1 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:12,909 You were having a Puppers with your pals the other day... 2 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,716 Too much Instagrams'll make your eyes go square, Dary. 3 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,949 - I'm workin' here. - Oh, Dary's like a blister. 4 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,718 He only shows up when the work's all done. 5 00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:21,693 It's not Instagram. I'm flippin' through Twitter. 6 00:00:21,721 --> 00:00:24,261 Well, less doin' tweets, more pullin' teats, bud. 7 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,588 Speaking of teats, you guys heard about 8 00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:29,357 this Twitter account called Gay Hooters? 9 00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:33,404 Gay Hooters? 10 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:34,573 Gay Hooters. 11 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,871 But-- Gay Hooters? 12 00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:40,044 Well, that's what I said. I said, Gay Hooters. 13 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:41,643 Is that right? 14 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,438 Guess I'm just sorta wonderin' 15 00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:44,806 what Gay Hooters would be all about? 16 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,478 Well, if I was to make an educated guesstimation, 17 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,577 I'd have to say it's like the controversial yet famous 18 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,487 American restaurant franchise Hooters, 19 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:53,892 except for gay guys. 20 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,660 So, it's like a Hooters, 21 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,163 but marketed to gay men aged 18-35? 22 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,455 Boy howdies! 23 00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:02,063 I guess I just got a few more questions though. 24 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:03,995 Well, you're handy as a shirt pocket, bud. 25 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,934 Well, all I'm wondering is, like... 26 00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:10,637 what do a group of gay men have to enjoy about Hooters? 27 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:12,340 We's talkin' the restaurants or the body parts? 28 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,665 - Here we go now. - Well, no. 29 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,310 I'm just thinkin' it sounds a little bit queer-- 30 00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:16,911 Easy, tiger! 31 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:19,513 --that you would have to sell the gay community on Hooters? 32 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,649 Sell? Sold. 33 00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:24,181 - Huh? - Gay dudes love tits. 34 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,190 - Is that right? - Most of us, yeah. 35 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,422 - Well, to be fairs-- - (Mockingly) To be fair-- 36 00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:29,785 - To be fair-- - To be fair-- 37 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,263 ♪ To be fair, yeah ♪ 38 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,131 (In deep British accent) To be fair... 39 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,689 it's hard to imagine anyone not likin' 'em, 40 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,361 no matter which ways you points your sexuals compass. 41 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,700 So, you guys love tits as much as you love dinks? 42 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,836 Fuck, no! We're straight guy gay. 43 00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:44,138 Strictly guy gay, for clarificaysh. 44 00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,640 Gettin' good and gay in guy gash. 45 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:48,042 - Smashin' silly ass. - Gettin' kinky with the dinky. 46 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,378 Gettin' stinky with the dinky. 47 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:50,842 In sync. With dink. 48 00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:53,677 - Is that right? - But you also love tits. 49 00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:54,883 What's not to love? 50 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,978 Yeah, lots of gay dudes secretly love tits. 51 00:01:57,016 --> 00:02:00,216 Big, bouncy, fun-lovin', party time tits. 52 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,886 Big ol' buoyant, jubly, sloppy egg yolk knocks. 53 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,827 Bounce those snake-eyed humpty dumplings over here, 54 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:06,859 honey, let's have a good one. 55 00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:08,733 Talkin' Bobbsey Twin baby thumpers 56 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,155 rubber baby buggy bumpers. 57 00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,496 Is that right? 58 00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:13,972 I think I have an idea. 59 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,370 Well, you might as well gets 'em all outs on the table. 60 00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:17,572 What if-- okay, 61 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,807 what if the food was also gay? 62 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,840 Oh, I got Professor Tricia on speed dial 63 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,306 ready for this hot takes. 64 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:25,984 No, no, hear him out. 65 00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:28,752 Okay, so, the chickens that you get the chicken wings from, 66 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,645 what if they were also gay chickens? 67 00:02:30,683 --> 00:02:31,923 A boy chicken's called a cock. 68 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,385 So, what you're suggesting is that Gay Hooters 69 00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:36,720 is a place for mens to go eat gay cocks. 70 00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:38,086 BOTH: In. 71 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,088 Free-range chickens is hard enough to breeds. 72 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,330 Yeah, so it would be a Hooters restaurant 73 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:46,432 marketed to gay men aged 18-35 where they could go 74 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,829 and enjoy some fried food, 75 00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,937 but also some eye-level eye candy. 76 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,603 I'd rather have a dog's eye view. 77 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:52,771 Dog's eye view of a dink. 78 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,439 - Dink's eye view. - Dink in the eye. 79 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,207 In sync with dink. 80 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,614 Oh, is that right? 81 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:02,249 (Theme song playing) 82 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:08,716 ♪ 83 00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:10,285 Did yous hear Sir Bill's closed? 84 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:13,226 Oh, bother. Well, there's nothin' worse 85 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,599 than a mom and pop shop goin' under in a small town. 86 00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:16,728 KATY: Why'd they bust? 87 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:17,963 Sir Bill's was the best breakfast-- 88 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,701 - Attaboy. --in Letterkenny, 89 00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:21,472 until MoDean's started serving brunch. 90 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,044 Now nobody goes to Sir Bill's. 91 00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:25,139 I heard some talk that they was late payin' their merchants. 92 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,405 Well, late payment's the first sign you're goin' tits up. 93 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,880 See, I always thought that MoDean's and Sir Bill's should combine. 94 00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:33,380 Breakfast spot by day, bang-up spot by night. 95 00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:34,583 Woulda, shoulda, coulda. 96 00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:35,924 If "ifs" and "buts" were candies and nuts. 97 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,549 Not much room for competition in a small town. 98 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:39,585 You need customer loyalty. 99 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,049 (Scoffing) Loyalty, eh? 100 00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:43,317 I said it wrong, didn't I? 101 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:44,659 Loyalty is two things: 102 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,134 number A, a crucial practice in any relationship 103 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,160 and number B, a fuckin' dying art. 104 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,169 Well, Gail's gonna need our loyalty because I heard 105 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,472 there is one of those big city chain restaurants moving in. 106 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,800 Oh! Harvey's? 107 00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:57,966 No. 108 00:03:58,004 --> 00:03:59,774 - Tacso Bells? - Nope. 109 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,766 - St. Hubert? - Nope. 110 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,278 It's one of those places that's always on 111 00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:05,309 about their casual fine dining. (Smarmy chuckling) 112 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:06,445 ALL: Ew. 113 00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:07,979 It's one of those places that focuses 114 00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:10,854 on upscale comfort food. (Chuckling) 115 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,447 ALL: Ew. 116 00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:14,585 One of those places that's always on about their gastro fare. 117 00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:15,591 ALL: Ew! 118 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:18,462 Although, there are, um, 119 00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:22,431 there are, um, perks to those sorts of places? 120 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:25,202 (Giggling) 121 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,965 Some might say... (Giggling) 122 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,200 ...the perkiest! 123 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,668 It's wheres you go if you like some perkies! 124 00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:32,043 Yous are degens. 125 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,105 - Breastaurants. - BOYS: Yoo! 126 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,780 One of those places where you're not payin' for the G&T, 127 00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,139 you're paying for the T&A. 128 00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:39,707 Short skirts, full bras, can't lose. 129 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,649 - That's their motto! - Grow up. 130 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,151 With all due respect, Miss Katy, 131 00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:45,052 Professor Tricia says it's perfectly ethical 132 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,018 for womens to be as sexual as they want, 133 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,623 including wearing clothes what makes them feel powerful. 134 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:50,986 It's not the women who work there 135 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,334 that I have a problem with. 136 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,158 They can get theirs, and I am here for it. 137 00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:57,463 It's the leering men that really chap my ass. 138 00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:58,527 The male gaze. 139 00:04:58,564 --> 00:05:01,134 Male gays? You mean like Dax and Ron? 140 00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,067 Fuck, you are on fuckin' fire, eh? 141 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,836 I've got more time for clogged toilets. 142 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,341 - Where you goin'? - To be a loyal customer. 143 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,738 Yous wanna go be loyal customers? 144 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,239 I'ds be a loyal customer. 145 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,411 I'm surprised we're not being loyal customers right now. 146 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,680 To MoDean's! 147 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,716 (Dance music playing) 148 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:21,049 Stewart! 149 00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:23,487 Have you heard this new Neapolitan funk compilation? 150 00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:27,531 (Gagging noises) 151 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,660 (Coughing) 152 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,373 You phonographic Philistine! 153 00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:36,938 Neapolitan funk was yesteryear's genre. 154 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,043 You know very well that I am fully immersed 155 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,612 in the Nigerian Neurofolk movement. 156 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,743 But I thought that you said Neapolitan funk was 157 00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:44,935 the sound of the revolution because it blended in 158 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,681 perfectly with your Baile funk collection? 159 00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:50,083 You're thinking Baggy Trance and Biafra Psychobilly, Roald! 160 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,286 Is Baggy Trance the one that's heavily influenced 161 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,592 by mid-century word jazz-- (Stammering) 162 00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:56,920 --and the Hungarian underground top 40? 163 00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,356 (Incredulous wheezing laughter) 164 00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:01,592 I'm gonna pretend you didn't even say that. 165 00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:05,127 You can't be mad at me for not being up on your weapons as of late. 166 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,698 I mean, you haven't DJ'd a gig in what feels like years. 167 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,370 (Grunting) 168 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,412 (Sputtering) 169 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,110 I am fully aware of my dry spell, Roald. 170 00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:22,817 However, I plan to be the pole holding up the circus tent 171 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,122 at Letterkenny's latest venue... 172 00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,551 the breastaurant. 173 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:27,716 I love tits. 174 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:30,324 Just imagine all the ground-breaking styles 175 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,290 I can literally bring to the tables 176 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,985 of the masticating masses beyond the standard, 177 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,801 bland restaurantica. 178 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:41,099 You are ten times the fyah selectah of any restaurant DJ. 179 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,674 I mean, half of them think it's still 2005 180 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,406 and play mashups. 181 00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:46,908 (All gagging) 182 00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:50,509 Mashups are a cardinal sin in the DJ realm. 183 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:54,276 I have no time for MP3s titled Fleetwood Macklemore. 184 00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:56,183 Or the Rolling Stone Roses. 185 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,849 Meredith Brooks N Dunn. 186 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,517 Barry White Zombie. 187 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:00,585 James Taylor Swift. 188 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,420 KC and the Sunshine Band of Horses. 189 00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:03,515 Olivia Newton John Mayer. 190 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,429 Rage Against the Miami Sound Machine. 191 00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:07,428 Rage Against Florence and the Machine. 192 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,998 Fugazi Osbourne. 193 00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,759 Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Phantom Planet. 194 00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,098 I Mother Earth, Wind & Fire. 195 00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:14,532 30 Seconds to Bruno Mars! 196 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,700 Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Yeah Yeahs. 197 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:17,999 Busta Leann Rimes. 198 00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:19,137 Faith Hill No More. 199 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,672 George Michael Bublé. 200 00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:21,936 Seven Mary 311. 201 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:23,484 The Pointer Sisters of Mercy. 202 00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:25,209 Slick Rick Ross. 203 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,508 Simply Red Hot Chili Peppers. 204 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:30,547 - To the breastaurant! - I love tits! 205 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,648 It's a decent sando, buddy. 206 00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:35,016 Convo ends at decent, bro. 207 00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:36,624 Yeah, well, beats doing Squat Speedmans. 208 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,286 Anything's better than Squat Weilands. 209 00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:39,894 - Squatty Bowmans. - Harry Squatter. 210 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,229 Squat Stevens. 211 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,864 You hear about that breastaurant opening, buddy? 212 00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:45,055 Gonna be some top-line snipes working there, buddy. 213 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,801 Top six for sure, buddy. 214 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,573 You know what I'm secretly even more excited for though, buddy? 215 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:50,835 What's that, bro? 216 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,540 - (Whispers) Big city sandos! - Top cheddar? 217 00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:53,872 Top Swiss! 218 00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:55,236 You know what they call arugula in England, buddy? 219 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,338 BOTH: Rocket! 220 00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:57,735 Not you, but you are a rocket. 221 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,080 NASA certified. 222 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,505 What about that big city bread? 223 00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:02,416 Oh, gotta celebrate the biscuit, buddy. 224 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,182 Gotta worship the focaccia! 225 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,247 A shrine to all twelve seeds and grains. 226 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,519 - Sauce me a pass, bro. - Pass me a sauce, buddy. 227 00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,924 - Little sriracha aioli? - Little truffle reduction? 228 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,530 - Li'l pesto mayo? - Li'l curry ketchup? 229 00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:16,659 A li'l spicy brown habanero dill mustard? Fuck! 230 00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:19,526 Mmm! Little piri-piri wasabi horseradish? Fuck! 231 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:29,243 - WAYNE: Gail, how are ya now? - Good 'n you? 232 00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:31,175 - Oh, not so bad. - 'Kay. 233 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,550 Don't love how quiet it is in here. 234 00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,108 Well, maybe you haven't heard. 235 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,280 Letterkenny has welcomed a breastaurant to town. 236 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,449 Yeah? That, uh... breastaurant? 237 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,289 It's about as welcome as an outhouse breeze. 238 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,194 You've got loyal customers for life in us. 239 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,422 You know that, right? 240 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:47,057 Yeah, but those citiots poached my best server. 241 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,633 ALL: Awww! 242 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,964 Bonnie McMurray! 243 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,530 I'm still working here! 244 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,765 But I'm working a double today... in two places. 245 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,470 - Judas. - We've all gotta make our paper, 246 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,207 and I'm not surprised they poached me. 247 00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:01,038 I have more savoir faire than anyone in town. 248 00:09:01,073 --> 00:09:02,073 (Mockingly) Savoir faire. 249 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,308 - Savoir fwair. - Savoir faire! 250 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,606 (Mumbling) Suvuh faiyah. 251 00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,484 Does ya really wanna works at a place like that 252 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,076 that's gonna exploits ya, though, Bonnies? 253 00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:10,484 Can't exploit me if I volunteer, bud. Tips. 254 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,390 Do you really want guys leering at you all night long 255 00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:13,718 while you're trying to do work? 256 00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:16,123 How's that any different than being around you two, 257 00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:18,115 or how Gail exploits Wayne around here? 258 00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:21,157 What Wayne and I have is a sacred bond 259 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,397 between bartender and customer! 260 00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:26,499 And sometimes my weighted body pillow. 261 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,996 Yawn. 262 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:31,167 I heard those places takes part in bad business practices. 263 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,667 Likes to avoid payin' severances, 264 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,938 they'll just keeps givin' ya bad shifts until ya quits 265 00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:36,514 rather than fires ya. 266 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,406 I'd never fire anyone for anything I wouldn't do. 267 00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:40,354 ROSIE: Some blonde uptown just tried to recruit me. 268 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,013 KATY: To work at the breastaurant? 269 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,821 - For what reason? - I'll give ya two. 270 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:45,119 Fair. 271 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,851 Gotta go. 272 00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:49,863 - Hmm, I don't leer. - Buddy, you're King Leer. 273 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:50,962 You're Leer as Folk. 274 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:52,260 You're Leer and Present Danger. 275 00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:53,661 Nothin' to leers but leers itself. 276 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:54,763 Leers for Fears. 277 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,864 - I don't leer! - Leer down, big rig! 278 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,037 Behold! 279 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:06,312 Your new lounge leader of late night happy hour. 280 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,539 - It's happy hour. - Mia-- 281 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,708 (Clearing throat) --Sofia? 282 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,376 Low-rent Gerard Way? 283 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,205 You manage the breastaurant? 284 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,220 That term is offensive, you queerbait. 285 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,782 (Squealing) 286 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:20,047 Just gonna just let that one hang in the air for a minute. 287 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,149 You, uh-- (Awkward chuckling) 288 00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,458 --you look pretty hot. 289 00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:26,059 Thank you. You been, uh, working out? 290 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,125 Actually, I-- 291 00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:28,229 Just kidding, I don't give a fuck. 292 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:31,064 (Growling) 293 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,230 You have just fallen backwards 294 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,829 into catching the luckiest of breaks. 295 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:37,797 I have arrived to grace your establishment 296 00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:40,337 with my Ibiza-level talents on the ones and twos. 297 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:41,743 The hiring process is over 298 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,237 and that's not how you pronounce Ibiza. 299 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,239 You should 'I-bee-tha' so lucky 300 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,251 to have Stewart drop waxed science 301 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,823 upon the patrons of your Straight Hooters. 302 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:51,349 Fine. Résumé. 303 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,594 (Both scoffing dramatically, repeatedly) 304 00:10:57,857 --> 00:11:01,487 Never have I once been asked for my credentials! 305 00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:04,357 The nerve of requiring a paper defence of my title as-- 306 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,767 Best DJ in Letterkenny! (Mimicking echoing) 307 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,602 Letterkenny is minor league, bud. 308 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,268 You're up against city talent here. 309 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,596 Do you have a SoundCloud at least? 310 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:15,541 (Scoffing) We only post our mixes on the dark web. 311 00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:18,684 Hmm. Beat it, Chemical Sisters. 312 00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:21,952 Let's go, girls. 313 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:25,354 Your problematic language is going to show up in my Yelp review. 314 00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:27,254 Buddy, I know we've already expressed 315 00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:29,286 our mutual excitement for the big city sandos. 316 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,115 However, I fear we'd be remiss 317 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,630 if we forgot to circle back on the... 318 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,732 - Slams? - The big city slams. 319 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,030 You know what I'm like, secretly most excited for? 320 00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,203 What's that, buddy? 321 00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,300 The toilets. 322 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,095 Oh, first class shitters, bro. 323 00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:43,243 Floor to ceiling doors on the stalls. 324 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,099 Sports page above the pisser. 325 00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:46,537 Exotic foot flush buttons. 326 00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:48,272 You know what I love doing at those pissers? 327 00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:49,577 (Giggling) I bet I know. 328 00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:52,808 That little game where you try-- 329 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,478 BOTH: --and melt all the ice in the urinal with your pee! 330 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,979 - 'Ferda. - 'Ferda! 331 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,150 Still though. There's gonna be some talent there tonight. 332 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,449 Great place to net a few. 333 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:02,957 You ever wheeled in a chain restaurant, buddy? 334 00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:05,158 Buddy, I've never not wheeled in a restaurant. 335 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,234 I wheeled a hostess before my seating pager even went off. 336 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:09,730 I wheeled a double-shifting server 337 00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,432 post zoo sticks with extra dip. 338 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,334 I wheeled a manager while she was rolling her loonies 339 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,469 for her cash out. 340 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,770 I diddled in a Golden Griddle. 341 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,301 I wheeled a Kelsey at a Kelsey's. 342 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:18,936 I wheeled a Casey at a Casey's. 343 00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,069 I fucked Bubba Gump at Bubba Gump's. 344 00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:23,438 Flagship store. 345 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,676 Bottomed my first top at IHOP. 346 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:25,984 Gobbled cock at Manchu Wok. 347 00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:27,781 Straight up the poolius at Orange Julius. 348 00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:29,483 You know I've fucked guys at Popeye's. 349 00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:31,345 Ripped a double choke-o at El Pollo Loco. 350 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,787 Raging bone at Cold Stone. 351 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,348 Took it in the back at Shake Shack. 352 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,690 Ever sucked willies at a Chili's? 353 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,455 Buddy, I've had Five Guys with a side of fries. 354 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:40,160 You see these thighs? Don't tell no lies. 355 00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:44,034 Have you guys ever heard of Gay Hooters? 356 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:47,466 Gettin' a wee bit nervous about tonight's crowd. 357 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,200 But there isn't one. 358 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:50,868 Fuckin' right you're on fire, eh. 359 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,366 I can't even understand the appeal 360 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,109 of opening a chain restaurant in Letterkenny. 361 00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:57,681 Maybe you should adjust, cousint'. 362 00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,850 Doing anything special besides Wing Wednesdays? 363 00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,109 Thirsty Thursday! 364 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:03,717 Get so drunk on Saturdays that I free pour. 365 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:04,783 That counts. 366 00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:05,847 Nah, these are the types of places 367 00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:08,615 that have nights like Frosé Friday. 368 00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:10,324 Oh, I love frosé beverages. 369 00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,516 I tell you what, 370 00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:15,027 they rock a Mozza Stick Monday, you rock a-- 371 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:16,230 Deep Fried Mushroom Monday. 372 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,225 Fuckin' eh! 373 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,396 You already do Thirsty Thursdays. 374 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,874 That's three nights right there. 375 00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,399 I do what I do! 376 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,067 My customers are loyal or they're not. 377 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,835 Hey, Gail, you know what I'm glad that you never do? 378 00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,340 - What? - On top of not asking customers, 379 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:28,673 "What are your big plans for the night?" 380 00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:30,337 while you're waiting for them to pay the bill. 381 00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,536 Worst. 382 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,077 (Quietly) Sometimes I'm excited to share. 383 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,175 (Chuckling) You never say-- 384 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:39,424 (Chuckling) You never say... 385 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,585 "How are the first few bites tasting?" 386 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,264 - Holy fuck. - Ugh! 387 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:45,162 - Like, holy fuck. - Yuck. 388 00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:47,661 (Quietly) Except for, maybe it's not tasting so good. 389 00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:50,103 You know what, there's somethin' real pervy 390 00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,262 about that word "taste". 391 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,931 McMurray pervy as I recall. 392 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,939 - Who could forgets? - It's just a word. 393 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,871 You think? 394 00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:00,613 You don't think it sounds a little bit pervy at all 395 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,043 to say, "And how are the first few bites tasting?" 396 00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:05,783 "Hey. Hey. 397 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,575 Everything tasting to your liking?" 398 00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:10,253 "I see you've had a taste. How was it?" 399 00:14:10,282 --> 00:14:12,382 "Couple bites there. How's it taste?" 400 00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,248 "Taste... good?" 401 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:16,386 "Oh, yeah. You like how it tastes?" 402 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,762 - Cheque please. - Sure thing. 403 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,360 What are your big plans for the night? 404 00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:21,031 Ugh! 405 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,702 Sasha and Dickweed. 406 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,740 Name me one other purveyor of the black wax 407 00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:33,709 who has such a glorious display of twelve inches. 408 00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:35,879 BOTH: The Phantom's Revenge. 409 00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:37,538 I think twelve inches is giving yourself 410 00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:39,036 a bit too much credit. 411 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:40,978 Hmm, no. No, it's actua-- 412 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,476 I wasn't talking to you, Fartboy Slim. 413 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,648 You are bitchier than I remember! 414 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,917 And you're uglier. 415 00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:49,791 Just lay your eyes upon this glorious crate! 416 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,062 (Grunting) 417 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:54,090 They are all rare white label bootlegs. 418 00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:57,496 We have the two-step garage remix of Melissa Etheridge. 419 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,333 Bobby McFerrin Live at Budokan. 420 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,768 Skrillex, early acoustic demo. 421 00:15:00,799 --> 00:15:02,399 There's a recording of Daft Punk 422 00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:03,844 literally playing at James Murphy's house. 423 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,073 - Chicago covering Boston. - Boston covering Toronto. 424 00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:07,335 Toronto covering Chicago! 425 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:08,836 Stop! Fuck, you guys sound 426 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,808 like a game of meth-head Cards Against Humanity. 427 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,283 Impressed? 428 00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:13,451 I wasn't even listening, 429 00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:14,849 but I noticed you have a case of vinyls. 430 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,454 Ugh! 431 00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:19,352 The plural of "vinyl" is vinyl. 432 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,988 - (Scoffs) It's not Lego. - Whatever. 433 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:24,191 We don't have turntables here. This isn't 1982. 434 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,186 You-- you don't have turntables? 435 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,488 (Scoffing) 436 00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:29,826 Uh, then what do your DJs use? - I don't know. 437 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,962 The one I hired brings in this circle contraption, 438 00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,697 the other just plays YouTube clips off her phone. 439 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,866 - Blasphemy. - Heresy! 440 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,295 I also checked out your online presence, you have none. 441 00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:39,537 Mm-hmm, but, um did you check the-- 442 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,135 BOTH: --dark web? 443 00:15:41,173 --> 00:15:43,383 Listen, there are two types of DJs you hire in this business. 444 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,282 Those who suck but bring people down, 445 00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:47,181 and those who don't suck and don't bring people down, 446 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:49,212 but keep people here. If you have big tits, 447 00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,881 and experience DJing in the city, even better. 448 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,791 Love that big city titty. 449 00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:55,319 What about itty-bitty city titty? 450 00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:56,494 BOTH: Pretty shitty. 451 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:59,062 Give me one good reason you won't hire me! 452 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,234 I've given several, but let's recap. 453 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,003 Big picture, you don't have followers, you don't have tits, 454 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:05,699 and you probably don't even do mashups. 455 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:07,071 - Ogh! - Ugh! 456 00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:10,202 I knew it, Ste-- I knew-- Stewart, I knew it! 457 00:16:10,235 --> 00:16:13,335 Probably looking for a little INXS-Club 7? 458 00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,872 Talk to me when you've got some Post Malonely Island. 459 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,578 A little Blink 182 Chainz? 460 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,384 Come back when you've got some KRS-One Direction. 461 00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:23,382 Maybe a little Stone Temple 21 Pilots? 462 00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:24,645 21 Savage Garden. 463 00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:26,353 (Mockingly) George Michael Bolton? 464 00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:28,315 Less talk, more Cat Power Stevens. 465 00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:30,424 - Uh, Lil Wayne Newton? - Halsey and Oates, bitch. 466 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:31,589 Cardi Beastie Boys? 467 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,357 Cardi B-52's! 468 00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:35,692 Alice In Chainsmokers? 469 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,098 Fall Out Boy George. 470 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,762 The Jackson 5 Seconds of Summer?! 471 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,001 - Cardi Beatles. - BOTH: Aggghh! 472 00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:48,536 Hoo, boy. 473 00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,214 You ever hoovered schneef in a restaurant? 474 00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:52,112 I've hoovered schneef at a Subway Samiches' 475 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:54,107 cuttin' it up with a fully stocked rewards card. 476 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,619 I've hoovered schneef and gone back for a fountain pop refill. 477 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,952 I've hoovered schneef off the middle buns of my Bigs Macs. 478 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,548 I've hoovered schneef off of a billfold 479 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:01,946 before payin' my tab. 480 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,121 I've hoovered schneefs off of the baby change station 481 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,689 in a handicap stall at an East Side Mario's in Etobicokes. 482 00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:07,925 I've hoovered gluten-free schneef. 483 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,360 I've hoovered ocean wise schneef. 484 00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,955 I've hoovered schneef at a Cactus Club in Saskatoon 485 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,631 and heard a fella in the next stall say, "Git it in ya." 486 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:15,970 Fuckin' degens. 487 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,565 Gailer, do lots of people hoover schneef in here? 488 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:22,314 I pour lamp oil on the tops of the toilet tanks before every shift. 489 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,944 If anyone dumps schneef on it, it dissolves instantly. 490 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,807 - Do you really? - She does. 491 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:30,319 I'm the only one who's gonna get your fucked up in here. 492 00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,622 "You" bein' the key word 493 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,720 'cause there ain't anyone else to serve. 494 00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:35,752 Guess my customers are as loyal as Sir Bill's. 495 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,118 REILLY: Hey, Gailer? 496 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:41,729 Is the kitchen still open? 497 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,960 The door is, the kitchen is! 498 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,996 Easton and Weston... I thought for sure 499 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,225 you'd be marching up skirt at the new place. 500 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,397 We were but we looked at their menu 501 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:51,666 and their sandos are $26. 502 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,667 Then share. 503 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,438 It said no sharing on the menu. 504 00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:56,283 Godless motherfuckers! 505 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,184 Madame Gail? 506 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,848 Don't call me a madam. 507 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,917 I don't run a brothel. Yet. 508 00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:10,122 - Ah. Sex. - Sex. 509 00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,185 We've brought you and your patrons 510 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:15,087 the finest of worldly songsmith selections. 511 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,427 What patrons? 512 00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:23,696 May we put them on in a chosen sequence anyway? 513 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,639 Sure. 514 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:28,371 ALL: Oh! Bonnie McMurray! 515 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,940 What it do, chicky-poo? 516 00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:32,535 They cut me. Bit of a disaster over there, actually. 517 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,111 They weren't prepared for the crowd. 518 00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:36,446 See, they're making fools of themselves over there, Gailer. 519 00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:38,522 So, everybody's leaving? 520 00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:40,150 You heard it here first. 521 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,885 (Chatter outside) 522 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:48,187 (Latin piano music playing) 523 00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,229 Guess I'm workin' a triple. 524 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,403 ♪ Arriba! ♪ 525 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:59,538 ♪ Mm, mm! Woooo! ♪ 526 00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:01,011 ♪ Tell me ♪ 527 00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:02,469 ♪ Tell me whatcha like ♪ 528 00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,078 ♪ Tell me whatcha ordered ♪ 529 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,583 ♪ Met a freak 'bout to bring her back to Georgia ♪ 530 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:07,905 ♪ Get her past the border ♪ 531 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,580 ♪ Might go down to Florida or to California ♪ 532 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:11,919 ♪ Smellin' my aroma ♪ 533 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,894 ♪ Niggas actin' like they really certified ♪ 534 00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:15,749 ♪ What? Show me your diploma ♪ 535 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,221 ♪ He's a goner ♪ 536 00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:18,916 ♪ Came from the city where they tote their hammers ♪ 537 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,531 ♪ Aim for the money, shit so bananas ♪ 538 00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:22,559 ♪ Pin a pic with the flow better hold the canvas ♪ 539 00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:24,864 ♪ Hit your girl from the back make her hold the candles ♪ 540 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:25,897 ♪ It's lit ♪ 541 00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,071 ♪ All the candles ♪ 542 00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:28,899 ♪ Whole neck shine like solar panels ♪ 543 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,844 ♪ Must see TV I control the channel ♪ 544 00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,839 ♪ I'm 'bout to make a film better hold the camera ♪ 545 00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,771 ♪ Like, whoa! Whoa! Whoa! ♪ 546 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,380 ♪ Pulled up with the whole gang ♪ 547 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,378 ♪ Everybody yell "go!" ♪ 548 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,010 ♪ Sprinkle my cheddar on the chips ♪ 549 00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:41,775 ♪ My wallet nah' yours ♪ 550 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,217 Sprinklin', sprinklin'! 551 00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:44,848 ♪ If your girl round me, sorry ♪ 552 00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:47,023 ♪ That mean that you lost her (that lost her) ♪ 553 00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:49,562 ♪ Aight money dance to the bank, my money do the salsa ♪ 554 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:50,918 ♪ Woo! It dance and it dance ♪ 555 00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:52,056 ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪ 556 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:53,530 ♪ It dance and it dance and it dance ♪ 557 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:54,529 Arriba! 558 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,890 ♪ It dance and it dance ♪ 559 00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,398 ♪ It dance and it dance and don't stop ♪ 560 00:19:57,429 --> 00:19:58,429 ♪ Whoa, whoa! It dance... ♪