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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

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‎劇名：山羊

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‎真是個美好的早晨！

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‎雲朵快樂又輕盈，陽光燦爛

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‎天空湛藍！空氣…

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‎超級清脆？

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‎長頸雞，剛剛換過毛的

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‎牠在附近

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‎這裡有人坐嗎？

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‎不…沒有…這個地方是妳租的

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‎妳完全有權利坐在想坐的…

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‎請吧

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‎你知道，我剛剛在想

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‎要是你們願意，我們可以全部一起…

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‎一起去咇咇城？

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‎妳確定嗎？

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‎當然，這樣很合理

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‎畢竟人多一點比較安全

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‎你覺得呢？

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‎他說：“我們很願意”

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‎我們要去咇咇城了！

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‎這樣值得再吃一份！

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‎第三份！第17份！

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‎-誰還要？
‎-我！

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‎-我來幫忙
‎-我也是

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‎做得好，伊貝

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‎（史涅茲雜誌：
‎30天擁有史涅茲身材）

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‎史涅茲先生，我們的讀者很想知道…

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‎在這表面下真正的你

30
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‎沒有別人看過的哈維尼克史涅茲

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‎你能跟我們聊聊他嗎？

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‎還是不要好了

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‎好吧，那你能不能跟我們談談…

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‎-能不能描述一下…
‎-跳過

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‎-回應對於…
‎-跳過再跳過

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‎-先生，這樣我們很難訪問
‎-不要…跳過，下一題

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‎你對動物的熱愛呢？

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‎那是從何時開始的？

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‎也許是你的童年？

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‎我的童年？

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‎沒有必要提到那個

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‎那你的童年…

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‎不特別囉？

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‎妳開玩笑嗎？

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‎我的一切都很特別

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‎我的童年美妙極了！

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‎我會證明給妳看

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‎詳細描述我的過去

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‎準備好，妳要徹底被迷住了！

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‎天啊！

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‎此時在小屋裡，蓋伊的臉覺得有點怪

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‎他一直微笑著
‎本來陰鬱的心情變得晴朗

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‎不好意思！你能不能晚點再來？
‎我現在有很重要的…

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‎好吧！

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‎蓋伊！門口是誰？

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‎沒人

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‎我是說，我只看到一隻老山羊，但…

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‎你說“山羊”嗎？

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‎對，你有看到嗎？就在那裡

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‎可愛的小東西，對吧？

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‎哇！怎麼了？

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‎完全沒事！只要那隻山羊別來找我們

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‎不要再敲這扇…

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‎山姆，不要這樣

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‎我有點懷疑那隻山羊了

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‎蓋伊，聽我說

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‎我們面對的是
‎世上最厲害的動物綁架人

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‎牠是所有野生動物保護員的夢魘

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‎這隻山羊會想盡辦法抓到長頸雞

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‎不管抓到牠得打倒誰！

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‎讓女人們走吧

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‎什麼？不行！

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‎我們正要開車去咇咇城耶

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‎要是你在乎米雪莉跟伊貝

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‎就讓她們盡可能遠離這裡

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‎嘿！

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‎你們準備好要上路了嗎？

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‎我們都打包好了

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‎我們真的是打包傻豆

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‎我們是打包豆！

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‎我們不能跟妳們一起走

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‎什麼？

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‎為什麼？

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‎我覺得這樣比較安全…

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‎分開去咇咇城

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‎但我以為…我們說好了

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‎人多比較安全，對吧？

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‎蓋伊，要是有問題，你可以告訴我

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‎對不起

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‎妳們倆現在就該離開

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‎我以為我們要全部一起走

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‎計畫改變了

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‎我們四個人坐一輛車，會太好玩

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‎我想，就這樣了吧

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‎相信我，我們只是…

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‎我們自求多福比較好

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‎我能不能跟詹金斯先生道別？

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‎我可能不會再見到牠了

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‎我保證會傳達妳的話

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‎門卡住了

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‎只有一個合理的方法能出去

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‎來吧，伊貝

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‎保持安全，拜託

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‎你做得沒錯，你很勇敢

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‎其實，我們倆都非常…

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‎好吧，我們現在的選項有
‎把長頸雞給山羊…

107
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‎或是死掉！

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‎我們不能拋棄長頸雞！

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‎不要跟牠對上眼！否則只會讓牠更強

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‎山姆想破了腦袋，能從哪裡逃跑！

111
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‎但是這一次，蓋伊想到了…

112
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‎綠雞蛋和火腿

113
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‎快點多弄出一些綠雞蛋和火腿！

114
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‎這是最後的晚餐嗎？

115
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‎水煮的可以嗎？

116
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‎我覺得水煮的很好，要是你…

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‎快動手！

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‎山羊不會離開…

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‎除非長頸雞到手

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‎爸爸

121
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‎我們可以用簡單的方式處理

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‎或是可以用困難的方式處理，朋友

123
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‎不如叫你的小朋友也出來吧？

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‎可惜他很忙，老兄

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‎正在準備綠雞蛋和火腿

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‎聽起來不錯

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‎不如我們一起吃吧？

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‎不要

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‎我不要跟山羊一起吃

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‎你好像想選擇困難的路走

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‎這是困難的路嗎？

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‎我知道你是為了什麼來這裡

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00:10:20,418 --> 00:10:21,959
‎這可以給你，要是…

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‎你答應我，你會離那兩個女孩遠遠的

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‎就是剛剛開車離開的人
‎永遠不要接近她們

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‎朋友，不走困難的路，你很幸運

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‎可惡！

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‎（我是蓋伊發明品
‎警告：可能爆炸）

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‎那隻山羊根本沒看到
‎我把雞蛋偷偷放進牠的摩托車裡

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‎你的錄音機發明根本沒有…

141
00:11:26,543 --> 00:11:29,959
‎好吧，還是有點小問題要改進

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‎牠肯定追過來了，往山裡去吧

143
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‎我的童年…要從哪說起呢？

144
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‎我始終非常特別，非常厲害
‎非常史涅茲

145
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‎這可得說清楚

146
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‎但是我並非一開始就像妳所看到的我

147
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‎我曾經…

148
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‎很年輕

149
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‎我還是小史涅茲時

150
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‎我有隻寵物，福里摩

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‎牠是福里摩史上最厲害的福里摩

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‎也是厲害史上最厲害的！

153
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‎我跟我的福里摩非常要好

154
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‎我說的是永遠永遠的好朋友

155
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‎正是那種經典的男孩與福里摩的故事

156
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‎一切都很完美…

157
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‎直到那天早上

158
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‎我最好的朋友…

159
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‎不見了！

160
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‎牠去了哪裡？

161
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‎房子鎖得好好的

162
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‎牠一定在室內，除非…

163
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‎有人沒把門關好！

164
00:12:59,501 --> 00:13:03,126
‎那個人就是我媽

165
00:13:04,209 --> 00:13:06,959
‎都是她的錯

166
00:13:09,043 --> 00:13:12,918
‎我們的關係再也不一樣了

167
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:17,084
‎史涅茲先生，你對現在的情緒
‎有什麼評論呢？

168
00:13:17,751 --> 00:13:18,793
‎絕對沒有

169
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,959
‎只有輸家才有情緒

170
00:13:22,959 --> 00:13:26,084
‎我現在非常情緒化

171
00:13:26,793 --> 00:13:28,918
‎我真不敢相信，我們追丟了目標

172
00:13:29,584 --> 00:13:32,418
‎我們完全沒有任何的線索

173
00:13:32,626 --> 00:13:34,709
‎我們是史上最糟糕的壞蛋

174
00:13:35,084 --> 00:13:36,793
‎嘿，開心點，孩子

175
00:13:36,876 --> 00:13:39,168
‎至少，事情不會更壞了

176
00:13:40,376 --> 00:13:43,668
‎你說得沒錯！真是太好了！

177
00:13:44,209 --> 00:13:46,376
‎但是現在真的變得更壞了

178
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,543
‎你們好

179
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:51,459
‎想試試我們的招牌挑戰料理
‎火腿蛋末日嗎？

180
00:13:51,543 --> 00:13:53,793
‎吐司上有一打綠雞蛋

181
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,626
‎下面還有特大塊的火腿

182
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‎下面加上更多層吐司

183
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‎全包成一個大雞蛋

184
00:14:01,418 --> 00:14:02,751
‎有配菜嗎？

185
00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:04,168
‎有，水果沙拉

186
00:14:05,168 --> 00:14:06,168
‎不要

187
00:14:06,251 --> 00:14:09,168
‎裡面每次九成都是甜瓜

188
00:14:10,001 --> 00:14:12,043
‎垃圾水果

189
00:14:12,126 --> 00:14:15,751
‎你們夠勇敢能把它吃完
‎登上我們的名人榜嗎？

190
00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:18,168
‎只有一位飢餓的英雄成功過

191
00:14:18,251 --> 00:14:22,418
‎不要，不管是誰能吃完這種東西
‎一定是瘋子

192
00:14:30,418 --> 00:14:34,209
‎快點！快點坐上那個彎來彎去
‎“爬上山”的東西！

193
00:14:39,459 --> 00:14:41,126
‎我們安全了

194
00:14:41,293 --> 00:14:43,543
‎大家都知道，山羊不會爬山

195
00:14:45,668 --> 00:14:47,709
‎你這野生動物專家是怎麼當的？

196
00:14:47,793 --> 00:14:49,959
‎大家都知道山羊最會爬山！

197
00:14:50,043 --> 00:14:54,001
‎那是過時的刻板印象，我不想強化它

198
00:14:58,084 --> 00:14:59,834
‎牠在哪裡？我們怎麼停了？

199
00:14:59,918 --> 00:15:01,043
‎不好意思，各位

200
00:15:01,126 --> 00:15:04,043
‎顯然有人咬斷了我們的控制系統

201
00:15:04,168 --> 00:15:05,959
‎還有我們的廣播…

202
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‎蓋伊！抓緊我，保護自己！

203
00:15:12,918 --> 00:15:14,501
‎你瘋了嗎？我才不要…

204
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,418
‎不！詹金斯先生！

205
00:15:20,668 --> 00:15:22,793
‎你去哪裡了？大個兒！

206
00:15:34,959 --> 00:15:39,126
‎不！

207
00:15:55,834 --> 00:15:57,209
‎我們得要追上去

208
00:15:57,293 --> 00:15:59,084
‎但是我們上不去那裡

209
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‎我們沒辦法，但是我們會做到

210
00:16:05,168 --> 00:16:09,418
‎史涅茲先生，失去寵物福里摩
‎似乎對你有很大的影響

211
00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:12,626
‎你提到你跟你母親的關係
‎起了永久的變化？

212
00:16:12,709 --> 00:16:14,793
‎我們從那之後，就沒說過話

213
00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:17,459
‎等等，你從你六歲之後

214
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,209
‎就沒跟你母親說過話？

215
00:16:19,293 --> 00:16:21,584
‎-沒錯
‎-連假日也沒有？

216
00:16:21,668 --> 00:16:23,793
‎-當然沒有
‎-她的生日呢？

217
00:16:23,876 --> 00:16:25,876
‎她生日尤其沒有

218
00:16:25,959 --> 00:16:27,959
‎就連母親節也是？

219
00:16:28,418 --> 00:16:29,293
‎其實，有

220
00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:33,168
‎喂？史涅茲媽媽？

221
00:16:33,418 --> 00:16:35,918
‎您的冰箱是否跑得很正常呢？

222
00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:38,626
‎是的話，要小心別被冰箱給跑了

223
00:16:40,168 --> 00:16:41,918
‎沒錯，這不是妳兒子，再見

224
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,418
‎哈維？

225
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,001
‎最討厭了！

226
00:16:46,501 --> 00:16:50,293
‎沒有人能擋在我跟我的寵物之間
‎就算是我親媽也不行

227
00:16:50,418 --> 00:16:54,834
‎就像我總是這樣說
‎喜歡什麼就得把它綁住

228
00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:56,959
‎這甚至也是我自傳的書名

229
00:16:57,084 --> 00:17:00,168
‎現在在各大好壞書店都買得到

230
00:17:19,543 --> 00:17:20,709
‎媽媽

231
00:17:20,793 --> 00:17:23,126
‎妳覺得我們會再見到山姆跟蓋伊嗎？

232
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,626
‎我要是能決定就不會

233
00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:27,418
‎我們的生命中不需要那樣的人，伊貝

234
00:17:31,168 --> 00:17:34,709
‎那個蓋伊說他想要我們能安全
‎但妳知道我怎麼想嗎？

235
00:17:34,793 --> 00:17:38,876
‎他們包準是在哪裡放鬆，玩得很開心

236
00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:41,084
‎無憂無慮

237
00:17:43,543 --> 00:17:46,376
‎我們要死了…！

238
00:17:46,459 --> 00:17:49,959
‎好吧，米雪莉覺得很生氣
‎這也不能怪她

239
00:17:50,126 --> 00:17:54,126
‎但別忘了那隻山羊
‎正要把我們的朋友們打扁了！

240
00:17:55,168 --> 00:17:57,001
‎蓋伊！我們到了！

241
00:17:57,459 --> 00:17:59,876
‎我們現在只要爬到那個我們正上方

242
00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:02,876
‎位置很奇怪的巨石結構

243
00:18:07,126 --> 00:18:12,126
‎你們兩個以為可以毀了我的機車
‎帶著我的貨物逃走嗎？

244
00:18:12,668 --> 00:18:14,876
‎-就這樣得逞？
‎-那是我們的朋友

245
00:18:15,376 --> 00:18:17,209
‎你這吃罐子的怪物！

246
00:18:25,584 --> 00:18:27,793
‎那老頭可以等一等

247
00:18:28,209 --> 00:18:31,876
‎我要慢慢對付你們

248
00:18:31,959 --> 00:18:33,959
‎蓋伊！告訴我媽，我愛她

249
00:18:34,209 --> 00:18:37,043
‎幫我跟她道歉，我把果汁灑在毯子上

250
00:18:37,126 --> 00:18:40,751
‎我也要死了，要怎麼告訴你媽？

251
00:18:41,418 --> 00:18:42,251
‎有道理

252
00:18:42,668 --> 00:18:45,709
‎誰來告訴我們的媽媽，我們愛她們！

253
00:18:48,584 --> 00:18:51,293
‎媽媽！

254
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,959
‎你知道牠能那樣做嗎？

255
00:19:31,043 --> 00:19:33,084
‎你該看看旅館房間被牠怎麼了

256
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:48,043
‎不！詹金斯先生！

257
00:19:48,168 --> 00:19:49,418
‎旅館房間…

258
00:19:50,168 --> 00:19:52,043
‎撿球！玩撿球遊戲！

259
00:19:52,126 --> 00:19:54,293
‎詹金斯先生！我們來玩撿球遊戲！

260
00:19:54,668 --> 00:19:56,126
‎去撿…詹金斯！

261
00:19:59,501 --> 00:20:00,501
‎來玩撿球遊戲！

262
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:11,626
‎走吧！

263
00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:14,959
‎我們要怎麼辦？

264
00:20:16,626 --> 00:20:17,501
‎上去吧！

265
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:18,793
‎-什麼？
‎-快點！

266
00:20:34,459 --> 00:20:36,876
‎這個場面做成明信片會很不錯

267
00:20:37,043 --> 00:20:38,334
‎你看山羊有活命嗎？

268
00:20:38,418 --> 00:20:41,668
‎我不要留下來找答案，走吧

269
00:20:43,918 --> 00:20:46,834
‎不好意思這樣不請自來，史涅茲媽媽

270
00:20:46,918 --> 00:20:49,834
‎但是你兒子跟福里摩的這個故事

271
00:20:49,918 --> 00:20:50,793
‎是真的嗎？

272
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,751
‎不完全是

273
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:58,084
‎哈維還是怪我
‎害他丟了他那可憐的福里摩

274
00:20:58,251 --> 00:21:01,126
‎但是事實是，我不忍心告訴他

275
00:21:01,209 --> 00:21:03,418
‎當晚到底發生了什麼事

276
00:21:03,501 --> 00:21:04,376
‎來吧！

277
00:21:06,376 --> 00:21:09,376
‎他好愛那個小寵物

278
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:13,293
‎我發誓…他幾乎要悶死牠了

279
00:21:19,209 --> 00:21:21,709
‎我覺得那個小動物很可憐

280
00:21:22,501 --> 00:21:25,293
‎大家都值得被愛，但是…

281
00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:28,459
‎不需要被愛成那樣

282
00:21:31,584 --> 00:21:36,084
‎我知道小哈維知道了會很難過

283
00:21:36,209 --> 00:21:39,834
‎他唯一的朋友離開了他

284
00:21:46,376 --> 00:21:51,709
‎所以我告訴他，我不小心忘了關門

285
00:21:53,876 --> 00:21:57,834
‎但我恐怕在那之後
‎他看我的眼神就再也不一樣了

286
00:21:59,918 --> 00:22:04,543
‎但我寧願我的孩子不原諒他的母親

287
00:22:05,418 --> 00:22:07,626
‎也不要他不原諒自己

288
00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:15,126
‎脖子洞夠小嗎？

289
00:22:16,751 --> 00:22:18,293
‎是的，史涅茲先生

290
00:22:18,459 --> 00:22:19,876
‎那尾巴呢？

291
00:22:20,626 --> 00:22:23,168
‎尾巴非常牢固，先生

292
00:22:23,584 --> 00:22:27,168
‎所以我的長頸雞永遠無法離開我囉？

293
00:22:27,251 --> 00:22:30,168
‎是的，史涅茲先生…牠永遠離不開

294
00:22:30,959 --> 00:22:33,084
‎永遠離不開…

295
00:22:37,376 --> 00:22:39,001
‎那我就先…

296
00:22:39,584 --> 00:22:41,459
‎在上頭待一下囉

297
00:22:47,126 --> 00:22:49,168
‎我的毛都結凍了

298
00:22:50,418 --> 00:22:51,918
‎蓋伊，你看！

299
00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:53,126
‎有公車站

300
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:02,084
‎借個光，不好意思，泰德
‎對不起，蘇珊，妳的行李箱真好看

301
00:23:02,168 --> 00:23:03,293
‎（阿爾友善店）

302
00:23:05,834 --> 00:23:07,334
‎綠雞蛋和火腿！

303
00:23:08,293 --> 00:23:10,459
‎大家都來一份吧

304
00:23:11,584 --> 00:23:12,626
‎馬上就來

305
00:23:12,751 --> 00:23:13,709
‎你在做什麼？

306
00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:14,959
‎（咇咇卡：山羊）

307
00:23:15,043 --> 00:23:16,918
‎安啦，雪崩好兄弟

308
00:23:17,001 --> 00:23:18,418
‎山羊請客

309
00:23:18,626 --> 00:23:22,126
‎他也好心買了這個
‎不顯眼的新行李箱給我們

310
00:23:22,209 --> 00:23:25,501
‎這在各大商店跟巴士站都有賣

311
00:23:26,043 --> 00:23:28,668
‎先生，我的綠雞蛋和火腿

312
00:23:28,751 --> 00:23:31,459
‎請做成高蛋白奶昔外帶

313
00:23:31,709 --> 00:23:36,043
‎我的好朋友跟我要坐下一班巴士
‎去煙囪鎮

314
00:23:36,418 --> 00:23:37,501
‎煙囪鎮？

315
00:23:37,668 --> 00:23:39,918
‎不行！有更好的路線吧？

316
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:42,709
‎太晚了，票已經買好了

317
00:23:51,918 --> 00:23:55,084
‎5點17分開往煙囪鎮的巴士

318
00:23:55,168 --> 00:23:57,126
‎現在可以上車

319
00:24:02,876 --> 00:24:04,834
‎我覺得不太舒服

320
00:24:04,918 --> 00:24:08,126
‎我告訴過妳不要點那個怪東西

321
00:24:08,209 --> 00:24:11,043
‎看起來有人沒辦法吃完火腿蛋末日

322
00:24:11,626 --> 00:24:14,959
‎不好意思，妳不能登上名人榜

323
00:24:15,459 --> 00:24:18,168
‎我猜現在唯一能做的就是…

324
00:24:19,084 --> 00:24:23,293
‎打給老大，承認我們追丟了目標

325
00:24:23,709 --> 00:24:29,626
‎沒有辦法追蹤他們的下落…

326
00:24:36,251 --> 00:24:37,293
‎（雪維佐頓）

327
00:24:45,209 --> 00:24:46,668
‎動物在他們手上

328
00:24:46,834 --> 00:24:49,918
‎現在只需要查出他們往哪裡去了

329
00:24:53,543 --> 00:24:54,709
‎長頸雞那些人？

330
00:24:55,334 --> 00:24:57,584
‎對，就兩個普通人

331
00:24:57,668 --> 00:25:00,418
‎一個吃了半份燕麥泥
‎另一個單點綠雞蛋

332
00:25:03,751 --> 00:25:06,793
‎這是他們留下的唯一證據

333
00:25:08,043 --> 00:25:10,043
‎綠雞蛋和火腿

334
00:25:11,209 --> 00:25:13,418
‎我低估了這兩個

335
00:25:13,876 --> 00:25:17,626
‎他們是犯罪大首腦兩人組

336
00:25:27,209 --> 00:25:29,043
‎我知道怎麼找到他了

337
00:26:21,668 --> 00:26:23,584
‎字幕翻譯：廖子頤