1
00:00:00,913 --> 00:00:02,480
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

2
00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:25,416
Okay, okay, just a few
more jokes before
I best be heading out.

3
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,810
"Beheading"?
I'm not talking to you, pal.

4
00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:30,204
This guy takes his job
super seriously.

5
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:32,728
You mess with him,
heads will roll.

6
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:35,557
-[YELPS]
-Delight, ye folk,
one and all!

7
00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:40,823
It is I, Sir Littlechin,
triumphantly returning
from another epic contest,

8
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:44,870
-after 12 fortnights.
-"Fortnights"?
English, please!

9
00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:47,090
[CROWD LAUGHS]

10
00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:49,005
Ooh, a fortnight
is two weeks.

11
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,138
"Two weeks"!
My goodness.

12
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,749
What's twelve times four,
plus the square root
of Pi, that's...

13
00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:56,621
That's almost six months!
Took you long enough.

14
00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:59,320
[CROWD LAUGHING]

15
00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:02,540
Ahem! Do you mind?

16
00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:05,630
Please. Regale us about
this epic contest.

17
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:09,199
Well! There I was,
at the mouth of the cave...

18
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:11,854
Cut to the chase!
Were you successful?

19
00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:14,596
[GROANS] If you weren't
such a fool, you'd know

20
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:19,427
-I am always successful
in any contest.
-Any contest?

21
00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:21,603
What about Miss Idaho, 2016?

22
00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,039
[CROWD LAUGHING]

23
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:29,001
Enough! Dirk and I
don't find you amusing.

24
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,525
"Dirk"? Who's Dirk?

25
00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:32,788
My sword.

26
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:35,878
You named your sword?

27
00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:41,231
Yes. Dirk is my best friend,
he's always at my side.
[SMOOCHING]

28
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:44,539
[LAUGHING] Okay.
You think that's weird?

29
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:47,150
When you ask him
about his horse, he says
"It's complicated."

30
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,021
[CROWD LAUGHING]

31
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:52,416
So let me guess, these must be
the twins, Maxwell and Tybalt.

32
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:56,420
And Aunt Rose.
I haven't see you since
the gauntlet run. [KISSES]

33
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,120
-[CROWD LAUGHING]
-[SIR LITTLECHIN GROWLING]

34
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,383
Well that's my time,
you've all been
a wonderful crowd.

35
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:06,604
I'll be back for my second set
in one one-hundredths
of a fortnight.

36
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:09,825
-Uh-huh, right.
Uh-huh. No way!
-[INDISTINCT TALKING ON PHONE]

37
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:13,742
Of course!
I was killing 'em out there,
Jackie, killing 'em! Phew.

38
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:16,875
Okay, you got it Jackie,
talk to you soon.

39
00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:21,315
Can I help you, buster?

40
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:24,579
You mocked me, jester!

41
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:28,887
I am the greatest
swordsman in all the land,
and I will not be mocked!

42
00:02:28,974 --> 00:02:31,194
Don't you mean, you and Dirk
will not be mocked?

43
00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:32,935
[GROANS]

44
00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:35,242
That's it!
I challenge you to a...

45
00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:36,939
Hey, wait a minute!

46
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:38,506
-A duel?
-Yes, but you
didn't let me finish.

47
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,638
Oh, by all means, continue.

48
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,771
Thank you. As I was saying,
I challenge you to a...

49
00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:44,120
A duel?

50
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:45,687
-Stop that!
-Stop what?

51
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:46,818
You're hitting me
just before I say the word...

52
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,473
-A duel?
-[GROANS]

53
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:54,957
Let me explain how
this works. In order to
challenge you to a... [GASPS]

54
00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:56,524
[STAMMERING] To a, uh...

55
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,920
...a confrontation...

56
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:05,097
I need to take off my glove
and slap you in the face.

57
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,490
-Like this?
-[YELPS]

58
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:07,709
I challenge you to...

59
00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,580
-A duel!
-Ah! Oh! Ugh! Argh!

60
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:13,323
-Like that?
-Yes. Exactly.
Now give me that glove...

61
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,586
[SCREAMS] Come on, that time
I didn't even say...

62
00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,806
-[GRUNTS]
-A duel?

63
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:21,549
Look! If you won't hand me
the glove, how can I
challenge you to a...

64
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,552
To a... [GROANS]

65
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,336
Say it.

66
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,296
To a duel.

67
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,994
Listen bub,
you don't need a glove
to challenge me,

68
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,344
you can use a bass!

69
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:37,086
-How about a barbecue?
-[GROANS]

70
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,654
-Or a bazooka?
-[SCREAMS]

71
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:41,003
So, you wanna duel?

72
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:47,183
Dirk and I accept.

73
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:50,926
[GROANS] Tonight
we dine on duck.

74
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,102
Tally-ho!

75
00:03:53,189 --> 00:03:57,019
Hold it right there.
Wouldst thou allow me
a moment, good knight,

76
00:03:57,106 --> 00:04:00,022
to don
the satisfactory regalia?

77
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:02,372
Of course,
of course, your armor.

78
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:07,029
'Tis a knight's code to never
engage the enemy
when they are ill-prepared.

79
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:10,206
'-Just let me know
when you're ready.
-[CLOTHES RUSTLING]

80
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:12,991
Okay. How do I look?

81
00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:15,559
[CHUCKLING] Why,
you look splendid.

82
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:18,562
Well, off to my knight shift.

83
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,695
[EXCLAIMS] Ah!
He gave me the slip.

84
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,262
[GIGGLING]

85
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:26,048
En garde!

86
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,093
[GIGGLING]

87
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,792
[GRUNTING]

88
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,490
Our world-famous
chopped salad.

89
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:36,754
Hope you like fast food!
[GIGGLING]

90
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:39,104
[GAGGING]

91
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,107
[GRUNTS]

92
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:47,025
[GIGGLING]

93
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,073
[YELLS]

94
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:53,728
[SCREAMING]

95
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,514
What what what?
That's my horse!

96
00:04:57,601 --> 00:05:00,125
-[NEIGHS]
-Horse thief.
Give it to me.

97
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:02,824
Oh, I'm gonna
give it to him all right.

98
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:04,434
All you had to do was ask.

99
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:09,309
At last, we finish
this duel on my own turf.

100
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,920
Squires! Bring me my...

101
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:14,531
You leave me
no choice but to...

102
00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:17,447
[GASPS] My Dirk!

103
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:21,625
[MOANING] Yet another
triumphant contest.

104
00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:23,671
-[CRASHES]
-[THUDS]

105
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:27,283
Sometimes Mommy
makes me cinnamon
toast before night-night.

106
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:28,328
[GROANS]

107
00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:31,505
[CROWD LAUGHING]

108
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:33,942
Don't quit your knight job.

109
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:37,902
Dirk, I think this is
the beginning of
a beautiful friendship.

110
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:45,954
Well, well, well,

111
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:49,523
it all comes down
to this final shot.

112
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:52,526
This one's for all the nuts.

113
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:55,442
I guess you could call it,
"all or nuttin'"!

114
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:58,096
[EXCLAIMS]

115
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:01,404
Aww, too bad.

116
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:02,449
[GROANS]

117
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,149
[LAUGHING]

118
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:10,761
Better luck next time.
I'll beat you again,
if you want.

119
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:13,547
But you're all out of nuts,
so why bother?

120
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:14,939
[LAUGHING]

121
00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:18,595
BUGS: Hey.

122
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,597
Why don't you pick on
someone your own size?

123
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:25,733
If you wanna play,
you gotta have something
to play for.

124
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:29,258
-How about this?
-That ain't no good here.

125
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:31,869
I'm talking nuts,
lots of nuts.

126
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:33,436
-[GRUNTS]
-Is that enough?

127
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,047
Yeah. That'll do.

128
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:38,659
All right, Squeaks,
rack 'em up.

129
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:40,661
Brought you own pool cue, huh?

130
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:43,185
Of course. I never
leave home without it.

131
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:46,057
Oops. [CHUCKLES]
Wrong pool. Here we go.

132
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,146
[CHIRPS]

133
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,586
That's better.

134
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,196
-Don't... Miss!
-[YELPS]

135
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:55,893
Huh? Oi...

136
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,418
[LAUGHING]

137
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,332
What the... What?

138
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:07,427
[POOL BALLS KNOCKING]

139
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:11,735
Oops, they all went in
at the beginning,
is that okay?

140
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:15,130
You hustled me!
You ain't leaving
till I beat you.

141
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:17,698
And I'm breaking this time.

142
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:21,049
-Now watch this.
-Call your shot.

143
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,094
You don't call
your shot on a break!

144
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:26,010
Maybe not
for a novice like you,
but for us professionals...

145
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:29,710
Hey, I am a professional!
One in the corner pocket.

146
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:36,412
-Oh, so close.
Now it's my turn.
-[GROWLING]

147
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,327
Eleven-ball
in the corner pocket.

148
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:42,244
Thirteen in the side.

149
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:44,855
Wait a minute.
That ball didn't
go in the side pocket.

150
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:48,163
I didn't specify which one.
Check your side pocket.

151
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,209
What the? Okay...

152
00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:55,387
-This time you
play me blindfolded.
-If you insist.

153
00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:00,349
Ah, ah, ah, no peeking.

154
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:04,440
No, I'm not supposed to wear
the blindfold. You are!

155
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:07,704
No way! That's impossible.
How could I see?

156
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:10,838
-[SQUARE DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
-Now, nine bows to the ten
and swings to the corner.

157
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:13,014
Thirteen and twelve,
do-si-do to the side.

158
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:15,190
Fourteen and eight,
promenade to the corner.

159
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,758
And skip to the lou
my darling!

160
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:22,502
All right, no more
messing around.
Best outta three.

161
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,940
-But I beat you twice already.
-I meant best outta five!

162
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:29,030
And this time,
I choose the cues.

163
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:32,860
This one's mine,
and this one's yours.

164
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:34,862
This cue is
as crooked as he is.

165
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:37,386
-[LAUGHING]
-[WHIMPERING]

166
00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:40,215
[MOCK LAUGHING]

167
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:42,304
[BOTH EXCLAIM]

168
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:49,746
-Ooh, this cane's
got some sugar.
-Gimme that thing.

169
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:53,663
All right. I'm gonna
show him how it's... Ow!

170
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,797
Wow, doc, that last
sure was a knockout!

171
00:08:56,884 --> 00:09:00,757
-Lemme give you another cue,
the cue to leave.
-[GRUNTING]

172
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:06,589
All right, I've had it!
One final game.
Winner takes all the nuts.

173
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:09,200
So, lemme get this straight,
winner wins?

174
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,986
-Yes, winner wins.
-For all the nuts?

175
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,075
Winner wins all the nuts.

176
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:16,251
-All of them?
-Yes!

177
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,514
-For all the nuts?
-Yes!

178
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,821
Your loss, pal.

179
00:09:20,908 --> 00:09:24,476
I'm gonna have to pull out
all the stops, if I'm gonna
beat this rabbit.

180
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,740
-[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
-[SNAPS FINGERS]

181
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,265
[LOUD DRUMMING]

182
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,311
[REVVING]

183
00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:36,793
[AIR HORN BLOWING]

184
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,276
Hmm. This is gonna be tricky.

185
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,844
-[SQUEAKS]
-That shot's impossible!

186
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:48,500
The nine-ball's gotta go in
before the eight-ball,
or you lose!

187
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,590
Then I guess I better
make this shot count.

188
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:55,638
-Ha ha! You missed!
-Did I?

189
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,080
Huh?

190
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:10,697
-And eight-ball
in the corner pocket.
-[SQUEAKS TRIUMPHANTLY]

191
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:14,439
I will not be made a fool of
in my own pool hall!

192
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:22,056
-Enough.
-BYSTANDERS: [MURMURING]
Oh! It's Rats.

193
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:28,062
Holy smokes, is it really him?
Minnesota Rats, the greatest
pool player who ever lived?

194
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:33,502
I've been watching these
events unfold, and frankly,
I'm disappointed.

195
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:38,768
You don't play fair,
and that ain't right.
Ramses, show him the door.

196
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:41,249
-[CRASHES]
-SHIFTY: Ow!

197
00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:43,686
-Now open it for him.
-[DOOR OPENS]

198
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:46,602
-[SHIFTY YELLING]
-[CRASHES]

199
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:51,694
Hey there, you're pretty good.
Care to join me for a game
at my reserve table?

200
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:54,610
Thanks, but no thanks.
I know when
I'm out of my league.

201
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:57,831
I'm gonna play in a real pool.
Come on, Squeaks.

202
00:10:57,918 --> 00:10:59,484
[SQUEAKS HUMMING]