1 00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:08,926 [heavy breathing] 2 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,350 [man] Oh, fuck, fuck. 3 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,559 [woman] What happened? 4 00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:18,978 [man] The condom broke. 5 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,813 [woman] Okay. You have an extra one? 6 00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:22,564 Go ahead, put it on. Hurry. 7 00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:24,817 [man] Yeah, I do, but, like, I was all up in there. 8 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,777 Are you on birth control and stuff? 9 00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,946 [woman] No, but you didn't finish, right? 10 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,113 It's fine. 11 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,657 Yeah, but, like, you know, 12 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,325 there's those-- There's those little guys 13 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:34,660 that come out before the big party. 14 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,119 You know? 15 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,621 Should we maybe get a pill to be safe? 16 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,958 Little guys? Do you mean pre-come? 17 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,376 No, no. 18 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,752 You can't get pregnant from pre-come. 19 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,504 I got a buddy, this guy Donald-- 20 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,046 him and his girlfriend were having sex-- same situation. 21 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,590 She got pregnant. 22 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,091 Now they got a kid. His name's Samson. 23 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:51,385 Well, that seems anecdotal. 24 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,386 No, no. I know this guy. 25 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,554 He's a friend of mine. 26 00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:54,638 That's what anecdotal means. 27 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:55,890 You take one example, 28 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,474 and you apply it to everything else. 29 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,727 - Oh, then that's anecdotal. - Yeah. 30 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,603 I was confusing it with urban legend. 31 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:02,813 Anyway, how about this? 32 00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:03,898 I got an idea. 33 00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:05,315 Let's just Google it now, 34 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,567 just for peace of mind. 35 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,902 Okay, peace of mind. Okay. 36 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,070 - Peace of mind. Yeah. - Great. Okay. 37 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:20,330 All right. 38 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,708 Uh... 39 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,209 Okay, right here. 40 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,127 "Pre-come does not contain sperm." 41 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,755 Okay. 42 00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,382 Um, I'm on this other site, 43 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,217 and it says, 44 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,929 "Yes, the pre-ejaculate fluid itself does not contain sperm. 45 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,889 As the pre-ejaculate leaves the body, however, 46 00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:39,182 it may pick up sperm from a previous ejaculation 47 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,268 that remains in the urethra." 48 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,978 So, like, these other guys are just hanging out, 49 00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:44,688 and they just hitch a ride. 50 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,982 Well, but when's the last time you ejaculated? 51 00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:47,983 Mm... 52 00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:49,526 I mean, earlier tonight. 53 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,861 Wait. At the bar? 54 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,153 No, not at the bar, at my house. 55 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,697 Like, here. 56 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,866 Here-- Like, you know, before you go out. 57 00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,743 If you're a dude, you do that so you're not... 58 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,578 - I get it. I get it. - ...super excited when-- 59 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,997 I get it. I get it. Oh, damn it. 60 00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:04,833 The little guys, they might be in me. 61 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,085 I want to get the pill. 62 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,628 All right, um, 63 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:11,048 well, should I call an Uber or something? 64 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,758 - Yeah, yeah. - Okay. 65 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:21,349 Um, there's an UberX that's, like, three minutes away. 66 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,435 There's an UberBLACK that's, like, 15 minutes away. 67 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,937 Should I just UberX? 68 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,396 - Yeah. - Okay. 69 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,689 I just didn't want you to think 70 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,149 I was being stingy with the Ubers. 71 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,901 Okay, that's fine. 72 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,360 All right. 73 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:34,947 So Kingston will be here in three minutes. 74 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,950 [gentle music playing] 75 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,077 ♪ ♪ 76 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,121 Hello, um... 77 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:45,290 me and this young lady were... 78 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:47,918 Yep. 79 00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:49,003 There it is. Thanks. 80 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,879 Um, is that a good brand or... 81 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,464 It's the best and only brand. 82 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,008 Um, yeah, we'll get one of those, 83 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,342 and anything else? 84 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,302 You good on snacks and stuff or... 85 00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:58,595 - I'm fine. - Yeah? 86 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,055 And you want something to drink? 87 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:01,056 Martinelli's? 88 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,599 Martinelli's? 89 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,102 You never had Martinelli's apple juice? 90 00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:06,895 And two Martinelli's as well. 91 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,902 Oh, no, no. Please. I got it. 92 00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,445 My treat. 93 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,699 [hip-hop music playing loudly] 94 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,662 Uh, sir, do you mind turning the radio off? 95 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,204 - [music stops] - Thank you. 96 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:30,085 [sighs] 97 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,468 Okay. 98 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,095 [grunts] 99 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,141 Uh, okay, yeah. 100 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,894 Let's, uh, grab a drink or whatever sometime. 101 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,603 Sure, yeah. 102 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,897 Uh, yeah. It was nice meeting you. 103 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,190 Yeah. 104 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,358 Um, let's keep in touch. 105 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:56,111 - All right, cool. - Okay. 106 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:57,320 [car door clatters, beeps] 107 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,488 - I don't-- - Oh, hold on. 108 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,115 - Okay. - [car door beeping] 109 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,867 - Sorry. - Whoa-- Wha-- I'll get-- 110 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,952 Okay. Is that good? 111 00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,120 There we go. 112 00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:06,538 - Good night. Bye. - Bye. 113 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:07,789 [car door clicks shut] 114 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:11,251 [whimsical acoustic guitar music] 115 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:14,254 [man singing in French] 116 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:20,177 ♪ ♪ 117 00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,621 And then the condom broke. 118 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,206 I hope she was on birth control. 119 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,917 Nope, but luckily, we got one of those Plan B things. 120 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,169 So now two people that barely know each other 121 00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:56,004 won't be raising a human child together. 122 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,757 That's dope. Shout-out to Plan B pills. 123 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,092 Why do they call it Plan B? 124 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,342 I mean, is Plan A having the kid? 125 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,262 That's a terrible plan. 126 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,388 I think Plan A is you don't drop a million of your sperm 127 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,766 into someone you don't know that well. 128 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,977 - You ever had a condom break? - Hell, no. 129 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,895 But to be honest with you guys, 130 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,606 I rarely wear them 'cause they feel weird against my guy. 131 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,150 Plus, I have a pretty low count. 132 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,651 Really? 133 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,527 I spent a lot of time in spas and hot tubs 134 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,363 and I think that high heat melted most of my boys. 135 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,573 Oh. 136 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,075 So, Denise, for lesbians, 137 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:26,785 is there, like, no protection? 138 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,870 You kind of just go to town on the puss? 139 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,122 Basically. 140 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,124 If she's looking good and smelling good, I'm down. 141 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,126 I mean, there's Saran wrap and dental dam, 142 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,502 but don't nobody use that shit. 143 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:36,920 You don't have, like, 144 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,463 a drawer full of dental dams beside your bed? 145 00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,090 I got some coconut oil-- rub her down with that. 146 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,508 Ooh, that sounds nice. 147 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,635 Look, it don't matter what you do. 148 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,220 Nothing's 100% safe. 149 00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,638 Kyle Cooper and his girlfriend 150 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,265 were using condoms and birth control. 151 00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:49,390 Them jokers still had a baby. 152 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,767 Dude, babies are boring, man. 153 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,602 It just doesn't make sense. 154 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,688 I mean, back in the olden days, you'd pop out those bitches, 155 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,523 and they would tend to your farm, 156 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,942 but we're not living that agrarian lifestyle anymore. 157 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,485 They're obsolete. 158 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:01,987 Dev, you want kids? 159 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,404 Part of me is like, "Yeah." 160 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:06,116 It could be an amazing human experience. 161 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,742 True, true. 162 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,453 But then part of me's like, "All right, later tonight, 163 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,413 I want to get some pasta." 164 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:13,999 Now, if I have a kid, I can't go. 165 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,876 I got to scramble to find a sitter or something. 166 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,376 What if I don't find a sitter, huh? 167 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,254 Then what? What, I'm not eating the pasta? 168 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:21,048 That sounds horrible. 169 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,675 That said, I do know some parents who still eat pasta. 170 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,844 Yeah, they're eating their little kids' SpaghettiOs. 171 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,304 They ain't housing that fresh gnocchi. 172 00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:29,223 You know what the move is, though? 173 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,183 You got to get one of those Trinidadian nannies in the mix. 174 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,976 Then you're straight chilling. 175 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,853 You get the nanny to do all the grunt work, 176 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,604 you get all the hugs and kisses. 177 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,815 I will say, you know, Kyle used to be just like us, 178 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,399 hanging out, drinking and stuff, 179 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,277 but he seems happier 180 00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:43,987 now that he's settled down, in a way. 181 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:47,282 No, dude, Kyle's done. 182 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,783 He's not getting any sleep. 183 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,911 That kid's shitting all over his house. 184 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,371 He's not seeing his friends. 185 00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:54,413 He hasn't porked his wife in over a year. 186 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,916 He's over. 187 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,709 Dark take on a good friend's life. 188 00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:00,295 He is having a little birthday party for his kids next weekend. 189 00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:02,421 You guys want to go? Could be fun. 190 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,091 Hard pass. 191 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,634 You really thinking about going to a baby party? 192 00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,095 There's gonna be a bounce house. 193 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,222 [both] Bounce house. 194 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,099 Could you imagine being a kid 195 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,558 and being entertained by this stuff? 196 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:14,809 I mean, come on. Ooh, what's this? 197 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:16,228 [toy frog croaks] 198 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,355 [both laugh] 199 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:21,275 - Let me see that. - No, I'm not done. 200 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,318 Oh, my God, is that one of those pianos 201 00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:24,778 you play with your feet? 202 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,196 I'll be right back. 203 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,532 - [bells jingle] - Cool! 204 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,825 [toy frog croaks] 205 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:32,911 [piano notes playing] 206 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,579 [toy frog croaking] 207 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,164 Dev? 208 00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:37,916 - Hey, Alex. - Hey. 209 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,626 What are you doing here? 210 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,795 I'm just getting some stuff for my baby. 211 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,964 What? You have a baby? 212 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,632 - Yeah. - It's, like, your baby? 213 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:46,716 Yeah. 214 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,385 That's crazy. 215 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,222 Who's the guy that, um-- did the-- The dad... person? 216 00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,932 It's my husband, Dylan, yes. 217 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:56,017 Dylan. 218 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:57,560 Cool. 219 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,604 When did-- When did you guys meet? 220 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,816 About a month after our thing. 221 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,318 Oh, that's cool. 222 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,652 Yeah, he's great. He's a lawyer. 223 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,028 He's from Connecticut. 224 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,780 And we just bought a house in Montauk, 225 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,115 which is really great, 226 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,491 because we both like the outdoors, 227 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:12,659 camping, hiking, all that. 228 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,036 Cool. That's great. 229 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,122 Sounds like a nice white family. 230 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,165 He's black. 231 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,666 Ah. 232 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,542 Well, that's nice, too. 233 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,963 You know, good for you, dating more minorities. 234 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,675 [harsh piano notes playing] 235 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,844 ♪ ♪ 236 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,429 Dev. 237 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,264 Did you hear me banging out that Chopin for you? 238 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,350 Yeah. Hey, Arnold, this is Alex. 239 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,558 Alex, this is Arnold. 240 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,353 - Hi. - DiGiorno. 241 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,562 Uh, Alex is here buying some gifts for her baby. 242 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,357 Oh, really? What's the name of that cutie? 243 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,899 Lucien. 244 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,985 Lucien? 245 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,445 You named your baby Lucien? 246 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,946 I did. Yes. 247 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,240 That's my lizard's name. 248 00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,742 What a small world. 249 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:56,286 He passed away recently. 250 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,205 He was run over by an ice cream truck. 251 00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,873 Sad story. 252 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,292 Wow, that's-- I'm sorry. That's terrible. 253 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,252 - Thank you. - Um... 254 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:07,381 So what brings you in here? Do you have a kid? 255 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,924 No, um, we're going to a friend's baby party, 256 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,468 so we're just grabbing a gift. 257 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,593 Bounce house. 258 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,346 Oh, cool. Okay. 259 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:16,890 Well, it was really good to see you guys. 260 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:20,394 And sorry about your lizard. 261 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:21,853 - 'Preesh. - Bye. 262 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:24,481 Bye. 263 00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:27,484 [toy dinosaur roaring] 264 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:42,749 [upbeat hip-hop music playing] 265 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,792 ♪ ♪ 266 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,669 I can't believe Alex has a kid now. 267 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,588 I've had sex with that person. 268 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,590 And now a baby's come out of that same vagina. 269 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:52,509 Yeah, it's crazy to think that that baby 270 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,554 has been in the same spot as my little bud's hardware. 271 00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,180 - It's crazy, bro. - [Kyle] Welcome, guys. 272 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,348 - Hey. - Hey. 273 00:09:58,432 --> 00:09:59,599 Hi. Thanks for coming. 274 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,601 What's up, birthday boy? 275 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,644 Wow, are all those presents for Zach? 276 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,981 Man, my last birthday, all I got was a wine opener from Arnold. 277 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:08,442 I've been meaning to talk to you about that. 278 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,068 I borrowed it, and I broke it 279 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,694 on this big beautiful bottle of Chablis. 280 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,572 - I'm sorry. - [laughs] 281 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,574 My dude's one, he's already got more friends than you. 282 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:16,866 Yeah, you got to step up your game, man. 283 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:17,867 [chuckles] 284 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:18,952 Oh, hey, Hilary. 285 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,328 Hey, we'll talk soon, okay? 286 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,413 All right. Good to see you guys. 287 00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,748 Thanks for having us. 288 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,875 You're that guy from the Go-Gurt commercial, right? 289 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:26,960 Uh, yeah. 290 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,545 I knew it! 291 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,837 Yo, so you do a spot like that, 292 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,298 you get a hookup on Go-Gurt, right? 293 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:32,882 Uh, not really. 294 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,675 Dude, you got to talk to your agent about that. 295 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:38,221 My boy did a Combos spot-- Combos for life. 296 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,473 Wow. Cool. 297 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:42,350 Yeah, but he changed, man. 298 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,812 All right, y'all have a good one. 299 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,272 See you. 300 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,523 They're still airing that spot? 301 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:49,941 Yeah, dude. 302 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,025 It's covered my rent for years now. 303 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,569 Dude, that's some easy money. 304 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,737 "Hey, when you're on the go, grab a Go-Gurt." 305 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:55,947 I could have done that. 306 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,407 No, no, no. It's like this. 307 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,326 "If you're on the go, grab a Go-Gurt." 308 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,077 Damn, that's pretty good. 309 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,580 It's actually making me crave a 'Gurt right now. 310 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,332 Listen, that bounce house is calling my name. 311 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,500 I'll see you later, dude. 312 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,209 Excuse me. 313 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:09,419 Excuse me! 314 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,588 Coming through, excuse me! 315 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,591 [kids giggling] 316 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,803 Yeah! Yeah! 317 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,475 Dude, you're a dad now. 318 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:24,809 That's crazy. 319 00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:25,893 How's fatherhood? 320 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,562 Oh, it's great. 321 00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:29,648 I feel like I'm part of something bigger now, you know? 322 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,066 Like I've got this deeper sense of purpose. 323 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,610 Mm-hmm. 324 00:11:33,692 --> 00:11:36,196 But it's got to be so much work, right? 325 00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:38,573 I mean, don't you miss going out and all that stuff? 326 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:40,200 Uh... 327 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,119 Okay, so the other night, 328 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,872 Zach starts crying at 4:00 a.m. 329 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,081 I'm so tired. 330 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,375 I'm pissed. 331 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,626 But I get up. 332 00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:51,211 I go over, I turn the light on, 333 00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:52,753 pick him up... 334 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,090 and at one point, 335 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,635 he looks up at me, and he just smiles 336 00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,303 and starts laughing at me. 337 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,721 And then we both just start laughing. 338 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:06,017 I'm laughing with this person I created, 339 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,144 right, with my kid, 340 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,146 this person I'm gonna watch grow up 341 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,524 and do great things one day-- hopefully. 342 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,275 I don't know, man. 343 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,528 I just can't think of one night of partying or drinking 344 00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:20,156 that made me feel even one millionth of that feeling. 345 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,533 Fuck. 346 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,243 Highlight of my year was when I crashed 347 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:26,371 Zachary Quinto's Halloween party. 348 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,914 [dreamy orchestral music] 349 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:33,086 ♪ ♪ 350 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:46,391 Remember, your education is the key to a prosperous future. 351 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:49,269 I'm really proud of both of you. 352 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:52,021 Good day, milady. Fancy a cocktail this evening? 353 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,147 Get away from me. 354 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,733 I don't have any spare change. 355 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:56,234 No, no. I'm not homeless. 356 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,444 I'm just an older single man 357 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,028 that's never settled down. 358 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:04,409 ♪ ♪ 359 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:09,038 Hey. I just talked to Kyle. 360 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,457 You could not have been more wrong. 361 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:11,958 He seems so happy. 362 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,792 I can't talk right now, man. 363 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,503 You're distracting me from my bounce. 364 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,046 Excuse me, sir! 365 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,006 Can you please get out of the bounce house? 366 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,134 You just bounced out my son Tristan. 367 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,719 With all due respect, ma'am, 368 00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:24,178 your son's 20 pounds 369 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:26,640 and he encroached on my bounce space. 370 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,434 That's not on me. That's on Tristan. 371 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,851 Ah! 372 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,649 Hey, Amanda. What's up? 373 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,233 Hey, Dev. Hi. 374 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,777 Hey, what's up, guys? 375 00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:40,487 Lila, what's going on? How are you? 376 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,029 I heard you got married recently. 377 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:43,239 How come I didn't get invited to the wedding? 378 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,074 I didn't get married. 379 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,118 That's not what I heard. I heard you have a husband. 380 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,120 It was a small ceremony, just family and friends. 381 00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:50,246 Fine, whatever. I get it. 382 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,624 I'm not married! 383 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:53,832 Okay, well, I guess I'll just keep 384 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,335 that blender for myself, then. 385 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,003 Grant, what's up, man? 386 00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,045 Farts! 387 00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,213 [laughs] 388 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,465 All right, well, that's cool. 389 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:01,882 Um, you want to arm wrestle? 390 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:02,925 - Sure. - All right. 391 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,385 - Oh, God. - [laughs] 392 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,053 - Oh, my arm! - [laughing] 393 00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,555 - Ohh! - [laughing] 394 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,307 You're so weak! 395 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,476 All right, you guys. Why don't you get some snacks? 396 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:12,686 - Yeah. - Ooh, look at the spread. 397 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:13,936 That's crazy. 398 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,896 Grant is, like, a little dude now. 399 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,608 Yeah, he is, but he can still be a real dick sometimes. 400 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,652 Come on. He's always nice to me. 401 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,320 That's 'cause you see him for, like, five minutes a month. 402 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:23,446 If you saw him all the time, 403 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,532 he would, like, take a shit in your shoe or something. 404 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,907 - What? - Yeah. 405 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,535 Grant took a shit in my shoe last week. 406 00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:29,786 It's his new thing. He calls it "poop shoes." 407 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,412 I wasn't on board initially, 408 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,122 but "poop shoes," that's just good branding. 409 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,999 Yeah, right now, James is out of town. 410 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,668 I got them solo. Ugh. 411 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,294 It is a real bear. 412 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,879 Hey, do you want to come by for dinner? 413 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,005 Nathan's coming over. 414 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,841 He's gonna bring some sandwiches from Parm. 415 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,133 I'm into that, yeah, for sure. 416 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,134 - All right, cool. - Hey, Grant. 417 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,427 You want some cake? 418 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,637 - Sure! - Ooh, cake. 419 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,722 There you go. 420 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,557 Say thank-- Grant! 421 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,100 - [laughs] - Good arm. 422 00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:55,770 What else has been going on with you, man? 423 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:57,188 Not much. 424 00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,315 Ooh, did you see that new Denzel Washington movie yet? 425 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,900 Nope. 426 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,443 You know what I have seen? The Kentucky Penguin. 427 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:03,444 What's that about? 428 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:04,779 What is it about? 429 00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,447 It's an animated kids' movie. 430 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:09,075 It's, like, bright garbage for an hour and a half. 431 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,618 [cell phone beeps] 432 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:11,994 Oh, damn it. I forgot. 433 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,246 I am supposed to go to a meeting. 434 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,706 I'm gonna have to cancel 435 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,165 or-- I don't know-- take these guys with me. 436 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,333 Oh, hey, why don't I watch them 437 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,959 while you go to the meeting 438 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,336 and we'll just meet up later at your place? 439 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,171 Are you sure that you can watch them? 440 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,173 Yeah, I'll just take them to the park or something. 441 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,592 Hey, don't you guys want to hang out 442 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,176 with me for a little bit instead of your mom? 443 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,428 - Yeah! - Yeah! You're awesome! 444 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,929 Oh, all right. You win. 445 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,972 So you guys hang with Uncle Dev for a while, 446 00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:33,057 and then I'll see you later. 447 00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,058 Okay? Yeah. 448 00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:35,476 All right, cool. 449 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,311 I'll text you if anything comes up. 450 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,105 Okay, just text if one goes missing or there's blood-- 451 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,106 Like, a lot of blood. 452 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:41,482 - Got it. Cool. - Okay. 453 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:42,942 - Bye, Mommy! - All right, behave. 454 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,819 All right, who wants to go play in the park 455 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:45,986 for a little bit? 456 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,530 [both] Yeah! 457 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,115 - You're the man! - Yeah, you're the man! 458 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,242 Oh, thanks. Cool. All right, let's go. 459 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:54,245 [playful music] 460 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,538 ♪ ♪ 461 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,539 Wait for me! 462 00:15:56,623 --> 00:16:00,794 ♪ ♪ 463 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:04,631 [man singing in French] 464 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,006 Awesome! 465 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,301 ♪ ♪ 466 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,052 We're gonna get you, Dev! 467 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,721 - Yeah! - Aah! 468 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:17,184 ♪ ♪ 469 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:18,185 I did it! 470 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,103 All right, guys. 471 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,105 It looks like it's gonna start raining again. 472 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,649 We can go back to the apartment, 473 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,984 or we can get some ice cream. 474 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,235 [both] Yeah! 475 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,862 Awesome. 476 00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:29,823 I heard about this new place-- This gelato spot. 477 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,574 It's supposed to be really good. You want to go there? 478 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,701 - 16 Handles! - 16 Handles? Frozen yogurt? 479 00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:35,536 No, that's ice cream for losers. Let's go to my spot. 480 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:36,537 It's supposed to be the creamiest. 481 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,372 [both] No! 482 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,583 All right, fine. We'll go there. Let's go. 483 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,755 Black lady! Chinese man! 484 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:49,383 Hey, hey, hey, don't yell out people's ethnicities. 485 00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,594 Sorry. 486 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,180 All right, frozen yogurt. We made it. 487 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,724 - What flavor do you want? - What do they have? 488 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,351 They're all written up there on the board. 489 00:16:58,434 --> 00:16:59,853 I can't read. 490 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,228 Ooh, I didn't think about that. 491 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:02,897 Well, how about I read them off? 492 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,482 When you hear what you want, you stop me, okay? 493 00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,859 Okay. 494 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:09,028 They have vanilla, chocolate, 495 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,905 strawberry, cookies and cream, 496 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,866 bubble gum, butter pecan, 497 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,283 mint chocolate chip, 498 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,995 rainbow sherbet... 499 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:17,996 Nothing? 500 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,498 Chocolate chip, coffee, 501 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,625 peanut butter cup, 502 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,626 strawberry cheesecake. 503 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:24,836 That's it. 504 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,671 - I want vanilla. - Yeah, me, too. 505 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,422 That was the first one. Why didn't you stop me? 506 00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:29,883 I like vanilla. 507 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:30,842 Fine. You guys get vanilla. 508 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:32,593 I'm gonna try the strawberry cheesecake. 509 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:33,803 No, you have to get vanilla. 510 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:34,804 We all get vanilla. 511 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,055 Vanilla. 512 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,348 But I want to try the cheesecake. 513 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,183 [both] No! Vanilla! 514 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:41,978 Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla! 515 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,814 Another reason I want to be a spy is, 516 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,482 I'll get a laser gun. 517 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,108 [makes pinging and whooshing noises] 518 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,402 Whoa. 519 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,529 Dev, I have to use the bathroom. 520 00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,280 All right, well, can we go at your house? 521 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:54,532 We're almost there. 522 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,116 Now! 523 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,785 All right. 524 00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:58,786 Come on. 525 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,121 All right, that's you. 526 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,206 Go for it. 527 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:03,666 No, I want you to come. 528 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,334 In the bathroom? No, I can't do that. 529 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,920 That's frowned upon in the adult world. 530 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,046 But I want you to come. 531 00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:10,048 I can't go in there by myself. 532 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,883 I'll be right here. It'll be fine. 533 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,927 But it's scary when the door closes. 534 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,762 I get scared. 535 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:19,933 All right, let me see if one of these ladies will go, okay? 536 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,685 Um, excuse me, madam, 537 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,479 would you mind accompanying this young lady I'm babysitting 538 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:26,564 into the bathroom? 539 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,815 She's a little scared. 540 00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:28,983 Why didn't you ask me? 541 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,402 Am I not enough of a madam? 542 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,446 Uh, no, I just thought she looked like 543 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,114 more of a mom-type person. 544 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,657 Oh, so you think I'm old? 545 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,034 Aw, come on. I didn't say old. 546 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,285 I said mom-type. 547 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:40,620 I didn't mean anything by that. 548 00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,830 I mean, come on. Just-- Do you mind? 549 00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:44,749 It would really-- I just don't want-- 550 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:47,167 I need to go now. 551 00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:48,544 [sighs] 552 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,838 All right, well, guess I'm doing this. 553 00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:52,048 Thanks. 554 00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,136 You know, 555 00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,346 I understand why you're not helping me. 556 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,015 But I just want you to know in my heart, 557 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,893 I meant no offense to either of you. 558 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,227 Please watch Grant. 559 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,607 So... 560 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,275 what exactly do you need me to do here? 561 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:13,527 Just keep me company. 562 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:14,779 So don't clean up or anything? 563 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:15,780 No. 564 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:16,781 I'm a big girl. 565 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,407 Great. I got that. 566 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:19,951 All right, so I'll just stand in the corner, 567 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,160 and you do your thing, okay? 568 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,453 Mm-hmm. 569 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:23,788 And, you know, don't tell anyone 570 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:24,789 I took you to the bathroom. 571 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,124 It's a little weird. 572 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,250 - I know it's weird. - All right. 573 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,710 Go for it. 574 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,797 Uh, you know, I'm gonna make a noise 575 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,256 so I don't hear what's happening, all right? 576 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,134 - Okay. - Don't get scared, okay? 577 00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:39,595 - All right. I'm not scared. - [makes buzzing noise] 578 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:50,272 [toilet flushes] 579 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,317 - Done? - Yeah. 580 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,277 Cool. Wash your hands. 581 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,612 Let's get the fuck out of here. 582 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,823 - Yeah! - I hate melons! 583 00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:00,825 [both screaming] 584 00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,493 Guys, we're two minutes from your house. 585 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:03,703 Do you really need to do this? 586 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,412 - Yes, let's go! - Yeah, fun! 587 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:08,666 [both yelling] 588 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,084 Ah, shit, okay. 589 00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:11,544 We got to go get some beer for your mom. 590 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,796 Come on, let's go. 591 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,132 Hmm, summer ale. 592 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,925 Hey, where's Grant? 593 00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:18,968 I don't know. 594 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,553 Grant? 595 00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:21,679 Grant. 596 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,097 Grant! 597 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,098 Hey, Grant! 598 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,349 Where are you? 599 00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:26,976 Excuse me. Is he with you, sir? 600 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,353 Uh, yeah, he's my friend's kid. 601 00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:30,354 Everything okay? 602 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,065 He's taking his penis 603 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,774 and rubbing it on all the packages of frozen waffles. 604 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,275 Wha-- Grant! 605 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:36,777 You can't do that! Why are you doing that? 606 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,112 It's cold, and when I put 607 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:39,906 my wiener against it, it feels good. 608 00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:41,782 [sighs] 609 00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:43,492 I'm gonna need you to pay for the waffles, sir. 610 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,244 All right, fine. Just give it to me. I'll buy it. 611 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,495 No, I'm gonna need you to pay for all 30 packages 612 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,663 in the display case. 613 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:48,748 30 packages? Come on, man. 614 00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,332 He was gone for a minute. 615 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,918 He didn't put his thing on all those packages. 616 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:53,252 We can't sell waffles that have made contact 617 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,837 with a young boy's genitals. 618 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,463 Just pay for the waffles. 619 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,507 All right, fine. I'll pay for it. 620 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,593 I can pay for it. I have a wallet. 621 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:01,886 Whose wallet is this? 622 00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,054 I took it from the party. 623 00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:04,764 This is Kyle's wallet. 624 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,766 He went to the bathroom with me 625 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,601 and said not to tell anybody. 626 00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:14,356 Goddamn. 627 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,399 Oof. 628 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,070 Hey, man. 629 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:22,823 Sorry, I guess Grant stole your wallet earlier. 630 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:25,618 Oh, thanks. Just put it anywhere. 631 00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,120 All right. 632 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,789 You mind if I use your restroom real quick? 633 00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,665 Yeah, it's upstairs. 634 00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,375 I'll show you. 635 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,377 Thanks. 636 00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:38,505 Hey, you guys, you sit here. 637 00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,967 You don't touch anything. You don't steal anything. 638 00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:43,594 Okay, and Grant, you stay away from the freezer. 639 00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:52,019 Man, I was just watching those guys for, like, an hour, 640 00:21:52,103 --> 00:21:53,146 and I'm destroyed. 641 00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:54,688 You had a kid for a year. 642 00:21:54,772 --> 00:21:56,356 How do you do it? What's your secret? 643 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,026 My secret is, I'm getting a divorce. 644 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,197 What? Are you serious? 645 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:05,241 We've just been dealing with some issues lately. 646 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,910 We tried to figure it out. I don't think it's gonna work. 647 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,620 I thought everything was going really well. 648 00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:11,330 What about all that stuff you said earlier? 649 00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:12,372 Oh, come on, man. 650 00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:13,791 That's bullshit you say at a party. 651 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,417 What am I supposed to say? 652 00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,211 I don't sleep. I haven't fucked in a year. 653 00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:20,214 I never see my friends. I hate my wife. 654 00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:21,966 God. 655 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:26,012 Yeah, I guess that's not really good party... 656 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:28,639 What's the word? 657 00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:30,683 Party... 658 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:31,684 fodder. 659 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,227 Fodder, yeah. 660 00:22:33,311 --> 00:22:34,645 It's tough, man. 661 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,272 We'd only been dating six months. 662 00:22:36,354 --> 00:22:37,773 Brenda got pregnant, 663 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,650 and we really thought we could pull it off. 664 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:40,901 It started off okay, 665 00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:42,736 but then things got a little rocky. 666 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:44,864 It was just too soon. 667 00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:46,364 And then you throw a kid in the mix... 668 00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:47,491 And Zach's awesome. 669 00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:49,118 We couldn't love him any more, 670 00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:52,621 but it just wasn't enough to keep us together. 671 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:53,998 Anyway, here's the bathroom. 672 00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:56,334 - All right. - [sighs] 673 00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:58,878 Man, it smells really nice in there. 674 00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:01,088 You got to hit me with the deets on that candle. 675 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:03,465 Sorry. 676 00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:05,259 It is a great candle. 677 00:23:05,343 --> 00:23:07,094 [dark electronic rock music] 678 00:23:07,178 --> 00:23:11,057 ♪ ♪ 679 00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:19,606 Daddy's home! Daddy's home! 680 00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:20,816 We found the flour! 681 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:22,360 You can't hide it from us! 682 00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:24,695 [screams] 683 00:23:24,778 --> 00:23:28,406 ♪ ♪ 684 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,588 - Put your seat belts on! - [screams] 685 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:45,925 - [kids screaming] - What are you doing? 686 00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:47,176 [laughs] 687 00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:48,468 Cute kids, idiot. 688 00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:49,762 [horn honks] 689 00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:54,058 [Amanda] Guess who's home. 690 00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:55,184 [both] Mommy! 691 00:23:55,268 --> 00:23:56,810 Hey! 692 00:23:56,894 --> 00:23:58,478 Hey, Nathan's coming with the sandwiches. 693 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:00,522 - Oh, great. - Hey, penguin. 694 00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:01,439 How did it go? 695 00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:02,524 Oh, my God. 696 00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:04,193 It felt like ten years. 697 00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:06,279 Anytime I turned around, they were just causing mayhem. 698 00:24:06,362 --> 00:24:07,696 I'm sure you did fine. 699 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,531 I didn't see any blood, so that's good. 700 00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:11,325 Hey, I got sandwiches. 701 00:24:11,409 --> 00:24:12,659 [both] Nathan! 702 00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:13,994 - Hi, how's it going? - Yay. 703 00:24:14,078 --> 00:24:15,453 You guys hungry? 704 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:17,415 Yeah. Here, give me those. 705 00:24:17,497 --> 00:24:18,791 There you go. 706 00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:20,418 - And I'll go get the beer. - Okay. 707 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:21,710 You guys, come with me. 708 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,337 Hey, what's happening? You okay? 709 00:24:23,421 --> 00:24:26,340 I just watched Grant and Lila for a couple hours. 710 00:24:26,424 --> 00:24:27,425 Jesus. 711 00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:28,801 It was so crazy. 712 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:30,052 They're just, like, running around 713 00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,220 and screaming and yelling, 714 00:24:31,304 --> 00:24:32,221 causing a ruckus. 715 00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:33,222 That's rough, man. 716 00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:35,224 That's why I enjoy being the uncle, you know? 717 00:24:35,308 --> 00:24:36,642 Like, 'cause you just show up. 718 00:24:36,725 --> 00:24:38,018 You hug 'em. You kiss 'em. 719 00:24:38,102 --> 00:24:39,645 You play with 'em. You make a mess. 720 00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:41,897 And then when they start getting gross and being dicks, 721 00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:43,899 you're like, "I'm getting the fuck out of here." 722 00:24:43,983 --> 00:24:45,525 - And you do. You leave. - Yeah. 723 00:24:45,609 --> 00:24:48,321 Yeah, I get why you and Kate don't have kids. 724 00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:50,364 Yeah, it can definitely be very nice. 725 00:24:50,448 --> 00:24:52,783 You know, we have a lot of time to ourselves. 726 00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:54,492 Are you guys doing anything fun for the summer? 727 00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:57,163 Yeah, we are going to Italy. 728 00:24:57,246 --> 00:24:58,831 We rented a villa in the Amalfi Coast. 729 00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:00,624 That sounds amazing. 730 00:25:00,707 --> 00:25:03,043 You know what Amanda and James are doing this summer? 731 00:25:03,127 --> 00:25:04,962 They're taking a trip to Costco-- 732 00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:06,672 Yeah, to buy a bunch of grape juice 733 00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:09,716 and diapers or whatever fucking kid shit they have to buy. 734 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,135 I love Costco. 735 00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:13,053 They're nice to me over there. 736 00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:14,805 Like, they act like they know me, 737 00:25:14,888 --> 00:25:17,683 even though, like, thousands of people go in there every day. 738 00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:19,268 You know, they always are like, 739 00:25:19,352 --> 00:25:20,560 "Hey, that's that guy." 740 00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:21,854 - [chuckles] - I'm there a lot. 741 00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:23,314 Hey, guys. Get ready. 742 00:25:23,397 --> 00:25:24,482 These Parm sandwiches are delicious. 743 00:25:24,606 --> 00:25:26,025 Oh, my God. 744 00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:27,860 Thanks so much for grabbing these, Nathan. 745 00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:29,445 Dude, I'm so hungry. 746 00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:32,198 Mommy, we finished our sandwiches. 747 00:25:32,281 --> 00:25:34,408 Oh, you made that for me. 748 00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:36,369 Mm-hmm. 749 00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:38,996 It's our first sandwich ever. We want you to have it. 750 00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:41,332 It has peanut butter and lettuce. 751 00:25:41,415 --> 00:25:42,833 I added the ketchup. 752 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:46,295 Oh, wow. This looks delicious. 753 00:25:46,379 --> 00:25:48,255 You know, the sandwiches look pretty good, 754 00:25:48,339 --> 00:25:52,092 but I think I'm gonna have to go with Grant and Lila's instead. 755 00:25:55,846 --> 00:25:57,139 We made one for Dev, too. 756 00:25:57,223 --> 00:25:59,766 Whoa. You made one for me? 757 00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:01,435 - Yes. - Aw, thanks. 758 00:26:01,519 --> 00:26:03,770 And we drew you a picture to go with it. 759 00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:05,439 Whoa. 760 00:26:05,523 --> 00:26:07,149 Grant, Lila, and Dev. 761 00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:08,775 Aw, it's a little racist, 762 00:26:08,859 --> 00:26:11,028 but thanks. 763 00:26:11,111 --> 00:26:12,279 You're welcome. 764 00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:18,618 [playful music] 765 00:26:18,785 --> 00:26:24,542 ♪ ♪ 766 00:26:24,624 --> 00:26:26,584 I got to be honest. That looks pretty disgusting. 767 00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:28,254 I'm gonna eat this one. I'm sorry. 768 00:26:30,756 --> 00:26:32,841 Mmm. 769 00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:35,719 You guys, that is so good. 770 00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:37,555 It's really good. 771 00:26:37,637 --> 00:26:39,765 Amanda, can I have yours since you're eating their thing? 772 00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:40,766 No, you may not. 773 00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:42,351 Just a little bite? 774 00:26:42,435 --> 00:26:43,436 A little bite. 775 00:26:47,981 --> 00:26:49,024 Mmm! 776 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,526 This one's good, too! 777 00:26:50,608 --> 00:26:53,529 [upbeat R&B music] 778 00:26:53,611 --> 00:26:58,075 ♪ ♪