1 00:00:10,190 --> 00:00:11,491 Your sister heard an old favorite 2 00:00:11,526 --> 00:00:13,594 on the radio the other day... 3 00:00:13,628 --> 00:00:15,129 You know what I heard on the radio today 4 00:00:15,162 --> 00:00:17,164 who I haven't heard from in a really long time 5 00:00:17,197 --> 00:00:18,332 but low‐key love? 6 00:00:18,365 --> 00:00:19,299 Radio? 7 00:00:19,333 --> 00:00:20,701 Oh, so you were here when I said that then. 8 00:00:20,735 --> 00:00:23,103 Which radio? The one in the fuckin' truck. 9 00:00:23,137 --> 00:00:24,271 Are you being goofy right now? 10 00:00:24,304 --> 00:00:26,340 So, terrestrials radios! 11 00:00:26,373 --> 00:00:28,308 All right. Yeah. So you're being goofy right now. 12 00:00:28,342 --> 00:00:29,476 No, it's just I don't knows 13 00:00:29,510 --> 00:00:31,546 too many peoples who still listens to terrestrials radios. 14 00:00:31,579 --> 00:00:33,848 You've ceased mingling with the peasants then, hey, Dan? 15 00:00:33,881 --> 00:00:36,416 Internet radios, satellite radios and podcasters 16 00:00:36,450 --> 00:00:38,252 is far more populars these days. 17 00:00:38,285 --> 00:00:39,520 What do youse listen to? 18 00:00:39,554 --> 00:00:41,121 My Favorite Murder podcast. 19 00:00:41,155 --> 00:00:42,489 Taggart and Torrens podcast. 20 00:00:42,523 --> 00:00:45,125 WAYNE: Stern. Ah, Stern's fuckin' sexy. 21 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:47,227 Most peoples just don't listen to terrestrials radio. 22 00:00:47,261 --> 00:00:50,130 Internet radios and satellite radios have become far superior. 23 00:00:50,164 --> 00:00:52,199 So, if Howard Stern's type of radio 24 00:00:52,232 --> 00:00:54,535 is better than terrestrial radio, 25 00:00:54,569 --> 00:00:57,471 would Howard Stern's type be... Extra‐terrestrial? 26 00:00:58,172 --> 00:01:00,340 (ALL LAUGHING) 27 00:01:06,714 --> 00:01:09,216 ALL: Extra‐terrestrial... 28 00:01:09,249 --> 00:01:12,653 (ALL LAUGHING) 29 00:01:13,888 --> 00:01:15,723 ALL: Fuck you, Dary. 30 00:01:15,756 --> 00:01:18,458 Guess who I heard on terrestrial radio 31 00:01:18,492 --> 00:01:20,360 who I haven't heard from in a really long time 32 00:01:20,394 --> 00:01:21,629 but low‐key love? 33 00:01:21,662 --> 00:01:22,830 Who was it? DMX. 34 00:01:22,863 --> 00:01:24,732 Fuckin' A. You like him, too? 35 00:01:24,765 --> 00:01:25,900 Sure I do. Why? 36 00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:27,334 Well, because he's an animal lover. 37 00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:28,903 How do youse knows he's an animal lover? 38 00:01:28,936 --> 00:01:31,639 Well, on account of him always barkin' like a dog in his songs. 39 00:01:31,672 --> 00:01:33,641 See, that's why I low‐key love him. 40 00:01:33,674 --> 00:01:35,175 He just, he sounds so tough when he goes 41 00:01:35,209 --> 00:01:37,244 "arf, arf" at the end of a rap. 42 00:01:37,277 --> 00:01:38,846 How's that go, Katy? Arf, arf. 43 00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:41,682 I see. So, arf, arf... 44 00:01:41,716 --> 00:01:43,518 What the fuck was that? What's the problem? 45 00:01:43,551 --> 00:01:46,153 If DMX was here right now, he'd hoof you right in the nuts. 46 00:01:46,186 --> 00:01:48,889 I think DMX would assume Dary'd already been hoofed in the nuts. 47 00:01:48,923 --> 00:01:50,825 Yeah. I mean, you might as well make a cat sound 48 00:01:50,858 --> 00:01:52,492 at the end of a tough guy line. 49 00:01:52,527 --> 00:01:54,829 Well, how'd that go, Katy? Meow! 50 00:01:54,862 --> 00:01:57,297 No, but put some threatening rap music lyrics 51 00:01:57,331 --> 00:01:58,766 in front of it like DMX would. 52 00:01:58,799 --> 00:02:02,803 Okay. I'm click‐clackin' and rack stackin', 53 00:02:02,837 --> 00:02:06,774 bitches know I'm packin', I'm the trillist. Meow! 54 00:02:06,807 --> 00:02:09,209 See? I see. It's not the same thing. 55 00:02:09,243 --> 00:02:10,845 Nope. No animal sound 56 00:02:10,878 --> 00:02:12,112 would have the same effect as a dog barking 57 00:02:12,146 --> 00:02:15,382 if you're tryin' to sound tough with rap music lyrics. Not one. 58 00:02:15,415 --> 00:02:17,552 Maybe it coulds. Okay, Dan. 59 00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:20,521 Dan, okay. Okay, Dan. Let's put it to the test. 60 00:02:21,388 --> 00:02:24,224 Ahem. Uh... 61 00:02:24,258 --> 00:02:26,894 It's the jump‐off. Rockin' in my Tims. 62 00:02:26,927 --> 00:02:31,632 I'm the greatest. Get shook. Baa! 63 00:02:31,666 --> 00:02:33,601 Nope. This is America. 64 00:02:33,634 --> 00:02:35,970 Put the Benjamin's in the bag, bitch. 65 00:02:36,003 --> 00:02:38,706 Hoes in the trap, laid back in the 'Lac, 66 00:02:38,739 --> 00:02:41,776 I'm a don. Quack, quack, quack. 67 00:02:41,809 --> 00:02:44,512 Strike two. Number one country hustlers, 68 00:02:44,545 --> 00:02:46,981 I'll spray your crew and shoot up your funeral. 69 00:02:47,014 --> 00:02:48,883 It's beef and that's hunnid. 70 00:02:49,483 --> 00:02:50,751 (CROWING) 71 00:02:50,785 --> 00:02:52,319 Strike three. Youse outs. 72 00:02:52,352 --> 00:02:55,523 Ha, ha. Woo! J Hova. 73 00:02:55,556 --> 00:03:02,429 Original north side gang bangers. Bounce. Real Quick. Moo! 74 00:03:02,462 --> 00:03:03,964 Okay. Yes, I understands. 75 00:03:03,998 --> 00:03:05,600 I'm a P‐I‐M‐P. 76 00:03:05,633 --> 00:03:07,367 Banana clips in the Benz. 77 00:03:07,401 --> 00:03:11,005 I'll skeet on your main chick, you little bitch. Baa! 78 00:03:11,038 --> 00:03:12,540 Okay, you've made your points. 79 00:03:12,573 --> 00:03:14,474 Squee‐squee. Ice on my wrist. 80 00:03:14,509 --> 00:03:15,943 I'm strappin' and clappin' the glock. 81 00:03:15,976 --> 00:03:17,778 I'm about to shoot up your block. 82 00:03:17,812 --> 00:03:20,414 Keep it gangster. (CAWING) 83 00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:21,949 Okay, that might be enough shouting. 84 00:03:21,982 --> 00:03:26,554 (IMITATES ALARM) Machiavelli. Mom's spaghetti, 85 00:03:26,587 --> 00:03:31,859 it's straight yayo all day, yo. I'm the realist. Hee‐haw! 86 00:03:31,892 --> 00:03:33,293 I said you made our point! 87 00:03:33,327 --> 00:03:35,696 Gucci bag. Poppin' Dom. 88 00:03:35,730 --> 00:03:37,832 Racks on racks on racks, bitch. 89 00:03:37,865 --> 00:03:40,901 Make money. Imma shoot on your casket. 90 00:03:40,935 --> 00:03:41,969 (COOS) 91 00:03:42,002 --> 00:03:43,370 This is getting obnoxious. 92 00:03:43,403 --> 00:03:46,541 Versace, Versace, Versace. Cash money, 93 00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:49,610 Uzi's in the back of the Bentley For real though. 94 00:03:50,511 --> 00:03:51,679 Ribbit... 95 00:03:51,712 --> 00:03:55,683 So you see, Dan? No animal sound is as tough as a dog sound. 96 00:03:55,716 --> 00:03:57,552 I'm the king of the jungle, bitch! 97 00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,520 Bow down! (ROARS) 98 00:04:02,322 --> 00:04:04,959 I'm pretty sure that was a lion he was attempting there. So... 99 00:04:05,826 --> 00:04:06,961 So you stand corrected. 100 00:04:07,695 --> 00:04:09,697 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 101 00:04:17,705 --> 00:04:18,706 Okay... 102 00:04:19,807 --> 00:04:21,375 Is... Is that okay? 103 00:04:22,543 --> 00:04:23,744 I... Just asking... 104 00:04:27,948 --> 00:04:31,752 Are you okay? Yep... Just... Just checking... Bye. 105 00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:34,755 Don't do that, bud. What? 106 00:04:34,789 --> 00:04:38,492 Ask your gal privately, but publicly, "Are you okay?" 107 00:04:38,526 --> 00:04:39,359 Well, I was just making sure. 108 00:04:39,393 --> 00:04:40,628 Yeah, you don't wanna get too needy 109 00:04:40,661 --> 00:04:41,996 with a gal like that, Dary. 110 00:04:42,029 --> 00:04:45,465 A gal like what? A gal who is, respectfully, 111 00:04:45,499 --> 00:04:50,004 super, super, super fuckin' hot. 112 00:04:50,037 --> 00:04:51,806 She's Victoria Secrets hot, there, good buddys. 113 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:54,575 She's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition hot, Dary. 114 00:04:54,609 --> 00:04:56,644 Well, yeah. All the more reason to make sure she's okay. 115 00:04:56,677 --> 00:04:58,979 Well, don't say we didn't warn ya. 116 00:05:03,483 --> 00:05:05,119 (IMITATES SWITCH) How's the day? 117 00:05:05,152 --> 00:05:06,453 Longest day of the year. 118 00:05:06,486 --> 00:05:07,522 Summer solsticks... 119 00:05:07,555 --> 00:05:09,423 And you know what that means... 120 00:05:09,456 --> 00:05:11,559 ALL: Century Club! 121 00:05:11,592 --> 00:05:12,793 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 122 00:05:14,128 --> 00:05:15,930 A hundred shots of beer in a hundred minutes 123 00:05:15,963 --> 00:05:17,798 will buckle ya if you don't have a strategy. 124 00:05:17,832 --> 00:05:20,668 Let me just call the girlfriend and, uh, 125 00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:23,704 make sure it's okay with le ol' boule et chaine. 126 00:05:23,738 --> 00:05:24,905 Put your phone down, Dary. 127 00:05:24,939 --> 00:05:26,541 And fuckin' stomp on it... 128 00:05:26,574 --> 00:05:27,908 You try dating a French girl. 129 00:05:27,942 --> 00:05:30,511 Yeah, give it a shot, bud. WAYNE: 'Kay. 130 00:05:30,545 --> 00:05:31,879 KATY: Today on the summer solstice 131 00:05:31,912 --> 00:05:34,114 we honor the time good ol' Uncle Eddie 132 00:05:34,148 --> 00:05:36,483 got the worst sunburn this side of Sasky, 133 00:05:36,517 --> 00:05:39,687 thus having to spend the longest day of the year inside, 134 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:40,821 drinkin' the bar down. 135 00:05:40,855 --> 00:05:42,823 Well, I'm not carrying Dan home from the bar this time. 136 00:05:42,857 --> 00:05:45,726 That was youse? Well... Who's in? 137 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,595 The skids are sober, so they're out. 138 00:05:47,628 --> 00:05:49,997 And I don't know, I haven't heard from Reilly and Jonesy. 139 00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:51,632 McMurrays? Yeah, they'll be there. 140 00:05:51,666 --> 00:05:52,700 (GROANS) 141 00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:54,434 Mrs. McMurray tried to arrange 142 00:05:54,468 --> 00:05:55,870 some sort of pre‐drink on Facebook. 143 00:05:55,903 --> 00:05:57,104 Which is really counterproductive 144 00:05:57,137 --> 00:05:58,639 for the Century Club. 145 00:05:58,673 --> 00:06:00,775 Also, fuck Facebook. 146 00:06:00,808 --> 00:06:02,877 You'll wanna avoid McMurray today. 147 00:06:02,910 --> 00:06:04,044 Is that possible? Why? 148 00:06:04,078 --> 00:06:06,714 Well, it is the Century Club, so he'll be shit‐faced. 149 00:06:06,747 --> 00:06:08,516 DARYL: And when McMurray gets shit‐faced, 150 00:06:08,549 --> 00:06:10,017 things come out of him that are... 151 00:06:11,852 --> 00:06:13,788 Off‐putting. Like what? 152 00:06:13,821 --> 00:06:16,724 No. This one's best left parked. 153 00:06:16,757 --> 00:06:18,458 Well, now I'm just super curious. 154 00:06:18,492 --> 00:06:20,628 No, just... Just lets sleepin' dogs lies. 155 00:06:20,661 --> 00:06:22,863 Yeah, yeah, and don't kick a dead horse. 156 00:06:22,897 --> 00:06:23,931 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 157 00:06:23,964 --> 00:06:25,800 Yeah, stay away from him today. 158 00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:27,968 Actually, stay away from him when he's shit‐faced any time. 159 00:06:28,002 --> 00:06:30,938 You do realize you're driving us straight to him, right? 160 00:06:30,971 --> 00:06:33,641 Can confirm. Well, I got the e‐brake on so... 161 00:06:33,674 --> 00:06:34,942 Better let it out. 162 00:06:34,975 --> 00:06:37,778 Can't control a French girl. Or a fuckin' bored one. 163 00:06:37,812 --> 00:06:39,113 'Sup? 'Sup? 164 00:06:39,146 --> 00:06:40,615 We'll find out about it anyway. 165 00:06:42,983 --> 00:06:45,152 Look, here's the scoop and I'm gonna tell you. 166 00:06:45,185 --> 00:06:46,887 When McMurray gets shit‐faced, 167 00:06:46,921 --> 00:06:49,690 he likes to recount stories from his boys' trips. 168 00:06:49,724 --> 00:06:53,060 He still goes on boys' trips and he's married? Grow up. 169 00:06:53,093 --> 00:06:55,062 Yeah, he says things that are, 170 00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:57,497 mmm... Spit it out. 171 00:06:57,532 --> 00:06:58,566 Shoot. 172 00:06:58,599 --> 00:07:00,000 Just the worst fuckin' things you've ever heards 173 00:07:00,034 --> 00:07:02,737 in your entire lives. This I promise youse. 174 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:03,771 Thank you, Squirrelly Dan. 175 00:07:03,804 --> 00:07:05,606 MARIE‐FREDERIQUE: My brother was a hockey player, 176 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,008 all my cousins, too. I grew up with boys. The worst kind. 177 00:07:08,042 --> 00:07:10,110 So just try me. 178 00:07:10,144 --> 00:07:11,145 Samezies. 179 00:07:14,114 --> 00:07:15,783 All right. If we're goin' in, we're goin' in. 180 00:07:15,816 --> 00:07:17,217 We ain't stopping till the job's done. 181 00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:18,886 I should've packed a lunch for this. 182 00:07:18,919 --> 00:07:21,822 And final warning, this one is best left unpacked. 183 00:07:21,856 --> 00:07:23,223 Once we start you're gonna want us to stop. 184 00:07:23,257 --> 00:07:24,491 But we're not gonna stop. 185 00:07:24,525 --> 00:07:25,560 Prove it. 186 00:07:25,593 --> 00:07:26,861 You guys should do it in your McMurray's voice. 187 00:07:26,894 --> 00:07:27,928 Also keep your jaws clenched 188 00:07:27,962 --> 00:07:29,830 like he does when he's all shit‐faced. 189 00:07:29,864 --> 00:07:32,066 You know, for its effects. Any time now. 190 00:07:34,669 --> 00:07:35,870 Buckles up. 191 00:07:38,639 --> 00:07:43,177 Wayne, how would youse like to talk about cunt? 192 00:07:43,210 --> 00:07:47,848 Hey, Dary, are you an ass man, a tits man, or a cunt man? 193 00:07:47,882 --> 00:07:51,251 Hey, you ever fucked a couple of tasties at the same time? 194 00:07:51,285 --> 00:07:53,888 Oh... Fucked so many tasties. 195 00:07:53,921 --> 00:07:56,624 They used to tell me, "Hey, you wanna taste it?" 196 00:07:56,657 --> 00:07:58,759 They used to say, "Come on, big boy, 197 00:07:58,793 --> 00:08:00,761 "wanna jam a little bit of a taste?" 198 00:08:00,795 --> 00:08:01,929 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 199 00:08:01,962 --> 00:08:06,166 I go down to Vegas with about 17 buddies every single year 200 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,003 and you never seen so much cunt in your life. 201 00:08:09,036 --> 00:08:10,971 Ew! Hard Rock rooftop, 202 00:08:11,005 --> 00:08:14,909 poolside villas. I ain't never seen so much cunt in my life. 203 00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:17,545 Anybody tell ya they seen more cunt then that's a liar! 204 00:08:17,578 --> 00:08:19,880 I used to fuck so many tasties... 205 00:08:19,914 --> 00:08:21,015 (FRENCH PROFANITY) 206 00:08:21,048 --> 00:08:22,850 Where is Mrs. McMurray in all this? 207 00:08:22,883 --> 00:08:24,885 We's don't ask those kinds of questions. 208 00:08:24,919 --> 00:08:26,921 I'll tell ya, the last time we were down there, 209 00:08:26,954 --> 00:08:28,088 we made a little hashtag 210 00:08:28,122 --> 00:08:30,224 so the boys could keep track of each other. 211 00:08:30,257 --> 00:08:32,126 Why don't you go ahead and search 212 00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:34,895 hashtag MashTheGash2018. 213 00:08:34,929 --> 00:08:39,600 The year before it was hashtag SlitSlam2017. 214 00:08:39,634 --> 00:08:41,301 Oh... They were just the tastiest 215 00:08:41,335 --> 00:08:42,903 little slits you've ever seen. 216 00:08:42,937 --> 00:08:45,806 You never seen a gash so tasty. 217 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,307 You know what, Bobby, Jim Dandy, 218 00:08:47,341 --> 00:08:49,944 you're gonna lose a digit in that sort of snapper. 219 00:08:49,977 --> 00:08:54,048 Let me tell you something, Vegas, Hard Rock rooftop, 220 00:08:54,081 --> 00:08:57,918 poolside villas, that cunt's there for the money 221 00:08:57,952 --> 00:08:59,954 and the money's there for the cunt. 222 00:09:03,090 --> 00:09:04,659 (SPEAKING FRENCH) Oui. 223 00:09:06,727 --> 00:09:08,295 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 224 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,736 Yous guys had that comin', good buddies. 225 00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:18,072 That's a keeper if there ever was one, eh, good buddy? 226 00:09:18,105 --> 00:09:20,140 (SPEAKING FRENCH) Katy? 227 00:09:23,811 --> 00:09:26,781 But the McMurray's are part of the lifestyle 228 00:09:26,814 --> 00:09:29,216 so don't they just do that kind of shit together? 229 00:09:29,249 --> 00:09:31,118 I mean, they seem so in love. 230 00:09:31,151 --> 00:09:33,253 Different strokes for different folks, Miss Katys. 231 00:09:33,287 --> 00:09:35,022 I don't think Mrs. McMurray knows about this. 232 00:09:35,055 --> 00:09:36,256 It's none of our beeswax, Miss Katy. 233 00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:37,658 And she oughtta. 234 00:09:37,692 --> 00:09:39,026 That's none of your beeswax, Miss Katy. 235 00:09:39,059 --> 00:09:40,628 What are you trying to say to me right now? 236 00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:41,896 I'm sorry, Miss Katys. 237 00:09:43,798 --> 00:09:45,365 Apples. 238 00:09:45,399 --> 00:09:47,067 How's the take down tally, gents? 239 00:09:47,101 --> 00:09:48,669 Almost at the finish line. 240 00:09:48,703 --> 00:09:50,070 Let's sprint, baby, you know I want it. 241 00:09:50,104 --> 00:09:51,305 Speaking of Finnish, 242 00:09:51,338 --> 00:09:54,241 I smashed a Finnish‐Jordanian a few nights ago. Exquisite. 243 00:09:54,274 --> 00:09:57,211 I smashed a Tongan‐Micmac just this morning. 244 00:09:57,244 --> 00:09:59,313 Yeah, I smashed a Catalan‐Cameroonian. 245 00:09:59,346 --> 00:10:01,181 Yeah? I smashed a Swedish‐West Indian. 246 00:10:01,215 --> 00:10:03,784 Good. Well I smashed an Interior Salish‐Thai‐Syrian. 247 00:10:03,818 --> 00:10:07,021 Okay. Ever smashed an East Timorese‐Papua New Guinean? 248 00:10:07,054 --> 00:10:10,691 No. Ever smashed a Honduran‐Emiratis‐Metis? 249 00:10:10,725 --> 00:10:11,759 Talk to me when you've smashed 250 00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:13,661 a Cape Verdean Bahraini Manitoban. 251 00:10:13,694 --> 00:10:15,963 I smashed a Kazakh‐Baffin Island Inuit. 252 00:10:15,996 --> 00:10:18,198 Wonderful! Final day of competition. 253 00:10:18,232 --> 00:10:20,200 Let's all take a piss and get fuckin' 254 00:10:20,234 --> 00:10:22,402 some Nepalese Maritimers. 255 00:10:22,436 --> 00:10:24,839 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 256 00:10:30,711 --> 00:10:32,847 (URINATING) ALL: Oh... Ow... 257 00:10:34,014 --> 00:10:35,215 Ronsey? Daxy. 258 00:10:35,249 --> 00:10:36,283 Hurt a bit when you pee? 259 00:10:36,316 --> 00:10:37,351 It burns, buddy. 260 00:10:37,384 --> 00:10:39,119 Jonesy? Reilly. 261 00:10:39,153 --> 00:10:40,087 It burns when I pee, buddy. 262 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,189 (REILLY AND JONESY GROANING AND SQUEALING) 263 00:10:42,222 --> 00:10:44,892 DAX: It was that Haitian‐Bangladeshi. 264 00:10:44,925 --> 00:10:47,027 REILLY: (EXCLAIMS) That Baja Desert‐Ukrainian. 265 00:10:47,061 --> 00:10:50,097 RON: It had to have been that Northern Irish‐Maori tribesman. 266 00:10:50,130 --> 00:10:52,767 JONESY: It was that Saint Lucian‐Sikh separatist. 267 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,268 JONESY: (FARTS) Fuck! 268 00:10:54,301 --> 00:10:55,870 (JONESY MOANING) 269 00:10:58,372 --> 00:11:00,440 Oh, Katy. You better tuck in that bottom lip 270 00:11:00,474 --> 00:11:01,876 before ol' Tweety Bird comes along 271 00:11:01,909 --> 00:11:03,077 and makes a poopy poop on it. 272 00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:04,444 Glen, I will... Katy... 273 00:11:05,412 --> 00:11:06,747 Get a drink. 274 00:11:07,381 --> 00:11:08,716 Can I get a drink? 275 00:11:08,749 --> 00:11:10,751 Oh, no, no, Katy. Yell at me today. 276 00:11:10,785 --> 00:11:13,754 Because today I'm playing the role of Gail the bartender 277 00:11:13,788 --> 00:11:15,055 so that she may binge drink 278 00:11:15,089 --> 00:11:16,256 with all y'all, which is technically 279 00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:18,793 a form of alcoholism. 280 00:11:18,826 --> 00:11:19,994 It's gonna be a great day. 281 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:22,029 Not for hay. Not today. 282 00:11:22,062 --> 00:11:23,263 Today we's stays. 283 00:11:25,866 --> 00:11:27,034 Inside? 284 00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:29,003 Fuck's sake. You're gonna fuck it up, bud. 285 00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:30,771 Meanwhile, hello there. 286 00:11:30,805 --> 00:11:32,940 Who's this nice little number, Wayne? She's like a... 287 00:11:32,973 --> 00:11:36,176 Like a little Cathy Deneuve or like a little Brigitte Bardot. 288 00:11:36,210 --> 00:11:37,778 Glen, this Marie‐Fred. 289 00:11:37,812 --> 00:11:40,981 Oh... Enchante, Marie‐Fred. 290 00:11:41,015 --> 00:11:44,051 Je m'appelle all fucking yours. 291 00:11:44,084 --> 00:11:44,985 I know what you mean, Gail. 292 00:11:45,019 --> 00:11:47,154 She's like a... Like a Juliet Binoche... 293 00:11:47,187 --> 00:11:49,156 Like a Marion Cotillard. 294 00:11:50,357 --> 00:11:51,491 I'm here with Wayne. 295 00:11:51,526 --> 00:11:53,127 Who? Wayne. 296 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,262 I don't fuckin' know him. Yeah, you do. 297 00:11:55,295 --> 00:11:57,031 But I know you... Not yet. 298 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,332 Soon... 299 00:11:58,365 --> 00:12:01,936 Oh, lads, just a little FYI reminder. 300 00:12:01,969 --> 00:12:04,872 I am taking over the bar for Gail today. 301 00:12:04,905 --> 00:12:06,807 ALL: We know! Tone. 302 00:12:06,841 --> 00:12:07,842 Where's Bonnies? 303 00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,045 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 304 00:12:25,325 --> 00:12:26,861 Bonnie, how're ya now? 305 00:12:26,894 --> 00:12:27,828 Good and you? 306 00:12:27,862 --> 00:12:29,329 Not so bad. You callin' this thing t'day? 307 00:12:29,363 --> 00:12:31,465 One hundred shots of beer in 100 minutes. 308 00:12:31,498 --> 00:12:33,233 Rules are no pissin', no passsin' out 309 00:12:33,267 --> 00:12:34,902 and especially no pukin'. 310 00:12:34,935 --> 00:12:37,004 Ugh! No pukin', please! 311 00:12:37,037 --> 00:12:39,574 Ew‐wee‐you‐wee, gross, gross! It's a carpet in here. 312 00:12:39,607 --> 00:12:41,809 Competition's slim this year. The skids are sober. 313 00:12:41,842 --> 00:12:43,210 Reilly and Jonesy called in sick. 314 00:12:43,243 --> 00:12:44,812 So, you've got a shot. 315 00:12:44,845 --> 00:12:46,847 One hundred shots to bes precise. 316 00:12:46,881 --> 00:12:47,982 Oh, Dan! 317 00:12:49,049 --> 00:12:50,551 Well, I'd have a beer. Katy have a beer? 318 00:12:50,585 --> 00:12:52,820 I need a beer. Marie‐Fred, have a beer? 319 00:12:52,853 --> 00:12:54,321 I'd have a beer. Dan, have a beer? 320 00:12:54,354 --> 00:12:56,156 I'd have a beer. Dary, have a beer? 321 00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:57,992 You okay? Fuck sake. 322 00:12:58,025 --> 00:12:59,059 I'll grab them. 323 00:12:59,093 --> 00:13:00,460 This time, yes, but next time, 324 00:13:00,494 --> 00:13:02,196 talk to old Glen. Say, "Glen, get me some beers." 325 00:13:02,229 --> 00:13:04,899 Because technically today I'm takin' over the bar for Gail. 326 00:13:04,932 --> 00:13:06,601 ALL: We know. Okay. I'm starting to hear, 327 00:13:06,634 --> 00:13:08,435 I'm sayin' it a lot and I'm being really detailed... 328 00:13:08,468 --> 00:13:12,206 You comin'? Thought I'd concealed it. 329 00:13:12,239 --> 00:13:14,074 GAIL: Let's go. Oh, mercy. 330 00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:17,444 Bonnie, get the hot compress ready for Gail! 331 00:13:19,514 --> 00:13:20,915 She is some special, Wayne. 332 00:13:20,948 --> 00:13:23,017 She's like a little Genevieve Bujold. 333 00:13:23,050 --> 00:13:24,418 Or like a little Marie‐Josee Croze... 334 00:13:24,451 --> 00:13:26,554 Yep, a keeper if there ever was one, bud. 335 00:13:26,587 --> 00:13:28,222 Just makin' sure... 336 00:13:28,255 --> 00:13:30,558 Oh, Daryl. You're a bit of a tragedy today, aren't ya? 337 00:13:30,591 --> 00:13:32,627 A needy boy is a seedy boy. Okay? 338 00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:34,428 You're gonna fudge this up, buddy. 339 00:13:34,461 --> 00:13:36,531 I don't know why she's being so distant. Well... 340 00:13:36,564 --> 00:13:39,567 Take a look in the mirror you fuckin' asshole! 341 00:13:41,602 --> 00:13:44,471 Wayne! How's the good 'n' you bad are you now? 342 00:13:44,505 --> 00:13:48,342 (SNICKERS) You're hammered... McMurray. 343 00:13:48,375 --> 00:13:49,409 Here they are... 344 00:13:49,443 --> 00:13:51,345 Well, I might've had a helpin' hand 345 00:13:51,378 --> 00:13:52,446 from a spicy little number 346 00:13:52,479 --> 00:13:56,183 by the name of Mrs. Pampered Puss McMurray. (MUTTERING) 347 00:13:56,216 --> 00:13:57,518 (MUTTERING) 348 00:13:57,552 --> 00:13:58,786 Hoo, boy! MRS. McMURRAY: I'll tell you what. 349 00:13:58,819 --> 00:14:03,457 I might have a little base coat of ginski in this cocksucker... 350 00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:05,926 Mayfair. The good stuff... 351 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:09,296 Hey, Gail! How are we doin' for ginski in this cocksucker? 352 00:14:09,329 --> 00:14:12,332 You got the Piger Henricus from... Quebec? 353 00:14:12,366 --> 00:14:14,969 GAIL: I got a Wendigo if you want a Quebec gin. 354 00:14:15,002 --> 00:14:16,671 Awesome... Ginski... 355 00:14:16,704 --> 00:14:17,872 Oh, heavens... Okay? 356 00:14:17,905 --> 00:14:20,174 Next time ask me 'cause I'm in charge of the bar today. 357 00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:23,110 I am a lucky man. (SNIFFLES) 358 00:14:23,143 --> 00:14:25,079 Well, now that the sit‐down pissers 359 00:14:25,112 --> 00:14:26,614 are trampin' off to the bar, 360 00:14:26,647 --> 00:14:28,315 youse guys wanna talk about cunt? 361 00:14:30,017 --> 00:14:31,451 DAX: What a pain in the ass, eh, Ronsey? 362 00:14:31,485 --> 00:14:33,320 RON: I'd call it a pain in the dick, Daxy. 363 00:14:33,353 --> 00:14:35,590 Pain in the ass? Pain in the dick? 364 00:14:35,623 --> 00:14:37,491 REILLY AND JONESY: This is the end of days. 365 00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:38,559 Oh, relax, boys. 366 00:14:38,593 --> 00:14:40,260 At least it's not the gift that keeps on giving. 367 00:14:40,294 --> 00:14:42,429 Yeah, boys. Could've been the herp‐dog. 368 00:14:42,462 --> 00:14:45,332 How can you be so cold about this? It's your manhood, boys. 369 00:14:45,365 --> 00:14:47,535 Doesn't it just level you to see it like that? 370 00:14:49,570 --> 00:14:51,972 This isn't your... This is! 371 00:14:52,439 --> 00:14:53,674 (CLAPPING) 372 00:14:53,708 --> 00:14:55,710 DAX AND RON: Your first STD! 373 00:14:55,743 --> 00:14:58,012 Adorable. 374 00:14:58,045 --> 00:15:01,481 Wait. This... This isn't yours? 375 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,084 DAX AND RON: No! 376 00:15:04,118 --> 00:15:05,352 How many have you had? 377 00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,222 That's a tough question. 378 00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,424 I don't even know. Oh, my God, is that bad? 379 00:15:10,457 --> 00:15:11,491 Oh, my God, is it? 380 00:15:11,526 --> 00:15:12,627 I'm more trying to think of a time 381 00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:14,161 when I didn't have one. 382 00:15:14,194 --> 00:15:19,634 (STAMMERS) Two‐wenty? Thirty? 383 00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:22,570 You're in the ballpark. I think? 384 00:15:22,603 --> 00:15:25,105 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you're terrible. 385 00:15:25,139 --> 00:15:26,006 You're terrible. 386 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,643 How the fuck can you be so calm about this? 387 00:15:28,676 --> 00:15:30,410 This is the end of days! 388 00:15:30,444 --> 00:15:33,047 REILLY AND JONESY: (CRYING) This is the end of days! 389 00:15:37,184 --> 00:15:38,719 I think we learned a lesson here, buddy. 390 00:15:38,753 --> 00:15:40,054 I think so too, buddy. 391 00:15:41,121 --> 00:15:42,456 Which is odd because we're normally 392 00:15:42,489 --> 00:15:44,224 all about the anti‐lesson, buddy. 393 00:15:44,258 --> 00:15:46,527 Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose type thing. 394 00:15:47,628 --> 00:15:49,664 Yeah, it was coming to us, bro. 395 00:15:49,697 --> 00:15:51,498 When we compete to take down babes... 396 00:15:51,532 --> 00:15:53,267 And nearly win. Still could win. 397 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,468 But... Really... 398 00:15:54,502 --> 00:15:57,237 BOTH: No one wins. (GROAN) 399 00:15:57,271 --> 00:16:00,007 It was that Himlayan‐Bengali‐Croat. 400 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,609 That rascal! 401 00:16:04,244 --> 00:16:05,980 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 402 00:16:25,399 --> 00:16:30,137 ♪ I feel foolish I wanna drink too much 403 00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:34,775 ♪ You look Polish you got a wicked sense of humor 404 00:16:34,809 --> 00:16:40,247 ♪ I feel dizzy and I want your touch 405 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:44,652 ♪ Let's get tipsy and start a rumor 406 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:53,327 ♪ I feel restless here I can't sit still 407 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:57,497 ♪ Everybody at this party's got their fingers in the till 408 00:16:57,532 --> 00:17:03,203 ♪ I bet their parents are ridiculously loaded 409 00:17:03,237 --> 00:17:08,042 ♪ Let's get moving, before I'm loaded 410 00:17:11,646 --> 00:17:16,517 ♪ The dancers need a dance floor the swingers gotta swing 411 00:17:16,551 --> 00:17:21,622 ♪ Fashionable people doing questionable things 412 00:17:21,656 --> 00:17:27,327 ♪ Fashionable, fashionable fashionable people 413 00:17:31,265 --> 00:17:36,771 ♪ Fashionable, fashionable fashionable people 414 00:17:40,608 --> 00:17:45,513 ♪ I don't wanna hang around in someone else's scene 415 00:17:45,546 --> 00:17:50,551 ♪ Fashionable people doing questionable things 416 00:17:50,585 --> 00:17:55,823 ♪ Fashionable, fashionable fashionable people 417 00:17:59,927 --> 00:18:05,566 ♪ Fashionable, fashionable fashionable people 418 00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:15,275 ♪ Fashionable, fashionable fashionable people 419 00:18:17,912 --> 00:18:19,514 ♪ Come on 420 00:18:19,547 --> 00:18:25,485 ♪ Questionable, questionable questionable things 421 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:29,256 One hundred. Congratulations, everyone. 422 00:18:29,289 --> 00:18:30,490 Huzzah, gang! 423 00:18:30,525 --> 00:18:32,459 We all finished the cocksucker... 424 00:18:32,492 --> 00:18:35,262 Nobody puked or pissed or passed out. 425 00:18:35,295 --> 00:18:39,734 Wait. Yeah. Wow. 426 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:40,901 Everybody wins. 427 00:18:40,935 --> 00:18:42,637 Well, I do love a happy ending. 428 00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:44,539 As do I, mon frere. 429 00:18:44,572 --> 00:18:46,340 BONNIE: Congratulations on completion, everyone. 430 00:18:46,373 --> 00:18:47,742 You may now use the facilities. 431 00:18:49,844 --> 00:18:51,512 Oh... 432 00:18:51,546 --> 00:18:54,915 Hello. Goodbye. Well, that's my cue. 433 00:18:54,949 --> 00:18:56,584 I'll help you bus, Glen. 434 00:18:56,617 --> 00:18:58,586 Samezies. Ah, thank you. 435 00:18:58,619 --> 00:18:59,854 You got a big bin for all this? 436 00:18:59,887 --> 00:19:00,921 GLEN: Well, I sure do. 437 00:19:00,955 --> 00:19:02,823 I got two strong hands. I can help. 438 00:19:02,857 --> 00:19:04,491 No, we got it. WAYNE: Good enough. 439 00:19:04,525 --> 00:19:06,527 You leave it to Julie Delpy and Mila Kunis and me. 440 00:19:06,561 --> 00:19:07,562 Come on, ladies. 441 00:19:09,697 --> 00:19:12,266 Well, they all cleared out of here pretty fast. 442 00:19:12,299 --> 00:19:14,702 Not as fast as the wind. 443 00:19:14,735 --> 00:19:16,236 You guys know that back in high school 444 00:19:16,270 --> 00:19:18,238 I used to be known as... (MUTTERS) 445 00:19:18,272 --> 00:19:20,908 (BURPS) I ought to tell youse 446 00:19:20,941 --> 00:19:24,979 a story about hashtag CuntCripple2016. 447 00:19:25,012 --> 00:19:27,582 Please don't feel like you have to. Oh, I do. 448 00:19:27,615 --> 00:19:31,886 Going down Vegas with the boys. Hard Rock rooftop... 449 00:19:31,919 --> 00:19:33,754 ALL: Poolside villas. 450 00:19:33,788 --> 00:19:35,723 This sweet and tasty little thing 451 00:19:35,756 --> 00:19:38,759 comes and grabs me right by the short and curlies, 452 00:19:38,793 --> 00:19:41,495 right at the poolside bar. And, believe me, never, 453 00:19:41,529 --> 00:19:44,832 ever in your life have you ever seen so many tasties ever. 454 00:19:44,865 --> 00:19:46,701 I'd have a dart. I didn't fart. 455 00:19:46,734 --> 00:19:48,335 Oh, now, now, hold your horses now, 456 00:19:48,368 --> 00:19:50,337 'cause this is about to get real good. 457 00:19:50,370 --> 00:19:54,241 Now this particular tasty was of the Australian variety. 458 00:19:54,274 --> 00:19:55,309 Crikey. 459 00:19:55,342 --> 00:19:56,944 Now you may not know this, 460 00:19:56,977 --> 00:19:59,880 but down there they likes you to piss on 'em. 461 00:19:59,914 --> 00:20:01,682 No, they don't. Yes, they do. 462 00:20:01,716 --> 00:20:03,250 Actually, I'm told the dudes from down under 463 00:20:03,283 --> 00:20:05,285 do piss on gals. 464 00:20:05,319 --> 00:20:06,687 But I don't know what's in it for the gals. 465 00:20:06,721 --> 00:20:08,623 So anyways, she says to me, 466 00:20:09,690 --> 00:20:11,892 "I'm gonna go lay in the tub 467 00:20:11,926 --> 00:20:15,530 "and I want you come in there and have a little piss on me." 468 00:20:15,563 --> 00:20:16,664 Fuck sake. 469 00:20:16,697 --> 00:20:20,535 So, I says to her, "You want the yella or the big fella?" 470 00:20:20,568 --> 00:20:21,468 Let's have a dart. 471 00:20:21,502 --> 00:20:23,470 Oh, no, come on now. Now we're almost there. 472 00:20:23,504 --> 00:20:25,039 I'm almost done. 473 00:20:25,072 --> 00:20:26,807 I don't really know what to do. 474 00:20:26,841 --> 00:20:29,677 I don't know if I'm supposed to get hard 475 00:20:29,710 --> 00:20:32,780 or where I'm supposed to piss on her... 476 00:20:32,813 --> 00:20:35,282 Dary! I kinda wanna see where it goes. 477 00:20:35,315 --> 00:20:36,684 So she says to me, 478 00:20:36,717 --> 00:20:39,486 "I'm gonna go in there, and lay in the tub 479 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,690 "and you're gonna go in there and get a little bit hard, 480 00:20:42,723 --> 00:20:44,424 "and you're gonna come in 481 00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:45,893 "and have a little piss on my tits." 482 00:20:45,926 --> 00:20:48,462 Dart time! Fart time. (LAUGHS) 483 00:20:48,495 --> 00:20:51,599 No, I just gotta call Anik, make sure everything's good. 484 00:20:55,002 --> 00:20:56,904 McMurray... Katy. 485 00:21:01,341 --> 00:21:03,744 DAN: (FARTS) That wasn't a fart. 486 00:21:05,613 --> 00:21:08,448 I've got a question for you! I've got a question for you... 487 00:21:08,482 --> 00:21:11,385 Okay. You need to know that when... 488 00:21:11,418 --> 00:21:12,653 What are you doing 489 00:21:12,687 --> 00:21:14,354 the last week of May? 490 00:21:15,389 --> 00:21:17,758 Why? I'll tell you. 491 00:21:19,059 --> 00:21:21,662 Every spring, me and about 17 gal pals 492 00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:24,364 head down to Cancun for a girls' weekend. 493 00:21:25,933 --> 00:21:27,602 Okay... 494 00:21:27,635 --> 00:21:30,004 Let me tell you something about spring break. 495 00:21:31,606 --> 00:21:35,009 The older cunt is there for the young cock. 496 00:21:35,042 --> 00:21:37,845 And the young cock is there for the older cunt. 497 00:21:41,816 --> 00:21:43,450 Oh... 498 00:21:43,483 --> 00:21:45,620 (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) 499 00:21:56,430 --> 00:21:58,032 Thanks, Glen. Oh! 500 00:21:58,065 --> 00:21:59,133 Thanks, Bonnie. 501 00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:00,267 It was a pleasure, Gail. 502 00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:02,369 It's always nice to give you a moment to binge drink, 503 00:22:02,402 --> 00:22:04,939 which is a form of alcoholism. 504 00:22:04,972 --> 00:22:06,006 'Kay... 505 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,675 Come on, Glen. I'll drive you home. 506 00:22:07,708 --> 00:22:08,909 Thank you, Bonnie. 507 00:22:08,943 --> 00:22:11,145 And I will sing you hymns to keep you alert and inspired. 508 00:22:11,178 --> 00:22:13,681 No, you won't. That's fair. 509 00:22:13,714 --> 00:22:14,782 Ladies first. Okay. 510 00:22:20,154 --> 00:22:21,221 They look so in love. 511 00:22:21,255 --> 00:22:23,558 WAYNE: Got every reason to believe they are, bud. 512 00:22:23,591 --> 00:22:25,492 KATY: But they... DAN: Miss Katys? 513 00:22:25,793 --> 00:22:27,027 What? 514 00:22:27,061 --> 00:22:30,998 A wee bits earlier I suggested, quite gently, 515 00:22:31,031 --> 00:22:34,001 that what the McMurray's do is nobody's business. 516 00:22:34,034 --> 00:22:36,837 I remember. I remember you shouting at me. 517 00:22:37,638 --> 00:22:39,173 I'm sorry, Squirrelly Dan. 518 00:22:39,206 --> 00:22:40,641 (WHISPERS) That's okay, Miss Katys. 519 00:22:41,909 --> 00:22:45,145 We are, nones of us perfects. 520 00:22:45,179 --> 00:22:49,850 And that is what I appreciates about us. 521 00:22:49,884 --> 00:22:51,786 Can I borrow somebody's phone to call Anik, please? 522 00:22:51,819 --> 00:22:53,621 WAYNE AND KATY: No. 523 00:22:53,654 --> 00:22:55,523 But what have we learned through all this, Miss Katys? 524 00:22:55,556 --> 00:22:58,425 Different strokes, for different folks. I think? 525 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:01,562 I think you just nailed it. 526 00:23:04,064 --> 00:23:07,434 ♪ Get a little closer let fold 527 00:23:07,467 --> 00:23:10,871 ♪ Cut open my sternum and pull 528 00:23:10,905 --> 00:23:13,608 ♪ My little ribs around you 529 00:23:15,042 --> 00:23:18,879 ♪ The rungs of me be under under you 530 00:23:18,913 --> 00:23:22,216 ♪ I'll cut the soft pockets let bleed 531 00:23:22,249 --> 00:23:26,053 ♪ Over the rocky cliffs that you leave 532 00:23:26,086 --> 00:23:29,724 ♪ To peer over and not forget what feet are 533 00:23:29,757 --> 00:23:33,528 ♪ Splitting threads of thunder over me 534 00:23:33,561 --> 00:23:36,697 ♪ Listen closely closely to the floor 535 00:23:36,731 --> 00:23:40,968 ♪ Emitting all its graces through the pores 536 00:23:41,001 --> 00:23:43,904 ♪ You make a fine shrine in me 537 00:23:44,972 --> 00:23:47,808 ♪ You build a fine shrine in me 538 00:24:02,823 --> 00:24:06,561 ♪ That I might see with my chest and sink 539 00:24:06,594 --> 00:24:08,996 ♪ Into the edges round you 540 00:24:10,130 --> 00:24:13,934 ♪ Into the lakes of quarry's that brink 541 00:24:13,968 --> 00:24:18,973 ♪ On all the edges round you 542 00:24:20,875 --> 00:24:23,911 ♪ Get a little closer let fold 543 00:24:23,944 --> 00:24:27,815 ♪ Cut open my sternum and pull 544 00:24:27,848 --> 00:24:30,250 ♪ My little ribs around you 545 00:24:31,586 --> 00:24:35,222 ♪ The lungs of me be crowns over you 546 00:24:35,255 --> 00:24:39,159 ♪ Get a little closer let fold 547 00:24:39,193 --> 00:24:42,262 ♪ Cut open my sternum and pull 548 00:24:42,296 --> 00:24:44,932 ♪ My little ribs around you 549 00:24:46,166 --> 00:24:50,304 ♪ The lungs of me be crowns over you 550 00:24:50,337 --> 00:24:53,741 ♪ Get a little closer let fold 551 00:24:53,774 --> 00:24:57,044 ♪ Cut open my sternum and pull 552 00:24:57,077 --> 00:24:59,680 ♪ My little ribs around you 553 00:25:01,115 --> 00:25:04,552 ♪ The rungs of me be under under you 554 00:25:20,901 --> 00:25:21,902 Translated by: