1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:01,242 . 2 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:02,500 [rock music] 3 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:07,307 - Have you ever noticed there are no female cereal mascots? 4 00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:12,078 - How does eating cereal become a feminist issue? 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,680 There's Tony the Tiger; Toucan Sam; 6 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:17,622 Snap, Crackle, and Pop; Captain Crunch. 7 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,918 - What about Fruity Pebbles? Pebbles is a girl. 8 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,960 - Nice try, but Fred and Barney are on the box. 9 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:27,058 - What do you want from me? 10 00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,333 Dad, what are you doing here? 11 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:32,932 - That's a greeting? 12 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,873 No "hello, Dad, nice to see you"? 13 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,168 - Hello, Dad, nice-- 14 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,010 - Now it's too late. 15 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,440 We've got a hankering for lemonade. 16 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,612 You've always got this weird bowl full of lemons 17 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,581 just sitting here doing jack squat. 18 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,250 - You never use them. 19 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,379 - Not once have we tasted 20 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:53,193 a dish in this house that had a lemon flavor. 21 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:54,617 - Just take 'em. 22 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:55,962 [phone dings] 23 00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,826 - Oh, my God, I just got a job interview 24 00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,055 at the Weisman Space Center! 25 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,159 - Fantastic. 26 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,631 - Oh, congratulations, sweetheart. 27 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:05,329 I'll be honest; I never got this ladies-in-space stuff 28 00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:09,643 until I saw Sandy Bullock in that "Gravity." 29 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:12,337 But I think she handled herself real well. 30 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,505 - I've always wanted to work at the Weisman. 31 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,380 I'm so excited! 32 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,279 Oh, no. 33 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,621 I can already feel the sleep I'm not gonna get tonight. 34 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,246 I should have slept more last night; 35 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:27,052 but if I'd known, I wouldn't have slept at all. 36 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,264 What if I screw it up? Then I'll never sleep. 37 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:31,457 - Knowing you, you'll get the job, you're gonna do great, 38 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:33,459 and you're gonna win a Nobel Prize. 39 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:36,161 - I do have my speech ready. 40 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:38,274 But what if it sounds over-rehearsed? 41 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:39,666 What if it's too long? 42 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:40,767 What if they play me off 43 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:43,298 with that weird Norwegian award music? 44 00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:46,843 - The point is, we're taking the lemons. 45 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,740 Come on, Alice. Let's go. 46 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:53,177 - So, viewers, this is my kitchen. 47 00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:54,981 There's my nerdy sister. 48 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,982 There's my giant dad. 49 00:01:56,984 --> 00:02:00,754 Wave to the camera, Dad. - No. 50 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,394 - Classic Dad. 51 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:04,491 - Tell me what's happening. 52 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,062 - Stella's got a YouTube channel. 53 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,459 - I'm giving Mom an on-camera makeover for your date tonight. 54 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,202 My fans are very excited. 55 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:12,499 I took this from Sephora. 56 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:16,600 You can also buy it, but that's more expensive. 57 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,841 - Oop! Purse spill, BRB. 58 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,711 - What's with all the pills? 59 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,010 - Just the usual. 60 00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:26,111 Birth control. 61 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:29,723 Plan B in case I forget to take my birth control. 62 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,287 Oh, and my actress pills. 63 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,215 I have an antianxiety prescription to help me 64 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,291 with auditions. 65 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,218 - Now you have an anxiety problem? 66 00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:39,894 - Not after a glass of pinot and two of these bad boys. 67 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:40,933 - What is this one? 68 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,458 - It's Viagra. 69 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:45,503 Way to act like you didn't know, Dad. 70 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,399 - You dating some super-old guy? 71 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:52,311 And if you are, can he marry you and pay your bills? 72 00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:55,106 - Lots of young guys take Viagra as a party drug. 73 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,248 They say it's even more fun when you don't need it. 74 00:02:57,245 --> 00:03:00,875 Anyway, it's not mine; I'm holding it for a friend. 75 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:05,691 Whoa, that's the first time I've said that and it was true. 76 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,589 - Oh, she missed one. 77 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,561 It's an antianxiety pill. 78 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,630 You know, I do have that job interview. 79 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,598 Maybe I should take it to smooth out my edges. 80 00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:20,267 - I don't think taking floor pills is the answer. 81 00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:21,938 Look, your mother is a therapist. 82 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,595 Why don't you go talk to her? 83 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,674 - I'll do that, and I'll give this back to Stella. 84 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,306 On the one hand, I should be able 85 00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:32,551 to deal with my stress without taking this pill. 86 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,176 On the other hand, 87 00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,022 I just took it. 88 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,017 - Uh--[sighs]. 89 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,931 [rock music] 90 00:03:53,934 --> 00:04:01,144 * 91 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,107 - Oh, hey, sweetie! 92 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,753 Come look at my makeover. 93 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,148 - Aw, Mom. 94 00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:13,790 You're such a pretty mom. 95 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:17,657 So, so pretty. 96 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:20,828 Pretty, pretty Mom. 97 00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:23,398 - Wow, thank you, honey. 98 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:26,567 Dad tells me you're nervous about your job interview. 99 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:30,337 Just remember, keep your shoulders loose; don't turtle. 100 00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:33,538 - Aww, turtles. 101 00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:35,341 - And don't forget I'm a resource. 102 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,653 Helping anxious people is exactly the kind of thing 103 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,575 I went to school for, so people should take advantage of-- 104 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,550 - Okay, bye-bye. 105 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,150 - Look at you. Stella did a great job. 106 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,422 - I know! 107 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:51,790 Some YouTube commenter named ILoveMILFs made a comment 108 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,532 so filthy, it was in violation 109 00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,357 of their Terms of Service policy. 110 00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:56,833 Isn't that sweet? 111 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,230 - Congratulations. 112 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,541 On a related topic, a recreational party enhancer 113 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,235 happens to have fallen into my hands. 114 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,237 - What did Stella give you? 115 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,709 - She didn't give it to me. She dropped it and I found it. 116 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,839 But turns out it's not 117 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:14,554 just for old couples in side-by-side outdoor bathtubs. 118 00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:17,418 - But, honey, you don't need it. 119 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:20,388 - I know, but what if it makes me 22 again? 120 00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:21,958 - Mm, to be honest, 121 00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:27,855 I remember 22-year-old Mike as energetic but unschooled. 122 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,566 - Because he didn't have the knowledge and technique 123 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,695 of modern-day Mike. 124 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,130 Think about it. 125 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:37,514 Experienced, thoughtful Mike up here, 126 00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:40,405 22-year-old Mike down below. 127 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,714 Like some kind of mythological beast. 128 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:50,947 - I'm rethinking my opposition. 129 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,791 - Good, because I already took it. 130 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:53,986 [exhales] 131 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:56,117 Wow. 132 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,263 - Wow. 133 00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:02,658 - The beast is no longer mythological. 134 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:06,597 . 135 00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:08,165 * 136 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,111 - So why did you insist we go up in your chopper? 137 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,806 What's the big mystery? 138 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:18,148 - Well, I want to talk about something--something that 139 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,805 I'm not comfortable talking about on Earth. 140 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,046 Plus, this way, if it gets really awkward, 141 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,522 I can crash into some rocks and kill us both. 142 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,222 - So what is it? 143 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,763 - It's just--uh-- 144 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,600 have you ever had to ask your doctor 145 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:37,465 if you were healthy enough for sex? 146 00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:39,365 - What the hell kind of relationship do you think 147 00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:42,866 I have with my doctor? 148 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,000 - Have you ever needed to 149 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,844 chemically assist your intimate performance? 150 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,280 - Just come right out with it 151 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,305 or crash us into those rocks down there. 152 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:54,180 Your call. I'm good either way. 153 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,951 - Do you use Viagra? 154 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,489 - No, I don't. 155 00:06:57,485 --> 00:07:00,215 Nice talk. Take us down. 156 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,690 - I tried one just for fun. 157 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:04,219 I was hoping I could borrow a couple from you, but never mind. 158 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:06,864 - So was it fun? 159 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,230 - Yeah, it was like I was 22 again. 160 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:10,499 - Hmm. 161 00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:14,198 Okay, son, I think I know what you need to do. 162 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,401 - Oh, yeah, what is that, Dad? 163 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,612 - Get me some. 164 00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:20,535 I'd like to be 22 again. 165 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:24,411 Big Swinging Bob was something to be reckoned with. 166 00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:29,081 * 167 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,382 - Wow, so he doesn't need anything. 168 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:35,594 At his age, impressive. 169 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:41,429 - Please, stop being impressed by my father's sexual prowess. 170 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:45,298 - Honey, don't be so sensitive. We took it once for fun. 171 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,398 You don't need it either. 172 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,599 - Of course not, but it was fun, though. 173 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,442 It made me feel young again. 174 00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:54,807 - Made me feel young again too. 175 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,778 - Maybe we should do it just one more time, 176 00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,108 relive our youth. 177 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,882 - But you'd have to get a prescription. 178 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:04,351 - Not really. Stella's room is like a CVS. 179 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,863 - Mike, we shouldn't invade her privacy like that. 180 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:11,756 - Well, she invaded our privacy first by moving back in. 181 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:14,029 We're actually doing a service for the community. 182 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,827 We're taking drugs off the street. 183 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,930 - And putting them in your body. 184 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,742 - It's recycling. We're going green. 185 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,065 * 186 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,407 - [gasps] Oh, my God! 187 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,109 Grandma's ring. 188 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,581 - Didn't we tell the insurance company that was stolen? 189 00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:37,621 - Well, it technically was... by Stella. 190 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,918 - Ah, jackpot. 191 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,160 I knew having kids would pay off one day. 192 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:46,762 - What are you guys doing here? 193 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,830 - Um... 194 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,460 So this is the load-bearing wall. 195 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,874 - Oh! 196 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,237 What are you doing here, Shea? 197 00:08:56,236 --> 00:09:00,606 - I was just looking for one of, uh, Stella's, uh, 198 00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:02,278 antianxiety pills! 199 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,975 Yeah, that's it! 200 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,980 Wait, that is it. 201 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,424 - Well, well, well, what do we have here? 202 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:20,234 Open the hands. 203 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,027 My anxiety pills. 204 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:26,101 Let's see it, big guy. 205 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,769 Viagra. 206 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,910 Grandma's ring. 207 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:35,235 I mean, oh, my God, you found Grandma's ring! 208 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,342 Score! 209 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,179 - Stella, I just needed the pills for this job interview 210 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,681 I have coming up. 211 00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:45,353 There's no way they're gonna hire anxious, stressed-out Shea. 212 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,192 But mellow Shea has a shot. 213 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,517 - Look, honey, you're an adult. 214 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,391 If you want to take those pills, you can, 215 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,030 but it's safer to get a prescription for them. 216 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,396 - Wouldn't it be safer for you guys to get a prescription? 217 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,295 - She's got us beat. Let's make a break for it. 218 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,997 - Listen... 219 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,543 You didn't have to steal the pills. 220 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:05,765 You could have bought them from me. 221 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,143 - Look, young lady, we need to have a talk about drugs-- 222 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,981 maybe another time, when we're not stealing them from you, 223 00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:15,948 but it's coming. 224 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,579 - Hey, we're family. 225 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,524 First taste is free. 226 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,556 Don't be ashamed, Dad. 227 00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,127 A lot of older guys need it. 228 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,696 - I don't need it. 229 00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:31,025 Like you said, it's a party drug that a lot of young people use. 230 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,325 Also, I need one for Grandpa. 231 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:37,174 * 232 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,578 Well, that was the last pill. 233 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,706 - The last pill. 234 00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:48,853 - Say good-bye to the beast. 235 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,283 You're okay with that? 236 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,424 - Yeah, of course. 237 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,990 I mean, things were fine, 238 00:10:55,989 --> 00:11:00,229 and then we had, you know, the pill experience, 239 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:04,097 and now we go back to things being fine. 240 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,397 You know what it is, Mike? 241 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,468 It's like that time 242 00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:09,366 we got bumped up from coach to first class. 243 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:13,769 - That was awesome. They greeted us with champagne. 244 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:17,614 - Yeah, how about that chilled lobster appetizer? 245 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,550 - Oh, it was better than the food at our wedding. 246 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,276 - Yeah. 247 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,786 - What was our point, again? 248 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:28,416 Oh, yeah, we're going back to coach. 249 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:34,133 - But in coach, you still get to where you want to go. 250 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,597 And isn't getting there together, 251 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:40,926 or within a minute or two of each other, 252 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:44,344 the whole point of flying in the first place? 253 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:47,137 - Exactly. We're gonna be great. 254 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:02,923 . 255 00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:05,132 * 256 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:10,234 - So you're saying Mike took Viagra, 257 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,630 you loved it, but now you're worried. 258 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,032 - Yes. 259 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:18,014 - Well, Bob took Viagra, I loved it, 260 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:20,605 and I ain't complaining about [bleep]. 261 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,718 - I'm just a little nervous 262 00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,246 about how things are gonna go the next time we're together. 263 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:36,022 It's like if we hadn't taken the pill, 264 00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:38,733 we wouldn't know what we've been missing. 265 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:44,725 So now I wish I could unknow what I know, you know? 266 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:49,039 - I'm right there with you. - Shea! 267 00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,596 How long have you been there? 268 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,843 - Too long, really. 269 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,607 I couldn't find a good entry into the 270 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,509 "my dad and grandpa are taking Viagra so they can 271 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:03,522 give it to my mom and grandma real good" conversation. 272 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:09,359 Talk about wanting to unknow what you know. 273 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,587 - Honey, what's going on? 274 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,292 - I'm also conflicted about the morals of 275 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,304 pharmaceutical enhancement. 276 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,726 I have a pill that might help me get a job, 277 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:20,571 but if I get that job, did I get it, 278 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,167 or did some chemically aided version of me get it? 279 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,570 And how can I feel good about that? 280 00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:27,272 That's not a rhetorical question; tell me 281 00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:30,184 how I can feel good about it, because I really want that job. 282 00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:32,547 - You guys, crisis. 283 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,575 I promised myself I wouldn't read the comments 284 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,221 on my YouTube channel, and then I did, 285 00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,586 and now I just wish I hadn't. 286 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:39,745 I know haters gonna hate, 287 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:44,122 and I know I'm supposed to shake it off. 288 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,494 But how? How? 289 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,492 She doesn't tell you how! 290 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:52,069 - Okay, that's it! 291 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:56,495 You, either like the sex you have or get the pills. 292 00:13:56,503 --> 00:14:00,073 You, either trust that they'll like the person you are 293 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,543 or take the pills. 294 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,814 And you, I can't believe you're the one 295 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,983 whose problem isn't pills. 296 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:13,253 [rock music] 297 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:16,063 - I'm beginning to like this new system. 298 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,286 I feel like I can say anything up here. 299 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:23,231 Like, damn it, I'm gonna miss "Downton Abbey." 300 00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,370 - Even that stuff with Mr. Bates? 301 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:29,135 - I didn't say it was a perfect show, Mike! 302 00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,936 Anyway, I want to thank you for giving me that pill. 303 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:34,709 The thing is, I--I'd like some more. 304 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,577 - Sorry, but my source dried up. 305 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:39,506 - You don't understand, Mike. I can't go back. 306 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:40,952 Alice is a new woman. 307 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,618 This morning, she made me real bacon. 308 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:47,116 Real bacon, Mike, not that turkey [bleep]. 309 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,090 - I'd love to help you, Dad-- - I need it, Mike! 310 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:52,459 I need it bad! I'm chasing the dragon here! 311 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,129 - Settle down, Dad! 312 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:57,227 Neither of us was using before, and things were good. 313 00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:00,200 - You're not nervous about going into battle unarmed? 314 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,400 Because I am! 315 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,271 I don't want Alice to give me that 316 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:07,040 "don't worry, it's fine" speech. 317 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,810 - I hate the "don't worry, it's fine" speech. 318 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:12,178 I was there. I know things weren't fine. 319 00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:15,579 Look, the bottom line is, I don't have any more pills. 320 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,722 You got to get a prescription from your doctor. 321 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:18,987 - My doctor? 322 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:23,016 I'm not telling that handsy bastard about this. 323 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,793 - Well, that's your only option. They're about $10 a pill. 324 00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,362 - $10? 325 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,330 I haven't paid that much for sex since Saigon. 326 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:35,595 And I had to talk her down. 327 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,202 What? 328 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:41,744 You always ask me to talk about the war; I'm talking about it. 329 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:46,281 * 330 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,419 - Look, Mike-- - I don't need a recap. 331 00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:58,662 I know that was coach sex. 332 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,628 - Don't worry. It's fine. 333 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,687 - [moans] 334 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,834 - Oh, come--we're just-- 335 00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,095 We're just putting too much pressure on ourselves. 336 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,541 We just have to get out of our heads. 337 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:10,666 Let's watch some TV. 338 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,340 - Mets are playing. 339 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:17,540 - And it's a swing and a miss for Johnson. 340 00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,814 Oh, what a letdown. 341 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:23,722 Usually, he's one of the team's big bats. 342 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:28,186 He cannot feel good about tonight's performance. 343 00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:31,223 - Too soon. 344 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:36,226 . 345 00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:38,225 * 346 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:42,397 - Well, so it's come to this: I'm in the parking garage 347 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:46,572 of a doctor's office, waiting to get a prescription for Viagra. 348 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,437 I mean, what's next? Hearing aids? 349 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:53,082 That little chair that rides up and down the stairs? 350 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,080 - Ooh, I've always wanted one of those. 351 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:59,253 - They do look like fun, huh? 352 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,752 You know, from now on when they ask what prescriptions I take, 353 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,664 I'm gonna have to list this. 354 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,326 I'm gonna have to put it on forms, Martina. 355 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,655 Forms! 356 00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:11,829 - Okay, let's try to chill out. Take some deep breaths. 357 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,131 Listen to some music. 358 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,273 Um, I'll put on a relaxation CD. 359 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,098 - Not that whale songs one. 360 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,374 It makes me sad. 361 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,471 They all sound like they need my help. 362 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,578 - Vodka? What's vodka doing in the car? 363 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:27,247 both: Stella. 364 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:30,177 - We did something right with that one. 365 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,753 - I wouldn't mind a shot. 366 00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:32,751 - Me neither. 367 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:33,752 We take her pills; 368 00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,263 we might as well drink her booze. 369 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,434 - I seem to recall 370 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:43,295 Stella was conceived in a car not unlike this one. 371 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:49,765 I kept honking the horn by accident with my back. 372 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,139 - That was an accident? 373 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:53,508 I thought you were saying, "Good job." 374 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:56,737 - Remember that? 375 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,553 Having sex in cars? 376 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:05,846 It was all so new and exciting and crazy. 377 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,352 Long time ago. 378 00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,694 - Doesn't feel that long ago. 379 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:12,559 You are just as beautiful as the day I met you. 380 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,930 More beautiful, I would say. 381 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:22,939 - And you, still so strong and handsome. 382 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,935 Look at these things. They're like granite. 383 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,009 - Keep talking. 384 00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:30,778 - Or... 385 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,647 maybe we should stop talking. 386 00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,346 * 387 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,718 Hey, here's an idea. 388 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,359 - Well, I loved your last one. I'm all ears. 389 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,994 - Let's get out of here. 390 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:49,702 We don't need those pills. We got a backseat. 391 00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,556 - You know what? You're right. 392 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,504 This will be my new pickup line. 393 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,500 [car beeps] 394 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,501 - [laughs] 395 00:18:56,503 --> 00:19:00,613 * 396 00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:04,407 - Look, Dad, Mom's makeover video already has 80,000 views. 397 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,051 - And you can make money off that? 398 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:09,075 - Even better, I get exposure. 399 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,081 - And how does that lead to your own apartment? 400 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:14,223 - [laughs] Dad, you're so funny. 401 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:18,233 - Could not have been more serious. 402 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,429 - All right, I have got champagne and tissues for Shea. 403 00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:23,999 Champagne if she got the job. 404 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,226 Tissues and champagne if she didn't. 405 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,037 - Hey, did you get the job? 406 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:32,671 - I did. 407 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,042 - Hey! - Yay! 408 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,110 - But then I lost it. 409 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,937 - Oh. - Aww. 410 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:38,553 What happened, honey? 411 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,145 - Thanks to the antianxiety pills, 412 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:43,576 I was relaxed, calm, confident, but then they told me 413 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,253 all new employees are required to take a drug test, 414 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,053 at which point I ran out of the room abruptly 415 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:50,264 and came right home. 416 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:55,561 -I don't think they test for antianxiety medication. 417 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:56,962 - I know that now. 418 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,903 But I don't think they're going to hire the person 419 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,068 who squealed and ran away 420 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,196 when she heard the words "drug test." 421 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,543 Did I not mention I squealed? 422 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:12,108 - Rookie mistake. You always bring clean pee. 423 00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:15,681 And I could have gotten you some. 424 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:18,522 Oh, wait, I get mine from you. 425 00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:22,258 - How did I not know that? 426 00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,215 - How do I unknow that? 427 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,188 - Mike! 428 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,961 We need to talk. 429 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:33,033 * 430 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:36,142 - Okay, we've reached speaking altitude. 431 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,165 - I wanted you to know I caved in 432 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,410 and got a prescription-- 433 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:45,037 not from my doctor but from some queer downtown. 434 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,784 - Dad, I don't know if we're at homophobic altitude. 435 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,450 - What? That's how he identifies. 436 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,750 He thought "bisexual" was constrictive. 437 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,492 I'm trying to be respectful here. 438 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:58,188 Look, if you need a pill, I'll give you one. 439 00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,430 - Well, thanks, but I'm off them; I'm clean. 440 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,887 What changed your mind? 441 00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:03,904 - Well, I figure I'll take one every now and again 442 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:06,526 when I want real bacon in the morning. 443 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:11,338 Let's face it; I take pills for my heart, 444 00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:15,008 and I like my johnson a lot more than my ticker. 445 00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:17,983 - Better land this thing safely. 446 00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:21,447 I do not want those to be the last words you ever say to me.