1 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,930 [upbeat electronic music] 2 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:19,854 ♪♪ 3 00:00:43,753 --> 00:00:45,546 DiGiorno, Captain! 4 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,006 - Arnold! - Ha ha! 5 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,675 - [both screaming] - Ha ha! 6 00:00:49,759 --> 00:00:52,094 What are you doing here? I thought you were coming in the afternoon. 7 00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,513 I took an earlier flight. I wanted to surprise you, bud. 8 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:57,057 Wait, my landlord said there's a beautiful woman downstairs. 9 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:58,934 I told him to say that. I thought it'd be cute. 10 00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:01,937 Ugh, I met this girl the other day, and I lost her phone number. 11 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:02,938 I thought it was her. 12 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:05,274 Oh, I'm sorry, man. Just me. 13 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,443 Guess my cute prank took a dark turn. 14 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,403 Anyway, Arnie's in Italia. 15 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,947 Let's get those jammies off, and let's get some tasty treats. 16 00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:14,325 Certol That means "of course." 17 00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:22,291 ♪♪ 18 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,537 So this is Mercato Albinelli. 19 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:03,165 It's where I get all my produce, meats, cheeses, everything. 20 00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:04,792 - It's the best. - Wow, it's amazing. 21 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,669 It's like an Italian wonderland in here. 22 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:07,628 I know. 23 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,511 Ooh. 24 00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,429 [in English] Try one of these. 25 00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:19,890 Mmm. 26 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:23,227 Mamma mia, these strawberries are bomb, Cap! 27 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,604 So what's the deal? Can you just try anything? 28 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,274 Or are then you known as a try-and-not-buy guy? 29 00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,692 'Cause Arnie wants to try, 30 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,193 but I know you got a rep in this town. 31 00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:32,319 I don't want to tarn that name. 32 00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:33,362 No, no, we can try. 33 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,657 [in English] So should we just become Italians? 34 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,994 I mean, I'm so America'd out right now. 35 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,203 Are you gonna stay here forever? 36 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:44,164 Well, I'm done with my apprenticeship at the pasta shop, 37 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:46,292 and after our buds weekend, 38 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,878 I can either keep working there, or I can go back to New York. 39 00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:50,629 - I haven't really decided. - Yeah. 40 00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:51,922 Ooh, you got to try this cheese. 41 00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:53,090 Ooh, yeah. 42 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:55,551 Ciao. 43 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,137 Mmm. 44 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,014 Oh! 45 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,391 So what's up with Rachel? Do you guys talk? 46 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:06,020 Well, about a month or so ago, I told her I thought it's best if probably 47 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,229 we didn't really talk anymore. 48 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,105 Yeah. 49 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,441 She emailed me last week for my birthday, 50 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,109 and we've been texting a little bit. 51 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,028 You guys think you'll ever get back together? 52 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,279 I don't know. 53 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,239 But it was fun to flirt and joke around with someone. 54 00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:18,741 I got no girls here. 55 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,034 Yeah, you got not girls, 56 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,077 but you got some amazing bites. 57 00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,704 So what do you want to do next? 58 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,749 I mean, I pretty much just plan on us eating all day 59 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,208 with very minimal breaks. 60 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,209 I'm into it. 61 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:32,338 I downed a whole bottle of Pepcid AC on the plane. 62 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,381 I'm all pepped up and ready to go. 63 00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:36,133 Andiamo. 64 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,637 [both] ♪ Eating in Italy is my favorite thing ♪ 65 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,598 ♪ Eating in Italy is my favorite thing ♪ 66 00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,558 Dude, so what's going on with you? 67 00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:46,852 How's everything in New York? What's the lady situation? 68 00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,355 To be honest with you, man, Arnold is a menace right now. 69 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,523 I signed up for all the online dating stuff, 70 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:52,650 and it's totally working. 71 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,360 So you're just hooking up all the time? 72 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,236 I mean, yeah, but it's not just about the sex. 73 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,780 I'm meeting amazing people. 74 00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:00,240 Check out this girl Kristen. 75 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:01,742 - Bella! - I know. 76 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,285 She's an artist. She makes me laugh. 77 00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:04,453 She's gorge. 78 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,497 She actually took me on a trip upstate. 79 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,749 We fed a duck. I fell out of a tire swing. 80 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:09,875 I'm in love. 81 00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:12,169 Ooh, by the way, can you take a video for me? 82 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,046 Sure. 83 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,177 - How's it look? - Good. 84 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,888 Oh, this is perfect! 85 00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:24,807 I'm gonna send it to her. 86 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,851 "Hi, cutie." [chuckles] 87 00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:30,813 Does that really work? 88 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,815 Dude, who wouldn't want to date this guy'? 89 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,775 He loves food. He loves travel. 90 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,110 He's devilishly handsome, 91 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,320 and he knows how to do a classic wave and kiss. 92 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,490 So you're getting pretty serious about her? 93 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:43,409 I'm not trying to get serious with anyone right now, really. 94 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,203 I'm just playing the field, seeing new people, 95 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,955 going on some adventures. 96 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,958 I mean, look at this girl, Candace. 97 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,252 - Mamma mia! - I met her on Tall Boys. 98 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,754 It's an app for girls that want to date big boys like me. 99 00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:56,922 I'm cleaning up. 100 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:59,341 I'm way bigger than most of the guys on there. 101 00:04:59,425 --> 00:05:01,010 Check out my profile pic. 102 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,096 Hey, don't put me in your Tall Boys profile! 103 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:07,307 Come on, Dev, big bud needs little bud for perspective. 104 00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,059 You make me look huge. 105 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:10,519 All right, but if they make a Little Boys app, 106 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,562 I'm using that same pic. 107 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:14,356 Then again, probably shouldn't get on an app called Little Boys. 108 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,317 Ooh, I'm gonna send her the "hi, cutie." 109 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,944 Hi, cutie! 110 00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:20,487 Wait, you're sending that girl the same GIF? 111 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:21,613 They're all getting "hi, cuties"? 112 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:24,116 Well, I want to say hi, and they're definitely all cuties. 113 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:25,284 Let me make you one. 114 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,202 All right. 115 00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:28,787 And go. 116 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,459 [laughs] That's great! 117 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,626 [laughs] 118 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,754 Wait. Check this out. 119 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,338 That's pretty good. 120 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:40,007 Maybe I can send it to Brian. 121 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,343 Everything all set for Tuscany? 122 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:44,553 Yep, everything's in order. 123 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,764 We got the Airbnb, the rental car. 124 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,058 I got some thoughts on that new Danish TV series 125 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:50,476 everyone's talking about. 126 00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,144 - We have to discuss that. - Sure. 127 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,937 And all your wedding stuffs on Saturday, right? 128 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:56,273 Yeah, not too much time away from my cap. 129 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,650 Are you sure you don't want to be my plus-one? 130 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,778 Yeah, I'm not a huge "strangers' wedding" guy. 131 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,155 I'll just grab a nice solo dinner somewhere. 132 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:06,325 Is that code for staying in and jerking off at the Airbnb? 133 00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,577 Uh, no, can't jerk off in Airbnbs. 134 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,120 Why? You jerk off at hotels. 135 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,830 It's different. This is someone's home. 136 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:14,249 Agree to disagree. 137 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,334 [bicycle bell dings] 138 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,922 [gentle music] 139 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:25,177 ♪♪ 140 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,679 - Ah, there it is. - Wow. 141 00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:30,933 Osteria Francescana, the number-one restaurant in the world. 142 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:33,352 Dude, we got to check this place out while we're in town. 143 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,394 Pfft. Believe me, I've been trying. 144 00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,396 They're booked up for, like, the next ten years. 145 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,689 That's why it's crazy... 146 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:39,858 I got you a resy as a birthday gift. 147 00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:42,361 - Wait, what? - Yeah, tomorrow night. 148 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,403 How? How? How? 149 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:46,031 You know my Aunt Edeltraud supplies the meat slicers here. 150 00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:49,076 Baumheiser Slicers are the best in the biz, baby, 151 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,494 and she knows Chef Massimo. 152 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:51,620 She hooked it up. 153 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:52,913 - You're serious? - Yes! 154 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,248 - Big bud and little bud are eating here? - Yes! 155 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,834 - I'm freaking out. - We're in! We're in! 156 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,211 [both] We're in! We're in! We're in! 157 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:00,212 I'm gonna need a bud bump. 158 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:01,213 Come on in! 159 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,464 [both] Boing! 160 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,299 - Hey, guys. - Hello. 161 00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:05,968 So first course... 162 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,554 lentils, almost better than caviar. 163 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:10,264 Ah! 164 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:11,932 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 165 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,351 Next course... autumn in New York. 166 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,645 I gave the shape of a apple, like the Big Apple... 167 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:17,938 Oh, whoa. 168 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,274 ...with an extraction of mushroom and truffle. 169 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,192 [upbeat electronic music] 170 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,528 [Dev] Oh, God! Oh, oh, oh! 171 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,573 Next is my plate. It's tortellini. 172 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:30,659 One is very small, and this is a little bit bigger. 173 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:31,577 Grazie. 174 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:32,995 It's like the little bud, big bud of pasta. 175 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:35,664 Mmm. 176 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,957 This is me before. This is me now. 177 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,083 I've peaked. 178 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,794 [both] ♪ Francescana is my favorite place ♪ 179 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:43,881 ♪ Francescana is my favorite place ♪ 180 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,176 Wow. 181 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,970 Mmm. 182 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,974 All right, I need to, like, step out for a little bit of air for a sec. 183 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,100 I'll be right back. 184 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:56,476 Okay. 185 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:57,811 Is it okay if I finish this? 186 00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:58,979 No! 187 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,114 Hi, cutie. 188 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,017 [Sighs] 189 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,359 [cell phone chimes] 190 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:48,362 [somber music] 191 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,323 ♪♪ 192 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:15,847 Fuck. 193 00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:19,685 [upbeat electronic music] 194 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:25,899 ♪♪ 195 00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:30,904 [Dev] Ooh, so the Wedding's near this town called Pienza. 196 00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:33,991 It's supposed to have the most amazing Pecorino cheese. 197 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,492 And you know what else I heard is cool? 198 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,577 Is, like, renting scooters and just riding through the-- 199 00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,579 I'm sorry, man. Can we talk about this later? 200 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,790 I get a little nervous driving in these small towns. 201 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,875 Sure, sure. No problem. 202 00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:48,380 - [Dev] All right. - [Arnold] Wait, so we take a left here? 203 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:52,342 Mm, yeah, GPS says take a left down this alley. 204 00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,726 I don't know, Cap. It looks pretty tight. 205 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:03,020 Yeah, uh, you know what? Let's back up. 206 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,604 Let me double-check the GPS. 207 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,732 Maybe it thinks we're in a different spot. 208 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,525 I'll refresh. 209 00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:13,447 No, it says we're supposed to make this left. 210 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:16,783 - [horn honks] - [man shouting in Italian] 211 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,535 Whoa. 212 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,787 Well, that truck just ripped through. 213 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,622 I think we'll be fine. Let's just fold the mirrors in. 214 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:24,416 Okay. 215 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,542 [Dev] Let's go. 216 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,632 [Dev] Just take it slow. 217 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,301 Looking good. 218 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,386 [Dev] Slow, slow. You're good on this side. 219 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,889 It's really tight over here, man. 220 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,599 [Dev] Uh, y-you got a little space here. 221 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,225 Just go to the right a little bit. 222 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,852 - Easy, easy. - We got room over there? 223 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,604 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You sure? 224 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:46,938 W-wait, wait, wait. 225 00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,816 Ooh, yah. 226 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:50,859 - Keep going. - [engine revs] 227 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,527 I can't! We're fucking stuck! 228 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:53,987 What? Shit. 229 00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,322 I thought you said we're good on that side. 230 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:57,199 But then I said, "Wait, wait, wait." 231 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,492 What the fuck do we do? 232 00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,910 I don't know, man. 233 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,745 Oh, fuck, man, we're really stuck. 234 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,705 - Try to reverse. - Hold on. 235 00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:05,999 - [engine revs] - Give it a little more gas. 236 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:08,085 I am giving it gas! We're not moving anywhere. 237 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,211 - [horn honks] - All right, calm down! 238 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,630 Don't get mad at me! It's not my fault! It's the fucking walls'! 239 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:12,964 - [horn honking] - There's fucking cars piling up. 240 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:13,924 All right, hold on. 241 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,135 [Arnold] Oh, fuck, this is my worst nightmare, man. 242 00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:18,804 Okay, all right, I'll climb out of the sunroof. 243 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,514 - I should be able to get out. - Go get help. 244 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,557 - [horn honks] - Okay. 245 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:25,102 - [woman shouting in Italian] - Well, you come out, too, man. 246 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,937 - What are you talking about? - Let's get out of here. 247 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,563 Let's just try to go get help. 248 00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:30,899 [horn honking] 249 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,693 [shouting continues] 250 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,696 All right, climb out, man. 251 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,824 [groans] I'm stuck! 252 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,618 - Oh, no. - What the fuck, man? 253 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,412 Okay, hold on. Let me get a photo. 254 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,247 Are you fucking kidding me? Go get help. 255 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,207 It'll be good for your Tall Boys profile. 256 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,708 [clicks tongue] Perspective. 257 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,085 Aah! 258 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,920 - [Dev] Oh, that's good. - [camera shutter clicks] 259 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,547 All right, I'll be right back. 260 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:56,007 Hurry, Cap, I'm stuck in two different ways! 261 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:57,092 [groans] 262 00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:01,012 [horn blares] 263 00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:07,686 All right, so they pulled the car out, and it's okay to drive. 264 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,313 - Should we head out? - Yeah, sure. 265 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,650 Do you need a minute? You want to go grab some food or something? 266 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,110 - Are you a little shaken up? - No. 267 00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,320 Um, to be honest, I'm just thinking about this wedding, man, 268 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,281 and I got to come clean. 269 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,907 It's not just a friend's wedding. 270 00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:22,826 It's actually my ex, Ellen's. 271 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,580 Oh, is this, like, a serious ex or more of a "hi, cutie" type situation? 272 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,623 No, like, serious ex. 273 00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:31,543 Like, 11 years, almost had kids, the whole thing. 274 00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,295 Whoa. 275 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,255 Yeah, and I was looking at pictures of us online, 276 00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:37,466 and I was like, "Did I fuck this up?" 277 00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:40,302 Like, we had this real intense love, 278 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,220 and now she's getting married. 279 00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:43,805 Why'd you guys break up'? 280 00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:47,767 I don't know. After 11 years, you know, the passion kind of disappears, 281 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:51,521 and we, like, became more like roommates and not really lovers, 282 00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:54,649 and at the end, she said I wasn't, like, her type physically. 283 00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:56,985 Hmm. 284 00:12:57,068 --> 00:13:00,614 Well, um, you guys are both probably totally different people now, right? 285 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,283 And it was so long ago. Uh, what is that phrase? 286 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,827 Um, sometimes you meet people for a reason. 287 00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,329 Sometimes you meet 'em for a season. 288 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,207 [chuckles] I like that. It rhymes. 289 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:15,295 But how do you know who's for the season and who's for the reason? 290 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,297 I don't know. I just know that one rhymed. 291 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,299 That's not very helpful. 292 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,010 But... [sighs] 293 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:24,429 You could do me a favor, man, and come to this wedding with me. 294 00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:25,555 It'll make me feel a lot better. 295 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:28,225 - Yeah, of course I'll come. - Oh, thank you so much, man. 296 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,226 Yeah. 297 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,811 Um, also, do you think you could give me a back rub? 298 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,980 'Cause I have a lot of tension in the old delts back there 299 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,941 because of the car thing. 300 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:37,234 I'm not giving you a back rub. 301 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,110 Worth a shot. 302 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,030 [birds chirping] 303 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,328 - [Dev] Good breakfast, right? - [Arnold] Yeah. 304 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:51,623 - [Dev] It was a great cappuccino. - [Arnold] Mm-hmm. 305 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,208 [Dev sighs] How you feeling? 306 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,293 I'm good, uh, but I just got to tell you, 307 00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:57,671 I haven't seen Ellen in many, many years, 308 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,464 and I may freak the fuck out. 309 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,092 So I need you to have eyes on me at all times. 310 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,553 Don't let me out of your sights. 311 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:05,845 Okay. 312 00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:07,055 [indistinct chatter] 313 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,181 [man speaking Italian] 314 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:09,558 [Dev]Ciao. 315 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,146 That's good champagne. 316 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,149 [Arnold] DiGiorno. 317 00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:23,154 [gentle guitar music] 318 00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,739 ♪♪ 319 00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,283 Dude, that's Ellen. 320 00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,829 - Stay strong, buddy. - [sighs] 321 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,209 Is that the groom? 322 00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:37,836 Are you fucking kidding me? 323 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:40,255 He looks exactly like me. 324 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,506 There's definitely a strong resemblance. 325 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,633 That sneaky, bearded fuck. 326 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:44,759 Hold me back, Captain. Hold me back. 327 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,095 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Hold on, you're bigger than me. 328 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,639 - He's stealing Arnie's essence - Calm down. 329 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,558 I'm gonna go up to Ellen and tell her I love her, 330 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,184 and we're gonna cancel this whole fucking wedding. 331 00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:54,686 No. Eat this melon. 332 00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,231 Mmm, that is good melon. 333 00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:00,150 All right, stop freaking out. 334 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,235 He's coming over here. Be cool. You cool? 335 00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:04,654 - You must be Arnold. - Hello, Bernard. 336 00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:08,908 Um, hi. I'm Dev, a friend of Arnold's. 337 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,452 It's really beautiful here. 338 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:12,537 Yeah, it's okay. 339 00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,122 I'm glad you guys could make it. 340 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:17,375 So, looks like you went with the gray blazer. 341 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,961 A bit pedestrian, don't you think? 342 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:24,049 I usually dress with a little more panache for a special occasion like this. 343 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,761 You look very nice. 344 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,180 Well, good day to you, sir. Hope you enjoy the event. 345 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,640 Thanks. 346 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,310 Oh, okay. 347 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,730 [Bernard] Uh, nice meeting you. 348 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,857 That tiny little fuck. I'm gonna kill him. 349 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,692 Melon now! 350 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,655 Oh. 351 00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,376 [cell phone bloops] 352 00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:16,518 Dude, I had a bunch of melon. I'm chill. 353 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,561 I'm just gonna go in for a quick, polite hello. 354 00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:20,230 - No problems. - All right, okay. 355 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,235 Ciao, Ellen. 356 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,862 Arnold, wow! Oh, my God. 357 00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:29,698 Wow, you look "gorgisimo." 358 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,449 Thank you very much. [chuckles] 359 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,159 Thank you. 360 00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:34,703 So what's going on? 361 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,329 I'm getting married. 362 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:37,914 - Oh, right, of course. - [Ellen chuckles] 363 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,666 This is my friend Dev. 364 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,835 - [Ellen] Hi! Nice to meet you. - Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you. 365 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,671 - What a beautiful wedding. I-- - So... 366 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,756 I'm not your type physically? 367 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,258 What? 368 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:52,053 And here we are, you marrying a man that may as well be my doppelganger. 369 00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,055 It's a German word for twin. 370 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:56,307 Yeah, I do know what "doppelganger" means. 371 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,268 Congratulations, Ellen! 372 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,644 - Let me give you a hug. - Hi, Aunt Jeanie. 373 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:01,563 Excuse me, Aunt Jeanie. 374 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,022 We were talking here. 375 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,065 Arnold. 376 00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,400 Ellen, I love you. 377 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:06,735 Let's get out of here. 378 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,486 Let me take you away forever. 379 00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,488 - Take my hand. - Arnold, um-- 380 00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:12,073 Um, why don't you take my hand, buddy? 381 00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,867 He's kidding. Come on, come on, bud. 382 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,202 Polite hello. You were doing good, too. 383 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,454 Can I have some more melon? 384 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,955 No. Melon's for good boys. 385 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,252 Dude, I'm sorry for freaking out out there. 386 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:27,756 I'll be fine. I just need a couple minutes just to breathe. 387 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:29,883 I think we should get out of here, man. 388 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,676 Let's do something to take your mind off this. 389 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,886 What do you want to do? 390 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,639 Go to that town, eat that cheese you were talking about. 391 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,600 That's a good idea. I'll even drive. 392 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,227 I got a better idea. 393 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:44,522 [upbeat electronic music] 394 00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:50,028 ♪♪ 395 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,906 Pecorino semi-fresco. 396 00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,991 Mmm, Arnie likes. 397 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,785 Spritz? 398 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:58,203 [both] Cin! 399 00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,370 [Dev] Pasta? 400 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:00,538 [Arnold] Yes. 401 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,917 Love you, pasta. [smooches] 402 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,084 [slurps] 403 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,920 Mmm! 404 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:13,927 ♪♪ 405 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,305 Thanks, man. I needed this. 406 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:18,890 I hear you. 407 00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:22,227 Must be hard seeing someone you loved for that long get married. 408 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,646 Yeah, and the scary thing is I'm getting older. 409 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:27,398 I'm wondering if I'm ever gonna find that connection again. 410 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,776 Yeah, I think about that stuff, too, 411 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:32,612 but I don't think you wanted to marry Ellen. 412 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,030 Listen to the way you're talking about it. 413 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:37,283 You're coming from a place of fear, not from a place of love. 414 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,035 Yeah, you are right about that, 415 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:42,247 but there's no denying that Ellen really shaped me, 416 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,873 who I am today. 417 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,291 What do you mean? 418 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,086 You know, when I was in high school, I was this skinny, dorky kid. 419 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,546 I was getting no girls. 420 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,131 Then I went to college, and I started playing in a band. 421 00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:53,424 You know I played bass, right? 422 00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:55,802 Yeah, I've seen those Throwback Thursday pics. 423 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:59,097 So one day I did this big show with my band, Cheesesteak Armageddon. 424 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,891 I met Ellen backstage, I took her out on a date, 425 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,977 and she totally changed everything. 426 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,564 She, like, introduced me to art and food and wine and... 427 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,524 S-she got me into artichokes. 428 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,776 [clicks tongue, sighs] 429 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,820 That was a long time ago. 430 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,364 The Arnold I know is not a relationship guy. 431 00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:19,033 Remember how much fun you were having bopping out those "hi, cuties." 432 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:21,160 Yeah, "hi, cuties" are fun, but they're stupid. 433 00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:24,581 [sighs] Yeah, but... 434 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,917 you did seem to be genuinely enjoying those adventures. 435 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,378 Remember the tire swing? Remember feeding that duck? 436 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:33,381 [chuckles] That duck was cute. 437 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:37,051 I don't think you're ready to settle down. 438 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:40,179 Have fun being single. You'll meet someone... 439 00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:41,806 I hope. 440 00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,850 I hope I do, too. 441 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,437 Damn, this is beautiful. 442 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:53,151 - Hey, can you take a pic of me? - Sure. 443 00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,033 - I love this pose. - [camera shutter clicks] 444 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,492 There you go. Pretty good. 445 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:04,287 Oh-oh-oh! That's a great one. 446 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,290 What are you doing? 447 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:11,085 I'm sending this pic to duck girl. What do you think? 448 00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:13,087 "Guess who's thinking about you." 449 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,214 Ooh, ooh. 450 00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:17,091 She's writing back. 451 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,385 "Miss you, big boy. When you coming home?" 452 00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:21,638 - I'm back, man. - [Dev laughs] 453 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,641 All right, should we go back to this wedding? 454 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,684 Yeah, that's probably the right thing to do. 455 00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,144 Let's do it. 456 00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:35,234 [man] I am simply overjoyed that Ellen will have Bernard by her side 457 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:37,820 - to share sunsets... - [Arnold] Fuck. 458 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:40,323 - You think we missed the food'? - Yeah, and the ceremony. 459 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,824 [man]...for the rest of their years. 460 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:46,871 And so to quote Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 461 00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,749 "We are only as strong as we are united, 462 00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:52,418 as weak as we are divided." 463 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:55,630 Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Bialik. 464 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,465 - [man] Bravo. - I'm gonna go say something. 465 00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:59,884 - Wait. No. - I know what I'm doing. I'll be fine. 466 00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:01,302 [indistinct chatter] 467 00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,429 Excuse me, excuse me. 468 00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:06,265 - Hi, I'd like to make a toast, please. - [glass clinking] 469 00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:08,559 Uh, my name is Arnold Baumheiser. 470 00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:11,396 I'm a long-term ex-boyfriend of the bride. 471 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:13,731 [laughter] 472 00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,775 I'm serious. Stop laughing. 473 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:21,906 Ellen, I came here today to object to this union. 474 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,701 In fact, earlier today I told you I loved you, 475 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,704 and I'm pretty sure you weren't into it. 476 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,957 But after some unpasteurized cheese 477 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,210 and some sage advice from my little bud over there, 478 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,379 I know I was misguided. 479 00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:39,549 Ellen, I do love you, but not in that way. 480 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:43,261 We're just not going down that same path of life together anymore. 481 00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:46,055 You're on your path, and I'm on mine. 482 00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:48,933 And I hope your path is filled with happiness and fulfillment. 483 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:53,021 Bernard, you may be a smaller Arnold 484 00:21:53,104 --> 00:21:55,773 and some might even say a fake Arnold, 485 00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:58,651 but if Ellen loves you, you must have a huge heart. 486 00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:01,863 So I love you both. Cheers to the bride and groom. 487 00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:03,531 - [applause] - [man] Bravo. 488 00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:05,408 [all] Cheers. 489 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,579 [smooth dance music] 490 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:16,210 ♪♪ 491 00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:19,756 [indistinct chatter] 492 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,646 - [cell phone bloops] - Dude, are you seeing this? 493 00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:39,442 I'm dancing with the most beautiful girl, and she lives in New York, buddy. 494 00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,111 ♪ Being single is my favorite thing ♪ 495 00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:45,364 ♪ Being single is my favorite thing ♪ 496 00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:46,574 What about you? 497 00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:48,659 You bopping off any of those "hi, cutie" GIFs or what? 498 00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:51,245 I don't even have anyone to send it to. 499 00:22:51,329 --> 00:22:53,873 [sighs] That's a bummer, man. 500 00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:56,084 But you know the thing about love is that it's-- 501 00:22:56,167 --> 00:22:58,669 Hey everybody! It's raining! 502 00:22:58,753 --> 00:23:00,797 - Let's jump in the pool! - [all cheering] 503 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,465 Cap, we got to jump in. 504 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:03,883 Yeah! 505 00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:05,718 [all cheering] 506 00:23:05,802 --> 00:23:07,011 No, I'm not getting in the pool. 507 00:23:07,095 --> 00:23:08,429 It's Captain's orders. 508 00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:12,725 Take off that fancy jacket, pop those loafers, and we're taking a dip. 509 00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:13,851 [all cheering wildly] 510 00:23:13,935 --> 00:23:16,062 - All right. - Yes. 511 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:17,146 [Aunt Jeanie screams] 512 00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:20,983 [Arnold and Dev]Uno, due, tre! 513 00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:29,325 [funky music] 514 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,702 ♪♪ 515 00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:33,246 [Dev]Everybody... 516 00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:35,581 [all] ♪ Swimming in Italy is my favorite thing ♪ 517 00:23:35,665 --> 00:23:38,584 ♪ Swimming in Italy is my favorite thing ♪ 518 00:23:38,668 --> 00:23:40,044 [all cheering] 519 00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:43,047 [gentle music] 520 00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:45,049 ♪♪ 521 00:24:16,372 --> 00:24:17,540 Ciao. 522 00:24:18,332 --> 00:24:20,543 - [in English] I'm leaving you. - I know. 523 00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:22,336 Did you ever think you'd spend so much time making pasta 524 00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:23,629 with an Indian man? 525 00:24:23,713 --> 00:24:25,381 What will you do in New York? 526 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:26,841 I don't know. 527 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:28,301 It's been really great working here. 528 00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:29,802 Very inspirational. 529 00:24:29,886 --> 00:24:32,180 Seeing you guys doing something you're passionate about, 530 00:24:32,263 --> 00:24:33,306 working with your hands, 531 00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:36,184 putting your heart and soul into the pasta. 532 00:24:36,267 --> 00:24:39,145 Maybe I'll keep practicing, open up my own pasta shop in New York. 533 00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:40,396 Oh, yeah, maybe. 534 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:41,939 Yeah, you can come visit and work for me. 535 00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:43,357 Why should I work for you? 536 00:24:43,441 --> 00:24:44,775 I mean, I'm better than you. 537 00:24:44,859 --> 00:24:47,361 I can come and open my own "competiting" shop. 538 00:24:47,445 --> 00:24:48,696 Your own "competiting" shop? 539 00:24:48,779 --> 00:24:49,655 Maybe people will come to mine 540 00:24:49,739 --> 00:24:51,490 when they want someone that can speak proper English. 541 00:24:51,574 --> 00:24:52,658 It's "competing." 542 00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:55,411 Okay, whatever, competing. [giggles] 543 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,205 Give me a hug. 544 00:24:57,288 --> 00:24:58,915 Certo. 545 00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:00,499 - Ciao. - Ciao. 546 00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:02,627 Keep practicing your English. It's very bad. 547 00:25:02,710 --> 00:25:03,711 Thank you. 548 00:25:05,588 --> 00:25:07,465 [laughs] 549 00:25:11,677 --> 00:25:13,137 Shannon. 550 00:25:13,221 --> 00:25:17,141 It's your favorite and only Indian client Dev. 551 00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:18,309 What's up? 552 00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:21,771 [Shannon]So you're back in New York, huh? Mr. Chef Boyardee. 553 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:24,357 I've gotten your emails. Please stop calling me that. 554 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:25,942 Okay, well, look, you here to work, 555 00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:27,526 or are you still making SpaghettiOs? 556 00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:30,363 [sighs] Um, honestly, I-I don't know what I'm doing. 557 00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:32,406 You know, I-I just got back last week. 558 00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:35,910 Well, I got an audition for you, and it's pretty interesting 559 00:25:35,993 --> 00:25:38,746 It's food-related, and I know you like that shit. 560 00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:39,747 I do like food. 561 00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:42,124 The best part is that it's easy, Dev, 562 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,293 and it pays that good money! 563 00:25:44,377 --> 00:25:45,628 What is it? 564 00:25:47,088 --> 00:25:50,007 [dramatic music] 565 00:25:50,091 --> 00:25:52,176 ♪♪ 566 00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:54,929 In just a few moments, two of the country's top bakers 567 00:25:55,012 --> 00:25:57,139 will face off in the ultimate batter battle. 568 00:25:57,223 --> 00:26:01,269 They'll be judged on taste, originality, and presentation. 569 00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:03,187 What'll be our judges' cupcake conclusion? 570 00:26:03,271 --> 00:26:05,189 I'm your host, Dev Shah. 571 00:26:05,273 --> 00:26:08,567 This is Clash of the Cupcakes. 572 00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:11,654 [funky music] 573 00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:18,035 ♪♪