1 00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:12,949 Your pal ran into your old flame the other day... 2 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,423 - Who? - Angie. - Who? Oh. 3 00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:17,448 - She was actin' different. - How was she's acting different? 4 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,617 I don't think you wanna know how she was acting different. 5 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:20,846 Wait. 6 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,093 Now, was she acting different 7 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,225 like I think she was acting different? 8 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:29,930 She was acting different exactly like you think she was acting different. 9 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:32,473 Oh, cripes! So, she was acting different just like-- 10 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,702 She was acting different like somebody who's gone traveling 11 00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:36,404 for the first time and then come home 12 00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:38,136 and is acting different. 13 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,274 ALL: Ugh! 14 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:41,266 Is there anything worse? 15 00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:42,577 Still born puppies... 16 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:43,979 and nothing else. 17 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,714 This might be the worst case I've ever seen. 18 00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:47,145 ALL: Ugh. 19 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,653 (English accent:) So, she's speaking 20 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,275 with a bit of an accent then, Dary? 21 00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:52,816 She came home speaking with a wee bit of an accent then? 22 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,646 (English accent:) Is it now like every statement ends 23 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,591 like it's a question then, Dary? 24 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,393 Everything she says is like it's a fucking question then, innit? 25 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:00,656 - Innit? - D'you know what I mean? 26 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,627 She using words like cheeky and bugger? 27 00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:05,503 Why, you cheeky bugger, then, Dary. 28 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:06,965 Oi, Dary, you cheeky bugger, 29 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,940 I haven't seen you in bloody minute, 'ave I? 30 00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:10,568 - Haven't I! - Has she gone mad? 31 00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:12,343 - Is she knackered? - Do y'know what I mean? 32 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,305 Is she saying things to you like, "Cheers, ring me, yeah?" 33 00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:17,181 (Regular voice:) No, she did not say "ring you". 34 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,853 (English accent:) D'you know what I mean? 35 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,182 (English accent:) Are you bothered? 36 00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:21,676 - I'm not bothered. - Aren't you? 37 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:22,848 - Innit? - Do you? - Don't I? 38 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,176 - Do we? - D'you know what I mean? 39 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,120 So, she watches TV on the telly then, yeah? 40 00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:29,522 Yeah. And her apartment is now referred to as her flat, yeah? 41 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,019 And instead of waiting in line, 42 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,191 she's waiting in the queue now, yeah? 43 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,459 She's waiting in the queue for the tube now, yeah? 44 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,855 She's waiting in the queue for the pub now, yeah? 45 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:41,301 waiting in the queue at the pub for a pint then, yeah? 46 00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:43,944 - D'you know what I mean? - Now, has she done 'Eye-beetha'? 47 00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:45,970 Yeah, Dary, has she done 'Ih-Beetza'? 48 00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:48,875 - 'Oi-beefa'. - Has she done 'Bah-tha-lowna'? 49 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,042 Yeah, Dary, has she done 'Bawf-a-rowna'? 50 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,211 - 'Baw-tha-luna'. - 'Biffininna'. 51 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,979 - D'you know what I mean? - Has she done 'Buda-pesht'? 52 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:57,845 Yeah, Dary, has she done 'Shrlanka'? 53 00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,454 Is she 'Shr-Lankan'? 54 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:01,146 Has she done 'Mel-bun'? 55 00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,817 Not 'Mel-bern' because it's pronounced 'Mel-bun'. 56 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,187 - 'Mel-bun'. - D'you know what I mean? 57 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:07,985 And she only watches foreign features now, yeah? 58 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:10,227 It's like, did she stay off the beaten path 59 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,396 or did she go to where it's touristy, right? 60 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:15,395 Cuz you don't wanna go to where it's too touristy, d'y'know what I mean? 61 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:19,408 All she's done is hostels and backpacks and Kiwis! 62 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,682 - The BBC. - It was like she photographed in, 63 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,039 like, a cage with, like, a sedated tiger, innit? 64 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:28,518 I've written a bloody travel blog, haven't I. 65 00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:29,818 The BBC 3. 66 00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:31,749 And it's like did she get a little shlog, 67 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,218 get a little fix, if she's a little fit, innit. 68 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:36,264 It's like, there is comedy and then, 69 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,422 there is British comedy, you fucking bell-end. 70 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,591 It's like them Yanks sew the Canadian flags 71 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:43,230 up on their backpacks what when they go backpackins 72 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:45,403 cuz, you know, everyone loves them Canadians, yeah? 73 00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:48,431 I've hand rolled me cigarettes, haven't I! 74 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,601 ALL (Regular voices:) Pull your finger outta your ass! 75 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,240 (Theme music playing) 76 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:02,521 (Electronic music playing) 77 00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:10,359 ♪ 78 00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:15,963 ♪ I've been there, done that, messed around ♪ 79 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,929 ♪ I'm having fun don't put me down ♪ 80 00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:21,574 ♪ I'll never let you sweep me off my feet ♪ 81 00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,641 ♪ I won't let you in again ♪ 82 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,413 ♪ The messages I've tried to send ♪ 83 00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:29,708 ♪ My information's just not going in ♪ 84 00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:31,642 ♪ Burning bridges shore to shore ♪ 85 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,451 ♪ I'll break away from something more ♪ 86 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:37,149 ♪ I'm not turned on to love until it's cheap ♪ 87 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,117 ♪ Been there, done that, messed around ♪ 88 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,252 ♪ I'm having fun, don't put me down ♪ 89 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:43,887 ♪ I'll never let you sweep me off my feet ♪ 90 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:51,260 ♪ This time, baby, I'll be... ♪ 91 00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:54,997 ♪ Bulletproof ♪ 92 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:58,738 ♪ This time, baby, I'll be... ♪ 93 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:02,281 ♪ Bulletproof ♪ 94 00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:06,748 ♪ This time, baby, I'll be... ♪ 95 00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:10,149 ♪ Bulletproof ♪ 96 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:14,623 ♪ This time, baby, I'll be... ♪ 97 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:18,524 ♪ Bulletproof ♪ 98 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,461 ♪ This time... ♪ 99 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:25,827 - How're ya now? - Good 'n you? 100 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,195 - Not s'bad. - Where was yous? 101 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,837 Goin' scorched Earth, boys. 102 00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:30,638 - Had me a date. - Well, how'd it go, Katy-Kat? 103 00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,040 Almost not worth talkin' about. 104 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,535 Swing, batta batta! 105 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:34,706 And the old boy strikes out. 106 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,014 And the side retires. 107 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,542 More like stunk out. 108 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,850 - Is that what he did? - The dude was... ripe. 109 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,320 - Is that what he was? - Bit spicy. 110 00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:44,818 - Like... an odour? - A smell. 111 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,291 Well, type of dude who smells like 112 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:47,819 he wants to be left alone, eh? 113 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,124 Well, how bad? 114 00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,715 - Y'know Schmellies? - Can confirm. 115 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,290 - Take that. - 'Kay. - Now double it. 116 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,885 - Hm. - So you skedaddled ? 117 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,960 Well, if you smell gamey, you ain't gonna lay me. 118 00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:57,625 - Well... - If you want to hit a base, 119 00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:58,904 at least air out the place. 120 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,725 - Fair. - Not fair. 121 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,571 What if, like me, 122 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:07,006 his smells are something of an occupational hazard? 123 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,710 And that's nothing to feels ashamed about, Dary. 124 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:10,381 Some smells just stick. 125 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,410 Well, if you're married to your fuckin' barn clothes, yeah. 126 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,348 I made a commitment to date local 127 00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,680 and I expected a few coarse edges, but still wash. 128 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:18,687 You gotta wash. 129 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:19,918 You gotta Walla Walla Washington. 130 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,386 You gotta George Washington. 131 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,261 You've gotta George Washington Carver. 132 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,593 - Carver? - Hardly knew 'er. 133 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,757 Yeah, that dude didn't wash. First date, too. 134 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,757 A first impression's a lasting one. 135 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,159 - Well, to be fair... 136 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:32,567 - To be fair. - To be fair. 137 00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:33,928 To be fair, 138 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,440 another way of looking at the situation is that, 139 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,271 perhaps, the stress of it being a first date 140 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,367 is precisely what caused that unfortunates aromas. 141 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:42,105 - Yeah, the nervous sweats. - Yous two are soft on crime. 142 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,875 - It happens. - It always happens. 143 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,210 Have you met devil's advocate Dan? 144 00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:46,754 - (Scoffing) - Okay, well, 145 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:48,949 the nervous sweats are better than the meat sweats. 146 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,775 Oh, could've very easily have been the meat sweats. 147 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:51,920 No, that's an old wives tale. 148 00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,121 No, it isn't. 149 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,286 Meat sweats is a real phenomenon 150 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,764 or something like a phenomenon. 151 00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:57,218 The Swedes did a study on it. 152 00:05:57,256 --> 00:05:58,956 Bet the Swedes hammer a lotta meatballs, eh? 153 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,585 - Swedes probably hammer the most meatballs. 154 00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:01,926 - Yous are meatballs. 155 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,531 One trip to IKEA and everyone's a fucking expert. 156 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,373 What if it was the vintage tee sweats? 157 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,069 - What? - Well, what's say you buy 158 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,441 a tee shirt at a vintage store. 159 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,299 Some other nut sack, or nut sacks, 160 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,971 have previously owned and worn the tee shirt, 161 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,579 and they have perspired in it, and then, 162 00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:18,978 when you perspire, their stink rises to the top. 163 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,275 - Ugh... - Pretty gnar, but here we are. 164 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,654 - Pretty Paul Gross. - If you're nauseous, be cautious. 165 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:26,286 D'you wanna know what? I don't care if it's the nervous sweats 166 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,989 or the meat seats or the vintage tee sweats. 167 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,385 Thanks! Thank you. 168 00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:32,093 There's something that Mom and Dad 169 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,325 shoulda drilled into you a long time ago - wash. 170 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,464 - Wash. - BOTH: Born to judge. 171 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,627 - Well, I'm outta here. - Wheres you off to nows? 172 00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:40,725 I've got my two o'clock. 173 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,437 - Your two o'clock what? - Date. 174 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,498 - Another ones? - How many dates you goin' on? 175 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,240 - Today? - Holy fuck. 176 00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:48,112 - Three. - Three whole dates? 177 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,011 I'm goin' scorched Earth, boys. 178 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,836 What's the need for going on three dates in one day? 179 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,181 Dary... 180 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,416 if you can be one thing, you should be efficient. 181 00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:57,748 She's right. 182 00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:01,694 Must be fuckin' nice. 183 00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:06,787 Dream notch on the bedpost, boys. 184 00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,156 We've already played this. 185 00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:10,034 - Animated edition, buddy. - BOTH: In. 186 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,426 Cartoon character you'd most like to smash. 187 00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:13,795 Daxie, go. 188 00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,603 - Fred Flintstone. - Why? 189 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:18,265 Never wears pants. That's a head start I can get behind and would. 190 00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:21,544 - Barney's in the same camp. - Flintstone's were the inaugural Village People. 191 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,807 - That's so hot. - That's so fuckin' hot. 192 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,013 - Let's fuck a village person. - I'll fuck a village person. 193 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:29,215 - Let's fuck a whole village. - I'll fuck some villagers. - We'll have a gay old time. 194 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,052 - Reilly, go. - Ariel. 195 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,887 - The Little Mermaid? - She's not that little. 196 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,552 Besides, Prince Eric would never 197 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,720 smash a mermaid that was too little. 198 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,719 Not the Prince Eric I know. 199 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,231 She's like 16 in the movie. 200 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,133 Well, according to the film's official novelization, 201 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:43,961 Prince Eric was eighteen. so he's good... 202 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:46,326 in most states? 203 00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:48,565 Any concern for the very likely fishy smell? 204 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,404 - None whatsoever. - Jonesy, go. 205 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,970 Maid Marian from Disney's rendition of Robin Hood. 206 00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:55,575 She's foxy, bro. 207 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,041 Oh, super foxy! 208 00:07:57,076 --> 00:07:58,206 Which is not surprising, 209 00:07:58,244 --> 00:07:59,754 considering she is literally a fox! 210 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:00,912 Where's Gailer? 211 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,480 Well, it's supposed to be a secret, 212 00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:04,415 but since you've basically already guessed it, 213 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,894 Gail is out of action because Gail is gettin' some action. 214 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,321 You mean that old goat's wandered into the horse pen? 215 00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:13,427 - You said it, not me. - Who's the stud? 216 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,203 - It's a super secret. - Okay, buddy. 217 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,499 It's under the classified cone, Jonesy. 218 00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:22,031 - A little space, spasiba. - No worries, Glenski. 219 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,598 I will not tell tales out of school, Reilly. 220 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,439 Honestly, you've become relentless. I don't like it. 221 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,435 It's not a good look on you. It's not a good colour. 222 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,537 - I'm happy for her. - You too, now? 223 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,376 Listen, I cannot handle this pressure, gentleman. 224 00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,081 It's gonna make me crumble, crumble like 225 00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:35,953 the beautiful Greek statue that I kind of am. 226 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,845 - End of discussion then. - Oh! Fine! 227 00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:41,685 (Sighing) Since you were talking about cartoon takedowns, 228 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,191 let's put it this way, 229 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,792 if Gail's takedown were a cartoon character, 230 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,357 he'd be Woody from Toy Story, one through four. 231 00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:49,103 But that's all you're getting outta Glen. 232 00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:51,898 That's it. Zip it up. Fort Knox. Nothing more! 233 00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,631 It's 'cause he's tall, lanky 234 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:56,639 and wears cowboy hat, goodness gracious. 235 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,542 He talks real fast. I mean, real fast, 236 00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,811 but that's all the auction-- Oh, Glen... 237 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:04,243 All the action that I will participate in! Enough! 238 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,547 ALL: Jimmy Dick-skin? 239 00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,278 Is as tall lying down as he is standing up. 240 00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:08,653 I heard that from the horse's mouth. 241 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,254 But that's the end of this conversation. 242 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,824 It's a three-hander. Okay? 243 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,156 But that's it. Goodbye! 244 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,592 Fine! It's the length of a chair leg 245 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,434 and the girth of a coffee mug. 246 00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:23,559 Are you happy now? I cannot keep talking about this! 247 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,166 Okay, he's quite tall, so if he's standing straight up-- 248 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,902 I'm just trying to do a little math here-- 249 00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:29,344 and his horn is a high jump bar 250 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,342 I think it's set at about a meter-twenty. 251 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,835 - Glen... - Bonnie, I'm trying! 252 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,437 Listen, I'm at work right now. 253 00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:37,775 I'm trying to finish my shift here. 254 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,580 Do you think I want to stand around here all day, 255 00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:41,512 when I'm supposed to be working, but instead 256 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,781 I'm talking about my employer and her personal life, 257 00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:46,816 and how Jim Dickens' horn could double as a pull-up bar? 258 00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:49,922 I don't like any part of this, gentlemen! 259 00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,186 Glen! 260 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,687 Fine! We're done! We're done! 261 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,988 And, Bonnie, enough. And we're done. 262 00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:56,597 Enough and enough! 263 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,329 Do you guys think Jimmy Dick-skin 264 00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:01,534 can, like, suck his own wiener? 265 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,471 And the small town rumour mill begins to churn. 266 00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:06,773 When was the last time you tried? 267 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,705 - How're you now? - Good 'n' you? 268 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,876 - Not so bad. - That was quick. 269 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:16,215 That was one was better... but still a bust. 270 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,482 Swing, batta batta. 271 00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:19,046 Good cut. Good cut. 272 00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,148 Caught a nice piece of it, 273 00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,046 but still foul... smelling? 274 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,321 Foul was not the issue this time around. 275 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,827 Good. Wash. 276 00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,558 - He had summer teeth. - What's summer teeth? 277 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,057 Pretty good Wilcos album. 278 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,328 Summer' here. Some are there. 279 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:34,028 And you don't like that, eh? 280 00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:35,966 Duh. 281 00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:38,302 - How bad's we talkins? - Bad. 282 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,208 How bad? 283 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:41,709 Summer' inside his mouth 284 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:44,811 and summer' not inside his mouth anymore. 285 00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:47,411 See, I got, uh... 286 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,680 I got a wee bit of time for that. 287 00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:51,075 - Pardon? - Yeah, you know, 288 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,250 likes as long as they're cleans. 289 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,688 (Muttering agreement) 290 00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:56,319 - No, they weren't. - Oh, yeah, no. Fuck that. No. 291 00:10:56,355 --> 00:10:58,085 - God, no. - He a flosser? 292 00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,987 Did not appear to have flossed. No. 293 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:01,986 (Chuckling) But, I mean... 294 00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:04,098 nobody really flosses. 295 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,903 (Chuckling) 296 00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:07,331 Right? 297 00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:08,926 Are yous fuckin' with me? 298 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,101 Here's all I'm saying - is there's a lot of super, 299 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,611 mega babes out there who have 300 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,443 what some might call imperfect teeth. 301 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,278 - Like who? - Jessica Pare. 302 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,743 - Anna Paquins. - Madonna. 303 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:21,048 Mick Jagger's daughter Georgia May Jagger. 304 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,620 - Vanessa Paradis. - Jewel. 305 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,052 And don't forget Dutch supermodel Lara Stone. 306 00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,524 But you guys like that? 307 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:28,422 Look, here's the thing and I'm gonna tell ya - 308 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:31,294 what's a person without imperfections? 309 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,127 Yeah, I like a little bit of au naturel. 310 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,632 Professor Tricia calls it flaws of the Kardashian generations - 311 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,426 young womens refuse to accept their perfect imperfections. 312 00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,925 Personally, I like a dude with straight teeth. 313 00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:43,097 To each his or her own. 314 00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:44,235 Well, I'm sorrys. 315 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,640 I didn't realize we was talkings 316 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,465 to the Queen of fuckin' Englands! 317 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,280 - We should all be so lucky! - Yeah, must be fuckin' nice! 318 00:11:50,309 --> 00:11:51,979 - I'm outta here. - Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Katys. 319 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,654 Oh, yeah. Sorry 'bout that. Didn't mean to shout 320 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,483 - n' make ya leave or anything. - Sorry too, Katy-Kat. 321 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,448 To each his or her own. 322 00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,423 But I'm only leaving because I've got my third date. 323 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,592 Scorched Earth, boys. 324 00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:07,060 Oh! Must be fuckin' nice! 325 00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:11,903 So... 326 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:12,901 BOTH: So... 327 00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:15,072 - So... - BOTH: So... 328 00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:18,941 You guys hear Gail ordered a Chipotle Chimichanga? 329 00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:21,671 (Laughing) 330 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:25,011 Yeah. Heard it was smoked meat with an extra-large pickle. 331 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,177 - Still not bigger than Stewart's. - Roald... 332 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,506 Just so we're crystal clear here, 333 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,781 you guys heard Jim Dickens fucked Gailer? 334 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:33,486 - What? - We heard Gailer fucked Jim Dickens. 335 00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:34,819 - Steamy. - Sordid. 336 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,824 - Squalid. - Gail lassoed a cowboy. 337 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:39,126 You guys hear Chipotle Chimichanga? 338 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,528 - Double stuffed. - That's good. 339 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,764 How big is that exactly? 340 00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,955 Take a Chipotle Chimichanga... 341 00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:46,097 - Yeah. - Now double it. 342 00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:47,972 I'm not a math guy. 343 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,200 - Still not bigger than Stewart's. - Roald. 344 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,169 DAX: I heard Gail rode that sturdy steed till sunrise. 345 00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:55,214 - I heard the stallion never petered off. - Giddy-up. 346 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,714 I've never thought about Jim Dickens like that before, 347 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:01,447 but now I fear I may never stop. 348 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,615 (Speaking indistinctly) 349 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:11,889 Well, I think Jim Dickens 350 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,987 is all that most people are thinking about tonight. 351 00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:15,896 (All laughing) 352 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:19,231 Did I just get a text from Gail? Yes. 353 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:22,838 Did she use the raindrop emoji in reference to her womanhood? 354 00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:26,738 Maybe. Did you hear any of this from Glen? No! 355 00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,508 (Chuckling) 356 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,976 (All chuckling) 357 00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,745 (Chuckling) 358 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,988 (All laughing) 359 00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,520 (Laughing) 360 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,855 The small town rumour mill is a-churnin'. 361 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,230 (Laughing) 362 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,332 I think I'd like to start going on dates, like Katy. 363 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:55,104 - Attaboy. - With a local gal. 364 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,497 This long distance relationship's too much fuckin' work. 365 00:13:57,536 --> 00:13:58,896 Like to meet a gal from Letterkenny. 366 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:01,238 Since it's been a topics of conversations, 367 00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:02,843 may I gently suggest 368 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:04,605 that if you're about to re-enter the dating games, 369 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,407 that you steps up your hygiene games. 370 00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:08,906 What are ya talking about "my hygiene game"? 371 00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,118 Get outta your fuckin' barn clothes, bud! 372 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:19,023 I need a Gus N' Bru. 373 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,800 - (Sighing) - Batta batta swing? 374 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,896 Didn't even make it into the batter's box. 375 00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:29,944 He's outta there. 376 00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:31,599 You know, three losses is a slump. 377 00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:33,407 Well, two's a slump, but that's splittin' hairs. 378 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:34,409 Dating sucks. 379 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,740 Must be fuckin' nice. 380 00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:37,484 He was a crotch scratcher, Dary. 381 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,913 That is typical batter's box behaviour, though. 382 00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,605 What kind of a crotch scratcher? 383 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,977 There's more than one type of crotch scratcher? 384 00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,149 ALL: Yes. 385 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,817 The most popular being the pocket scratch, 386 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,786 in which you pretend you're searching for your change 387 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,661 or keys and then... the pocket scratch. 388 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,394 - 'Kay. - Then, there's the sits and wiggle scratch. 389 00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:55,656 Well, how does that one go? 390 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,328 That's when a guy keeps adjusting his chair 391 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,096 for no apparent reason whatsoever 392 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,901 so that he can distract from what he's really doing, 393 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,843 which was the sits and wiggle scratch. 394 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,602 I've never seen a guy do that. 395 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,467 DAN, WAYNE: Yes, you have. 396 00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:07,905 And then, there's the lesser known 397 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,610 "Hey, look over there" scratcher. 398 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:10,782 I'm exhausted. 399 00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:12,649 Katy, how long has that photo of you 400 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,248 been up on the fridge over there for? 401 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:15,920 Which? 402 00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,678 You just scratched yourself, didn't you? 403 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,450 Well, I'm never gonna tell. 404 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,185 Well, this guy didn't even trying to hide it. 405 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,693 He was just givin 'er! 406 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,515 Ah, the old 'fuck you' scratch. 407 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,930 Were you on a date with a degen? 408 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:28,028 I don't understand ball scratchin' on dates. 409 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,103 What are you six? Don't pull your puddin'! 410 00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,759 In all fairness, that's a two way street there, 411 00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:33,527 Miss Katys, 'cause I've seen more than my share 412 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,429 of ladies doing the pocket pinchin'. 413 00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:37,667 - Yeah, don't pick your poon. - Pardon? 414 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:40,043 - I said, don't pick your-- - Piss off! 415 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:41,335 Dart? 416 00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:43,943 (Phones vibrating) 417 00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:47,054 KATY: Whoa. 418 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,552 DAN: That is juicy. 419 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,484 So... to MoDean's? 420 00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,616 I'd have a dart! 421 00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:57,917 ♪ 422 00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,720 Bonnie! Turn that down! 423 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,022 (Music plays quietly) 424 00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,424 Heard some talk that people been talkin'. 425 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,389 It's okay. 426 00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:11,727 I'm the first gal from town to take down Jim Dickens. 427 00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:14,801 He's always fancied girls from Donegal, 428 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,767 where I'm heard he's referred to as the Donegal Ripper. 429 00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:22,273 He's a mystery around here... till now. 430 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:26,579 How big is Dick-skin? 431 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,982 Take a roll of paper towel. 432 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,648 Take all the paper towel off of it 433 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:34,587 'til yer left with just the cardboard tubing 434 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,560 inside the roll. 435 00:17:36,588 --> 00:17:37,818 - Got it? - ALL: Yeah. 436 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,990 - Now double it. - ALL: Yeah. 437 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,589 Know how I'm near sighted? 438 00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:42,727 ALL: Yeah. 439 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:44,761 Dick-skin got behind me at one point. 440 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:48,067 His horn's so long I needed my glasses 441 00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,170 to see what he was up to back there. 442 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,765 - Still not as big as Stewart-- - Roald! 443 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:56,335 At one point, Dick-skin scooped me up by my bum, 444 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,608 like Vin Diesel in the original 445 00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:02,354 Fast & Furious movie motion picture. 446 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,654 Okay. 447 00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:05,082 He's so tall, 448 00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:07,017 it was the equivalent of riding an elevator 449 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,946 up one and a half stories, 450 00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:12,927 with one hundred and a half times the danger. 451 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:15,328 Is it hard for anyone else to picture Dickens 452 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,860 doing anything but fast-talking auctioneering? 453 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,430 Who said there was no fast-talk auctioneering?! 454 00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:21,596 Fuck off. 455 00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:23,373 "Can I get a dip, one dip, dip? 456 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,535 "Can I get an ass in the air like I just don't care? 457 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:26,714 "Oh! (Grunting) 458 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:27,872 "Fuckin' Gail everywhere. 459 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,380 "Fuckin' Gail. Fuckin' Gail here, here. 460 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,783 "Goin' once, goin' once--" 461 00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:36,052 JIM: Would you like to go twice... 462 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,375 - (Gasping) - ...Gailer? 463 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,849 Jim Dick-skins. Didn't see you come in there. 464 00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:42,486 - Didn't ya not really? - No. Why?! 465 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:45,191 Well, he's a c-hair shy of seven feet tall is all. 466 00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:47,534 These are for you. I picked them myself. 467 00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:49,459 - Aww... - (Sniffing) 468 00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:51,855 Huh. Smells nice. 469 00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:54,967 How would you like to pick another flower? 470 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,670 Buy me a beer first? 471 00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,042 'Kay. 472 00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:02,741 I'd put it on your tab, but I can't seem to find it. 473 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,508 Maybe we should just start a new one. 474 00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:08,254 (Both chuckling) 475 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:10,983 Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking? 476 00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:12,516 Free beer if you smash Gailer? 477 00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:14,891 No. Two people from the same town, 478 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,920 together and happy... it's kinda rare. 479 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:21,260 Big take away, there is no one dateable in this town. 480 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,256 Yeah, well, I mean, what about... 481 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:26,098 No. There's no one dateable in this town. 482 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,765 - Well, there is-- - No. 483 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:31,873 There is no one dateable in this town! 484 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,574 Do you agree with that, Bonnie? 485 00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:35,505 Buncha' stinkers and scratchers, really. 486 00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:40,283 It's just no one new or exotic ever comes into town. 487 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:43,875 Like what's it going to take for some sexy Brit 488 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,846 to come in here and charm me with that accent? 489 00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:50,891 ALL: Angie? 490 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,863 (English accent:) Oh, please do excuse me, yeah? 491 00:19:52,891 --> 00:19:55,561 I've been abroad for so long, I'm barely recognizable, 492 00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:57,204 d'you know what I mean? 493 00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,129 Where does the queue begin for a pint at this pub? 494 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,298 I've drank nearly nothing but Guinness 495 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,036 since Dublin, haven't I? 496 00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:05,238 Oh. Do you take euros here? 497 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,980 ALL: Pull your finger outta your ass. 498 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,082 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 499 00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:14,150 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 500 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,753 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 501 00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,251 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 502 00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:19,482 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 503 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,221 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 504 00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:23,123 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 505 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,215 ♪ I will not be accountable for what comes out ♪ 506 00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:26,627 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 507 00:20:26,658 --> 00:20:28,628 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 508 00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,630 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 509 00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:32,632 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 510 00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:34,634 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 511 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:36,636 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 512 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,638 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 513 00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:40,640 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 514 00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:41,812 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 515 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,640 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 516 00:20:43,675 --> 00:20:45,635 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 517 00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,647 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 518 00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:49,649 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 519 00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:51,851 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 520 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,017 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 521 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,945 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 522 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,017 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 523 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,919 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 524 00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:00,987 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 525 00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:02,256 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 526 00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:04,034 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 527 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,366 ♪ I will not be accountable for what comes out ♪ 528 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,831 I'm known for running my... ♪