1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:09,176 [romantic music] 2 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:12,262 [man and woman singing in French] 3 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:17,100 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,085 [Dev] Hey. 5 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,004 - Hey. - Can you keep it down? 6 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,087 Some people are trying to sleep. 7 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,046 Sorry. 8 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,757 I have to go to work. 9 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:50,091 Why do you have to go to work so early? 10 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,845 Can't you quit and just start working at Boning Industries? 11 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:53,888 What's Boning Industries? 12 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,015 It's a company I started where we just bone all day. 13 00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:57,391 Ooh. 14 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,267 Oh, can you tuck me in before you leave? 15 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:00,853 - Yeah, hold on. - Thank you. 16 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,815 - I'll tuck you in. - Thank you. 17 00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:06,233 Ah! No! 18 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,651 That's not a good tuck. 19 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,738 [upbeat music] 20 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:13,281 ♪ ♪ 21 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,575 Hey, what are you doing? 22 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:15,492 Wait, what? 23 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,619 - You squeeze it from the top? - Yeah. 24 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,705 You got to squeeze from the bottom. That's so wasteful. 25 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,415 No, I just squeeze from the top, 26 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,417 and then when it doesn't come out anymore, I throw it away. 27 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,502 You got to squeeze from the bottom. See, like this. 28 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,798 [laughter] 29 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:33,010 Can I give you a massage? 30 00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:34,887 Yeah. That'd be actually really nice. 31 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,556 Great. I give the best massages. 32 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,058 - You ready? - Mm-hmm. 33 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:41,393 [laughing] Ow! Ow, ow, ow! 34 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,437 One, two, three. Say, "Stuck in the fireplace." 35 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,314 Stuck in the fireplace! 36 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:47,232 [grunting] 37 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,400 - Oh, that's good. - Yeah? 38 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,818 - Oh, that's the right spot. - You like that? 39 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:54,489 ♪ ♪ 40 00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,116 - Hi! - [laughs] 41 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:57,409 All right, thank you. 42 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:00,996 Mm! 43 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,748 [laughing] Oh, oh, God. 44 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:03,916 Oh! 45 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,503 - All right. - Whew. 46 00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,589 That's the last box. 47 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,925 I am officially moved in. 48 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,469 You are, but, um, 49 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,888 I kind of changed my mind, and I think you should leave, 50 00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,723 so can you pack your shit up and get out of here? 51 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,682 Oh. 52 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,142 Yeah, it happens. 53 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,393 Well, good thing I'm already packed. 54 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,104 It'll make this easy. 55 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,230 Great. All right, see you later. 56 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,732 I guess you don't want that housewarming present 57 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:29,650 that I got you. 58 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:30,567 What present? 59 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:31,485 I love presents. 60 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,402 Can I have it, please? 61 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,862 Can you move back in? Please, please? 62 00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,573 - Okay, sure, yeah. - Yeah! 63 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,658 Ready? 64 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,535 Ta-da! 65 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,622 A pasta maker? I love it! 66 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:44,832 Yeah, you love eating pasta so much, 67 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,792 I thought you might enjoy making it, too. 68 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,085 I've always wanted to learn how to make fresh pasta, 69 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:49,920 but I've been too lazy, thank you. 70 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,635 [sighs] 71 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:03,182 Sorry about all the clothes on the floor. 72 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,392 That's all right. Don't worry about it. 73 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,145 Hey, my conference call got pushed. 74 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,479 I got a little extra time. 75 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:08,772 You want to go get breakfast? 76 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:11,190 Um... yeah. 77 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,736 Or... we could just bone. 78 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,321 Ah! 79 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,450 [both moaning] 80 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,036 Hey, quick question. 81 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,578 Do you want to fuck me on that chair? 82 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:24,663 Um, quick answer. 83 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,540 Yes, I do. 84 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,542 - Does that feel good? - Yeah. 85 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,293 Oh, God. 86 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,962 [sighs] 87 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:33,755 That was insane. 88 00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:35,507 [both exhale] 89 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,719 What if whenever I came, I was like this? 90 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,971 [gasps and grunts] 91 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:41,972 [laughs] 92 00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:42,973 That's all I did. 93 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:43,891 That's how cool guys fuck. 94 00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:44,808 They're just like... 95 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,601 [grunting] 96 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,062 [sighs] 97 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,938 [laughs] 98 00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:52,733 Um, what if, when I came, I was like-- I was like, 99 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:53,859 [in a high-pitched voice] Oh, yeah! 100 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,196 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh... [softly] yeah... 101 00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:58,780 Oh, no, please. 102 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:03,077 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh... [softly] yeah... 103 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,245 [laughing] God, no, no, no. 104 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,705 - Oh, yeah. - No, stop. 105 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,498 Stop fucking me. 106 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:17,966 Hey, Rachel. 107 00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,219 You know we have hardwood floors? 108 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:22,262 I just got a glimpse through all your clothes down here. 109 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,263 [sighs] 110 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,306 Okay, I'll clean it up later. 111 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,266 It's all right. 112 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:30,145 I'm usually the clean person in a relationship, anyway. 113 00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:31,438 Um... 114 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,440 are you implying that I'm the dirty one 115 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,942 in this relationship? 116 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:39,947 I mean, if we got to pick, clearly, I'm the clean boo. 117 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:40,906 You're the dirty boo. 118 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:44,284 Oh, okay, well, clean boo, you left all the glasses 119 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,536 and spilled Campari on the kitchen counter. 120 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,997 Is that a new clean boo move I don't understand? 121 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,457 That's in the kitchen. Things spill every now and then. 122 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,458 I'll clean it up later. 123 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,794 I'm just saying, I feel like 124 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:56,046 you should be respectful of my place 125 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,632 if you're gonna live here, you know, and be clean. 126 00:04:58,715 --> 00:04:59,758 Your place? 127 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:00,801 Hey, come on. 128 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,052 I'm living in your place? 129 00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:04,596 I'm sorry, I didn't know that I was staying in your place. 130 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,056 I thought this was our apartment. 131 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,267 I thought I was living here and we were living here together. 132 00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:10,435 No, no, no, you know what I meant. You know what I meant. Come on. 133 00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,603 - No, I don't know what you meant. - Don't do that. 134 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,896 Why don't you explain what you meant? 135 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,190 I'm-- I meant... 136 00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:18,860 we're a team, and we're in this together, and we're a clean team. 137 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,613 Okay, don't try and save yourself with those bullshit phrases. 138 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,364 You think that I'm living in your place. 139 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:24,283 - No-- - Fine, you know what? 140 00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:25,492 I'll clean up the floor. 141 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,409 - Great. You know what? - Come on. 142 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,369 I'll be your maid. 143 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,455 [in a foreign accent] Oh, excuse me? Room service. 144 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,748 Oh, sorry, sir. You're here. 145 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,750 I heard you want the floor clean. 146 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,210 What? 147 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,297 All right, whatever accent you were just doing, 148 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:39,422 it's very offensive, 149 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:43,342 so you're a racist boo and a dirty boo. 150 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,470 Oh, my God. 151 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:46,763 There. Fine. 152 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,765 Floor... 153 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,600 is... clean. 154 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,979 What are you even gonna do there anyway, huh? 155 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,106 I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. 156 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,985 I'm gonna hold a plank pose-- ah-- for 30 seconds. 157 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,492 [panting] 158 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,831 Sorry. 159 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:15,917 Ah. 160 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:21,340 Which-- Which-- Let's move together, like-- 161 00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:23,424 - Okay. - Okay. 162 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,384 Okay, okay, there. 163 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,100 Do you want to go to the chair? 164 00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,810 [sighs] I don't know. 165 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:34,811 I'm kind of tired. 166 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,480 You should just finish. 167 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,025 Well, I don't want to finish if you're not gonna finish. 168 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,194 Okay, well, you don't have to finish. 169 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,279 Well, neither of us finish? That just seems sad. 170 00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:46,447 Okay, then just finish. 171 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,158 No, it's okay. 172 00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:49,408 I'm kind of tired, too. 173 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,327 All right. 174 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,204 [groans] 175 00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:55,249 [sighs] 176 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:58,335 [bells jingling] 177 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,883 Hey, so I picked us up a little treat 178 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,843 at Babeland yesterday. 179 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,887 Ooh, Babeland? 180 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:09,971 Early Christmas present. 181 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,348 - Intrigued? - Why, yes. 182 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,183 Get ready for... 183 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,229 The Liberator. 184 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,357 What is this? Is it a pillow? 185 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,734 No, it's a firm wedge so we can get different angles. 186 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,278 Check it out. 187 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,362 You get the wedge up in here, 188 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,571 and then you can hit these different kind of angles. 189 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:27,488 You see? 190 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:28,782 Don't they look like they're having a blast? 191 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,326 [laughing] Wait, why do we need this? 192 00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,744 The guy at the store said it was their best-selling thing. 193 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:33,954 Why are you making fun of it? 194 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:34,913 It's just a pillow. 195 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,623 We have, like, eight of these. 196 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:37,582 No, no, it's not a pillow. 197 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:38,583 It's a firm wedge. 198 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,335 Okay, stop saying "firm wedge." 199 00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:41,962 Fine, I'll throw it in the fucking trash. 200 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,255 Wait, wait, calm down. 201 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:44,756 What's going on? 202 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,091 Are you trying to spice things up? 203 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,343 Yeah, I'm trying to spice things up. 204 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:52,889 Because we used to have, like, crazy, amazing sex all the time. 205 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:53,890 You know? 206 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,517 And now I feel like it's pretty routine. 207 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,145 It's like a little bit of this and then a little bit of this 208 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,562 and then a little bit of this, and then we're done. 209 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,189 Okay, first of all, ouch, 210 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,275 and second of all, who says that going in 211 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,360 at a different angle is gonna solve anything? 212 00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,736 All right, the guy said this was 213 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,572 their best-selling thing by far, okay? 214 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,408 I'm just trying to improve our sex lives. 215 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,451 Okay, well, here's an idea. 216 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:15,287 How about you stop rubbing your eye every time you shove your junk in me? 217 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,205 - What? - Yeah, you're always like... 218 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:21,835 It's distracting. 219 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,671 Okay, well, sometimes my contacts get dried, okay? 220 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:25,839 Well, take them out. 221 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,508 No, because then it would be like I'm fucking someone blurry. 222 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,344 [sighs] Okay, why don't we just go return it 223 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,262 and go pick something out together? 224 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,805 No, I can't return The Liberator. 225 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,808 Babeland has a very strict return policy 226 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,393 for obvious reasons. 227 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,478 [sighs] It's fine. 228 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,272 I'll just use it for lumbar support when I'm watching TV. 229 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,232 Wait, what? 230 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:49,570 Great. Well, now I'm liberated from back pain. 231 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:54,993 Ooh, nice bumps. 232 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:56,870 What? 233 00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:57,954 That's your butt. 234 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,831 Bumps is what I called my butt when I was a little boo. 235 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,082 Oh, well, thanks. 236 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,501 You have nice bumps, too. 237 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:05,379 Thank you. I'm quite proud of my bumps. 238 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,463 I have an idea. 239 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,588 We should name our other body parts. 240 00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,174 Why have we never done this before? 241 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,051 What would your penis be called? 242 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,552 Um... 243 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,388 - Charlemagne. - Wait, Charlemagne? 244 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:15,680 Yeah, he's dignified. 245 00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:16,764 Okay, I see that. 246 00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,850 What's her name? 247 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,727 Beatrice. 248 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:21,686 Beatrice and Charlemagne? 249 00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,021 All right, I like that. 250 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,939 Hmm. 251 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,983 Hey, I have an idea. 252 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,027 How about we play a game to keep the room clean? 253 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:34,324 If you catch any of my clothes on the floor or on the chair, 254 00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:37,077 I have to have, uh, 255 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,455 an intimate conversation with Beatrice. 256 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,542 And if I catch any of your clothes 257 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,210 on the floor or on the chair, 258 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,671 you have to have... 259 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,425 an intimate little chat with Charlemagne. 260 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,009 Hmm, that's a fun game. 261 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,511 I'm in. 262 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:55,429 All right. Boom. 263 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:56,388 [imitates explosion] 264 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,976 Whoa! 265 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:06,647 Look at this clean floor! 266 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,858 It was a really good idea. 267 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:15,449 Ah! 268 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,242 [laughs] 269 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,826 [Rachel] All right, sounds good. 270 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,454 See you then. Bye. 271 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:23,498 Hey, can we go get dinner with my friend Megan tomorrow? 272 00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:25,959 She's moving to Thailand for three months, and I want to say goodbye. 273 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:26,876 Sure. 274 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,003 - What's she doing in Thailand? - I don't know. 275 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,505 She just wanted to live abroad for a little while. 276 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:31,506 It's pretty cool. 277 00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,007 Nice. 278 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,137 Busted. 279 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,346 All right, come on. 280 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,598 That's Lupe, the housekeeper. 281 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,015 She folded them up. That doesn't count. 282 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,850 I don't know, man. Rules are rules. 283 00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,852 I think you got to go down on Lupe. 284 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:45,979 No, that's not fair. 285 00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,147 You know what's weird is that you would 286 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,816 theoretically rather have a clean floor than me blow you, 287 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,526 because if I just made a mess every day, 288 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,194 I would have to go down on you all the time. 289 00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:55,071 No, you don't understand. 290 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,739 Having a clean apartment, whew, 291 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,534 that's like getting a tiny blow job anytime you see a clean area. 292 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:04,998 It's like, ooh, ah, ooh, ay, ooh. 293 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,791 Okay, well, somebody has to pay for those clothes... 294 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,210 and I think it's you. 295 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,712 All right. 296 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,590 Text Lupe I'll go down on her. 297 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,931 Hi. 298 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,308 Dude, what are you doing? 299 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,934 Just making sure everything's going all right. 300 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,811 You can't make silly faces. 301 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,189 Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I was doing a good job. 302 00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,525 - You're doing great. - Can I get a juice break? 303 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,026 [sighs] Stop. 304 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,611 All right, back to work. 305 00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:35,903 Shut up! 306 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,322 I'm going back in! 307 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,282 Here we go! 308 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,368 - Whoa! - [laughs] 309 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,290 Okay, well, have a good trip, 310 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,626 and just text me when you guys land, okay? 311 00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:50,709 All right, bye, Ma. 312 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,212 Love you. 313 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,755 Hey. 314 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,007 Can I ask you something? 315 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,384 Yeah. 316 00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,595 What do your parents know about me? 317 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,390 Huh? 318 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,892 I just noticed on your phone conversations with them, 319 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,726 you never talk about me, 320 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,855 but I talk about you with my mom all the time, 321 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:14,317 so what do they know about me? 322 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,736 I guess I don't talk about us much. 323 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:22,367 So they know I live with you? 324 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,705 No. 325 00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:29,916 But they know you have a girlfriend, right? 326 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,378 Not really. 327 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,588 Not really? 328 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,881 It's a cultural thing, okay? 329 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,717 We just don't talk about that kind of stuff. 330 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:41,760 Dev, we've been dating for almost a year! 331 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,138 You're such a big part of my life. 332 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,682 My parents know everything about you. 333 00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,892 My mom DVRs TV shows, 334 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:50,687 so she can fast-forward through them to watch your commercials. 335 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:52,397 How do they not know about me? 336 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,898 Well, what do you want me to do? 337 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,650 Do you want me to call them right now? 338 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:56,693 No, it's fine. 339 00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:58,819 If it's awkward, I don't want to make you do anything 340 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,614 that you don't want to do. 341 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,949 But it just makes me feel like you're ashamed of me 342 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,492 or something. 343 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,077 Look, it's different, okay? 344 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,663 If you're a white person and you're dating somebody, 345 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,873 you just call your parents and tell them, "Hey, I'm dating this person," 346 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:11,874 and they're like, "Oh, great. 347 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:12,917 Let me invite him over 348 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,587 and feed him, like, chicken and dumplings." 349 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,756 [scoffs] Okay. 350 00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:20,967 Hey, come on. 351 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,885 What? 352 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,513 That's like the kind of tone people use when they've decided 353 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,014 they're gonna murder the other person. 354 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,308 That's not nice. 355 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,435 That's like when someone's like, 356 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:31,894 "Okay, no more arguing. 357 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,272 I'll just chop their head off when they're asleep." 358 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,857 Rachel, don't chop my head off. 359 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,908 [Dev] Hey, boo, come here! 360 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,911 Come have some of this fresh juice! 361 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,871 Damn, that's not a lot of juice for all that squeezing I did. 362 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,707 - Hey. - Come here. Look at this. 363 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,334 Fresh grapefruit juice. 364 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,961 Oh, I'm glad you like your juicer. 365 00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:59,547 You think you're ever gonna use that pasta maker I got you? 366 00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:00,548 I want to use the pasta maker, 367 00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,550 but making fresh pasta is a little intimidating. 368 00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,302 I might just be better at eating pasta. 369 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:10,517 So I had an interesting meeting at work yesterday. 370 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,393 There might be a big position opening up. 371 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,520 Nice. 372 00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:16,230 Yeah, and if I got it, 373 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,982 I would be the head of the big team 374 00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:20,527 running Reply All and some other bands. 375 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,821 The only thing is, is I would have to go to Chicago 376 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:25,239 for, like, six months. 377 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,825 Six months? 378 00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:28,827 Wow, that's a long time. 379 00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,745 Would you come back on weekends? 380 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:34,248 Yeah, I-I can come back on some weekends. 381 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,125 But it's a great opportunity, 382 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,628 and I can make connections I can use with some of the cooler bands 383 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,254 I've always wanted to work with. 384 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,216 Yeah, I get it. 385 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,969 You get it, but it doesn't seem like you support it. 386 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,889 I support it. 387 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,141 That doesn't sound very convincing. 388 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,768 I support it! 389 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:56,270 You don't have to be an asshole about it. 390 00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,438 Hey, I'm not being an asshole. 391 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,357 It's just, six months is a long time 392 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,234 to just come back on some weekends. 393 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,985 I mean, what, now we're one of these couples 394 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,029 that just FaceTimes each other all the time? 395 00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:06,740 Look, I haven't actually taken the position yet. 396 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,491 They just asked if I could fly in to interview. 397 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,534 Can I just do that? 398 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,703 Yeah, do whatever you want. 399 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,371 What? 400 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:14,789 It's just, I feel like you always say, 401 00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,791 "Like, oh, well, I do this, and then I get to work 402 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,209 with the bands I'm really passionate about," 403 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,127 and it doesn't work that way, you know? 404 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:23,673 And now you're talking about moving all the way to Chicago 405 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,216 for six months to work with these bands 406 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:26,801 that I know you don't really care about. 407 00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,344 But sometimes you have to pay your dues 408 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,346 to do the things that you want to do. 409 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,765 You do commercials. 410 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,725 How artistically fulfilling is that? 411 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,769 Oh, now you're shitting on me because I do commercials? 412 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:39,313 Uh, I do commercials for, like, three days 413 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,607 on a shoot in New York. 414 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,942 I don't move to Chicago for six months 415 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,819 to shoot a fucking Fruit by the Foot commercial. 416 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,405 If I did that, I would question my time management skills. 417 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,699 Wait, so you think that I'm mismanaging my time? 418 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:50,700 No, I'm just saying, 419 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,077 are you sure you want to move all the way to Chicago? 420 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,705 No, I'm not sure I want to move all the way to Chicago! 421 00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:56,623 Why are you yelling? 422 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,666 Because you're right, 423 00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:01,001 but you're being really insensitive about it. 424 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:04,088 - God. Well-- - [sighs] 425 00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,298 Okay, maybe I shouldn't be doing any of this, 426 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,299 but what am I supposed to do? 427 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,384 I'm 30 years old. I can't just start over. 428 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,928 I've been doing this for too long. 429 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,555 All I'm saying is to just sit for a beat 430 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,599 and make sure this is something you want to do. 431 00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,309 What, I'm just gonna sit for a beat? 432 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,936 What, am I gonna be 50? 433 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,521 Or if I just sit around, hanging around, doing the same shit, 434 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,816 working with the same bands that nobody likes? 435 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:25,443 And I hate their music, and I hate my job, 436 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:26,820 and, what, and I fucking hate my life? 437 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:27,821 No, hey, come here. 438 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:28,822 I'm not saying any of that. 439 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,573 Jeez, come on. Hey. 440 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:32,826 Come on. 441 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,786 You want me to call Princeton Jay from Reply All 442 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,329 and have him sing a song to make you feel better? 443 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:37,956 Don't be fucking silly. 444 00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:39,958 This is serious. 445 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:40,875 [sighs] 446 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,126 All right, I'm sorry. 447 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,340 I'm just gonna do the interview and see what they say. 448 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,426 I have to go to work 449 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,512 and work on some more dumb shit 450 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:55,389 that I don't care about, apparently. 451 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:56,975 Hey. 452 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:58,225 Rachel. 453 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:02,730 [soft rock music] 454 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,316 ♪ ♪ 455 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:06,818 [groans] 456 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,712 [romantic big band music] 457 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:14,802 ♪ ♪ 458 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,308 I did it! 459 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:05,979 Hello? 460 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:06,938 Hey! 461 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:08,272 How was Chicago? 462 00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:09,315 It was good. 463 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:10,775 It smells really good in here. 464 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:11,818 Yes, close your eyes. 465 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,319 Sit on the couch. 466 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,290 All right, open them. 467 00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:27,291 Surprise! 468 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,459 I made us spaghetti carbonara. 469 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,252 I used the pasta maker. 470 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,879 I even made a veg version for you. 471 00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,172 You made this? 472 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,299 Yeah. Take a bite. 473 00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:40,138 Mmm, this is so good. 474 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:43,099 Yeah, I did good, right? 475 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,767 Um, I really missed you. 476 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,269 I missed you, too. 477 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,771 The place is so clean. 478 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,774 Yeah, because you've been gone. 479 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,233 I missed your mess. 480 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,944 I can make a mess. 481 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,574 Yeah, there we go. 482 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:01,993 Yes. 483 00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,243 Yes! 484 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,704 [laughter] 485 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:07,040 Um, how did the interview go? 486 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:10,250 The interview went really, really well, 487 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,920 but I decided not to take the position, 488 00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,088 which actually worked out for the best, 489 00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:17,550 because I talked to them how I was unhappy working with all the crappy bands, 490 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:18,801 and they totally got it, 491 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:19,927 and now they're gonna make more of an effort 492 00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:21,721 to position me with artists I'm really into. 493 00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,263 - That's great. - Yeah. 494 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,849 Yeah. 495 00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,684 Yeah, six months would have been pretty intense. 496 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:31,271 I-- I guess I was a little scared. Um... 497 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,857 I know we fight about, like, silly stuff, 498 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:36,694 and I have been known to make silly faces 499 00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:37,862 when I'm going down on you. 500 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,073 But, um, 501 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,159 I really like this. 502 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,828 I like this, too. 503 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:46,996 And I like this. 504 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,667 - Mmm, so good. - Hey, hey, take it easy. 505 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,169 - So good. - You're going crazy. 506 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,295 Stop. No. 507 00:20:58,591 --> 00:20:59,425 - Eh? - That looks nice. 508 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,010 - Yeah, this is better. - Yeah. 509 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,302 [knock at door] 510 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:03,596 Ooh, that's them. 511 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:05,431 - Hello. - Hey. 512 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,934 - How are you? - Good, good. Come on in. 513 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,268 How are you? 514 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,229 What's up, man? 515 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,108 It's so dirty in the stairway. 516 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,317 You need to move to a nicer building. 517 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:18,736 It's old. 518 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,363 Maybe you should find a cleaner place. 519 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:22,364 Yeah. 520 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,909 You know, because most of the buildings in New York are nice and cheap, 521 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,035 so I'll just pop into one of those 522 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,870 instead of this one that I chose for no reason. 523 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:29,163 I still don't believe 524 00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:31,415 that you've been living with this girl for a whole year 525 00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:32,792 and didn't tell us. 526 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:34,961 Yeah, but I don't know, it's-- 527 00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:36,837 I thought it might be weird because you guys 528 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:38,839 are from a different culture and everything. 529 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,133 Different culture? 530 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:44,804 Po-da! We've been living here for 40 years. 531 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,722 It is like that movie. 532 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:47,765 What's the one? 533 00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:51,144 The Ben Stiller movie where he meets the parents? 534 00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,352 It's called Meet the Parents. 535 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:53,938 Meet the Parents! 536 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,106 Stop it, Ramesh. 537 00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,983 I like that movie. 538 00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,192 It's funny. 539 00:22:01,528 --> 00:22:03,114 Just tea? 540 00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,698 Any Indian sweets? 541 00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:05,992 Some laddus? 542 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:07,409 No, we don't have any Indian sweets. 543 00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:08,786 We have some cheeses. 544 00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:09,703 Cheese? 545 00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:11,038 I don't like cheese. 546 00:22:11,122 --> 00:22:12,248 Any popadam? 547 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,416 Popadam is Indian chips. 548 00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:17,878 Rachel, we brought you a small gift. 549 00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:19,172 Thank you so much. 550 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,798 You didn't have to do that. 551 00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:22,633 I hope you like it. 552 00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:24,426 Wow, I love it. 553 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:26,304 Oh, my God, thank you. 554 00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:28,014 It's so nice. 555 00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:30,516 And it's real nice meeting you. 556 00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:31,684 It's nice meeting you. 557 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:32,643 Wonderful. 558 00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:36,189 Let me take a picture of this moment. 559 00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:37,439 Okay, guys. 560 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:39,650 Sit together. 561 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:41,944 Hey, tuck your tummy, man. 562 00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:43,654 What? 563 00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:44,864 Okay. 564 00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:46,448 Smile. 565 00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:47,491 One, two, three. 566 00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:48,450 [camera shutter clicks] 567 00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:53,039 All right, night-night. 568 00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:54,707 Night. 569 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,588 [sighs] 570 00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:04,258 [Dev] I can't sleep, boo. 571 00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:05,509 [Rachel] Aw. 572 00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:06,552 [Dev] Can you tell me a story? 573 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:07,845 Mm... 574 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,265 Once upon a time, 575 00:23:11,349 --> 00:23:15,435 there was a little boo named Dev, 576 00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:18,064 and he couldn't sleep, 577 00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:22,902 and he kept the lovely Princess Rachel awake, 578 00:23:22,985 --> 00:23:26,780 and she went crazy, and she beat his bumps. 579 00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:28,199 Hey. 580 00:23:28,282 --> 00:23:29,992 That story doesn't have a good ending. 581 00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:30,910 It's too sad. 582 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:32,036 You tell me a story. 583 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,620 Okay. 584 00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:35,373 Um... 585 00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:37,624 once upon a time, there was this little boo named Dev, 586 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:38,959 and one day, 587 00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:42,004 he met this beautiful princess named Rachel, 588 00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:44,715 and she had the nicest bumps ever, 589 00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:47,301 and she was really cool and funny. 590 00:23:47,385 --> 00:23:49,136 And she was standing at this jukebox, 591 00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:50,263 and little Dev went over and said, 592 00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:51,847 "Hey, were you playing the Buzzcocks?" 593 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:53,515 And she was like, "Oh, yeah, that was me," 594 00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:55,393 and he was like, "Oh, I love the Buzzcocks." 595 00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:58,062 And they started talking and dancing, 596 00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:00,689 and eventually, they went home together, 597 00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:03,317 and Charlemagne met Beatrice. 598 00:24:03,401 --> 00:24:06,112 But that night, Charlemagne was so powerful, 599 00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:07,780 he broke through his protective shield, 600 00:24:07,863 --> 00:24:11,367 and they had to go get the magic potion 601 00:24:11,449 --> 00:24:13,786 called a Plan B pill, and it was kind of weird. 602 00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,454 And they thought they were never gonna see each other ever again. 603 00:24:16,538 --> 00:24:18,791 But then they ran into each other at a concert, 604 00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:21,294 and they were drinking and dancing and having fun, 605 00:24:21,377 --> 00:24:23,379 and then Dev was like, "Ooh, I'm gonna kiss her." 606 00:24:23,461 --> 00:24:27,925 But Princess Rachel was dating some evil prince 607 00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:30,303 that lived in some kingdom called Seattle, so she couldn't do it. 608 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:32,638 But then one day, 609 00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,432 they took a trip to Nashville together, 610 00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:36,474 and they had so much fun. 611 00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:38,602 It was the greatest trip ever. 612 00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:41,855 And eventually, they moved into the same castle together. 613 00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:44,650 And every now and then, they fought about silly stuff, 614 00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:46,693 and sometimes they fought about more serious stuff. 615 00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,654 But in the end, they figured it out 616 00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:50,990 because they love each other very much 617 00:24:51,073 --> 00:24:53,909 and they really love the kingdom they built together. 618 00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,328 The end. 619 00:24:56,203 --> 00:24:58,289 Did they live happily ever after? 620 00:24:58,372 --> 00:25:00,874 I don't know about ever after, but they're pretty happy now. 621 00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:05,796 [upbeat music] 622 00:25:05,879 --> 00:25:12,886 ♪ ♪