1
00:00:13,966 --> 00:00:16,066
First of fucking many, boys.

2
00:00:17,766 --> 00:00:19,666
‐This an Irish Car Bomb?
‐That's offensive.

3
00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:22,100
‐That's an Irish Hand Grenade.
‐You shouldn't call it that.

4
00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:24,300
‐What's the difference?
‐Well, in Irish Car Bombs,

5
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:25,433
you drop the shot
of Irish whiskey

6
00:00:25,466 --> 00:00:28,166
and the shots of Irish Cream
down into a pints of stout.

7
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,766
Which is also
presumably Irish.

8
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,433
Sounds a lot like an
Irish Hand Grenade.

9
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:33,333
The difference is,
in an Irish Hand Grenades,

10
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,066
you wedge the shots
of Irish whiskey

11
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:36,200
and the shots of Irish Cream

12
00:00:36,233 --> 00:00:37,600
into the tops
of the pints of stout.

13
00:00:37,633 --> 00:00:39,800
Which is also
presumably Irish.

14
00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:41,666
Then you grab
the shots of Irish whiskey,

15
00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:43,666
pulls it out like you would
the pins of a hand grenade,

16
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:45,166
do the shots of whiskey

17
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,533
and then you drink
the Irish cream

18
00:00:46,566 --> 00:00:47,300
what's fallen down
into the stouts.

19
00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:48,200
Enough talking.

20
00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:57,733
(EXHALES)

21
00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,533
‐That's a good shot.
‐It's a really good shot.

22
00:00:59,566 --> 00:01:01,133
Well, it's a great shot
and you should just

23
00:01:01,166 --> 00:01:02,733
call it something different,
is what I'm saying.

24
00:01:02,766 --> 00:01:04,066
‐Why?
‐Yeah, it's just the names

25
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:05,433
‐of the drinks.
‐You wanna know what?

26
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:06,533
Go over and tell somebody
who grew up

27
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,800
in Northern Ireland
in the 1970s that.

28
00:01:07,833 --> 00:01:09,533
Go ahead and try
and tell them that.

29
00:01:09,566 --> 00:01:12,366
Here comes Wayne,
the St. Pat's poopy pants.

30
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,500
Well, I don't wanna be

31
00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:15,233
a St. Patrick's Day
poopy pants.

32
00:01:15,266 --> 00:01:16,600
All's I'm saying is that
we're missing the mark here.

33
00:01:16,633 --> 00:01:18,533
Well, here he comes
to poop the party.

34
00:01:18,566 --> 00:01:21,033
Well, here's the scoop
and I'm gonna tell you.

35
00:01:21,066 --> 00:01:23,433
Every single year we have this
nice St. Patrick's Day party

36
00:01:23,466 --> 00:01:25,133
at our very own Ag Hall

37
00:01:25,166 --> 00:01:27,533
and every single year degens
from up country come up

38
00:01:27,566 --> 00:01:29,033
and they fucking ruin it.

39
00:01:29,066 --> 00:01:31,400
We got the hockey team running
security this year.

40
00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:33,200
Not sure how I feel about
skids DJing though.

41
00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:35,400
I agree because
Agricultural Halls are for?

42
00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:37,533
ALL: Agricultural music.

43
00:01:37,566 --> 00:01:39,400
Go clean your bum, poopy.

44
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,466
All's I'm saying is that
it's a little bit hypocritical

45
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,233
for us to be mad
at degens from up country

46
00:01:43,266 --> 00:01:45,533
for not respecting
our St. Patrick's Day party

47
00:01:45,566 --> 00:01:47,633
when we, ourselves, are not
respecting St. Patrick.

48
00:01:47,666 --> 00:01:49,500
I'm just saying if somebody's
got their fucking day,

49
00:01:49,533 --> 00:01:51,200
‐give them their fucking day.
‐You aren't even religious.

50
00:01:51,233 --> 00:01:52,433
Who's got that kind of money?

51
00:01:52,466 --> 00:01:54,100
Well played.

52
00:01:54,133 --> 00:01:55,533
Yeah, but I hears they likes
to get pretty banged up

53
00:01:55,566 --> 00:01:56,733
in Irelands today, too.

54
00:01:56,766 --> 00:01:58,066
I hear they like to get
pretty banged up

55
00:01:58,100 --> 00:01:59,433
‐in Ireland most days.
‐St. Patrick's Day

56
00:01:59,466 --> 00:02:02,766
should be about,
well, shit St. Patrick did.

57
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,133
‐Like what?
‐Well, he drove the snakes

58
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,533
out of Ireland, for one.

59
00:02:05,566 --> 00:02:07,333
They never had
no snakes in no Irelands.

60
00:02:07,366 --> 00:02:09,033
I was never told they had
no snakes in Ireland.

61
00:02:09,066 --> 00:02:10,766
No snakes is a metaphor
for druid priests.

62
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,500
It's a metaphor, you see.

63
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:14,100
The druid priests
inhabited Ireland

64
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:15,333
before the Christians did

65
00:02:15,366 --> 00:02:16,366
and they believed
in, like, animal and

66
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,300
fucking human
sacrifices and shit.

67
00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:20,066
Sounds like something
Joe Rogan might do.

68
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,633
‐He's a pretty good guy.
‐Joe Rogan's a great guy.

69
00:02:21,666 --> 00:02:23,266
Yeah, Joe Rogan
is a great guy.

70
00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:25,100
I wonder what
Joe Rogan would do?

71
00:02:25,133 --> 00:02:26,766
Well, probably some DMT.

72
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,533
Well, I guess there ain't
no reason to get excited.

73
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,633
And well, I'm starting
to get a bit drunk.

74
00:02:32,666 --> 00:02:34,533
Well, there you go, poopy.

75
00:02:34,566 --> 00:02:36,700
I suppose as long as
everyone's having a good time

76
00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:39,666
there ain't no reason
to be a poopy pants.

77
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,366
‐(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
‐Well, good timing, brother.

78
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,700
Let's get hammered.

79
00:02:42,733 --> 00:02:44,100
Don't have to tell me twice.

80
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,433
(MUSIC BLARING ON CAR STEREO)

81
00:03:14,166 --> 00:03:15,766
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

82
00:03:39,466 --> 00:03:42,333
Thanks for the ride, and
have yourself a fantastic day!

83
00:03:44,366 --> 00:03:45,500
Thank you, Seth.

84
00:03:49,566 --> 00:03:51,333
‐I'd have a beer.
‐How's your beer, Dary?

85
00:03:51,366 --> 00:03:53,166
‐I'd have a beer.
‐I'm making a Caesar.

86
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,100
‐Have a fucking beer.
‐I'd have a beer.

87
00:03:56,133 --> 00:03:58,100
You know what that was?
You wanna know what that was?

88
00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:03,033
It was entertainment.
Entertainment's what that was.

89
00:04:03,066 --> 00:04:04,800
I am a hape.

90
00:04:04,833 --> 00:04:06,766
A hape as the Irish would say.

91
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,500
That was the best
St. Patrick's Day party ever.

92
00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:10,566
St. Perfect's Day
is what that was.

93
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,533
Yeah!

94
00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:13,766
I don't remember anything.

95
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,133
‐You don't?
‐Wait...

96
00:04:16,366 --> 00:04:17,433
No, I don't remember anything.

97
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:18,700
‐Nothing?
‐No.

98
00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:20,500
Well, you never
lost consciousness.

99
00:04:20,533 --> 00:04:23,233
I came to in the back
of Seth's truck there.

100
00:04:23,266 --> 00:04:24,533
On account
of fresh air, likely.

101
00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:26,100
Yeah, a glass of water,
a bit of fresh air,

102
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,633
‐that'll do it, bud.
‐I got the fear.

103
00:04:27,666 --> 00:04:29,233
‐Yeah, glass of water.
‐I'm scared.

104
00:04:29,266 --> 00:04:30,566
Bit of fresh air.

105
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,266
‐I don't know who I talked to.
‐Yeah, that'll do it.

106
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:34,100
I don't know
what I said to who.

107
00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:37,233
Dary, I know what you did,
I know who you talked to

108
00:04:37,266 --> 00:04:39,166
and I know what people
are saying about you today.

109
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,066
‐I'm frightened.
‐You

110
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:42,466
are a fucking legend, Dary.

111
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,233
What?

112
00:04:45,266 --> 00:04:47,666
You are
a fucking legend, Dary.

113
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:52,533
‐No!
‐You are Legen‐Dary.

114
00:04:52,566 --> 00:04:54,266
‐Wayne?
‐So they tell me.

115
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:55,533
What? Where were you?

116
00:04:55,566 --> 00:04:56,766
Out having a dart likely.

117
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,000
With who?

118
00:05:02,366 --> 00:05:03,566
McMurray, how are you now?

119
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,666
‐Good and you?
‐Not so bad.

120
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:08,533
Well, a little balmy out here.

121
00:05:08,566 --> 00:05:10,366
Yeah, it's a bit balmy
for fucking March, isn't it?

122
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,400
Mmm‐hmm.

123
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,700
I'm gonna speak
candidly now, Wayne.

124
00:05:14,733 --> 00:05:16,200
I'm feeling
a little bit apprehensive.

125
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,700
Uh‐oh.

126
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,566
Yes, sir. There's an awful
lot of degens inside

127
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,266
and I am not
too happy about it.

128
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:22,366
‐Not one little bit.
‐Not one little drill bit.

129
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,433
‐Negatory.
‐That's not one bell pepper.

130
00:05:24,466 --> 00:05:25,700
Mmm‐mmm. I'm wound
pretty tight, I can feel it.

131
00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:27,300
Well, you better simmer.

132
00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,033
Yes, I better simmer down now.

133
00:05:29,066 --> 00:05:30,800
Glass of water, bit of
fresh air, that'll do it.

134
00:05:30,833 --> 00:05:32,533
No, no, no, it's them degens

135
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,700
with their pantone
green sleeveless T's.

136
00:05:34,733 --> 00:05:37,266
Their avocado green beads
and their mantis green leis

137
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,800
when everyone knows leis are
exclusively fucking Hawaiian!

138
00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:41,300
It's infuriating!

139
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:43,066
Well, here's the scoop
and I'm gonna tell you.

140
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:44,566
We're all hypocrites here,

141
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,033
but so long as everyone's
having a good time,

142
00:05:46,066 --> 00:05:47,600
ain't no reason
to be a poopy pants.

143
00:05:47,633 --> 00:05:50,700
Yeah. You're right.
An "A" for effort, Wayne.

144
00:05:50,733 --> 00:05:52,300
But the pep talk
missed the mark.

145
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:53,600
I'm going back inside

146
00:05:53,633 --> 00:05:56,233
to keep an eye
on Mrs. McMurray and Bonnie.

147
00:05:56,266 --> 00:05:59,333
I got a feeling right now
security's already shit‐faced.

148
00:05:59,366 --> 00:06:00,700
‐Good enough.
‐Enjoy the ciggie.

149
00:06:05,745 --> 00:06:07,745
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

150
00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:11,078
Night of our lives, boys.

151
00:06:11,111 --> 00:06:14,978
Love that hustle, boys.
Love that hustle!

152
00:06:15,011 --> 00:06:16,811
‐Wanna see that jam, boys.
‐Love that jam, boys.

153
00:06:16,845 --> 00:06:18,578
Looking at the jam, dawgs.

154
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:21,711
Jam, boys, jam boys.
Good night.

155
00:06:21,745 --> 00:06:23,045
Tonight we'll dig deep.
Balls out.

156
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:24,745
‐Bardownski.
‐Always bardownski.

157
00:06:24,778 --> 00:06:26,745
Boys, boys, boys...

158
00:06:26,778 --> 00:06:28,645
‐You can't kick it down.
‐You can't kick it down.

159
00:06:28,678 --> 00:06:30,045
‐You can't kick it down.
‐Yeah!

160
00:06:33,645 --> 00:06:36,178
Boys, we're
at this level, right?

161
00:06:36,211 --> 00:06:38,811
Tonight, we're gonna get...

162
00:06:40,945 --> 00:06:42,678
(SHOUTING)

163
00:06:46,045 --> 00:06:48,478
It went in my nose,
and I'm not even mad.

164
00:06:48,511 --> 00:06:49,111
I'm not even mad.

165
00:06:50,278 --> 00:06:51,845
So I'm a legend?

166
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,578
You are
a fucking legend, Dary.

167
00:06:54,611 --> 00:06:57,478
You are Legen‐Dary.

168
00:06:57,511 --> 00:06:58,511
(CHUCKLES)

169
00:06:58,545 --> 00:07:00,545
All right.

170
00:07:00,578 --> 00:07:02,745
Well, whip it out for me.

171
00:07:02,778 --> 00:07:05,778
Well, does you remember
the leprechaun?

172
00:07:05,811 --> 00:07:07,911
No, I don't remember
the leprechaun.

173
00:07:07,945 --> 00:07:09,578
Well, the leprechaun

174
00:07:09,611 --> 00:07:12,978
spelled stage one of you
becoming Legen‐Dary.

175
00:07:13,011 --> 00:07:14,178
Hope you know
leprechauns don't hold

176
00:07:14,211 --> 00:07:16,178
no real significance
to St. Patrick's Day.

177
00:07:16,211 --> 00:07:18,011
I did know that.
Leprechauns are mythological

178
00:07:18,045 --> 00:07:19,911
faerie folk believed to have
inhabited Ireland

179
00:07:19,945 --> 00:07:21,111
‐before the Celts.
‐A‐1, bud.

180
00:07:21,145 --> 00:07:23,878
And last night
I gots to be one.

181
00:07:27,211 --> 00:07:28,945
Now first off,

182
00:07:28,978 --> 00:07:30,678
the skids were playing
the weirdest song

183
00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:32,045
that I'll admits,

184
00:07:32,078 --> 00:07:35,611
I later grew to appreciates
and treasure.

185
00:07:35,645 --> 00:07:37,578
But I was just standing there
minding my own beeswax,

186
00:07:37,611 --> 00:07:38,978
enjoying a green beer

187
00:07:39,011 --> 00:07:40,111
and a corned beef
and cabbage sandwich

188
00:07:40,145 --> 00:07:41,678
made by Bonnie McMurray

189
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,578
who's over there looking
just as sweet as juice.

190
00:07:43,611 --> 00:07:45,578
Which is the traditional
St. Patrick's Day sandwich.

191
00:07:45,611 --> 00:07:46,778
Hers were extra special

192
00:07:46,811 --> 00:07:48,778
on account of the spicy
Dijon‐dill mustard

193
00:07:48,811 --> 00:07:50,778
she slaps on there
and the garlic pickle garnish.

194
00:07:50,811 --> 00:07:51,978
(FLY BUZZING)

195
00:07:52,011 --> 00:07:54,011
I noticed some degens
from up country

196
00:07:54,045 --> 00:07:55,811
are picking on
Letterkenny's very own

197
00:07:55,845 --> 00:07:58,211
St. Perfect's Day mascot,
Pitter Paddy.

198
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,011
And I know that it's
David Hoffstettler's brother

199
00:08:00,045 --> 00:08:02,211
Dwight under that costume,
and he's a little bit slow,

200
00:08:02,245 --> 00:08:03,978
so I felts compelled
to intervene.

201
00:08:04,011 --> 00:08:06,211
But before I could,
Dwight Hoffstettler's decided

202
00:08:06,245 --> 00:08:08,745
he's had enough,
he peels off the costume,

203
00:08:08,778 --> 00:08:10,845
throws it on the floor
in a heap and stomps off.

204
00:08:10,878 --> 00:08:12,578
I sees an opportunity
in front of me,

205
00:08:12,611 --> 00:08:13,911
but I concurrently
have a corned beef

206
00:08:13,945 --> 00:08:15,545
and cabbage sandwich
in my meat handler

207
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,145
and I was planning
on tossing a few more down.

208
00:08:17,178 --> 00:08:19,811
Plus, Bonnie McMurray's
there looking just so comely.

209
00:08:19,845 --> 00:08:21,745
So she's nothing
to run away from, neither.

210
00:08:21,778 --> 00:08:23,911
But I gots to act fast
as I noticed the degens

211
00:08:23,945 --> 00:08:26,745
from up country are having
the same ideas as me.

212
00:08:26,778 --> 00:08:28,945
So I smash the sammich
into my face, walk on over

213
00:08:28,978 --> 00:08:30,745
to where Pitter Paddy's
lying on the floor

214
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,145
like a melted snowman
and I picks him up

215
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,445
and makes him my own.

216
00:08:47,351 --> 00:08:49,284
Now, I will admit
this was fulfilling

217
00:08:49,318 --> 00:08:51,284
somewhat of
a childhood dreams for me,

218
00:08:51,318 --> 00:08:54,184
but what happens next
was more of a fantasy.

219
00:08:54,218 --> 00:08:55,918
I'm sure you guys
know that furry material

220
00:08:55,951 --> 00:08:58,384
does about as much
to hide a boner as spandex,

221
00:08:58,418 --> 00:09:00,218
so I was approaching
big troubles in little China,

222
00:09:00,251 --> 00:09:01,818
but not exactly
complaining about it.

223
00:09:03,118 --> 00:09:04,418
I just wish
it had been the thunders

224
00:09:04,451 --> 00:09:05,884
from down unders
that ruined the party,

225
00:09:05,918 --> 00:09:08,251
because what came next
was certainly unwelcome.

226
00:09:08,284 --> 00:09:11,318
Sammy Sammich, the mascot
of Sammy's Sammiches,

227
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,984
he comes running over
and he's fuming pissed.

228
00:09:14,018 --> 00:09:15,151
And I can understands why.

229
00:09:15,184 --> 00:09:16,951
I'm over here getting
hugs and tickles

230
00:09:16,984 --> 00:09:18,751
from pretty gals,
while he's standing there

231
00:09:18,784 --> 00:09:20,751
holding a tray of sammiches
like a nut sack.

232
00:09:20,784 --> 00:09:22,384
Now I see he's got
a confrontational look

233
00:09:22,418 --> 00:09:23,818
in his eyes and the scowl mask

234
00:09:23,851 --> 00:09:25,184
doesn't exactly
do much to stifles it.

235
00:09:25,218 --> 00:09:26,518
And me being no pushover,

236
00:09:26,551 --> 00:09:28,218
I'm not about
to be stared down.

237
00:09:28,251 --> 00:09:30,184
So I return the glare,
which produces us

238
00:09:30,218 --> 00:09:33,018
into one bona fide
stink‐eye stand‐off.

239
00:09:33,051 --> 00:09:34,451
Then,
quick as a kitten queef,

240
00:09:34,484 --> 00:09:36,151
the fucking sandwich
tray goes flying,

241
00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:37,118
pot of gold's up in the air

242
00:09:37,151 --> 00:09:39,118
<i>and Sammy Sammich</i>
<i>spears me to the floor.</i>

243
00:09:41,051 --> 00:09:41,884
You would have
thought security

244
00:09:41,918 --> 00:09:43,251
would have broken it up,

245
00:09:43,284 --> 00:09:44,784
but Reilly and Jonesy
just stood there

246
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:45,984
like a bunch of
ten‐ply halfwits

247
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:48,451
sniffing each other's farts.

248
00:09:48,484 --> 00:09:50,418
I'm about to tap out
like a fucking sally

249
00:09:50,451 --> 00:09:52,818
when out of nowhere
Legen‐Dary comes swooping in

250
00:09:52,851 --> 00:09:54,784
and lays the beats down
on Sammy Sammich.

251
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:02,918
It was entrancing.

252
00:10:02,951 --> 00:10:05,051
I's was spellbound.

253
00:10:05,084 --> 00:10:07,284
Legen‐Dary saved the day.

254
00:10:07,318 --> 00:10:09,318
And with Dary TCB'ing
quite handily,

255
00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:12,018
I gathered up my hat
and my green suckers,

256
00:10:12,051 --> 00:10:14,218
and it was backs
to business as usual.

257
00:10:14,251 --> 00:10:15,418
‐No.
‐Hard yes.

258
00:10:15,451 --> 00:10:17,451
‐Confirmed?
‐So they tell me.

259
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,318
‐Where were you?
‐Out having a dart likely.

260
00:10:19,351 --> 00:10:20,151
With who?

261
00:10:22,018 --> 00:10:24,084
McMurray, how are you now?

262
00:10:24,118 --> 00:10:26,351
‐Good and you?
‐Not so bad.

263
00:10:26,384 --> 00:10:29,518
‐Hear about Sammy Sammich?
‐No.

264
00:10:29,551 --> 00:10:31,751
Well, he's in there starting
scraps with everyone.

265
00:10:31,784 --> 00:10:32,684
I suppose that's appropriate

266
00:10:32,718 --> 00:10:34,184
on account of the scowl
he's always wearing.

267
00:10:35,418 --> 00:10:36,918
‐That's true.
‐Like, it's not

268
00:10:36,951 --> 00:10:37,851
as if you'd expect
him to be in there

269
00:10:37,884 --> 00:10:39,318
kissing babies and such.

270
00:10:39,351 --> 00:10:40,484
It's not his fault.
It's these degens

271
00:10:40,518 --> 00:10:42,218
from up country, Wayne.

272
00:10:42,251 --> 00:10:44,518
They have a negative effect
on everyone and everything.

273
00:10:44,551 --> 00:10:46,018
They take
a beautifully crafted

274
00:10:46,884 --> 00:10:48,318
Floral Embrace bouquet,

275
00:10:48,351 --> 00:10:51,451
this European Fields
of Romance bouquet,

276
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,018
this Abundant Love
of Mothers bouquet

277
00:10:54,051 --> 00:10:55,818
and they've swapped it out
with a big, fat, slobbery,

278
00:10:55,851 --> 00:10:57,418
wet shit in a vase.

279
00:10:57,451 --> 00:10:58,351
I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about, bud.

280
00:10:58,384 --> 00:10:59,784
They're ruining everything.

281
00:10:59,818 --> 00:11:01,284
I'm not so sure
we've entered that realm yet.

282
00:11:01,318 --> 00:11:03,918
Well, we are on
the doorstep, big boy.

283
00:11:03,951 --> 00:11:06,384
We are first cousin to it.

284
00:11:06,418 --> 00:11:08,884
We are a c‐hair away
from sheer disaster.

285
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,484
Well, I seen Bonnie
and Mrs. McMurray in there

286
00:11:10,518 --> 00:11:11,818
having a decent time.

287
00:11:12,851 --> 00:11:14,484
‐What?
‐I guess so long

288
00:11:14,518 --> 00:11:15,918
as most people are having fun

289
00:11:15,951 --> 00:11:17,084
there ain't no reason
to be a poopy pants.

290
00:11:18,318 --> 00:11:19,784
I'm going
to get them immediately.

291
00:11:19,818 --> 00:11:20,984
Security's shit‐faced.

292
00:11:21,018 --> 00:11:22,218
Good enough.

293
00:11:22,251 --> 00:11:24,284
Bonnie!

294
00:11:24,318 --> 00:11:26,918
Fucking big
city titties, boys.

295
00:11:26,951 --> 00:11:28,318
Night of our titties, boys.

296
00:11:28,351 --> 00:11:30,418
You know
about fucking nothing.

297
00:11:31,918 --> 00:11:33,851
Bardownskis.

298
00:11:33,884 --> 00:11:35,118
Bardownskis love it.

299
00:11:35,151 --> 00:11:36,284
Dig deep, Meryl Streep.

300
00:11:36,318 --> 00:11:38,018
Love Daryl Streep!

301
00:11:38,051 --> 00:11:40,884
I love Meryl Streep
in The Devil Wears Prada.

302
00:11:40,918 --> 00:11:43,118
‐Stanley Tucci!
‐Boys, boys, boys!

303
00:11:45,251 --> 00:11:46,418
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

304
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,118
‐Dan, how's your beer?
‐I'd have a beer.

305
00:12:00,151 --> 00:12:01,784
‐Dary, how's your beer?
‐I'd have a beer.

306
00:12:01,818 --> 00:12:02,918
‐I'd have a beer.
‐Won't ask how your beer's

307
00:12:02,951 --> 00:12:05,084
doing then.

308
00:12:05,118 --> 00:12:06,484
I can't believe
I got into a fight.

309
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,451
Can you believe you got
into a second fight?

310
00:12:08,484 --> 00:12:10,218
‐No.
‐That's a Texas‐sized 10‐4,

311
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,984
‐good buddy.
‐The second fight

312
00:12:12,018 --> 00:12:15,284
is what spelled
stage two for Legen‐Dary.

313
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,184
(CHUCKLES)
Well, Pitter‐Patter.

314
00:12:17,218 --> 00:12:19,218
Well, I'll cater to old
poopy pants back there

315
00:12:19,251 --> 00:12:20,884
and give you guys
a bit of a back story.

316
00:12:20,918 --> 00:12:22,851
‐We're all familiar with Lent?
‐Yeah.

317
00:12:22,884 --> 00:12:24,418
‐No.
‐So it's fucking

318
00:12:24,451 --> 00:12:26,318
‐Sunday school now, Katy?
‐Lent is a 40‐day season

319
00:12:26,351 --> 00:12:28,851
of the year where Christians
try to get closer to God

320
00:12:28,884 --> 00:12:31,051
by praying and not eating
or getting hammered.

321
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,118
Fasting is what it's called.
It's called fasting.

322
00:12:33,151 --> 00:12:34,784
Christians are encouraged
to give something up for Lent.

323
00:12:34,818 --> 00:12:36,151
And I thought
that was kind of nice.

324
00:12:36,184 --> 00:12:38,018
And, you know,
with spring break coming up

325
00:12:38,051 --> 00:12:39,851
and all, I thought
that I would give up sex.

326
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,118
That's too much fucking info.

327
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:42,218
Too much of anything
isn't good for you.

328
00:12:42,251 --> 00:12:43,951
Even apples.

329
00:12:43,984 --> 00:12:45,451
I've never heard that argument
about mixing a batch.

330
00:12:45,484 --> 00:12:47,851
However, St. Patrick's Day

331
00:12:47,884 --> 00:12:49,218
falls within
the 40 days of Lent

332
00:12:49,251 --> 00:12:51,318
and Lenten restrictions
are lifted for the day.

333
00:12:51,351 --> 00:12:53,018
You're not even
a fucking Christian, Katy.

334
00:12:53,051 --> 00:12:53,851
Well, who's got
that kind of money?

335
00:12:53,884 --> 00:12:57,284
‐Well played.
‐So, I went to get laid.

336
00:12:59,184 --> 00:12:59,984
(MUSIC PLAYING)

337
00:14:33,384 --> 00:14:35,318
(SIGHS) Legendary.

338
00:14:35,351 --> 00:14:37,051
You know, you're really good
at making an entrance, Katy.

339
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,784
And that's what
I appreciates about you.

340
00:14:38,818 --> 00:14:40,184
Is that what you...

341
00:14:40,218 --> 00:14:41,451
No, that makes sense.

342
00:14:41,484 --> 00:14:43,118
Why don't you take about
five percent off her

343
00:14:43,151 --> 00:14:45,384
‐over there, Squirrelly Dan.
‐Yeah, no, that's fair.

344
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,318
Well, you had Sammy Sammich
all locked up

345
00:14:47,351 --> 00:14:49,184
in a Texas cloverleaf,
which of course is not

346
00:14:49,218 --> 00:14:51,284
to be confused with
the Scorpions Deathlock.

347
00:14:51,318 --> 00:14:52,984
I'm not sure
I know what that is.

348
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,151
What, the Texas cloverleaf
or the Scorpions Deathlock?

349
00:14:55,184 --> 00:14:56,884
Well, either.

350
00:14:56,918 --> 00:14:58,884
You're interplanetary, bud.

351
00:14:58,918 --> 00:15:00,818
‐Really?
‐So they tell me.

352
00:15:00,851 --> 00:15:01,751
‐Where were you?
‐Well, out having

353
00:15:01,784 --> 00:15:03,184
‐a dart likely.
‐With who?

354
00:15:06,451 --> 00:15:08,118
McMurray, how are you now?

355
00:15:08,151 --> 00:15:11,284
‐Shit. And you?
‐Well, not so bad.

356
00:15:11,318 --> 00:15:14,118
I can't take it, Wayne.
I've had it. I've had it.

357
00:15:14,151 --> 00:15:16,851
Fuck, you've been into
the Irish whiskey, eh, bud?

358
00:15:16,884 --> 00:15:18,884
‐Scotch. I'm Scottish.
‐Well, sure you are.

359
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,018
Scottish and Serbian.

360
00:15:22,918 --> 00:15:24,318
Say, you ever heard
of that song by Rihanna

361
00:15:24,351 --> 00:15:26,151
called Disturbia?

362
00:15:26,184 --> 00:15:27,318
You mean, "Number one

363
00:15:27,351 --> 00:15:29,151
"on the U. S. Billboard Top 100

364
00:15:29,184 --> 00:15:30,218
"for two consecutive weeks"
Disturbia?

365
00:15:30,251 --> 00:15:31,484
‐Yeah.
‐You mean "People's Choice

366
00:15:31,518 --> 00:15:32,751
"For Favorite Pop Song"
Disturbia?

367
00:15:32,784 --> 00:15:34,784
‐Yeah.
‐Recorded for the 2008

368
00:15:34,818 --> 00:15:36,751
album, Good Girl
Gone Bad: Reloaded,

369
00:15:36,784 --> 00:15:38,784
which was a re‐release
of the Barbadian pop star's

370
00:15:38,818 --> 00:15:40,118
third studio album,

371
00:15:40,151 --> 00:15:41,451
Good Girl Gone Bad,
Disturbia?

372
00:15:41,484 --> 00:15:42,518
Yeah.

373
00:15:42,551 --> 00:15:44,184
I think I might
have some idea.

374
00:15:44,218 --> 00:15:45,384
So don't you think
it would be kind of funny

375
00:15:45,418 --> 00:15:46,318
if Weird Al
or someone like that

376
00:15:46,351 --> 00:15:48,951
did a version
of it called, <i>In Serbia?</i>

377
00:15:50,318 --> 00:15:52,084
Okay. How would that go?

378
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,884
Well, like, instead of
singing "Disturbia,"

379
00:15:53,918 --> 00:15:55,418
you'd sing "In Serbia."

380
00:15:56,918 --> 00:15:59,151
Okay.

381
00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:00,918
Like, you'd pretty near have
to shoot a music video

382
00:16:00,951 --> 00:16:02,451
in Serbia to really
drive home that joke.

383
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,051
You think that would be funny?

384
00:16:05,084 --> 00:16:06,484
Yeah, I think
it could be pretty funny.

385
00:16:06,518 --> 00:16:09,318
Can't take it, Wayne. Can't.

386
00:16:09,351 --> 00:16:11,284
Ready to snap
and ready to fucking lose it.

387
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:12,984
A glass of water, bit of
fresh air, that'll do it.

388
00:16:13,018 --> 00:16:14,451
Not that, Wayne,
it's them degens

389
00:16:14,484 --> 00:16:16,051
from up country
coming down here

390
00:16:16,084 --> 00:16:18,151
and showing no respect
at our St. Paddy's Day party.

391
00:16:18,184 --> 00:16:20,151
Well, to be fair,
our St. Patrick's Day party

392
00:16:20,184 --> 00:16:22,084
shows no respect
for St. Patrick.

393
00:16:22,118 --> 00:16:24,851
Not just that.
I can't find Mrs. McMurray.

394
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,384
You wanna know what,
so long as everyone's

395
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,084
having a good time, ain't no
reason to be a poopy pants.

396
00:16:28,118 --> 00:16:31,018
Everyone is not
having a good time.

397
00:16:31,051 --> 00:16:32,951
Well, so long as most people
are having a good time,

398
00:16:32,984 --> 00:16:34,484
ain't no reason
to be a poopy pants.

399
00:16:34,518 --> 00:16:36,418
Most people are
not having a good time.

400
00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:39,418
Is anyone having a good time?

401
00:16:40,518 --> 00:16:41,351
No.

402
00:16:43,451 --> 00:16:46,151
Then I shall be a poopy pants.

403
00:16:46,184 --> 00:16:47,918
Do you wanna know what?

404
00:16:47,951 --> 00:16:51,184
I think I got a solution
to serve all parties involved.

405
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,418
‐Yeah?
‐Do you know why

406
00:16:52,451 --> 00:16:53,851
we celebrate
St. Patrick's Day?

407
00:16:53,884 --> 00:16:55,384
No. I'm Scottish.

408
00:16:55,418 --> 00:16:56,484
It's to celebrate St. Patrick

409
00:16:56,518 --> 00:16:58,318
bringing Christianity
to Ireland

410
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,884
and driving out
the druid priests

411
00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:01,451
or "the snakes."

412
00:17:01,484 --> 00:17:03,151
And why would he do that?

413
00:17:03,184 --> 00:17:05,284
Well, to separate the bad
from the good, essentially.

414
00:17:05,318 --> 00:17:06,884
Sounds like a pretty good guy.

415
00:17:06,918 --> 00:17:08,251
So, what say
we honor St. Patrick

416
00:17:08,284 --> 00:17:11,318
while also serving our own
St. Patrick's Day agenda

417
00:17:11,351 --> 00:17:14,784
and drive the snakes
out of Letterkenny?

418
00:17:14,818 --> 00:17:18,284
You mean the degens
from up country?

419
00:17:18,318 --> 00:17:20,318
Let's hope they got their
jammie jams on, good buddy.

420
00:17:22,784 --> 00:17:23,784
(MUSIC PLAYING)

421
00:19:33,984 --> 00:19:34,784
(INAUDIBLE)

422
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:01,384
You are a fucking
legend, Dary.

423
00:20:01,418 --> 00:20:03,284
He's Legen‐Dary.

424
00:20:03,318 --> 00:20:04,751
Guess we really
fucked that pig.

425
00:20:04,784 --> 00:20:06,784
Well, I don't think we've seen
the last of degens

426
00:20:06,818 --> 00:20:07,884
from up country.

427
00:20:07,918 --> 00:20:09,118
Good! (EXCLAIMS)

428
00:20:09,151 --> 00:20:11,318
Door's wide open!

429
00:20:11,351 --> 00:20:13,184
Door's always open!

430
00:20:13,218 --> 00:20:16,851
But at least we did
well by St. Patrick.

431
00:20:16,884 --> 00:20:18,984
And even more importantly,
by our own.

432
00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:21,751
(COUGHS)

433
00:20:21,784 --> 00:20:23,351
‐Breakfast?
‐After choring.

434
00:20:23,384 --> 00:20:24,984
‐I'll go make some Caesars.
‐Well...

435
00:20:26,118 --> 00:20:28,251
‐Who's choring?
‐I'll chore.

436
00:20:28,284 --> 00:20:30,184
All right, Squirrelly Dan,
more hands make less work.

437
00:20:30,218 --> 00:20:32,218
I'm coming. I just need
a moments to reflect.

438
00:20:48,018 --> 00:20:50,218
‐WAYNE: Squirrelly Dan!
‐Yeah, no, I'm coming!

439
00:20:50,251 --> 00:20:51,184
Whoo‐hoo.

440
00:20:54,951 --> 00:20:57,184
(MUSIC PLAYING)