1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,925 [relaxed folk music] 2 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:15,015 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,967 The infected! They're closing in! 4 00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:51,635 [laughs] Just kidding. 5 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,428 You're safe at craft services. 6 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:54,680 Colin Salmon. 7 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,431 Hi, Dev. I'm a huge fan. 8 00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:59,768 Oh, good to see you're charging up for the scene. 9 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,311 Watch the dairy, though. 10 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,897 It's not good for the voice. 11 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,356 Uh-oh. Well, this is my second one. 12 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,733 I'm excited for the scene today. 13 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:06,901 As am I. 14 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,736 But, of course, today is also the anniversary 15 00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,030 of the disappearance of my cat, Shakespeare, 16 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,991 so there's a bit of a dark cloud above us today. 17 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,077 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. What happened? 18 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,205 Took him to the Swiss premiere of Alien vs. Predator. 19 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:23,000 We were enjoying a picnic by Lake Geneva when an owl came, 20 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,293 snatched Shakespeare with his talons. 21 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,795 They flew off. 22 00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:29,048 We never saw each other again. 23 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,925 The memory of that gruesome silhouette 24 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:33,343 against an Alpine sunset 25 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,387 is something I will never forget. 26 00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:41,100 All right, well, um... 27 00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:42,770 it was great to meet you. 28 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:45,146 Um, I'm gonna eat this cinnamon raisin bagel. 29 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,106 I'll see you out there. 30 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,360 Bye. 31 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:56,408 So, guys, in this scene, you're gonna be swarmed 32 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,159 by a horde of the "sickened." 33 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,745 You'll be wearing mech suits to defend yourself. 34 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,790 This is what they look like, just in case you'd like to know. 35 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:06,376 Um, but honestly, most of this is gonna be done in post. 36 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,669 It's kind of meaningless. 37 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,337 We really don't even need you here. 38 00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:11,715 It's gonna be 99% CGI. 39 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:15,176 But having said that, let's go to your marks. 40 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,512 [bell rings] 41 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:19,890 Action! 42 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:22,601 They're coming! Battle stations. 43 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,273 There's too many of them. 44 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:30,317 We're not gonna make it out of here. 45 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,194 We're not. But you will. 46 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:36,197 [yelling] 47 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,829 Cut. 48 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,038 [bell rings] 49 00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:46,041 - That was great... I suppose. - [man] Cut. Ten minutes. 50 00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:47,835 I mean, we won't know until after they CGI it, 51 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:51,130 which could easily be a year. 52 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,507 Um, just so I have a better sense of the scene, 53 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,468 how far away are the sickened when they start approaching? 54 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,553 It doesn't matter. 55 00:02:58,637 --> 00:02:59,721 Okay. 56 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:02,349 Um, should I maybe say a line 57 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,476 to motivate Colin's character to leave the scene? 58 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:08,147 Maybe just something like, "Get out of here, you bastard! 59 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,524 I'll hold them off! Tell my story!" 60 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:11,775 That's great. 61 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:12,901 That's great. I love that. 62 00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:13,902 I love that! 63 00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,236 Say whatever you want. 64 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,865 This movie's not really about words. 65 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,285 You've got a nice ear for dialogue. 66 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,287 You're not a writer, by any chance, are you? 67 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,330 I've thought about screenwriting. 68 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,708 So, yeah, I guess I'm kind of a writer. 69 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,043 Well, I've got this idea for a movie, 70 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,294 and I need somebody to bounce ideas off of. 71 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,797 You interested in coming by my trailer to discuss it? 72 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,716 Yeah, that'd be cool. 73 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,968 Hey, why does your trailer always smell like Cinnabons? 74 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,636 That's because I bake Cinnabons. 75 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,013 Really? 76 00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:42,305 Yeah. I have this small oven. 77 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,849 It's fantastic. 78 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,267 Come by my trailer tomorrow after lunch. 79 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:49,146 And save some room for dessert. 80 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,565 Because of the aforementioned Cinnabons. 81 00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,733 Okay. 82 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,526 [hip-hop music] 83 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,570 Man, why'd you drag me to a work party? 84 00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,655 'Cause you're my buddy. You're my friend. 85 00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,823 I want you to meet my coworkers. 86 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,241 Oh, that's nice. 87 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,868 Yeah, plus there's this girl here I'm trying to get with, 88 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:05,328 and if I showed up by myself, that'd seem kind of lame. 89 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,997 Uh-huh, I get that. 90 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,289 And I asked a bunch of other people to come, 91 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,290 and they said no. 92 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,375 Great, thanks. 93 00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,627 Ooh, champers. Yes, please. 94 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,922 Thank you. 95 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,549 So who is the lucky lady? 96 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,093 Ah, there she go. 97 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,178 That's Carla Meyers, the new editor in chief. 98 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,345 Cute, right? 99 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,430 Which person? 100 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,558 - [Denise] Over there, the redbone chick. - I don't see anybody with red bones. 101 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,476 No, it just means she's light-skinned. 102 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,895 It's a thing we say in the black community. 103 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:32,189 Oh, okay. So is Halle Berry a redbone? 104 00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:33,941 No, she's caramel. 105 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,400 Look, here's the deal. 106 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:36,902 She's straight, but lately I've been getting 107 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,528 some serious vibes from her. 108 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,447 Ooh, vibes that she wants to become a lesbian? 109 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,491 No, vibes that she's curious about an adventure with Denise. 110 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,577 It's not about changing a woman's sexuality, Dev. 111 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,871 It's about one night in heaven. 112 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,497 Look, I provide a service. 113 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:50,749 What's the service? 114 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,251 I can make a woman come more times in 20 minutes 115 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,585 than she has in the last six months. 116 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:54,836 Oh, that's a really good service. 117 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,255 All right, I'm in. I'm your wingman. 118 00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:58,381 [Denise] Oh, shit, here she comes. 119 00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:00,259 Okay, just be cool. 120 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,426 - Denise! - Hey, Carla! 121 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,220 - Hey! - What's up? 122 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,972 - I'm feeling the suit. - Thank you. 123 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:06,640 - I see you. - Thank you so much. 124 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,766 Who is this? 125 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:08,767 I don't know this dude. 126 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,185 Come on, let's get a drink. 127 00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,938 [mouthing words] 128 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,860 Um, excuse me. 129 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,863 Hey, Vineet, it's Nina. So good to see you. 130 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:23,865 No, wrong Indian guy. I'm not Vineet. 131 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,826 No, I know, I'm trying to get rid of this weirdo over there. 132 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,327 Just pretend you're talking to me for a little bit. 133 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,954 Oh, okay. 134 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,664 Um, do I need to get in character as Vineet, 135 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:31,790 or can I be myself? 136 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:34,293 No, you can-- You can be yourself. 137 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:35,418 What if I want to be a different Indian guy 138 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,004 named Darwish who sells tractors? 139 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:41,133 Okay, Darwish. How's the tractor business? 140 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,634 [sighs] Not good. 141 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:45,304 So far, I've sold, mm, zero tractors. 142 00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:46,387 - Oh, no. - Yeah. 143 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,265 Apparently there's no farmland in Manhattan. 144 00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:51,018 It was-- It was a bad place to set up shop. 145 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,060 I'm Dev. 146 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,270 Hey, I'm Nina Stanton, the food critic. 147 00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:54,353 What? 148 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:57,649 Is that job as ridiculously awesome and easy as it sounds? 149 00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:00,194 What's the best restaurant you've been to recently? 150 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,237 - Dirty French. - What was your favorite dish? 151 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,156 Uh, the chicken and crepes. 152 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:07,075 Write that shit down. You just wrote a review. 153 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:08,409 Whoa. 154 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:11,163 So when you make a reservation at a restaurant, 155 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,581 do you use an alias, or do you use your real name? 156 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,792 Well, people know my face at this point, but yeah, 157 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,961 whenever I make a res, I have to use a fake name. 158 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,796 Yeah, see, this is why I'd be a good critic. 159 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,256 I got so many aliases. 160 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,258 Um, Bartholomew Cubbins, 161 00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:25,384 um, Yahweh Manchester, 162 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,722 uh, and my favorite: just Essence. 163 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,891 Ooh, see, you're a natural. 164 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,767 If I ever need an apprentice, I'll hit you up. 165 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,769 Ooh, I'm down. 166 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,646 You want to work under me? 167 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,773 Whoa! Uh, that's pretty forward. 168 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,567 Yes, sure. 169 00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,113 Mm. 170 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,366 - Mmm. - [choked groan] 171 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,450 This is cool. You're cool. 172 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,336 Has anyone ever told you your makeout game's on fleek? 173 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,589 Hey, um, do you want some weed? 174 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,632 It's Purple Pineapple. 175 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,551 I always smoke it before I have sex. 176 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,721 Oh, shit! You're smoking it now! 177 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,806 This is so cool. 178 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,600 This is awesome. 179 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,185 I like all of this. 180 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,191 Nina, you are so cool. 181 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,318 I just like your whole vibe. 182 00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:26,863 I don't even know-- 183 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:30,867 This is, like, the coolest thing 184 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,286 that's ever happened to me. 185 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,538 Can we just take a moment to acknowledge how cool this is? 186 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:38,833 [clears throat] 187 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,001 What? 188 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,629 You have, like, a sick-ass apartment too? 189 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:43,964 This is crazy. 190 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,466 Am I in a lucid dream right now? 191 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,885 Am I, like, Vanilla Sky-ing myself right now? 192 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,678 Um, I'm gonna have some wine. Do you want some wine? 193 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,264 Yeah. 194 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,349 Pfft! Look at this view! 195 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,683 What, do you get, like, $1 million 196 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,727 per restaurant review? 197 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,896 Yeah, around that. 198 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:03,066 The uni with wasabi snow, while conceptually ambitious, 199 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,068 was a disappointment. 200 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,528 $1 million. Boom! 201 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,239 [laughs] 202 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:12,242 [R&B music] 203 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:13,827 ♪ ♪ 204 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,329 Do you have a condom? 205 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,580 Uh, yeah, I do. 206 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,294 Hey, wha-- 207 00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:25,546 Um, who's that guy that's at the beach? 208 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,174 Oh, that's my brother. 209 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,758 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 210 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,760 Wh-wh-why does it look like 211 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:34,681 you're getting married to your brother in that photo? 212 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,142 Okay, I'm married. 213 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,227 - Aw, fuck! Come on! - No. 214 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,021 I knew this was too good to be true. 215 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,397 Nina, no. 216 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,691 [stammers] I can't do this. 217 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,567 No, it's fine. It's fine. 218 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,236 No, no-- 219 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,030 I don't want your husband to murder me. 220 00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,865 Or I can't be, like, some home wrecker person. 221 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,908 No, no, no, you're not cheating. 222 00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,994 I mean, my marriage is my business. 223 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,078 If I'm okay with this, 224 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:58,663 you don't have to worry about it. 225 00:08:58,746 --> 00:08:59,914 [groans] 226 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,250 I mean-- 227 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:06,296 I kind of want to do this, but-- 228 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,882 No, I can't. It's not a good idea. 229 00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,346 Do you care about the environment? 230 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:17,598 My husband's company is the number one polluter 231 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:18,725 of the Hudson River. 232 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,269 He is personally responsible for the death 233 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:26,233 of thousands of local ducks. 234 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:30,611 So if you care about our country's lakes and rivers, 235 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,073 we should totally have sex right now. 236 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,617 Nina, you're very attractive. 237 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:42,207 And I feel horrible about those ducks, but... 238 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,334 I think I should get the fuck out of here. 239 00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:45,793 All right. 240 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:48,380 I'm putting my number in your phone. 241 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:51,925 And when you change your mind, text me. 242 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:55,053 Wow, you are so confident. 243 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,638 Ooh, this is cool. This is the clean room. 244 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,682 It's where we shot the scene where the virus gets loose. 245 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:00,767 Okay. 246 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,977 Come on, Denise, get excited. This is movie magic, boo. 247 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:06,356 Fine, it's amazing, and I'm extremely jealous of you. 248 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,359 So what happened to you last night? 249 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,444 You left before I did. 250 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,652 Oh, yeah. 251 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,321 A powerful redbone named Carla 252 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,198 had a Denise experience last night. 253 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,616 What? What does that mean? 254 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,368 It means I went to town on the puss. 255 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,203 She came, like, eight times in 30 minutes. 256 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,662 Then she tried to do the same thing to me, 257 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,081 but she didn't know what she was doing, 258 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,541 so I only came, like, three times. 259 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,875 It was adorable. 260 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,586 Wait. She came eight times in 30 minutes? 261 00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:28,795 Like, how is that even possible? 262 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:29,879 Look, I don't have time 263 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,256 to explain lesbian shit to you, okay? 264 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,382 We come more than anyone. 265 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,675 Now, what happened to you last night? 266 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,761 That food critic lady, Nina, took me home. 267 00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:38,346 Wait. Nina? She's married. 268 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,431 Man, that's ratch. 269 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,932 No, no, no, I'm not ratch. I didn't do anything. 270 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:41,933 I didn't know she was married. 271 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,059 I left as soon as I found out. 272 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,352 You know, that would've been fucked up. 273 00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,187 Uh, yeah, it is. 274 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,898 Well, unless they have one of those open marriages. 275 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,359 You know, like, a Will and Jada situation. 276 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,945 No, there's no arrangement as far as I know. 277 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,364 But she did seem, like, super chill about it, you know? 278 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,825 I mean, between us, like, if it was purely a sexual thing, 279 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,410 would that be so fucked up to do? 280 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,996 Like, I'm not trying to start a family with her or something. 281 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,206 Well, you didn't see any photos of any cute white kids 282 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,625 sitting around, did you? 283 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,376 Um, yeah. 284 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,086 There was photos of Jonathan Taylor Thomas 285 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,671 in his prime all over the place. 286 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:12,964 No! No kids. 287 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,382 Well, if that's the case, 288 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,092 you're free to enter the puss. 289 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:20,221 Mm, that's still a pretty risky puss to enter, though. 290 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:23,350 Like, I don't want to end up like that dude in Unfaithful. 291 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,725 You know, the husband, 292 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,810 the Richard Gere of the situation, 293 00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:27,395 starts getting suspicious. 294 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,523 He hires a photographer to follow around his wife. 295 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,274 Next thing you know, he's looking 296 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,568 at a bunch of photos of me and her, just like, 297 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,403 uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. 298 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,030 Then he's like, "All right, there he is. 299 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,406 That's the guy!" 300 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:39,907 Next thing you know, he's beating me to death 301 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,118 with a snow globe, rolling my body up in a rug, 302 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,786 and tossing me in a landfill. 303 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,746 Unfaithful's dope. 304 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,499 What, you've seen it? I just told you the whole plot. 305 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:48,583 Why didn't you stop me? 306 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:49,792 I was feeling the recap. 307 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,294 Oh, thanks. 308 00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,470 Here's the other thing: everyone cheats. 309 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,971 Look at that guy. 310 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,182 He's all old and beaten down. 311 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,142 He's definitely cheated on his wife. 312 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,894 Or had his wife cheat on him. 313 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,937 More likely the second scenario. 314 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:10,980 No way, you're totally wrong. 315 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,315 That's my buddy Benjamin. 316 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,068 He loves his wife. Hey, Benjamin! 317 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,487 This is my buddy Denise. She's visiting the set. 318 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,322 Oh, hey. 319 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,781 Have you ever cheated on your wife? 320 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,200 Hey, take it easy, Denise. 321 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,578 No, that's all right. It's a great question. 322 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,995 Definitely thought about it. 323 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,830 Everyone's thought about it. 324 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,790 Well... 325 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,586 there was this one time, all right? 326 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,796 It was this camera operator in Winnipeg. 327 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,884 Small crew, spent a lot of time together with her on set. 328 00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:42,929 Tension was definitely starting to build. 329 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,098 Then one night, it was just the two of us 330 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,849 at this shitty hotel bar. 331 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,018 And there was karaoke involved. 332 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:53,314 And I could tell she wanted me to make a move. 333 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:57,736 Right at the brink of me making that decision... 334 00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,404 What happened? 335 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,030 I went into my room. 336 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,032 Jerked off. Fell asleep. 337 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,117 The twist. 338 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,202 That's what you got to do in that scenario, right? 339 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,829 It's 100% success rate in terms of you 340 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:12,041 not wanting to have sex anymore after you jerk off. 341 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,251 But what about all your cuddles 342 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,628 and your critically acclaimed dramas? 343 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:15,962 I thought you had a rock solid thing. 344 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,631 I mean, I love all that stuff, all right? 345 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:21,134 But I've been-- I've been with my wife for so long, you know? 346 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,178 What's the longest you've ever been with anybody? 347 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,305 Two years. 348 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,766 I've been with my wife 23 years. 349 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,892 That's 20 more years, right? 350 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,186 We've had sex a lot. 351 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:35,315 Like, in the thousands. Like, in the deep thousands. 352 00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,816 And we've had every version of sex, right? 353 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,487 Time and time again, different versions of sex. 354 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,196 We've covered it all. 355 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,365 We have no more ideas left. 356 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,700 There you go. 357 00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:48,077 Why are you asking me all this stuff anyway? 358 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,996 Some married lady wants to have sex with Dev. 359 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,540 [laughs] With Dev? 360 00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,083 That's great. 361 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,627 You gonna do it? 362 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,919 I don't know. 363 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,045 Wouldn't you be upset if your wife 364 00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,422 cheated on you with some dude? 365 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:03,009 I guess I'd be depressed a little bit, yeah, you know. 366 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,219 But what if you didn't know about it 367 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:08,097 and she didn't have any emotional attachment to the guy? 368 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:11,392 Or girl, I mean, if this was a Denise experience situation. 369 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:14,020 So you're basically like a human dildo. 370 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,564 It's not ideal, but if I didn't know about it, 371 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:17,898 it wouldn't kill me. 372 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:18,983 Exactly. 373 00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:23,321 So it's like she went to the store to buy a dildo, 374 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,948 but in the package, it was my penis, 375 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,576 and it was attached to my body. 376 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,745 I'm just a human dildo. 377 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,751 [Colin] Come. 378 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,253 [classical music] 379 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,088 Ah, Dev! 380 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,841 Good to see you. 381 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,426 Welcome to Shakespeare's trailer. 382 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,220 Man, that must have been some cat. 383 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:50,765 I'll run you through the elevator pitch for the movie. 384 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:51,932 Okay. 385 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:58,439 So what is the one thing everyone has? 386 00:14:58,523 --> 00:14:59,691 I don't know. 387 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,192 A car. 388 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:05,822 So I do a movie where I am a car. 389 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:09,367 So it's like Knight Rider and you're doing the voice? 390 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:12,620 Nope! I am the car. 391 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:15,456 Batman has a Batmobile. Thor has a Thor-mobile. 392 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,124 I don't think he does. 393 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:20,587 But in this movie, I don't have a car. 394 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,422 I am the car. 395 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,217 How do you get the power to turn into a car? 396 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,554 That's where you come in, writer. 397 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:31,890 What do you think? 398 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,100 Maybe you're sitting in your car 399 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,018 and you get struck by lightning? 400 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,270 That's good. 401 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,188 That's very good. 402 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,065 Just a thought. 403 00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:44,193 That might be the single greatest idea I've ever heard. 404 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,319 It is? 405 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,654 Until now. 406 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:49,240 Because, Dev, I'm inspired by you, 407 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,825 and I am feeding off your energy. 408 00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:53,828 And I think I've come up with a title for the film: 409 00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:55,622 CarPerson. 410 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:56,997 No, wait. Wait. 411 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,920 CarHuman. 412 00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,213 Why not just CarMan? 413 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:07,341 "Colin Salmon is CarMan." 414 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:10,177 Dev, you've done it again! It's brilliant. 415 00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,971 And we should celebrate with a Cinnabon, 416 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,765 and I won't take no for an answer. 417 00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:14,974 Okay, I'll have one. 418 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,893 Great! 419 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,896 We just have to wait for the glaze to thaw. 420 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,064 Takes a few hours. 421 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,024 Should be ready by nightfall. 422 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,907 Do you have any specials? 423 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,742 Yeah, the King Kong Banana Split. 424 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,202 We take ice cream, bananas, and pineapple, 425 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,747 and we add sesame caramel and Luxardo. 426 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,165 It's amazing. 427 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,792 Whoa, I'll take it. 428 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,001 Okay. 429 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,753 Clark, right. 430 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:46,046 Hey, hold on one second, Greg. 431 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,883 Uh, give me whatever this pudge-ball's having. That looks good. 432 00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,552 Yeah, I'll have one of those too. 433 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,387 I'm sorry, that was the last one. 434 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,222 What? But I was next in line. 435 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,685 Hey, excuse me. 436 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,478 I was actually next in line. You cut in front of me. 437 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:01,729 That's the last King Kong Banana Split. 438 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,272 I kind of feel like you got to give that to me. 439 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,233 I don't know. 440 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,318 This guy's fucking talking to me. 441 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:08,361 [whispering] It's him. 442 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,114 [dramatic tones] 443 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,540 Hold on a second. 444 00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:21,833 What the hell are you talking about? 445 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,668 I was next in line. You cut in front. 446 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,294 Look, kid, there's plenty of ice cream here. 447 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,338 I don't have time for this shit. 448 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,968 Oh, that is disgusting. 449 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,680 Just get him to sign the fucking thing, Greg! 450 00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,894 [both moaning] 451 00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:49,903 [dramatic tones] 452 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,537 So, uh, I hooked up with Nina. 453 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,956 Oh, nah, you should not have done that. 454 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,374 What? You were the one that told me to do it. 455 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,667 You said it wasn't a big deal. 456 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,544 Yeah, but that was more of an abstract discussion. 457 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:07,962 How was it abstract? 458 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:09,505 It's a real person in my real life. 459 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,967 If you get caught, you could ruin these people's lives. 460 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:13,927 I'm just saying, be careful, man. 461 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,135 Be careful? 462 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,345 Aren't you the one making your boss come 463 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,097 a thousand times every 15 minutes? 464 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,224 Yeah, but what we have is real, okay? 465 00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:21,976 Do not be fucking with our dynamics, all right? 466 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:24,062 The point is, you are messing with a serious bond 467 00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,730 in this woman's life. 468 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,732 It's like, it's not to be taken lightly. 469 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,108 Why didn't you say this shit last time? 470 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,401 I didn't think you'd actually go through with it. 471 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:31,318 Why not? 472 00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:32,779 Because you're a man of principles. 473 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,530 That's something I've always respected about you, Dev. 474 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:35,782 Well, that's nice. 475 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,116 Yeah, but I don't think that shit anymore, 476 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,451 not after this. 477 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,578 Well, whatever, all right? It was a one-time thing. 478 00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:41,913 It's not a big deal. 479 00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:43,664 Her husband's not gonna murder me. 480 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:47,085 [cell phone rings] 481 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:50,797 It's Colin Salmon. He's FaceTiming me. 482 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,757 I guess I got to take it. It might be about CarMan. 483 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,884 What the fuck is CarMan? That sounds stupid. 484 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:57,887 Hello? 485 00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,346 Hello? Dev? 486 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,223 It's Colin Salmon. 487 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:04,018 I need you to get over to the apartment right away. 488 00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:06,020 I've got something really urgent. 489 00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:08,355 So if you can get over as quickly as you can? 490 00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:10,399 Oh, okay, is this about CarMan? 491 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,402 No, it's much more important than that. 492 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,529 All right, well, um-- Uh, yeah, just text me your address. 493 00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:16,739 I'll be right over. 494 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,532 See you soon. 495 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,745 What the fuck? Seems intense. 496 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:23,830 All right, you got these, right? 497 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:24,914 - I'll be right back. - What? 498 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:25,999 Well, actually, I'm not gonna come back. 499 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,416 I'm just gonna leave. But you got these, right? 500 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,168 What the fuck? I guess. 501 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,711 I'll hit you back at some point. 502 00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,254 You keep saying that. 503 00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:35,508 Colin? 504 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,935 Hey, Colin? 505 00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:48,729 Just let me finish this sonnet. 506 00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:01,784 [inhales] 507 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,120 [exhales] 508 00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,290 Dev, welcome. 509 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,626 Wow, this is an amazing apartment. 510 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,628 Yes, it is. 511 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,714 You're just in time. 512 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:17,175 I've got something very special to show you. 513 00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,519 Holy shit! 514 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,397 Did you make this? 515 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,524 This is my passion project. 516 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:34,567 Not many people realize, 517 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:38,029 but I'm an amateur toppler. 518 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,698 Would you like to initiate the domino effect? 519 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,449 - Me? - Mm. 520 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,035 I mean, don't you want to knock them down? 521 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:46,370 It must have taken you hours to set this up. 522 00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,122 Weeks, actually. 523 00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:50,666 But for me, the joy comes from setting it all up. 524 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,792 Here. 525 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,800 Take the pushing wand and begin the sequence. 526 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,395 [exciting orchestral music] 527 00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:16,943 ♪ ♪ 528 00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:42,176 That was for Shakespeare. 529 00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:45,596 That was incredible. 530 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,431 Yes. 531 00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:49,100 Well, thanks for coming over. 532 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,603 I'll see you on set. 533 00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:53,771 Good night. 534 00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,069 You know what I was thinking about the other day? 535 00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,904 There's a lot of entertainers on the subway, right? 536 00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,572 But where's the magicians? 537 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,908 I feel like that guy could make a killing, you know. 538 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:07,201 Like, next stop, 42nd street. 539 00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:08,786 And then he's like, "Nope, we're in Brooklyn." 540 00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:10,163 - [phone rings] - That's really interesting. 541 00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,580 Sorry, do you mind if I take this? 542 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,706 It's my friend Steve. 543 00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:14,250 Oh, sure, yeah. Go ahead. 544 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,840 Hey there. 545 00:22:20,923 --> 00:22:22,216 Hey. 546 00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:24,260 It's Nina, remember? 547 00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,679 We had sex pretty recently. 548 00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:28,931 I was amazing, and you were okay. 549 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,183 Hey, can you hush? 550 00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:31,851 We're in, like, a public place. 551 00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:33,102 I'm here with somebody. 552 00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:34,187 Oh, is she married too? 553 00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,938 - Is this your thing now? - No! 554 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,064 Shut up! 555 00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:39,108 Is this a hot date? 556 00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:40,776 Yeah, maybe. 557 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,487 Come on, this is-- This is not a date. 558 00:22:43,570 --> 00:22:44,905 Why would you say that? 559 00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:46,448 Did you see what she was wearing? 560 00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,534 A hooded sweatshirt and New Balances? 561 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,037 She just decided to keep it cas'. 562 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:53,164 That is not what girls wear 563 00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:54,248 when they want to have sex with a guy. 564 00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:57,501 That's what they wear when they stay home and eat cookie dough. 565 00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:58,627 Where'd you meet her? 566 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:01,379 I met her on a very exclusive dating website. 567 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:03,299 You have to have at least one shared interest 568 00:23:03,381 --> 00:23:04,424 before you get matched up. 569 00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:06,010 We both like movies. 570 00:23:06,093 --> 00:23:08,470 Okay, well, that explains it. 571 00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:09,805 Clearly, she's one of these girls 572 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,557 who dates guys online for free food. 573 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,685 Damn, she did order two entrees. 574 00:23:14,768 --> 00:23:16,062 Mark's flying out to LA tonight, 575 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:18,147 so text me later. 576 00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:26,864 Everything okay with Steve? 577 00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,491 Oh, yeah, he just had to tell me this super funny story. 578 00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:31,327 Should we talk about movies? 579 00:23:35,373 --> 00:23:36,665 Um, wow, it's a really nice night. 580 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:38,084 Do you want to go grab a drink, maybe? 581 00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:39,877 Eh, I'm kind of tired. 582 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,004 I should probably put the sea bass in the fridge too. 583 00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:43,005 Yeah. 584 00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:44,464 Not to mention the short rib. 585 00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:46,384 And the chicken and crepes. 586 00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:48,135 I had a great time tonight. 587 00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:49,469 We should get dinner again next week. 588 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:52,348 There's this amazing sushi place that I want to try. 589 00:23:52,430 --> 00:23:54,516 Oh, all right, cool. That sounds good. 590 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,893 Um, all right, well, it was fun hanging out. 591 00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:56,977 Yeah. 592 00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:02,733 All right, bye. 593 00:24:02,816 --> 00:24:03,817 Bye. 594 00:24:06,237 --> 00:24:07,529 [sighs] 595 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:10,657 Fuck it. 596 00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:19,250 [door lock clicking] 597 00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:20,293 [whispering] Oh, shit. 598 00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:21,835 - Oh, shit, it's Mark. Hide. - What? 599 00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:23,129 - He's gonna hurt me. - Fuck, hide now. 600 00:24:23,212 --> 00:24:24,130 Behind the telescope? 601 00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:25,172 Shit! 602 00:24:25,256 --> 00:24:27,216 Just get in the closet and don't make a goddamn sound. 603 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:28,301 Fuck. 604 00:24:32,263 --> 00:24:33,180 Hey. 605 00:24:33,264 --> 00:24:34,265 Hey, babe. 606 00:24:34,348 --> 00:24:36,100 What are you doing home? 607 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:39,937 Well, turns out my flight's not till tomorrow. 608 00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:43,149 Greg the moron screwed up my itinerary. 609 00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:45,943 [both screaming] 610 00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:47,027 No! 611 00:24:47,111 --> 00:24:48,195 No, you fucking don't! 612 00:24:48,279 --> 00:24:49,571 - Nina, who is this? - Calm down. 613 00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:51,157 Mark, just calm down. 614 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,490 - Who the fuck is this? - I'm a contractor. 615 00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:53,784 I'm just here to fix the closet. 616 00:24:53,867 --> 00:24:55,577 I was just thinking about subletting the apartment. 617 00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:57,371 He's a guy I was sleeping with, okay? 618 00:24:57,455 --> 00:24:59,497 I slept with this guy. 619 00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:01,750 You're cheating on me with a little Indian guy? 620 00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:04,211 You didn't have to bring up my ethnicity or my size. 621 00:25:04,295 --> 00:25:06,339 Wait a minute. I know you. 622 00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:07,589 Wait. How do I know you? 623 00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,303 You cut in line in front of me at the ice cream store. 624 00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:13,429 You remember that? 625 00:25:13,511 --> 00:25:14,930 What? 626 00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:16,640 So you fucked my wife? 627 00:25:16,723 --> 00:25:18,100 It was the last King Kong Banana Split! 628 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:19,643 You didn't even eat it! You threw it in the trash! 629 00:25:19,726 --> 00:25:20,644 What is this ice cream thing? 630 00:25:20,727 --> 00:25:21,854 How the fuck can you do this to me? 631 00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:23,481 Oh, give me a fucking break, Mark. 632 00:25:23,563 --> 00:25:26,025 Like you weren't gonna bang some intern as soon as you landed. 633 00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:26,942 You know what? I can't do this. 634 00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:28,861 I'm gonna leave, and this time, I'm leaving for good. 635 00:25:31,738 --> 00:25:33,699 Why are you still here? 636 00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:34,867 You just said you were leaving. 637 00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:36,035 I thought it might be awkward if we were 638 00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:37,870 in the elevator together. 639 00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:39,913 Would you like to go first? Should I go first? 640 00:25:39,997 --> 00:25:41,248 Get the fuck out of my house! 641 00:25:41,332 --> 00:25:43,376 Okay, I'll go first! I'm sorry, bye! 642 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,464 Forgot my pants. 643 00:25:52,926 --> 00:25:55,721 Personally, I think dryers are full of shit, man. 644 00:25:55,804 --> 00:25:57,431 Like, the whole no-wrinkle setting? 645 00:25:57,515 --> 00:25:58,974 Please, come on. Explain it to me. 646 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:00,518 How is the heat different? 647 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,102 Dude, everybody knows the no-wrinkle setting 648 00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:03,312 isn't a real thing. 649 00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:05,356 You just get your shit out of there as soon as it's done. 650 00:26:05,439 --> 00:26:07,816 Hurry up and fold it as soon as you can. 651 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:09,068 Otherwise, the clothes get used to being 652 00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:10,069 in the wrinkled position. 653 00:26:10,152 --> 00:26:11,153 Yeah, but-- 654 00:26:11,237 --> 00:26:12,779 Oh, shit. 655 00:26:12,863 --> 00:26:13,780 What are you doing? 656 00:26:13,864 --> 00:26:14,781 That's Mark. 657 00:26:14,865 --> 00:26:16,325 That's the dude whose wife I slept with. 658 00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:18,785 Oh, I forgot you slept with that married woman. 659 00:26:18,869 --> 00:26:20,454 [laughing] That was hilarious. 660 00:26:20,538 --> 00:26:22,748 Dude, shut up! 661 00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:24,917 Did you really do that or just lie about it to impress me? 662 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,377 Dev, is that you? 663 00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:27,961 Hey, man, I don't want any trouble. 664 00:26:28,045 --> 00:26:30,047 - I'm getting-- - Hey, look, we're cool. 665 00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:32,132 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 666 00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:33,050 Hey, sweetie. 667 00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:34,592 The Gellars said they're good for dinner tonight. 668 00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:36,178 Hey. 669 00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:37,888 Hey. 670 00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:40,140 I-- God, I don't know what to say. 671 00:26:40,224 --> 00:26:41,559 I-- I'm sorry. 672 00:26:41,641 --> 00:26:43,477 I shouldn't have been involved with-- 673 00:26:43,561 --> 00:26:45,896 Actually, that whole thing brought to light 674 00:26:45,979 --> 00:26:47,106 some deeper problems in our marriage 675 00:26:47,189 --> 00:26:49,066 that we never would've addressed had it not been for you. 676 00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:52,652 [Mark] Yeah, I reevaluated my whole life. 677 00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:54,447 I took a lower position at my firm. 678 00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:56,823 We just went to Jamaica together. 679 00:26:56,907 --> 00:26:59,285 It was amazing. 680 00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:01,203 I have more time at home for myself now too. 681 00:27:01,287 --> 00:27:03,456 Did you know I have an interest in woodworking? 682 00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:04,998 I didn't know that. 683 00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:07,585 Now I have a fulfilling hobby. 684 00:27:07,667 --> 00:27:09,669 I made Nina a table last week. 685 00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:12,047 Felt so good. 686 00:27:12,131 --> 00:27:14,467 It's a fantastic table. 687 00:27:15,633 --> 00:27:18,304 Wow. Okay. 688 00:27:18,387 --> 00:27:20,097 So you're not gonna beat me up or anything? 689 00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:22,224 No, no, man. 690 00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:25,269 Look, I mean, what you did was ugly. 691 00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:27,187 And we were being ugly to each other 692 00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:28,230 by cheating on each other. 693 00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:29,398 Yeah. 694 00:27:29,482 --> 00:27:32,985 And I'm not saying cheating's good by any means, 695 00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:37,281 but a marriage... is a beautiful thing 696 00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:40,075 that you make together. 697 00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:42,578 And it has many parts, one of which is monogamy. 698 00:27:42,660 --> 00:27:44,662 But the way we look at it, you don't just 699 00:27:44,746 --> 00:27:47,082 blow up the whole thing 'cause one part is broken. 700 00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:48,959 You try to fix that part. 701 00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,587 Like, if I had messed up one of the legs on the table I made for Nina, 702 00:27:51,669 --> 00:27:53,380 I wouldn't throw out the whole table. 703 00:27:53,464 --> 00:27:54,590 I'd fix the leg. 704 00:27:54,672 --> 00:27:56,091 Right, honey? 705 00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:58,344 Yeah. Look, it's not perfect. 706 00:27:58,427 --> 00:28:02,139 But... it's real. It's life. 707 00:28:02,222 --> 00:28:03,140 Very real. 708 00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:04,975 Yeah. 709 00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:06,852 Wow, well, I'm glad this didn't end 710 00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:09,188 with you murdering me like in those Richard Gere movies. 711 00:28:09,271 --> 00:28:11,273 He's not gonna beat you to death with a snow globe 712 00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:13,859 and then wrap your body up in a rug 713 00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:15,402 and dump you in a landfill. 714 00:28:15,486 --> 00:28:16,529 - Unfaithful, Unfaithful. - Yeah! 715 00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:18,197 It's a great movie. 716 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:19,615 Oh, Gere at his best. 717 00:28:19,697 --> 00:28:21,200 Good movie. 718 00:28:21,283 --> 00:28:23,536 Oh, and hey, I'm sorry I cut in line 719 00:28:23,619 --> 00:28:24,537 at the ice cream place. 720 00:28:24,620 --> 00:28:27,039 I was coked out of my mind. 721 00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:28,165 But I'm sober now. 722 00:28:28,248 --> 00:28:29,542 That's great. 723 00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:30,876 Good. 724 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:32,836 - Well, um, all right. - All right. 725 00:28:32,919 --> 00:28:34,338 - Anyway... bye. - Nice meeting y'all. 726 00:28:34,421 --> 00:28:35,713 I'll see you at work. 727 00:28:39,593 --> 00:28:40,760 What just happened? 728 00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:43,763 [upbeat rock music] 729 00:28:43,847 --> 00:28:50,812 ♪ ♪