1 00:00:00,913 --> 00:00:02,089 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,284 [GUNSHOTS] 3 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,201 It's me, Yosemite Sam, 4 00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:29,594 the greatest train robber that ever lived. 5 00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:32,641 And I'm here to rob this fancy new train. 6 00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:35,470 All righty, sir. Have you got a ticket? 7 00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,472 Get that dust out of your ears, old timer. 8 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:39,343 Did you hear me say who I am? 9 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:42,085 I ain't ridin' this train, I'm robbin' it. 10 00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:45,349 Oh, not this train, fella. This here is a bullet train. 11 00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:47,177 Too fast to rob. 12 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,571 There ain't a train that been invented that I can't rob. 13 00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:50,789 What time's it a-comin'? 14 00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:51,877 Noon. 15 00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:55,664 -High noon, perfect. -[TRAIN BEEPS] 16 00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:04,020 -So, where is it? -It just went by. 17 00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:05,369 "Just went by"? 18 00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:08,372 I didn't see nothing. [GROANS] 19 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,766 -That's the 12:01. -[GROANS] 20 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:15,336 [BLUBBERING] 12:01? What time's the next one? 21 00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:16,380 -[TRAIN BEEPS] -Ugh! 22 00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:19,557 That's the 12:02. 23 00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,385 -[TRAIN BEEPS] -[GROANS] 24 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,781 -That's the 12:03. -Ugh... 25 00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:26,912 [BLUBBERING] 26 00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:28,958 Are there any more? 27 00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,916 -Nope. -Phew! 28 00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:32,918 -[GROANS] -[TRAIN BEEPS] 29 00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:35,878 Until the 12:04. 30 00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:41,536 If you wanna go as fast as a bullet train, 31 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:43,233 you gotta be a bullet. 32 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,453 [TRAIN BEEPS] 33 00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:48,934 There she blows! Yee... 34 00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:50,066 [LOUD BANG] 35 00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,676 ...haw. 36 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,591 [GRUNTS AND GROANS] 37 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,552 Why are folks still advertising 38 00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,684 on billy-boards when you got the Internet? 39 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:02,122 -Gall darn it! -[TRAIN BEEPS] 40 00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:06,952 [MUMBLING] 41 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,218 This time everything's gonna go... 42 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,263 [GROANS] 43 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,396 Consarn it! [GRUNTS] 44 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,745 Hmm, no good helmet! 45 00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,094 [TRAIN BEEPS] 46 00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:23,621 Razzle-frazzle, brick building, no-good... 47 00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:24,709 [CHUCKLES] 48 00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:25,841 [GROANS] 49 00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:30,454 Oh, you, consarn it! 50 00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,587 -[SCREAMS] -[TRAIN BEEPS] 51 00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:36,243 Whoa! [GROANS] 52 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:37,592 Huh-uh. 53 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,072 It's not too late. It's coming back. 54 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,988 Just gotta point the cannon in the other direction. 55 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:45,861 Whoa! [GROANING] 56 00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,865 You sure you don't wanna just buy a ticket? 57 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,301 [GROANS] 58 00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,740 [LAUGHS] 59 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:58,047 If I can't get onboard this here train, 60 00:02:58,134 --> 00:02:59,962 I'll blow it to smithereens. 61 00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,442 -[TRAIN HALTS] -[DYNAMITE TICKING] 62 00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:02,747 Huh? 63 00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,706 What the... 64 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:07,012 Oh, you no-good razzle-frazzle... 65 00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:08,449 [GROANS] 66 00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:09,754 -[MUTTERS] -[DYNAMITE EXPLODES] 67 00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:11,321 No-good dynamite... 68 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,497 -[DYNAMITE EXPLODES] -[GRUNTS AND GROANS] 69 00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:17,806 [TRAIN BEEPS] 70 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,590 If at first you don't succeed, 71 00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:21,766 try a rocket-powered motorcycle. 72 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,942 [TRAIN BEEPS] 73 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,293 [ENGINE REVVING] 74 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,341 [BUTTON CLICKS] 75 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:37,739 [YOSEMITE SAM LAUGHS] 76 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:43,875 Here she comes now. 77 00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,225 [SNIGGERING] 78 00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:46,269 [TRAIN BEEPS] 79 00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:49,577 The old ball and train gag. 80 00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:50,926 [GROANS] 81 00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:54,625 I did not see that... Come on, now! 82 00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:56,975 [GROANS] 83 00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:59,674 I know what I'll do. I'll jump on top of the train. 84 00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,764 This will require impeccable timing. 85 00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,635 One... two... 86 00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,420 No! [GROANS] 87 00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,552 No, no, no, no! Ow! 88 00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:09,858 [GROANING] 89 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,163 [TRAIN BEEPS] 90 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,297 [GROANING] 91 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,604 Ow, my biscuits! 92 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:19,607 [SIGHS] Okay, that was a tad early. 93 00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:22,305 This time, I'll get it just right. 94 00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:23,567 -Hu-ha! -[TRAIN BEEPS] 95 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:26,135 Yosemite Sam has done it... Ugh! 96 00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:29,530 [GROGGILY] Tunnel. 97 00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:30,574 [THUD] 98 00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,317 [GROANS] 99 00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:35,362 [TRAIN BEEPS] 100 00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:39,366 What is happening? 101 00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:40,845 -[TRAIN BEEPS] -[GROANS] 102 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,547 Come on, come on! 103 00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,983 [TRAIN BEEPS] 104 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,593 [GRUNTS AND GROANS] 105 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,425 [GROANS] Ooh! 106 00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:02,737 All right, I'll buy my ticket. 107 00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:07,002 And then, I'mma rob it from the inside. 108 00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,960 Can you break a 100? 109 00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:10,919 Nope. 110 00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:14,618 Razzle-frazzle! Lousy transportation industry! 111 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:19,928 [YOSEMITE SAM COUGHS] 112 00:05:20,015 --> 00:05:22,322 -BUGS: Ticket, please? -Here. 113 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,759 Thank you very much, Doc. 114 00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,064 [BLUBBERING] You? 115 00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,110 You're the one driving this train? 116 00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:30,286 That's right, Doc. Next time you wanna rob me, 117 00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,549 I would train first. 118 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,986 Now, let me just stash your belongings. 119 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,423 -[TRAIN BEEPS] -[SCREAMS] 120 00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:42,211 [TELEPHONE RINGING] 121 00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,345 [STAMMERS] Thanks for calling. 122 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:48,130 Porky Pig speaking. How can I help you? 123 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,827 Oh, I'm extremely sorry. 124 00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:51,394 We don't have any openings until after the... 125 00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,048 [STAMMERS] ...the 21st. 126 00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:54,528 Yes, that's century. 127 00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,486 MAN: Hey, Porky the Pig! 128 00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:57,705 Yes, I'm coming! 129 00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,228 [PANTING] 130 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,406 -Yes, sir. -The menu is done. 131 00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,103 Everything is perfecto! 132 00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:07,279 The restaurant, she opens in 30 minutes. 133 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,630 So I'm gonna go foraging for mushrooms. 134 00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,675 Keep your eyes peeled for deliveries. 135 00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:14,025 And don't mess up the place, huh? 136 00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,549 I'm just kidding you. 137 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,855 I know you're a good little piggy. 138 00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:20,684 [MENACINGLY] Aren't you, Piggy? 139 00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:22,512 Aren't you? 140 00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,341 All right now, Porky. 141 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,865 No need to be nerv... [STAMMERING] 142 00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,346 Just calm down. 143 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:33,088 -[KNOCK ON DOOR] -[SQUEALS] 144 00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:36,831 VOICE FROM BOX: Help! Help! Let me out! [WHIMPERS] 145 00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,789 Gee, now that's fresh. 146 00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:40,661 Thanks, pal. 147 00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,097 I almost suffocated in there. 148 00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:45,056 Oh, dear. We couldn't have you suffocate 149 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,232 before we have you for dinner. 150 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:50,279 Now, that is what I'm talking about, dinner! 151 00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:51,846 Set me up, bub! 152 00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,500 I'm starving. 153 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:57,112 Oh, you're not having dinner. You are dinner, see? 154 00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,244 But, they told me I was heading 155 00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:00,942 to a relaxing spa weekend 156 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:05,120 at an animal sanctuary because I'm so special. 157 00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,687 [STAMMERING] No, no, no. 158 00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:09,733 Animal Sanctuary is the name of the restaurant. 159 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:12,997 -And you're the special. -So that's how it is? 160 00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:16,392 I gotta say, that idea is all wet! 161 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,263 [CHEERS MANICALLY] 162 00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:19,874 [STAMMERS] Come back! 163 00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:22,050 You're the main course. 164 00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:25,053 -Well, I say, "Nuts to that!" -[CHOKING] 165 00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:28,404 How's about a little fiber in your diet? Whoo-hoo! 166 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:29,927 [EXCLAIMING] 167 00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:34,671 Greetings. Welcome to Animal Sanctuary. 168 00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,978 Hey! That podium is not a toy. 169 00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:40,764 -[STAMMERS] Get your own, Duck. -This one's mine. 170 00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:44,594 -[PANTS] All right, now see here. -Honk, honk. 171 00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:47,118 [GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION] Just gimme that! 172 00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:50,121 Who's the pig I gotta grease to get a table around here? 173 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,254 [STAMMERS] Oh, I'm sorry, sir. 174 00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,385 I'll seat you immediate... 175 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,127 [STAMMERING] ...promptly. 176 00:07:58,347 --> 00:07:59,783 [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] I've been here 15 minutes, 177 00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,785 and I have yet to receive a menu. 178 00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:04,614 Oh... [STAMMERS] Sorry, ma'am. 179 00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:07,225 Thank you. 180 00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:10,359 Garcon! There are flies in my soup 181 00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,013 My apologies, sir. I... 182 00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:15,103 I ordered crickets, and I didn't even order soup! 183 00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:18,672 Listen here, buckaroo! If you can't fill me up soon, 184 00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,761 I'm gonna fill you up with lead. 185 00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:21,849 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] 186 00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:24,155 [STAMMERS] In a moment, sir. 187 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:27,028 [ALL SPEAKING TOGETHER] 188 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,728 -Hey there, chuckles! -Huh. 189 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,643 You look like a man who eats alone. 190 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,516 I've got the perfect spot for you. 191 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,866 Here we are. Table for one. 192 00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:42,173 And I assume you won't be needing this chair... 193 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,872 -or this table. -[GRUNTS AND GROANS] 194 00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,441 -[SHRIEKS] Ow! -Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! 195 00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,445 Welcome to the john, ham. 196 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,535 Would you care for some talcum powder? 197 00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:56,971 [INHALES SHARPLY] 198 00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:59,930 -[COUGHS AND GRUNTS] -Maybe some cologne. 199 00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,672 Perhaps a mint. 200 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:07,547 [SCREAMS] Stop! You're not the... 201 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,288 [STAMMERS] You're not the bathroom attendant. 202 00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:13,509 You're the duck we're serving for dinner. 203 00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:17,557 Tsk-tsk-tsk. 204 00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:20,647 I have worked here for eight years 205 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,910 and you don't even know me? 206 00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:27,088 I guess to you, all us ducks look the same. 207 00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:31,222 -Then, where did he go? -I'd try door number one. 208 00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:33,137 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Privacy, please! 209 00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,662 [STAMMERS] There's no time for privacy. 210 00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:37,098 Where is the rest of him? 211 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,449 Well, now I'm just puzzled. 212 00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:45,106 -You look a little flushed. -Ah... 213 00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:47,935 [EXCLAIMS] It really was me. 214 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:49,589 [EXCLAIMS] 215 00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:56,596 All right, you! Time to get in the pan! 216 00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,729 No, it's time for you to get in the pan. 217 00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,557 [EXCLAIMING] 218 00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,864 Okay, folks. There's 50 ways to cook a pig. 219 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:06,562 You can bake it, broil it, grill it, braise it, pickle it, tickle it... 220 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,085 Do as you please with it. 221 00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:11,567 My restaurant, it's trashed! 222 00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:14,744 Porky, you're fired! 223 00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:18,095 [STAMMERS] Fired? 224 00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:22,491 [SOBBING] 225 00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:26,277 Wait, you're the one who wants to make me for dinner? 226 00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:29,280 But, of course, it's called Animal Sanctuary. 227 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:32,849 It's a nice, quiet place you can come and eat animals. 228 00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:35,112 But now it is ruined! 229 00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:38,159 Brother, you are one hot-blooded chef. 230 00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,814 You need to chill out. 231 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:42,859 Whoo-hoo! 232 00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:45,775 Now, that's what I call Italian ice. 233 00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,864 Whoo-hoo! 234 00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:49,257 What are we gonna do now? 235 00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,345 What do you say we open up 236 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,825 a vegetarian joint together? 237 00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:55,306 [STAMMERS] You got a... Shake on it. 238 00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,569 Well, I guess, that's all, folks. 239 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,660 -Hey, that's my line... -Shh.