1
00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:13,245
[Dean Martin's
Ain't That A Kick In The Head]
2
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:16,482
(Buddy)
People kill themselves
for lots of reasons.
3
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:18,550
Me?
I just have two.
4
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,419
[grunts]
¶ How lucky can one guy be? ¶
5
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,755
All I need is one day.
Hand to God.
6
00:00:22,757 --> 00:00:26,091
I am getting a big inheritance
tomorrow from my uncle Doug.
7
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:29,061
He made his money in tires.
High-end radials,
8
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,462
not that cheap crap.
9
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,530
Take his balls.
10
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,800
Whoa, whoa.
Can't we start with a pinky?
11
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:37,136
Guys, come on.
12
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:39,571
Oh, you a dead man, Buddy!
13
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,540
One: I don't have
long to live anyway.
14
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,176
Hey, LeeAnne, you know how
you're always saying
15
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,577
- we should take a vacation?
- Mm-hmm.
16
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:46,845
Let's go.
Right now.
17
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,280
Oh, god, what did you do
this time?
18
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,548
Nothing. Look, I'll
take you to Vegas.
19
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,884
We'll sit by the pool.
I'll take you to some shows.
20
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:52,384
Buddy.
21
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,319
All right, look.
I'm in serious trouble.
22
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,155
There's some guys after me.
We gotta leave town.
23
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,523
How can you pull
this crap on me now?
24
00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,491
You know that my mother
is coming to visit.
25
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,226
I'm sorry, baby.
But we gotta go.
26
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,928
- No.
- What?
27
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:06,799
Buddy, I love you, but I
can't live like this anymore.
28
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:12,638
LeeAnne, it'll get better.
I promise.
29
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,406
How many times
have you said that?
30
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,676
And it never does.
31
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:21,113
I'm sorry.
32
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:23,449
We're done.
33
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:28,287
And two:
I have nothing to live for.
34
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,400
[tires screech]
35
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,168
(man)
Stop!
36
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,103
Don't!
37
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:46,338
Whatever the problem is,
it is not worth
38
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,639
killing yourself over.
39
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,708
How the fuck
do you know?
40
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:50,876
Wait, wait!
41
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:53,479
I-I know about despair.
42
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:56,048
A month ago
I had nothing.
43
00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:58,650
No job, no friends,
or family to speak of.
44
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:02,621
Now I am on my way to
a new job in a new city.
45
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,290
Look, pal.
I'm gonna jump anyway.
46
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,192
There's no reason
to bore me to death.
47
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:09,294
The point is that
it is never too late
48
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:10,529
for redemption.
49
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,397
Have you thought about
asking God for help?
50
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:13,665
I don't believe
in God.
51
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,968
I am sorry you feel that way,
because God provides.
52
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:19,505
You just have to seize the
opportunities that he gives you.
53
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:22,207
Yeah, well,
maybe in my next life.
54
00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:23,008
Good luck on the new gig.
55
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,543
No, no, please,
please, please.
56
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,011
What do you care?
57
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,180
You don't give a shit
about me.
58
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,848
Yes, I do.
59
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:30,883
I'll prove it.
60
00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,084
Hey, what are you
doing, man?
61
00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:33,685
I'm gonna come over
there so we can
62
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:37,756
both come back toge--
[screaming]
63
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,526
[water splashes]
Oh, shit!
64
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:43,295
Oh, God!
65
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:44,163
Whoa!
66
00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:46,965
[car beeping]
67
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:50,135
(man's voice echoing)
God provides.
You just have to seize
68
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,704
the opportunities that
he gives you.
69
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:04,750
[cell phone rings]
70
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:11,857
Hello?
71
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:12,958
(Dora)
Jonathan?
72
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,560
Hi, it's Dora.
73
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,929
Oh, my gosh, it's so nice
to finally hear your voice.
74
00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:18,530
Just wondering where
you are.
75
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,366
Uh, St. Vincent Bridge.
76
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,301
(Dora)
Good, you're on schedule.
77
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:23,902
What do you say
I meet you at the house
78
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,471
tomorrow morning,
10 a.m.?
79
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,909
Why not?
80
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:31,877
What's that address again?
81
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,478
[Canned Heat's
Going Up The Country]
82
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,980
¶ I'm goin' up the country ¶
83
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:38,850
¶ Baby,
don't you want to go? ¶
84
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,819
¶ I'm goin' up the country ¶
85
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:44,323
¶ Baby,
don't you want to go? ¶
86
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:50,862
¶ I'm goin' to some place
where I've never been before ¶
87
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,864
¶ I'm gonna leave this city ¶
88
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:56,602
¶ Got to get away ¶
89
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,737
¶ I'm gonna leave this city ¶
90
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:02,241
¶ Got to get away ¶
91
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:04,476
¶ All this fussin'
and fightin', man ¶
92
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,777
¶ You know I sure
can't stay ¶
93
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:08,580
(Buddy)
My plan was to take over
Jonathan Barlow's life
94
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,550
for a few days
till I figured out my next move.
95
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:12,751
Or until I got caught.
96
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,320
Which could be a matter
of seconds.
97
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,955
(Dora)
Well, hello there.
98
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,924
I'm Dora.
99
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,659
Yeah, come on in.
100
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,563
You know, you're different
than I pictured you.
101
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:25,564
Yeah, how's that?
102
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:26,698
I don't know.
You're just--
103
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,167
You're more...
rugged.
104
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,269
[clears throat]
105
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:33,872
- Thanks, I guess.
- Yeah.
106
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:34,906
Nice place.
107
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:35,774
Ahh, I'm so glad
you like it.
108
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:40,679
We hope you enjoy living
here for a long, long time.
109
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:43,181
Wait...
This is mine?
110
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:46,818
Yes, I specified in my emails
that we would provide housing.
111
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,087
One of the perks
of the job.
112
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,656
So tell me more
about this job.
113
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:54,526
Oh, I imagine it's pretty
much like your last one.
114
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,528
So, if you'll
follow me.
115
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,664
In here is
my office area.
116
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:01,066
As your assistant,
I am usually here from 9 to 5.
117
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:05,137
But I have my own key, so you
don't have to worry about me.
118
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,338
You like birds, huh?
119
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,840
You know me already.
120
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,275
Listen, I don't mean
to be too forward,
121
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:11,476
but do you think that
you could give me
122
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,880
a sneak preview of what you're
gonna talk about on Sunday?
123
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:17,816
- Talk about?
- In your sermon, Reverend.
124
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,319
- Jesus Christ.
- I assumed that,
125
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:21,753
but what aspect?
126
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,589
I think I'd rather
leave it a surprise.
127
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,559
A man of mystery.
128
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:28,727
I like it.
129
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:29,861
[laughs]
130
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:30,562
So, what do you say?
131
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,065
You ready to meet
the church staff?
132
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,166
Ready as I'll ever be.
133
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,534
[Aretha Franklin's
Son Of A Preacher Man]
134
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,569
¶ The only one
who could ever reach me ¶
135
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,738
¶ Was the son
of a preacher man ¶
136
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,574
¶ The only boy
who could ever teach me ¶
137
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:46,978
(Dora)
This is Alden Schmidt,
he is our Church President.
138
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,881
Alexa Cummings,
she's the Treasurer.
139
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,984
And Russell Kerry,
he is our Secretary.
140
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,152
(Schmidt)
Uh, Reverend Barlow--
141
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,821
Oh, he prefers
Jonathan.
142
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:58,390
Actually, you can
just call me Buddy.
143
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,059
It'll be easier
for all of us to remember.
144
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:05,430
Well, um, as you may know,
uh, Buddy,
145
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,299
we have spent
the better part of a year
146
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:09,534
searching for
Pastor Willis' replacement.
147
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,803
So we're very excited
that you're here.
148
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,138
Super excited.
149
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:19,211
Still, we need to talk about
what happened in Florida.
150
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,279
What do you mean?
151
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,982
Well, the--the problem
that you had
152
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,083
with your last
congregation.
153
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,918
We appreciate you being
up-front with that.
154
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,521
Oh, yeah, well, honesty
is the best policy,
155
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:32,190
especially for a man
of the cloth...
156
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,325
Which is what I am.
157
00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:34,960
I, for one, think you
were very courageous.
158
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:38,130
It can't be easy for
a religious leader to come out.
159
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,197
Of what?
160
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,199
[laughs]
161
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:44,603
[laughing]
- Oh, that. Yes.
162
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,705
Don't worry, you won't
face any harassment here.
163
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,741
We are very proud
to have a gay pastor.
164
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,676
And super excited.
165
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:54,112
That being said, again,
166
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:56,948
we are a conservative
congregation and we prefer
167
00:06:56,950 --> 00:07:02,487
to uphold the tradition of
Ladner Trinity Lutheran Church.
168
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:03,688
Uh, what tradition is that?
169
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:07,793
Well, uh, the gay men
and the lesbians
170
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,395
be allowed to serve
as clergy as long as
171
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:13,799
they remain
sexually inactive.
172
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:14,933
Not a problem.
173
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:18,870
Oh, so you're not planning
on engaging in any...
174
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:21,273
homosexual activities?
175
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,074
You have my word.
176
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:23,842
Excellent.
177
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:27,379
All right, come on then.
We'll take you on the tour.
178
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:28,747
Okay.
179
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:35,420
Not everyone feels
that's a hard and fast rule.
180
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:36,655
Okay.
181
00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:46,565
"LeeAnne, please forgive me.
I had no choice. Buddy."
182
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,467
We found that in the front
seat of his vehicle
183
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:49,801
tucked into his wallet.
184
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,737
I can't believe he
jumped off the bridge.
185
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:53,271
Really?
186
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,540
Oh, St. Vincent is
the second most popular place
187
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,209
to commit suicide
in the country.
188
00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,578
People come from
all over to do it.
189
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,847
Some even take a bus
or a cab just to--
190
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:02,247
Tim.
191
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:06,251
Had Mr. Dobbs shown any
signs of depression lately?
192
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:09,020
No, but he was scared.
193
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,456
He said some people
were out to get him.
194
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,557
What people?
195
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:13,258
I don't know.
196
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:16,528
Even if he jumped, it doesn't
mean for sure he's dead.
197
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:19,097
- Right?
- The fatality rate is 98%.
198
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:22,601
When he hit the water he was
going 86 miles an hour,
199
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,504
so there's a good chance
his neck would have snapped
200
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,105
or his skull
would have been crushed.
201
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,074
Tim.
202
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:32,310
The good news is, between
the sharks and the tide,
203
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,745
we're probably never
gonna find his body,
204
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:37,148
so you're not gonna have
to see how mangled he got.
205
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,351
That's your idea
of good news?
206
00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,086
If we have any further
developments,
207
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,354
we'll give you a call.
208
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,756
You call.
209
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,758
Not him.
210
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,960
[mellow music]
211
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,162
(Buddy)
I knew I couldn't fool
these people for long,
212
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:53,231
so I figured I'd empty
Barlow's bank account,
213
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,133
and get out of here
as fast as I could.
214
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,235
But first I had to crack
his password.
215
00:08:57,237 --> 00:09:01,273
Jonathan, my friend,
looks like you had a good life.
216
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:03,742
Sorry it had to end.
217
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:07,979
Now how the hell do I get
your money?
218
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,251
Come on, Rusty.
219
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,086
[computer bonks]
220
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,688
[knocking at door]
221
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,156
Come in.
222
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,157
- Hi-ya.
- Hi.
223
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,259
Marla Simmons,
a congregant,
224
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:21,993
is here to see you.
225
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,462
She says that it's
a personal matter.
226
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,464
Send her in.
227
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:27,699
To your bedroom?
228
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,869
Uh, no, that would
be wrong.
229
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,071
Where did Pastor Willis
meet people?
230
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,306
In the study.
231
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,308
Let's do it there.
232
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,277
It's my son Jasper.
233
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:42,047
I think he's headed
on a path to Satan.
234
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,215
That sounds kind of dark.
235
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,451
I found this
in his room.
236
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,119
I think it's marijuana.
237
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,788
High quality too.
238
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,324
How do you know that?
239
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:54,492
Missionary work
in Jamaica.
240
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:55,860
I'm scared, Reverend.
241
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,429
Jasper has always been
such a good boy.
242
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:01,333
But lately he's got problems.
He needs help.
243
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:03,735
Look, just because your son
scored a bag of
244
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:07,238
what appears to be
Blue Dragon Ultimate Kush
245
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,808
doesn't mean he's on a path
to Satan.
246
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:10,909
It's not just that.
247
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:15,981
I came home and found him
having relations with...
248
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,116
A girl?
249
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,985
A woman?
250
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,252
Boy?
251
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,120
Cantaloupe.
252
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,888
[laughing]
Cantaloupe?
253
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:27,926
I'm--I'm sorry,
how does one...
254
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,728
He said if you bore
a hole in the fruit,
255
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:30,996
and put it in the microwave,
256
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:34,566
it provides a sensation
of being with a woman.
257
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:35,600
That works?
258
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,102
I don't know.
259
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,570
I just thought maybe
you could talk to him,
260
00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:41,039
- set him straight.
- Me?
261
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:44,275
He needs a male role model,
please.
262
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:45,610
Okay.
263
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:46,711
I'll give it a shot.
264
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:49,581
Well, thank you.
265
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:50,548
What should I do
with this?
266
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:53,752
You don't need to deal
with this burden.
267
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,154
Leave it with me.
268
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,891
[inhales deeply]
269
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,366
Hello?
270
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,444
Oh, my God.
271
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:24,749
They got everything, my iPhone,
my laptop, Buddy's TV.
272
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:28,086
Clearly whoever did this isn't
aware of Mr. Dobbs' demise.
273
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,321
I'm afraid
they might come back.
274
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,289
They always do.
275
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,992
And that's when things
get really ugly.
276
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:37,462
Um, who said you could
take one of my sodas?
277
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,264
I told you
not to bring him.
278
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,065
I have to.
279
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,332
He's the captain's nephew.
280
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:42,834
Listen, I know
you've been having
281
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:43,668
a really tough
time lately.
282
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:48,540
If you ever need to talk
or maybe get a drink...
283
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,476
Are you shitting me?
284
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,111
My apartment is trashed,
285
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:56,414
the man I love is dead because
I wasn't there for him,
286
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,917
and you're hitting on me?
287
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,019
Dude...
288
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,021
Inappropriate.
289
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:11,129
(Buddy)
The melon bangers weed
was primo.
290
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:14,132
I thought about all that had
gone down in the last 24 hours,
291
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:17,368
and my mind kept
coming back to one thing.
292
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:20,238
I had to let LeeAnne know
I was all right.
293
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,875
[line ringing]
294
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,311
LeeAnne--[coughs]
It's me.
295
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,213
I'm alive.
296
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,115
LeeAnne?
297
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:32,150
[knocking at window]
298
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,619
I saw your light on.
299
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:39,791
Hey, how's it going?
300
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,527
Yeah, I'm sorry
to bother. I--
301
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:43,628
Are you okay?
302
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,697
Your eyes are very red.
303
00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:48,733
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I'm just--I'm tired.
304
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:51,369
May I come in?
305
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,203
[sniffs]
306
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,539
Oof, what's that smell?
307
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,876
[sniffs]
Uh, I think it's a skunk.
308
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,011
Boy, must be right
under the house, huh?
309
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,312
Yeah, why don't you
have a seat?
310
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,914
- Oh, thanks.
- What can I do for you?
311
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,416
Well, it's my daughter
Isabella.
312
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,886
She and her husband have
been having terrible
313
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,588
financial difficulties.
It's affecting their marriage.
314
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,957
She says they fight
all the time now.
315
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,927
Oh, that sucks.
316
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:19,531
Well, I am one who believes
that in times of crisis
317
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:22,400
it's God's word
that pulls us through.
318
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,434
- Yes.
- And I was hoping
319
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:27,405
that you could help
by giving them some scripture.
320
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,740
Some what?
321
00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:29,607
Scripture.
322
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:32,944
Oh, scripture.
Sure.
323
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,547
I love that stuff.
It's awesome.
324
00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:38,383
Reverend, could you give
Isabella a passage
325
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,585
from the Bible, please?
326
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,854
Yes, I can do that.
327
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:46,457
I just--I don't
have a Bible.
328
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,626
[stammering]
329
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:51,162
Oh, good.
There's one.
330
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,099
I know just the passage.
331
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,104
Here.
332
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:03,741
I think she'll find this
very helpful.
333
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,443
All right.
334
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,178
At--Well--This is--
335
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,882
It's just a list of people
who begat other people.
336
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:16,020
What has that got to do with
Isabella's financial problems?
337
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:19,824
I can't do all the work,
my son.
338
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,630
(Buddy)
I had a feeling
Schmidt was onto me.
339
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:26,831
But I couldn't run
with no money,
340
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:29,267
and I still hadn't cracked
Barlow's password.
341
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:33,438
So I thought I'd take one of
his credit cards for a test run.
342
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,408
I'm sorry, I can't swipe
a credit card
343
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,409
without a picture ID.
344
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,477
It's okay, Chelsea,
345
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,845
you can make an exception
in this case.
346
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:44,716
This is Reverend Barlow,
our new minister.
347
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:48,319
I'm sorry, Reverend.
Um, I-I didn't know.
348
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:48,953
Not a problem.
349
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:51,256
Throw 100 in cash
in there too, okay?
350
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,824
Thanks, Alexa.
351
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:53,992
You remembered.
352
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,094
How could I forget?
353
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,028
Here you go.
354
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,731
Oh, bless you.
355
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,166
So, I have to ask,
why would a good looking,
356
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:04,669
young minister choose
Ladner of all places?
357
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,070
We're in the middle
of nowhere.
358
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,239
Well, let's just say
when the man upstairs
359
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,642
tells you where to go,
you don't argue.
360
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:12,844
Well, I'm so glad
you listened.
361
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:14,579
So am I.
362
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,848
Oh, hey...you.
363
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:18,416
Funny we should run
into each other.
364
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,285
I was just gonna
invite you to dinner.
365
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,487
- Dinner?
- You eat, don't you?
366
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:25,757
And I cook.
So, kismet.
367
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,392
It'll be a great way
for you to meet
368
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:28,593
some members of
our community.
369
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,995
Oh, so there's gonna
be other people there?
370
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:35,633
Yes, silly, I'm not
asking you on a date.
371
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:36,634
And we should get
together too.
372
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,170
As head of the welcoming
committee, it is my job
373
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,238
to make sure you
feel at home here.
374
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,774
I thought Dora was chairman
of the welcoming committee.
375
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,976
We're co-chairs.
376
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,244
Well, I should get going.
377
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,313
I'll, um, see you around.
378
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:49,781
Bye.
379
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:50,748
What are you doing?
380
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:51,783
He plays for my team.
381
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,985
I am not so sure
about that.
382
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,653
I'm not so sure
about those shoes.
383
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:59,123
(Schmidt)
I'm telling you, there is
something off with this guy.
384
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:02,360
We all know that you were
against hiring a gay pastor.
385
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:03,294
No, it's not that.
386
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,197
He didn't even seem to know
what scripture was.
387
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:08,866
Or maybe you're just looking
for any excuse
388
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,335
to find fault with him.
Excuse me.
389
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,671
Or maybe hiring someone
sight unseen over the internet
390
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:14,305
was a bad idea.
391
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,475
Do you wanna spend another year
looking for a new pastor?
392
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,242
Because I don't.
393
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,111
Now, I have been corresponding
with Reverend Barlow
394
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:22,580
for weeks and all
of my instincts tell me
395
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,048
that he is a good man.
396
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:27,685
Yes, and we all know how good
your instincts about men are.
397
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:30,688
Alden Schmidt,
for a Christian,
398
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,890
you can be very hurtful.
399
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:35,159
Oh, Dora.
400
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:39,197
You make a fine
three bean salad.
401
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,665
Yes, I do.
402
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,366
[knocks on door]
403
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,267
(Mrs. Simmons)
Jasper, Reverend Barlow's here.
404
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:45,970
[knocking at door]
405
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,139
Didn't you hear me?
406
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,440
You see,
he just ignores me.
407
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:53,044
Why don't you give us
a minute alone?
408
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,881
Hello, Jasper.
409
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,349
So you're the new homo pastor
410
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,852
everyone's got
such a hard-on for?
411
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,053
It's nice to meet you too.
412
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,922
Your mom came to me because
she's concerned about you.
413
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:08,226
You mean concerned I'm
banging cantaloupes, right?
414
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,394
Among other things.
415
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,496
Why do you think
you do that?
416
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:12,397
'Cause mangoes are too small
417
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,766
and watermelons
fall apart too easy.
418
00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:16,667
But why fruit?
419
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,770
This may shock you, Rev,
420
00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:22,640
but despite my movie star looks,
I don't get a lot of ass.
421
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:23,608
So why not?
422
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,376
Because it's freaking out
your mother
423
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,145
and she seems like
a decent lady.
424
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:31,282
Yeah, well, she's
a controlling, neurotic bitch!
425
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,785
You have any idea how lucky
you are to have
426
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:34,619
a parent in your life?
427
00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:37,555
I cannot wait to get away
from that woman.
428
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,923
Yeah, when is
that happening?
429
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:41,459
Soon as I finish
high school.
430
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:42,794
61 days.
431
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:44,195
Okay.
432
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,497
This is how
it's going down.
433
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:49,200
When you leave this house
you can smoke weed
434
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:52,336
and pound all
the produce you want.
435
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:55,073
But for the next 61 days,
436
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:57,275
you're gonna be a model son.
437
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:58,109
And why is that?
438
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,912
Because you may
not know this,
439
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:03,514
but there's a special
place in hell
440
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,316
for little snot-nosed
bastards
441
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,484
who disrespect
their mothers.
442
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,786
And if you don't start
treating her better,
443
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,622
I will personally use
all my clout with the big guy
444
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:16,260
to make sure you fry
your ass off for all eternity.
445
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:16,994
You can't do that.
446
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,697
Oh, no?
Try me, you little shit.
447
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,933
What's it gonna be, Jasper?
448
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,801
Two months of good behavior
449
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:28,773
or eternal fucking damnation?
450
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:32,710
You don't sound like
any preacher I've ever met.
451
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,113
I'll take that as
a compliment.
452
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,481
And you sure don't
seem gay.
453
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:39,684
Well, I don't know what
you think a gay person
454
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,285
is supposed to seem like,
455
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,322
but make no mistake,
456
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:46,791
I like cock.
457
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:50,795
(Buddy)
Come on, Jesus, be the password.
458
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,030
[computer bonks]
459
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,765
Hey, thought you
were gone.
460
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,434
Oh, no, just ducked
out for a sec.
461
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:57,268
[microwave beeps]
462
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,503
Oh, I'll get that
for you.
463
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,037
Oh, no, no,
that's okay.
464
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,440
You--
465
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,442
Why are you heating up
a cantaloupe?
466
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:09,213
And why is there
a hole in it?
467
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:11,516
Why do you think?
468
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,684
To put ice cream in it?
469
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,953
Yes!
470
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,255
Yum.
471
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:20,758
[police radio chatter]
472
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:24,529
Huh.
473
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:27,498
I wonder what
this is about.
474
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,201
(Buddy)
My time was up.
I had two choices:
475
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,170
Tell the truth
and face murder charges
476
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,305
when no one believes
my story,
477
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,506
or make a run for it.
478
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,643
[upbeat music]
479
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:44,949
¶ ¶
480
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:48,386
- Buddy?
- [screams]
481
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:53,758
Hey,
I saw this wounded bird.
482
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,726
I was gonna pray over it.
483
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:56,360
Oh, no.
484
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:59,197
It's okay.
He walked it off.
485
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:02,333
May we have a word please?
486
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,568
Yeah.
487
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,438
This is my son-in-law
Michael.
488
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,341
Uh, he has something
to say to you.
489
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,577
You tell everyone
you're a pastor?
490
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:17,081
But I know what
you really are.
491
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,082
You do?
492
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:19,183
You're a psychic.
493
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,451
I mean, how else
could you know?
494
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,186
- Know?
- That Isabella and I were
495
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,888
fighting over when
to have a baby.
496
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,089
That's what you meant
by giving us
497
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,524
that Bible passage,
right?
498
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:27,792
That the time is now?
499
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,927
So you got that, huh?
500
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,629
[doorbell rings]
- Ooh, I'll get it.
501
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,664
I've been telling her
that you can't let money
502
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,399
decide when you
start a family.
503
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,435
But it took your passage
to convince her.
504
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,937
I had to come over
and thank you.
505
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:42,340
You're welcome.
506
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,476
What did you say
to my son?
507
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,011
Uh, just some stuff.
508
00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:49,780
Do you know what he did
after you left?
509
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,649
He said he was sorry.
510
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,551
Then he hugged me.
511
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,052
He hasn't done that
in years.
512
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,787
You're a miracle worker.
513
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,090
Oh, now now.
514
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:02,560
I'm just God's
humble servant.
515
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:05,096
And to think, some people
weren't even sure
516
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,631
you were qualified.
517
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,966
Gloating is unbecoming,
Dora.
518
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,135
Yes.
Yes, just...
519
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:11,736
feels so good.
520
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:14,572
It is such a blessing
to have you here, Reverend.
521
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:15,339
Oh, that's funny.
522
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,641
That's the word that
you always use
523
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:18,342
in your emails,
blessing.
524
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:22,947
(Buddy)
And suddenly, I knew
Jonathan Barlow's password.
525
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,615
12,400 bucks.
526
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:28,486
Not a fortune, but enough
to hit the road with.
527
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:29,920
But where should I go?
528
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:32,056
Back to the city
and all my debts?
529
00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:34,258
Some place as far away
as possible?
530
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:36,327
[cell phone rings]
531
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:37,662
- Hello.
- Buddy?
532
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:38,396
It's Russell.
533
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,998
You've got
the whole town buzzing.
534
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:41,699
About what?
535
00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:43,434
(Russell)
All the good you've been doing.
536
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:48,105
Everyone's just so happy
you're here.
537
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,941
You know what?
538
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:51,809
So am I.
539
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,378
[gospel music]
540
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:57,348
(Buddy)
Maybe the real Jonathan Barlow
was right.
541
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:59,950
Maybe it is never too late
for redemption.
542
00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:01,886
Even for a screw-up
like me.
543
00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:05,089
[cell phone rings]
544
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:06,791
- Hello?
- Hi, it's Alexa.
545
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:08,793
I wanted to plan
a big welcoming party
546
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,027
and I'd love to get
your input.
547
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:13,297
Are you free?
Can I come over?
548
00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:15,566
Uh, sure.
549
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:18,636
Stop it.
550
00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:21,472
You are a gay pastor,
and she is one of your flock.
551
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:23,974
This is just about
a welcoming party.
552
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:28,646
[knocks at door]
553
00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:29,613
Hello, Buddy.
554
00:22:29,615 --> 00:22:30,981
[Canned Heat's
Going Up The Country]
555
00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:32,483
¶ I'm goin' up the country ¶
556
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:35,886
¶ Baby,
don't you want to go? ¶
557
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:42,193
[soul music]
558
00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:58,943
¶ ¶