1 00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:11,929 Are we ever gonna get to order a drink? 2 00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:14,348 This clown's been muddling cucumbers for 20 minutes. 3 00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:15,808 Bro, here's the move. 4 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,643 You make eye contact, then you flash the cash. 5 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:19,687 Check this out. 6 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,772 Hmm? 7 00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,106 Hey, it's working. He's looking over here. 8 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,984 Yeah, yeah. 9 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,611 Huh? 10 00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,154 Aw, man. Game over. 11 00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:30,155 Look at that. 12 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:31,615 Big surprise. 13 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,200 So he's gonna serve the hot girl 14 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,828 instead of tending to the lovely, large Caucasian man 15 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,454 and his charming Indian friend. 16 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,164 If that bozo thinks he's getting a tip 17 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,667 after this bullshit, 18 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,126 he's right. 19 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,753 I'm actually too afraid of the awkwardness 20 00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,672 of not tipping. 21 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,298 You could always give him a dollar 22 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,009 and then give him a mean mug afterwards. 23 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:51,969 Just like... 24 00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:53,971 That's good. 25 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,723 - Real mean. - Thank you. 26 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,183 - Hey, hi. I'm Derek. - Hi, Derek. 27 00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:01,896 And I just got us both a shot of tequila. 28 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,231 Oh, nah, I don't really want a shot. 29 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,524 Great, so I just paid for these 30 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,442 and now I have to throw them out? 31 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:10,571 Um, sorry? 32 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:11,780 Whatever. 33 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,454 So, uh, we should hang out sometime. 34 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,623 - Can I get your number? - Oh, that's so nice. 35 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:24,001 I, uh-- I got to-- I'm gonna catch up with my friends. 36 00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:25,002 What? 37 00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:26,712 But we got something-- 38 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,307 Uh, so what's up with you and purple shirt over there? 39 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,184 Oh, my God, so hot, right? 40 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,561 We've been vibing all night, 41 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,688 doing some drinks, doing some dancing. 42 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,189 It's a great girl. 43 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,943 Why'd you come back to talk to me? Go talk to her. 44 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:52,320 Dude, you got to let them breathe a little bit, play a little hard to get. 45 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,406 You know these girls want what they can't have. 46 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:55,407 It's true. 47 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,368 Fuck! 48 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:02,205 Uh-oh. Sorry, bud. 49 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:06,167 Well, on a side note, uh, I realize I hate bars. 50 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,962 I don't want to be here in this sweaty mess. 51 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:09,254 I'd much rather be at home watching TV, 52 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,798 cuddling with Rachel. 53 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,466 Dude, I'm so jealous of your setup, man. 54 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,384 I'm out here chasing random women, 55 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,970 and you're at home with this beautiful, 56 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,304 intelligent girlfriend you actually 57 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,931 like spending time with? 58 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,809 You're nurturing this fulfilling and rich-- 59 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,685 Oh, my God, she stopped making out with that dude. 60 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:24,895 I got to make my move. 61 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,816 I think she really liked me. 62 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,150 But she did go home with that guy 63 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,819 that she was making out with. 64 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,112 Girls are so annoying. 65 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,780 Sorry, buddy. 66 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,115 Is anybody going this way? 67 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,616 - I'm getting a cab. - Okay. 68 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:38,909 Yeah, we're just gonna grab the subway. 69 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:39,994 All right. I'll see you guys. 70 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,787 - See you. - Bye. 71 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,378 Man, it's colder than they said it was gonna be. 72 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,339 It's supposed to be nice tomorrow. 73 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,467 You want to keep talking about the weather? 74 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,427 I could go either way. 75 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:58,846 Let's keep going. 76 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,388 Here's a thing. 77 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,724 If it's cold outside, I think they should 78 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,977 make it cold inside also. 79 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,979 'Cause, let's say I'm dressed for the cold 80 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,355 and it's not cold inside, 81 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,024 now I'm sweating wherever I go. 82 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,734 They should make every place one temperature. 83 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,319 Who's the "they" in that scenario? 84 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:15,570 Business owners, man! 85 00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,509 Hey, it's faster if we cut through the park. 86 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,427 Oh, cool, man. 87 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,934 Hey! 88 00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,978 It's me from the bar! 89 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,855 Remember? 90 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,816 Well, can't we just talk for a second? 91 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:54,902 Watch out! Watch out! 92 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:55,903 What, what, what? 93 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,320 You stepped in dog poop. 94 00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,240 Aw, fuck! My favorite sneakies! 95 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,117 Now I got to wipe out the poo. 96 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,668 Ah, just go. 97 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,440 Let's go get some tacos! 98 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,441 Dude, please leave. 99 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,442 Come on. 100 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,945 Give a nice guy a shot. 101 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:40,989 Let a nice guy win for once. 102 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,616 Oh, man, I'm starting to feel like 103 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,243 this relationship's not working out. 104 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:45,869 Hello? 105 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:49,081 Tell me where I went wrong. Just lay it out for me. 106 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:52,417 - Yeah, I, uh, need assistance. - Give it to me straight. Be honest. 107 00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,299 Oh, man. 108 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,509 The sun is out, and that means barbecues. 109 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,762 At Garden Depot, they have the best deals 110 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:04,805 on the biggest grills. 111 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:05,847 It's summertime. 112 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,266 Let's get cooking. 113 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,476 Save up to 40% on our top grill brands 114 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,978 all summer long. 115 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,604 Get them... 116 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,273 while they're hot. 117 00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:15,274 That looks fantastic. 118 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:16,275 Great work, guys. 119 00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,525 Great fucking energy out there. 120 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:18,902 You're looking good, ladies. 121 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,612 All right, we'll do one more take. 122 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,489 Let's shoot the fuck out of this Garden Depot ad. 123 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,116 Yeah! 124 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:25,826 How was your weekend? Do anything fun? 125 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,577 Uh, well, my friend had this birthday party 126 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,955 at 169 Bar Saturday night. 127 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,456 Oh, whoa. I was at that bar too. 128 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,667 No way, that's crazy. How was your night? 129 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,043 Not great. 130 00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,878 So it took forever to order a drink there, 131 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:40,924 and on my way home... stepped in dog poo. 132 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,341 Ruined my favorite sneakies. 133 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,927 Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. 134 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,595 Yeah. So annoying. 135 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:49,016 I tried to wash them out, but, um, I just can't get rid of the smell. 136 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,768 And then I tried to order them online-- Out of stock. 137 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:55,272 So now I got to go to a real store this weekend 138 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,439 and buy them in person? 139 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,108 I don't have that kind of time. 140 00:05:58,192 --> 00:05:59,193 Hmm. 141 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,986 How was your night? 142 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,281 Um... 143 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,289 And then she had to call the police. 144 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:55,623 It's crazy. 145 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,751 I can't believe the guy, like, followed her all the way home. 146 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:58,835 Well, I've been followed before. 147 00:06:58,919 --> 00:06:59,836 Really? 148 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,462 Yeah, a few times. 149 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,131 A couple months ago, I was in a grocery store, 150 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:05,633 and this guy started following me around, so I left. 151 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:06,843 I went into Smoothie Palace. 152 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,553 He followed me into there. 153 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,972 Finally, I had to go to that pet store, Le Petit Puppy, 154 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,807 and pretend I was shopping for a puppy for 30 minutes 155 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,559 until he finally went away. 156 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,811 Ooh, is that the pet store where they got the pup cam 157 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,272 where you can watch the pups play online? 158 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,399 There's, like, a live feed of the pup pen? 159 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,609 Sorry, not an appropriate response to that story. 160 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:23,902 Denise, you ever been followed? 161 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,028 Hell, yeah. 162 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,863 One time, I went to the movies by myself, right? 163 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,448 Theater full of empty seats. 164 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,658 This dude comes and sits down right next to me, 165 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,202 being a creeper the whole time. 166 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,954 Then after the movie, he followed my ass home. 167 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,539 Had to pretend my cell phone was a Taser just to scare him away. 168 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,916 Damn. What movie was it? 169 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,334 Failure to Launch. 170 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:42,587 The Matthew McConaughey rom-com? Why'd you see that? 171 00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,005 Okay, after that story, you're criticizing me 172 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,006 for my movie choice? 173 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,007 Kind of. 174 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,426 You saw it in the theaters? 175 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,468 What, you see the trailer and you thought 176 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,053 it looked interesting? 177 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,472 Okay, first off, Sarah Jessica Parker is bae. 178 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,433 And you know I got diverse cultural tastes. 179 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:56,393 Uh, interesting that you'd go see Failure to Launch, 180 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,228 but when I invited you to see You, Me and Dupree, 181 00:07:58,312 --> 00:07:59,271 you said, "Nah." 182 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,439 Uh, 'cause my girl 183 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,441 Sarah Jessica Parker isn't in that one. 184 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:04,651 True. She did kill it in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. 185 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,693 That's Jennifer Garner. 186 00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:07,028 She killed it too. 187 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,571 Look, none of that matters. 188 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,531 If you're born with a vagina, everybody knows 189 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,992 creepy dudes are just a part of the deal. 190 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,452 Yeah, there are a million things that guys 191 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,412 have no clue about that are so annoying. 192 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,997 I don't tell anybody about half of it. 193 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,623 Like what? 194 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,959 Uh, okay, so you remember when we went to brunch 195 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,710 and we both Instagrammed the picture of that frittata? 196 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,629 Ooh, that frittata was fluffy as hell. 197 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:25,630 Okay, pull it up. 198 00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:26,923 What are your comments? 199 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,592 Um, I got one from Arnold. 200 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,220 "Yum town. Population: Dev." 201 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:33,472 All right. 202 00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:34,848 Check mine out. 203 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,557 "I want to fuck your face"? 204 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:37,558 Who said that? 205 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,311 Some random person 206 00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,729 with a dick who wanted to use it to fuck my face. 207 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,190 It's not even a picture of my face. 208 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,774 It's eggs. 209 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,734 That's why I had to make my account private. 210 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,028 Oh, man, that's the worst. 211 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,488 Listen, tell us something. 212 00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,614 What can two gentlemen like us do to help? 213 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:52,615 I don't know. 214 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,242 Don't do that stuff? 215 00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,619 So don't follow women around, 216 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,372 and don't write, "I want to fuck your face," 217 00:08:58,455 --> 00:08:59,373 on Instagram? 218 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,999 I'll do it. 219 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,835 Although, just so you guys know, even before all of this, 220 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,253 I consider myself a feminist. 221 00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,880 Really, Arnold? 222 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,507 A feminist is a person that thinks men and women 223 00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,133 should be treated equally. 224 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,551 And I fully support that. 225 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,179 So, my good sir, I'm a feminist. 226 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,348 Wow, I'm really impressed you knew that. 227 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,392 Dude, I know tons of fun facts. 228 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,102 For example, did you know that all the ants in the world 229 00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,480 weigh as much as all the humans in the world? 230 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,773 I'm just saying, if they possessed our intelligence 231 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:29,861 and could somehow organize, it'd be a fair fight. 232 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:30,987 So I'm gonna pick up that couch 233 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,364 from that Craigslist guy today. 234 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,365 Can you come with me? 235 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,366 Sorry, boo, I got to get back 236 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,076 to the Garden Depot commercial. 237 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,369 I could do it. 238 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,620 My large stature can keep you safe. 239 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:42,582 I'm a great negotiator, get you those primo prices. 240 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:43,708 And I can help you carry it home. 241 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,252 That sounds great. 242 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,253 Though you definitely didn't need 243 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,421 to provide three reasons. 244 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,047 Nobody else was itching to go. 245 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,049 Well, like I said, I'm a great negotiator. 246 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:56,096 So what's it like being a giant? 247 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,514 It's pretty good. 248 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,349 I always have a good view at a concert. 249 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,184 Planes are tough, though. 250 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,769 What's it like being tiny? 251 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,187 Oh, it's fine. 252 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:07,065 Planes are great. Concerts are tough. 253 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,734 I wonder what experiences are similar for us. 254 00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:13,321 Hmm, hunger, love, bad smells-- 255 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:14,406 Mouse! 256 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,949 What? What? Where? 257 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,617 It ran right in front of me. 258 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,827 Oh, okay, well, I think it's gone now, so... 259 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,246 It's disgusting. 260 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:24,874 Oh, oh, you seem pretty shaken up. 261 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,460 Yeah. 262 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:30,297 Do you-- You want to go get some boba tea? 263 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,006 Yeah, boba. 264 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,467 Okay. It's okay. 265 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,720 Hey. 266 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,139 What's up with black dudes and their barbers? 267 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,474 Why's it such a big deal? 268 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:41,933 I could be a black barber. 269 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:42,934 No, you couldn't. 270 00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,603 It's super hard. 271 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,396 You can't fuck up the line above their forehead. 272 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,439 It's got to be straight. 273 00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:48,689 Oh, what, so I can't shave a straight line? 274 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,400 Come on, of course I can do that. 275 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:52,527 Oh, fuck, I think this dude over here is jerking off. 276 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,739 Damn it. 277 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,326 Third masturbator I've seen this year. Creepy dudes, man. 278 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,368 We'll just go over to the other side. 279 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:01,453 No, no, no, no, wait. 280 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,079 We can't just keep letting this shit slide. 281 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,456 We got to do something. 282 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:05,748 Well, I'm all for doing something, 283 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,501 but what would we do, exactly? 284 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:08,793 What if we took a video of him 285 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,587 and posted that shit all over Facebook? 286 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,921 He'd never be able to get a job again. 287 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,381 So we Internet shame him? 288 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:14,799 I mean, in theory, it works. 289 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:16,468 But it's kind of a long-term play. 290 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,137 And who knows if the clip will go viral, you know? 291 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,555 Maybe blogs will pick it up, 292 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:21,889 maybe someone makes a meme, but-- 293 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,224 Okay, okay, okay, you right. 294 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:25,059 Internet's too fickle. 295 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,478 Oh, I got it. 296 00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:28,021 What if we make a citizen's arrest? 297 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,397 What? 298 00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,607 You've heard that before, right? 299 00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:31,983 "I'm making a citizen's arrest." 300 00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,527 If you're a citizen, you can arrest people. 301 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:34,861 Man, that shit ain't real. 302 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,737 How we both know the phrase? 303 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,031 Good point. 304 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,407 But then what? What we gonna do? 305 00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:40,908 Ask the conductor to call the police? 306 00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:42,202 The conductor? There's no conductor. 307 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:43,161 It's the G train. 308 00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,954 It's not fucking Shining Time Station. 309 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,414 Fine. We'll call the cops after. 310 00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:47,706 But we're gonna need evidence, though. 311 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,334 Okay. 312 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,169 I'll act like I'm looking at a photo. 313 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,171 Oh, yeah. Oh, hey, yeah. 314 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,964 Look at that. 315 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,341 All right, that's enough footage, all right. 316 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,634 Let's arrest this fool. 317 00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:58,885 Okay, so on three, we both go, 318 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,261 "Stop what you're doing! 319 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,513 This is a citizen's arrest!" Right? 320 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:03,264 One, two, three. 321 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,183 Stop what you're doing! This is a citizen's arrest! 322 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,725 This is real. 323 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,478 This is a real thing that people can really do. 324 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,021 What are you talking about? I'm zipping my jacket. 325 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,523 Oh, really? Is this how you zip your jacket? 326 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:12,899 Man, we got video of you jerking off. 327 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,275 Yeah, I filmed it all on my phone, 328 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,902 and we're gonna show it to the cops. 329 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,070 What the hell are you talking about, pal? 330 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,196 I wasn't jerking off. 331 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,489 I saw you touching yourself. 332 00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:20,739 You're disgusting. 333 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:23,326 Ooh, looks like she saw it. 334 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,661 Yeah, I saw it too. 335 00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:26,246 I'm going to the conductor and I'm telling him 336 00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:27,746 to call the police. 337 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,207 See, I told you there was a conductor. 338 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,542 I thought it was all run by computers. 339 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,210 Dude, you're busted, all right? 340 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:33,253 And when this train stops, there's gonna be cops 341 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,254 out there waiting for you. 342 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,380 God damn it! 343 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:36,839 We did it! 344 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,221 Whoa, whoa. 345 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,598 Did you talk price with this guy? 346 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,266 Well, he has it listed for 300 bucks, 347 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,434 but I'm gonna try and talk him down to 200. 348 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:48,935 Right, right, right. 349 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,437 Listen, I'm an expert on Craigslist. 350 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,064 It's where I get all my silverware, all my musical instruments, 351 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,941 all my Gremlins merchandise. 352 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:57,277 Here's the pro move: good cop, bad cop. 353 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,612 You walk in, say, 354 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,821 "Oh, I love this couch. I'll take it." 355 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:03,199 I'll say, "Uh-uh! We're still shopping around." 356 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,367 Got it? 357 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,368 Got it. 358 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,203 Buzz him. 359 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,584 - Hey! - Hi! 360 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,001 - I'm Blake. - Rachel. 361 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,545 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 362 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,171 So this is the couch. 363 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,840 Oh, my God, it's amazing. 364 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,304 You kidding me? 365 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,557 I don't know, Arnold. It might be a little big. 366 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,768 Maybe we should shop around a little bit? 367 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:32,312 Oh, no, you make room for a piece this nice. 368 00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,105 It's so soft. 369 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,608 Why is it only $300? What's the catch? 370 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:39,944 No catch, I'm moving out of the country, so I just need to get rid of it. 371 00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:43,239 These pillows feel like they're filled with angel feathers. 372 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,661 Can I actually talk to you over here for a minute? 373 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,412 Yeah, sure. 374 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,167 Ladies and gentlemen, due to police activity, 375 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,502 we're being held momentarily... 376 00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:56,503 Hey, Officers. 377 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:57,545 We got the masturbator. 378 00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:58,672 He's right here. 379 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,006 Yeah. 380 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,174 You have the right to remain silent. 381 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,425 Don't do that. 382 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:03,510 Sorry. 383 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:07,888 Okay, guys, wait here for a sec. I'll be right back to get your statements. 384 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:12,686 Hey. 385 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,020 Can I ask you something? 386 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,396 Why would you do this? 387 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,565 Why not just jerk off at home like everybody else? 388 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,859 Honestly? It's just what I'm into. 389 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,277 Do you like the idea of someone seeing it, 390 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,987 or is it just the act of doing it? 391 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,823 What do I look like, a psychiatrist to you? 392 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:27,241 I don't know. It's just something I do. 393 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:31,329 What if society told youse you couldn't do the sexual acts that you liked? 394 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:34,749 Well, the sexual acts we like don't traumatize other people. 395 00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:36,417 Ha, but if they did, 396 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,712 I bet you'd have some real internal conflict. 397 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:39,962 Welcome to my world. 398 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,631 All right. 399 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,384 Stop making me weirdly kind of sympathize with you. 400 00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:49,806 You said you took a video of the incident? 401 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,140 Yeah. 402 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,559 Can you send it to this number? 403 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:53,685 Whoa. 404 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,312 So I'm texting you a video of him jerking off? 405 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,438 This is weird. 406 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,108 Come on, it is a little weird. 407 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:14,748 So I don't know how to say this, but my brother is a little bit off. 408 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,500 Yeah, he was such a sweet kid, but when he was 15, 409 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,210 he had an accident. 410 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,504 His favorite show was Home Improvement. 411 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,922 And it came on, 412 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,383 and he heard the... sound, 413 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,343 and he got so excited. 414 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,928 And he ran down to the basement to watch, 415 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,222 and he slammed his head on the low ceiling. 416 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,808 Poor kid didn't know how tall he had gotten. 417 00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:36,936 And, um, he's just never been the same since. 418 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,066 He really loves this couch. 419 00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:43,902 But we don't have a lot of money. 420 00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:46,487 Is there any way we can have it for 200 bucks? 421 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:47,864 Yeah, sure. 422 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,657 I need to clear everything out anyway. 423 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,618 Found some candy in the couch. 424 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,077 Love you, couch. 425 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,041 I just don't believe in vaccinations. 426 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,543 I just don't. 427 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,712 How can injecting a little bit of a disease 428 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,380 help you not get the disease? 429 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,758 You're just putting the disease in you. 430 00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:09,009 Garden Depot crew, what's up? 431 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:12,806 Hey, Dev. Um, Marie was just wrapping up. 432 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,475 Tell us stuff about your day today, please. 433 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:16,476 Please tell some stuff. 434 00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:17,936 Uh, okay. 435 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,688 Well, um, earlier today, my friend Denise and I 436 00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,189 were on the subway, right? 437 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,775 And we saw this dude jerking off. 438 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:26,110 So we made a citizen's arrest, 439 00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:27,528 and the police came and got him. 440 00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,696 Damn! 441 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,323 Good for you, man, wow. 442 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,159 You are a masturbation vigilante. 443 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,452 Well, I don't know about that. 444 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,370 That makes it sound like I was the one masturbating. 445 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,664 Oh, does it? 446 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:38,832 Yeah, like, I'm a vigilante that, like, 447 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,583 jerks off on villains. 448 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,710 Like, I see a bank robber, and I'm, like, "Stop it!" 449 00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,504 That would be really cool too. 450 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,755 "Don't mug that lady!" 451 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,047 Here, have a drink. 452 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,467 Yeah, to masturbation vigilante. 453 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,927 - Cheers. - Cheers. 454 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,763 The other day at CVS, this guy tells me, 455 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:56,557 "Smile more, beautiful." 456 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,017 I'm like, "Fuck off!" 457 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,978 Why should you smile more? Why? 458 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,731 'Cause women get paid 23 cents less on the dollar than men do? 459 00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:05,900 Uh, because the government's trying to regulate your body? 460 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:09,195 You smile more, uh-uh. Him smile less. 461 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,781 And then I sent a cop a photo of the guy's dick. 462 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,240 That is awesome. 463 00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,408 Let's all do shots. 464 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,786 Yeah! 465 00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,481 It's all around us, man. 466 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,275 I mean, look at this Garden Depot spot. 467 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:49,944 When they hire the background actresses, 468 00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:52,530 they got to get the hottest women ever. 469 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,407 They don't have to do that with the guys. 470 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,576 It's never like, "Oh, are these men handsome enough? 471 00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,036 Uh, do they all have six-packs?" 472 00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:59,078 Never. 473 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,872 They're, like, all frumpy bags of pudding. 474 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:01,915 No offense. 475 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,624 Yeah. 476 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,626 The whole spot, you know, it's these three guys 477 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,587 are having a barbecue, and one of their wives 478 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,922 comes up with lemonade. 479 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,965 Isn't that whole thing just antiquated? 480 00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:12,759 Yeah. All right. 481 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,260 I got to hit the hay, brother. 482 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,845 It's great chatting with you. All right. 483 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,137 See you, Brad! 484 00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:23,519 Uh, hey, man. 485 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,645 What's going on? Is my trailer moving? 486 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:25,688 I'm playing Ted. 487 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,523 Oh, man, I got some bad news. 488 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,067 They did a big rewrite this morning. 489 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:30,735 Your part got nixed. 490 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,571 Now it's three ladies having a barbecue. 491 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:34,530 What? 492 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,743 Hey, man, you changed the whole spot? 493 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,494 Oh, yeah. 494 00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,288 I'm so sorry, man. 495 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,040 I thought about what you were saying last night, 496 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,959 and I talked about it with the ad agency. 497 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:49,211 And... we just decided to go in this new direction. 498 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,504 Well, is there another direction 499 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:52,799 where I don't get fired and lose a bunch of money? 500 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:56,218 Oh, man, I wish I didn't have to let you go, brother. 501 00:18:56,302 --> 00:19:00,640 I did get you this vintage sheriff's badge 502 00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,726 as a sort of thank-you/I'm sorry gift. 503 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,437 You'll always be the sheriff on my set. 504 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,355 Well, I appreciate the sheriff's badge, 505 00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:11,233 but is there anything I can do in the commercial still? 506 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,277 I think I have an idea. 507 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,823 Oh, man, the sun is out, and that means barbecues. 508 00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,033 At Garden Depot, they have the best deals 509 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,451 on the biggest grills. 510 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,912 It's summertime! Let's get cooking. 511 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,205 Save up to 40% on our top grill brands 512 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,499 all summer long. 513 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,918 Get them while they're hot. 514 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,878 And rakes too! 515 00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,880 Oh, God, do we have smaller rakes? 516 00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:35,299 Because it looks like we're selling giant rakes. 517 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,384 Let-- Let's do another take, Dev. 518 00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:38,636 Sure. 519 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,389 And action! 520 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,184 And rakes too. 521 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,812 Okay, I think we got it. 522 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,229 Good job, man. 523 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,397 Thanks. 524 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,109 Anush? 525 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,902 Hey, man, how's it going? 526 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,445 Good, what're you doing here? 527 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:57,697 I just booked a part in this commercial. 528 00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:58,739 I'm the rake guy! 529 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,993 What? What's wrong? 530 00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,285 Hey, where you going? 531 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,996 Hey, are you in this commercial too? 532 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,249 And rakes too. 533 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,460 Goddamn, he's good. 534 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,171 I know, right? 535 00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:17,800 Hey, Dev. 536 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,093 Hey, what's up, Diana? 537 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,594 Um, we just all felt really bad 538 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,221 about what happened to you. 539 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,348 I mean, we loved having more to do in the commercial, 540 00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:26,684 but it sucks that you couldn't be in it at all. 541 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,938 So we got you this. 542 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,148 Whoa. 543 00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:35,234 A guy jerking off on the subway, on a cake. 544 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,403 Shout-out to the pastry team at the grocery store 545 00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,030 for doing that design for you. 546 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,323 Yeah, it was definitely uncomfortable. 547 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,409 I'm not really sure what they think this cake is for. 548 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,536 But anyway, thanks for saying what you said to Brad 549 00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,121 about the commercial. 550 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:48,414 It's just really nice that you tried to see it 551 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,041 from our perspective. 552 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,044 Also, the cake is 100% gluten-free. 553 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,921 Do you know what gluten does to you? 554 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,839 Lupus. Gluten gives you lupus. 555 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,174 Okay, Marie. 556 00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:00,593 So you got fired. 557 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,344 At least you still got to attend the wrap party. 558 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,971 Yes, great consolation. 559 00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:06,766 Cash bar and bad nachos. 560 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,768 I'm never buying one of those grills. 561 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,811 Actually, I'm gonna buy a bunch of those grills, 562 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,354 deplete their stock, 563 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,814 then return them at the end of the summer. 564 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:14,899 Boom! 565 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,192 Thanks, buddy. 566 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,027 Might be a little unnecessary, though. 567 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:20,320 To me not getting fired at my next gig! 568 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,159 Hey, man, I'm so sorry that things didn't work out, 569 00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,870 but your idea came out really great. 570 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:28,955 Aw, thanks, man. 571 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:29,956 Yeah. 572 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,290 Hey, hey. 573 00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:33,584 Brad Honeycutt, Brad Honeycutt, okay. 574 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,253 Yeah. I'm really sorry again. 575 00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:37,797 Hey, Brad Honeycutt, okay. 576 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,590 So there's a thing. 577 00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:40,674 What? 578 00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,260 You didn't notice that? 579 00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:44,053 That guy only introduced himself to the men at the table. 580 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:46,680 He went right past us, like Denise and I were invisible. 581 00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,515 Yeah, he totally snubbed us. 582 00:21:48,599 --> 00:21:49,892 I don't know, I don't think that was intentional. 583 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,102 You guys were sitting in the corner. 584 00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:52,352 He was probably just in a rush. 585 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,147 Yeah, well, in his rush, he managed to shake hands 586 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:55,731 with two random dudes and Arnold. 587 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,108 He didn't think we were important enough. 588 00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:58,234 I don't know. 589 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,527 Seems like you might be reading a bit much into it. 590 00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:02,029 We're telling you that this is something 591 00:22:02,113 --> 00:22:03,739 that definitely happens to women all the time. 592 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,449 But fine, deny our perception of the world. 593 00:22:05,532 --> 00:22:07,034 Here's my issue. 594 00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:09,495 He just went to the bathroom, washed his hands, they're still wet. 595 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,038 I don't want to shake no wet hands. 596 00:22:11,122 --> 00:22:14,250 Now I got to wash my hands. BRB. 597 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,835 Man, I hate this shit. 598 00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:17,336 I'm gonna get a shot of Sprite. 599 00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:21,841 Are you really mad at me right now? 600 00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:23,259 Kind of. 601 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:24,510 Not that mad, though, right? 602 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:25,678 Hey! 603 00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,138 What? Why are you mad at me? 604 00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:29,056 Your beef's with Brad Honeycutt. 605 00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:32,101 Do you really think that guy has something against women 606 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:34,228 'cause he didn't shake you and Denise's hands? 607 00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:36,522 You're not listening to what I'm trying to say at all. 608 00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:38,232 All right, whatever. 609 00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:40,318 I'm sorry you missed out on the life-changing experience 610 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,986 of shaking hands with Brad Honeycutt. 611 00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:43,321 What a tragedy. 612 00:22:43,403 --> 00:22:45,363 I'm gonna go get a drink. 613 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,241 Rachel! 614 00:22:59,128 --> 00:23:01,339 So I was thinking about the whole 615 00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:03,090 Brad Honeycutt situation. 616 00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:06,802 And, um, there's a chance that what he did 617 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,679 may have been a little sexist. 618 00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:11,224 Great, cool apology. 619 00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:13,226 Look, I'm just saying I'm sorry 620 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,810 I defended Brad Honeycutt. 621 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,394 Can you at least give me that I'm not some 622 00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:18,356 sort of sexist monster for thinking that 623 00:23:18,438 --> 00:23:22,484 maybe he wasn't motivated by a crazy sexist agenda 624 00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:24,653 when he didn't introduce himself to you guys? 625 00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:27,365 I'm not saying that you're a sexist monster. 626 00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:29,658 I just think it's weird that your first instinct 627 00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,619 is to act like I'm crazy and defend Brad Honeycutt 628 00:23:32,703 --> 00:23:35,039 instead of just believing me. 629 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:36,749 Well, I guess, in my head, I'd like to think 630 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:38,709 someone isn't so awful that they wouldn't 631 00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:41,337 introduce themselves to someone just 'cause they're a woman. 632 00:23:41,419 --> 00:23:42,796 And what I'm saying is that there are a lot 633 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,715 of subtle little things that happen to me 634 00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:48,594 and all women, even in our little progressive world. 635 00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:51,222 And when somebody, especially my boyfriend, 636 00:23:51,305 --> 00:23:54,100 tells me I'm wrong without having any way of knowing 637 00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:56,894 my personal experience, it's insulting. 638 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,398 Okay. I get that. 639 00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:02,316 Well, I mean, I guess there's no way 640 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:03,441 I'll ever really know what it's like 641 00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:05,694 to be in your shoes, so... 642 00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:08,948 I'll try to do a better job of listening, all right? 643 00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:12,159 So can we call it a draw? 644 00:24:12,243 --> 00:24:13,869 Nope. I won. 645 00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:16,122 - Hey! - I won! 646 00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:18,456 Hello, everybody, I won! 647 00:24:18,540 --> 00:24:21,668 I had a fight with my boyfriend, and I just won that fight! 648 00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:23,629 No, we came to an understanding 649 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:25,214 after a thoughtful discussion. 650 00:24:25,298 --> 00:24:26,215 I won!