♪ Hey, guitar player ♪
♪ Watch me backflip ♪
♪ Let me work my magic ♪
♪ If you only knew ♪
♪ How to laugh and dance ♪
♪ Whether you're a pancakes Or waffles man ♪
♪ We still got a whole lot left to learn ♪
♪ If you only knew ♪
♪ We'll do something new ♪
♪ Start a snowball fight in June ♪
♪ If you only knew ♪
♪ Watch me backflip ♪
♪ Let me work my magic ♪
♪ If you only knew How the game has changed ♪
♪ You'd think it's kind of nice Even when it rains ♪
♪ But take any advice With a grain of salt ♪
♪ If you only knew ♪
♪ Watch me backflip ♪
♪ Let me work my magic ♪
♪ Watch me backflip ♪
♪ Let me work my magic ♪
[birds chirping]
[narrator yawns]
Well, good morning! Hello! What a beautiful day!
Everything's perfect here, wouldn't you say?
Oh, except for one thing, and it's quite horrifying.
Guy's friend, Sam-I-Am, has been Sam-I-Am-Lying.
[yawning]
What a beautiful morning!
Mmm.
Hey, good news.
When I was little, I used to get beat up for my lunch money.
How is that good news?
Because it's why I started saving my money in this ziggy bank.
[coins jangling]
[ziggy bank oinks]
Six bruckles!
Just enough to put you, me, and Jenkins on this afternoon's ferry to Meepville.
Mr. Jenkins, right.
Uh, you know, what's the rush? I'm sure there's another ferry tomorrow.
What's wrong with you? We're almost there.
One more boat ride, and Mr. Jenkins will finally be safe.
[narrator] Poor Guy. So clueless, naive as a Flerz.
Sam's selling Mr. J to that no-good Snerz.
Come on! I'm starving. How about some breakfast?
[sizzling]
-[squawking] -[child] He's so cool!
-[children laughing] -[Mr. Jenkins squawking]
Uh, son, your mother and I want to apologize for how we reacted
when you told us about your new Paint Watching job last night.
Uh, so we, uh, painted this for you, uh...
[mother] I-Is it dry yet?
[laughs] You tell us.
We don't have the gift.
Will you forgive us?
No, I will not.
-[both gasp] -[all gasp]
[gasps]
Because there's nothing to forgive.
[chuckles]
-Oh, I'm lucky to have you all. -It's nice.
[Guy] Not everyone has a home to... Well, to come home to,
and I should have come back here more often.
Oh!
-Mmm! -Oh, okay.
Oh! [laughs]
Hand, hand.
We raised a good son.
I mean, look at what you and your selfless, heroic friend Sam
are doing for that trusting, innocent Chickeraffe.
-Jenkins is in good hands. -[squawking]
Sam, I think your eggs are burning.
Huh? Yeah. [grunts]
[blowing]
[chuckles] Yeah, okay.
[whispering] Keep it together, I-Am.
[clears throat] Who's first? Sunny-side up.
Sunny-side down.
Sunny-side sideways.
Over easy.
-Over complicated. -Oh! [giggles]
The rest of the Am-I's seem to love it.
Maybe that runs in the family?
What do you say, Guy? Is it finally time to give them a try?
[groans]
Nah.
Flup!
You know what?
Why not?
Hand me that weird little fork, Sam-I-Am.
[gasps]
[all gasp]
[gasping]
-[doorbell rings] -Huh?
Ah! So close.
A random visitor at this hour?
It can only be something pleasant. [giggles]
[gasps]
Greetings.
Can I help you?
-[Gluntz] We're the BADGUYS. -[gasps]
[McWinkle] And we're here for Guy-Am-I.
-[mother] Guy! -[gasps]
The BADGUYS are here to see you!
Be sure not to take off so soon!
He's always in such a hurry!
-[laughs nervously] -[Mr. Jenkins squawks]
Oh!
Hold it right there.
[slurping]
[sighs] Coffee?
No, thanks! Caffeine makes me hyper.
Please come in. Make yourselves comfortable...
[grunts] ...so that I can show you a few pictures of Guy as a child.
[sighs deeply]
-We really don't have time-- -I love a baby photo!
He was such a cute boy.
He couldn't escape our hugs.
Into the briefcase, buddy.
Oh, this was the year he tried to run away from home.
Here he is in his rebellious phase.
He thought he could get away with anything. [laughs]
And here he is with his first tooth.
Put him in! [grunting]
[squawks]
[mother] ...second tooth, and when the third tooth came in...
-[exclaims] -[mug shatters]
-...didn't he make a fuss. -Ma'am, stop.
-We know what you're doing. -Yeah.
You can't stop yelling
about how much you love your son!
-[pan clatters] -[gasps]
Hold it right there, Sam.
Oh! Hey, BADGUYS.
You are looking fit.
I guess all that endless chasing after us is good cardio. [laughs nervously]
Save the flimflam, I-Am.
We both know you're not who you say you am.
-What does he mean? -Gotta go! Bye!
Oh, uh, son, don't forget your briefcase!
-[exclaims] -[panting]
[panting]
[grunts]
-It's locked! Climb over! -[exclaims]
[grunts]
-[struggling] -[McWinkle] We got you.
[Sam and Guy] Whoa!
Hand over the Chickeraffe, boys.
Well, we nearly did it, AOFMB. Almost on the ferry to Meepville, buddy.
Ooh! What is this?
-Hold on! -Oh, oh!
Oh! [sniffs]
Oh, it's cantaloupe! The garbage fruit!
I'll protect you, sir!
Is that all you got?
[laughs]
I found your old Cantaloupeapult blueprints, Uncle Guy!
No one eats this stuff 'cause it's awful!
-[McWinkle grunts] -[child] Got ya!
[grunts] Come on!
You're supposed to have my six, Gluntz. This is on you.
I'm hit!
Oh, it's in my mouth. [spitting]
I can still taste it!
Oh, it's never gonna go away!
Get in the boat! Get in the boat! Get in the boat!
[screams]
[grunting frantically]
-We could swim for it! -They're too far gone.
-We'd never make it. -[gulps]
-[growls] -I think it's time for you to leave!
-Ma'am, your son... -Your adorable son.
...is in serious trouble.
If you want to help him, tell us where that ferry is going.
Why would I help you? You're the BADGUYS!
Darn right, we are! BADGUY proud!
Well, then, I'm not telling you anything. You're bad.
I'm sorry. One more time?
You're bad?
What? Are you kidding me? [laughs] This lady...
No, no, no, no, no. We're good.
But you're the BADGUYS.
And we are good.
No! You and that scary fella are the BADGUYS.
And we're good! See?
-This says BADGUYS. -Exactly!
It stands for Bureau of Animal Defense Glurfsburg Upper Yipville Section.
[narrator] That's a surprise. You got it all wrong.
Turns out the BADGUYS have been good all along.
[laughs]
I wanted to share that with you for the longest time.
You have no idea how hard it was for me not to spoil it! Oh!
Okay, to be fair, your name is a little misleading.
Gluntz? I get that a lot.
It's a family name, shortened from O'Gluntzenburg
-by my great-great... -[boat horn sounds]
...great-great-great-grandfather. No wait. Sorry, scratch that.
-It was my great-great... -[growls]
...great-great-great-great...
[horn blares]
-Bon voyage! -Have a great time!
Have fun in Meepville!
Phew!
Well, Guy, we are on our way to Meepville, and everything's gonna be just great.
Guy? Guy!
-Guy! -Shh, shh, shh, shh.
-[whispers] They're here! -[chuckles]
Okay. Are we following them, or are they following us?
[gasps] This is great! Let's go say hi.
-[grunts] -No, I can't talk to her.
Remember back at the cabin when the Goat showed up?
She was finally warming up to me, and I pushed her away.
Well, then pull her back.
You're not the same Guy you used to be, you know.
-Hey, there, fellow passengers! -[gasps]
Okay, are we following you, or are you following us?
I know, right?
[in high-pitched voice] Hi!
[clears throat] I mean, hello.
Hmm!
Great start. You're in.
While you two continue this scintillating conversation,
why don't I take E.B. for some lunch?
[sighs] Fine.
Come on, Mr. Jenkins, I have so much to tell you.
E.B., you keep an eye on him.
[door opens]
Psst!
[hums suggestively]
[smooches]
-[Sam chuckles] -Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
[smooches]
[chuckles] [clicks tongue]
[laughs awkwardly]
Hmph!
Okay...
Mmm! Mmm! Oh!
Mmm! [gulps]
Oh, thank so much for the mulberry sweetles, Mrs. Am-I.
-Oh! -[laughs] Call me Karen.
And it's my pleasure.
Anything for such a lovely pair of BADGUYS.
-[laughs] -[gulps]
-Yeah, I hear it now. -[McWinkle] Shh!
It's ringing.
The Bigman is not gonna be happy.
-[Bigman on phone] Hello. -McWinkle here.
[Bigman] You big, blue idiot! I heard you let them get away!
Yes, they did get away,
Captain Bigman, but--
How the heck did you lose the target this time?
They were in the house!
You were in the house!
And now they're on a boat?
Why are you not on the boat?
Please explain to me how there's a boat with a target on it,
but a conspicuous absence of you!
Well, you see, Captain Bigman,
we were taken out by a dastardly band of accomplices
-armed with WMDs. -[slurps]
Weaponized Melon Devices?
It was cantaloupe!
Oh, the horror, the disgust...
-The garbage fruit. -[mug shatters]
It's like 90% of every fruit salad.
I know, right?
[yells] But that's no excuse!
Now you listen, and listen good.
I want you on your way to Meepville before I hang up this phone.
You two imbeciles
better beat that ferry to that dock
and get that target,
or be ready to hand in your badges!
Understand?
Yes, sir, Captain Bigman.
I am hanging up!
[Gluntz grunts]
-[sighs] -[dial tone]
Ma'am, we're gonna need to commandeer your family vehicle.
Also, a few more of these sweetles?
Mmm! Amazing! Mmm.
[rocks cracking]
[gasps] Oh!
[whimpers]
-[Guy] So, um... -[groans]
Next stop Meepville, huh?
Yes, and I know you don't want any company on your journey,
so I'll leave you to it.
-Michellee, wait! -Wait?
I'm sorry, are you saying you want me around?
Because the last time I saw you,
you said we'd be better off going our separate ways.
I was wrong.
-I'm not so sure you were. -I was!
It was a stupid thing to say,
and the only reason I said it was to protect you and E.B.
[sighs]
But it was dumb,
and it hurt you...
and for that, I'm deeply sorry.
[sentimental music plays]
I--
-[alarm blares] -Huh?
-Oh!
[Guy exclaims]
[Michellee] We're headed straight for that wall!
[both gasp]
[both exclaim]
[both scream]
[both whimper]
Huh?
[gasps]
-[Guy laughs] -[Michellee laughs]
[Guy] Whoa!
Oh.
[laughs] [gasps]
Forgive me?
I appreciate the apology,
but you really hurt me back at the cabin, and...
I don't want to go through that again.
Welcome to the Gravy Boat,
where we go overboard to serve you.
May I take your order, Captains?
I'll have the green eggs and ham, please.
Whoa! Way to go, E.B.
They are excellent on a boat.
[in pirate accent] Let it be two orders, matey,
and I'll take mine over hard.
[waiter] Don't.
Just don't.
I'm so excited Mr. Jenkins is almost home!
You and Guy are heroes for taking such good care
-of my first official non-pet pet. -[Mr. Jenkins squawking]
[Sam laughs guiltily]
I don't know if I'd use the word heroes.
I do! You're rescuing an innocent, endangered animal
and taking him home!
Mr. Jenkins is so close to being back on Chickeraffe Island
with his real family,
and it's all thanks to you.
What's more heroic than that?
[waiter] Order up.
Avast and set sail on the 17 seas of flavor.
Oh, wow! You were right all along, Sam.
They look weird, and they sound awful, but... Mmm!
Green eggs and ham taste great!
Come on. You need energy to finish your big mission!
Mmm.
[sighs]
[door opens]
[breathes deeply]
[Guy exhales]
[sighs] I...
I don't blame you for thinking that it's easier to be alone.
I used to think like that, too.
It seemed like the only way to not get hurt or hurt others
was to be on my own.
Until I met you.
I feel safer when we're together.
All I want to do is to be able to give that same feeling to you.
I know I haven't.
I mean, I escaped from prison, I impersonated a carny for money,
I almost got your daughter killed by a... by a Goat--
Don't list more things.
[sighs]
I'm just asking you to give me one more chance to try.
["Beyond the Sea" playing]
Mmm. Mmm.
[swallows] Ah.
You're still not eating?
I'm not really hungry.
-You're always hungry! -I...
I get seasick.
But we're under the water now.
I get under-the-sea sick?
I think I know what's going on.
You're sad because you have to say goodbye to Mr. Jenkins soon.
It's okay, Sam.
I'm sad, too.
I love Mr. Jenkins, but you should be happy for him.
He's going home!
You're doing the right thing!
[sighs]
E.B., what if there was a person with a really big house,
like a really big, really nice house,
who would take care of Mr. Jenkins?
-Wouldn't that be a good place for him? -No! What?
That's no good!
You could take him to the biggest, nicest house in the world,
but it still wouldn't be his home.
[laughs]
[Mr. Jenkins purrs]
I bet he really misses his mom.
Don't you think?
♪ I know beyond a doubt... ♪
I know I would.
Exactly!
That's why you're taking him home to Chickeraffe Island.
[narrator] Sam tried to convince her, but deep down he knew
there really was only one thing he could do.
You're right, E.B.
Mr. Jenkins belongs one place and one place only,
with his family on Chickeraffe Island!
[man over PA] Attention. Submarine resurfacing.
Arr.
[narrator] Sam was now ready to set his pal free,
but to figure out how, he'd need help from E.B.
That reminds me.
You haven't earned your Honorary Wildlife Protector's badge.
Well, you've never mentioned it before.
That's because Wildlife Protectors value the element of surprise over all else.
Pop quiz, hot shot! Are you ready?
Yes! Surprised, but ready.
What is the best way to transport a Chickeraffe
from Meepville to Chickeraffe Island?
Pfff. That's easy.
-Cold air balloon from a cold airport. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
And how much would a balloon ticket cost, roughly in bruckles?
Same scenario.
What is this, a quiz for kids? 567 bruckles.
Hmm.
-Congratulations! -[yelps]
You just became an Honorary Wildlife Protector.
-That was a pretty easy quiz! -It just shows how overqualified you are.
Welcome to the force, kid.
Whoo-hoo!
Did you hear that, Mr. Jenkins? I'm officially protecting you.
-[Mr. Jenkins purrs] -[chuckles]
Now I am, too.
-Wow! -Dillikins!
[gasps]
[both laugh]
[sighs]
Ahoy there, friendos!
We had so much fun, Mom!
That's great, honey.
And I became an Honorary Wildlife Protector.
You two sure were getting nice and cozy.
[purrs] [chuckles]
[grumbles]
[ship's horn blares]
-Look! We made it! -[squawks]
The last leg of the journey to get Mr. J home.
-[squawks softly] -All right, Mr. Jenkins.
-Get home safe, okay? -[purrs]
You were the best first pet I could've ever wished for.
-[squawks softly] -And I'll never, ever forget you.
[purrs]
[laughs] [sighs]
[squawks softly]
I love you, too.
Hmm.
-Do you have a piece of paper? -Uh, p-paper?
Oh, I'm-- I'm sure I have some somewhere.
Ah-ha.
What-- What for?
For this.
[exhales] It's beautiful.
[giggles]
It's my phone number, dummy,
so you can call me.
[chuckles]
I got it.
I will.
[Michellee giggles]
[exhales]
Nice work, ladies' Guy.
Don't ruin it.
-Honey, we're going to Meepville! -[E.B.] The city that always meeps.
["Won't Get Fooled Again" playing]
[both scream]
Flee!
[both grunt]
[exclaims]
[grunting frantically]
[pants] Huh?
-[gasps] -[screams]
The Goat is on the boat!
I'm on the boat.
[song ends]
We gotta go. There's a Goat on the boat!
He'll take Jenkins to a collector. We gotta hide!
[sighs] It's lit up like a birthday cake down here.
[grunts]
Jump on.
Okay, but won't that also make it hard to see where we're going?
Come on. Quit screwing around and start unscrewing around.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow.
[grunts]
-Ouch! -Shh!
-You stepped on me! -I can't see anything!
Good. If you can't see anything, he can't either.
[both gasp]
Come on out, amigos.
I won't hurt you.
Just kidding.
I am totally going to hurt you.
[Goat approaching]
Huh?
[growls] [spits]
[grumbles]
[Goat departing]
[whispers] Is that... it?
-Did he give up? Is he gone? -I don't know.
[screams]
[both exclaim]
[Goat bangs on door]
-[both gasp] -[Sam screams]
[screams]
[exclaims]
It's jammed!
[inhales deeply]
[grunting]
Whoa!
-Whoa! -[yells]
[Sam screams]
-[Guy panting] -[man over PA] Ahoy. Abandon ship.
Please proceed to the lifeboats in an orderly fashion.
Arr!
[grunts] [pants]
-Whoa! [screams] -[Guy grunts]
[both screaming]
-[Goat] Hello, boys. -[Mr. Jenkins whimpers]
Good to see you again.
[squawks]
-No! -[grunts]
It's game over, birdie. [laughs]
[both gasp]
[Sam grunting] No!
-Mr. Jenkins! -[grunts]
[Mr. Jenkins whimpers]
♪ Hey, guitar player ♪
♪ Mmm ♪
♪ New York's number-one cut creator ♪
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
♪ Hey, speed skater ♪
♪ T-t-t-t-take a right ♪
♪ Let's put an ad in the papers ♪
♪ Uh ♪
♪ Backflip ♪
♪ You know what to do ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Backflip ♪
♪ You know what to do ♪
♪ Ooh, let your freak flag fly ♪
♪ Watch me backflip ♪
♪ Let me work my magic ♪
♪ Watch me backflip ♪
♪ Let me work my magic ♪