1
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,184
You had to use
the facilities the other day.

2
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,522
Oh, fucking Alexander.

3
00:00:20,555 --> 00:00:22,356
Mmm‐hmm. This is
where the dicks hang out.

4
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:23,792
Oh, that's right.
Gail had told me

5
00:00:23,825 --> 00:00:25,527
you're helping with
clean up here now, eh?

6
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,729
(CHUCKLES) Shake more than once
and we know what you're doing.

7
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:29,063
How long you been at it?

8
00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:30,699
48 fiscal hours.

9
00:00:30,732 --> 00:00:33,702
More than enough time to see
a nightmare or two in here, eh.

10
00:00:33,735 --> 00:00:35,336
Sometimes there's shit,

11
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,105
on the outside
of the torlet.

12
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:41,242
‐Huh?
‐Sometimes there's shit,

13
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,677
on the outside
of the torlet.

14
00:00:42,711 --> 00:00:44,513
Huh. Is that right?

15
00:00:44,546 --> 00:00:46,615
If you think that's bad,
you should see the uriness.

16
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,718
‐Huh?
‐If you think that's bad,

17
00:00:49,751 --> 00:00:51,152
you should see the uriness.

18
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,486
They get pretty
hairy over there?

19
00:00:52,521 --> 00:00:53,822
Sometimes there's shit,

20
00:00:53,855 --> 00:00:55,489
on the outside
of the uriness.

21
00:00:55,524 --> 00:00:57,626
‐What?
‐Sometimes there's shit,

22
00:00:57,659 --> 00:00:59,460
on the outside
of the uriness.

23
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,129
Fuck a duck.

24
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,330
Well, how do you think
it got there?

25
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,398
Remember how I said,
sometimes there's shit

26
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,800
on the outside
of the torlet?

27
00:01:05,834 --> 00:01:07,636
‐Yeah.
‐Well, I'll bet the shit

28
00:01:07,669 --> 00:01:09,303
got on the outside
of the uriness,

29
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,172
the same way the shit
got on the outside

30
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,807
‐of the torlet.
‐Didn't that sound...

31
00:01:13,875 --> 00:01:15,644
This piss
is now streaming.

32
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:19,313
‐Wayne?
‐No.

33
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,449
How are you now?
Not so bad.
Good, and you?

34
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:24,553
‐Alexander.
‐Out there, you're Canadian.

35
00:01:24,586 --> 00:01:26,855
In here... European.

36
00:01:26,888 --> 00:01:28,723
Oh, shit.

37
00:01:28,757 --> 00:01:30,692
Looks like someone
unswallowed over there.

38
00:01:30,725 --> 00:01:31,860
Hmm. If you think
that's bad,

39
00:01:31,893 --> 00:01:35,229
sometimes there's shit,
on the outside of the torlet.

40
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,397
‐Huh?
‐If you think that's bad,

41
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:39,267
sometimes there's shit,
on the outside of the torlet.

42
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,602
I spray the seat
from time to time

43
00:01:40,635 --> 00:01:42,236
when I've got
crap on tap,

44
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,872
but I never miss
the bowl entirely.

45
00:01:43,905 --> 00:01:45,807
Fuckin degens
need to mind their scruples.

46
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,676
If you think that's bad,
you should see the uriness.

47
00:01:47,709 --> 00:01:49,110
‐Huh?
‐You think that's bad,

48
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,311
you should see the uriness.

49
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,746
Hmm. Pretty hairy over there?

50
00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:54,182
Sometimes there's shit,
on the outside of the uriness.

51
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:55,750
‐What?
‐Sometimes there's shit,

52
00:01:55,784 --> 00:01:57,485
on the outside
of the uriness.

53
00:01:57,519 --> 00:01:58,753
How the fuck
did shit get there?

54
00:01:58,787 --> 00:02:00,689
Remember when I said,
sometimes there's shit

55
00:02:00,722 --> 00:02:02,290
on the outside of the torlet?

56
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,192
Feels like you told me that
nearly a year ago now.

57
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,727
Though we're kind of burning
daylight here, eh?

58
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,195
‐Mmm‐hmm.
‐I bet the shit

59
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,730
got on the outside
of the uriness,

60
00:02:08,763 --> 00:02:10,464
the same way the shit
got on the outside

61
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:13,201
‐of the torlet.
‐Uh‐oh.

62
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,402
No offense or nothing,
but I think

63
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,270
I rather just
piss outside, Alexander.

64
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:18,372
I just came in
to wash my hands.

65
00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,440
Why are you washing
your hands?

66
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,909
‐Had a dart.
‐Hm.

67
00:02:20,942 --> 00:02:22,376
Well, I'd have
a dart.

68
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:23,778
Maybe I'd have
a dart with you

69
00:02:23,812 --> 00:02:25,580
and then wash my hands
after that dart.

70
00:02:25,614 --> 00:02:26,615
Hey gents.

71
00:02:27,816 --> 00:02:29,417
I know how the shit
got on the outside

72
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,620
of the torlet
and also the uriness,

73
00:02:31,653 --> 00:02:33,755
but why would someone

74
00:02:33,788 --> 00:02:35,924
take a shit on the outside
of the torlet

75
00:02:35,957 --> 00:02:37,325
and also the uriness?

76
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,297
'Cause that's where
the dicks hang out.

77
00:02:43,965 --> 00:02:46,167
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

78
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:55,677
‐Wayne.
‐Katy.

79
00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,646
What are you
up to today?

80
00:02:57,679 --> 00:02:59,213
‐What abouts?
‐This aft.

81
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,381
What, like this
afternoon‐ish?

82
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:01,449
This afternoon‐ish, yeah.

83
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,951
Well, I'd have
to check my agenda.

84
00:03:02,984 --> 00:03:04,619
‐You check your log?
‐Check your records?

85
00:03:04,653 --> 00:03:05,920
Well, I checked
your day planner

86
00:03:05,954 --> 00:03:08,456
and your logged line
underlined it in bold

87
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,224
and highlighted
in italics.

88
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,292
Oh?

89
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,661
Anything, uh,
ringing a bell?

90
00:03:12,694 --> 00:03:14,228
‐Striking a cord?
‐Drumming on up?

91
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,764
Oh, that's right.

92
00:03:15,797 --> 00:03:18,199
ALL: Yard sale Saturday!

93
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:19,668
Super fucking shooters.

94
00:03:19,701 --> 00:03:20,735
You boys
ready to dicker?

95
00:03:20,769 --> 00:03:21,836
Well, you always
gotta dicker.

96
00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:23,605
Heard McMurray's got
a real good spread this year.

97
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,406
‐How big a spread?
‐Like good size spread.

98
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,808
What, like
two‐three table spread?

99
00:03:26,841 --> 00:03:27,876
No, like three‐five
table spread.

100
00:03:27,909 --> 00:03:29,243
A three to five tabler!

101
00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:30,779
Gail's tabling
all of her old glassware

102
00:03:30,812 --> 00:03:31,913
so I'll get a set or two.

103
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:32,981
Well, Katy, you better
make sure you got

104
00:03:33,014 --> 00:03:34,348
fucking room for another set.

105
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:35,917
There's plenty of room
for another set.

106
00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:37,786
Katy, there's such a thing
as too much sets,

107
00:03:37,819 --> 00:03:39,287
a gal oughta be
fucking aware of it.

108
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,555
Dan, you still gonna be
after old books?

109
00:03:40,589 --> 00:03:42,924
Well, same as you is gonna be
on the hunt for old pornos Dary.

110
00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:45,760
Yeah, I bet the McMurray's got
a good spread on their spread.

111
00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:46,995
And there'll be lots of
old tins

112
00:03:47,028 --> 00:03:48,663
and signage for you,
big brother.

113
00:03:48,697 --> 00:03:50,498
Good buddy, how that
get to be your niche?

114
00:03:50,532 --> 00:03:51,700
Old signs and tins?

115
00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:53,334
Well, it's the history
of it I like.

116
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,569
It's the history, you see.

117
00:03:54,603 --> 00:03:56,370
Where it started,
why it started,

118
00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:57,506
where it's been.

119
00:03:57,539 --> 00:03:59,440
Professor Tricia says,
lots of those old corporations

120
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,442
were run by racists and that
they should just be left

121
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,277
in the waste paper basket
where they belong.

122
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:04,646
Well, I should tell
Professor Tricia

123
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:06,314
if you don't understand
where you came from,

124
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,749
you never understand
where you are.

125
00:04:07,782 --> 00:04:09,483
‐Bak‐set.
‐Attaboy.

126
00:04:09,518 --> 00:04:10,919
Well, make sure
she dickers.

127
00:04:10,952 --> 00:04:12,020
Well, you always
gotta dicker.

128
00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:14,255
Wayne, why don't you tell us
the Canadian Pickers'

129
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:15,323
guide to dickering?

130
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,891
You mean
the greatest Canadian

131
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,693
feelgood show
of all time,

132
00:04:18,727 --> 00:04:20,562
‐Canadian Pickers?
‐Yep.

133
00:04:20,595 --> 00:04:22,296
‐Step one.
‐Identify item

134
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,598
and recite
some history on it

135
00:04:23,632 --> 00:04:25,834
to establish genuine interest
in the said item.

136
00:04:25,867 --> 00:04:28,537
‐Step two.
‐Ask the seller,

137
00:04:28,570 --> 00:04:30,639
what are you gonna need
to have out of that?

138
00:04:30,672 --> 00:04:32,006
‐Step three.
‐No matter what price

139
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,975
the seller gives you,
tell the seller,

140
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,944
"Well, that sounds like
retail to me."

141
00:04:35,977 --> 00:04:37,011
KATY: Step four.

142
00:04:37,045 --> 00:04:38,613
Circle back on step two

143
00:04:38,647 --> 00:04:40,281
and ask the seller,

144
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,951
"What's the absolute best
you can do on it?"

145
00:04:42,984 --> 00:04:44,018
And step five?

146
00:04:44,052 --> 00:04:45,787
If the seller holds firm,

147
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:46,788
bundle item of interest in

148
00:04:46,821 --> 00:04:48,890
with a few other items
to get the price down

149
00:04:48,923 --> 00:04:50,725
to one you're
comfortable paying.

150
00:04:50,759 --> 00:04:52,493
‐Bob's your uncle.
‐Masterful.

151
00:04:52,527 --> 00:04:53,795
That's how
you fucking dicker.

152
00:04:53,828 --> 00:04:54,929
Well, you always
gotta dicker.

153
00:04:56,798 --> 00:04:58,399
Are one of youse
wearing perfume?

154
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:00,301
Men aren't supposed
to wear perfume, Katy.

155
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:01,703
She might means cologne,
good buddies.

156
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,972
Could be eau de toilette
'cause that's unisex.

157
00:05:04,005 --> 00:05:05,774
Oh, what fucking isn't
these days?

158
00:05:05,807 --> 00:05:07,909
Sounds like someone's
going on a date.

159
00:05:07,942 --> 00:05:09,477
Well, it's not a date.
It's a...

160
00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:11,946
go along.

161
00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,314
Sounds like
a date to me.

162
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,549
No, it's not a date.
It's a...

163
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,318
walkabout.

164
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,687
Rosie came calling.

165
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:19,821
Is it racist to say that

166
00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:21,923
I think Rosie looks a whole
lot like Princess Jasmine?

167
00:05:21,956 --> 00:05:23,457
No, we're just gonna
take the dogs

168
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:24,626
for a run there, so.

169
00:05:24,659 --> 00:05:25,760
Hmm. Doggy date.

170
00:05:25,794 --> 00:05:27,996
Sounds like a pretty choice
afternoon, big brother.

171
00:05:28,029 --> 00:05:29,363
Some say the choicest.

172
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:30,732
Well, I'm gonna
bring Dierks.

173
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,433
So, see if Rosie
wants to come too.

174
00:05:33,935 --> 00:05:35,937
(GRUMBLING)

175
00:05:40,542 --> 00:05:42,611
Couple of five‐elevens,
if I've ever seen 'em.

176
00:05:42,644 --> 00:05:44,445
‐Huh?
‐You're fucking average.

177
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,715
Do you think
Bush did 5/11?

178
00:05:46,748 --> 00:05:48,449
Update.

179
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,619
Uh, we couldn't exactly...

180
00:05:50,652 --> 00:05:51,920
get the club
off the ground.

181
00:05:51,953 --> 00:05:53,454
You're kidding.

182
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,556
Told ya. Pay up.

183
00:05:56,157 --> 00:05:58,426
That's strike one.
Moving on.

184
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,128
BROdude has suggested
we lend you

185
00:06:00,161 --> 00:06:01,663
resources for
a photoshoot.

186
00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:03,598
See if we can't get you
looking a little less

187
00:06:03,632 --> 00:06:04,733
herrrr.

188
00:06:04,766 --> 00:06:06,635
‐Sick!
‐I shot down that suggestion.

189
00:06:06,668 --> 00:06:08,069
‐Gutty.
‐And suggested

190
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:10,404
that any resources
lent to Derek Zoolander

191
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,541
and Hansel would be
misused resources.

192
00:06:12,574 --> 00:06:14,142
So, you're going
to do it yourselves.

193
00:06:14,175 --> 00:06:15,544
Be models?

194
00:06:16,678 --> 00:06:17,879
A photoshoot.

195
00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:19,413
‐Huh.
‐Find a photographer

196
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:20,481
and have them
shoot you the way

197
00:06:20,515 --> 00:06:21,683
you would like
to be portrayed

198
00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:23,051
as BROdude
brand ambassadors.

199
00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:24,686
Get a girl or two
like this on board

200
00:06:24,719 --> 00:06:26,688
to check
the representation box,

201
00:06:26,721 --> 00:06:28,723
strip 'em down
like this,

202
00:06:28,757 --> 00:06:30,825
and send to me
when complete. Kapiche?

203
00:06:30,859 --> 00:06:32,794
Isn't it kinda not PC

204
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:35,496
to include a girl
but then sexualize them?

205
00:06:35,530 --> 00:06:36,831
Pull out
your fucking tampon.

206
00:06:36,865 --> 00:06:38,800
Could we...
could we use those girls?

207
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,769
Remember what
I just said

208
00:06:40,802 --> 00:06:42,136
about misused resources?

209
00:06:44,606 --> 00:06:46,140
‐Yes.
‐And neither one of these girls

210
00:06:46,174 --> 00:06:48,577
would cross the street to piss
on you if you were on fire.

211
00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:49,611
Would you?

212
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:55,483
You've let me down today.

213
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,787
I'm gonna have to take
a number on both of you.

214
00:07:00,221 --> 00:07:01,823
What's the opposite of "he?"

215
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,592
BOTH: Herrr?

216
00:07:03,625 --> 00:07:06,427
You're fucking right
it is. 24 hours.

217
00:07:08,563 --> 00:07:09,731
Okay, bro.

218
00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:11,432
We're gonna need
a mega babe.

219
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,466
Hmm.

220
00:07:13,935 --> 00:07:15,036
Daryl's ex‐sweetie!

221
00:07:15,069 --> 00:07:17,471
(BOTH CHEERING)

222
00:07:17,506 --> 00:07:19,440
Is it racist to say that
I think that

223
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,810
Daryl's ex‐sweetie
looks like Princess Jasmine?

224
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:26,080
ALY: Stewart.

225
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:27,982
‐Aly.
‐Stewart.

226
00:07:28,983 --> 00:07:30,018
Bianca‐donk.

227
00:07:30,051 --> 00:07:31,586
‐Stewart.
‐Roald.

228
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:32,887
Know that quote
from Spider‐Man,

229
00:07:32,921 --> 00:07:34,989
with great risk
comes great reward?

230
00:07:35,023 --> 00:07:36,891
Actually, it's with
great power comes...

231
00:07:36,925 --> 00:07:37,959
She's paraphrasing.

232
00:07:37,992 --> 00:07:39,661
We're back
in business, baby.

233
00:07:39,694 --> 00:07:41,095
‐C‐Nicholadas.
‐G‐Nicoladas.

234
00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:43,164
Actually, it's GHB‐Nicoladas.

235
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,633
She's abbreviating.

236
00:07:44,666 --> 00:07:46,601
We're going back
to the city, but

237
00:07:46,635 --> 00:07:47,669
before we do,

238
00:07:47,702 --> 00:07:49,103
Let's talk about
the great reward

239
00:07:49,137 --> 00:07:51,039
that follows
your great risk.

240
00:07:53,074 --> 00:07:54,709
ROALD: And that quote
is actually

241
00:07:54,743 --> 00:07:56,978
by Uncle Ben as well,
not Spider‐Man.

242
00:07:57,011 --> 00:07:59,047
She's ballparking, Roald!

243
00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:04,686
For clarification,
we're talking about...

244
00:08:04,719 --> 00:08:05,887
Some of that good fucking.

245
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,756
‐Mmm. Mm‐hmm.
‐Mmm. Mm‐hmm.

246
00:08:11,826 --> 00:08:13,762
Wonderous.

247
00:08:17,198 --> 00:08:18,199
Keys.

248
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,135
‐You seen Rosie yet?
‐No.

249
00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:22,604
We've got two hours
to run the dogs

250
00:08:22,637 --> 00:08:24,706
before I'm back with Dierks.
So, pitter‐patter.

251
00:08:24,739 --> 00:08:25,740
Okay.

252
00:08:26,808 --> 00:08:28,643
Must've been
kind of weird.

253
00:08:28,677 --> 00:08:30,779
First impression meeting
Dierks at the rippers, eh?

254
00:08:30,812 --> 00:08:32,914
Well, a first impression's
a lasting one.

255
00:08:34,082 --> 00:08:35,116
Proceeding with caution.

256
00:08:35,149 --> 00:08:36,918
You're a big girl.

257
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:39,120
Buck and a half, we're
tabling yard sales, 10‐4?

258
00:08:39,153 --> 00:08:40,254
ALL: Over and out.

259
00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:47,195
‐Wayned.
‐Dan.

260
00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:48,963
Must be kind of weird
first impression

261
00:08:48,997 --> 00:08:50,999
meeting Katy's new sweetie
at the rippers there, eh?

262
00:08:51,032 --> 00:08:52,934
A first impression's
a lasting one.

263
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,669
Well, she said
she'll proceed with caution.

264
00:08:54,703 --> 00:08:55,870
Well, she's a big girl.

265
00:08:55,904 --> 00:08:57,305
You don't much care
for him, does youse?

266
00:08:57,338 --> 00:08:59,574
No, you shouldn't air
your dirty laundry.

267
00:08:59,608 --> 00:09:01,075
‐Good guy?
‐Who, Dierks?

268
00:09:01,109 --> 00:09:02,143
He's a pretty good guy.

269
00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:04,012
Oh, he's a great
guy then. Dierks.

270
00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,146
‐Why do you say it like that?
‐Huh?

271
00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:07,215
‐His name.
‐Who, Dierks?

272
00:09:07,248 --> 00:09:08,082
‐Yeah.
‐Well, I make him say

273
00:09:08,116 --> 00:09:10,284
‐Dierks anyway.
‐Oh, sures he does.

274
00:09:11,185 --> 00:09:12,186
Say my name.

275
00:09:13,655 --> 00:09:14,823
‐Dary.
‐Now his.

276
00:09:16,658 --> 00:09:17,491
Dan.

277
00:09:17,526 --> 00:09:19,794
And what's Katie's
new sweetie's name?

278
00:09:19,828 --> 00:09:21,863
‐(LOUDLY) Dierks.
‐Yeah. Now I hear it.

279
00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,131
You says it
a certain way.

280
00:09:23,164 --> 00:09:24,633
You hammered really hard
on the "D."

281
00:09:24,666 --> 00:09:25,667
(LOUDLY) Did I?

282
00:09:26,701 --> 00:09:28,302
(GULPING)

283
00:09:30,038 --> 00:09:31,239
REILLY: You know how
Daryl's ex‐sweetie

284
00:09:31,272 --> 00:09:33,241
has a super
racy Instagram?

285
00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:34,843
JONESY: I can't stop
loving you!

286
00:09:34,876 --> 00:09:36,911
Well, I slid into
her DMs and I was like,

287
00:09:36,945 --> 00:09:38,913
"Hey, know how you're
an Instagram model?

288
00:09:38,947 --> 00:09:40,649
"Well, how would
you like to be a..."

289
00:09:40,682 --> 00:09:42,050
I don't even know
what the fuck they're called.

290
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:43,251
‐A real model?
‐See, that's what

291
00:09:43,284 --> 00:09:45,219
I ended up going with,
like a real model,

292
00:09:45,253 --> 00:09:47,689
‐how would you like to be...
‐A real model, like,

293
00:09:47,722 --> 00:09:49,858
someone who is actually
a real model.

294
00:09:49,891 --> 00:09:51,125
Yeah, like, an actual,
real model.

295
00:09:51,159 --> 00:09:53,194
So, I said, "How would you like
to be an actual, real model?

296
00:09:53,227 --> 00:09:54,629
‐Mmm‐hmm.
‐"for BROdude energy?"

297
00:09:54,663 --> 00:09:55,864
And what did she say?

298
00:09:55,897 --> 00:09:56,965
Something in French.

299
00:09:56,998 --> 00:09:58,633
Well, the only French
I know is like... <i>zut!</i>

300
00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:00,101
Yeah, me too.
Like, zut alors!

301
00:10:00,134 --> 00:10:01,202
‐And what did you say?
‐Well,

302
00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:02,604
I gave her
my email address

303
00:10:02,637 --> 00:10:04,372
because my email has
a translation option.

304
00:10:04,405 --> 00:10:06,775
‐Did she email you back then?
‐She emailed me back, bro.

305
00:10:06,808 --> 00:10:07,776
What did it
translate to, buddy?

306
00:10:07,809 --> 00:10:10,211
This message required
no translation, buddy.

307
00:10:11,012 --> 00:10:12,013
Whoa.

308
00:10:12,781 --> 00:10:14,282
Zut.

309
00:10:14,315 --> 00:10:15,850
Zut alors.

310
00:10:15,884 --> 00:10:18,753
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

311
00:10:18,787 --> 00:10:19,788
(BOTH WHOOP)

312
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:23,124
Honey, you sure?

313
00:10:23,157 --> 00:10:24,959
Well, look at this tall
drink of Canadian Lager

314
00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:26,160
lumbering over.

315
00:10:26,194 --> 00:10:28,129
Lumber Lager is
a choice name for a beer.

316
00:10:28,162 --> 00:10:29,798
Oh well, Katy got
a wee bit held up

317
00:10:29,831 --> 00:10:31,933
at the border there, so thought
we'd just shlep'er over.

318
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,301
‐Shlep'er?
‐Hardly knew her.

319
00:10:33,334 --> 00:10:34,869
Well, if no one's driving
how'd youse like

320
00:10:34,903 --> 00:10:36,137
to get into one
of these cocksuckers?

321
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:37,639
No time like the present
Ms. Mac.

322
00:10:37,672 --> 00:10:38,940
‐Mmm.
‐Oh, Wayne,

323
00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:41,242
mind if I...

324
00:10:41,275 --> 00:10:43,077
take your date
deep inside?

325
00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:46,881
Go inside the house
with your date.

326
00:10:46,915 --> 00:10:48,650
‐Oh, we're not on a...
‐We're not on a...

327
00:10:50,418 --> 00:10:51,720
Okay.

328
00:10:53,955 --> 00:10:55,123
See, remember
I was telling you

329
00:10:55,156 --> 00:10:56,658
McMurray's got
a three to five tabler?

330
00:10:56,691 --> 00:10:58,292
Hells of a spreads
you gots here, McMurrays.

331
00:10:58,326 --> 00:10:59,661
It's a two knuckler table'n.

332
00:10:59,694 --> 00:11:01,696
‐Oh, it's a good spread.
‐As advertised.

333
00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:02,831
Well, it's a great spread.

334
00:11:02,864 --> 00:11:03,932
What were you expecting?

335
00:11:03,965 --> 00:11:05,900
‐Honestly,
‐Shall we be honest?

336
00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:07,769
I thought I was coming
over here to see

337
00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:08,970
two‐three banquet tables

338
00:11:09,003 --> 00:11:10,171
with a card table
on each end.

339
00:11:10,204 --> 00:11:11,339
Oh, no sir.

340
00:11:11,372 --> 00:11:13,775
But now I come over here
and I see five banquet tables

341
00:11:13,808 --> 00:11:15,076
with a card table
on each end.

342
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,945
Once you become
predictable, Wayne,

343
00:11:16,978 --> 00:11:17,879
you become beatable.

344
00:11:17,912 --> 00:11:19,347
What are you tabling
this year, McMurray?

345
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:20,849
Oh, no. Look
with your eyes,

346
00:11:20,882 --> 00:11:22,016
not with
your hands, Dary.

347
00:11:22,050 --> 00:11:24,218
Now, would you just
look at that?

348
00:11:25,019 --> 00:11:26,354
Top Tobacco Canada.

349
00:11:26,387 --> 00:11:28,222
Now, that is
a beautiful piece.

350
00:11:28,256 --> 00:11:29,924
Ain't that
a beautiful piece?

351
00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:30,992
Pertnear mint too.

352
00:11:31,025 --> 00:11:32,460
Oh, I can see
she's pertnear mint,

353
00:11:32,493 --> 00:11:33,427
But unfortunately for you,

354
00:11:33,461 --> 00:11:35,764
pertnear's only good
in horse shoes and...

355
00:11:35,797 --> 00:11:36,831
‐Long darts.
‐Yep.

356
00:11:36,865 --> 00:11:40,168
Top Tobacco Canada,
founded in the early 1900s.

357
00:11:40,201 --> 00:11:42,904
One of Canada's first
distributor of tobacco.

358
00:11:42,937 --> 00:11:43,905
Bet you didn't know that.

359
00:11:43,938 --> 00:11:46,107
Oh, I am impressed
with your knowledge, Wayne.

360
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,141
‐McMurray...
‐Mmm?

361
00:11:48,743 --> 00:11:50,879
What are you gonna need
to have outta that?

362
00:11:50,912 --> 00:11:53,715
Oh, that's a $50 bill any day
of the week, Chief.

363
00:11:53,748 --> 00:11:55,750
See, now that sounds
like retail to me.

364
00:11:55,784 --> 00:11:56,851
Look here, Chief.
You said yourself

365
00:11:56,885 --> 00:11:58,853
it's a beautiful piece.
Given the condition of it,

366
00:11:58,887 --> 00:12:00,889
and the historical value
attached to it.

367
00:12:00,922 --> 00:12:02,256
‐$50 you say?
‐Mmm‐hmm.

368
00:12:02,290 --> 00:12:03,692
‐McMurray...
‐Mmm?

369
00:12:05,026 --> 00:12:08,162
What's the absolute best
you can do on it?

370
00:12:08,196 --> 00:12:09,898
Well, being an avid
collector myself,

371
00:12:09,931 --> 00:12:10,765
Wayne, I can't see myself

372
00:12:10,799 --> 00:12:12,466
parting it with any less
than a $50 note.

373
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:13,568
Why don't we just...

374
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:15,236
Why don't you bundle
a few items together, Big Dad?

375
00:12:17,205 --> 00:12:19,140
‐Ol' long dick Dierks!
‐Pardon?

376
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,442
Long dicker Dierks today,
tight shirt, huge pecs.

377
00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:22,511
Just see if you can get
the price down

378
00:12:22,544 --> 00:12:24,846
just a wee bit for 'em there
boo‐boo kitty fuck.

379
00:12:24,879 --> 00:12:27,749
Let's keep this thing civil.
Very civil. Very square.

380
00:12:27,782 --> 00:12:29,818
(CACKLING)

381
00:12:29,851 --> 00:12:32,086
Now, that is how
you dicker

382
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,055
you old coon hound.

383
00:12:34,088 --> 00:12:35,123
You can learn something
from him, Wayne.

384
00:12:35,156 --> 00:12:38,159
Always gotta dicker.
Never show up empty‐handed.

385
00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,228
‐Brewskis?
‐That was polites of him.

386
00:12:40,261 --> 00:12:41,195
That was polite of him.

387
00:12:41,229 --> 00:12:44,833
Oh, yes. You're in G&T
country now, fella.

388
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:47,335
Very hospitable. Very
hospitable, very helpful.

389
00:12:47,368 --> 00:12:48,937
‐Thank you.
‐Well, there is my wife.

390
00:12:48,970 --> 00:12:51,205
My well‐wisher.
My whole wide world, baby.

391
00:12:52,340 --> 00:12:53,775
Is it racist to say
that your wife

392
00:12:53,808 --> 00:12:55,844
‐looks like Princess Jasmine?
‐He's a tools.

393
00:12:55,877 --> 00:12:56,878
That's Dierks, baby.

394
00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,749
Old long dong himself?

395
00:13:02,116 --> 00:13:03,051
I'm a hugger.

396
00:13:03,084 --> 00:13:05,086
So you gotta get
in here 'cause I'm a hugger.

397
00:13:06,487 --> 00:13:08,523
I'm fucking Hugs Bunny.

398
00:13:08,557 --> 00:13:10,024
‐(MOANS) Oh.
‐There you go, okay.

399
00:13:10,058 --> 00:13:11,459
‐All right, easy.
‐Oh, it's always

400
00:13:11,492 --> 00:13:13,528
nice to meet
another hugger.

401
00:13:13,562 --> 00:13:14,829
Don't she gives some
good hugging there, Dierks?

402
00:13:14,863 --> 00:13:18,032
Oh, you're a good hugger, baby.
You know you're the good hugger.

403
00:13:18,066 --> 00:13:19,367
Okay, we're good.

404
00:13:20,902 --> 00:13:22,537
I got one
for you too, Dan.

405
00:13:22,571 --> 00:13:24,305
Came all the way up here
to meet you, you fucking

406
00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:26,440
gigantic, cheerful loneliness.
Bring it in.

407
00:13:26,474 --> 00:13:28,276
All right. It's gonna
be slightly less intense

408
00:13:28,309 --> 00:13:30,411
‐than your previous hug.
‐Okay.

409
00:13:30,444 --> 00:13:32,146
That is some
good huggings.

410
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,582
‐Hug life.
‐Mmm‐hmm.

411
00:13:33,615 --> 00:13:35,116
‐Daryl.
‐And you.

412
00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:36,284
You must be Rosie.

413
00:13:37,952 --> 00:13:39,220
Then I will be.

414
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,822
You had to tame
this one, didn't you?

415
00:13:40,855 --> 00:13:42,390
Look at you,
you fucking cowboy you.

416
00:13:42,423 --> 00:13:44,092
You know,
Brokeback break my heart.

417
00:13:45,059 --> 00:13:46,494
(WAYNE GRUMBLES)

418
00:13:49,964 --> 00:13:51,099
Where are the lights?

419
00:13:51,132 --> 00:13:52,266
Just on the

420
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:53,902
ceiling where they
generally are.

421
00:13:53,935 --> 00:13:55,336
Where's the, like,
production team?

422
00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:56,605
You are looking at 'em.

423
00:13:56,638 --> 00:13:57,906
And where's the camera?

424
00:13:57,939 --> 00:13:59,207
Oh, we figured
we'd just take a selfie.

425
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,576
But don't worry.
We've taken hundreds of them.

426
00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:03,878
‐Thousands.
‐Tens of thousands.

427
00:14:03,912 --> 00:14:06,080
We've taken
ten thousand selfies.

428
00:14:06,114 --> 00:14:07,949
(CHUCKLES)
Let's recap.

429
00:14:07,982 --> 00:14:09,117
BROdude Energy has hired me

430
00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:11,185
for a photoshoot
with no camera...

431
00:14:11,219 --> 00:14:13,187
Just this guy.
(IMITATING SHUTTER SOUND)

432
00:14:13,221 --> 00:14:15,156
‐and no lighting.
‐Still on the ceiling

433
00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:17,025
where they generally are.

434
00:14:17,058 --> 00:14:19,060
And no one from
BROdude Energy is even here?

435
00:14:19,093 --> 00:14:20,128
Just us.

436
00:14:20,161 --> 00:14:21,495
I see two dudes
in BROdude hats.

437
00:14:24,098 --> 00:14:25,166
‐Oh.
‐Oh.

438
00:14:26,234 --> 00:14:27,936
Don't worry.
BROdude has asked us

439
00:14:27,969 --> 00:14:29,203
to be brand ambassadors,

440
00:14:29,237 --> 00:14:30,939
but we have to prove
to them

441
00:14:30,972 --> 00:14:33,474
that we can, eh, um,

442
00:14:33,508 --> 00:14:37,278
ambassa... dize.

443
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:39,447
And once we've proven that
to them we're going straight

444
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,381
to the tippity‐top.

445
00:14:40,414 --> 00:14:42,517
And guess what,
we're taking you with us.

446
00:14:42,551 --> 00:14:44,118
All the way!

447
00:14:44,152 --> 00:14:45,453
‐(SPEAKING FRENCH)
‐Sick.

448
00:14:45,486 --> 00:14:46,988
‐Jonesy.
‐Anik.

449
00:14:47,021 --> 00:14:49,257
We have this sort of,
creative vision

450
00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:51,459
in mind, but
first we'd like to ask

451
00:14:51,492 --> 00:14:53,995
what... what would you say
is like the...

452
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:57,599
‐Allure?
‐Nice, buddy.

453
00:14:57,632 --> 00:15:00,068
What would you say is the
biggest part of the allure

454
00:15:00,101 --> 00:15:02,036
to your racy Instagram?

455
00:15:02,971 --> 00:15:04,005
‐Tits.
‐Tits!

456
00:15:04,038 --> 00:15:04,906
Titties!

457
00:15:04,939 --> 00:15:06,941
We also thought
that was a major factor.

458
00:15:06,975 --> 00:15:09,210
Not the only factor,
but dudes love titties.

459
00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:10,478
Dudes love titties, boys.

460
00:15:10,512 --> 00:15:12,146
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

461
00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:14,683
‐ Oui.
‐So, with that in mind,

462
00:15:14,716 --> 00:15:16,985
are you ready to begin
executing our rise

463
00:15:17,018 --> 00:15:18,286
as BROdude
brand ambassadors?

464
00:15:18,319 --> 00:15:20,522
‐And yours.
‐Yes, of course, yours as well.

465
00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:23,357
Let's ambassadize.

466
00:15:23,391 --> 00:15:25,259
‐Yeww!
‐Yew!

467
00:15:25,293 --> 00:15:26,360
‐Ferda!
‐Ferda!

468
00:15:26,394 --> 00:15:27,395
‐Titties. Oh!
‐Yes.

469
00:16:13,274 --> 00:16:15,544
(MOANING)

470
00:16:18,547 --> 00:16:19,648
Repent.

471
00:16:20,749 --> 00:16:21,950
Sinner.

472
00:16:24,018 --> 00:16:26,454
How'd you like to hear
this old goat say...

473
00:16:26,487 --> 00:16:28,623
‐(IMITATING GOAT BLEATING)
‐WAYNE: Gailer.

474
00:16:28,657 --> 00:16:29,991
Some other time.

475
00:16:30,659 --> 00:16:32,527
Wanna see my spread?

476
00:16:33,728 --> 00:16:35,229
That's for me?

477
00:16:35,263 --> 00:16:36,364
Oh, I can see it.

478
00:16:36,397 --> 00:16:37,732
It's very uh, substantial.

479
00:16:37,766 --> 00:16:39,233
Very substantial, very specific.

480
00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:41,369
My other one.

481
00:16:41,402 --> 00:16:42,403
(GLEN BLOWING RECORDERS)

482
00:16:43,572 --> 00:16:44,706
Look at you.

483
00:16:44,739 --> 00:16:46,307
You're like
a li'l Leo Day‐ka‐prio.

484
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,543
You're like
a heathen Christian Bale.

485
00:16:48,577 --> 00:16:50,679
You're like
a Johnny dippity Depp,

486
00:16:50,712 --> 00:16:52,346
mixed in with
The Last Of The Mohicans

487
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:53,381
Danny Day‐Lewis,

488
00:16:53,414 --> 00:16:55,483
and a hint of Eddie Norton
in <i>Fight Club,</i>

489
00:16:55,517 --> 00:16:58,219
and a soupcon
of Jay Bourne Matty Damon,

490
00:16:58,252 --> 00:16:59,554
and it's working for me.

491
00:16:59,588 --> 00:17:01,289
‐(BLOWS RECORDERS)
‐This is Dierks.

492
00:17:01,322 --> 00:17:02,356
‐(MOCKINGLY) Dierks.
‐Hi.

493
00:17:02,390 --> 00:17:04,092
The Dierker the berry

494
00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:05,159
the sweeter the juice.

495
00:17:05,193 --> 00:17:06,227
GLEN: Now you're like a li'l

496
00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:07,762
Hughie Jackman, Bradley Pitt,

497
00:17:07,796 --> 00:17:09,097
stick of Harry Ford.

498
00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:10,431
Makes me wanna Hugh Dancy,

499
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:11,733
till I get Tom Hardy.

500
00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:13,535
Wouldn't kick him out of bed
for eatin' crackers.

501
00:17:15,504 --> 00:17:17,205
Hey, Gailer?

502
00:17:17,238 --> 00:17:19,107
Do you have any of those uh...

503
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:21,242
reading materials?

504
00:17:21,275 --> 00:17:23,678
‐DARYL: That, I uh...
‐Dary wants your pornos, cousin.

505
00:17:23,712 --> 00:17:25,313
Why didn't he just say that,
cousin?

506
00:17:25,346 --> 00:17:27,181
Ask and you shall receive, Dary.

507
00:17:27,215 --> 00:17:29,350
Late '70s
or early '80s Playboys?

508
00:17:29,784 --> 00:17:31,085
More bush

509
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:33,454
‐than a Christmas tree farm.
‐Repent!

510
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:34,656
How's the used book collection,

511
00:17:34,689 --> 00:17:35,524
‐Gailers?
‐Ooh,

512
00:17:35,557 --> 00:17:37,291
that's my purview this year,
Daniel.

513
00:17:37,325 --> 00:17:39,293
I've emptied out
the church library,

514
00:17:39,327 --> 00:17:40,795
so I have
some fascinating titles

515
00:17:40,829 --> 00:17:42,296
for bargain basement prices.

516
00:17:42,330 --> 00:17:43,732
‐Try this one.
‐Ooh!

517
00:17:43,765 --> 00:17:45,133
And really think on it.

518
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:47,135
Original MoDean's glassware.

519
00:17:47,168 --> 00:17:48,369
WAYNE: Would you take a look
at that?

520
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:50,271
That is a beautiful piece.

521
00:17:50,304 --> 00:17:51,339
MoDean's I,

522
00:17:51,372 --> 00:17:53,141
‐established in...
‐Okay, I got this one, Big Dad.

523
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,343
MoDean's I,
established mid '80s

524
00:17:55,376 --> 00:17:56,444
you were saying.

525
00:17:56,477 --> 00:17:57,445
You were listening.

526
00:17:57,478 --> 00:17:58,780
DIERKS: First drinking
establishment in town

527
00:17:58,813 --> 00:17:59,848
to have a dance floor.

528
00:17:59,881 --> 00:18:02,784
Very conducive. Very conducive,
very considerate.

529
00:18:02,817 --> 00:18:04,152
Very crucial.

530
00:18:04,185 --> 00:18:05,219
Very constructive.

531
00:18:05,253 --> 00:18:07,321
Very cooperative.

532
00:18:07,355 --> 00:18:09,624
Somebody tie my dick to my leg.

533
00:18:09,658 --> 00:18:11,526
Gorgeous Gail, what are you
gonna need to have out of that?

534
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,127
‐Take 'em.
‐Well, thank you.

535
00:18:13,161 --> 00:18:14,462
For not giving me
the retail price,

536
00:18:14,495 --> 00:18:16,364
but seriously,
what's the absolute best

537
00:18:16,397 --> 00:18:17,832
‐you can do on 'em?
‐GAIL: Take 'em.

538
00:18:17,866 --> 00:18:19,100
Take me.

539
00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:20,301
I think,
this is the most fired up

540
00:18:20,334 --> 00:18:21,202
I've ever seen her.

541
00:18:21,235 --> 00:18:23,137
Should we bundle
a few items together?

542
00:18:23,171 --> 00:18:25,640
I'm surprised we're not bundling
a few items together right now.

543
00:18:25,674 --> 00:18:27,609
(WAYNE GROANING)

544
00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:30,444
Okay, Daniel. Start a library.

545
00:18:32,681 --> 00:18:33,715
REILLY: It's go time, buddy.

546
00:18:33,748 --> 00:18:34,816
JONESY: Getting
this thing ready.

547
00:18:37,586 --> 00:18:38,620
Go!

548
00:18:38,653 --> 00:18:40,755
I think you're going
to be pleased.

549
00:18:40,789 --> 00:18:41,823
‐Okay.
‐JONESY: My billet sister

550
00:18:41,856 --> 00:18:43,224
knows photoshop.

551
00:18:43,257 --> 00:18:44,593
We dug deep for this one, boys.

552
00:18:44,626 --> 00:18:45,627
Great tits.

553
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,596
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

554
00:18:47,629 --> 00:18:50,431
We've blown up the photo
for optimal viewing.

555
00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:52,734
‐Can't wait.
‐Without further a‐dough...

556
00:18:55,870 --> 00:18:57,438
Aw! Sacrament.

557
00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:59,140
REILLY: Right? Sacrebleu!

558
00:18:59,173 --> 00:19:00,675
JONESY: Zut alors!
REILLY: Baguette!

559
00:19:00,709 --> 00:19:01,843
JONESY: La bibliotheque!

560
00:19:01,876 --> 00:19:03,645
‐Passeporte.
‐ Oui, oui, oui!

561
00:19:03,678 --> 00:19:04,713
Soup du jour!

562
00:19:04,746 --> 00:19:06,515
‐JONESY: Le francais!
‐Okay.

563
00:19:06,548 --> 00:19:09,150
Do you have the original photo?
Without the tit faces?

564
00:19:09,183 --> 00:19:10,519
We do. We wanted to

565
00:19:10,552 --> 00:19:12,286
‐show you the entire process...
‐Lemme see.

566
00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:17,025
A star is born.

567
00:19:17,058 --> 00:19:18,760
‐Great movie.
‐Terrible song though.

568
00:19:18,793 --> 00:19:20,629
Like, why does everyone
have to fuckin' sing now?

569
00:19:20,662 --> 00:19:21,663
I'm talking to her.

570
00:19:22,396 --> 00:19:23,798
Name?

571
00:19:23,832 --> 00:19:25,900
Doesn't matter.
I'd like to offer you

572
00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:28,436
and your tits, a six figure
BROdude Energy contract.

573
00:19:28,469 --> 00:19:29,504
What are your thoughts?

574
00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:30,572
(SPEAKING FRENCH)

575
00:19:30,605 --> 00:19:31,706
You're both fired.

576
00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,575
Told you I was taking numbers.

577
00:19:33,608 --> 00:19:36,611
And that's strike two.
You're out.

578
00:19:36,645 --> 00:19:38,179
JONESY: No. It's three strikes

579
00:19:38,212 --> 00:19:39,914
‐and you're out.
‐That's baseball.

580
00:19:39,948 --> 00:19:41,850
Oh, I play
soccer‐baseball rules.

581
00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:42,917
Thought I mentioned it.

582
00:19:42,951 --> 00:19:44,653
Oh, well. Ciao.

583
00:19:45,754 --> 00:19:46,755
Yewww!

584
00:19:47,789 --> 00:19:48,790
BOTH: Yeww.

585
00:19:52,661 --> 00:19:53,928
‐Big brother.
‐How'r ya now?

586
00:19:53,962 --> 00:19:55,496
‐Good'n you?
‐Not s'bad.

587
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:56,565
‐Big Dad.
‐(SARCASTICALLY) Dierks.

588
00:19:56,598 --> 00:19:57,866
‐Kat and I...
‐Kat?

589
00:19:57,899 --> 00:19:58,933
‐Katy‐Kat.
‐Cool it.

590
00:19:58,967 --> 00:20:00,535
We found a couple guys uptown,

591
00:20:00,569 --> 00:20:02,771
in from out west,
to hit up some yard sales.

592
00:20:02,804 --> 00:20:03,838
Good dudes.

593
00:20:03,872 --> 00:20:05,339
Thought you might be able to uh,

594
00:20:05,373 --> 00:20:06,374
point 'em
in the right direction.

595
00:20:09,010 --> 00:20:10,211
(EXCLAIMS)

596
00:20:13,715 --> 00:20:14,883
Sweet dick!

597
00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:15,950
Smooth cock!

598
00:20:15,984 --> 00:20:17,351
So Dierks, which one is which?

599
00:20:17,952 --> 00:20:19,320
Nice guy, eh?

600
00:20:19,353 --> 00:20:20,555
‐Scott?
‐Sheldon?

601
00:20:20,589 --> 00:20:22,591
(ALL TOGETHER)
The Canadian Pickers.

602
00:20:22,624 --> 00:20:24,258
What are the odds, big brother?

603
00:20:24,292 --> 00:20:26,761
Your mentors in dickering.
Right here in Letterkenny.

604
00:20:26,795 --> 00:20:27,829
Letterkenny, Ontario.

605
00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:32,266
Irish community following
the 1840s potato famine.

606
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:34,235
Still strong Irish roots today.

607
00:20:34,268 --> 00:20:35,269
Beautiful place.

608
00:20:39,908 --> 00:20:41,810
Welcome to fuckin' Letterkenny.

609
00:20:41,843 --> 00:20:43,444
‐Thank you.
‐The boys are in the middle

610
00:20:43,477 --> 00:20:44,846
of one of their tours
across Canada.

611
00:20:44,879 --> 00:20:47,315
Looking for hidden treasures
in people's basements,

612
00:20:47,348 --> 00:20:48,750
attics and barns.

613
00:20:48,783 --> 00:20:49,984
Just no cameras this time.

614
00:20:50,018 --> 00:20:51,352
SHELDON: I said to Scott,

615
00:20:51,385 --> 00:20:52,654
see that fork in the road?

616
00:20:52,687 --> 00:20:54,355
‐BOTH: Take it.
‐(ALL LAUGHING)

617
00:20:54,388 --> 00:20:56,525
I like that one. I laugh at that
one every time.

618
00:20:56,558 --> 00:20:58,259
The show is just terrific,
fellas.

619
00:20:58,292 --> 00:21:00,629
Everyone you run into
across the country is so nice.

620
00:21:00,662 --> 00:21:02,463
Makes a fella proud
to be Canadian.

621
00:21:02,496 --> 00:21:04,799
Scott can be a little aggressive
dickering,

622
00:21:04,833 --> 00:21:07,335
but we always leave
with a smile on our face.

623
00:21:07,368 --> 00:21:08,436
Just gotta know how to dicker.

624
00:21:08,469 --> 00:21:09,638
Oh, you always gotta dicker.

625
00:21:09,671 --> 00:21:10,705
Speakin' of dickering,

626
00:21:10,739 --> 00:21:12,641
that fresh produce stand there.

627
00:21:12,674 --> 00:21:14,676
That's a beauty.

628
00:21:14,709 --> 00:21:17,411
I can see there is
a little Birdseye maple,

629
00:21:17,445 --> 00:21:20,314
and I can smell
the cherry wood from here.

630
00:21:20,348 --> 00:21:22,784
‐Smells like Ontario. Eh, Shel?
‐SHELDON: It's a beauty.

631
00:21:22,817 --> 00:21:24,485
So, Wayne.

632
00:21:24,519 --> 00:21:25,654
What are you gonna need
out of it?

633
00:21:27,088 --> 00:21:29,658
Well, fellas.
She's not for sale, but fuck!

634
00:21:29,691 --> 00:21:30,992
Time and materials

635
00:21:31,025 --> 00:21:32,026
put her at about

636
00:21:32,827 --> 00:21:34,395
$2,500.

637
00:21:34,428 --> 00:21:36,965
Yikes! That sounds
like retail to me.

638
00:21:36,998 --> 00:21:38,366
Okay, Wayne.

639
00:21:38,399 --> 00:21:40,535
What's the absolute best
you can do

640
00:21:40,569 --> 00:21:42,537
for a couple of pickers
out of Calgary?

641
00:21:42,571 --> 00:21:44,773
Fellows, you know, I'd really
like to help youse out,

642
00:21:44,806 --> 00:21:46,875
but I can't part with it.

643
00:21:46,908 --> 00:21:48,910
The history is just
too important around here.

644
00:21:48,943 --> 00:21:50,745
If you don't understand
where you came from...

645
00:21:50,779 --> 00:21:52,413
...you'll never understand
where you are.

646
00:21:52,981 --> 00:21:54,516
Fair enough.

647
00:21:54,549 --> 00:21:57,385
But what say we bundle up
some of this fresh produce?

648
00:21:57,418 --> 00:21:58,520
You can take it with you
on your travels.

649
00:21:58,553 --> 00:22:01,556
How 'bout throw in a couple
cold beers in the sunshine

650
00:22:01,590 --> 00:22:02,991
and you got yourself a deal?

651
00:22:03,858 --> 00:22:05,426
That's a heck of a deal.

652
00:22:05,459 --> 00:22:06,795
Your terms are acceptable.

653
00:22:09,564 --> 00:22:10,565
Thank you.

654
00:22:12,534 --> 00:22:14,569
Where's youse guys off to next?
New Liskeard?

655
00:22:14,603 --> 00:22:15,704
Penetang?

656
00:22:15,737 --> 00:22:16,638
Petrolia?

657
00:22:16,671 --> 00:22:18,640
I couldn't believe
you guys found the bell

658
00:22:18,673 --> 00:22:20,374
that killed Jumbo,
in St. Thomas.

659
00:22:20,408 --> 00:22:21,510
BOTH: Allegedly!

660
00:22:29,518 --> 00:22:30,952
(CELL PHONE RINGING
AND VIBRATING)

661
00:22:34,088 --> 00:22:35,089
You gonna get that?

662
00:22:35,990 --> 00:22:37,692
Mind your beeswax.

663
00:22:37,726 --> 00:22:38,960
It's a beautiful day for hay.

664
00:22:38,993 --> 00:22:40,028
It's fuckin' barley.

665
00:22:40,061 --> 00:22:41,596
‐Need a hand?
‐Sorted.

666
00:22:42,864 --> 00:22:44,566
Maybe run the house
get Dary actually.

667
00:22:44,599 --> 00:22:46,034
I got half cut
with Scott and Shel.

668
00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:47,101
Listen, incredibly sexy,
Big Dad.

669
00:22:47,135 --> 00:22:49,103
I know it was a bit
of a weird first impression,

670
00:22:49,137 --> 00:22:50,605
getting to know me
at the strip club.

671
00:22:50,639 --> 00:22:51,673
Very weird.

672
00:22:51,706 --> 00:22:52,974
Very weird, very weighty.

673
00:22:53,007 --> 00:22:54,776
A first impression's
a lasting one.

674
00:22:54,809 --> 00:22:56,144
‐Katy...
‐Katy's a big girl.

675
00:22:56,177 --> 00:22:57,912
When I'm at the rippers,
that ain't me.

676
00:22:57,946 --> 00:22:59,113
Just out having a giggle.

677
00:22:59,147 --> 00:23:01,616
Putting on a show for the boys.
I'm really not that guy.

678
00:23:01,650 --> 00:23:03,051
‐Good.
‐You can trust me, cute.

679
00:23:03,084 --> 00:23:04,118
Yeah, okay.

680
00:23:04,152 --> 00:23:05,219
You don't trust me, huh?

681
00:23:05,253 --> 00:23:07,656
A snake can shed its skin,
but it's still a snake.

682
00:23:08,489 --> 00:23:10,124
‐Katy's a...
‐Katy's a girl who knows

683
00:23:10,158 --> 00:23:11,059
exactly what she wants.

684
00:23:11,092 --> 00:23:13,528
So, if anything,
you oughta have an eye.

685
00:23:13,562 --> 00:23:14,863
‐Okay.
‐And here's the thing,

686
00:23:14,896 --> 00:23:18,066
and I'm gonna tell ya.
If you mis‐step...

687
00:23:18,099 --> 00:23:20,502
you'll have every dude
in Letterkenny lined up

688
00:23:20,535 --> 00:23:22,737
around the block for ya.

689
00:23:22,771 --> 00:23:25,039
‐Won't mis‐step.
‐And I'll be comin' first.

690
00:23:28,777 --> 00:23:30,078
A guy walks into a bar.

691
00:23:30,111 --> 00:23:32,847
There's a terrorist
behind the bar.

692
00:23:32,881 --> 00:23:34,148
Guy says to the terrorist,
"I'll have a vodka

693
00:23:34,182 --> 00:23:37,185
"on the rocks." Terrorist picks
up a single ice cube in one hand

694
00:23:37,218 --> 00:23:38,653
and says, "Oh,

695
00:23:38,687 --> 00:23:39,688
"you like ice?"

696
00:23:40,154 --> 00:23:41,690
Guy says, "Yeah,

697
00:23:41,723 --> 00:23:43,758
"but more than one piece."

698
00:23:43,792 --> 00:23:45,927
Terrorist scoops up a handful
of ice in the other hand

699
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:46,961
and says, "Oh,

700
00:23:47,829 --> 00:23:48,830
"so you like...

701
00:23:50,965 --> 00:23:51,966
"ices?"

702
00:23:53,502 --> 00:23:54,503
Get the fuck outta here.