1
00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:11,533
Attention.

2
00:00:11,566 --> 00:00:13,466
An amateur MMA asshole

3
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,566
asks you to engage
in aggressive altercation.

4
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,233
Who the fuck
is the toughest guy in here?

5
00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:21,066
That'd be me.

6
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:22,633
‐Bullshit.
‐Bopped you so bad in the bean

7
00:00:22,666 --> 00:00:24,200
you were beyond ass‐backwards.

8
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:25,533
No blood,
albeit bloody brutal.

9
00:00:25,566 --> 00:00:27,066
‐Clunk.
‐Clocked your carriage,

10
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:28,566
clipped your canopy,
caught your conscious

11
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,500
with a carefully
concocted combative cuffing.

12
00:00:30,533 --> 00:00:32,200
‐Dink.
‐Decked you defiantly.

13
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,733
‐Easy.
‐Ended you efficiently.

14
00:00:33,766 --> 00:00:34,766
‐Fuckin'...
‐Fucked your face up

15
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:37,300
from front to Finland
in a fairly unfair fashion

16
00:00:37,333 --> 00:00:38,800
unfortunately for females.

17
00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:40,266
‐Goof.
‐So you got up,

18
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:42,066
gathered your goods,
guts and gonads,

19
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,366
got after the goofy goon,
gave glory a good go.

20
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,100
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

21
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,666
‐Have at 'er.
‐Hucked a haymaker.

22
00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:54,100
‐Instantly.
‐Irked the idiot.

23
00:00:54,133 --> 00:00:55,433
‐Jackass.
‐Out‐juked the jerk.

24
00:00:55,466 --> 00:00:57,500
Out‐jabbed the joker.
Out‐jammed the juice head.

25
00:00:57,533 --> 00:00:59,233
‐K.
‐King Kong threw a karate kick

26
00:00:59,266 --> 00:01:00,566
that kinda caught you
in the kisser.

27
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,133
‐Loser.
‐But that legend lady luck

28
00:01:02,166 --> 00:01:03,066
was lingering and you left you

29
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,633
with only a lovely little lump
on your lip.

30
00:01:04,666 --> 00:01:06,033
‐Mint.
‐But maybe mention

31
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,333
you may use MMA,
Mr. Muay Thai.

32
00:01:08,366 --> 00:01:10,266
‐Nincompoop.
‐Knees are unnecessary.

33
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:11,800
‐Over it.
‐Okay, onwards.

34
00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:13,100
‐Please.
‐You out‐punched the prick.

35
00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:13,966
Out‐played the peasant.

36
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,666
Pushed proper pugnacity
on the pinhead,

37
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,233
left him praying for peace

38
00:01:17,266 --> 00:01:18,666
while Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers.

39
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:20,333
‐Quickly.
‐He got queasy,

40
00:01:20,366 --> 00:01:22,266
wanted to quit, folks were
quoted as quietly quipping

41
00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:24,533
he looked like a quirky,
quackish queen on Quaaludes.

42
00:01:24,566 --> 00:01:25,800
‐Right.
‐Roughed up the rook.

43
00:01:25,833 --> 00:01:27,566
Wrecked his reality.
Ruined his rep.

44
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,233
‐Superb.
‐You socked the sucker.

45
00:01:29,266 --> 00:01:30,733
Slammed the sally.
Secured the scuffle

46
00:01:30,766 --> 00:01:32,533
by successfully
out‐scrapping the skirt.

47
00:01:32,566 --> 00:01:34,233
‐Tremendous.
‐You took over the tiff.

48
00:01:34,266 --> 00:01:35,233
Out‐tangoed the tosser.

49
00:01:35,266 --> 00:01:37,500
Tough titties on that trade,
you twit. No truce.

50
00:01:37,533 --> 00:01:38,766
‐Unreal.
‐Utterly.

51
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,133
‐Violent.
‐Very.

52
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:41,500
‐Wonderful.
‐Well, whatever...

53
00:01:41,533 --> 00:01:42,733
‐Exceptional.
‐Exactly.

54
00:01:42,766 --> 00:01:43,733
‐Yup.
‐Yup.

55
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,200
‐Zebra?
‐Zip it.

56
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,066
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

57
00:01:58,066 --> 00:01:59,400
Tell us about your date
last night, Wayne.

58
00:01:59,433 --> 00:02:02,333
Hard to the fuckin' no.

59
00:02:02,366 --> 00:02:03,633
Pitter‐patter.

60
00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:05,600
Oh, I'd rather have
a cup‐a‐fart in the face.

61
00:02:05,633 --> 00:02:06,800
What's cup‐a‐fart?

62
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:08,733
Oh, that's when you
farts into your hand

63
00:02:08,766 --> 00:02:11,466
and then cup it like you're
transporting a tiny bird

64
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:13,733
and release it into the face
of an unsuspecting pal.

65
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:15,133
There could be worse things.

66
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,033
You're up!

67
00:02:17,066 --> 00:02:18,700
Well, for starters,
I ran late chorin',

68
00:02:18,733 --> 00:02:20,366
so I didn't have time
to get the truck washed

69
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,733
‐before I went over there.
‐So?

70
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,100
Well, so what if
Dad's standing there

71
00:02:23,133 --> 00:02:24,033
when I come up the laneway

72
00:02:24,066 --> 00:02:25,600
to pick up his daughter
with a dirty truck?

73
00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:27,333
‐He'd say, "Who's this tit?"
‐Fair.

74
00:02:27,366 --> 00:02:29,800
And I barely got the truck in
park before she hops in there

75
00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:31,300
so I can't get
the door for her.

76
00:02:31,333 --> 00:02:32,300
‐So?
‐Well, so what if

77
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,233
Mom's standing there
and I come up the laneway

78
00:02:34,266 --> 00:02:35,666
to pick up her daughter and
I don't get the door for her?

79
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,333
She'd say,
"Who's this nut tugger?"

80
00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:38,566
‐Fair.
‐I couldn't get my footing

81
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,100
after the rocky start

82
00:02:40,133 --> 00:02:41,600
so nothin' to report
thereafter, fuck.

83
00:02:41,633 --> 00:02:42,666
Well, you lived
to fight another day.

84
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,233
Well, I am lookin' for love.

85
00:02:44,266 --> 00:02:45,400
Boy, howdy.

86
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:46,500
Like I've been going on dates

87
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:47,600
and will be going
on other dates.

88
00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:48,466
‐Get after it.
‐Like if there was

89
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:49,533
a general theme,

90
00:02:49,566 --> 00:02:51,733
like, for the next six weeks,

91
00:02:51,766 --> 00:02:53,266
it would be,
"Wayne's looking for love."

92
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,466
(FARTING)

93
00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:58,766
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

94
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,266
Could be worse things.

95
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,533
‐Gentlemen.
‐How're ya now?

96
00:03:22,566 --> 00:03:23,766
‐Perfect.
‐Good 'n you?

97
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,133
Same bat time.
Same bat channel.

98
00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:28,000
Eh, shirt‐tuckers?

99
00:03:32,366 --> 00:03:34,066
Now, I'd say give
your balls a tug,

100
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,100
but it looks like your pants
are doing that for you.

101
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,333
You look like you could
lose a hand in there

102
00:03:37,366 --> 00:03:38,700
‐playin' pocket pool.
‐WAYNE: Here's a poem.

103
00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:40,500
Star light, star bright,

104
00:03:40,533 --> 00:03:41,600
why the fuck
you got earrings on?

105
00:03:41,633 --> 00:03:42,700
Bet your lobes
ain't the only thing

106
00:03:42,733 --> 00:03:43,800
that got a hole
punched in 'em.

107
00:03:43,833 --> 00:03:44,900
See the muscle shirt
came today.

108
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,066
‐Muscles comin' tomorrow?
‐You get a tracking number?

109
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,066
Oh, I hope he got
a tracking number.

110
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,433
That package is gonna
be smaller than the one

111
00:03:49,466 --> 00:03:50,533
you're currently sporting.

112
00:03:50,566 --> 00:03:52,066
‐WAYNE: Tall order, Dary.
‐You ever had a cup‐a‐fart?

113
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:53,033
You can cup‐a‐fuck off.

114
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,200
Hey, Katy.

115
00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:58,000
Hi, Dan.

116
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,200
Gentlemen.

117
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,133
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

118
00:04:14,566 --> 00:04:16,100
‐(ENGINE STARTING)
‐STEWART: Seatbelt.

119
00:04:18,566 --> 00:04:19,666
That kid's a polished turd.

120
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,533
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

121
00:04:40,266 --> 00:04:41,333
(MUSIC STOPS)

122
00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:43,133
Heard about you
and your sweetie, buddy.

123
00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:44,533
Heard she cheated on you,
buddy.

124
00:04:44,566 --> 00:04:46,133
That's a real kick
in the knackers, bro.

125
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:47,400
Just a real ouchie, bro.

126
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,033
‐(ENGINE STARTING)
‐(MUSIC CONTINUES)

127
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,466
Wait, does Stewart get points
for opening Katy's door?

128
00:05:09,066 --> 00:05:11,033
Johnny Cash could have
stepped out of that shit box

129
00:05:11,066 --> 00:05:13,800
and I'd still say,
"Why is it not clean?"

130
00:05:13,833 --> 00:05:15,633
Well, should we jump
into Dary's shit box

131
00:05:15,666 --> 00:05:16,800
and go to the Ags Hall?

132
00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:18,633
(DARYL GROANING)

133
00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,033
Now, I know
McMurray's meetings

134
00:05:20,066 --> 00:05:21,266
can be a bits of a chore.

135
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,233
Even worse when
Mrs. McMurray's there.

136
00:05:23,266 --> 00:05:25,433
But the Ags Hall is as much
ours as anyone else's,

137
00:05:25,466 --> 00:05:26,700
and we should be there

138
00:05:26,733 --> 00:05:27,833
for the important
decisions‐making.

139
00:05:27,866 --> 00:05:30,133
Squirrelly Dan, you'll be
snoring within the first five

140
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:31,233
and I'd bet
as many bucks on it.

141
00:05:31,266 --> 00:05:34,333
Well, I had my coffee today
so I will takes that bet.

142
00:05:34,366 --> 00:05:35,733
You don't need to shake,
I trust ya.

143
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,233
It's 'cause I cup‐a‐fart,
isn't it?

144
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,466
(SNORING)

145
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,100
McMURRAY: That was
a very productive

146
00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:46,100
first hour and 45 minutes,
I must say.

147
00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:47,700
On to item number
29 of 39.

148
00:05:47,733 --> 00:05:49,100
Yep!

149
00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:50,500
It's still item
number 28, baby.

150
00:05:50,533 --> 00:05:51,733
Item 28 is a two‐part item.

151
00:05:51,766 --> 00:05:53,500
Huh!
Thank you, darlin'.

152
00:05:53,533 --> 00:05:54,466
MRS. McMURRAY:
You're welcome, baby.

153
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:57,100
McMURRAY: All right,
on to item 28, part B.

154
00:05:57,133 --> 00:06:00,333
I, McMurray, motion that the
front weather mat be changed,

155
00:06:00,366 --> 00:06:02,200
from a Remington charcoal,
four‐foot by eight‐foot

156
00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:04,333
by three‐millimeter thick
rubber doormat,

157
00:06:04,366 --> 00:06:06,666
to a raisin charcoal

158
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,500
three‐foot by six‐foot
by three‐millimeter thick

159
00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,033
ribbed vinyl boot tray.

160
00:06:10,066 --> 00:06:11,033
It came in a gainsboro
grey also,

161
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:12,700
‐which is a pale tone of grey.
‐That's correct.

162
00:06:12,733 --> 00:06:15,300
‐It also came in puce.
‐Puce is a warm grey, tonally.

163
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,400
Grey tones don't clean up
as well as dark tones.

164
00:06:17,433 --> 00:06:18,466
Hence, the raisin charcoal.

165
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,366
Better look goddamn clean

166
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,600
after you're done
cleanin' the cocksucker,

167
00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:21,666
that's what I always say.

168
00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:22,733
‐(SCOFFS)
‐McMURRAY: Mmm‐hmm.

169
00:06:22,766 --> 00:06:23,466
Would a member
second my motion?

170
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,066
‐I second, baby.
‐(GAVEL BANGS)

171
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,633
‐I second so hard.
‐Thank you, baby,

172
00:06:26,666 --> 00:06:28,500
I knew you'd second
the shit right out of it.

173
00:06:28,533 --> 00:06:30,166
‐Dan!
‐(SNORING)

174
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,233
‐Daniel.
‐Mm, he's a real deep sleeper.

175
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:33,733
Oh, super deep.

176
00:06:33,766 --> 00:06:36,233
Like he fell asleep at the
IMAX during Transformers 2.

177
00:06:36,266 --> 00:06:38,466
Fell asleep riding the back
of a garbage truck one time.

178
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,166
‐Intolerable.
‐Daniel!

179
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,100
Do you know dogs sleep for
80% of their lives?

180
00:06:42,133 --> 00:06:43,400
You wanna know what?
He might be faking it.

181
00:06:43,433 --> 00:06:44,566
DARYL: He's faking it.
WAYNE: Oh, he's faking it.

182
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,433
DARYL: I can see
he's faking it.

183
00:06:45,466 --> 00:06:46,700
Are you faking it, Dan?

184
00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:48,033
Look, I can see one
of his eyes are open.

185
00:06:48,066 --> 00:06:49,500
‐WAYNE: Yeah, he's faking it.
‐Daniel!

186
00:06:49,533 --> 00:06:52,033
Don't touch it, it hurts.

187
00:06:52,066 --> 00:06:53,566
You better cut out
all that goddamn snoring

188
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,233
before I stuff
a cocksuckin' work sock

189
00:06:55,266 --> 00:06:56,066
down your skull cave.

190
00:07:00,433 --> 00:07:01,700
Keep going, baby.
Everybody's listening.

191
00:07:01,733 --> 00:07:03,600
‐Everybody loves you.
‐Thank you, darlin'.

192
00:07:03,633 --> 00:07:05,100
You better listen to her,
Daniel.

193
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:09,133
Now, I'm sure you no doubt
have all noticed

194
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:10,333
that we are down
to one dozen coat hangers

195
00:07:10,366 --> 00:07:11,466
in the front hall.

196
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:13,566
There are approximately twelve
dozen in the rear hall.

197
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,566
All standard steel wire, baby?

198
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,633
All standard steel wire

199
00:07:15,666 --> 00:07:17,233
in a flattened
triangular shape.

200
00:07:17,266 --> 00:07:18,600
I, McMurray,
motion that one dozen

201
00:07:18,633 --> 00:07:20,333
be transported
to the front hall.

202
00:07:20,366 --> 00:07:21,633
‐K.
‐Wayne.

203
00:07:21,666 --> 00:07:23,266
Wayne, Wayne, Wayne.
Wayne. Wayne.

204
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,433
Wayne. Look at me, Wayne.
Wayne.

205
00:07:25,466 --> 00:07:28,366
There is a tried, tested
and true system at work here.

206
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,300
And, as President
of the Agricultural Hall,

207
00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:31,600
I must demand it be respected.

208
00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:33,800
One member makes a motion.

209
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,700
Then another member
then seconds that motion.

210
00:07:35,733 --> 00:07:37,233
Second, K.

211
00:07:37,266 --> 00:07:38,600
K is not a second.

212
00:07:38,633 --> 00:07:40,266
Well, it's the second time
I said "K".

213
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:41,633
So you second my motion?

214
00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:43,233
You want to know what?
I'm all out of seconds, bud.

215
00:07:43,266 --> 00:07:44,633
‐So it's not a second?
‐Well, this is taking

216
00:07:44,666 --> 00:07:46,400
too many seconds
is what I'm saying.

217
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:47,533
Well, you only have
to second once.

218
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:50,600
All right, give me a second.

219
00:07:50,633 --> 00:07:53,066
So are you saying

220
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,300
that you second or that
you need a second?

221
00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:56,200
‐Well, one second.
‐All right.

222
00:07:56,233 --> 00:07:57,600
Wayne, you shall be
given one second.

223
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,166
Whilst Wayne
is taking one second...

224
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,766
I second the fuckin' motion,
McMurray!

225
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,333
Now move the fuckin'
coat hangers!

226
00:08:08,366 --> 00:08:10,066
Well, thank you, Wayne.

227
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:12,133
Let the secretary note
that I, McMurray,

228
00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:14,700
motioned to move
one dozen coat hangers...

229
00:08:14,733 --> 00:08:15,566
I'll move the fuckin'
coat hangers myself.

230
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,266
Can't sit around here
all fucking day

231
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:18,366
with my horn in my hands.

232
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,600
Got chorin' to do,
for fuck's sake.

233
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,300
(HANGERS CLATTERING)

234
00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:31,333
Would the secretary note that
aforementioned coat hangers

235
00:08:31,366 --> 00:08:32,633
have such been moved.

236
00:08:33,766 --> 00:08:36,000
Thanks to a very
over‐zealous beaver.

237
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,700
There's order, people,
and it must be followed.

238
00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:41,333
Concluded!

239
00:08:41,366 --> 00:08:43,200
Item 30 of 39.

240
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,100
Wayne.

241
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,300
Jim Dickins.
How're ya now?

242
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:55,366
‐Good'n you?
‐Not so bad.

243
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,500
Wayne, 100%
bullshit 'round here.

244
00:08:58,533 --> 00:08:59,500
(AUCTIONEERING)
Got a bidder now, one.

245
00:08:59,533 --> 00:09:01,266
Lookin' at two. Two,
and now at lookin' at three.

246
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:02,400
Three hundred now,
can I get a four?

247
00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:03,733
Four there now, sold.

248
00:09:03,766 --> 00:09:06,566
400% bullshit 'round here.

249
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,233
Well, it's never so bad
it couldn't be worse.

250
00:09:08,266 --> 00:09:09,700
Worse than 400%

251
00:09:09,733 --> 00:09:11,166
sounds an awful lot
to me like five...

252
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,433
(AUCTIONEERING)
500%, now lookin' at six.

253
00:09:12,466 --> 00:09:13,400
600%, lookin' at seven.

254
00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:14,633
700%, can I get an eight?

255
00:09:14,666 --> 00:09:15,800
Sold.

256
00:09:15,833 --> 00:09:18,666
800% bullshit 'round here.

257
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:19,800
Well, meetings
run a C‐hair long

258
00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:21,366
but it's important
business so...

259
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,600
If someone
doesn't do something

260
00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:24,233
about this bullshit soon...

261
00:09:24,266 --> 00:09:25,300
(AUCTIONEERING)
We'll be at nine.

262
00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:26,533
900%, now lookin' at 10.

263
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,700
Ten over there,
now lookin' at 11.

264
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,633
‐Can I get a 12...
‐All right.

265
00:09:28,666 --> 00:09:30,666
All right, cool it.

266
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,100
What would you have him do,
there, Jim?

267
00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:37,200
If Wayne runs for Ag Hall
president, I'll give him...

268
00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:38,233
(AUCTIONEERING) One vote
right here, looking at one,

269
00:09:38,266 --> 00:09:39,300
we got one vote here,
and lookin' to get two...

270
00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:41,500
Well, see, now that sounds
a bit dramatic to me, Jim.

271
00:09:41,533 --> 00:09:43,100
‐No. I don't think that's
such a bad idea.

272
00:09:43,133 --> 00:09:44,300
Did that not sound
a bit dramatic to you?

273
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,566
I'd back that.

274
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,566
Well, it's bloody
Shakespearean.

275
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:47,700
It'd be usurpin' the throne.

276
00:09:47,733 --> 00:09:48,766
I'd back that
like a spinal cord.

277
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,033
It just sounds
dramatic to me.

278
00:09:50,066 --> 00:09:51,133
(AUCTIONEERING)

279
00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:52,600
‐Jim!
‐Tell you what, Jim...

280
00:09:53,533 --> 00:09:54,633
I'll think on it.

281
00:09:55,733 --> 00:09:57,100
Have a good one.

282
00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:58,233
Have a good one, Jim.

283
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,733
One little birdie bird
flying in the sky.

284
00:10:02,766 --> 00:10:03,766
We got two little birds and
we're lookin' at three.

285
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:04,866
Three little birdies,
now we're lookin' at four.

286
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:08,600
Why do birds suddenly appear
every time I auctioneer?

287
00:10:08,633 --> 00:10:10,466
REILLY: Just a series
of bad bounces

288
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,300
for a couple of stick
and pucksters, bud.

289
00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:13,500
Not getting the bounces, bro.

290
00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:15,066
Cut from the
Letterkenny Shamrocks

291
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:16,366
in our overage year, bud.

292
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,333
No victory lap
for the Shammy's, bro.

293
00:10:18,366 --> 00:10:19,600
No victory lap, ferda.

294
00:10:19,633 --> 00:10:20,733
Ferda.

295
00:10:20,766 --> 00:10:22,233
And no Katy.

296
00:10:22,266 --> 00:10:24,233
‐Katy‐Kat stepped out.
‐Two‐timed.

297
00:10:24,266 --> 00:10:25,333
‐Played around.
‐Caught a matinee.

298
00:10:25,366 --> 00:10:26,600
Carried on.

299
00:10:27,066 --> 00:10:28,800
(SIGHS)

300
00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:31,133
You know, I should be mad,
but I'm just sort of...

301
00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:32,733
BOTH: Sad.

302
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:35,066
MAN: Give your balls a tug,
you tit fucker!

303
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,600
Not gonna miss playing with
Shoresy, though, bud.

304
00:10:36,633 --> 00:10:38,200
Always a silver lining, buddy.

305
00:10:38,233 --> 00:10:39,266
You know, bud, he's right.

306
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:40,466
Game faces on,
it's our first day

307
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:42,066
of senior hockey, bud.

308
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,633
Well, first impression's
a lasting one, bro.

309
00:10:43,666 --> 00:10:45,133
Are you ready for this, bud?

310
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,533
Fore‐check, back‐check,
pay check, bro.

311
00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:48,033
Ding!

312
00:10:51,366 --> 00:10:53,200
(LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

313
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:57,600
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

314
00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:03,066
What the fuck are you doing?

315
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,100
BARTS: What does it look like?
YORKIE: Doing legs.

316
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,300
BARTS: Leg day!

317
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,066
Where's Stormy been?
I haven't seen her all day.

318
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:19,400
‐In her pen.
‐Why?

319
00:11:19,433 --> 00:11:21,166
‐She's being punished.
‐Why?

320
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,266
She tried to kill
her stud again.

321
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:24,566
(CHUCKLES) That's my girl.

322
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:29,800
Why?

323
00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:31,600
Well, fucked if I know, Dan.

324
00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:33,766
It's supposed to be natural
for animals to want to breed.

325
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,300
And fucked if those pups

326
00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:37,133
wouldn't be as beautiful
as she is.

327
00:11:37,166 --> 00:11:38,400
She was a beautiful pup.

328
00:11:38,433 --> 00:11:39,533
She's a beautiful dog.

329
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:40,666
She was a gorgeous pup.

330
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,266
Well, she's a gorgeous dog.

331
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,733
But why is she in her pen?

332
00:11:43,766 --> 00:11:45,400
It's 'cause aggression's
to be discouraged.

333
00:11:45,433 --> 00:11:47,366
It's like Cesar Millan says,

334
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,100
exercise, discipline
and affection,

335
00:11:50,133 --> 00:11:51,566
in that order.

336
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,066
I'd have a Bloody Caesar.

337
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,433
Do you wanna know what?
I'd have a Caesar, too.

338
00:11:54,466 --> 00:11:56,333
I could have a Caesar if you
guys are havin' Caesars.

339
00:11:56,366 --> 00:11:57,766
Hard to see a Caesar
and not want a Caesar.

340
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,566
That's actually how
they market Caesars.

341
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,500
You should call up Gail over
at her Bed and Biscuits.

342
00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:03,166
I bet ya she's got
some studs for Stormy.

343
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,633
Well, better to let
the dust settle

344
00:12:04,666 --> 00:12:06,733
on Modean's burn‐down
before I bug her.

345
00:12:06,766 --> 00:12:09,033
We need a new bar
in this town.

346
00:12:09,066 --> 00:12:11,666
But why's Stormy trying
to kill all her studs?

347
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,300
'Cause they're sayin'
the wrong things, likely,

348
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,433
just like humans.

349
00:12:14,466 --> 00:12:16,100
First line better be a winner.

350
00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:17,333
First impression's
a lasting one.

351
00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:18,766
Like what?

352
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,400
Well, to be honest,

353
00:12:20,433 --> 00:12:21,600
I've taken to breaking the ice

354
00:12:21,633 --> 00:12:24,200
with the lyrics from
'90s pop songs.

355
00:12:24,233 --> 00:12:25,266
The words are penetrating

356
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,633
because she's likely
heard 'em before,

357
00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:28,733
but she likely won't realize
it when they're spoken

358
00:12:28,766 --> 00:12:30,500
rather than sung
with musical accompaniment.

359
00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:33,100
Five bucks says you cannot
successfully sell me on this.

360
00:12:35,366 --> 00:12:37,266
Hey, girl, give me your heart.

361
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,066
Make it real
or else forget about it.

362
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:40,566
That's Rob Thomas
and Carlos Santanas.

363
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,066
K.

364
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:45,033
Hey, girl. I wanna stand
with you on a mountain

365
00:12:45,066 --> 00:12:46,200
and I wanna bathe
with you in the sea.

366
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:47,333
Savage Gardens.

367
00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:48,700
Uh‐oh.

368
00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:51,600
Hey, girl,
I swear by the moon,

369
00:12:51,633 --> 00:12:53,333
the stars in the sky,
I'll be there.

370
00:12:53,366 --> 00:12:55,100
All‐4‐Ones.

371
00:12:55,133 --> 00:12:57,366
Well, fuck a duck.

372
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,533
Hey, girl,
I'll make love to you

373
00:13:01,566 --> 00:13:03,433
like you want me to,
then I'll hold you tight,

374
00:13:03,466 --> 00:13:05,033
baby all through the night.

375
00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:07,700
Are you talking to me,
you fuckin' greaser?

376
00:13:07,733 --> 00:13:09,266
You don't talk to me
like that, you fuckin' pud.

377
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:10,433
‐Argh!
‐I'll beat the shit outta you.

378
00:13:10,466 --> 00:13:12,633
Ah! Don't!

379
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:14,333
You're real good
at beatin' up Dary

380
00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:16,666
and that's what I appreciates
about you, Katy.

381
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,666
Oh, is that what you
appreciate about me?

382
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:22,300
I'll stake 20 to 25% off her
over there, Squirrely Dan.

383
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,133
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

384
00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:32,533
Hey, Roald, uh, I bet you have
a name for your bong.

385
00:13:32,566 --> 00:13:34,366
‐ROALD: Samwise Ganja.
‐Cool.

386
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,800
ROALD: Formerly known
as Paul Tokenfold.

387
00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:37,666
‐Awesome.
‐Formerly known as Air Bud.

388
00:13:40,666 --> 00:13:42,533
Hey, maybe your next one
can be called

389
00:13:42,566 --> 00:13:44,333
Air Bud 2: Golden Receiver.

390
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,566
All right, guys, we're outty.
Peace.

391
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,000
‐(SARCASTICALLY) Peace.
‐(ROALD SNORTS)

392
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,666
Bye, guys.

393
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,166
DEVON: Bye, Stewart,
not Katy.

394
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,266
‐(ROALD SNORTS)
‐Pardon?

395
00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:58,400
‐DEVON: Huh?
‐(ROALD SNORTS)

396
00:13:58,433 --> 00:13:59,633
I'll be in the car.

397
00:13:59,666 --> 00:14:00,700
Cool, baby.

398
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:08,666
Devon, you may elaborate
on your entanglement.

399
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,333
And, Roald, your exasperation.

400
00:14:11,366 --> 00:14:12,433
‐(SARCASTICALLY) Cool, babe.
‐(ROALD SNORTS)

401
00:14:12,466 --> 00:14:14,333
Speak!

402
00:14:14,366 --> 00:14:18,133
My entanglement is that
when that came along,

403
00:14:18,166 --> 00:14:19,633
that started happening.

404
00:14:19,666 --> 00:14:21,033
Seriously, Stewart
what are you even wearing?

405
00:14:21,066 --> 00:14:22,200
It's so gay.

406
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,600
‐But you're gay.
‐So what?

407
00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:27,133
‐He's a homophobe now, too.
‐(SCOFFS)

408
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:28,233
‐No!
‐Yes!

409
00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:30,166
I was born this way, Stewart!

410
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,433
We don't even know
where you are half the time.

411
00:14:32,466 --> 00:14:33,600
We're going
to the Weeknd show.

412
00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:34,766
It's Tuesday.

413
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,233
No, The Weeknd is here.

414
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:37,533
In three days, yeah.

415
00:14:37,566 --> 00:14:39,333
No, I mean
The Weeknd is here today.

416
00:14:39,366 --> 00:14:41,133
‐No, it isn't.
‐Yes, he is.

417
00:14:41,166 --> 00:14:42,433
Who is "he"?

418
00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:43,700
The Weeknd.

419
00:14:43,733 --> 00:14:46,166
Wow! Slightly sexist statement

420
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,233
to say Saturday and Sunday
are the masculine ones.

421
00:14:48,266 --> 00:14:49,733
He's a misogynist now, too!

422
00:14:49,766 --> 00:14:52,400
‐No.
‐Yes!

423
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,666
I mean we are going
to see The Weeknd perform.

424
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,300
She's got you totally
brainwashed, man.

425
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,033
You don't even know
what day it is.

426
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,600
I was born this way, Stewart.

427
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:04,733
(CHUCKLES)

428
00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:09,666
(SNIGGERING)

429
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,200
‐Ahh!
‐No, no, no!

430
00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:13,100
‐(YELLS)
‐(GROANS)

431
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:15,166
(GROANS)

432
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,366
Did you just stab me
with an EpiPen?

433
00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:22,233
(GROANS)

434
00:15:24,066 --> 00:15:25,600
(SHUDDERS)

435
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,566
‐Pain is good.
‐(WAILING)

436
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,433
‐Taste three mills.
‐(SCREAMS)

437
00:15:29,466 --> 00:15:30,733
Oh!

438
00:15:30,766 --> 00:15:32,766
Oh! What?

439
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,466
If any bees come in here
we are so fucked!

440
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:38,200
Don't open those
peanut M&Ms, Connor!

441
00:15:38,233 --> 00:15:39,033
(SCREAMS)

442
00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,700
(ALL WAILING)

443
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,566
STEWART: Epinephrine OD.

444
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:50,348
Well, uh, Jimmy Dickskin...

445
00:15:50,381 --> 00:15:51,515
Dickins.

446
00:15:51,548 --> 00:15:53,381
Dickskin, that's what I said.

447
00:15:53,415 --> 00:15:54,548
You motioned for an
emergency meeting

448
00:15:54,581 --> 00:15:55,881
and that's why we're all here.

449
00:15:55,915 --> 00:15:57,181
Goddamn
Dickskin's cuttin'

450
00:15:57,215 --> 00:15:58,615
into my gin and tonic time,
that's all I know.

451
00:15:58,648 --> 00:16:00,181
Dickins!

452
00:16:00,215 --> 00:16:02,381
‐That's what I said, Dickskin.
‐(CHUCKLES)

453
00:16:02,415 --> 00:16:03,881
(MUTTERING)
All right, well, Dickskin,

454
00:16:03,915 --> 00:16:04,981
you can have the floor.

455
00:16:05,015 --> 00:16:06,148
MRS. McMURRAY: Dickskin.

456
00:16:06,181 --> 00:16:08,148
After, of course,
we explore the several

457
00:16:08,181 --> 00:16:09,448
Agricultural Hall
related issues

458
00:16:09,481 --> 00:16:11,248
that I have detected
within the last 24 hours.

459
00:16:11,281 --> 00:16:12,548
Pick one!

460
00:16:12,581 --> 00:16:14,581
Well, as I've mentioned,
there are several

461
00:16:14,615 --> 00:16:15,448
so we will begin
with one of them.

462
00:16:15,481 --> 00:16:17,881
Well, don't bore us,
get to the chorus.

463
00:16:17,915 --> 00:16:20,415
Wayne, you're uh,
acting fairly curt.

464
00:16:20,448 --> 00:16:21,848
I'll be fuckin' Courtney

465
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:23,481
if it gets us through
this before Christmas.

466
00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:25,315
I motion Wayne assume

467
00:16:25,348 --> 00:16:27,581
the title of President
of the Ag Hall

468
00:16:27,615 --> 00:16:29,348
effective immediately.
(AUCTIONEERING)

469
00:16:29,381 --> 00:16:30,915
All those in favor,
gonna need one vote.

470
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,081
Do we have one vote?
Are we lookin' at one?

471
00:16:32,115 --> 00:16:33,148
One over here,
now we're gonna need two.

472
00:16:33,181 --> 00:16:34,481
Two down, we got two.
Lookin' at three

473
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:36,381
for Wayne for president
and we'll get it over there.

474
00:16:36,415 --> 00:16:38,015
Now gonna get four,
gonna get four over here.

475
00:16:38,048 --> 00:16:39,515
Now we're gonna have four over
here for Wayne for President.

476
00:16:39,548 --> 00:16:41,181
Can we get five?
What've we got, five?

477
00:16:41,215 --> 00:16:42,381
Five over here now!
We're getting into six.

478
00:16:42,415 --> 00:16:43,615
Six over here,
feels good over here,

479
00:16:43,648 --> 00:16:44,681
now we're lookin' at seven.

480
00:16:44,715 --> 00:16:45,681
Seven over here now, can I
get an eight? Eight now,

481
00:16:45,715 --> 00:16:47,848
‐can we get any more here?
‐(MOUTHS) You shit.

482
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:49,515
No nine, that's all right,
for my friend Wayne.

483
00:16:49,548 --> 00:16:51,148
Celebrate good times.
Baby get along.

484
00:16:51,181 --> 00:16:52,381
Sold!

485
00:16:53,315 --> 00:16:54,615
This is a fuckin' outrage.

486
00:16:54,648 --> 00:16:57,048
You're out of order!
This... It wasn't...

487
00:16:58,215 --> 00:16:59,448
It wasn't motioned.

488
00:17:01,615 --> 00:17:03,881
That's not the right way.

489
00:17:03,915 --> 00:17:05,981
There wasn't a motion.

490
00:17:06,015 --> 00:17:09,415
Well, you're about to find out
how hard this job really is.

491
00:17:09,448 --> 00:17:11,415
You're in the hot seat now,
big boy.

492
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,081
It is fuckin' pipin' hot.

493
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,481
Like 1500 goddamn watts.

494
00:17:14,515 --> 00:17:15,815
Well, you're gonna run 'er.

495
00:17:22,581 --> 00:17:24,015
(MOUTHS) I love you.

496
00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:25,615
(MOUTHS) I love you, so much.

497
00:17:25,648 --> 00:17:27,281
Anything pressing?

498
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:31,515
Back to chorin'.
(BANGS GAVEL)

499
00:17:33,048 --> 00:17:34,381
REILLY: Gotta break the ice
here, boys.

500
00:17:34,415 --> 00:17:35,515
JONESY: We gotta get
the ball rolling, bro.

501
00:17:35,548 --> 00:17:37,348
First impression's
gotta be a good one.

502
00:17:37,381 --> 00:17:39,215
First impression's
a lasting one, buddy.

503
00:17:39,248 --> 00:17:40,381
You thinking
what I'm thinking?

504
00:17:40,415 --> 00:17:41,381
Great minds
think alike, buddy.

505
00:17:43,881 --> 00:17:46,348
You boys wanna go wheel
some snipes after praccy?

506
00:17:46,381 --> 00:17:48,181
Wheel snipe celly, boys.

507
00:17:48,215 --> 00:17:49,581
Dirty fuckin' dangles, boys.

508
00:17:49,615 --> 00:17:51,348
I'm married,
you little bitch.

509
00:17:51,381 --> 00:17:52,448
Yorkie?

510
00:17:52,481 --> 00:17:54,615
Happily married.
Scholtzy?

511
00:17:54,648 --> 00:17:57,881
I love my wife, pussy.
Fisky?

512
00:17:57,915 --> 00:18:00,515
I'd fallen in with the wrong
crowd, went down a dark path.

513
00:18:00,548 --> 00:18:03,348
My wife saved me.
Boomtown?

514
00:18:03,381 --> 00:18:05,348
I love my wife
like I love doing legs.

515
00:18:07,915 --> 00:18:09,481
‐Okay.
‐All right. Um...

516
00:18:09,515 --> 00:18:12,048
You guys wanna
grab some sandos after praccy?

517
00:18:12,081 --> 00:18:13,115
Crush some appies?

518
00:18:13,148 --> 00:18:14,881
I'm gluten‐free,
you little bitch.

519
00:18:14,915 --> 00:18:16,048
Yorkie?

520
00:18:16,081 --> 00:18:18,348
Fuck gluten. Scholtzy?

521
00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:21,048
Gluten gives me
gravy pants, pussy.

522
00:18:21,081 --> 00:18:22,315
Fisky?

523
00:18:22,348 --> 00:18:23,615
Gluten‐free, dairy‐free,

524
00:18:23,648 --> 00:18:25,448
gaseous intestinal
by‐product‐free.

525
00:18:25,481 --> 00:18:26,448
Boomtown?

526
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,381
I love gluten‐free living
like I love my wife.

527
00:18:29,415 --> 00:18:31,881
‐Okay.
‐Uh, yeah.

528
00:18:31,915 --> 00:18:33,348
What... What do you guys
like to do?

529
00:18:33,381 --> 00:18:35,115
Winning, you little bitch.

530
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,181
Yorkie?

531
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:38,181
Love winning.
Scholtzy?

532
00:18:38,215 --> 00:18:40,548
Winning red ribbons, pussy.

533
00:18:40,581 --> 00:18:41,981
Fisky?

534
00:18:42,015 --> 00:18:44,448
Winning hardware,
winning gold. Boomtown?

535
00:18:44,481 --> 00:18:46,215
I love winning like
I love gluten‐free livin'.

536
00:18:48,048 --> 00:18:49,415
Okay, we really need
to pull out the big guns

537
00:18:49,448 --> 00:18:50,481
on this one here, buddy.

538
00:18:50,515 --> 00:18:52,248
Dig deep.
Bear down, buddy, okay?

539
00:18:52,915 --> 00:18:55,081
(BOTH SNIFFING)

540
00:18:55,115 --> 00:18:57,115
Have you boys
ever heard of dinker‐ball?

541
00:18:57,148 --> 00:18:58,948
How about a round
of dinker‐ball, boys?

542
00:18:58,981 --> 00:19:00,048
Dinker‐ball?

543
00:19:00,081 --> 00:19:01,848
Okay, I got this.

544
00:19:01,881 --> 00:19:04,848
Okay... You see, you grab
your dink or your ball.

545
00:19:04,881 --> 00:19:07,248
You scrunch it up in your hand
and then someone has to guess

546
00:19:07,281 --> 00:19:09,015
whether it's a dink or a ball.

547
00:19:10,915 --> 00:19:11,981
Dink or ball?

548
00:19:12,015 --> 00:19:13,315
You fuckin' serious right now?

549
00:19:13,348 --> 00:19:14,415
We don't want to see
your junk, schmelt.

550
00:19:14,448 --> 00:19:15,515
BARTS: Put your junk away,
schmelt.

551
00:19:15,548 --> 00:19:17,448
‐Uh, schmelt?
‐What's schmelt?

552
00:19:17,481 --> 00:19:19,615
So the schmelts
want to play games, Yorkie.

553
00:19:19,648 --> 00:19:20,881
YORKIE: Yeah,
I think we got a game

554
00:19:20,915 --> 00:19:22,115
for the schmelts, Barts.

555
00:19:22,148 --> 00:19:23,215
You like games, right?

556
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:26,515
‐Sure.
‐(DOOR CLOSES)

557
00:19:38,381 --> 00:19:39,415
You're out.

558
00:19:39,448 --> 00:19:41,148
‐Out of what?
‐This.

559
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,248
‐What's this?
‐This...

560
00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:45,148
Is not your crew anymore.

561
00:19:45,181 --> 00:19:48,148
This is not your life anymore.

562
00:19:48,181 --> 00:19:51,115
This is not the weekend.

563
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,981
‐It's Tuesday.
‐(POPS)

564
00:19:53,015 --> 00:19:56,415
‐But this is...
‐Not your basement anymore.

565
00:19:56,448 --> 00:19:58,281
This is my basement now.

566
00:19:59,148 --> 00:20:01,148
And you are not welcome.

567
00:20:04,281 --> 00:20:05,481
Are those loaded?

568
00:20:08,181 --> 00:20:10,115
Only one way to find out.

569
00:20:11,348 --> 00:20:13,215
The great playwright
Anton Chekhov

570
00:20:13,248 --> 00:20:15,448
invented the principle
of Chekhov's Gun.

571
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:19,348
What is the principle
of Chekhov's Gun?

572
00:20:19,381 --> 00:20:20,848
Ha!

573
00:20:20,881 --> 00:20:23,348
If in the first act you say
a gun is in the room,

574
00:20:23,381 --> 00:20:29,281
then in the second act,
it must absolutely go off.

575
00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:32,381
In other words,
if you're gonna bring heat,

576
00:20:33,248 --> 00:20:35,415
you better use it.

577
00:20:35,448 --> 00:20:40,181
I'm preheated to 375,
ready to go to 425, big boy.

578
00:20:40,215 --> 00:20:42,348
Blast off, Major Dongfucker.

579
00:20:45,048 --> 00:20:46,481
(GROWLING)

580
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:50,148
(SNARLING AND YELPING)

581
00:20:51,248 --> 00:20:52,848
(SNARLS)

582
00:20:55,015 --> 00:20:56,481
(RETCHES)

583
00:20:57,581 --> 00:20:59,081
(VOMITS)

584
00:21:00,048 --> 00:21:01,381
(GASPING)

585
00:21:05,148 --> 00:21:07,581
You schmelts ever played
Duck, Duck, Goose?

586
00:21:07,615 --> 00:21:09,848
Yeah, with the four‐ to
six‐year‐old group

587
00:21:09,881 --> 00:21:11,248
we had at hockey
summer camp.

588
00:21:11,281 --> 00:21:12,915
What are we,
four‐ to six‐year‐olds, boys?

589
00:21:12,948 --> 00:21:14,115
I guess you're
four‐ to six‐year‐olds.

590
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,981
(LAUGHS)

591
00:21:16,015 --> 00:21:17,381
You schmelts ready?

592
00:21:17,415 --> 00:21:18,515
Close your eyes.

593
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:22,881
BOTH: Duck.

594
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:24,048
BOTH: Duck.

595
00:21:24,081 --> 00:21:25,415
BOTH: Duck.

596
00:21:25,448 --> 00:21:26,881
BOTH: Duck.

597
00:21:26,915 --> 00:21:27,981
BOTH: Duck.

598
00:21:28,015 --> 00:21:29,081
BOTH: Goose!

599
00:21:29,115 --> 00:21:30,981
(FARTING)

600
00:21:31,015 --> 00:21:32,415
(ALL LAUGHING)

601
00:21:34,881 --> 00:21:36,048
Schmelts are gongshows, boys.

602
00:21:36,081 --> 00:21:37,381
Schmelts are gongers.

603
00:21:37,415 --> 00:21:38,581
This is better
than doing legs,

604
00:21:38,615 --> 00:21:40,381
you little bitch. Yorkie?

605
00:21:40,415 --> 00:21:42,148
Let's do legs right now.
Scholtzy?

606
00:21:42,181 --> 00:21:44,215
I love doing legs, pussy.
Fisky?

607
00:21:44,248 --> 00:21:47,281
Stairs. Works calves,
quads, glutes. Boomtown?

608
00:21:47,315 --> 00:21:49,581
I love doing stairs
like I love winning.

609
00:21:49,615 --> 00:21:51,015
Let's do this, boys!

610
00:21:51,048 --> 00:21:52,448
(ALL CHEERING)

611
00:21:54,248 --> 00:21:56,181
(RHYTHMIC GRUNTING)

612
00:22:01,315 --> 00:22:03,281
How many games
in this season, buddy?

613
00:22:04,348 --> 00:22:06,215
42, buddy.

614
00:22:06,248 --> 00:22:07,515
(SNIFFS)

615
00:22:08,648 --> 00:22:10,181
Do you have any baby wipes?

616
00:22:11,148 --> 00:22:12,448
I don't, buddy.

617
00:22:21,415 --> 00:22:22,215
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

618
00:22:31,615 --> 00:22:33,148
There's been...

619
00:22:34,115 --> 00:22:35,481
An uprising.

620
00:22:35,515 --> 00:22:36,515
K.

621
00:22:37,915 --> 00:22:39,948
‐I'm homeless.
‐K.

622
00:22:39,981 --> 00:22:41,348
‐Wayne.
‐Hard no.

623
00:22:41,381 --> 00:22:43,381
If a man asks you for help,
you help him.

624
00:22:43,415 --> 00:22:45,481
You're gonna work the ground
game, then, huh, Katy?

625
00:22:45,515 --> 00:22:46,881
If you asked me for help...

626
00:22:48,381 --> 00:22:49,348
I would help you.

627
00:22:49,381 --> 00:22:52,348
Oh, look, they're comin'
land, sea and air now.

628
00:22:52,381 --> 00:22:54,281
‐You can stay here.
‐Wondrous!

629
00:22:54,315 --> 00:22:56,481
‐For a couple of days.
‐Favorable.

630
00:22:56,515 --> 00:22:58,848
That's 48 hours, max.

631
00:23:00,381 --> 00:23:01,848
Satisfactory.

632
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,415
(SIGHS) We'll put your shit
in the spare bedroom.

633
00:23:05,448 --> 00:23:06,848
Come on.

634
00:23:11,381 --> 00:23:13,015
(CAR APPROACHING)

635
00:23:16,048 --> 00:23:17,548
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)

636
00:23:19,881 --> 00:23:21,148
(MUSIC STOPS)

637
00:23:27,481 --> 00:23:29,015
WAYNE: Hold it!

638
00:23:29,048 --> 00:23:31,115
End of the laneway.
Don't come on the property.

639
00:23:31,148 --> 00:23:33,081
‐Rematch.
‐K.

640
00:23:34,881 --> 00:23:36,448
Knocked you out.
Can't believe you got back up.

641
00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:37,915
You come here
to throw fists

642
00:23:37,948 --> 00:23:39,115
or flap lips there,
big shooter?

643
00:23:39,148 --> 00:23:40,248
You suckered him.

644
00:23:40,281 --> 00:23:41,881
Still knocked him
the fuck out.

645
00:23:41,915 --> 00:23:42,981
Then he got back up
and knocked you out.

646
00:23:43,015 --> 00:23:45,215
‐So rubber match then.
‐We already established that.

647
00:23:45,248 --> 00:23:46,248
Unless you wanna
do some more talking.

648
00:23:46,281 --> 00:23:48,348
Good amount of chin‐wagging
goin' on over there.

649
00:23:49,148 --> 00:23:50,848
All right, I suckered you.

650
00:23:50,881 --> 00:23:52,115
So we shake hands,
clear the air,

651
00:23:52,148 --> 00:23:53,348
then we square off.

652
00:23:53,381 --> 00:23:54,548
Good enough.

653
00:23:58,615 --> 00:24:00,915
(UPTEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

654
00:24:23,048 --> 00:24:25,048
(EXHALES)

655
00:24:25,081 --> 00:24:26,281
You're fuckin' 10 ply, bud.

656
00:24:28,248 --> 00:24:30,015
(UPBEAT MUSIC)