1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:01,242 . 2 00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:02,740 [upbeat rock music] 3 00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:08,009 - Oh, hey, honey. I was just-- - Shh. Where are the girls? 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,578 - In their rooms. Why? 5 00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:12,347 - Okay, nice and easy, let's sneak out to a movie, 6 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,876 just the two of us. 7 00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,881 - I'll go get my purse. - No, no, too risky. 8 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,423 We go to go now. - Not without my purse. 9 00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:19,248 - You don't need your purse, I got my wallet. 10 00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:20,993 But I need my brush, lipstick, concealer. 11 00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,558 - What are you trying to conceal? 12 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,086 I know what you look like. 13 00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:26,032 Let's go before we're late. 14 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,696 - Late for what? - Yeah, where are we going? 15 00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:28,755 - The movies. - Nowhere. 16 00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,272 both: Yay! 17 00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,095 - Let me just take care of something real quick. 18 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:36,201 Aaron, we're doing stuff. You got to leave. 19 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,041 Aaron, family. Family, Aaron. 20 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,239 - It's nice to meet you. 21 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:41,441 You have a beautiful home, 22 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,182 and you've raised a wonderful daughter. 23 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,577 - They know. 24 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,178 - I will text you later. 25 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,250 - Great. 26 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:50,319 [door closes] - He seems nice. 27 00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:51,688 - Yeah. He's too nice. 28 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,785 I got to get rid of him. 29 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,657 We spend one night together, and now he's all, 30 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:58,626 "Let's go out again and hold hands in the park, 31 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:01,156 ride the carousel, share our stories." 32 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:03,802 [scoffs] Who wants that? 33 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:04,897 - I do. 34 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,468 You just described my favorite montage 35 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,137 in every romantic comedy. 36 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,366 Well, that and the montage of trying on different outfits 37 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:14,881 that your boyfriend bought you even though you're a hooker. 38 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,005 And those snooty Beverly Hills sales ladies-- 39 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,780 they're just jealous of what I have... 40 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,980 I mean she has. 41 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:25,023 - Look, I've dated enough guys to realize 42 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,648 they're always jerks in the end. 43 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,064 So now I'm the jerk. 44 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,985 I'm breaking the hearts. 45 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,760 I'm the reason they woke up downtown on a curb 46 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,689 in their own vomit, wondering how they got there. 47 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,434 And it feels good. 48 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,629 - Martina, jump in here. Fix her. 49 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:38,901 - Look, honey, I understand 50 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,069 you've been through some bad relationships, 51 00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:44,068 but one day you'll meet somebody you want to spend time with, 52 00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:46,171 maybe get married... 53 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:47,484 raise kids with. 54 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,505 - I don't need a guy to help me raise my kid. 55 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:52,280 I've got you and Dad. 56 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,920 - This kitchen is killing me right now. 57 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,775 Can we just go to the movies before-- 58 00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:57,794 - Hey. 59 00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,285 - That happens. 60 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:02,418 - We're here to return your latest attempt 61 00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:03,723 at an anniversary gift. 62 00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,594 - Yes, we don't even know what it is. 63 00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:07,203 - Oh, it's a picture disc. 64 00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:09,755 We put all your photos on it, so they'll play on your TV 65 00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,063 like a screensaver. 66 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,804 - So they all show up in order? 67 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,540 - No, they appear randomly, so it's always a surprise. 68 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,506 - So, in one picture, I'm in my 20s, 69 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,005 and in the next, I-- 70 00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:23,106 Wait. How old did I tell you all I was? 71 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:26,050 - Anyway, Mike, the thought doesn't even count on this one. 72 00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,016 Try again. 73 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:29,715 - Okay, there's two movies starting soon. 74 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:32,217 One is some old-timey movie called "The Bodyguard"-- 75 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,520 - "The Bodyguard"? 76 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,521 That's the movie we saw on our first date. 77 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:36,823 Bob! - What? 78 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,694 - They're talking about "The Bodyguard"! 79 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:42,662 - What? - "The Bodyguard"! 80 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,303 - That's the movie we saw on our first date! 81 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,029 Oh, what an unforgettable night. 82 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,544 I picked her up-- - No, I drove. 83 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,407 - Right, because my car was in the shop. 84 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:54,405 - No, because you wanted to drink. 85 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:57,578 - Right, booze. That sounds like me. 86 00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,048 - We're going to the movies right now. 87 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,776 You should come with us. - We're in. 88 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:04,251 - [beep] purse. 89 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:07,262 - You know what? We should all go see "The Bodyguard." 90 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,855 My first date with Alice changed my life for the better 91 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,257 in every single way, 92 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:14,089 and I want you all to share that memory with us. 93 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:17,274 - Oh, baby, you are so sweet. 94 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,795 both: Mwah. - Okay, fine. 95 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:19,999 You want an anniversary gift? 96 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,070 This is it. 97 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:22,138 We'll all go to the movies 98 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,865 and re-create your first date with you. 99 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:26,111 And from this point forward, none of us will act 100 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,536 like that's weird. 101 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,912 - You got a deal. We'll pick Ethan up on the way. 102 00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:34,011 - Yeah, because we need more people. 103 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,954 - Oh, would you go get my purse? 104 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,119 - Sure. It caused all of this. 105 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,617 It might as well come with us. 106 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,658 No. 107 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,601 No. 108 00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,768 No! No! No! 109 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,767 [upbeat music] 110 00:03:56,770 --> 00:04:04,750 * 111 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,616 - Martina's with the girls. 112 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,215 I need to talk to somebody privately, 113 00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,016 and you're the only person available. 114 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,818 - Now? 115 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:15,120 I'm in the middle of the Star Jumble. 116 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:17,832 "Bard Tipt." 117 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:20,155 - It's Brad Pitt. 118 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:27,702 - You've seen this one. 119 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,101 - I found this on the kitchen floor. 120 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,672 It's a positive pregnancy test. 121 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:31,741 - Oh, jeez. 122 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,109 - It's got to be Stella's, right? 123 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,806 - Well, it definitely can't Shea's. 124 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,038 She's an innocent child. 125 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:38,053 - She's 23. - What? 126 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:40,345 That can't be right. 127 00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:41,918 What about Martina? 128 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,145 She's still young enough. 129 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,820 - It's not Martina's. She would have told me. 130 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,188 - Hmm. 131 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,186 Well, maybe she's just waiting for the right time 132 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,418 or, uh... 133 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,693 or... 134 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,261 - Or what? 135 00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,799 - It's not yours. 136 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,672 - Are you actually saying that to me? 137 00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,169 - As your father, it's ridiculous. 138 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:06,910 But as an ex-cop, I've got to consider all possibilities. 139 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:10,237 Her phone is right there. Let's check it for suspects. 140 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,953 - I am not gonna do that. 141 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,605 - So you'll just raise the kid as your own? 142 00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,754 - Oh, stop that. 143 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,549 Martina has nothing to hide. 144 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,191 - So it won't hurt to look at it. 145 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:22,956 - Fine. Just to shut you up. 146 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,456 Oh, David Connor. 147 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,058 - Who's that? An old boyfriend? 148 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:29,659 - Oh, for God's sake! 149 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:33,833 Yes. 150 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:34,904 "The other night was great. 151 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:37,042 Meet me at the hotel Friday at 9:00." 152 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,207 - Mm. 153 00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:42,135 In the cop business, we call that a clue. 154 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:44,607 - What's going on? 155 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,452 - Okay, look, let me first say that I love you. 156 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:47,877 I trust you completely, 157 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:50,051 but Dad and I went through your phone, 158 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:53,220 and it appears that you've been banging your ex-boyfriend 159 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:56,720 and are pregnant with his baby, so... 160 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,194 thoughts? 161 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,532 - What's wrong with you? 162 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:06,631 - David Connor texted you about meeting at a hotel. 163 00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:10,244 - Yes, because he wants me to check out the the venue 164 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,437 for his wedding to Marcus. 165 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,570 He's gay now. 166 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,114 We're going to his wedding next month. 167 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,608 I told you all about this. 168 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:20,551 - Okay, wait. Were the Mets on when you were talking? 169 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,678 And did I nod and say, "Sounds good"? 170 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:26,453 - Yes. - Well, there you have it. 171 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,764 Oh, crap. Do we really have to go to a wedding? 172 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:29,816 - Forget the wedding. 173 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,193 Why did you think I was pregnant? 174 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:34,131 - Oh, right. Damn it. Somebody's still pregnant. 175 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,030 Look what I found in our kitchen. 176 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,201 - [gasps] 177 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,029 Our kitchen? - Yeah, of course our kitchen. 178 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,344 Why would I take a pregnancy test 179 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:45,235 from someone else's kitchen? 180 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,268 - Okay, okay, let's not freak out 181 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:50,114 and jump to the logical and correct conclusion 182 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,750 that Stella's pregnant. 183 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:52,975 - How do we do that? 184 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:55,220 - Hold on. I'll think of something. 185 00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,545 Got one. 186 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,050 The plumber dropped her pregnancy test 187 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,092 on the kitchen floor. 188 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,788 - When's the last time you saw a female plumber? 189 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,791 - A woman can plumb. - This is not the time. 190 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,633 - You're right. 191 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:10,098 Look, we need to confirm things with Stella, 192 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,897 and then we'll figure out what to do from there. 193 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,230 - Is it too late for adoption? 194 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,244 - It hasn't even been born yet. 195 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:21,642 . 196 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:23,243 - Here you go, Dad. 197 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,812 - Oh, thanks, son. 198 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:30,354 Large popcorn with butter-- just like our first date. 199 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,650 - No, you had Sour Patch Kids. 200 00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,193 - Oh, yeah. 201 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:38,427 I love those tart little bastards. 202 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,625 - Do you remember where we sat that night? 203 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,028 - Of course I do. 204 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,359 Fifth row, center, best seats in the house-- 205 00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,104 my signature move. 206 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,669 - We sat in the front row because you weren't ready 207 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,099 when I picked you up. 208 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,973 - Ah, yes, fashionably late-- 209 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,812 my signature move. 210 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,178 I remember it well. 211 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:59,176 - Oh, God, you're remembering things after I tell you. 212 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:03,549 It's not remembering. It's just hearing. 213 00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:06,191 - Guys, who is "Bard Tipt"? 214 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:13,757 - Ethan, you'll never believe what I overheard in the lobby. 215 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,801 They're having a secret advanced screening 216 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,926 of "Prisoners of Galifron" here tonight. 217 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,871 - Are you kidding me? I love those books! 218 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:20,897 - Me too! 219 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,571 Just think--on the other side of that wall, 220 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:24,940 the Galifronians will be fighting for their freedom. 221 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,238 - And yet we sit idly by and do nothing, 222 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,640 like the cowards of Fargul. 223 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:30,983 - We could ask if we could go. 224 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,348 - Or... 225 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,105 we could sneak out and not tell anyone, 226 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,084 like the rebels of Zukon. 227 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:39,193 - They died. 228 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,986 Plus, I never could. 229 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,418 I'm a rule-follower. 230 00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,362 Just yesterday I wanted to sample a third flavor 231 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,127 at the frozen-yogurt place, but... 232 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,456 both: The limit is two. 233 00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,131 - I know how you feel. 234 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,230 But where has all this rule-following gotten us? 235 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,172 Living with our parents, out of work, 236 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,337 spending a Friday night 237 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,865 re-creating my parents' first date. 238 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,071 - What's even sadder is, 239 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,242 it's the first date I've been on in months. 240 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,341 The last time I kissed someone, the constellation Orion 241 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:07,213 hadn't even risen in the western sky yet. 242 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:10,084 It was six months ago. 243 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,323 Let's do it. 244 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:14,148 [quirky music] 245 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,624 It's sold out. 246 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,993 The one time we break the rules, we don't get to enjoy it. 247 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:21,031 - Unless we break more rules. 248 00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,728 - More rules? 249 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,930 - We could sneak in and stand in the back. 250 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,272 - Stand in the back? 251 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,736 That's violating the fire code. 252 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,195 You need to keep the aisle clear. 253 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:32,012 Everyone knows that. 254 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:36,005 Now I'm getting a sweat mustache just thinking about it. 255 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,679 - What are you two doing here? 256 00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,648 And where's your vest? 257 00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:40,677 - Um... 258 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,081 I don't know how to answer that. 259 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:46,292 - You're supposed to have your vest on before your shift. 260 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,456 - Uh, sorry, boss. She won't let it happen again. 261 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,256 - [sighs] 262 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,658 Here, put this on. 263 00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:54,530 "Prisoners of Galifron" is about to start. 264 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:57,497 Get inside and give the pre-show speech. 265 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:04,437 - Oh, my God, now we're impersonating employees too? 266 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,037 - Maybe for the first time in our lives, 267 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,109 we should color outside the lines. 268 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,438 - I couldn't even sit next to the kids who did that. 269 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,253 If the bear and the bunny and the birthday present 270 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,475 are all the same color, 271 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,280 that's not a tea party, that's chaos! 272 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:19,123 - Well, maybe you and I need some chaos in our lives. 273 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:22,889 And what are they gonna do, send us to movie jail? 274 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,990 - But what if I get addicted to this? 275 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:27,262 What if I need bigger and bigger highs? 276 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:28,600 I've seen this in movies. 277 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,425 It starts with one minor transgression, 278 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,430 and before you know it, you're working the streets 279 00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,602 to pay for your habit. 280 00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:38,141 And then one day, along comes a handsome banker, 281 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,938 and he rents you out for the night. 282 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,542 The next thing you know, you're at the opera, 283 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,213 and everyone thinks you're a real lady. 284 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,378 Let's do it. 285 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:56,059 [soft music] 286 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,186 - She's crying. 287 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:01,831 - It's the pregnancy hormones. 288 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:04,329 - I was wrong about this movie. 289 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,001 It's so romantic. 290 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,399 He would take a bullet for her. 291 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:13,211 The most a guy has ever taken for me is a drug test. 292 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:17,236 [crying] And he failed. 293 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:20,454 - Your grandfather would take a bullet for me any day. 294 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:22,577 - I would? 295 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,522 You bet I would! 296 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,560 But why would anyone want to shoot you? 297 00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,986 You're perfect in every way. 298 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:37,396 - Oh, guys, even though you're old, you still have feelings. 299 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,574 - Ooh, now she's texting someone. 300 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:43,569 [cell phone chimes] 301 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,640 Oh! 302 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:48,107 She's texting me. 303 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,878 She needs a tampon. 304 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,777 - Ugh, gross. 305 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:53,980 - No, not gross. 306 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:57,021 That means she's not pregnant! 307 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:58,817 But wait. 308 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,449 That means it's Shea. 309 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:01,693 [gasps] 310 00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:02,888 Shea's pregnant. 311 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:09,930 . 312 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,100 - Shea can't have a baby. Shea is a baby. 313 00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,813 - Well, clearly she's more grown up than we thought. 314 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,536 - Where is she? 315 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,010 - I don't know. 316 00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:24,239 I'll text her. 317 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,814 - So please turn off your cell phones. 318 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,283 [cell phone chimes] 319 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,550 See? Someone's texting me, 320 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,148 but they're just gonna have to wait, 321 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,820 because I'm turning off my cell phone. 322 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,349 [crowd chattering] 323 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,323 - Seriously, guys, listen up. 324 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:40,492 We are real ushers talking to you. 325 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,133 - Let me switch to Galifronian. 326 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,305 - [sighs] Why won't Shea text back? 327 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,524 - Let's go look for her. 328 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:05,115 I don't like this movie, anyway. 329 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,258 I like movies where they don't end up together in the end. 330 00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:09,855 - Nice spoiler, dude. 331 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:11,557 - This movie's 20 years old. 332 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,488 That's on you. 333 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,358 - Oh, my God. 334 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,704 I just had an epitome. 335 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,899 Did you guys realize that you're a white cop guy 336 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,202 like Kevin Costner 337 00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,943 and you're a black lady like Whitney Houston? 338 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:29,339 It's like they made this movie so you guys would fall in love. 339 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,882 - Well, it sure worked. 340 00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:34,509 And it's bringing back so many memories. 341 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,224 [sniffles] 342 00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:39,246 [voice breaking] I don't know why I'm getting so emotional. 343 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,027 - I just had a terrible thought. 344 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,356 - Not now. We're looking for Shea. 345 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,530 - What if that test belongs to Alice? 346 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:52,899 - Alice? 347 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,940 Isn't she beyond that? 348 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,935 - The women in her family stay fertile forever. 349 00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:03,008 Her sister retired and had a baby that same year. 350 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,710 Plus, she's acting moody, 351 00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:08,481 and her bust is very bounteous. 352 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:11,451 - Aren't those her usual characteristics? 353 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,791 - I'm gonna ask her. 354 00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,915 - You do that. 355 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:18,362 - Have you lost your damn mind? 356 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,228 - It's not Alice. 357 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,958 - Good to know. 358 00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:28,672 - You are now a prisoner of Galifron! 359 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,168 - This is amazing! 360 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,370 - Excuse me. 361 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,411 - Shh. It's cool. 362 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,705 We're real ushers. 363 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,607 - No, we're real ushers. 364 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:41,050 You're...not. 365 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,848 - You're going to movie jail. 366 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,615 - Well, we now know two things-- 367 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:51,020 one, we've been banned from the movie theater for six months. 368 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:54,564 Two, movie jail is just the manager's office. 369 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,531 - No, not in there either. 370 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,759 - [gasps] There she is. 371 00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,404 Oh, she's glowing. Look at her. 372 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,300 How did we not notice the glow? 373 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:06,743 - Okay, let's try to keep it together. 374 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:10,309 Oh, my God, my little baby's pregnant. 375 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,810 - Hey, Shea. 376 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:16,022 - Mom, Dad, I made a terrible mistake. 377 00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,176 - You don't have to say it. 378 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:19,294 We know, and we're here for you. 379 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:20,416 - Don't be mad at Shea. 380 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,220 I talked her into it. 381 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,433 both: What? - No, Ethan. 382 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,725 I wanted to do it just as much as he did. 383 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:34,270 And I loved every second of it. 384 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,337 But now I'm paying for it. 385 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,006 - Ethan, how the hell could you do this? 386 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,005 - Mike, it was only one time. 387 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:44,507 And in six months, we can go in and out as much as we please. 388 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,906 - Why would you say that to me? 389 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,084 Are you insane? 390 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,583 - Look, Dad, it only happened 391 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:55,124 because he was wearing that vest. 392 00:15:55,122 --> 00:16:00,032 - Do you have some sort of vest fetish? 393 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:01,457 - What the hell is going on out here? 394 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,901 You're missing the end of the movie. 395 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,155 - I'll tell you what's going on. 396 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,174 Because of your stepson, my daughter's pregnant. 397 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,626 all: What? - No, I'm not. 398 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,074 - Not you. Shea. 399 00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:12,139 - Finally, I'm the good one. 400 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,409 - I'm not pregnant. 401 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,476 - And it's gone. 402 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,805 - Mike, all Shea and I did was sneak into a movie. 403 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,950 - Yeah, I understand my reputation's tarnished, 404 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,546 but why would you think I'm pregnant? 405 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,348 - Well, I found this positive pregnancy test 406 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,420 in the kitchen. 407 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,817 - Our kitchen? 408 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,958 - Why does everyone question what kitchen I'm in? 409 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:32,455 - Dad, that's mine. 410 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,499 Oh, you want more information? 411 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,195 - That would be helpful. 412 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,697 - I drew the plus sign on with a marker. 413 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,369 It's my magic breakup stick. 414 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,299 It makes guys disappear. 415 00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:49,736 I show it to them and say, "Oops, you're a daddy." 416 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,982 And then I tell them have to get a better job and marry me, 417 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:56,078 and then, poof, they're pretty much gone. 418 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,293 Now, I know what you're all thinking. 419 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:05,159 - Maybe you better tell us what we're thinking. 420 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:08,098 - That I should bring this genius idea to "Shark Tank"? 421 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,430 That's really sweet, you guys. 422 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,102 But I don't know. 423 00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:16,641 Tonight it's kind of bumming me out. 424 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:17,896 Something about this movie 425 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,444 and the whole "I Will Always Love You" thing 426 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,440 and Grandma and Grandpa's beautiful marriage. 427 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,883 - And ours. 428 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,448 - Sure, but it's more moving when it's interracial. 429 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:32,019 You guys didn't have to fight society for your love. 430 00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:36,558 - They fought nothing. It was the '90s. 431 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,716 - Shut up, Mike. 432 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,794 We're heroes, and you know it. 433 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,132 - Calm down, honey. 434 00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,928 Let's just go back and watch the rest of the movie. 435 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,399 - Good idea. 436 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,197 You know, I thought it might be nice to share it 437 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,699 with the family, but Mike was right. 438 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,141 It is kind of weird. 439 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,205 - Look, Stella, I don't want to give you some big lecture. 440 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:58,208 - Thanks, Dad. - Get back here. 441 00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,481 Have a seat. 442 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,954 The first time I saw one of those pregnancy tests, 443 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,620 your mother was pregnant with you. 444 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,288 - Oh, the timing could not have been worse. 445 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,418 - But I couldn't have been happier. 446 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,733 I was so excited to meet you... 447 00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,756 this little baby that was gonna change our whole lives. 448 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,803 - Aw, Dad. 449 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,468 - Hey. You are a beautiful young woman 450 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,468 who can get any guy you want, 451 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,470 but you deserve a guy who sees that stick 452 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:28,912 and runs towards you, not away from you. 453 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:32,308 - That would be nice. I would like that... 454 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,852 someday. 455 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,516 But maybe a nice guy like Aaron gets a second date. 456 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,016 - That sounds good. 457 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:41,187 Maybe even invite him over for a family dinner. 458 00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:43,458 - I'll do that. I'll go call him right now. 459 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,916 He's in between sets. 460 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:46,294 - What is he, in a band? 461 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:49,303 - No. He's a go-go boy. 462 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:54,697 But don't worry. He's only gay for pay. 463 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,106 He'll tell you all about it at dinner. 464 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:06,476 - Only gay for pay. 465 00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:11,218 - At least he has a job. 466 00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:17,387 . 467 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:18,627 - * And I 468 00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:27,699 * Will always love you 469 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,870 - So here we are, all alone in the theater, 470 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,140 holding hands, just like our first date. 471 00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,509 - Yeah. 472 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,877 I remember you smiled like that that night, 473 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,376 and I thought to myself, 474 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:42,078 "Bob, don't screw this up. This is the one." 475 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,421 - I felt the same way. 476 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:48,017 - I'll never forget how beautiful you were that night. 477 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,560 - You remember the important stuff. 478 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:52,156 I'll give you that. - [chuckles] 479 00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:56,728 I also remember when all the credits were done, 480 00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:59,329 I picked you up like Kevin picked up Whitney 481 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:02,242 and carried you right out of the theater. 482 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:05,465 - Those days are gone. 483 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:08,542 - The hell they are. 484 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,783 Jump in, baby. 485 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:17,547 I'm fine. I'm fine. I just pulled a muscle. 486 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,320 - You're a dummy. 487 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:22,589 - A very, very romantic dummy. 488 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,019 both: Mwah. 489 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:26,633 - Remind me to throw my back out more often. 490 00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,801 Watch the corner. 491 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,998 [lively music] 492 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,471 - You know, for a half second there, 493 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,509 when I thought you were pregnant, 494 00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:42,136 a little part of me was excited. 495 00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:43,611 - Really? 496 00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:46,510 - Well, you know, babies are so cute-- 497 00:20:46,513 --> 00:20:49,553 the way they smell and look at you... 498 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:53,819 that drunk smile they get after they finish their bottle. 499 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:55,720 - They see everything for the first time, 500 00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,222 and somehow... 501 00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:02,134 it all feels new again. 502 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,658 - We're still young. 503 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,204 Why don't we have another one? 504 00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:08,499 - I'm gonna go see Aaron. 505 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:11,941 Can I have some money for condoms? 506 00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,808 - Oh, yeah, that's why. 507 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:17,236 [upbeat rock music]