1
00:00:10,233 --> 00:00:12,566
You finished up
choring the other day.
2
00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:13,900
Fucking...
3
00:00:15,133 --> 00:00:17,166
Great day for hay.
4
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,966
Wanna know
the worst part
about doing hay,
5
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,700
is all the dust and debris
what gets up your beak.
6
00:00:22,566 --> 00:00:23,966
(BLOWING)
7
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,833
Well, that's definitely
the top three worst
parts to doing hay, yeah.
8
00:00:26,866 --> 00:00:28,566
Fuck sakes, Dan,
clean it up.
9
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:29,900
That's what I was
doing, Ms. Katys.
10
00:00:29,933 --> 00:00:31,433
Don't blow your nose
on your sleeve.
11
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:34,566
Well, how hard actually
works if you never
blown your nose on your shirt.
12
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,033
KATY: Why are you
taking your boots off, Dary?
13
00:00:36,066 --> 00:00:38,100
Is this the degen convention,
or what's the scoop?
14
00:00:38,133 --> 00:00:39,400
Well how hard've you
actually worked
15
00:00:39,433 --> 00:00:41,866
if you don't kick
your boots off
the second you're through?
16
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:43,733
Keep those flippers
away from me.
17
00:00:43,766 --> 00:00:46,100
What? Don't wanna
my feet marinate
in my sweaty boots.
18
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:48,033
I suggest you don't let
that one marinate.
19
00:00:48,066 --> 00:00:49,866
So you might get
toe‐nail fungus.
20
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,266
on account of it's
so moist in there.
21
00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,666
That'll be the last time
I hear that word
coming out of your mouth.
22
00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:54,733
What, fungus?
23
00:00:54,766 --> 00:00:55,900
No.
Marinate?
24
00:00:55,933 --> 00:00:57,533
No.
Oh.
25
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,366
MEN: Moist.
26
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,800
Don't tell that
to the good folks
of Moist Jaw, Saskatchewan.
27
00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:05,100
Or the good folks
at Mira‐moisti where
they love shucking moysters.
28
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,866
Don't forget about
Moistness Tennessees.
29
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,000
The Moist‐issippi's
a great river.
30
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:09,033
You've ever been to Moisti‐Gras?
31
00:01:09,066 --> 00:01:11,000
No, but I've been to
the rocky Moisten‐range
32
00:01:11,033 --> 00:01:12,533
in the United States
of Amoistica.
33
00:01:12,566 --> 00:01:13,466
I will fight you.
34
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:15,233
What have got against
the Moistro Fresh Wes?
35
00:01:15,266 --> 00:01:16,633
Moist Def.
36
00:01:16,666 --> 00:01:18,166
Modest Moist.
The Moisty Moisty Bosstones.
37
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,100
Paul Moist‐cartney.
38
00:01:19,133 --> 00:01:20,966
That fucker wrote
Yesterday , Katy.
39
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,100
Gucci‐Moist, Meek Moist,
Moisty Cyrus.
40
00:01:23,133 --> 00:01:25,000
The Moist‐Fits, Dead‐Moist.
41
00:01:25,033 --> 00:01:26,933
Moist‐tallica's,
Moisters of Puppets.
42
00:01:26,966 --> 00:01:28,600
I'll fucking fight you.
43
00:01:28,633 --> 00:01:30,233
Get 'er a shot of
fuckin' Jagger‐moister.
44
00:01:30,266 --> 00:01:31,933
Or a Captain Moist‐gan's
and Coke.
45
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,533
We should get her
a Moister Energy Drink ,
46
00:01:33,566 --> 00:01:35,100
and then we should
all go race Moisto‐cross.
47
00:01:35,133 --> 00:01:36,700
Race some moister trucks.
What's the problem?
48
00:01:41,233 --> 00:01:42,866
(GAGGING)
49
00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:43,900
Oh, Jesus.
50
00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:46,966
Watch the smokes.
51
00:01:49,266 --> 00:01:51,000
There you go.
Now you're moist.
52
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,900
This display courtesy,
of the Three Moist‐ kateers.
53
00:01:55,933 --> 00:01:58,933
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
54
00:02:10,733 --> 00:02:11,933
What are yous doing?
55
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:13,100
What are yous doing?
56
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,166
I asked you first.
57
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,666
Not drinking at 11:00 a. m.
58
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:18,166
How is that for an answer,
you fucking degen?
59
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,233
Bitch.
60
00:02:19,266 --> 00:02:20,566
That's Queen Bitch, Ugly.
61
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,966
Who comes to the bar
in their barn clothes,
you fucking Ogre?
62
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,966
Yeah, tell Shrek we said hello.
63
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,566
And try not to
fuck his donkey.
64
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,100
Cannibal's a compliment
for you.
65
00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:31,100
Keep walking, Critter.
Tough talk.
66
00:02:31,133 --> 00:02:32,533
She can back it up too.
67
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,500
Try it.
68
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,600
KATY: You selling
cigarettes to kids?
69
00:02:37,633 --> 00:02:38,933
Can I help you?
70
00:02:38,966 --> 00:02:40,766
I have a feeling
you're the ones
that are gonna need help.
71
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:41,700
Move along, Skank.
72
00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:43,633
You're not from
around here, are you?
73
00:02:43,666 --> 00:02:44,800
You're deaf?
74
00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:46,933
Take. A. Walk.
75
00:02:50,733 --> 00:02:51,900
You's are in deep shit.
76
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,266
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
77
00:02:58,866 --> 00:03:00,700
DAX: I'll give you
a different kind of
clap bomb, boys.
78
00:03:00,733 --> 00:03:02,666
Four pink pills
and she's gone though,
I promise.
79
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,133
Let's set up
in Gretz's office, boys.
80
00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:05,933
Work my quiet zone.
You know what I'm saying?
81
00:03:05,966 --> 00:03:07,300
Remember the Louisville
rubber shaft?
82
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:09,000
Have a Daxiville
rubber shaft.
83
00:03:09,033 --> 00:03:10,266
Let's have
a Ronnybrooke.
84
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:13,033
Short side, far side,
blind side, gimme
your best shot.
85
00:03:13,066 --> 00:03:15,766
Five holes are wide open,
boys, take it. Take it!
86
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,933
I can stick handle
inside a phone booth, boys.
87
00:03:17,966 --> 00:03:19,266
Let's see your handles.
Show me.
88
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,900
I'm a late round
performer, boys.
89
00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:21,933
Let's go seven.
90
00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:25,933
I have to say, boys,
91
00:03:25,966 --> 00:03:28,533
that is some of
the finest chirping
that I've ever received.
92
00:03:28,566 --> 00:03:30,533
Ever?
And you're shrines too.
93
00:03:30,566 --> 00:03:32,800
your temples, my God.
First team all‐stars.
94
00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:35,833
Take that to the temples,
boys, two days written
all over you.
95
00:03:35,866 --> 00:03:37,933
But people aren't
supposed to
enjoy being catcalled.
96
00:03:37,966 --> 00:03:39,500
Yeah, supposed to...
97
00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:41,866
not enjoy being catcalled.
98
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,200
Yeah, hey, fuck buddy,
if anybody knows
99
00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:44,500
how hot we are,
you're looking at 'em.
100
00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:46,966
There's a line‐up
around the block
for this bop‐bop shop.
101
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,866
Yeah, and nobody's
kicking this kid out of bed
102
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:50,300
for eating crackers
that's for sure.
103
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:53,700
I've yet to see one customer
not come back for seconds
at that buffet.
104
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,566
Yeah, I bet you thought
everybody skips
a continental breakfast.
105
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:57,900
Guess what, they don't.
106
00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,833
Take this ride
and you're getting
right back in line, boys.
107
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,866
Truth is, you're
not really
our type, boys.
108
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:05,600
Bull‐fucking‐shit.
Think we don't see you
rocking semis?
109
00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:07,700
We're gay guys at the gym,
we're always rocking semis.
110
00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:09,133
It's true though.
You're not our type.
111
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,733
What is your type then,
you fucking liar?
112
00:04:10,766 --> 00:04:11,866
BOTH: Otters.
113
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,200
Like the Eerie Otters?
114
00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:15,666
Like the Cal State
Monterey Bay Otters?
115
00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:17,766
No, otters are what
we call skinny hairy dudes.
116
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,933
Points for creativity, boys.
117
00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:19,833
Love the hustle, boys.
118
00:04:19,866 --> 00:04:22,066
so, what are we
supposed to call you then?
119
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:23,566
Our gay buddies
from the gym, or...
120
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,200
We took gay in the expansion
draft from you about
a hundred years back.
121
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,600
Butch?
Shout out to our sisters
in the women's league.
122
00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:30,000
Fruit?
Fruit had a cup of coffee
in the show
123
00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:32,700
a few decades back,
but never really produced
for either of us.
124
00:04:32,733 --> 00:04:34,666
Bear?
You guys released
bear a while back
125
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:36,800
for under performing
and we got her
at a friendly price.
126
00:04:36,833 --> 00:04:38,666
Been a real stud
for us ever since.
127
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:41,066
Cub?
Cub's been consistent since
he put her on line with Bear.
128
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:42,833
Poofter?
Still playing overseas.
129
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,166
Likely gonna retire there.
130
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,133
Nellie?
Only your grandpa
remembers that alumni.
131
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:48,066
Homo?
Homo maybe
in your ring of honor,
132
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,600
but never forget
the body checks
133
00:04:49,633 --> 00:04:51,533
our goons threw down
to end that career.
134
00:04:51,566 --> 00:04:54,133
Creed?
Creed is the best Arena
music of all time.
135
00:04:54,166 --> 00:04:56,200
But still,
it's only for some.
136
00:04:56,233 --> 00:04:57,766
I'm not fucking
saying it.
137
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,233
BOTH: Fag.
138
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,233
Not sure that's PC,
but you said it.
139
00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:02,800
Fag got cut in the '80s,
140
00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:03,966
and may have
cleared waivers,
141
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,800
but we all made
a gentlemen's agreement
not to sign it
142
00:05:06,833 --> 00:05:08,800
because of behavior
detrimental to the league.
143
00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:11,133
Call me Dax.
Call me Ron.
144
00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:12,866
Fuck, let's be buddies,
Daxi.
145
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:14,633
Let's be buds, Ronzy.
Really?
146
00:05:14,666 --> 00:05:16,300
Yeah. Fuck, you guys
slam crush butts.
147
00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:19,300
We slam crush box
and the world keeps on
turning, boys.
148
00:05:19,333 --> 00:05:21,233
JONESY: Well, fuck. Come over
here and lay some skin on me,
Daxi.
149
00:05:21,266 --> 00:05:22,933
REILLY: Lay some skin
on me, Ronzy.
150
00:05:22,966 --> 00:05:23,966
REILLY: Fist time.
151
00:05:26,933 --> 00:05:28,766
(CHUCKLES)
Look.
152
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,766
Jonesy and I, usually just
fist each other like...
153
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,666
Just like that.
154
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,200
Yeah, I know it's that.
No, it's different,
it's supposed to...
155
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:35,600
It's like this.
156
00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:37,033
Oh, okay.
157
00:05:37,066 --> 00:05:38,766
I guess we better
go talk to Katy‐Kat, buddy.
158
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,200
Time to break it
to Kitty‐Kat, buddy,
159
00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:41,866
but wait...
160
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:44,533
You seriously don't
wanna bang us,
you fucking liars?
161
00:05:44,566 --> 00:05:45,733
Come crash my crease,
show stopper.
162
00:05:45,766 --> 00:05:48,166
Two minutes for rough
and give me ten.
I'll get rougher.
163
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,700
Fuck the blue line.
Nothin's offside
over here. Try it.
164
00:05:50,733 --> 00:05:53,166
I'll bulge your twine.
Just try and stop me.
You're gonna love it.
165
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,666
Sauce me a stretch pass,
I'll sauce you a stretch ass.
166
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,100
Let's bury
a howitzer, boys.
167
00:05:57,133 --> 00:05:58,700
Send a howi, I'll get
a stick on it.
168
00:05:58,733 --> 00:05:59,766
Let's go hip to hip.
169
00:06:05,033 --> 00:06:08,000
Their names are
Shyla and Shania.
170
00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:09,966
The two newest strays
on the Rez.
171
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,600
They stole Axe
and Slash from me.
172
00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:12,766
And I'm pretty sure
they're banging them,
173
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,633
'cause they're fucking
banging everyone. Skanks!
174
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,033
They're selling
cigarettes to kids.
175
00:06:16,066 --> 00:06:18,233
Yeah, well, kids are shit heads,
like the resilient ones.
176
00:06:18,266 --> 00:06:19,633
They'd have found the darts
one way or another, fuck.
177
00:06:19,666 --> 00:06:22,833
Excuse me, but I earned
the right to sell smokes
in Letterkenny,
178
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:25,166
and I never sold to anyone
under high school age.
179
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,233
I fucking checked IDs.
180
00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:28,200
They called me a skank.
Game on!
181
00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:30,600
I really miss
Axe and Slash.
182
00:06:30,633 --> 00:06:32,133
I'm disappointed in them.
183
00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:33,200
They're like
my buddies, you know.
184
00:06:33,233 --> 00:06:35,200
So I find them
and beat the shit
out of them?
185
00:06:35,233 --> 00:06:37,300
Well, I was starting to wonder
when the next scrap was coming.
186
00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:38,766
Was starting to think
it was never gonna come.
187
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,300
And I'm not so sures
it's beating the shits
out of Axe and Slash
188
00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:43,166
is gonna makes them
come backs to you, Tanis.
189
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,166
No, no, they need
their asses kicked.
190
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,133
Fucking done.
Every woman knows
191
00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:49,066
the way to a man's heart
ain't through his zipper.
192
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,133
Can confirm.
193
00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:51,200
It's through his stomach.
194
00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:52,766
MEN: Can confirm.
195
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,533
And there is
a big cookout
on the Rez today,
196
00:06:55,566 --> 00:06:57,633
and I am the cookout Queen.
197
00:06:57,666 --> 00:06:58,933
Everyone comes my way.
198
00:06:58,966 --> 00:07:01,900
So if Axe and Slash
don't come running,
I'm a fucking chimp.
199
00:07:01,933 --> 00:07:03,100
What are you cooking?
What are you cooking?
200
00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:04,166
Everything.
201
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,666
Bison burgers,
Walleye nuggets,
trout fillets,
202
00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:10,100
Venison steaks, bannock,
fried bread...
203
00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:12,300
and my famous Indian taco.
204
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:14,000
You'll have to roll me
out of there, Tanis.
205
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,833
Yeah, they got forklifts
on the Rez there Tanis?
206
00:07:15,866 --> 00:07:17,300
Then she's bought
and paid for.
207
00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:19,666
We cruise on in there,
eat like kings,
208
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,100
beat the shit out
of those dudes,
209
00:07:21,133 --> 00:07:23,900
snatch up Axe and Slash,
and away we go.
210
00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:25,200
Don't say that word.
What?
211
00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:27,533
Oh.
MEN: Snatch.
212
00:07:27,566 --> 00:07:28,666
You're gonna bring up
all those rich meats,
213
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,666
and now you don't wanna
talk about snatch‐erated fats?
214
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,166
What you never had
a Cabbage Snatch Kid growing up?
215
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,200
What'd you never had
a snatch‐and‐sniff sticker
when you were a kid?
216
00:07:34,233 --> 00:07:35,700
Everyone loves
snatch‐and‐win bingo.
217
00:07:35,733 --> 00:07:36,866
Fuck off.
218
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:39,533
How about that Robin Williams
movie, Snatch Adams?
219
00:07:39,566 --> 00:07:41,100
That tugged at a few
heart‐strings.
220
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:43,033
My favorite part
of the Simpsons was
the Itchy and Snatchy Show.
221
00:07:43,066 --> 00:07:44,766
What, you never see
Snathural Born Killers?
222
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,900
Margaret Snatcher was
the Prime Minister
of Great Britain.
223
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,666
Wonder if she ever met
Benedict Cumbersnatch.
224
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:49,833
He's from over there too, right?
225
00:07:49,866 --> 00:07:51,300
Who wrote that song
Snatch My Bitch Up?
226
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:52,933
Definitely not Snatchbox 20.
227
00:07:52,966 --> 00:07:54,633
Or Snatching Pumpkins.
What's the problem?
228
00:07:54,666 --> 00:07:58,633
Shyla and Shania have a bunch
of guys with them so you
might wanna call in a favor.
229
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,900
(MUSIC ON STEREO)
230
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:06,133
I'll holler one instead. Hey!
231
00:08:07,866 --> 00:08:09,833
Remember when we backed
yous up on the Rez?
232
00:08:09,866 --> 00:08:11,700
Yeah, that time
we didn't have
the Native Flu?
233
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:12,966
Payback time.
234
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,100
Good. Because we
definitely didn't have
the Native Flu.
235
00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:17,300
DARYL: Snatchurally.
Scooby snatch.
What's the problem?
236
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:19,033
To the Rez, pink dicks.
237
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,700
(FINGERS SNAPPING)
238
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,933
The hour is upon us,
Bible thumper.
239
00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:28,100
How'd you know, heathen?
240
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,933
You don't even
wear a watch.
241
00:08:29,966 --> 00:08:31,733
What happened to
he who cast
the first stone?
242
00:08:31,766 --> 00:08:33,566
A broken window likely.
243
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,733
And hopefully no one
seriously injured.
244
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:38,600
Tell me, preacher,
245
00:08:38,633 --> 00:08:42,566
if your God found himself
in a comparable
turf war contingency,
246
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,266
what would
Jesus do?
247
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:49,033
Jesus would advocate
for empathy,
acceptance and grace.
248
00:08:49,066 --> 00:08:52,866
Jesus might advise you
to take a whack
at his way of life.
249
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,200
Very well.
What?
250
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,800
Fuck it.
251
00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:58,566
We will sample his style,
for the day.
252
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,133
Oh.
Under the condition
253
00:09:01,033 --> 00:09:02,966
that you sample ours.
254
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,600
I don't know, Stewart,
I'm hesitant.
255
00:09:05,633 --> 00:09:08,800
What happened to,
"For the Spirit God gave us
does not make us timid"?
256
00:09:08,833 --> 00:09:10,733
Second Timothy 1:7.
257
00:09:10,766 --> 00:09:15,033
Oh, you are
proving yourself
exalted, Roald.
258
00:09:15,066 --> 00:09:16,066
Alors?
259
00:09:18,733 --> 00:09:20,766
D'accord.
Allons‐y.
260
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:21,800
But first,
261
00:09:22,933 --> 00:09:25,266
our wardrobes
crave alteration.
262
00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:36,600
You're just gonna let
this chicken
sit uncovered, or...
263
00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:38,966
Put the grill up to 500.
You wanna turn that down
a bit, or...
264
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,033
DAN: Montreal steak spice
would help that Bison meat.
265
00:09:41,066 --> 00:09:42,866
So you gonna sprinkle
some on there or...
266
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:46,833
Sure you wanna put those
fish and veggies on
at the same time, or...
267
00:09:46,866 --> 00:09:49,066
Yous wanna stop questioning
Auntie Tanis' cooking?
268
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:51,566
Still you're gonna squirt
a little marinate on there,
or...
269
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,933
Don't say that word.
What, marinate?
270
00:09:52,966 --> 00:09:54,900
No.
Oh.
271
00:09:54,933 --> 00:09:56,400
MEN: Squirt.
272
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,900
What the fuck, Tanis,
you love Wu‐Tang Clan.
No love for Old Squirty Bastard.
273
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:00,133
BOTH: Squirt McGirt.
274
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,566
Katy, you love
Odd Future.
275
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,100
You got no love
for Earl Sweatsquirt?
276
00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:04,833
What about Rush drummer
Neil Squirt?
277
00:10:04,866 --> 00:10:06,300
Or Squirton Cummings
of The Guess Whos?
278
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,133
Squirtis Mayfield.
Squirt Cobain.
279
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:10,900
BOTH: Too far.
Rosie loves reading
Squirt Vonnegut literature.
280
00:10:10,933 --> 00:10:13,066
Didn't you ever watch
that show when you were
a kid, Squirt and Ernie?
281
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,200
Katy was watching
Squirty Dancing
just yesterday.
282
00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:18,166
Okay, that's a lie. I was
watching Squirty Dancing.
It's a great movie.
283
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,900
I think it's about time
we revisit the Squirty Harry
film series.
284
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:23,033
Didn't Kathryn Bigelow
direct that movie,
The Squirt Locker?
285
00:10:23,066 --> 00:10:25,833
We squirtnear forgot about
Jamie Lee Squrtis.
Fuck!
286
00:10:25,866 --> 00:10:26,800
Squirtnear.
287
00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:28,266
I don't want the squirt
the issue here boys,
288
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:30,300
but I'm a real sucker
for pencil squirts.
289
00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:31,866
Mini‐squirts, boys.
290
00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:33,666
Fuck, Tanis, you got
a half a dozen squirt steaks
291
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:34,900
on the grill right now.
What's the problem?
292
00:10:39,566 --> 00:10:42,133
Really though, are you
gonna squirt a little
marinade on there, or...
293
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:43,300
Fuck sake.
294
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:46,933
Allow me to begin
my three step tutorial
on preachin'.
295
00:10:46,966 --> 00:10:48,033
So here's how you start.
296
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,833
Step one, guilt blasting'.
297
00:10:51,633 --> 00:10:53,266
Take to the pulpit,
298
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,066
present yourself
to the congregation
299
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:56,700
and you really
just let 'em have it.
300
00:10:56,733 --> 00:10:58,700
Goes something like this.
301
00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:00,333
You're all guilty.
You're all sinners.
302
00:11:00,366 --> 00:11:04,533
You're all guilty of sin.
You're all guilty
of not asking for forgiveness.
303
00:11:04,566 --> 00:11:06,633
Oh, I know, I know,
I know. Here we go.
304
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,533
We skip into doopa‐doopa‐doo,
305
00:11:08,566 --> 00:11:10,866
acting like he isn't even there,
he doesn't even matter.
306
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:12,233
Who cares about Jesus.
307
00:11:12,266 --> 00:11:15,033
'Till somethin' goes wrong.
Till you're served the lemons.
308
00:11:15,066 --> 00:11:17,233
And then suddenly it's,
"Oh, Jesus, help me.
I need you now.
309
00:11:17,266 --> 00:11:19,600
"I can't remember
how to make lemonade.
310
00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:22,033
I need your help, Jesus.
I've been bad and I'm scared
and I'm afraid.
311
00:11:22,066 --> 00:11:23,600
"Where's my Jesus?
Help me Jesus."
312
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:26,200
Kind of mean.
Enticing. Step two?
313
00:11:26,233 --> 00:11:29,066
Step two. Guilt blastin'
through prayer.
314
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:31,133
Five star.
315
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:34,200
So, this one, you wanna dig
a little bit deeper,
316
00:11:34,233 --> 00:11:36,033
maybe crank everything up
to a eleven. Something...
317
00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:37,866
Something a little like this.
See if you can follow.
318
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:39,033
Oh, Lord,
319
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,266
it's us again.
320
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:44,200
Stinky little sinners.
Human sacks of garbage!
321
00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:46,066
Probably already
half way to hell.
322
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,733
You know the drill, Lord.
323
00:11:47,766 --> 00:11:52,533
When everything's going bad,
we come running. When
everything's good, poof!
324
00:11:52,566 --> 00:11:55,133
We act like your grace
is our birthright.
325
00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:57,133
Which it is not!
326
00:11:57,166 --> 00:12:00,100
Oh, I'm sure you're tired.
Lord, you must be exhausted!
327
00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:02,966
You already went ahead
and died for our sins.
328
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,766
Then you went and brought
yourself back from the dead.
329
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,966
I'm tired
just thinking about it.
330
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,266
So you rest for a bit, Lord.
You rest.
331
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,666
And we, we'll just
keep doing
what we do best.
332
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:15,300
Paving our
own roads to hell.
333
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:17,566
You know the drill. Amen!
334
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:18,800
Bewitching.
335
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:19,933
Oh, what's step three?
336
00:12:19,966 --> 00:12:22,233
Step three,
is the collection plate.
337
00:12:22,266 --> 00:12:23,433
Wondrous.
338
00:12:23,466 --> 00:12:27,000
Well, that's uh, pretty much
all sure about preachin'.
339
00:12:27,033 --> 00:12:29,166
So, uh, what are
your three steps?
340
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:33,233
STEWART: Take this.
ROALD: Press play.
341
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,600
BOTH: And dance.
342
00:12:38,933 --> 00:12:41,300
Are you meaning to do
the Bison medium well, or...
343
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:44,300
Sure you want that raw chicken
so close to the veggies, or...
344
00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:45,266
BOTH GIRLS: Shut up!
345
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:47,400
TANIS: hey! Don't talk
to them like that.
346
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,000
Or what?
Or whatever the fuck
I want!
347
00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:51,866
We hear you like
to bark.
348
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,100
But do you even bite?
349
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:57,000
Maybe if you spent less
time on your backs,
yous would know.
350
00:12:57,033 --> 00:12:59,066
Or maybe if you
spent less time
351
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:02,033
selling cigarettes
to kids, you'd know.
352
00:13:02,066 --> 00:13:03,533
TANIS: Uh hmm.
353
00:13:03,566 --> 00:13:05,533
This ain't gonna last.
Yous ain't foolin' anyone.
354
00:13:05,566 --> 00:13:08,066
Yes, it will.
(STAMMERS) Yeah, it will.
355
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:10,333
Start thinking
with your big brain
not your little brain.
356
00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:12,000
They don't need you, Tanis.
357
00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:14,466
Nobody does.
We've got them now.
358
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:17,300
There's a bit of char
on your grill, you gonna
scrape that off, or...
359
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:18,833
You gonna bump
that heat down or...
360
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:22,166
What's that?
Is that a little
trouble in paradise?
361
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,133
You never complained about
Auntie Tanis's cooking.
Just sayin'.
362
00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:27,200
BOTH: Enough!
You tarts can't handle
363
00:13:27,233 --> 00:13:29,833
a barbeque, let alone
handle your scandal.
364
00:13:29,866 --> 00:13:31,500
I can see your
clammy hands
from here.
365
00:13:31,533 --> 00:13:32,966
Do not say that word.
366
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,433
I hate that word.
367
00:13:34,466 --> 00:13:36,066
Which one?
DAN: Oh...
368
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:37,700
ALL: Clammy!
369
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:40,333
Let's just pump the brakes
and quick fuckin' sec here
your friends in clamellia.
370
00:13:40,366 --> 00:13:42,200
Let's get to
the clam‐meat
and potatoes of it.
371
00:13:42,233 --> 00:13:43,900
What'd, you never listen
to Clammy Davis Junior?
What's up?
372
00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:47,533
Clammy Hagar's the superior
Val Halen vocalist. I don't
care what anyone else says.
373
00:13:47,566 --> 00:13:49,933
Clammy Sosa use to hit
them big dingers.
374
00:13:49,966 --> 00:13:51,933
What, you never listen
to Clammy Wynette?
What's the problem?
375
00:13:51,966 --> 00:13:53,333
Shut up!
Nuff talkin'.
376
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,533
Nuff chin waggin'.
377
00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:58,066
Which one of yous
called my sister
a skank?
378
00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:04,066
Oh, there's not much
I can do about
this one, kiddo.
379
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:06,400
It's all right, boo.
I got her.
380
00:14:06,433 --> 00:14:07,733
Fuck sake.
When's the next
scrap comin'?
381
00:14:07,766 --> 00:14:10,033
Starting to think
it's never gonna
fuckin' come, fuck.
382
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,000
AXE: You gonna give
those nuggets
a flip soon, or...
383
00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:13,433
Want me to do it, or...
384
00:14:13,466 --> 00:14:15,366
BOTH: For fuck sakes.
385
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,566
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
386
00:15:16,866 --> 00:15:18,866
Hi, Katy.
Hi, Katy‐Kat.
387
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:20,966
Pete and repeat. Ola.
388
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,066
So, uh, we were just,
we were just wondering...
389
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:26,066
Like we're partners.
Kind of.
390
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:28,900
Um, and we work
well really together
391
00:15:28,933 --> 00:15:30,266
So like, we were
wondering if...
392
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:32,300
If I would date both
of you again.
393
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:33,700
REILLY: Actually, yes.
Yeah.
394
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:38,266
The truth is, guys,
I don't really want
to date either of you.
395
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:40,533
It's just not really
the right time.
396
00:15:40,566 --> 00:15:41,900
BOTH BOYS: Oh.
397
00:15:41,933 --> 00:15:44,466
And now it's just
you guys, so,
398
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:45,966
think of all the snipes.
399
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,266
BOTH BOYS: Hmm.
Big city slams.
400
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:50,000
BOTH: Oooh.
401
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,900
Wheel, snipe, celly boys.
402
00:15:51,933 --> 00:15:54,066
BOTH: Dirty fuckin' dangles,
boys!
403
00:15:56,366 --> 00:15:57,566
So...
404
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,866
you still prefer pussy
over a meal made
by Auntie Tanis?
405
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:02,900
BOTH: They don't
need you, anymore.
406
00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:04,466
You know what I heard.
407
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:07,900
You guys aren't the only ones
in there. Better watch out
for that yeast.
408
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:09,833
Do not say that word.
409
00:16:09,866 --> 00:16:10,933
Which one, pussy?
No.
410
00:16:10,966 --> 00:16:12,833
Oh...
411
00:16:13,366 --> 00:16:15,266
ALL: Yeast!
412
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:17,333
What'd you never watch
Beauty and the Yeast
growing up?
413
00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:18,900
You outta your fuckin mind.
414
00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:20,833
What, you never stayed up
for the Yeaster Bunny?
415
00:16:20,866 --> 00:16:22,866
Yeastern Promises,
it's a great movie.
416
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:24,933
Yeastbound and Down
is a great shows.
417
00:16:24,966 --> 00:16:27,233
You look more suited
to the Witches of Yeastwick.
418
00:16:27,266 --> 00:16:29,600
Or the Yeast Enders.
Done it.
419
00:16:29,633 --> 00:16:32,066
Look, all we are saying
420
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,500
is Give Yeast a Chance.
421
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:37,233
Have you ever listened to
the Yeasty Boys?
422
00:16:37,266 --> 00:16:39,400
Ain't you ever been
to Yeast Side Marios?
423
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:41,900
This isn't Yeast or Famine.
424
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:43,833
And last but not yeast...
425
00:16:43,866 --> 00:16:44,900
Fuck off.
426
00:16:44,933 --> 00:16:46,166
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
427
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,900
I'm fatigued. Feeble.
Flimsy.
428
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:58,333
Same. Drained.
Dilapidated. Doddering.
429
00:16:58,366 --> 00:17:00,200
I feel strangely fine.
430
00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:02,066
Bombers?
Out of bombers.
431
00:17:03,033 --> 00:17:04,100
Rips?
432
00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:05,366
Oh, I think, Glen
has the rips.
433
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,600
Glen.
Yes?
434
00:17:09,633 --> 00:17:11,133
Did any of those rips
survive?
435
00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:13,300
Oh, sure. All of them.
I didn't touch it.
436
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,200
What?
437
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:19,066
But how did you...
The power of Christ
compels me, Stewart.
438
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,866
You're foolin' us.
No.
439
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:22,000
I tricked you.
440
00:17:22,033 --> 00:17:23,966
And trickery's
not a sin.
441
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,500
Also, I got you to give
God a try for a day.
442
00:17:26,533 --> 00:17:29,166
Didn't kill you, did it?
No.
443
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,233
As it turns out,
God is actually
444
00:17:32,533 --> 00:17:34,300
pretty metal.
Well, of course he's metal.
445
00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:36,033
Ain't you never heard
of P. O. D.?
446
00:17:36,066 --> 00:17:38,100
We concede, Glen.
Oh.
447
00:17:38,133 --> 00:17:40,266
You have
electrified us
here today.
448
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:42,400
Oh.
We agree to cut
the pie.
449
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,466
Divvy it up?
Yes.
450
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,433
We can share
the Dollar Store
parking lot.
451
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:49,133
Hurray!
452
00:17:49,166 --> 00:17:51,033
But you're gonna be
on your way now.
453
00:17:51,066 --> 00:17:55,033
GLEN: Woo!
454
00:17:55,066 --> 00:17:57,366
I'm... I'm done
with this Indian Taco.
455
00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,866
I'd invite yous over
but you're too busy
fuckin' up, so...
456
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:02,533
BOTH: They don't need
you anymore.
457
00:18:02,566 --> 00:18:03,566
Chicken's dry.
458
00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:06,133
What?
Nothing.
459
00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:08,166
No. What did you say?
460
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,333
Chicken's dry.
I can hardly
swallow it.
461
00:18:10,366 --> 00:18:11,900
You want it
to be a bit moist.
462
00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:14,066
Argh. Don't say that word.
463
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,900
What word?
Oh.
464
00:18:16,566 --> 00:18:17,700
ALL: Moist.
465
00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:19,933
What? You've never watched
Mickey and Minnie Moist
466
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,600
growing up? You outta
your fuckin' mind?
467
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:23,233
Ronald Moist Donald.
468
00:18:23,266 --> 00:18:25,333
Seein' my buddy Ben
on Moisture Chefs Canadas?
469
00:18:25,366 --> 00:18:27,566
No. But I'm all caught up
on How to Moist a Murder.
470
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,866
Fuck those Avery's really
put their foots in it now, eh?
471
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,900
My favorite show
is America's Moist Wanted.
472
00:18:31,933 --> 00:18:34,600
You gotta respect
athleticisms,
Connor Moist‐Gregor,
473
00:18:34,633 --> 00:18:36,600
Conner Moist‐David,
Floyd Moist‐Weather.
474
00:18:36,633 --> 00:18:38,366
Boy, they're all
at the top of their classes.
475
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,833
They're all driving
Moist‐eradis, that's
all I know.
476
00:18:40,866 --> 00:18:44,033
May even a Rolls Moist.
Or maybe a Moist‐cedes Benz.
477
00:18:44,066 --> 00:18:46,600
No Moist‐subishis
eclipses in this bunch.
478
00:18:46,633 --> 00:18:48,866
They're not using
Capital One Moister‐Cards.
479
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:50,466
Nope. They got
Amex Black likely.
480
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:53,433
Moist money,
moist problems.
You're bum scum, bud.
481
00:19:02,066 --> 00:19:03,233
Sled Ted?
482
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:06,233
Rat Ass?
483
00:19:07,966 --> 00:19:09,466
Jivin' fuckin' Pete.
484
00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:13,833
They've assembled
the Degen All‐Stars.
485
00:19:13,866 --> 00:19:16,066
Their organization
is baffling.
486
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,400
The fuck's your name
anyway, bud?
487
00:19:17,433 --> 00:19:21,466
Alistair Orson Westwood Yates.
Baffling.
488
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:23,400
My name is...
Shut the fuck up.
489
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,566
Let's see you back
it up now, bitch.
490
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:30,000
Tanis!
491
00:19:30,033 --> 00:19:31,533
We're gonna get
our asses kicked.
492
00:19:31,566 --> 00:19:33,966
KATY: Not our pig,
not our farm, boys.
493
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,200
Yous don't need me
anymore, remember?
494
00:19:36,233 --> 00:19:39,433
I, uh, have kind of been
wondering when the next
scrap is coming. Oh, fuck.
495
00:19:40,433 --> 00:19:41,433
Wait for it.
496
00:19:48,433 --> 00:19:51,200
We're so sorry, Auntie.
We wanna come back.
497
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,466
We miss you, Tanis.
You took care of us.
498
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:56,200
We promise, we'll never get
blinded by the pussy again.
499
00:19:56,233 --> 00:19:58,600
We'll swear off
the pussy
for two weeks.
500
00:19:58,633 --> 00:20:00,566
See what happened here
today, ladies.
501
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,800
The way to a man's heart
ain' through his zipper.
502
00:20:05,566 --> 00:20:07,066
Tanis.
Hmm?
503
00:20:08,633 --> 00:20:09,900
Let's have a scrap.
504
00:20:09,933 --> 00:20:12,233
About fuckin' time.
I started to think
it was never gonna come.
505
00:20:12,266 --> 00:20:15,233
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
506
00:21:55,533 --> 00:21:57,733
Hmm, this is ever good
there, Auntie.
507
00:21:57,766 --> 00:21:59,066
I know.
508
00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:00,500
Thanks, Tanis.
509
00:22:00,533 --> 00:22:04,200
Auntie Tanis
always takes care
of her cubs, way‐hey!
510
00:22:04,233 --> 00:22:06,200
I was a bit worried
when we were cooking
the raw chicken
511
00:22:06,233 --> 00:22:08,466
so close to the veg, but...
WAYNE: Axe!
512
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,200
I fuckin' hate that word.
513
00:22:12,233 --> 00:22:13,700
DARYL: What word?
Oh.
514
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,266
BOTH GIRLS: Veg.
Let me talk you of
the vedge, big brother.
515
00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:18,266
I guess we're not gonna
vedge allegiance to
the flag then, eh?
516
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:20,500
Have a dart?
Have a Benson and Vedges.
517
00:22:20,533 --> 00:22:23,066
Oh, you don't like
Peter Gabriel? That
fucker wrote Vedge‐Hammer.
518
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:24,800
Stevie Nicks.
Vedge of Seventeen.
519
00:22:24,833 --> 00:22:26,366
Stevie Nicks
is a fuckin' vegendary.
520
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:27,666
Aerosmith,
Living on the Vedge.
521
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:29,700
Heath Vedger.
JONESY: Vegendary.
522
00:22:29,733 --> 00:22:33,033
You didn't like Edie Vedge‐Wick?
That fucker married Kevin Bacon.
523
00:22:33,066 --> 00:22:34,466
No, no, no, no, no.
That was Keira Vedgewick.
524
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,366
Edie Vedge‐Wick
was Warhol's girl.
525
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,500
Well, I happen to know
for a fact that Dan has
526
00:22:38,533 --> 00:22:41,233
a full vedge boner
for any Vedge‐wick.
527
00:22:41,266 --> 00:22:42,733
Avegedly.
Vegitimately.
528
00:22:42,766 --> 00:22:46,266
Vedge of Tomorrow
starring Tom Cruise
and Emily Blunt.
529
00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:47,866
Amazing movie.
TANIS: Uh‐huh.
530
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:50,066
Well, I don't think you're
going to get a word
in here, vegde‐wish good buddy.
531
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,600
Prepare the Vegiment.
532
00:22:53,633 --> 00:22:55,666
Take them veg or alive.
533
00:22:57,166 --> 00:22:58,266
Vegiment!
534
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,700
Fire!
535
00:23:00,733 --> 00:23:02,733
(ALL SCREAMING)
536
00:23:04,233 --> 00:23:06,133
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)