1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:07,203 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:07,203 --> 00:00:10,363 # They say time will wait for no man 3 00:00:10,363 --> 00:00:14,883 # They say time is on my side 4 00:00:14,883 --> 00:00:19,003 # I can never make my mind up 5 00:00:19,003 --> 00:00:22,443 # Cos it all goes whizzing by 6 00:00:22,443 --> 00:00:25,643 # From the cradle to the grave 7 00:00:25,643 --> 00:00:28,083 # From the cradle to the grave 8 00:00:28,083 --> 00:00:32,843 # I know I won't be a slave I know I won't be a slave 9 00:00:32,843 --> 00:00:36,843 # To the mistakes that I made From the cradle 10 00:00:36,843 --> 00:00:39,643 # And I won't go till I'm ready 11 00:00:39,643 --> 00:00:42,283 # From the cradle to the grave. # 12 00:00:42,283 --> 00:00:49,003 This programme contains some strong language. 13 00:00:49,003 --> 00:00:51,563 Well? Well what? 14 00:00:51,563 --> 00:00:54,003 You're supposed to tell me I look gorgeous. 15 00:00:54,003 --> 00:00:57,043 I don't know what you're asking me for. I've only got one eye. 16 00:00:58,723 --> 00:01:00,603 Yeah, you look great. 17 00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:02,083 It's a nice colour. 18 00:01:03,603 --> 00:01:06,843 Ahh, give us that. You've got a wedding dress on. 19 00:01:06,843 --> 00:01:09,243 Dog's just laid on that. I don't care I'm starving. 20 00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:15,203 Mum back yet? Can't be, the old man's in a good mood. 21 00:01:15,203 --> 00:01:17,363 How long will they keep up this silent treatment? 22 00:01:17,363 --> 00:01:20,763 Ain't said a word to each other for the last week. A week? Try three. 23 00:01:20,763 --> 00:01:22,563 I can't remember the last time he asked her 24 00:01:22,563 --> 00:01:24,443 to help him look for something. 25 00:01:24,443 --> 00:01:27,043 What? What do you mean "look for something"? 26 00:01:28,643 --> 00:01:30,603 Don't be a prize prick. 27 00:01:30,603 --> 00:01:33,523 You know, when you go upstairs and the bedroom door's locked... 28 00:01:41,923 --> 00:01:44,123 Who is it? It's me. 29 00:01:44,123 --> 00:01:46,443 What do you want? Can I see Mum a minute? 30 00:01:46,443 --> 00:01:50,723 You can't. She's busy. She's helping me look for something. 31 00:01:50,723 --> 00:01:53,723 Oh...is that...what the...that is? 32 00:01:53,723 --> 00:01:56,043 Yeah, yeah, let's not talk about it any more. 33 00:01:56,043 --> 00:01:59,483 So, erm, will you be helping Roger look for something tonight then? 34 00:01:59,483 --> 00:02:01,003 Ah, don't be disgusting. 35 00:02:01,003 --> 00:02:04,083 Anyway, Mum better be home soon cos I need help with my hair. 36 00:02:11,203 --> 00:02:18,363 # Woman, I want to go down and drown in you 37 00:02:20,283 --> 00:02:28,243 # Woman, oh, let my love cut your sorrow in two 38 00:02:28,243 --> 00:02:34,443 # Woman, oh, why don't you cry all over me 39 00:02:36,203 --> 00:02:40,843 # Woman, oh, why don't you cry 40 00:02:42,283 --> 00:02:44,323 # Why don't you cry, oh 41 00:02:44,323 --> 00:02:48,683 # Why don't you cry all over me 42 00:02:53,283 --> 00:02:56,043 # Woman, why don't you... # 43 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,883 PHONE RINGS 44 00:02:58,883 --> 00:03:02,203 Hello? Hello? Hello, Keith? 45 00:03:02,203 --> 00:03:04,043 Bet? 46 00:03:04,043 --> 00:03:07,163 How's your wedding day going? Great. How's yours? 47 00:03:07,163 --> 00:03:10,443 It's funny. I always thought I'd be a bundle of nerves, you know... 48 00:03:10,443 --> 00:03:13,483 like, in floods. 49 00:03:13,483 --> 00:03:16,363 I just... I feel a bit numb. 50 00:03:17,803 --> 00:03:20,803 Today's stirring up all sorts of old ghosts. 51 00:03:20,803 --> 00:03:23,043 Have you thought any more about what I said? 52 00:03:23,043 --> 00:03:24,323 Yeah, I have. 53 00:03:25,763 --> 00:03:31,163 But, er, I'm just going to put it to the back of me mind for today, 54 00:03:31,163 --> 00:03:32,523 if that's possible. 55 00:03:32,523 --> 00:03:36,003 Well, I'm here for you, you know that. 56 00:03:37,523 --> 00:03:39,843 And I'm a very patient person. 57 00:03:46,763 --> 00:03:48,243 Thank you. Thank you. 58 00:03:51,283 --> 00:03:54,723 Here's the son of David Essex. Yeah. 59 00:03:54,723 --> 00:03:57,803 Here, somebody tell him only the bride's supposed to wear white. 60 00:03:57,803 --> 00:04:00,523 Oh, no, that only applies to girls. Yeah, that's why I said it. 61 00:04:00,523 --> 00:04:02,843 Only the bride's supposed to wear white. Brilliant. 62 00:04:06,563 --> 00:04:08,323 Serves you right if that vicar 63 00:04:08,323 --> 00:04:10,123 marries you to Roger instead of her. 64 00:04:10,123 --> 00:04:12,163 You're the one that'll have to shag him tonight. 65 00:04:12,163 --> 00:04:14,363 Well, that's lovely to hear on my wedding day. 66 00:04:14,363 --> 00:04:15,603 Now, don't forget, 67 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:18,603 I want to see all of you down at reception tonight, no exceptions. 68 00:04:18,603 --> 00:04:20,243 I'm going to be skint tomorrow. 69 00:04:20,243 --> 00:04:23,963 It's the last chance to get nice and tasty on my pound note, 70 00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:26,003 you hear me? OTHERS: Yeah. 71 00:04:26,003 --> 00:04:29,963 'As a neighbour, my old girlfriend Yvonne was invited to the reception. 72 00:04:29,963 --> 00:04:33,043 'But any plans I had to get back with her looked dead as a dodo.' 73 00:04:33,043 --> 00:04:34,803 All right, Chas? 74 00:04:34,803 --> 00:04:37,843 Be...be weird, having a spare room in the house, won't it? 75 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,283 We ain't. That's where you're going. What? 76 00:04:41,283 --> 00:04:43,603 No, I won't get all me records in there - it's a shoebox. 77 00:04:43,603 --> 00:04:45,843 Yeah, and I won't be able to get all my birds in our room 78 00:04:45,843 --> 00:04:47,243 not with you lurking around. 79 00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,483 I'm just going for a slash. 80 00:04:50,043 --> 00:04:53,203 You all right, girl? She's all right. 81 00:04:53,203 --> 00:04:56,483 I am, Mum. Do you know what? I'm not even nervous. 82 00:04:56,483 --> 00:05:00,123 I knew this day would come from the first time I met Roger. 83 00:05:00,123 --> 00:05:02,043 Does that sound funny? 84 00:05:04,963 --> 00:05:06,323 No, love. 85 00:05:11,123 --> 00:05:13,203 He's took my bag! 86 00:05:13,203 --> 00:05:16,283 Don't worry, Bet, that's Freddie Baker. That's what he does. 87 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,243 I thought he was supposed to be in Germany. 88 00:05:18,243 --> 00:05:20,283 What do you mean that's what he does? 89 00:05:20,283 --> 00:05:23,083 Oh, he usually brings them back. Usually?! 90 00:05:24,523 --> 00:05:26,883 Give me back my bag, you thief. 91 00:05:26,883 --> 00:05:29,763 Blimey! Can half run fast, Betty Lockwood. 92 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,443 We could do with you down Millwall. 93 00:05:31,443 --> 00:05:33,003 My bag, please. 94 00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:34,923 It was your mate Angie's I was after, 95 00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:37,163 but she had hers over her arm so... 96 00:05:37,163 --> 00:05:41,763 How is she, Angie? Engaged, thank you very much. 97 00:05:41,763 --> 00:05:45,043 All right, here you go. 98 00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:49,043 Oh, and, er, give this one to Mary Windsor when you see her. 99 00:05:49,043 --> 00:05:50,163 How many bags you got? 100 00:05:50,163 --> 00:05:52,283 I just like to see which one wants me the most. 101 00:05:53,563 --> 00:05:57,403 Well, I'd be careful - my last boyfriend was a copper. 102 00:05:57,403 --> 00:05:58,563 Your last boyfriend? 103 00:05:58,563 --> 00:06:01,563 Blimey, you're a quick worker. How old are you now then, 17? 104 00:06:01,563 --> 00:06:02,723 I will be next week. 105 00:06:02,723 --> 00:06:04,563 Anyway, aren't you meant to be in Germany? 106 00:06:04,563 --> 00:06:06,083 The war's over, they don't need me. 107 00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:07,803 If they catch you, they'll lock you up. 108 00:06:07,803 --> 00:06:10,683 They ain't found Hitler yet, they ain't interested in me. 109 00:06:10,683 --> 00:06:13,603 I am interested in you, though, Betty. 110 00:06:14,723 --> 00:06:17,163 Or Angie or Mary Windsor. 111 00:06:20,083 --> 00:06:22,123 '70s DANCE MUSIC PLAYS 112 00:06:29,883 --> 00:06:33,563 Aww, wish my Susan had got married in something like that. 113 00:06:33,563 --> 00:06:35,323 Your Susan ain't got married at all. 114 00:06:35,323 --> 00:06:38,523 You know when they say radiant? That's what that is, that dress. 115 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,043 Radiant. 116 00:06:40,043 --> 00:06:43,083 Here, did your Bet run that dress up herself? 117 00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:46,963 Did she bollocks! That's 220 quid going down to Larkin. 118 00:06:46,963 --> 00:06:49,523 No. And she only get's to wear it once. 119 00:06:49,523 --> 00:06:51,603 Don't worry, I'll get the value out of it, 120 00:06:51,603 --> 00:06:53,923 even if I have to wear it myself. 121 00:06:53,923 --> 00:06:56,523 I wore a dress once. You what? Eh? 122 00:06:57,523 --> 00:07:00,043 Was in a school play. It still counts. 123 00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:01,723 Yeah, nonce. 124 00:07:01,723 --> 00:07:03,763 Here, shouldn't you be over there with your Bet? 125 00:07:03,763 --> 00:07:06,483 Yeah. I ought to be. 126 00:07:07,603 --> 00:07:09,283 Still no thaw then? 127 00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:13,363 Thaw? Oh, I'm fine, Lil. It's our daughter's wedding day. 128 00:07:13,363 --> 00:07:15,763 As long as he don't start nothing, I won't. 129 00:07:15,763 --> 00:07:18,483 But I ain't going round putting a show on for everyone. 130 00:07:21,563 --> 00:07:27,563 # Wrap up some red roses For a blue lady... # 131 00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:29,843 My old man was one of 12 Baker children, 132 00:07:29,843 --> 00:07:31,963 the best known family on the Isle Of Dogs. 133 00:07:31,963 --> 00:07:34,083 Mum was very shy and had convinced herself 134 00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:36,283 that having one of the Baker boys as her fella 135 00:07:36,283 --> 00:07:38,363 was well out of her league. 136 00:07:38,363 --> 00:07:39,723 # I'll hurry back and pick 137 00:07:39,723 --> 00:07:46,243 # Your best white orchids for her wedding gown. # 138 00:07:46,243 --> 00:07:48,443 Oh, lovely. 139 00:07:52,843 --> 00:07:55,243 Oh, Freddie, you were marvellous. Just like Vic Damone. 140 00:07:55,243 --> 00:07:57,003 Yeah, just like him. There you go, mate. 141 00:07:57,003 --> 00:07:58,363 Get this one down you. Cheers. 142 00:07:58,363 --> 00:08:01,363 Hello again. Oh, hello, you. 143 00:08:01,363 --> 00:08:04,723 What do you think? Yeah, it's all right. 144 00:08:04,723 --> 00:08:06,963 Well, we think he looks like Vic Damone and all. 145 00:08:06,963 --> 00:08:09,283 You was out in Germany with him, weren't you, Freddie? 146 00:08:09,283 --> 00:08:11,803 Yeah, Vic Damone. Yeah. Sing another one for us, Freddie. 147 00:08:11,803 --> 00:08:14,163 Give us a minute and I will, yeah. 148 00:08:14,163 --> 00:08:15,603 So, how have you been keeping? 149 00:08:15,603 --> 00:08:17,683 The only people you were singing with in Germany 150 00:08:17,683 --> 00:08:18,923 were the military police. 151 00:08:18,923 --> 00:08:21,203 All right, all right, keep it down. 152 00:08:21,203 --> 00:08:24,603 So, do you want a drink? No, I won't. 153 00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:26,443 Thanks for asking me out tonight though. 154 00:08:26,443 --> 00:08:28,483 I better be off now. Oh, really? 155 00:08:28,483 --> 00:08:31,563 Yeah. You've got plenty of admirers to keep you company. 156 00:08:31,563 --> 00:08:33,163 I was only chatting. 157 00:08:33,163 --> 00:08:34,523 Well, don't let me stop you. 158 00:08:35,603 --> 00:08:37,003 Bye. 159 00:08:38,283 --> 00:08:41,203 And the kid says, "You can do what you like, love. 160 00:08:41,203 --> 00:08:43,563 "I'm a jockey on me way to New Market." 161 00:08:48,283 --> 00:08:52,283 Come on, Bet, love. If Roger turns out to be half the bloke Fred is, 162 00:08:52,283 --> 00:08:54,083 Sharon won't have done bad for herself. 163 00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:57,883 Well, maybe Fred ain't quite the bloke you all think he is. 164 00:09:00,883 --> 00:09:04,523 What you doing out here? Jacking me in, are you? Had enough? 165 00:09:06,323 --> 00:09:07,923 I'm having a baby. 166 00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:10,763 What you talking about "baby"? Who's baby? 167 00:09:10,763 --> 00:09:13,043 Your baby? What, my baby? 168 00:09:13,043 --> 00:09:14,643 Well, who else's do you think it is? 169 00:09:14,643 --> 00:09:16,003 I'm not like you, am I? 170 00:09:16,003 --> 00:09:18,883 Well...what about that copper you was going with? 171 00:09:18,883 --> 00:09:20,083 Who, Tom? Yeah. 172 00:09:20,083 --> 00:09:23,323 Fred, we've been split up a year. 173 00:09:23,323 --> 00:09:25,043 How do you think pregnancy works? 174 00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:27,363 You sure it's mine? 175 00:09:27,363 --> 00:09:30,403 Any baby I have must be yours. All right? 176 00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:33,523 Fucking hell. Erm... 177 00:09:34,963 --> 00:09:38,123 Well, there it is. That's it, then. 178 00:09:38,123 --> 00:09:40,203 What? I'm lumbered. 179 00:09:40,203 --> 00:09:42,083 Oh. Oh, that's nice. 180 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:43,763 Oh, come on, I didn't mean it like that. 181 00:09:43,763 --> 00:09:45,843 Freddie, your public needs you. 182 00:09:45,843 --> 00:09:48,243 Come on, Baker, there's several sizzling women in there 183 00:09:48,243 --> 00:09:49,563 waiting for you. Well, Fred? 184 00:09:50,603 --> 00:09:53,243 Come back in. Come on. 185 00:09:53,243 --> 00:09:55,843 # I have often walked... # 186 00:09:55,843 --> 00:09:57,843 Your audience needs you. 187 00:09:57,843 --> 00:10:01,683 # ..on this street before 188 00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:07,363 # But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before. # 189 00:10:09,683 --> 00:10:11,243 Mum, go on and talk to Dad. 190 00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:13,163 I've been talking to him for 25 years, 191 00:10:13,163 --> 00:10:14,483 let me have the night off, ey? 192 00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:21,123 Blimey, Bet, Joey Churcher. Hide your jewellery. 193 00:10:22,403 --> 00:10:24,803 See, that is what I am talking about. 194 00:10:24,803 --> 00:10:27,603 Who invites one of the Churchers to his own daughter's wedding? 195 00:10:27,603 --> 00:10:30,843 Might as well have one of the Kray brothers here. 196 00:10:30,843 --> 00:10:32,643 Yeah, go on, Fred, buy him a drink. 197 00:10:32,643 --> 00:10:35,963 Even today he can't leave it alone, wheeling and bleeding dealing. 198 00:10:38,083 --> 00:10:40,443 Oh, no. Here comes Uncle Frank. 199 00:10:40,443 --> 00:10:42,123 Come on, everyone, join in! 200 00:10:42,123 --> 00:10:44,443 In a minute, Frank, I'll have a go in a minute. 201 00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:46,403 Can't stand nothing like that. 202 00:10:46,403 --> 00:10:48,803 That's one thing me and Fred have got in common. 203 00:10:50,523 --> 00:10:53,403 Come on, let's go outside before silly balls commandeers us. 204 00:10:58,523 --> 00:11:02,483 All right, it's true. I am. 205 00:11:02,483 --> 00:11:05,003 But now that you know, you've got to understand 206 00:11:05,003 --> 00:11:08,603 I only share this secret with very close friends. 207 00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:11,163 Wow. Can I ask one thing? 208 00:11:11,163 --> 00:11:14,083 If this is his sister's wedding, how come David Essex ain't here? 209 00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,803 Well, success has overtaken him 210 00:11:15,803 --> 00:11:18,803 and David's career has to come first during this hectic period. 211 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,523 Can I talk to you? 212 00:11:20,523 --> 00:11:23,523 How long have you been there? Long enough. 213 00:11:23,523 --> 00:11:24,843 Won't be a minute. 214 00:11:25,923 --> 00:11:28,803 I cannot believe you're still pulling this David Essex crap. 215 00:11:28,803 --> 00:11:31,043 What? I'm...I'm not. Right. 216 00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:33,683 So you're wearing a white suit, you're doing that silly smile, 217 00:11:33,683 --> 00:11:35,523 and you've got this thing around your neck 218 00:11:35,523 --> 00:11:38,043 for nothing then, have you? I actually can't get this off. 219 00:11:38,043 --> 00:11:40,643 Listening to you with them was making my toes curl. 220 00:11:40,643 --> 00:11:42,443 OK? It's like you've gone mad. 221 00:11:44,323 --> 00:11:45,963 I don't know what to do any more. 222 00:11:45,963 --> 00:11:48,243 I've told too many girls now, they'll kill me. 223 00:11:48,243 --> 00:11:50,163 Why can't you just go back to being yourself? 224 00:11:50,163 --> 00:11:51,483 It was good enough for me. 225 00:11:53,243 --> 00:11:56,803 So, have we got a deal? Here, we got a deal. 226 00:11:58,803 --> 00:12:00,923 You happy with that? 227 00:12:00,923 --> 00:12:04,603 I've got to be. I've never done anything like this in my life. 228 00:12:04,603 --> 00:12:06,523 And there's definitely no risk with it? 229 00:12:06,523 --> 00:12:09,803 Risk? Come on, Spud, it's a straightforward number. 230 00:12:09,803 --> 00:12:10,843 You know me. 231 00:12:10,843 --> 00:12:14,483 Yeah, I do indeed, Joey. 232 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:18,363 God knows what Bet will say... Come on, everyone! Join in. 233 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,163 Follow me. 234 00:12:21,163 --> 00:12:23,363 Frank, there's nobody's behind you. 235 00:12:25,323 --> 00:12:27,203 Fuck's sake. 236 00:12:27,203 --> 00:12:29,243 We're looking for a Reginald Armitage. 237 00:12:29,243 --> 00:12:31,483 Armitage you say? 238 00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:34,123 Nah, not here. Also known as Leonard John Whitby. 239 00:12:35,163 --> 00:12:37,003 Also known as Frederick Joseph Baker. 240 00:12:37,003 --> 00:12:39,323 Oh, Freddie? Oh, so he does live here. 241 00:12:40,683 --> 00:12:43,243 Upstairs, first floor. 242 00:12:43,243 --> 00:12:45,443 He's out but his wife's in. 243 00:12:45,443 --> 00:12:48,163 Police, open up. 244 00:12:48,163 --> 00:12:49,923 Hello? Bet? 245 00:12:49,923 --> 00:12:52,643 Tom? Blimey, how are you? 246 00:12:52,643 --> 00:12:54,723 All right. Can we come in? 247 00:12:54,723 --> 00:12:55,883 Yeah. 248 00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:05,803 So... 249 00:13:05,803 --> 00:13:08,123 You got married then? Yeah. 250 00:13:08,123 --> 00:13:10,283 And a little'un on the way. 251 00:13:10,283 --> 00:13:13,123 You were the one who said you were too young to settle down. 252 00:13:13,123 --> 00:13:14,603 Well, maybe I found Mr Right. 253 00:13:14,603 --> 00:13:17,363 Is that another one of his names, Bet? You what? 254 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,723 Your husband's got a lot of names, hasn't he? 255 00:13:19,723 --> 00:13:21,483 I don't know what you're talking about. 256 00:13:21,483 --> 00:13:24,163 Let's just call him Spud, shall we? Who? 257 00:13:24,163 --> 00:13:25,243 Another alias. 258 00:13:25,243 --> 00:13:27,963 To the best of your knowledge, Bet, does Spud bring home goods? 259 00:13:27,963 --> 00:13:29,483 What do you mean "goods"? 260 00:13:29,483 --> 00:13:30,963 We're referring to stolen goods. 261 00:13:32,483 --> 00:13:34,363 Do I look like I've got goods? 262 00:13:34,363 --> 00:13:36,883 Can you see any goods? 263 00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:38,323 Where did you get these from? 264 00:13:38,323 --> 00:13:40,683 Most people haven't seen a banana since before the war. 265 00:13:40,683 --> 00:13:43,123 Let alone a whole bunch. My husband... 266 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,923 won them in a raffle, he said. 267 00:13:44,923 --> 00:13:47,563 And that tablecloth looks new. We got that off a mate of his. 268 00:13:47,563 --> 00:13:50,043 Come on. I think we should have a proper look around, sir. 269 00:13:50,043 --> 00:13:51,763 Couple of cases under the bed there. 270 00:13:51,763 --> 00:13:54,723 Just tell Spud we'll be coming back to have a word with him. 271 00:13:54,723 --> 00:13:57,203 And tell him from a whisper I've heard that it might be best 272 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,523 if we get to him before the military police do. 273 00:14:03,803 --> 00:14:05,403 Bye, Betty. 274 00:14:17,843 --> 00:14:21,043 It said in this article I read his real name's David Cook. 275 00:14:21,043 --> 00:14:23,523 Yeah, that's just another name he uses. 276 00:14:23,523 --> 00:14:25,283 You know, Cook, Baker...get it? 277 00:14:25,283 --> 00:14:28,203 Well, I saw a picture of him when he was little with his mum and dad 278 00:14:28,203 --> 00:14:30,123 and they look nothing like your mum and dad. 279 00:14:30,123 --> 00:14:32,363 No, that's cos, when he was little, um, 280 00:14:32,363 --> 00:14:35,883 he spent a lot of time with his aunt and uncle and... 281 00:14:35,883 --> 00:14:39,403 Oh, look, I'm not actually David Essex's brother. I'm actually not. 282 00:14:39,403 --> 00:14:43,803 Oh, my God, he is! All right, I am. I am his brother. 283 00:14:43,803 --> 00:14:46,323 Now I don't know. What difference does it make? 284 00:14:46,323 --> 00:14:48,323 Cos if you ain't, we're wasting our time. 285 00:14:48,323 --> 00:14:49,723 You are wasting your time. 286 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:53,083 So am I, I keep pretending to be fucking David Essex's brother. 287 00:14:53,083 --> 00:14:56,763 But he might be coming here tonight, yeah? Please? 288 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,843 Oh, come on. 289 00:15:05,923 --> 00:15:08,243 What do we look like? 290 00:15:08,243 --> 00:15:09,963 The bloke on the stall told me 291 00:15:09,963 --> 00:15:12,683 these were the only pair of turquoise and golds in Bermondsey. 292 00:15:12,683 --> 00:15:14,203 He told us all that, Hodges. 293 00:15:14,203 --> 00:15:15,883 Before he took our fivers. 294 00:15:15,883 --> 00:15:17,563 Me and Trevor only paid four quid. 295 00:15:17,563 --> 00:15:19,563 Oh, four quid. 296 00:15:20,563 --> 00:15:22,643 Drop back. 297 00:15:22,643 --> 00:15:26,563 All right, boys? This is Janet. 298 00:15:26,563 --> 00:15:27,963 What? 299 00:15:27,963 --> 00:15:31,883 Blimey. You ain't still wearing turquoise and golds, are you? 300 00:15:31,883 --> 00:15:33,483 They went out like six months ago. 301 00:15:33,483 --> 00:15:34,883 So who are these then? 302 00:15:34,883 --> 00:15:37,683 This lot? The Three Stooges. 303 00:15:37,683 --> 00:15:39,283 Do you want to go get a drink? 304 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:44,283 Turquoise and gold. OTHERS: Six months old. 305 00:15:48,283 --> 00:15:52,443 Well, I have just retired from the pop industry. For good. 306 00:15:53,443 --> 00:15:56,443 That's a shame. You look really nice in that white suit. 307 00:15:59,123 --> 00:16:00,643 Where's that bloke from the co-op? 308 00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:03,603 Oh, I packed Tony in. Talk about only after one thing. 309 00:16:05,523 --> 00:16:08,083 Did he get it? What do you think? Did you? 310 00:16:10,443 --> 00:16:12,603 So you're back in the real world? 311 00:16:12,603 --> 00:16:15,243 Yeah. Good. 312 00:16:15,243 --> 00:16:16,763 Why don't you ask me out again? 313 00:16:16,763 --> 00:16:18,883 Will you go out with me again, Yvonne? 314 00:16:22,243 --> 00:16:23,403 I'll think about it. 315 00:16:33,123 --> 00:16:34,203 Now... 316 00:16:36,603 --> 00:16:38,723 Is it because I've had half a dozen brandies, 317 00:16:38,723 --> 00:16:40,523 or do you look more than usually gorgeous? 318 00:16:40,523 --> 00:16:42,883 You've had half a dozen brandies. 319 00:16:44,363 --> 00:16:47,003 Here, Teddy Silk said when he saw us at the church together 320 00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:48,803 we were like a couple of sauce bottles. 321 00:16:48,803 --> 00:16:50,643 He was looking round for the vinegar. 322 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,683 HE LAUGHS 323 00:16:58,443 --> 00:17:01,683 See, all that worrying. 324 00:17:01,683 --> 00:17:05,963 Never let it be said we can't lay on a proper blow out. 325 00:17:05,963 --> 00:17:09,163 You want to see my Alfie? He's pissed as a pudding. 326 00:17:09,163 --> 00:17:11,523 Trying to take his waistcoat off over his head. 327 00:17:11,523 --> 00:17:14,443 You wouldn't have married me if I hadn't got pregnant, would you? 328 00:17:14,443 --> 00:17:15,723 Oh, here we go. 329 00:17:15,723 --> 00:17:18,683 Where did this come from? Well, you wouldn't have, would you? 330 00:17:18,683 --> 00:17:21,243 Go on, dredge it all up. I thought we agreed a ceasefire? 331 00:17:21,243 --> 00:17:23,323 I remember exactly what you said to me. 332 00:17:23,323 --> 00:17:24,683 "Lumbered," you said. 333 00:17:24,683 --> 00:17:27,483 Well, you say these things, don't you? 334 00:17:29,043 --> 00:17:31,443 Blimey, it was a shock for both of us. 335 00:17:31,443 --> 00:17:34,483 But who's to say I wouldn't have asked you anyway? 336 00:17:34,483 --> 00:17:37,563 It just hurried me up, that's all. 337 00:17:37,563 --> 00:17:41,363 Hurried you? You were fast enough already as I remember. 338 00:17:41,363 --> 00:17:43,803 Weren't a girl on the island that could keep up with you. 339 00:17:43,803 --> 00:17:45,843 Well, I played the field. So what? 340 00:17:47,123 --> 00:17:49,923 You weren't exactly Little Miss Muffet yourself, were you? 341 00:17:55,523 --> 00:17:58,603 # I really can't stay Baby, it's cold outside 342 00:17:58,603 --> 00:18:02,363 # I got to go away But, baby, it's cold outside 343 00:18:02,363 --> 00:18:05,203 # This evening has been Been hoping that you'd drop in 344 00:18:05,203 --> 00:18:06,523 # So very nice 345 00:18:06,523 --> 00:18:08,723 # I'll hold your hands They're just like ice... # 346 00:18:08,723 --> 00:18:10,003 All right? 347 00:18:13,203 --> 00:18:14,923 You haven't got tea on yet, have you? 348 00:18:18,643 --> 00:18:19,883 Here you go. 349 00:18:19,883 --> 00:18:23,323 Tell baby to budge over cos that's coming down in about ten minutes. 350 00:18:23,323 --> 00:18:24,963 Fred... 351 00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:29,123 Who's Reginald Armitage? 352 00:18:30,963 --> 00:18:32,803 Who's been round? The police. 353 00:18:32,803 --> 00:18:36,563 Don't worry, they're long gone now. But they said they're coming back. 354 00:18:36,563 --> 00:18:39,083 Bet, I've picked up all kinds of names over time. What for? 355 00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:41,483 You want to pay tax? On the tuppenny-ha'penny we got? 356 00:18:41,483 --> 00:18:43,763 They said the military are looking for you and all. 357 00:18:43,763 --> 00:18:46,323 They ain't going to find me, yeah? They don't care about me. 358 00:18:46,323 --> 00:18:48,483 They said you use all these different names. 359 00:18:48,483 --> 00:18:50,603 Do you even tell people that you're married? 360 00:18:50,603 --> 00:18:52,083 Not if there's a few quid in it, no. 361 00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:54,963 What's the matter with you, girl? 362 00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:57,523 Where did you get that ham? 363 00:18:57,523 --> 00:18:59,603 The chief rabbi, he didn't have no use for it. 364 00:19:00,603 --> 00:19:03,643 Fred, are you at it? Yes, I'm at it, Bet. 365 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,723 Everyone's at it. 366 00:19:04,723 --> 00:19:06,803 You've got to forage to get what you can. 367 00:19:06,803 --> 00:19:08,603 I'll always do that for you. 368 00:19:08,603 --> 00:19:11,803 You're not going to want for nothing and neither is little'un. 369 00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:13,643 On me life. 370 00:19:15,523 --> 00:19:18,043 Fred, I worry. And I don't. 371 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,563 And I never will. 372 00:19:22,563 --> 00:19:25,643 What if you get put away? I ain't going away. 373 00:19:28,163 --> 00:19:30,123 I ain't going away, you know! 374 00:19:36,163 --> 00:19:38,683 You're making me look a right nonce stood here. 375 00:19:38,683 --> 00:19:40,203 Well, go away then! 376 00:19:40,203 --> 00:19:43,843 Come on, everyone, join in! 377 00:19:43,843 --> 00:19:45,763 Again. Fuck's sake. 378 00:19:46,763 --> 00:19:49,443 Grab your drawers, girls, I'm coming in. Fred. 379 00:19:49,443 --> 00:19:51,003 Girls aren't bothered, are you? 380 00:19:51,003 --> 00:19:53,523 No, you paid for the hall, Fred, you can go where you like. 381 00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:55,483 Exactly. 382 00:19:55,483 --> 00:19:56,923 And you, love. 383 00:19:58,123 --> 00:20:01,963 Now, then, let's get this sorted out, Betty Lockwood. 384 00:20:01,963 --> 00:20:04,843 I ain't 17 no more. No, but you're acting like it. 385 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:09,003 Oh, I don't know why it's hit me so hard today, Fred. 386 00:20:09,003 --> 00:20:11,243 I've tried to control it but... 387 00:20:12,563 --> 00:20:14,283 ..I just can't see a future. 388 00:20:14,283 --> 00:20:17,523 And when was it any different? In 1949? 389 00:20:17,523 --> 00:20:20,163 Well, I was just a girl then. You could have told me anything. 390 00:20:20,163 --> 00:20:23,163 Yeah? Well, here's something I didn't tell you. 391 00:20:23,163 --> 00:20:25,483 TOILET FLUSHES 392 00:20:25,483 --> 00:20:28,003 Wish I didn't have to go. 393 00:20:28,003 --> 00:20:30,203 Would've liked to have heard the end of this. 394 00:20:33,323 --> 00:20:34,963 Here's something I didn't tell you. 395 00:20:34,963 --> 00:20:37,563 Getting you up the spout was the best day's work I ever did. 396 00:20:38,643 --> 00:20:41,283 In my mind, that was a miracle. 397 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,603 And all the people... Stop, stop, stop talking, Fred. 398 00:20:43,603 --> 00:20:45,163 What? 399 00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:49,363 I'm still trying to work out if you just said something nice. 400 00:20:49,363 --> 00:20:51,683 Go out there and have a look around at all them couples. 401 00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:54,243 Did any of them have an harder start than what we did? 402 00:20:55,403 --> 00:20:58,563 Do you think half of them would still be together today like we are? 403 00:20:58,563 --> 00:21:02,443 You stuck by me, Bet, and I've never, ever forgotten that. 404 00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:06,723 And you acting like this is frightening the life out of me. 405 00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:10,563 If I hadn't met you, girl, if you hadn't had got pregnant, 406 00:21:10,563 --> 00:21:12,843 I'd be doing 20 years now 407 00:21:12,843 --> 00:21:16,323 or I'd be dead at the bottom of the Thames. And that's a fact. 408 00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:20,043 You've never said any of this before, Fred. 409 00:21:20,043 --> 00:21:24,443 I'm three parts pissed but I mean every single word I say. 410 00:21:25,683 --> 00:21:27,363 I know I ain't easy. 411 00:21:27,363 --> 00:21:30,003 I know there are many women who wouldn't even put up with me. 412 00:21:30,003 --> 00:21:32,083 You shouldn't have to put up with your husband. 413 00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:36,443 Of course you do. Everyone does, in different ways. 414 00:21:37,443 --> 00:21:39,163 And what about me, Fred? 415 00:21:41,443 --> 00:21:43,043 Do you have to put up with me? 416 00:21:46,963 --> 00:21:49,203 You know, when I first started walking out with you, 417 00:21:49,203 --> 00:21:51,363 I thought, "She's too good for me." 418 00:21:51,363 --> 00:21:54,083 SHE SNORTS No, you never. I did. 419 00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:56,683 I thought there's not a chance she'll stick with me. 420 00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:59,803 That first night when we went in the Needle And Gun... 421 00:22:00,883 --> 00:22:04,523 ..I asked all my mates to be there and they didn't know why. 422 00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:08,363 But as soon as I walked in with you on my arm, they got it. 423 00:22:08,363 --> 00:22:11,163 But you could have had any girl you wanted. 424 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,763 I know. And? 425 00:22:17,163 --> 00:22:18,523 Blimey, Fred... 426 00:22:19,523 --> 00:22:22,243 You're going to be telling me you love me next. 427 00:22:22,243 --> 00:22:24,963 I do. I love you. 428 00:22:29,123 --> 00:22:32,203 Well, I could have done with a more romantic setting, but I'll take it. 429 00:22:33,403 --> 00:22:36,763 Well, that's our marriage, Bet. 430 00:22:36,763 --> 00:22:38,803 Frederick Joseph Baker. 431 00:22:38,803 --> 00:22:41,163 I have taken into account your age 432 00:22:41,163 --> 00:22:44,363 and the fact that you are recently married and expecting a child. 433 00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:49,243 However, I am satisfied you have systematically received goods 434 00:22:49,243 --> 00:22:53,643 you knew to be stolen and enthusiastically sold them on 435 00:22:53,643 --> 00:22:55,163 for maximum profit. 436 00:22:55,163 --> 00:22:59,483 Therefore, I think a custodial sentence is in order. 437 00:23:01,203 --> 00:23:03,203 You will go to prison for one year. 438 00:23:03,203 --> 00:23:06,483 Fucking hell! And I thought we'd had you straightened. 439 00:23:06,483 --> 00:23:07,843 CROWD LAUGHS 440 00:23:07,843 --> 00:23:11,443 Silence in court. All rise. 441 00:23:11,443 --> 00:23:13,003 Don't worry, Bet. 442 00:23:21,243 --> 00:23:24,443 My God. What are you doing? 443 00:23:24,443 --> 00:23:27,923 Sorry, Bet, we have to retrieve any suspect material. 444 00:23:27,923 --> 00:23:29,283 Look, I hate having to do this. 445 00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:32,563 Then why are you doing it? This is my home. 446 00:23:32,563 --> 00:23:34,843 This... This ain't a home. 447 00:23:34,843 --> 00:23:35,963 Look... 448 00:23:37,323 --> 00:23:40,363 ..your old man, I know his type. 449 00:23:40,363 --> 00:23:41,723 He's got his head in the clouds. 450 00:23:41,723 --> 00:23:43,523 He don't know what's going to happen next. 451 00:23:43,523 --> 00:23:45,203 Can you tell him to stop? 452 00:23:45,203 --> 00:23:47,763 I never really got over you, you know that? 453 00:23:48,963 --> 00:23:51,923 Are you sure you want to stay here? What do you mean? 454 00:23:51,923 --> 00:23:54,323 Plenty of room at my mum's. It's just me and her on our own. 455 00:23:54,323 --> 00:23:56,843 You're welcome to stay there till you get back on your feet. 456 00:23:56,843 --> 00:23:58,043 What, with a baby? 457 00:23:58,043 --> 00:23:59,203 Baby and all. 458 00:24:00,843 --> 00:24:04,843 It's always about tomorrow with blokes like Fred. 459 00:24:10,163 --> 00:24:11,203 Sorry. 460 00:24:12,883 --> 00:24:15,043 Tomorrow will do for me, Tom. 461 00:24:16,563 --> 00:24:19,163 We can't go yet. Mum and Dad, where's me mum and dad? 462 00:24:19,163 --> 00:24:20,843 Oh, here they are. 463 00:24:20,843 --> 00:24:23,843 Hold on, hold on. You don't even know where you're going. 464 00:24:23,843 --> 00:24:25,483 Course we do, Jaywick Sands. 465 00:24:25,483 --> 00:24:28,923 Forget about Jaywick Sands. You're off to London Airport. 466 00:24:28,923 --> 00:24:31,723 You're on the midnight flight to Majorca. 467 00:24:31,723 --> 00:24:33,683 You're going for a fortnight. 468 00:24:33,683 --> 00:24:35,243 You're joking! 469 00:24:37,163 --> 00:24:39,723 Honeymoon suite, the lot. All paid for. 470 00:24:41,683 --> 00:24:44,003 Aww, thanks. Driver's got your passports. 471 00:24:44,003 --> 00:24:46,523 Thanks, Fred. You're all right, mate, have a good time. 472 00:24:46,523 --> 00:24:48,443 Look after her, won't you? I will do. 473 00:24:48,443 --> 00:24:50,763 CAR ENGINE STARTS 474 00:24:50,763 --> 00:24:52,483 See you later. 475 00:24:52,483 --> 00:24:57,283 ALL SING: # Oh, this year I'm off to sunny Spain 476 00:24:57,283 --> 00:25:00,923 # Y viva Espana 477 00:25:05,203 --> 00:25:08,563 # Y viva Espana. # 478 00:25:08,563 --> 00:25:12,443 Did this have anything to do with Joey Churcher? 479 00:25:12,443 --> 00:25:15,523 Why else would I have that horrible ponce at the wedding? 480 00:25:15,523 --> 00:25:19,483 I do hope it's not going to be fully booked - I do remember the caravan. 481 00:25:19,483 --> 00:25:24,643 Ah, Bet, this one's silver service, first class all the way. 482 00:25:24,643 --> 00:25:26,123 And how have you paid for it? 483 00:25:26,123 --> 00:25:29,523 Car's gone. Looks like we're walking home. Fred. 484 00:25:29,523 --> 00:25:32,363 And I might have to borrow your watch in future. 485 00:25:32,363 --> 00:25:34,723 Oh, not your dad's fob watch. 486 00:25:34,723 --> 00:25:37,843 That's the one thing you said you'd never part with. Yeah. 487 00:25:37,843 --> 00:25:42,043 Well, if I can part with me daughter, I can part with a watch. 488 00:25:44,003 --> 00:25:46,683 Did you see her face? Yeah. 489 00:25:46,683 --> 00:25:49,243 You're full of surprises today, ain't you? 490 00:25:49,243 --> 00:25:51,243 Oh, yeah. 491 00:25:51,243 --> 00:25:54,803 Yes, I am. Shut up, everyone. Shut up. Shut up. 492 00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:59,243 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Right, ready, look up at the skies. 493 00:25:59,243 --> 00:26:00,403 Look at this. 494 00:26:00,403 --> 00:26:03,123 Wally! All right, Spud. When you're ready, go for it! 495 00:26:05,603 --> 00:26:08,203 ALL: Ahh! 496 00:26:08,203 --> 00:26:10,523 Yeah. FRED LAUGHS 497 00:26:13,483 --> 00:26:16,123 Well, that's it, I'm not fucking made of money. That's it. 498 00:26:16,123 --> 00:26:18,203 That's your lot. ALL CHEER 499 00:26:20,363 --> 00:26:22,243 KNOCK ON DOOR 500 00:26:22,243 --> 00:26:26,123 What now? I've got nothing left. 501 00:26:29,403 --> 00:26:31,643 Who are you? This is for you. 502 00:26:33,483 --> 00:26:36,803 And this lot. Where do you want it? 503 00:26:36,803 --> 00:26:38,843 Oh, anywhere. 504 00:26:41,323 --> 00:26:42,803 Where's all this come from? 505 00:26:42,803 --> 00:26:46,243 He said to say it's from Vic Damone. 506 00:26:46,243 --> 00:26:48,523 DANNY: A proper couple my mum and dad. 507 00:26:48,523 --> 00:26:50,083 Married for 25 years now. 508 00:26:50,083 --> 00:26:51,763 25 years! 509 00:26:51,763 --> 00:26:54,123 Dad still never worries about a thing. 510 00:26:54,123 --> 00:26:57,403 And Mum, well, she tries her best to keep up. 511 00:27:04,963 --> 00:27:06,603 Do you want to find somewhere? 512 00:27:07,963 --> 00:27:10,243 What? Like, do you mean...? 513 00:27:10,243 --> 00:27:12,203 It's a wedding night, ain't it? 514 00:27:14,843 --> 00:27:16,123 Yeah. 515 00:27:25,603 --> 00:27:27,683 Hey, this will do. 516 00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:33,043 Hello? Who's that? Danny. 517 00:27:33,043 --> 00:27:35,283 Dad? It's me, Danny. 518 00:27:35,283 --> 00:27:37,323 What do you want? 519 00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:40,403 I...was just wondering where Mum is. 520 00:27:40,403 --> 00:27:42,803 Yeah? Well, she's in here with me. 521 00:27:42,803 --> 00:27:45,763 Is she? Yeah. 522 00:27:45,763 --> 00:27:47,803 She can't come out. 523 00:27:47,803 --> 00:27:49,643 She's helping me look for something. 524 00:27:51,523 --> 00:27:55,443 # But I will ignore the best of me 525 00:27:56,843 --> 00:28:01,083 # For the future of what used to be 526 00:28:02,523 --> 00:28:06,483 # Cos I'm willing for the best of me 527 00:28:07,683 --> 00:28:12,163 # With a picture of what used to be 528 00:28:13,643 --> 00:28:17,763 # And I will live all the best of me 529 00:28:18,883 --> 00:28:22,803 # With a picture of what used to be. #