1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,508
I feel like there should be an app
that analyzes your tum

2
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,384
and tells you what you want to eat.

3
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:12,179
Yeah, but... [sighs]
if the app could do that,

4
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,640
you're basically saying
it could read your mind.

5
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,808
Yeah, I guess.

6
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,392
But, dude, you think that's a good idea?

7
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,269
I mean,
what if it gets in the wrong hands?

8
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,395
It could do some malicious shit.

9
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:24,107
Thinking about the military,
some corporate espionage.

10
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,567
Do you really want to risk all that?

11
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:26,485
Yeah.

12
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,403
Think about all the pain and suffering
it could end.

13
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:29,321
Like right now.

14
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,990
I want something to eat,
but I don't know what.

15
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,115
Dude, I'm hungry too.

16
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,034
Let's eat. I'm good with whatever.

17
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,327
Why do people always say that?

18
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,328
That's no help at all.

19
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,746
"I'm good with whatever" basically means

20
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,540
"I'm bad at helping decide things."

21
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:43,210
Well, I'm trying this new thing
where I live my life like water.

22
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:47,214
You see, what ships pass through
and what those vessels carry,

23
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,841
I do not know.

24
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,176
- What about tacos?
- Sure.

25
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:52,469
Which place should we go to?

26
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,221
Literally any taco place.

27
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,306
Come on. There's so many taco places.

28
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,141
We got to make sure we go to the best one.

29
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,226
I'll do some research.

30
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,228
Great. I'll sit here and do nothing.

31
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:06,107
[electronic music]

32
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:13,198
♪ ♪

33
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,672
Tacos Morelos?

34
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:30,507
Sounds good to me.

35
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,717
Yeah!

36
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:32,843
Oh, yeah.

37
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:35,971
- Whoo-whee, tacos!
- Yeah, baby.

38
00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:39,266
Oh, my God, so many delicious options.

39
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,226
- Hey, man.
- Oh.

40
00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:43,520
What do you think the move here is,
order-wise?

41
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,356
Um, my favorite's the barbacoa.

42
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,484
Okay, well,
our personal tastes may be different.

43
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,779
What would you say
is the most popular one?

44
00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,449
Probably the chicken or the carnitas.

45
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,366
I don't know.

46
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,701
Well, between those,

47
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,036
which do people seem to like more?

48
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,328
Like, when you watch their faces,

49
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,496
who seems happier,

50
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,124
the carnitas people or the chicken people?

51
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,627
I'm not watching people's faces
while they eat their food.

52
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:09,337
I'm usually working with another customer

53
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:11,298
or listening to a wrestling podcast

54
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,800
and staring at the street.

55
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,134
Got it.

56
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,470
You know what?
Put me down for two carnitas.

57
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,221
Oh, man, I'm sorry, we're out of tacos.

58
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,431
- No!
- Yeah.

59
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,100
We ran out of tortillas
a half hour ago.

60
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,601
Well, why did we have
the whole conversation, then?

61
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,227
Because you kept asking questions,

62
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,687
and I just kept giving you answers.

63
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:28,732
I'm over here trying to listen
to my CM Punk interview, dude.

64
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,233
This is supposed to be the best taco.

65
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,318
What am I supposed to do now?

66
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,946
Go eat the second best taco,
like some kind of asshole?

67
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,325
All right. Great.

68
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,701
Fudge.

69
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,078
How did they run out of tacos?

70
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,537
It's three o'clock.

71
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:45,206
You took 45 minutes
trying to find the best taco spot.

72
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,834
All right, well, um...

73
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,293
you want to help me do some more research

74
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:49,461
and we'll find a place that's still open?

75
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:50,378
Yeah, I guess.

76
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:51,296
[cell phone rings]

77
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,632
Hold on. Incoming.

78
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,676
Ooh, Cassidy.

79
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,344
"Hey, Arnold, come to my place.

80
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,972
Let's have an afternoon bone sesh."

81
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,974
Dude, she might be talking about sex.

82
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,100
What?

83
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,183
You're gonna go have sex with this girl

84
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,061
instead of helping me research tacos?

85
00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:06,979
Dude, I'm sorry, bud,

86
00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,605
but Arnie's got to take care of business.

87
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:09,523
I'll talk to you later.

88
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,482
All right.

89
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:13,027
Taxi! Taxi!

90
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:16,113
[hip-hop music]

91
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:23,202
♪ ♪

92
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,982
[people conversing indistinctly]

93
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,819
- Thank you.
- Thank yer.

94
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:57,445
[sighs]

95
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:58,613
Hello, Dev.

96
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,741
Hey, Mr. Ryan. What's up?

97
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,701
Arthur Ryan, father of the groom.

98
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,786
Hello, Mr. Ryan. I'm Rachel.

99
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,163
Aw, that's nice.

100
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,165
I love seeing ethnically mixed couples.

101
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,542
You two are beautiful together.

102
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:11,793
Oh, thanks.

103
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,629
Had you ever dated an ethnic man
before this, Rachel?

104
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,840
Oh. No.

105
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,633
I was very nervous.

106
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,468
I had been dating a lot of whites.

107
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,221
Just so many whites.

108
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,639
Then one day,
I woke up and just thought,

109
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:26,141
"Rachel, you have to go out there

110
00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:29,770
and try yourself an ethnic,"
and here we are.

111
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,646
- It's going great.
- Oh, fantastic.

112
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:34,441
Well, the ceremony is about to begin.

113
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,276
- Lovely to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

114
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,820
Take care.

115
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:39,780
Wow.

116
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,865
I mean,
I think his heart's in the right place,

117
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,992
but he really shouldn't be saying "ethnic"
that much.

118
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:45,493
Mm-mm.

119
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,163
What is the real race breakdown
of your previous dudes?

120
00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:52,167
Uh, white, white, white, white,

121
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:53,835
half-Asian, then you.

122
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,295
Whoa, so that half-Asian guy,

123
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,131
he was kind of a gateway drug to me?

124
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,173
I guess so.

125
00:04:58,257 --> 00:04:59,674
Who knows what will be next?

126
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,135
I do.

127
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,219
White guy.

128
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,386
[laughs]

129
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,347
Larry and Andrea
have created their own vows,

130
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,475
which they would like to share now.

131
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:14,940
Andrea,
I remember the first time I met you.

132
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,942
I knew right away I was madly in love

133
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,611
and that this love would never fade.

134
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:23,907
I've never had any doubts, fears,
or regrets ever since.

135
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:30,998
Larry, you are able to absorb all of life

136
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:34,584
and make it beautiful
as it goes through you.

137
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,838
You're like this prism that takes in light

138
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,757
and turns it
into all these beautiful colors.

139
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,468
Every time I see your face,

140
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:46,805
I feel this rush
of happiness and excitement

141
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:50,349
that this is the person
I'll spend my life with,

142
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,853
and I can't wait to have that feeling

143
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,438
for the rest of my life.

144
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:03,989
Rachel, I'm...

145
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,074
not 100% sure about this.

146
00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:09,286
Are you the one person
that I'm supposed to be with forever?

147
00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:11,038
I don't fucking know.

148
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,122
And what's the other option?

149
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:13,123
We break up?

150
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,334
That seems shitty too.

151
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:16,960
And I love you. I do.

152
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,086
I love you so much

153
00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:21,464
but not as much as Larry loves Andrea.

154
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,757
Damn.

155
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,010
Goddamn. I mean, that exists?

156
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,553
No doubts, no fears, nothing?

157
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,096
Come on.

158
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,808
I don't know, I guess...

159
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:35,478
getting married just
is a safer bet at this point.

160
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,862
[sighs]

161
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:47,282
Sorry, I was just thinking about
other paths my life could have taken.

162
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:51,995
Dev, you're a great guy.

163
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,915
You really are.

164
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,875
But you're right.

165
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:59,127
Are we supposed to be together forever?

166
00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:02,089
[inhales sharply] I don't know.

167
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,631
And it just sucks
because it just feels like

168
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,384
everything's laid out now.

169
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:07,886
There are no more surprises.

170
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:13,474
We get married, have kids,
get old, and then we die.

171
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:19,398
And I've basically invested
two of my prime years with you,

172
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,483
so I should just go all in.

173
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,027
That's just math.

174
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,613
So let's do this.

175
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,282
Quickly.

176
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:31,701
Do you, Dev,
take Rachel to be your partner

177
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:35,122
in a possibly outdated institution

178
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:38,625
in order to have a "normal" life?

179
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,627
Are you ready to give up

180
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,630
an idealistic search for a soul mate

181
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,049
and try to make it work with Rachel

182
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,218
so you can move forward with your life?

183
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,347
I do.

184
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,558
And do you, Rachel, promise to make

185
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,853
a crazy eternal bond with this gentleman

186
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:02,190
who you happen to be dating
at this stage in your life

187
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:05,277
when people normally get married?

188
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:07,862
I do.

189
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:11,199
I now pronounce you two people
who might realize

190
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,660
they've made an unfortunate mistake

191
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,454
in about three years.

192
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:16,704
[applause]

193
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:20,292
[people cheering]

194
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,378
[wedding music]

195
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:30,469
♪ ♪

196
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,556
Now you're not sure about Rachel?

197
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,059
I thought you were living together.

198
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:39,602
Everything was going good.

199
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,604
What's the problem?

200
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:42,647
[sighs] I don't know.

201
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,732
It's just intense, you know?

202
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,401
I mean, whoever
you're dating now at this age

203
00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:47,735
could be who you end up with.

204
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,737
It's a big decision. It's hard.

205
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:54,159
Po-da-po. You are so indecisive.

206
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,785
When you were a kid, you said,

207
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,163
"Dad, can I play soccer?

208
00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,622
Can I play tennis?

209
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,708
Can I play basketball?"

210
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,127
Me, I'm so decisive.

211
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,379
I play golf.

212
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,255
I chose your mom.

213
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:10,842
We got married right away, no problem.

214
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,552
Yeah, but that's totally different.

215
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,678
It was an arranged marriage.

216
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:16,181
How many women did you meet
before you decided on Ma?

217
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,099
- Two.
- Two? That's it?

218
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,434
What was wrong with the first lady?

219
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,728
She was a little bit too tall.

220
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,647
As soon as she stood up,
I was like, "Oh, no."

221
00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:27,692
You have to learn to make decisions, man.

222
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:30,737
You are like woman
sitting in front of the fig tree

223
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:34,157
staring at all the branches
till the tree dies.

224
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,117
Wait, what woman? What tree?

225
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,370
Sylvia Plath, Bell Jar.

226
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:39,496
You never read.

227
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,540
You're always on the YouTube.

228
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:44,167
Playing tick, tick, tick,
tick, tick, tick.

229
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,419
All right.

230
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,421
Look, you are a young man.

231
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,923
You can do a lot of things with your life:

232
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:53,343
career, girlfriend, travel.

233
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,303
You can even start a family.

234
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:58,056
But you have to make the decision

235
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,933
and do something about it.

236
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,685
If you don't, you're doing nothing,

237
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,438
and the tree dies.

238
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,732
Go to the bookstore and get that book.

239
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,359
Oh, while you are there,

240
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,278
can you get me the Harry Potter books?

241
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:14,281
Isn't it a little late in the game
to get into Harry Potter?

242
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,199
I heard it's good.

243
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,825
[sighs] All right.

244
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:19,369
Oh, shit.

245
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:20,828
I got to go to the hospital.

246
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,747
Somebody got a chicken bone
in their throat.

247
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,916
All right, well, good luck with that.

248
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:27,377
I'll see you at the premiere.

249
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,629
[man] So tell me about your role.

250
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:34,259
Um, Dr. Vincent is kind of
the heartbeat of the film, you know?

251
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,052
He voices what the audience is thinking.

252
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,637
He's kind of like the Greek chorus

253
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,347
or, in my case, the Indian chorus.

254
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:40,348
[laughter]

255
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,183
All right, well, thanks so much.
Enjoy the film.

256
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,312
Wow, that Indian chorus joke
totally killed.

257
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,229
Boom.

258
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,772
What up, playboy?

259
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,191
Dude, this is incredible.

260
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,401
I just bumped into Morris Chestnut,

261
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:52,777
and he told me
to get out of his fucking way.

262
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:53,778
It was great.

263
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:54,904
- Buddy!
- Yeah!

264
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,823
Congratulations, man.

265
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,533
I'm so proud of you.

266
00:10:58,617 --> 00:10:59,784
Listen, I got you a little present

267
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,202
to help celebrate your big day.

268
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,580
Whoa. This a copy of Us Weekly?

269
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,415
Yeah, you're a Hollywood big shot now.

270
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,167
You got to know what people
are saying about you.

271
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,502
Whoa, I'm in this?

272
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,420
No, but there's a great article

273
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,798
about Hollywood's top ten ugliest calves.

274
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,674
It'll make you feel a lot better
about your own.

275
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,177
Thanks, bud.

276
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,220
Man, this is a lot
of pomp and circumstance

277
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:22,140
for an empty special effects movie
with cardboard characters and no plot.

278
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:25,477
Hey, take off your theater critic hat
and put on your friend hat.

279
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,646
All right, I'll make an exception
this one time for you.

280
00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:28,896
Oh, shit.

281
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,607
They're giving out free popcorn.

282
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:31,525
Really, Brian?

283
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,193
Your friend's in his first role
in a big movie,

284
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,487
and you're excited
about a free $4 thing of popcorn?

285
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,113
I'm excited for both.

286
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,032
Me, too. Let's go get some.

287
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,870
- This is gonna be awesome.
- I can't wait!

288
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,413
Oh, guys, hold on a second.

289
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,873
I'm not feeling well.

290
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:47,790
[groans]

291
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,460
I think the sickening is happening!

292
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,253
[all cheering]

293
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,713
Let's do this, baby!

294
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,133
- Whoo!
- Yeah! Come on!

295
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,264
[dramatic music playing]

296
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:07,352
♪ ♪

297
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:08,311
What the fuck?

298
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,979
They cut me out of the movie entirely?

299
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,231
It's so shitty.

300
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:13,066
They could have told you
before the premiere.

301
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,569
Why did they have you
do an interview with Billy Bush?

302
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,028
Hey, Cap, what happened?

303
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,946
Did we go to the wrong movie?
Where were you?

304
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,615
They cut me out, buddy.

305
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:21,740
Hug time.

306
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,412
You can go tighter. You won't hurt Arnold.

307
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,999
[rock music playing]

308
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,418
[Brian] Dude, look on the bright side.

309
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,960
At least you got paid pretty well.

310
00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:33,878
Not really.

311
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,423
I was mainly doing this for the exposure.

312
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:38,091
Oh, but you got great stuff for your reel,

313
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,176
so that's great.

314
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,387
No, I mean,
I don't have access to that footage.

315
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,305
I don't even know how to get it.

316
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,223
Oh, you know what?

317
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:48,017
It'll still be on your IMDb page, so...

318
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,811
Mm, I don't think it will,
because I didn't appear in the movie.

319
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,482
Okay, I'm officially out
of silver linings, dude.

320
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:55,650
Sorry, man.

321
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,486
Where's Ma?

322
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,238
She got sick.

323
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,656
The movie is called Sickening.

324
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:04,117
She really got sick and went home.

325
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,159
[laughs]

326
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,078
All right, well,
she didn't miss anything, anyway.

327
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,288
I was cut out of the movie.

328
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,497
It's okay.

329
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:12,542
You can always do
another Go-Gurt commercial.

330
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,543
It was good.

331
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,754
Yeah, but that was, like, five years ago.

332
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,965
If acting is your passion,
you should focus.

333
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,968
"Passion" may be a bit strong of a word.

334
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,053
So why don't you become a lawyer?

335
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,722
What? No, I'm not gonna become a lawyer.

336
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:27,390
So what do you want to do?

337
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,100
I don't know.

338
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,603
[cell phone rings]

339
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,020
It's emergency room.

340
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,441
Hey, John. What's up?

341
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,817
You're kidding.

342
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,654
Cucumber? Where?

343
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:41,820
The butthole?

344
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,072
Oh, my goodness.

345
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,366
I'll be there.

346
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,993
What's going on?

347
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,036
Somebody got a cucumber in the butthole.

348
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,913
I have to go and take it out.

349
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:51,914
Bye.

350
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,918
Do you want to do another shot?

351
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,379
No, I'll just feel like garbage tomorrow.

352
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,009
Oh, shit, there's Todd, the director.

353
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,720
Have you talked to him yet?

354
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:06,638
No.

355
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,556
Maybe I should go over there
and have an awkward conversation

356
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,141
and try to figure out
what the hell happened.

357
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,100
Yeah.

358
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,895
You know, he should have the decency
to tell you why he cut you out.

359
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,232
Hey, man.

360
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,818
Hey, what's up?

361
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,821
Uh, so Dr. Vincent
didn't make the cut, huh?

362
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,197
Yeah, I'm sorry, buddy.

363
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,825
You were great,
but we had to lose some stuff.

364
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:27,742
You know, it just kind of sucks,

365
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:30,328
because I invited
a lot of my friends and family.

366
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,996
Couldn't you have maybe told me before?

367
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:35,709
I could have, but I didn't.

368
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,419
Is that all you have to say for yourself?

369
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,463
You're being such a douche.

370
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,549
- All right, all right.
- Okay, why did you cut him out?

371
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,467
Hey, you know, calm down.

372
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,386
People get cut out of things all the time.

373
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,346
Dev's not the first actor
to get cut from a movie.

374
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,347
[Rachel] Oh.

375
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,850
You know what,
I'm actually glad that he got cut out,

376
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:55,061
because your movie was garbage.

377
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:55,978
Hey, come on.

378
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,772
Hey, actually, by the way,

379
00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:00,483
it was a piece of shit, the movie.

380
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,318
- [Dev] Calm down.
- [Rachel laughs]

381
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,820
It was fucking shit.

382
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:04,738
God damn it.

383
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,531
Well, you're charming.
It was nice meeting you.

384
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:09,950
Enjoy the open bar,
which I think you already have.

385
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:13,204
I'm gonna go hug Dulé Hill,
because he's nice,

386
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,748
not like you guys.

387
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,457
[mumbles mockingly]

388
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,835
- What the fuck?
- What?

389
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:23,631
Mmm.

390
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:26,300
I can't believe you made this.

391
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,386
See, I knew you'd be a good chef.

392
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,223
Hey.

393
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:33,307
What's up?

394
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,351
Nothing.

395
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,561
Really? You sure?

396
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,646
Feels like you're not really
in the room right now.

397
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:39,731
You're just...

398
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,568
Well, how do you want me to eat pasta,
like this?

399
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,281
No, I just--
I just want you to be engaged

400
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,490
and listen when I talk to you.

401
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,910
Well, maybe I'm just recovering

402
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,954
from that horrible disaster of a night
I just had.

403
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,414
You remember earlier?

404
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:59,208
I went to the movie premiere
for this movie that I worked on forever,

405
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,752
and I got cut out completely?

406
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,880
And then you decided
to drunkenly berate the director?

407
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,382
Okay, I'm sorry.

408
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,718
It was coming from a good place.

409
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,052
I'm sorry you got cut out.

410
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,638
It's fine.

411
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:17,518
But even before that,
you've been a little quiet lately.

412
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:19,854
Is everything okay?

413
00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:21,147
All right.

414
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:22,690
If you want to get into it, we can.

415
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,067
I'll be honest with you, but, you know,

416
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,904
promise not to get mad at me,
and we can have a conversation.

417
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,072
I promise. Please be honest with me.

418
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,454
I got really freaked out

419
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,958
when we were
at Larry and Andrea's wedding.

420
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,670
Just hearing the vows
and thinking about marriage

421
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:48,424
and all that stuff, it just--
It just freaked me out.

422
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,259
- Why?
- I don't know.

423
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:54,305
I feel like when you're younger,
in your 20s,

424
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:57,183
the road ahead in your life,
it's not as clear.

425
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,935
You don't know where it's going.

426
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,186
There's turns you don't expect.

427
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,354
There's surprises.

428
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,356
And then as you get older,

429
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,316
the road just becomes
a little bit clearer,

430
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,067
and you just know where you're gonna go,

431
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,862
and there's less surprise
and less excitement,

432
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,864
and you see what's ahead.

433
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:11,990
So what are you saying?

434
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,450
That our relationship
isn't exciting enough?

435
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,036
No, I'm just saying,

436
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,246
at this age, it's really intense.

437
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,957
Whatever you're doing in your life,

438
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:24,210
whoever you're with,
that's maybe it, you know?

439
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:27,046
And it's a lot of pressure.

440
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,548
Okay, I get that.

441
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:30,383
But are you saying that you're not sure

442
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,343
you want to be with me?

443
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:33,887
No, I'm not saying that.

444
00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,722
Because it sounds like
that's what you're saying.

445
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,640
It sounds like you're not sure
you want to be with me

446
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,559
and that you don't like the road

447
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:44,146
and you don't fucking want to do this
or something.

448
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,816
No, but even if I wasn't sure,

449
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,317
does that make me a horrible person?

450
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,486
Or what, are you, like,
100% sure about everything?

451
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,321
You have no doubts, no fears?

452
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,532
No, I'm not 100% sure.

453
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,325
Well, what percentage sure are you?

454
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:01,121
Hey, why don't we just--
Why don't we just write it down?

455
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,082
It'll be an interesting experiment.

456
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,585
Really? You want to write it down?

457
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,837
The percentage I think
we're gonna be together?

458
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:08,880
That's a horrible idea.

459
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,924
Why don't we just have a conversation?

460
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,967
Because I tried to have a conversation,

461
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,053
and you just started getting mad at me.

462
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,388
Okay, fine, yeah, let's write it down.

463
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,278
Eighty?

464
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,238
Seventy?

465
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,282
What? Seventy is a high number.

466
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,618
It's not as high as 80,
the number I wrote.

467
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:39,786
And I love that you wrote that down,

468
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,162
but 70 is just as high.

469
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,624
No, if there's a movie on Rotten Tomatoes
and it has a 70%,

470
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:48,086
people say it has mixed reviews,
and I definitely don't go see it.

471
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:50,296
So you're saying that
if our relationship was a movie,

472
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,464
you wouldn't go see it.

473
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:52,715
I was being conservative.

474
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,968
I didn't want to go super high
and you go low.

475
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,052
What does it even matter?

476
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,971
Shouldn't we have both written 100
right away

477
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,722
without even thinking about it?

478
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,682
Larry and Andrea were at 100. That exists.

479
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:04,060
If we're not at 100,
we're writing fucking 70 and 80,

480
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,645
why are we even doing this?

481
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:09,398
Well, seems like you've really done
the math on our relationship.

482
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:13,861
[sighs] You know what?

483
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:16,114
I think I should go stay at Melinda's
for a little bit.

484
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,116
Oh, wait, so now you're just leaving?

485
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:19,533
You're leaving the apartment?

486
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,119
Yeah, because I'm 100% sure

487
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:22,620
I don't want to be around you right now.

488
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:26,165
Oh, my God, Cap.

489
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,374
That game sounds horrible.

490
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:28,793
Why would you do that?

491
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:29,794
I don't know.

492
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,712
Seemed like a good idea at the time.

493
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,256
I was actually psyched
when I thought of it.

494
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,884
I may have to steal that
for a breakup move.

495
00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:39,637
Definitely got Rachel pissed very quickly.

496
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,140
So are you guys really broken up?

497
00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:44,058
I'm not sure. It was left kind of vague.

498
00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:46,144
She's just staying at her friend's place
for a few days.

499
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:48,187
Yeah, I mean,
at the heart of what you were trying to do

500
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,647
with that game is not wrong.

501
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,149
I mean, you're not 22.

502
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,317
If you're gonna be in a relationship,
you got to dive in.

503
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,737
You don't want to be messing around,
so maybe it's good it came up now.

504
00:19:58,072 --> 00:19:59,032
Maybe.

505
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:00,366
Hopefully, we just need a couple of days,

506
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,160
and we can sort it all out.

507
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,996
When you close your eyes,
do you see Dev and Rachel

508
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:07,999
in a cozy house
with little Devs running around,

509
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:11,961
or do you see Dev out on the town
with brand-new ladies?

510
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,256
I just see black.

511
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,466
Oh, God.

512
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:18,759
End of days.

513
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:24,640
[Dev reading]
"I saw life branching out before me,

514
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,434
like the green fig tree in the story.

515
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:32,565
From the tip of every branch,
like a fat purple fig,

516
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:35,109
a wonderful future beckoned and winked.

517
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:41,574
One fig was a husband
and a happy home and children,

518
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:44,202
and another fig was a famous poet,

519
00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:48,288
and another fig was a brilliant professor,

520
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:53,377
and another fig was Europe
and Africa and South America,

521
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:57,506
and another fig was Constantine
and Socrates and Attila

522
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,883
and a pack of other lovers

523
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:02,720
with queer names and offbeat professions,

524
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:05,056
and beyond and above these figs

525
00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:08,226
were many more figs
I couldn't quite make out.

526
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,605
I saw myself sitting
in the crotch of this fig tree,

527
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,314
starving to death,

528
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,316
just because I couldn't make up my mind

529
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,861
which of the figs I would choose.

530
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,863
I wanted each and every one of them,

531
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,866
but choosing one
meant losing all the rest,

532
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:27,036
and as I sat there, unable to decide,

533
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:30,164
the figs began to wrinkle and go black.

534
00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:31,290
One by one,

535
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:34,543
they plopped to the ground at my feet."

536
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,973
[line rings]

537
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:49,308
Hey.

538
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:51,227
[Rachel] Hey, how are you?

539
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:54,354
Could we meet up and talk?

540
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:57,233
Yeah, I think we should.

541
00:22:02,113 --> 00:22:03,156
Hey.

542
00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:04,824
Hey.

543
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:06,200
Your hair's red.

544
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:10,496
Dev, I'm moving to Tokyo.

545
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,706
What?

546
00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:15,584
Why are you doing this?

547
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,962
I thought things were going fine,

548
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:20,464
and then I started to think
about what you said

549
00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:22,466
about how we're on this path,

550
00:22:22,549 --> 00:22:24,885
and you're kind of right.

551
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,220
And then I thought about my sister

552
00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:28,181
and how she always wanted
to live in Paris,

553
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:29,932
and now she's never going to.

554
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:33,560
And if I don't do this now,
I don't think I ever will.

555
00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:35,646
Have you really thought this through?

556
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,606
What are you gonna do for work?

557
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,483
You don't speak Japanese or anything.

558
00:22:39,566 --> 00:22:41,652
I don't know. I'll figure something out.

559
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:45,614
Look, I love you, but I want to do this.

560
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:46,907
This is important to me.

561
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:48,450
I don't want to wake up one day
and wonder,

562
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:50,828
"What would it have been like
if I went to Japan?"

563
00:22:52,412 --> 00:22:54,081
I always play it safe,

564
00:22:54,165 --> 00:22:56,709
and I can't do it anymore.

565
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,586
The time in our life to do crazy shit
is winding down,

566
00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:01,964
and I don't want to wake up one day

567
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:06,052
and see that the window is already closed.

568
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:07,636
I'm sorry.

569
00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:10,806
Really, really sorry.

570
00:23:15,602 --> 00:23:18,480
Dude, I can't believe they cut both of us
out of the movie entirely.

571
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:21,734
Yeah.
That happened to me on The Cookout 3.

572
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,777
The whole subplot of me beating Marquise

573
00:23:23,861 --> 00:23:26,030
at the pie-eating contest got scrapped.

574
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:28,699
So how you doing?

575
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,661
Well, in addition to that whole mess,

576
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:34,454
my lady kind of left me.

577
00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:36,623
- She moved to Japan.
- Wow.

578
00:23:36,707 --> 00:23:39,417
She got as far away
from you as possible.

579
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:40,544
Yeah.

580
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:44,257
That-- That sucks.

581
00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:47,551
I did this thing where I had each of us

582
00:23:47,634 --> 00:23:49,303
write down what percent out of 100

583
00:23:49,387 --> 00:23:53,182
we thought that we'd be the last people
we'd be together with.

584
00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:54,392
Did not go well.

585
00:23:54,474 --> 00:23:55,684
No, it wouldn't.

586
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:56,727
That's a horrendous idea.

587
00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:57,937
Why would you do that?

588
00:23:58,020 --> 00:23:58,979
I don't know.

589
00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:02,149
That's so, so ill-advised.

590
00:24:02,233 --> 00:24:03,483
Really stupid.

591
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:07,988
What did she write?

592
00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:09,615
Seventy.

593
00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:11,284
Seventy is not bad.

594
00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:12,993
Seventy is not good.

595
00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:14,870
That's a C-minus. It's horrible.

596
00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,914
A 20 or a 30, that's bad.

597
00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:18,456
Seventy is decent.

598
00:24:18,540 --> 00:24:20,709
It's like... you passed.

599
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,628
Shouldn't you be at 100, though?

600
00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:25,463
I went to this friend's wedding,

601
00:24:25,547 --> 00:24:27,091
and they did their vows,

602
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:28,426
and it was incredible, you know?

603
00:24:28,508 --> 00:24:32,346
And I know, like,
vows are super romantic or whatever,

604
00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:36,267
but still, it...
It seemed like they were at 100.

605
00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:38,602
That's a nice story, but nobody is at 100.

606
00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:42,106
I mean, I'm in a great marriage,
and sometimes we're at 90.

607
00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:45,025
Other times, we're at, like, 20 or 30.

608
00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:45,943
It goes up and down.

609
00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:48,195
It's not just, like,
one number all the time.

610
00:24:48,279 --> 00:24:49,989
[man] Oh, my God.

611
00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:52,408
Are you the dude
from the Mucinex commercial?

612
00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:53,826
Yeah, that's me.

613
00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:55,202
Oh, no shit.

614
00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:56,494
Dude, oh, my God.

615
00:24:56,578 --> 00:24:58,038
You were the booger.

616
00:24:58,122 --> 00:24:59,248
[in a high-pitched voice]
Oh, no, not Mucinex!

617
00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:00,582
[laughs] Oh!

618
00:25:00,666 --> 00:25:02,126
This is amazing, man.

619
00:25:03,501 --> 00:25:04,920
All right, well, I'm with my friend, so...

620
00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:05,838
Oh, awesome.

621
00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:07,131
Yeah, all right, dude.

622
00:25:08,715 --> 00:25:09,800
[camera shutter clicks]

623
00:25:09,883 --> 00:25:11,260
[chuckles]

624
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:14,305
He just took a picture of me
without asking.

625
00:25:14,388 --> 00:25:15,806
That was rude.

626
00:25:18,351 --> 00:25:19,685
Again, man, sorry about the girlfriend.

627
00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:21,103
That sucks.

628
00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:22,688
Yeah, it's tough, man.

629
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:23,897
I don't know what to do.

630
00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:25,649
Long-term relationships are tough.

631
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:29,362
You can't just expect
a big roaring fire right away,

632
00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:30,446
right, you know?

633
00:25:30,528 --> 00:25:32,990
You can't put the big logs in first.

634
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:35,034
You got to start with the small stuff,

635
00:25:35,117 --> 00:25:36,660
the kindling, right?

636
00:25:36,743 --> 00:25:40,039
And you add that,
then you put in the big logs,

637
00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:42,333
and then you have a roaring fire,

638
00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:45,669
and that's a good relationship, right?

639
00:25:45,752 --> 00:25:47,921
But be careful.

640
00:25:48,005 --> 00:25:50,257
Sometimes kindling wood is hard to find,

641
00:25:50,341 --> 00:25:52,092
you know, good wood,

642
00:25:52,176 --> 00:25:55,304
so don't take it for granted.

643
00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,811
[soft instrumental music]

644
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:09,902
♪ ♪

645
00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:13,155
[computer beeps]

646
00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:30,506
- Blanket, sir?
- Thank you.

647
00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:41,641
Have you ever been before?

648
00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:43,601
Nope, first time.

649
00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,398
So what takes you to Italy?

650
00:26:49,816 --> 00:26:51,193
Pasta?

651
00:26:51,277 --> 00:26:54,113
I really like eating it,
and I enjoy making it,

652
00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:56,115
so a few days ago,

653
00:26:56,198 --> 00:26:57,950
I just decided to pack up all my stuff

654
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,578
and move to Italy
and go to pasta-making school.

655
00:27:00,660 --> 00:27:03,372
Wow, how long you going for?

656
00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:04,582
I don't know.

657
00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:06,708
Big move.

658
00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:09,253
You just decided just like that?

659
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:12,590
Just like that.

660
00:27:12,672 --> 00:27:15,509
[upbeat rock music]

661
00:27:15,593 --> 00:27:22,558
♪ ♪