I’m not too cool for shul. 237 00:08:36,094 --> 00:08:37,564 - How’s recapping? 238 00:08:37,561 --> 00:08:39,261 - Oh, you know. Same old, same old. 239 00:08:39,263 --> 00:08:41,133 You watch something. You write something about it. 240 00:08:41,132 --> 00:08:43,372 25 weeks later, you get a check for $6. 241 00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:45,097 - Oh, meet my friends. This is Lilith. 242 00:08:45,103 --> 00:08:46,673 - Lilith Feigenbaum! 243 00:08:46,670 --> 00:08:50,570 You are one of my favorite top ten female showrunners. 244 00:08:50,574 --> 00:08:52,284 And since there’s only three of you, 245 00:08:52,276 --> 00:08:55,146 you’re basically my top six. - Thank you. 246 00:08:55,146 --> 00:08:58,216 - Anyway, Shabbat Shalom. - Shabbat Shalom. 247 00:09:01,285 --> 00:09:03,345 You know, I’m just sitting here thinking about, 248 00:09:03,354 --> 00:09:05,224 you know, where I’m gonna go for Shabbat dinner 249 00:09:05,223 --> 00:09:07,633 after this because, um... 250 00:09:07,625 --> 00:09:10,255 my mom’s best friend died... both: Aw. 251 00:09:10,261 --> 00:09:12,101 - In front of her. Yeah. 252 00:09:12,096 --> 00:09:13,656 So I can’t go there. 253 00:09:13,664 --> 00:09:16,234 Anyway, it’s great meeting you. 254 00:09:16,234 --> 00:09:18,974 Great seeing you. 255 00:09:18,969 --> 00:09:21,609 - Wait, Lilith can Julie join us? 256 00:09:21,605 --> 00:09:24,805 - Why not? I’m only a 20 minute walk away. 257 00:09:24,808 --> 00:09:26,978 - A 20 minute what now with who’s this? 258 00:09:26,977 --> 00:09:29,807 - Say, Billy, why don’t you come in for a nightcap? 259 00:09:29,813 --> 00:09:31,253 - Oh, you know what, Cecil? 260 00:09:31,249 --> 00:09:34,589 Uh, here’s the thing, and this is not easy 261 00:09:34,585 --> 00:09:38,315 for me to say, so I prepared a little speech. 262 00:09:38,322 --> 00:09:39,862 - Good evening, Mr. Jellford. 263 00:09:39,857 --> 00:09:41,887 May I take your coat? - Hotchkiss, please, 264 00:09:41,892 --> 00:09:44,302 my guest has something to say. - Certainly. 265 00:09:44,295 --> 00:09:47,295 I’ll just put the Veuve on ice and run your bath. 266 00:09:47,298 --> 00:09:49,198 - Good man. Good man. 267 00:09:52,503 --> 00:09:54,873 - I’m sorry, one thing we never covered, 268 00:09:54,872 --> 00:09:56,172 what do you do for a living? 269 00:09:56,174 --> 00:09:57,584 - Well, I fancy acquiring and selling 270 00:09:57,575 --> 00:09:59,575 little knick knacks from yesteryear, 271 00:09:59,577 --> 00:10:00,807 but the majority of my money 272 00:10:00,811 --> 00:10:02,481 does come from the family business. 273 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,450 - Which is? - Uh, Jellford? 274 00:10:04,448 --> 00:10:06,448 Jellford Jelly Beans? 275 00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:08,490 They’re small, bean shaped candies 276 00:10:08,486 --> 00:10:10,616 with a sweet taste-- - I know what jelly beans are. 277 00:10:10,621 --> 00:10:12,961 - Well, did you know it’s a billion dollar industry? 278 00:10:12,956 --> 00:10:17,096 Sugar is recession-proof. Just ask my two story closet. 279 00:10:17,095 --> 00:10:18,655 - Oh, really? 280 00:10:18,662 --> 00:10:20,932 - Now, you had a rehearsed speech of some kind to give? 281 00:10:20,931 --> 00:10:23,531 - I was just gonna say, I think it’s sexy 282 00:10:23,534 --> 00:10:25,304 that you dress like someone who could can still 283 00:10:25,303 --> 00:10:26,643 get the Measles. 284 00:10:26,637 --> 00:10:28,767 Way before Jenny McCarthy was even born! 285 00:10:32,143 --> 00:10:33,583 - How’re you feeling, Julie? 286 00:10:33,577 --> 00:10:35,777 Have you cooled off a bit since we got inside? 287 00:10:35,779 --> 00:10:37,349 - [exhales sharply] Yes, thank you. 288 00:10:37,348 --> 00:10:40,548 I just... remind me why we walk again? 289 00:10:40,551 --> 00:10:42,491 - It’s part of our Unplugged tradition 290 00:10:42,486 --> 00:10:45,416 that we love to do every Shabbat at Refutz. 291 00:10:45,423 --> 00:10:48,263 - Refutz? What’s that? 292 00:10:48,259 --> 00:10:49,289 I’m intrigued! 293 00:10:49,293 --> 00:10:51,163 - Well, from Friday at sundown 294 00:10:51,162 --> 00:10:53,032 to Saturday at sundown, 295 00:10:53,031 --> 00:10:54,731 we put our cell phones away, 296 00:10:54,732 --> 00:10:56,002 we turn off our TVs, 297 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,500 we walk instead of drive. 298 00:10:57,501 --> 00:10:58,801 And, I have to tell you, it has made me 299 00:10:58,802 --> 00:11:00,702 a much better writer. 300 00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:03,514 - How does unplugging make you a better writer? 301 00:11:03,507 --> 00:11:06,577 - We just like to interact with people face-to-face. 302 00:11:06,577 --> 00:11:08,807 Listen, why don’t you give it 24 hours? 303 00:11:08,812 --> 00:11:10,912 What have you got to lose? - Well, I got to say, 304 00:11:10,914 --> 00:11:13,224 usually this would be something I make fun of, 305 00:11:13,217 --> 00:11:15,687 like Robin Wright’s sleepwear line, 306 00:11:15,686 --> 00:11:18,086 or the notion of having a core, but... 307 00:11:18,089 --> 00:11:19,819 why not? I’ll try it. 308 00:11:19,823 --> 00:11:22,793 - And on Saturday we get back together and have another meal 309 00:11:22,793 --> 00:11:25,463 where we discuss all the ideas we’ve been thinking about 310 00:11:25,463 --> 00:11:28,473 while we were offline. Who wants to host this week? 311 00:11:28,466 --> 00:11:30,966 - Oh, oh, let me! My boyfriend’s a great cook. 312 00:11:30,968 --> 00:11:32,338 - You have a boyfriend? 313 00:11:32,336 --> 00:11:36,136 [upbeat music] 314 00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:37,380 - I don’t understand, though. 315 00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:38,575 Who turns the lights on and off? 316 00:11:38,576 --> 00:11:39,836 Who turns on the television? 317 00:11:39,843 --> 00:11:42,283 - Arthur. He’s my Shabbos Goy! 318 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,850 - I certainly am, kiddush cup. 319 00:11:43,847 --> 00:11:45,417 - You remember that from Hebrew School? 320 00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:47,046 The ultimate loophole. 321 00:11:47,051 --> 00:11:48,891 If you need something plugged in on Shabbos, 322 00:11:48,886 --> 00:11:50,916 as long as the person isn’t Jewish, you’re home free. 323 00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:52,661 - So he just does anything you ask? 324 00:11:52,656 --> 00:11:54,956 Sure, watch. Arthur, check my Twitter. 325 00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:56,388 - Oh, this’ll be fun. 326 00:11:56,394 --> 00:11:58,764 Oh, noodles, the Wi-Fi’s still not working. 327 00:11:58,762 --> 00:12:00,602 - Just hop on the neighbor’s. I use it all the time. 328 00:12:00,598 --> 00:12:02,028 There’s no password. It’s, um... 329 00:12:02,033 --> 00:12:04,673 “HitlerHadSomeGoodIdeas." All one word, lowercase. 330 00:12:04,668 --> 00:12:07,108 - Stealing a Neo-Nazi’s Wi-Fi is the ultimate way 331 00:12:07,105 --> 00:12:08,405 to stick it to Hitler! 332 00:12:08,406 --> 00:12:09,906 - Ah, speed round, someone on Twitter says, 333 00:12:09,907 --> 00:12:12,277 "I had a theory you were born without a clitoris. 334 00:12:12,276 --> 00:12:14,776 "Eat a bag of"--Well, it doesn’t matter what he said. 335 00:12:14,778 --> 00:12:17,018 Tell you what, since I’m in charge of the Internet, 336 00:12:17,015 --> 00:12:19,815 why don’t I filter out any of the toxins 337 00:12:19,817 --> 00:12:21,517 that might adversely affect your mood. 338 00:12:21,519 --> 00:12:23,289 - Great. - Wow. This is the best. 339 00:12:23,287 --> 00:12:25,787 He does all that, you just sit here quietly on the couch, 340 00:12:25,789 --> 00:12:27,929 nursing your creative genius. - I know, right? 341 00:12:27,925 --> 00:12:33,355 Arthur, Google my name only read me glowing praise. 342 00:12:33,364 --> 00:12:37,804 Scrolling, scrolling. 343 00:12:37,801 --> 00:12:42,171 [upbeat music] 344 00:12:42,173 --> 00:12:43,513 - “Congratulations. 345 00:12:43,507 --> 00:12:45,837 "You are now the owner of the Fonda 5000, 346 00:12:45,843 --> 00:12:48,613 "the exclusive camera used by the Netflix series, 347 00:12:48,612 --> 00:12:50,182 "’Grace & Frankie.’ 348 00:12:50,181 --> 00:12:51,721 "Sony, in collaboration with Chevrolet, 349 00:12:51,715 --> 00:12:54,415 "have partnered to give a woman the best gift of all: 350 00:12:54,418 --> 00:12:55,918 "her youngest self. 351 00:12:55,919 --> 00:12:59,359 Step one: preparing the lenses." 352 00:12:59,357 --> 00:13:01,057 Okay. 353 00:13:01,059 --> 00:13:03,489 [doorbell rings] 354 00:13:03,494 --> 00:13:05,904 [knock at door] 355 00:13:07,931 --> 00:13:10,601 - Hi, I’m Tina Fey. - And? 356 00:13:10,601 --> 00:13:15,341 - Uh, I’m Tina Fey, writer and actor. 357 00:13:15,339 --> 00:13:17,879 "SNL," "30 Rock," 358 00:13:17,875 --> 00:13:20,175 "Mean Girls,"-- - What do you want, dear? 359 00:13:20,178 --> 00:13:24,078 Well, I know you said no to the six production assistants 360 00:13:24,082 --> 00:13:27,192 that I sent to ask, but I’m directing an episode 361 00:13:27,185 --> 00:13:30,245 of "The Blacklist," which is a dream come true, 362 00:13:30,254 --> 00:13:33,994 of my agent’s and so I really need James Spader 363 00:13:33,992 --> 00:13:36,432 to cry on the steps of your brownstone. 364 00:13:36,427 --> 00:13:39,197 - Okay, I have no idea what any of that means, 365 00:13:39,197 --> 00:13:40,857 but did you say you direct? 366 00:13:40,864 --> 00:13:43,234 - Yeah, actually I didn’t realize that I was a director 367 00:13:43,234 --> 00:13:45,044 until this opportunity came up, ’cause, you know, 368 00:13:45,036 --> 00:13:46,566 back in Chicago-- - Bap bap bap bap. 369 00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:48,440 A simple "yes" would have done the trick. 370 00:13:48,439 --> 00:13:49,609 Director. 371 00:13:49,607 --> 00:13:51,677 Do me a small favor, Trina? 372 00:13:51,675 --> 00:13:53,135 - Tina. - Tina. Tina. Tina. 373 00:13:53,144 --> 00:13:54,854 - The human name, Tina. Yes. 374 00:13:54,845 --> 00:13:57,245 - I wonder if you can do me a small favor, Tina, 375 00:13:57,248 --> 00:14:00,118 I wonder if you can help me shoot my video will. 376 00:14:00,118 --> 00:14:03,548 - Oh, I’m sorry, we have a really full day. 377 00:14:03,554 --> 00:14:06,664 You know, James Spader wears a 75 piece suit 378 00:14:06,657 --> 00:14:08,987 and I have to approve every piece. 379 00:14:08,993 --> 00:14:11,033 So, I can’t help. - Isn’t that something? 380 00:14:11,029 --> 00:14:13,029 So, you want to use my steps, but you don’t want 381 00:14:13,031 --> 00:14:16,571 to help a woman who, as spry and self-lubricating as she is, 382 00:14:16,567 --> 00:14:18,997 needs to videotape her will so she can drop dead 383 00:14:19,003 --> 00:14:20,143 at any moment? 384 00:14:20,138 --> 00:14:22,168 - Wait, is that a Fonda 5000? 385 00:14:22,173 --> 00:14:23,743 - Yes, why? Do you know it? 386 00:14:23,741 --> 00:14:25,381 - Uh, yeah, of course I know it. 387 00:14:25,376 --> 00:14:27,976 I’m kind of a gearhead. Wow, any chance you’d let me 388 00:14:27,978 --> 00:14:30,478 fool around with it? - Absolutely. 389 00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:32,551 Can I get you coffee? Or day wine? 390 00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:34,420 - Day wine! both: Yes! 391 00:14:35,619 --> 00:14:37,859 - I hate this dress, it’s so itchy. 392 00:14:37,855 --> 00:14:39,415 - Lightbulb, I thought you were allergic to wool? 393 00:14:39,423 --> 00:14:41,763 - It’s Eileen Fisher, it’s just for one day, 394 00:14:41,759 --> 00:14:43,229 all those people wear stuff like this. 395 00:14:43,227 --> 00:14:44,727 It’ll be fine. 396 00:14:44,728 --> 00:14:46,498 - I appreciate you coming with me to the grocery store. 397 00:14:46,497 --> 00:14:47,967 I can’t believe I forgot Gefilte Fish? 398 00:14:47,965 --> 00:14:49,525 I’m such a fucking asshole. 399 00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:52,743 - Facebook refresh. - Okay... 400 00:14:52,736 --> 00:14:56,836 Oh, 27 new comments on your profile photo. 401 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,380 - Excuse me. 402 00:14:58,376 --> 00:15:00,936 Is your internet in this building slow 403 00:15:00,944 --> 00:15:02,314 as is mine slow? 404 00:15:02,313 --> 00:15:06,453 - Nope, ours runs as smoothly as the trains in Europe 405 00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:09,150 in the thirties. - I see. 406 00:15:09,153 --> 00:15:11,993 Enjoy your Sabbath holiday. 407 00:15:15,259 --> 00:15:18,659 - Don’t care for him. 408 00:15:18,662 --> 00:15:20,132 - Did you see that Hasidic man before? 409 00:15:20,131 --> 00:15:22,871 - Yes, it’s so hot. - What a curiosity. 410 00:15:22,866 --> 00:15:24,566 [both laugh] 411 00:15:24,568 --> 00:15:26,698 - Simply fantastic. Right in here. 412 00:15:26,704 --> 00:15:28,914 [Roy Orbison’s "Pretty Woman" playing] 413 00:15:28,906 --> 00:15:30,906 ROY: ♪ Pretty woman, walkin’ down the street ♪ 414 00:15:30,908 --> 00:15:32,838 - Get the sleeve, Bastian. Too long. Make it too long. 415 00:15:32,843 --> 00:15:34,513 At least an 1 1/4 inch. Enjoying your shine? 416 00:15:34,512 --> 00:15:36,652 ROY: ♪ Pretty woman, the kind I’d like to meet ♪ 417 00:15:36,647 --> 00:15:39,847 - I am, thank you. - You’re very, very welcome. 418 00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:41,150 ROY: ♪ Pretty woman, I don’t believe you ♪ 419 00:15:41,152 --> 00:15:42,822 ♪ You’re not the truth ♪ - Pow. 420 00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:44,420 ROY: ♪ No one could look as good as you ♪ 421 00:15:44,422 --> 00:15:46,162 - No. - Yes. 422 00:15:46,157 --> 00:15:49,257 - [both laughing] 423 00:15:49,260 --> 00:15:53,100 - [humming, laughing] ROY: ♪ Oh, oh, pretty woman ♪ 424 00:15:54,732 --> 00:15:57,702 - Mannequin Leg, come join us. We’re ready to eat. 425 00:15:57,701 --> 00:15:59,201 - Yeah, let’s share some of the ideas we come up 426 00:15:59,203 --> 00:16:00,573 with when we were unplugged. 427 00:16:00,571 --> 00:16:02,141 - Where do I start? I have so many. 428 00:16:02,140 --> 00:16:04,310 This Unplugging thing really works. 429 00:16:04,308 --> 00:16:06,208 Okay, listen to some of these. 430 00:16:06,210 --> 00:16:07,850 "Glee," but with dogs. 431 00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:09,705 A "Botched" spinoff where Dr. Terry Dubrow’s 432 00:16:09,713 --> 00:16:12,423 leather jacket becomes sentient and solves crimes. 433 00:16:12,416 --> 00:16:13,776 "American Horror Story: 434 00:16:13,784 --> 00:16:15,754 We Promise We Thought It Through This Time." 435 00:16:15,753 --> 00:16:17,293 "CSI: Provincetown," 436 00:16:17,288 --> 00:16:19,758 and there’s, like, a lot of piss play. 437 00:16:19,757 --> 00:16:22,087 A workplace comedy about lesbian bed death. 438 00:16:22,093 --> 00:16:24,063 And something with Annette Bening. 439 00:16:24,062 --> 00:16:27,002 [cell phone vibrating] - Oh, funnel, text from Billy. 440 00:16:26,998 --> 00:16:29,228 He says good luck with the Refutzers, 441 00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:30,903 and he has to go to a horrible party 442 00:16:30,901 --> 00:16:33,471 with Cecil and his old timey friends. 443 00:16:33,471 --> 00:16:35,371 - Now there is a show. 444 00:16:35,373 --> 00:16:38,213 My best friend is dating this old-timey guy. 445 00:16:38,209 --> 00:16:39,839 Runs around on a pogo stick 446 00:16:39,843 --> 00:16:41,783 and his family invented jelly beans. 447 00:16:41,779 --> 00:16:43,709 - [scoffs] You comedy people kill me. 448 00:16:43,714 --> 00:16:45,784 Your ideas aren’t grounded. 449 00:16:45,783 --> 00:16:48,853 That sounds like it’s a sketch, not a show. 450 00:16:48,852 --> 00:16:51,692 - No, Cecil’s a real human person. 451 00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:53,189 I mean, I’d show you a picture of his dick 452 00:16:53,191 --> 00:16:56,061 from my cell phone. Billy forwards them. 453 00:16:56,060 --> 00:16:57,630 It’s good to have a library. 454 00:16:57,628 --> 00:16:59,528 - Well, that wouldn’t prove anything. 455 00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:01,630 - How about after dinner we go meet Cecil? 456 00:17:01,632 --> 00:17:03,702 - Sounds like a plan! - All right. 457 00:17:03,701 --> 00:17:05,201 - L’chaim. all: L’chaim. 458 00:17:05,203 --> 00:17:08,713 - To my daughter, Julie, I leave you my wedding dress. 459 00:17:08,706 --> 00:17:10,366 - Cut. - What? 460 00:17:10,374 --> 00:17:11,884 - As I once said to Wes Anderson, 461 00:17:11,875 --> 00:17:14,275 "I love what you’re doing, but I feel like 462 00:17:14,278 --> 00:17:15,948 I’ve seen it before." 463 00:17:15,946 --> 00:17:18,116 Actually, I said that to a photo of Wes Anderson 464 00:17:18,116 --> 00:17:20,446 that I keep in a little, heart-shaped locket. 465 00:17:20,451 --> 00:17:22,121 God, Tina, stop talking. 466 00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:25,490 - I don’t know what you mean. Just direct me more. 467 00:17:25,489 --> 00:17:28,359 - Okay. Why are you leaving 468 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:29,759 your daughter a wedding dress? 469 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,960 Because she’ll never marry that alcoholic 470 00:17:31,962 --> 00:17:34,432 she lives with and she’ll never fit into the dress. 471 00:17:34,432 --> 00:17:35,872 - Yes! Keep going! I like this. 472 00:17:35,866 --> 00:17:37,896 Okay, now we’re writing from truth. 473 00:17:37,901 --> 00:17:39,841 We’re like those copywriters who came up with 474 00:17:39,837 --> 00:17:43,367 the ad campaign for Dove soap that cured sexism. 475 00:17:43,374 --> 00:17:46,514 Tell me Marilyn, why... 476 00:17:46,510 --> 00:17:48,050 are you making this will? 477 00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:49,646 - Because I don’t want my stuff 478 00:17:49,647 --> 00:17:51,977 to go to a charity I don’t like. 479 00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:54,823 - Spite? Okay. Well, then, here’s a pitch: 480 00:17:54,818 --> 00:17:56,188 What if we don’t think of these things 481 00:17:56,187 --> 00:17:57,917 that you’re giving away as “items?" 482 00:17:57,921 --> 00:18:01,191 What if we think of them as “spite-ems.” 483 00:18:01,192 --> 00:18:03,632 - Oh, that’s good. That’s good. 484 00:18:03,627 --> 00:18:06,127 I like you. What is your name again? 485 00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:08,530 - Tina Fey. 486 00:18:08,532 --> 00:18:12,272 - I literally have never heard of you. 487 00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:15,270 [jazz music] 488 00:18:15,273 --> 00:18:16,613 ♪ ♪ 489 00:18:16,607 --> 00:18:19,137 - Billy, my boy, how’s your hard tack? 490 00:18:19,143 --> 00:18:21,113 - I’m doing the best I can with it. 491 00:18:21,112 --> 00:18:22,852 - Top shelf. Now, could I familiarize you 492 00:18:22,846 --> 00:18:24,146 with some of my circle of chums? 493 00:18:24,148 --> 00:18:26,218 - Mm-hmm. - That ye there is Smitty. 494 00:18:26,217 --> 00:18:28,747 He has a large collection of wooden roller skates. 495 00:18:28,752 --> 00:18:30,652 Orville here plays ukulele. 496 00:18:30,654 --> 00:18:32,624 He also mixed his own lead paint. 497 00:18:32,623 --> 00:18:35,133 - Oh, dear. - And Jeffy... 498 00:18:35,126 --> 00:18:37,396 you’re gonna love this very much. 499 00:18:37,395 --> 00:18:41,465 Jeffy will always wear two hats at once. 500 00:18:41,465 --> 00:18:44,165 - Oh, here’s a toe-tapper you might know. 501 00:18:44,168 --> 00:18:48,708 It’s called "May I Sleep In Your Barn Tonight, Mister?" 502 00:18:48,706 --> 00:18:50,336 [ukulele plays] 503 00:18:50,341 --> 00:18:52,711 [kazoo and ukulele playing] - Oh, Jesus. 504 00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:56,110 ♪ ♪ 505 00:18:56,114 --> 00:18:58,654 Cecil, I need to talk to you. 506 00:18:58,649 --> 00:18:59,979 - Sure, anything, gent. 507 00:18:59,984 --> 00:19:01,854 - Uh, here’s the thing. 508 00:19:01,852 --> 00:19:04,622 You’re a great guy, and I’m doing my best 509 00:19:04,622 --> 00:19:05,892 to try and start dating like an-- 510 00:19:05,889 --> 00:19:08,529 [cell phone rings] Fuck! 511 00:19:08,526 --> 00:19:10,926 Give me one second. What? 512 00:19:10,928 --> 00:19:13,028 - Billy, it’s Julie by way of Arthur. 513 00:19:13,031 --> 00:19:14,431 - Tell him to stay at the party. 514 00:19:14,432 --> 00:19:16,302 - Don’t leave the party, we’re coming. 515 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,040 - Wait, wait! No, no! I’m currently breaking up 516 00:19:18,036 --> 00:19:21,336 with Cecil gracefully. - You are? 517 00:19:24,108 --> 00:19:25,778 - I just think that maybe we don’t have 518 00:19:25,776 --> 00:19:27,246 a lot in common, you know? 519 00:19:27,245 --> 00:19:28,945 Maybe if we take things more slowly. 520 00:19:28,946 --> 00:19:30,206 - Yeah, I mean, I would do that. 521 00:19:30,214 --> 00:19:32,084 - No, no, wait. I always do this 522 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,553 and then I say, we’ll take things more slowly 523 00:19:34,552 --> 00:19:36,022 and then I don’t really want to 524 00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:38,020 and then I have to avoid you at the gym 525 00:19:38,022 --> 00:19:40,422 and then I have to join another gym. 526 00:19:40,424 --> 00:19:43,534 But not this time. 527 00:19:43,527 --> 00:19:45,157 Not this gym. 528 00:19:45,163 --> 00:19:46,733 There’s three kinds of water. 529 00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:50,030 There’s--There’s plain and lemon and cucu... 530 00:19:50,034 --> 00:19:51,774 [whimpers] Cucumber. 531 00:19:51,769 --> 00:19:54,169 You’re great. You’re like the cat’s pajamas, 532 00:19:54,172 --> 00:19:57,142 but I think I have to 23 Skidoo. 533 00:19:57,141 --> 00:19:59,281 - You’re a class act, Epstein. 534 00:19:59,277 --> 00:20:02,177 All the way, but, please, stay for the party, would you? 535 00:20:02,180 --> 00:20:03,880 The punchbowl has heroin in it. 536 00:20:03,881 --> 00:20:06,651 - And we’re cool? - Oh, as a Julep. 537 00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:09,220 - Okay, cut. Wow. 538 00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:12,020 First of all, I love directing! 539 00:20:12,023 --> 00:20:14,993 - And directing loves you. You’re so good. 540 00:20:14,993 --> 00:20:18,403 - Second of all, Marilyn, resentment is bursting 541 00:20:18,396 --> 00:20:20,156 out of your pores. Which, by the way, 542 00:20:20,164 --> 00:20:22,374 are invisible, because holy shit, 543 00:20:22,366 --> 00:20:24,366 this camera is not fucking around! 544 00:20:24,368 --> 00:20:26,698 - Thank you, sweetheart! Are we done? 545 00:20:26,704 --> 00:20:28,844 - Actually, there’s just one other thing 546 00:20:28,839 --> 00:20:30,509 I kind of wanted to throw at you 547 00:20:30,508 --> 00:20:34,148 before we close out the day. - Anything. I’m clay. 548 00:20:35,579 --> 00:20:39,619 - What if... this wasn’t a will at all? 549 00:20:39,617 --> 00:20:41,147 Stay with me. 550 00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:44,892 What if you give away your “spite-ems” now, 551 00:20:44,888 --> 00:20:47,758 while you’re alive, to see the reactions 552 00:20:47,758 --> 00:20:49,828 of the people you want to hurt? 553 00:20:49,827 --> 00:20:51,597 - That is brilliant! 554 00:20:51,595 --> 00:20:53,755 You’re not going anywhere until I sign 555 00:20:53,764 --> 00:20:56,404 that location release for your show. 556 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,500 Didn’t you want someone I’ve never heard of 557 00:20:58,502 --> 00:21:00,072 to cry on my front steps? 558 00:21:00,071 --> 00:21:02,471 - More than anything, Marilyn. - Call me mom. 559 00:21:02,473 --> 00:21:06,413 - No, you call me mom. - [chuckles] 560 00:21:06,410 --> 00:21:09,680 - Oh, my God, Julie. You were right. 561 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,780 This definitely could be a show. 562 00:21:11,782 --> 00:21:13,482 - I know, right? I told you. 563 00:21:13,484 --> 00:21:14,824 - Okay, Monday morning 564 00:21:14,818 --> 00:21:16,518 you and I are gonna go pitch to Netflix, 565 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,360 and I’m gonna change your life. - Oh, my God, are you serious? 566 00:21:19,357 --> 00:21:22,157 - Julie, I broke up with Cecil. - Hey. 567 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,430 I did it gracefully. - Oh, I’m proud of you. 568 00:21:24,428 --> 00:21:26,398 - I am officially an ex-trophy wife. 569 00:21:26,397 --> 00:21:28,727 I’m like Camille Grammer without IBS. 570 00:21:28,732 --> 00:21:30,472 - Is that our neighbor over there? 571 00:21:30,468 --> 00:21:32,568 - Where? Oh, yeah. What’s he doing here? 572 00:21:32,570 --> 00:21:33,840 - What’s wrong, timestamp? 573 00:21:33,837 --> 00:21:35,107 You’ve been doing that all night. 574 00:21:35,106 --> 00:21:36,466 - Oh, it’s this Eileen Fisher dress. 575 00:21:36,474 --> 00:21:37,644 I’m allergic to the wool 576 00:21:37,641 --> 00:21:39,011 and it’s doing nothing for my waist. 577 00:21:39,010 --> 00:21:40,480 - Sorry, Cecil, could you tell me 578 00:21:40,478 --> 00:21:42,948 where the bathroom is? - Uh, which one? 579 00:21:42,946 --> 00:21:45,146 ’Cause I have 17 bathrooms. You know why? 580 00:21:45,149 --> 00:21:46,819 It’s ’cause my parents invented jelly beans. 581 00:21:46,817 --> 00:21:48,387 Fuck you. 582 00:21:48,386 --> 00:21:49,786 - We’re gonna have to make his character 583 00:21:49,787 --> 00:21:51,257 more likeable on the show. 584 00:21:51,255 --> 00:21:53,015 - No, really, Julie, you have to see this place. 585 00:21:53,024 --> 00:21:55,534 It’s ridiculous. - Oh, yes, want to take a tour? 586 00:21:55,526 --> 00:21:58,096 Cecil, do you mind? 587 00:21:58,096 --> 00:22:00,496 - I-I don’t mind. 588 00:22:00,498 --> 00:22:02,568 Uh... foll--follow me. 589 00:22:02,566 --> 00:22:04,036 Follow me. 590 00:22:06,037 --> 00:22:08,667 [drum roll] 591 00:22:08,672 --> 00:22:10,112 - What the fuck? 592 00:22:10,108 --> 00:22:13,008 - I knew all you antique dealers were sick creeps! 593 00:22:13,011 --> 00:22:14,381 - Noodles, just like you said. 594 00:22:14,378 --> 00:22:16,148 - Well, hold on now, you gave me the wink. 595 00:22:16,147 --> 00:22:18,477 - I have allergies. - Ohh. 596 00:22:18,482 --> 00:22:21,322 - And you, "Hitler Had Some Good Ideas." 597 00:22:21,319 --> 00:22:23,319 - How do you know my Wi-Fi network? 598 00:22:23,321 --> 00:22:24,891 - We were stealing it, Goebbels. 599 00:22:24,888 --> 00:22:27,088 - That is unethical! 600 00:22:27,091 --> 00:22:28,891 - Well, everyone, 601 00:22:28,892 --> 00:22:30,462 color my face egg color, 602 00:22:30,461 --> 00:22:32,261 there’s been a misunderstanding. 603 00:22:32,263 --> 00:22:34,573 Kathy Griffin, love your work. 604 00:22:34,565 --> 00:22:36,995 Billy, I hope to see you at the gym sometime soon. 605 00:22:37,001 --> 00:22:39,401 - Uh, actually no. 606 00:22:39,403 --> 00:22:43,043 And also fuck breaking up gracefully 607 00:22:43,041 --> 00:22:45,111 and fuck you, you tincture making, 608 00:22:45,109 --> 00:22:47,949 derby hat-wearing, jellybean inventing, 609 00:22:47,945 --> 00:22:50,775 penny , steam room-blowing, 610 00:22:50,781 --> 00:22:53,081 Nazi stuff selling piece of shit. 611 00:22:54,052 --> 00:22:57,822 - Billy, that was beautiful. 612 00:22:57,821 --> 00:23:00,161 I’ve never high-fived in my life, but I feel like 613 00:23:00,158 --> 00:23:02,058 I should at least make an effort for that. 614 00:23:02,060 --> 00:23:04,600 - I high-fived once and it was ironic. 615 00:23:04,595 --> 00:23:06,795 Let’s do this. 616 00:23:06,797 --> 00:23:08,267 [camera shutter clicks] - Shot. 617 00:23:08,266 --> 00:23:09,596 [cell phone whooshes] And texted 618 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,400 to entire Refutz group. 619 00:23:11,402 --> 00:23:14,572 I’m gonna make sure you never write for television. 620 00:23:14,572 --> 00:23:17,312 [scoffs] Recapper trash. 621 00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:21,509 - Not our most graceful goodbye. 622 00:23:21,512 --> 00:23:23,712 [upbeat music] 623 00:23:23,714 --> 00:23:26,354 - You know what I learned from this Unplugging experiment? 624 00:23:26,350 --> 00:23:28,220 - That the Curves in Staten Island does not 625 00:23:28,219 --> 00:23:29,549 have a men’s locker room? 626 00:23:29,553 --> 00:23:32,293 - That, and I need to take a 24 hour period 627 00:23:32,290 --> 00:23:34,330 each week to un-face. 628 00:23:34,325 --> 00:23:37,255 I interact with too many actual people as it is. 629 00:23:37,261 --> 00:23:40,161 I need a day where I’m just around screens. 630 00:23:40,164 --> 00:23:41,374 - Yeah, fuck the real world. 631 00:23:41,365 --> 00:23:42,925 - Screens never hurt anybody. 632 00:23:42,933 --> 00:23:44,203 - Screens make our lives better. 633 00:23:44,202 --> 00:23:45,242 [car honking] - Hooray for screens! 634 00:23:45,236 --> 00:23:46,936 [tires screech, metal crashes] 635 00:23:46,937 --> 00:23:48,537 [horn honking] MAN: Fuck you! 636 00:23:48,539 --> 00:23:50,909 JULIE: Everybody is gay according to "TMZ." 637 00:23:50,908 --> 00:23:52,678 BILLY: Oh, that’s good. 638 00:23:52,676 --> 00:23:54,146 [White Reaper’s "Half Bad" playing] 639 00:23:54,145 --> 00:23:56,105 WOMAN: ♪ Thought it’d be easy ♪ 640 00:23:56,114 --> 00:23:58,624 ♪ Thought they didn’t know ♪ 641 00:23:58,616 --> 00:24:02,486 ♪ You thought it was the only way to go ♪ 642 00:24:02,486 --> 00:24:03,946 ♪ ♪ 643 00:24:03,954 --> 00:24:06,664 ♪ Another way out ♪ 644 00:24:06,657 --> 00:24:09,027 ♪ Found on the way home ♪ 645 00:24:09,027 --> 00:24:10,357 ♪Thought you were living fast ♪ 646 00:24:10,361 --> 00:24:12,901 ♪ But you were living slow ♪ 647 00:24:12,896 --> 00:24:21,036 ♪ ♪